Laid Bare
by Brits23
Summary: Desperate to taste-unable to deny. A defective vampire-a deceptive human girl. Monster and man discovers primal urges he never knew existed. Can it ever be enough? To drink her is completion, to touch her is salvation.AU, ExB OOC,Canon pairs
1. Good Girl, Bad Girl

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Copyright 2009 by Brits23.**

**Story rated M for underage drinking, smoking, brief drug use and overall bad behavior. Also rated for sexual situations, lemons, and hot, steamy, angsty vampire lovin'. Not a fan? Then this may not be the story for you. Canon pairing, pretty much OOC, ExB of course…are you still down?**

**WOOT! Then settle in and hold on tight.**

**Okay, now that the business portion is out of the way…hey guys!! :) To all of my lovely readers who followed me over from SADT, thank you so so so much for joining me on yet another endeavor. Your praises and amazing words are the things that keep me going. I do this for you guys!! Oh and a little for me too, I suppose….hehe.**

**If you're just finding my story, I hope you enjoy my writing. Check out my other story, Show and Don't Tell, sometime. I'm glad to have you here!! :)**

**To my beta, life saver, queen of the universe…Isabel. Nothing I do would be possible without your support and genius betaing skills. I love ya so freaking hard girl, for real.**

**Melissa…you know I don't even have words for you…this story wouldn't exist without your influence, thoughts, support, and massive pimping/praising. Befriending you has made the world of writing so much more than I ever could have imagined. I love love love YOU!!!!! Guys, be sure to read Breaking Trinity by my girl Mel AKA VvDeadRosesvV…it will blow your mind, trust. Linkage: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5379823/1/Breaking_Trinity**

**Let's get on with it, ya'll, I can't wait another minute…**

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***BPOV***

I straightened the daisies in the vase once, twice, three times. Perfect. I smiled as I heard the gravel crunching under the tires of Charlie's police cruiser. I rushed to the stove, fixing our plates before depositing them on the table and waiting expectantly for my father to walk into the kitchen.

Front door slammed.

Five steps.

_Showtime…_

"Hi Daddy!" I chimed, throwing my arms around his neck.

"Hey Bells," he laughed awkwardly, still not used to showing affection with me, even after five years. "What smells so good?"

He took off his jacket and hung it on the chair before sitting down. "I made up some of that fish in the freezer with Harry Clearwater's fish fry." I smoothed out my long skirt before sitting down at the table and adjusting my hair tie.

Our silence during dinner was calm and companionable. Small talk was unnecessary between us. Who honestly enjoyed small talk anyway? When Charlie finished eating, I grabbed his plate and threw it in the sink, preparing the dishwater. I felt him staring at me. I turned to see him leaning against the arch separating the kitchen from the living room. "Bells? You really gonna do student council, tutoring, and babysitting for the Mallory's? Don't you want to take it easy your senior year?" He asked incredulously.

I just giggled innocently, pulling at a piece of lint on my cardigan sweater. _Sweet enough to give you a cavity…that's me_. "Of course, Daddy. It's important to do our part to better the community. You do it every day by risking your life for our safety. It's the least I can do to lend a helping hand in making Forks a secure and friendly environment for all."

Charlie just sighed and pushed off the wall, muttering, "Don't know where she gets it from."

I washed the dishes quickly and wiped down the table. It was Friday and I was anxious to get up to my room. Once the kitchen was immaculate, I went into the living room and kissed my father on the head. "I'm going to do some homework and call it an early night. Is that okay?"

He just grunted and patted my forearm, eyes never breaking away from the football game on his flat screen.

I fought back an eye roll and skipped up the stairs.

Once my door was cracked, I smiled as the familiar weekend scents reached me.

I stepped in and closed the door lightly, turning the lock with a soft click. I pulled my long hair out of my bun and ran my fingers through it, letting it fall to my lower back. A devious grin spread across my face as I spun around quickly. I slid off my long skirt and cardigan sweater, leaving me in nothing but my jean mini skirt and a white tank top.

"Alright, you mother fuckers," I smirked, turning up the radio. "Deal my ass in and give me that fucking bottle."

*************

"Well, if it isn't Miss Sunshine and fucking Daisies," Jake teased, slapping my ass and passing me the half empty bottle of tequila.

"Suck it, Black," I growled, giving him the finger and plopping down on my bed next to Sam.

"Hmm, I _wish_ you'd let me suck it baby," he said deeply, making my stomach twist in disgust.

Jacob Black wanted in my pants worse than fucking air. It wasn't ever going to happen. And hopefully he'd never find out that I was sleeping with his best friend, or Embry would be a fucking dead man.

"Hey baby girl," Sam leaned over, kissing the top of my head. "You done playin' Susie Q for the day?"

He hung his head out the window and took a long drag off of his joint before nodding me over. I leaned out of the opening and let the cool evening air assault me as I indulged rather eagerly. The smoke burned my lungs and clouded my brain in a mind numbing sort of way. I fucking loved my weekends.

"Entirely done, Sammy. So what is it tonight? Texas Hold 'em? Seven card stud? Let's just get the hell on with it so I can school you bitches." I looked over at Embry and gave him a little wink. He just bit his lip and went on looking sexy as hell like always.

I lit a few sticks of incense and bellied up to the table set up beside my bed. _Good thing Daddy thought I just liked my room to smell pretty._

Hell, it didn't matter. He thought I was so damn angelic, I could toke up right in front of him and he still wouldn't believe it.

So this was my life. I was two different people. It was fucked up, but it worked for me. When I came to live with my Dad five years ago after my mother's death, I had no idea who I was. All I knew was that I wanted to be the perfect daughter for Charlie. We only had each other and I wanted to make sure he was happy. I really did love my old man—both of me did. A week after I moved to Forks, I was reintroduced to Jake. I hadn't seen him since I was five and he tried to kiss me. I punched him right in the fucking face and refused to see him after that day. His dad and Charlie were best friends, so it was difficult to avoid him when I visited, but I managed. When we were reunited as 12 year olds, I told him to keep his hands off of me and we could be friends again. He agreed and left me alone (up until very recently, unfortunately). He introduced me to his friends and they've been my crew ever since.

Jake wasn't always a troubled kid, but as the years went on, he got into some bad shit. All of my boys were less than socially acceptable, but they were mine nonetheless. From there on out, I became La Push Bella and Forks Bella. I kept up my innocent façade, which pleased Charlie, and on the weekends I got to be my normal, bad ass self. It worked well. I mean, the weekdays were fucking monotonous. I hung out with Angela mostly, and she was so fucking sweet it made you sick. I liked her, because you couldn't not. But sometimes I just wanted to bitch slap her and say, 'Um honey, you need to fucking get laid and smoke an L…or at least remove the giant stick from your ass.'

"Hey space case, your deal," Quil called, breaking me from my thoughts. Bone Thugs drifted out of my stereo, the anthem for my boys. All of them were a year out of high school except for Jake. During the day they ran a small and rather shady auto shop. At night, well it wasn't just car parts they were slinging. Did I agree with it? Not really. Was it my business? Fuck no. I mean, I _did_ enjoy my occasional high, and tequila was a burning gift from the Gods, but other than that I was pretty straight edge. Oh, besides the occasionally decent sex I had with Embry.

Straight edge all the way.

Fucking Embry was a huge accident. I never set out to do it and he probably didn't either. I was just the mascot for a group of rough and tumble Indian boys. Sam and Quil were gone one weekend "on business" and Jake got his ass grounded when Billy found his stash. That night I crept up to my room and found Embry lounging on my bed alone, bud and booze in hand.

I was eager to partake.

We didn't play cards that night since it was just the two of us, so we smoked and drank and chilled. Before I knew it my legs were around his waist, his hands were up my skirt and my tongue was jammed down his throat. I'd been hitting it ever since.

The sex wasn't like earth shattering or some shit, but it did my body good. And Embry was a fucking tan-skinned God. His muscles rippled, his dark hair stood up spiky and thick, his brown eyes were big and his teeth were white. I told him if he kept his dick out of those skanks at the rez he could keep on getting it from me. He hasn't touched another girl. He knows I'd fuck him right up if I got the critters those rez girls were carrying.

I snapped out of it and went back to the task at hand. "I raise, bitch."

Jake just wiggled his tongue at me and I threw my pillow at him. Fucking gross.

All of a sudden a flash of white skin and bronze hair flickered through my mind.

Fuck.

The new emo boy in my biology class had been assaulting my memory all week long. I was intrigued. I mean usually I'm not into guys that are prettier than me, but there was something dark inside of him. It stood out from a mile away. I liked dark. The second I sat down, he glared at me like I was the devil incarnate. It made me soak my panties right fucking through. I had no clue why. My saintly "best friend" Angela gave me the rundown on the Cullens. Their father was a doctor who had just transferred from a rural clinic in Alaska. Apparently all the kids were adopted, none of them biologically his. There were five Cullens, each of them pale and freakishly attractive. Two girls and three boys. One boy in particular had captured my attention.

His name was Edward, which was pretty fucking weird…it's 2009. The air was so thick during our time in biology. He'd been glaring and grimacing and gripping the table all week. I had to restrain myself from climbing under it and sucking that brooding cock like I meant it. Every day I sat next to him, and every day I shook in the restraint not to touch him. I _wanted_ this strange, golden-eyed boy. I'd been trying to push the urge away, but with each passing hour of each passing day, my need intensified. He was all I wanted, all I thought about. I closed my eyes and grinned at the way his eyes narrowed and nostrils flared. So deviant. So mine.

"Ready for bed, Bella?" Embry asked darkly, swirling his tongue ring suggestively as he stared at me.

I smirked and rolled my eyes playfully. "I was just resting my eyes, I'm cool."

We played poker for hours, and just when I scooped up my chips and started gloating like a cold-hearted bitch, a soft rap sounded at my door.

"Bella?"

"Fuuuuuuck," I groaned quietly. Charlie never usually bothered me once the game was blaring from the flat screen and I had called it a night. I motioned for the guys to stand in the far end of the room while I turned the music down and threw my pink bathrobe on. I opened my door and snuck out into the hallway, closing the door before he decided to look inside. I yawned and rubbed my eyes like Cindy Lou fucking Who on Christmas morning. "What is it Daddy? I was sleeping."

"Sorry to wake you, Bells. I just thought I heard a noise up here."

"Oh, I fell asleep with the radio on, that's all," I smiled innocently.

"Okay then, hon." Charlie hesitated a moment, his eyes not quite meeting mine. "Hey, how's the first week back to school been? I've been working these damn long shifts, I feel like we haven't talked in days."

_Well Charlie, school's been fine except for biology class, where I'm expected to function and breath next to the most beautiful, most evil boy I've ever had the pleasure of feasting my eyes upon. He makes me ache and he fills my mind with deviant, sexual thoughts and I'm pretty sure if I don't fuck him soon, I'll need a padded room and a fucking straight jacket. _

Maybe not.

"It's been great!" I chirped enthusiastically. "Angela and I have three classes together and the material we're studying seems like it's going to be very interesting. I'm excited."

"That's good, Bells. Well, I'm gonna hit the sack. Billy and I are going fishing early tomorrow," Charlie explained, kissing the top of my head and walking away. "And don't fall asleep with your potpourri burning, that's a fire hazard."

"Okay. Night, Dad," I whispered.

He grunted in response and I slipped back inside my room. "Jake, your dad's going fishing at the ass crack of dawn, you all better split before then," I sighed, throwing my pink bathrobe to the floor and straightening my tank top.

Embry's eyes poured over me hungrily.

I could go for a nice romp. Or at least I hoped it would be nice. His last attempt at throwing me down had definitely left something to be desired.

_Embry crawled through my window and ripped his shirt off. I rose to my knees and ran my hands up and down his rock hard chest. I started at his shoulders and dragged my fingers down, tracing each plane of his abs. Fuck, this boy was all kinds of fine. He grunted and threw his pants and boxers off before climbing on top of me._

_Hmm, so much for foreplay._

_He didn't even bother undressing me, just ripped my panties down and rubbed the head of his cock up and down my slit._

_Jesus. I wasn't even properly lubricated yet._

"_Embry."_

_He continued slobbering on my neck, ignoring my calls._

"_Eeeeeembry," I groaned exasperatedly, pushing against his shoulders._

_He looked up at me with an annoyed expression on his face. "What?"_

"_Um yeah, you need to pet the pussy to get it to purr…Christ," I muttered in an irritated tone._

_His hand went up my skirt as he jabbed at my clit in random pushes and stuck his tongue in my mouth. Just when I was starting to rock against his hand, he replaced it with his dick once more. "Ugh!" I growled in frustration. "Just get a rubber, Embry."_

_At what point did I decide that this sex was good?_

"_Why, you're on the pill," he said in a tone that was a little too snippy for my liking._

"_I don't fucking care. Get a rubber and fuck me or go home and fuck yourself, the choice is yours." Damn, he didn't usually annoy me this much when he was about to dick me down._

_He obliged and eagerly filled me with his averaged sized dick. Hell, five inches is better than no inches, right?_

"_Fuck me harder," I groaned._

_It wasn't hard enough._

"_Harder!" I urged, wanting a proper fucking pounding. Do you know what I got instead?_

"_Ughhhhh yesssss I'm coming! Fuck Bella!"_

_Three more thrusts and he abandoned my poor pussy like a nuclear bomb site._

_What the fuck._

I shook my head of the memory, deciding that I definitely had to give Embry a chance to redeem himself. Or at least a chance to fuck any thought of Edward Cullen out of my insistent mind. "Guys, I'm not trying to be a little bitch or anything, but maybe you should go. It's been an exhausting day and I'm just royally fucked up. You mind?" I asked sweetly, biting my lip.

Sam snorted and rose from my bed, tucking the small baggie in his pocket. "Don't even try it, B. You can't fool us with your innocence shit. We'll go. It's pretty fucking dodgy that you're kicking your boys out to go fuck that Mike guy."

Jake's nostrils flared and his fists clenched. I ignored his melodramatic ass.

I swallowed back the bile in my throat. Like I would ever touch Mike Newton's shriveled dick. Not with a ten foot pole. Not even with Jessica Stanley's crab-infested pussy. Sick. Speaking of Stanley…

"Yeah, I'm out. Gotta go get my dick wet," Embry giggled his high pitched, goofy grin as he polished off his bottle.

"Dude, I can't believe you're fucking Jessica "crabs 'R' us" Stanley. You're just begging for your dick to turn green and fall off," Quil said, crinkling his nose in disgust. "Seth got a hummer from her once…ten months later it still burns when he pees."

My stomach twisted at the mention of Seth. Seth was the heart and soul of our little group of miscreants. Now he was pre-med, living the good life and avoiding the demons of his past. Namely, us. I missed him terribly, and sometimes would beg Quil, his twin brother, for details. As much as I wished he was home, I couldn't help but be proud of him for escaping the vicious circle of drugs and violence.

Sometimes I wanted out as well.

Embry just shrugged and rubbed the back of his head. "What can I say bro? I gotta get it where I can, ya know?"

At least we had our cover stories. Neither one of us wanted the rest of the guys to find out about our weekend sex. It would make things awkward and I knew Jake would fly off the handle. Embry could take him, but either way it would tear the guys apart and ultimately end in bloodshed.

My boys lined up by the window and I bid each of them goodbye. Sam kissed my forehead and told me he'd call tomorrow with plans for the party next weekend. Quil gave me a hug and told me he'd bring his special blend for me. Yum. Jake curled his huge body around me and buried his face in my neck. "Knock it off Jake, you know it's not happening," I sighed exasperatedly.

"I won't stop trying, Bella. Your ass is too sexy for your own good," he said softly, running his glassy eyes all over my body. I shoved him forcefully out of my window.

My mouth twisted in an evil little grin as Embry stuck his hand right up my skirt and wetted his fingers. "I'm going to fuck you so good," he whispered darkly, licking himself clean of my arousal and rubbing his erection against me as he crawled out the window.

I gasped in anticipation at his words, hoping like hell he would keep his word and not give me a repeat performance of thrust-thrust-cum.

Golden Eyes suddenly dominated my mind.

They never relented.

I cleaned up after the guys and pulled out the spare bottle of patron from underneath my bed. At least the Mallorys paid well for my bullshit babysitting job. Little did Charlie know I wasn't babysitting at all. I'd go over there once a week, flash Mr. Mallory the goods and leave with $40. He didn't touch and I didn't tell. It was a perfect business partnership.

I laid back on my bed and took a long pull from my bottle before lighting a cigarette. I got up and changed the CD to Sublime, because I desperately needed to chill out. The intensity of the bronze haired boy followed me home every night and hadn't let up one instant. Edward Cullen made me feel so good, and he didn't even know it. I knew I had a good fifteen minutes until Embry could escape the guys, so I took advantage of it. The night would probably be a fucking let down anyway. Why not give myself a little pale-skinned, emo boy treat?

Suddenly there was a hard naked body in front of me, messy hair in his face and evil in his eyes. I reached down and began to rub myself. I felt my arousal leak out of me as I imagined my tongue dragging along Edward's plump bottom lip. Fuck, this was more like it.

I closed my eyes tightly, gasping as I imagined that sexy fucking glare from the beautiful boy as he filled me with his cock. It was massive. Of course it fucking was. This _was_ a fantasy after all. "Edward," I groaned.

I rubbed my clit as I pictured bronze locks falling in Edward's face as he moved above me. "Faster. Fuck me harder," I cried, my eyes pulling together as I listened to the slapping sound of my saturated skin.

I saw his pale fingers fisting in my hair and yanking my head back as his teeth dug into my neck.

And then I felt him. I could smell the cool, calming scent of his skin. I could feel his intense eyes boring into me, assaulting my flesh and caressing my soul. I didn't just want his dick inside of me. I wanted him to consume me entirely, and vice versa. The sensation that took me over in that moment made me thrash against my bed, kicking off the covers and diving my fingers inside me, needing my release almost as bad as I needed his teeth on my skin. I heard a soft scraping against my window and jumped, feeling like he was there, watching me squirm in the sake of his name and his body.

I turned my head but was met with an empty view from my window.

I was just about to push myself over the edge I was dangling precariously over, but then Embry bounded through my window eagerly.

My stomach twisted in revolt as I righted my skirt.

"Getting warmed up for me, baby?" Embry whispered, yanking his belt out of the loops and throwing his t-shirt over his head. Fuck, the thought of him touching me made my skin crawl, and suddenly nothing was as I knew it to be.

It was some fucking fantasy.

Embry crawled over me on the bed and I tried to ignore the sinking sensation in my stomach, not to mention the guilty feeling that was screaming inside my head. It was irrational to feel guilt, I belonged to no one.

The moment the thought invaded my brain, I knew it was bullshit.

I was already _his_, and he didn't even know it.

Maybe he didn't even want me, but I couldn't deny the insatiable need that was quickly turning into obsession. All of this after ten minutes of finger fucking myself to images of his beautiful face. _Christ_.

Embry shoved his tongue into my mouth and twisted my nipple as I writhed underneath him. He mistook it as arousal. It was a desperate need for escape. This wasn't right. He pushed his fabric covered dick against my bare pussy and I couldn't take another minute. I sat up hastily, pushing the hair out of my face and keeping him at a safe distance with my hand on his chest.

"What the fuck Bella?" he sighed exasperatedly.

"I drank too much, Em. I'm too fucked up, I just can't…I don't know what's happening," I whispered, which was the absolute fucking truth.

"Can you at least jerk me off?" he groaned, motioning down to the unappealing bulge in his pants. That pissed me off.

"Go jerk _yourself _off, asshole," I whispered hastily. "You know, even if you weren't the guy fucking me, my _friend_ Embry should be concerned about me not feeling well. You're only worried about your stupid fucking cock. Just get out," I whispered in disgust.

He sighed and tried to wrap his arms around me. "I'm sorry, Bells. I didn't mean it, I'm just really fucking horny."

Oh, because that excused everything.

"Whatever, it's fine. Just go home now, I'm tired," I whispered, thoroughly confused and really needing to be alone.

Or wrapped in cold arms.

Why the fuck did I always imagine his skin being cold to the touch?

It didn't matter, it was all I wanted.

Embry kissed my neck and I kicked his ass out.

Once I was alone in my room, I turned the radio off and climbed into bed. I stared at the ceiling and tucked my arms behind my head. I've never gotten off from penetration with Embry. He'd either eat me out or finger me until I came. I wondered what it would be like to actually have an orgasm while someone was inside of me.

My hand drifted along my stomach and beneath my skirt as random images flashed through my mind. Once I was left alone with my phantom Edward, I was more than ready to finish what I had started. Darkening honey eyes. White teeth under curled lips. Long fingers glistening with fluid. Coldness. The hottest cold I've ever felt and didn't even begin to understand. My fingers circled my clit in heavy, thick circles before I began pumping them in and out of me. He hadn't spoken a word since the first day of school, but I'd thought about them every day since.

_Where did you move from, Edward?" Mr. Banner questioned, following the new student/first day protocol._

"_Alaska." Velvet fucking darkness. I grasped my neck as the words escaped his lips. His right hand twitched on the table top as I exhaled unevenly._

"_What will you miss the most?" Our teacher pressed on._

"_The crisp cold and the vast nothingness." Everyone around us exchanged judgmental looks. I writhed in my seat, begging for more perfect words to come from his mouth._

"_And what do you think you'll enjoy the most in Forks?" Banner asked as I stared at Edward unfalteringly, anxious to hear his reply._

_He hadn't taken a breath of air since I sat next to him—believe me, I'd been examining every aspect of him very closely. I was thrilled from the wonderment of what he was and the reasoning for why I couldn't catch my breath in his presence. His golden eyes darkened as they ever so subtly slid in my direction. The air was stifling between us. I could almost feel the thick current of electricity binding us together. It was the most mystifying and thrilling moment in all my seventeen years. _

"_Knowing where I belong," he whispered, pink tongue darting out to wet parted lips. _

And then he looked right at me.

I arched my hips off the bed and came with enough force to knock my lamp off of the table as I flailed in ecstasy and cried out his name. "He was talking to _me_," I whispered breathlessly, shuddering as the waves of numbness reached my entire body. It took me this long to realize it, but I knew with every part of my fucking soul that the last words he spoke were for me.

I knew exactly where he belonged.

I just didn't know how to get him there.

A piercing, feral growl sounded out loudly and viciously into the night. My heart beat erratically with the intensity of my orgasm and the fear of the unknown animal outside my window.

*

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*****EPOV*******

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I leaned against a tree and smoked a cigarette while my brothers devoured their evening kills. I had hunted four days ago, and that was well enough for me. It didn't thrill me to tear flesh or guzzle blood. Nothing had thrilled me in my 108 years.

Until five days ago.

Smoking did nothing for my fossilized lungs. Just a nervous habit, you could say. I couldn't feel the effects of alcohol or the soothing touch of a random narcotic. Just an eternity forced to be in a state of constant awareness. Explain to me how there could possibly be a hell more excruciating than this?

But I was recently awoken. _She_ had created a being of want and lust and need. It took all my energy to remain resting against this tree when I knew she was out there. Infuriating, beautiful, and _mine_. 916 South Walnut. I _may_ have followed her home today. I was proud of resisting as long as I had.

I didn't resent being a vampire. I resented being a defective one. I'll never forget the night I found out the full extent of my _inabilities_. It happened twenty years after I had been changed, saved from death as a result of Carlisle's big heart and genuine compassion. It was either a blessing or a curse to me—I'm still unsure. I've never taken to blood. It's not as if it tastes unpleasant or hurts when I consume it. It's as if…say your favorite meal is a juicy steak, and the only food you will ever eat is salad greens. Forever salad greens. Such is my life. Two decades in, and I was at my wit's end. If I couldn't enjoy my livelihood, then I was determined to at least have companionship. Carlisle had turned a broken and dying Esme ten years prior, and I begrudged them for the love they found in one another. I wanted my own.

I stumbled across a blonde injured girl in the alley behind our home one day. She was beautiful and that was all I needed to know. I had never killed a human before, but I was determined to make her mine. I preferred to fill myself with animal blood opposed to human because man, woman, child or goat…it didn't satisfy me. My lack of knowledge in this matter made me unsure of how to change a person from mere human to immortal monster. I decided to try my hand at the dying girl in the alley. I sunk my teeth into her neck and rolled my eyes as the balmy liquid went through my system. Like drinking warm milk on a hot day—entirely wrong. Her blood was already causing me to feel refreshed, but alas, never fully satiated. I pulled away after I was sure that enough venom had entered her bloodstream and waited. I was present during Esme's change and was aware of the signs. Erratically beating heart, screaming, thrashing, begging to be killed to escape the fiery hell we destined them to. I remembered my own as if it were yesterday.

I cradled the girl in my arms and remained patient. Her heart beat in the same lingering thumps as she lay lifeless in my hands. Clearly it wasn't enough venom. I infected her with more until I practically ran dry. I was confident that it was enough.

Nothing.

She continued to die in my arms. I became angry. I still had the temper of a newborn, I just lacked all desire and bloodlust. "What is the matter with you?" I growled, shaking her limp form in front of me.

"Edward, what have you done?"

Carlisle's soft and horrified voice floated from behind me, and I immediately realized exactly what this scene resembled.

"No, I didn't do this to her," I cried out in alarm. "She was laying here, dying. I tried…I tried to save her but I'm not doing it sufficiently. I don't understand…"

"Oh, Edward," he sighed, kneeling next to me and reaching out to feel the faint pulse throbbing against her neck. "You didn't drain her past the point of survival," he observed thoughtfully, examining her wounds. "How long did you allow the venom to enter her bloodstream?"

I shrugged, a deep tearless sob escaping my chest at the realization of what I'd done. "Several minutes. I'm sorry, Carlisle. I just wanted to be happy, to find love like you and Esme have."

He patted my shoulder and looked deeply into my now bright red eyes. "It's alright, son. There should be enough inside of her for the change to take place. I'm at a loss as to why the process hasn't begun. Let's bring her home."

As soon as we entered the house, Esme crouched and growled at the scent of fresh blood. "No, dear," Carlisle said forcefully. "She's already on her way to becoming one of us."

Her hungry eyes met mine and my face fell into my hands. I had never been more ashamed of myself. Carlisle laid the girl on the kitchen table and assessed her body once more before turning to me. "Finish what you've started, son. She'll die either way."

I stalked slowly to the table and cringed as I injected her wrists, her neck, her chest. We waited in silence. Nothing. I heard her heart start to falter and fade. Carlisle lunged at her and made his own wounds. Two minutes later, her heart was beating out of control and her body was thrashing from the burn.

What was wrong with me?

After that day, Carlisle ran as many tests as the medical world would allow, each decade allowing him further advances in his technology. To this day, he still hasn't discovered what makes my venom different from others of my kind. He's compared it to the rest of my family. It's missing a component. He doesn't know what it is. My entire being was missing a component, didn't he realize that?

The girl I failed to create for myself was the last thing I could have wanted in a mate. Instead, she became my infuriating younger sister, determined to make my existence a living hell. She's fulfilled that destiny for nearly seventy years. A number of years after Rosalie had been changed, she came across a mauled Emmett and did the one thing I was unable to do. She made herself a companion. Two decades later, Alice and Jasper joined the family, and I was endlessly surrounded with loving couples and cheerful dispositions.

I hated them all. I cared for them all. It was a very slippery slope.

I'm not who I once was. I used to be an eager boy-vampire, looking for love and completion. As the years went on I found solace in being alone. I barricaded myself from the family, burying myself in books and music and solitude. In an extensive and meaningless existence, I wanted nothing more than to be left alone and forgotten.

Now all I wanted was _her_ blood coursing through my body and _her_ legs wrapped around my waist.

I was broken out of my reverie as Emmett whooped at his successful hunt.

My mind was captured with chocolate eyes.

My first day of school in Forks, Washington brought me back to life. The second this simple little girl in modest clothing entered the small classroom, my entire psyche changed. There was something familiar in those eyes. She was anything but innocent. I wondered why she fought so tremendously to be something she's not. And then her smell assaulted me.

My steak dinner was standing before me in a long khaki skirt and cardigan sweater.

I fought with everything inside of me not to feed from her then and there. The entire class, I struggled in a vain attempt not to gape at the curve of her blushed cheek or the throb of that delectable vein in her neck. My need for her blood mixed in with another very unfamiliar feeling. Desire. The moment she sat next to me and licked her pink lips, I was rock hard and throbbing. It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before.

And I'd been painfully suppressing my urges the entire week. My reserve was slipping with every toss of her hair and lick of her lips.

In 1979, I tried to have sex with a human. I had the typical urges that any being would have, and I was curious what pleasure would feel like from an actual female rather than my hand. She got down on her knees, I filled her mouth with my swollen erection, and broke her neck with one thrust of my hips. It was the first person I had ever killed and the last time I'd ever attempted a sexual act. Alone or otherwise.

It still haunts me to this day.

I'd deprived myself of my needs since then, hesitant to attempt a physical relationship and unmotivated to try. No one made me want to bring forth my sexual urges. Now, I was suffocated by it. I was drowning in my desire for the brown haired girl. _Bella Swan_. Just thinking of her name made the venom drip from my teeth. I wanted her.

_Edward, we're talking when we get back home. You can't keep delaying this conversation._

Jasper's thoughts stirred me from my vivid memories as he stared intently at me from across the forest. Sterile venom and a miserable disposition, but at least my mind reading abilities were left intact. Well, I _thought _they were. It didn't go unnoticed by me that I couldn't hear one single fucking thought in Bella Swan's head. I couldn't dwell on it when I had more important things to concentrate on…like getting her spread bare and glistening before me.

_Don't ignore me, man. I know you heard me._

Damn, I knew I couldn't avoid my brother and his empathic gift any longer. He had been aware of my new foreign emotions all week long. Arousal. He'd been demanding to know why. I groaned internally at the onslaught that Alice was aching to inflict upon me. She was able to envision what the future held for us, and I suddenly found myself wondering if Alice already knew my fate with the brown eyed girl.

"Fuck off, Jazz," I muttered, pushing myself from the tree and running as fast as possible in the opposite direction of my brothers. I needed to be alone. No, I needed _her_. I had stayed away for five entire days. I wouldn't wait any longer.

I found myself in her front yard, listening for any indication of consciousness inside the modest home. I heard the deep snoring and twisted dreams coming from a male figure. I assumed it was her father. My head jerked to the side as I heard a quiet, high pitched whimper that could only belong to the object of my desire. Her warm, perfect blood connected with my senses immediately and a moment later I was perched at her window, gazing in. My eyes closed and nostrils flared at the sight before me. I was already throbbing from just being in the near vicinity of her, but this was just more than I could bear.

She made me want to claw my way through the thin sheet of glass in a hasty attempt to cover her body with mine. It burned my throat and my dick pulsed in needy and heavy twitches. It was torture and I was absolutely aching for more. She lay on her back, little white tank top riding up her pale stomach and precariously short skirt barely hanging on as her fingers dove beneath it and her eyes pulled together in pleasure. Blood wasn't at the forefront of my mind any longer. It mixed with something else. Something stronger. I wanted to bust through this window and claim what was mine. I wanted her hot pussy in my mouth and her fingers pulling at my hair to get me closer. I took a deep whiff, trying to drown myself in her arousal when I was met with yet another smell. It was foul, and vaguely familiar. I immediately recognized it, but knew it couldn't be true. I shook the thought from my mind and concentrated on the writhing vixen burying her fingers deep inside her. I wanted to rejoice in the fact that I was correct in my assessment—she was certainly not a good girl. The short little skirt and dirty fucking words escaping her lips told me so. Fuck, if it were possible for a human to be made for a creature such as me, it was surely her.

It made my anticipation skyrocket.

I was a selfish being by nature. No one who knew me could deny that fact. This girl was potentially the one thing that made my existence worthwhile. Her blood, her body…it touched me somewhere deep inside. Somewhere that had been permanently cold and dormant. Until now. I'd never had these urges before. _I wanted them satisfied._ Deep down, I knew it would be pointless to try and evade her. Just pressing myself against her window, inches away from the object of my salvation…I could barely fucking control myself. There was no stopping me. If I could find a way to touch, to taste the girl without taking her life, then perhaps all three of my newfound desires could be met. I thought back to the reaction she had every day in biology. I smelled the heat between her legs, I watched as she stared at me breathlessly and full of want. Oh God, If she felt even a fraction of the need I had inside…

"Edward…" she breathed, running her fingers up and down her taut stomach as she stirred.

I pressed my face against the window, my cock twitching and dripping at the desperation of her cries. _For me_. I ground my erection into the side of the house in a frantic need for relief. I hadn't experienced sexual gratification in nearly thirty years as a result of the girl I murdered all those years ago. I wouldn't allow myself any sort of pleasure after that night. I didn't deserve it and I still didn't, but there was no denying it any longer.

_She called for me._

I thrust my hips against the cheap siding audibly as her whimpered name fell from my pursed lips. Why was this happening to me? I didn't know this girl. There was no being on this earth who ever had any hold over me. Now all I wanted was this human child fulfilling my every need. I heard the wetness between her legs as she quickened her ministrations and arched her petite back off the bed. I was losing my grip on reality as the venom dripped from my teeth and down the back of my throat, wishing it was her hot, sweet liquid instead. I ran my tongue along the window in a feral, desperate attempt to get my mouth closer to her body. Fuck, it just wasn't enough.

"Faster, Edward. Fuck me harder."

I popped the button on my jeans and was ready to fuck my fist like I would her pretty little pussy. She had no idea how hard I'd fuck her once I claimed her as mine. Just as I was about to seek my pleasure and cum with the girl who defined me, the foul smell from earlier assaulted my senses in a strong wave.

There was no fucking way.

I heard quick footsteps approaching as I gazed at Bella longingly. I couldn't bear to leave her, but I knew I must. I was torn in two as I leaped from her window and took purchase in the concealment of the surrounding forest.

A tan skinned boy climbed the drain pipe leading to Bella's window, and I growled viciously at the prospect of this child viewing _my_ Bella in her vulnerable state. Her pleasure belonged to _me_ and her taste was _mine_ to consume. He had no right. He was a Quileute…he was my enemy.

I ripped a tree from the cold ground and launched it behind me as animalistic rage replaced unadulterated desire. How dare that _dog_ touch what was mine? How could she let him?

_I felt her_. She was uneasy. She didn't want him.

She wanted me, I knew it in my very core. I did everything in my power not to tear the window from its frame and shred the boy that dare cause torment to something that belonged to me.

I would be forced to do it if he didn't follow her pleas for him to leave. I would kill him with my bare hands and smile as the foul blood escaped his body. No one would ever harm her again, especially a fucking _shape-shifter_.

His scent was weak, and I found myself wondering if his transformation had even been made yet.

I waited with a baited and unnecessary breath as he asked her to 'jerk him off'. I'd happily rip his dick from his body and shove it down his throat if he so desired.

The boy—Embry, she had called him—finally took the hint and retreated. I was perched at her window the moment it was safe for me to do so. She lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling with a confused and susceptible expression. I wanted to trace the back of her neck with my fingers and bury her face into my chest.

I sympathized with her. I didn't understand these feelings either. I just needed her, there was no other explanation. Her hands slid down her slim, pale frame as I mimicked her actions, squeezing my cock through its denim confines. I slid my zipper down slowly and released my extremely swollen cock, throbbing in time to the gentle caress of her name.

Bella.

Bella.

Bella.

It was the steady thumping of her very existence that replaced the beat of my long dead heart. I felt it reverberate through my ribcage and inside of my ears. I was literally alive once more with pulse and blood and _light_…it was all because of this beautiful creature before me.

"Fuck me," she groaned, fingers digging into the skin below her belly button and pulling. Red marks formed on her flesh and I wanted to soothe them with my tongue. I half whimpered, half growled as she writhed against purple sheets and drew sloppy circles around her bare heat. I stroked myself viciously, the head of my cock slamming against the side of the house with each violent thrust of my hips. I prayed I didn't crack the foundation when we were finally able to cum together.

"Edward…"

_Fuck me, say it again._

"Edward!" Her hips rose from the bed as she thrashed and cried and throbbed. Her blood was racing. I wanted it in my throat.

Her climax washed through her with a final call of my name, and I was close. So fucking close to my first release in nearly three decades. Fuck if it wasn't going to be earth shattering. In her post coital daze, she mumbled incoherently and whimpered pleadingly--for me. I couldn't hold it any longer as my pleasure sounded out into the silence of the night. I growled and groaned as wave after wave of my fluid covered the barrier of her room. I was suddenly assaulted with two very alert consciences as I realized just how verbal my release was. I flew from her window and bolted into the surrounding woods. I ran as fast as my strength would carry me, smiling maniacally at the fact that my scent and fluid now defined her turf. Let it be a warning to all the little fools who thought they could have her. I marked my territory, and I couldn't suppress the predatory nature that was begging to be released inside of me.

I knew that if I faltered for even a moment, I'd do something I'd regret. Something I craved. Something I fucking _burned_ for. I held on to my last shred of self control, coddling it and beseeching it to get me home before I demolished my purpose. I halted as I reached the flowing river in my backyard. _She was my purpose._ I sprinted towards the porch to meet Carlisle who was waiting for me expectantly. I couldn't even bring myself to feel ashamed at the scent of my arousal or the carnal gleam in my eye.

"Can we talk?" I asked desperately.

He simply nodded as I followed him inside.

I jogged up the steps and sucked in the venom that was pooled in my mouth. It was laced with the flavor of her blood and the scent of her arousal. It permeated the air and coated my throat enticingly.

I wouldn't be waiting long.

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**Well?? How do you like our new angsty, sexy vamp boy? Call him Vampward, Biteward, or just plain Bitey…either way, I hope he pleases you. (What would you like to call him, ladies?)**

**Look for chapter two around this time next week, and also there will be a link for the Laid Bare forum over on Twilighted in the next chap. **

**To my SADT readers, the epi is on the way, I promise!!**

**Send me some reviews, guys! Reviews make me squee. Squeeing inspires me, inspiration makes me write, and writing gets you more chapters…such a wonderful chain of events, no?**

**Got questions? Let's hear them!! I love answering your inquiries!!**

**Send me your thoughts, I feed off of them like Bitey craves Bella!! WOOT! Thanks guys! :)**


	2. Succumbing

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Copyright 2009 by Brits23.**

**Story rated M for underage drinking, smoking, brief drug use and overall bad behavior. Also rated for sexual situations, lemons, and hot, steamy, angsty vampire lovin'. Not a fan? Then this may not be the story for you. Canon pairing, pretty much OOC, ExB of course…are you still down?**

**Yep, I'm posting early. I'm just too excited for my own good. WOOT!**

**So um…wow. I don't even know where to begin, guys. The reviews, the pimping, the support, it's just beyond anything I ever could have imagined. I'm glad Bitey is making an impression on you. Let's keep right on with it, shall we?**

**Mel, I'd have like 3 freaking readers if it wasn't for you. I just love you to death, you are my writing kindred spirit. *hugs* Everyone go read Breaking Trinity, although I'm already positive that you do! I mean come on, that shit is hot…**

**Isabel, I couldn't even open a word document without knowing you'd be there to have my back. Thanks for being so much more than a beta.**

**To my girls over on the LB thread, you are all dirty and perverted and hilarious and I love you in copious amounts! :)**

**Let's roll, Bitey awaits!**

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***EPOV***

The moment I sat down in Carlisle's overly priced leather chair, I immediately regretted this decision. Why should I seek his guidance or approval? I respected Carlisle, but any debate on the matter would be pointless—she was not up for negotiation, I knew that in my very core.

Carlisle shifted from behind his desk awkwardly, needlessly moving to ensure my comfort. He never made eye contact and kept his thoughts to a soft murmur. A twinge of guilt ran through me for keeping my family at bay. I hoped they realized that it was for their sake…their existence would be so much more fruitful if they didn't have the black sheep to attend to. I certainly did try to stay out of their way and keep my misery to myself.

Finally Carlisle broke the silence of the room.

"Jasper informed me of a new…emotion inside of you, son."

"Yes," I croaked.

_Is it bloodlust?_ Carlisle questioned in his mind.

"So much more," I murmured, my eyes not quite reaching his.

_Do you want to kill?_

I shook my head in opposition. "I want to own."

I was surprised by my honesty.

Carlisle's eyes widened as he rose and began pacing along his study unnecessarily_. _"Do you want to love?"He asked softly.

"I want to crawl inside of her and stake my claim."

It didn't make sense, even as the words escaped me. It was the only way to explain this…_obsession_.

"What can I do to help you, son?"

"Tell me it's possible." Even if he couldn't, nothing would keep me from her.

He stopped treading and sat in front of me on the edge of his desk, offering his thoughts to me. _I can't tell you that, Edward. It's up to you. Can you control yourself enough not to feed? If you confide in her, can you keep our secret? You must ask yourself if it's possible. You're well aware of the…repercussions if she were to find out what we are._

I fully understood the code we lived by. The Volturi—the hierarchy of our kind—forbade any vampire to reveal themselves to a human without ending them immediately. The consequences would be fatal for us, as well as the human we subjected. And it meant nothing to me. "I'll make it possible, Carlisle. In a sea of emptiness, I've finally found my sail." My dead heart clenched at the declaration that flew from my lips without my mind's acquiescence. It was true. _My God, I didn't even know her!_

A strange mixture of hope and anguish crossed over my "father's" face. He was silent for an agonizing amount of time. _If the girl brings you such joy, then let it be so, Edward._

A feral smile spread over my features.

_Then let it be so._

The moment Carlisle and I finished our awkward and rather necessary conversation, it was imperative that I feed. And not on the one I so desired. But of a hot, smelly beast that only served one purpose—my sustenance. It was nothing to live for, nothing to burn for.

But she was.

I devoured two weak and feeble deer, their heavy blood sloshing in my twisting gut like a poison. Her very presence made it even more unbearable.

_--if he only knew, if he'd talk to me--_

I heard a brief flash of internal dialogue drift through the night sky. I immediately recognized Alice's random, fleeting inner voice. "Do you really think you can hide from me?" I asked quietly, not looking forward to her onslaught, but expecting it nonetheless.

She crossed the distance between us silently, plopping down delicately in front of me and wrapping her arms around her legs. Her gaze was penetrating, and I did everything in my power not to acknowledge it. "You saw her," I accused, my voice coming out rough and abused.

_I wasn't translating Egyptian Hieroglyphics in my mind for pure sport, Edward._

"Do they all know?" I growled, tired of being ganged up on time after time by the cheerful couples of the household. Couldn't they just leave me be like I asked them?

"No. They're aware that something is off. I haven't even told Jasper, but he wouldn't ask me anyway. He wants you to confide in him. When will you realize that we all love y—"

"Don't, Alice. Please just tell me," my eyes pleaded with hers, and I resented the whine in my voice as I craved any information I could have of my newfound fixation.

Alice's golden eyes flickered back in forth in the eerie, omniscient way they normally did when she accessed her thoughts and passed them along to me. I closed my own eyes and concentrated like it was the last task I would ever fulfill. I let out an audible huff once Bella's brown eyes flashed vibrantly through her mind, disappearing just as quickly.

"I only get glimpses of her," Alice whispered in a trance. "Something is keeping me from seeing her fully. But Edward, she's your—"

"I know she is, Alice. I fucking know what she is to me. Just concentrate," I spat, running my fingers through my hair.

I folded my arms on top of my knees and buried my head as I lost myself in Alice's choppy visions. Bella's smiling face brought me to rock hard status almost instantly.

_Wide brown eyes, long hair spread out on lavender sheets._

_Biting her lip in anticipation._

_My body covering hers._

"Alice!" I barked.

She didn't even bother to look up. _You know I can't control it._

_A trickle of blood sliding along the side of her neck, over the swell of her breast, down her thigh as her eyes pulled together in pleasure._

It was fucking unbelievable.

_Bella telling Rose to fuck off._

_Alice and Bella laughing._

_My eyes, shining and unfamiliar. Happy, peaceful as I stared back into her dark brown eyes._

"Stop!" I screamed, flying from my seated position and running from the very personal sight that just invaded my psyche. There was something much too fucking intimate and terrifying about the expression on my face. That wasn't me.

Like a persistent little puppy, Alice was at my heel once more. "Edward, don't let your emotions frighten you. You'll come to understand it, with time. I wish I could show you more. I've never had these dark clouds in my mind. There's something about her, or something around her, that won't let me in." I kept my eyes glued to the ground as she put her hand on my shoulder. I jerked away from her touch. No one made physical contact with me. "Let me tell you what I do know," she whispered.

My eyes reluctantly met hers as she smiled back at me.

_She and Rose will not get along_.

I grinned wryly. As if I could feel any stronger about the girl. I silently urged Alice to continue.

_She loves her father._

I felt a strange pang inside of me.

_She will be my best and only friend_. Alice's inner voice was forceful and sad. The pang resounded in my chest once more.

_You feed from her. She craves it._

I sucked the venom from my teeth, my newest habit since that beautiful girl entered my world.

_You're desire for her body far surpasses the need for her blood_.

I dropped my eye contact, even though I had no reason to be ashamed. I knew more about the six of them than I ever cared to.

"Edward, she'll change our lives."

I certainly didn't need a psychic vampire to tell me that.

Alice sat with me for hours, asking me questions and trying to break down the brick wall I'd built around myself. I unceremoniously sent her on her way, but thanked her first. I was antisocial and bitter, but not a Neanderthal.

I thought about retreating back to the house, but decided otherwise. All that would be waiting for me were questions. I wasn't ready to speak about any of this. Maybe I never would be. It was a risk for me to be out in public today, the patchy clouds only concealing the sun part of the time. I ran deep into the woods, finding a large bear and draining it entirely. I knew I had to be damn near bursting if I planned to see her anytime soon. But that was the thing, wasn't it? When _would _I be seeing her?

I thought back to the previous night—my release, my pleasure. It didn't feel dirty or self-deprecating like I thought it would. On the contrary, it was the most amazing sensation I'd felt in all my years. I knew it was because we came together. There was something different about my surroundings when she was in range of me. It was thicker. The dull dust particles in the air sparkled mysteriously. The trees were a brighter shade of green. I felt the breeze more prominently on my skin. I had the urge to smile…among the many, many other sinister things she made me feel. Her smell kept my eyes open wider, my senses heightened, my hearing alert. When she was near, I was no longer a pathetic excuse for a vampire. I was worthy of something…maybe even worthy of her.

I looked around the wooded area I was concealed in. It was gray, lifeless, unbearable. I wanted my light again. I wanted _her_.

It had been about twelve hours since we brought each other to climax and already I craved more. Maybe one orgasm was the first crack in the dune. The pressure kept building—soon we'd have a flood on our hands.

I was eager to be washed away.

I kept an acceptable human pace as I jogged through the woods and in the direction of the Swan residence. I did everything in my power to talk myself out of it. It was mid-afternoon on a Saturday, her father was surely home. I wouldn't go to her window, in fear of being seen. I certainly wouldn't be knocking on the door and requesting her presence. So what would I do? It was obvious to me. I'd torture myself outside their grounds, sniffing the air for a taste of her skin and perking my ears to heed her angelic voice. The level of my need for her was beginning to alarm me. My skin tingled in anticipation. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen--defective vampire, pitiable shut-in and perverse stalker of teenage girl.

I was certainly quite the catch.

I settled myself on the tree I destroyed the previous night when the wolf-boy attempted to pursue my Bella. If the male Quileutes hadn't begun their changes, it was only a matter of time. Their hatred for us was laced in their genetic make-up. There wasn't a need to shift if vampires weren't present. Now that my family was back in the neighborhood, they'd begin to alter themselves for the sake of their territory. We had no reason to break the pact that we made with their ancestors all those years ago—unless Bella was put in danger. I'd risk it all for her. And I knew nothing of her but her name, scent, and the creases around her eyes as she cried out for me in pleasure.

I pulled a cigarette out of the pack in my pocket and lit it, the smoke doing nothing but appeasing my oral fixation. If I had my way, I'd entertain it with other activities in the very near future. I groaned audibly as Bella's scent wafted from her room and straight into me, my dick growing hard at the mere thought of my name on her lips. I palmed my erection forcefully, debating whether to bring myself some sweet relief or let my climax from yesterday remain a onetime deal.

There was no _onetime deal_ where she was concerned.

I threw my cigarette to the ground and released myself from my jeans, my dick heavy and slick in my hand. I closed my eyes and imagined it was her warm fingers squeezing my shaft. Her doe eyes gazing up at me as her thumb twisted around the head of my cock. I already felt the tightening in my balls as my fantasy Bella started whimpering my name, telling me she belonged to me, begging me to never leave her. To never stop wanting her. I came forcefully and silently, groaning and leaning over as wave after wave of my seed escaped me in heavy spurts. I ran my palm over the head of my cock slowly, letting the brilliant numbing sensation filter from my groin to every limb of my body. My release was satisfying, but empty. She wasn't there to bring it to life. I realized instantly that she was not home.

I tucked myself back into my jeans and walked to the front of the house. No atrocious red truck. No Fork's police cruiser. An unspeakable idea flashed into my brain.

Christ, Cullen. It's one thing to ejaculate—twice—right outside her house to thoughts of her. But to break and enter? That's sick. Fucking deranged.

_And completely necessary._

I groaned at the thought of how strong her scent would be in her room. It was wrong. So very wrong. But I had never claimed to be anywhere near right, so with lightning speed, I leaped to her window and lifted the barrier with a quick hit to the frame.

And suddenly I was standing in the motherland. Like mountains of heroin for a junkie. Like acres of cake for a food addict. Like a hundred slot machines and bags of money to a gambler. My addiction was being fed and catered to me in an exceptional smorgasbord of _rapture_. I could drink this room, lick every surface, touch every wall. Her scent owned me. This little girl fucking _possessed_ me. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that something like this could happen to me. I looked around the room reverently, eyes slitted and smile lazy as the intoxication of her body and blood assaulted me.

Her bed was unmade, her violet sheets bunched from the writhe of her body. I fell to my knees at her bedside, gripping the sheet in two fists as I dragged the cloth underneath my nose. My eyes rolled back in my head at the scent of her arousal. My lips curled upward, and I could only imagine the maniacal gleam in my eye as I crawled eagerly into the cradle that held her each night. Soon it would be my arms.

My conscience tried to break through my drunkenness. It struggled to make me realize what I was doing, rolling and frolicking in a girl's bed against her will. Thrusting my erection against her mattress as I buried myself in the thick scent of her arousal. The voice in my head was fighting a senseless battle. Nothing could tear me from the very spot where my human girl laid her head.

I wasn't acting in such a manner to be immoral or disgusting. It was simply because this belonged to me. In the way that I would give her anything she desired of me, I was claiming her territory like my own, because nothing would be mine or hers any longer. It would be ours, and I had to have faith that she would recognize this pull between us, this strange and unexplainable connection that was only ours to have. I ran the pad of my thumb over a once moist spot on the sheet underneath me. It was slightly stained and delicately coated. It leaked from between her legs. It was mine to have. I fingered it relentlessly, lifting my other hand and popping the button of my jeans once more. If this was wrong, then I would suffer the consequences.

I couldn't stop. Drowning in the girl that gave me life made me want to celebrate my newfound existence. I'd be touching myself in the sake of her name and _our_ need. My thoughts were jumbled and urgent as I submitted to the images of Isabella Swan. My orgasm approached very quickly, since my surroundings did most of the work for me. I lifted my shirt and came fervently on my stomach, rubbing the sticky fluid into my skin. It was one thing to touch myself in her bed, and quite another to cum all over her pillow.

I stood up and sighed deeply, a small tug of remorse pulling at my stomach. I shook my head in wonder at the urgent and belligerent need that occupied my brain the moment I walked through her threshold. It was unfathomable, the way this girl affected me. Now that my high was retreating infinitesimally, I was able to properly take in my surroundings.

A large, slightly older stereo system was perched upon her dresser, towers and towers of CD's covering every surface. I chuckled softly. Clearly she hadn't embraced the idea of an iPod…and neither had I. It took me at least a decade after a new fad was introduced to subject myself to it. I thrived on relating to her. Some of her musical selections were profound and beautiful. Others were brainless thugs rapping about bitches and hoes. She was such a contradiction of herself. I traveled to the opposite wall that held a large bookcase, my fingers tracing along the spines of the books as I read their titles. Poetry books from the greats. War and Peace. Moby Dick. Crime and Punishment. Emily Bronte, Jane Austen, Shakespeare…Jodi Piccoult? Stephanie Meyer? J.K. Rowling? Would I ever be able to figure out this mystical creature?

It seemed to be one extreme to the other. Heavy literature to light and fluffy words. Classical music to mindless hip hop. Saintly little Daddy's girl to drinking, sexing vixen. Who was she exactly? Did she even have a clue? She would know the moment she met me—officially.

I crouched down to the shelf in the corner. There was a picture of my human girl as a child and a middle-aged woman with Bella's smile. I traced her features over the glass. They looked so happy. There was a picture of Chief Swan wearing a pointed birthday hat, his expression exasperated as Bella laughed and poked a finger. It made me smile. The sensation of my muscles upturning in such a fashion felt abnormal to me.

The next picture settled my face into its normal, natural scowl. Bella spread across the laps of several La Push boys, smirking like a sex kitten. She knew exactly how desirable she was…her confidence seeped out of her skin. She was fucking beautiful. I suppressed the urge to crush the picture in my fist. And then her front door slammed. I froze and listened. In my reverie, I hadn't even heard her roaring truck as it pulled into the drive. I heard her keys clink as they landed on the counter and the refrigerator door opened. I heard Bella mumble something about being "fucking hungry and fucking tired." I smiled. Again. I heard her bare foot hit the bottom step and I began to panic. Do I stay and see what transpires between us? Do I flee and postpone our inevitable first encounter?

No. It couldn't be like this. I set the picture back down and climbed out her window, reaching the woods just as I heard her bedroom door creak open. I held my breath, anxious to see if she had any inkling as to what just took place in her dwellings. I heard her gasp, her perfect heart racing, her delectable blood coursing through her veins swiftly. "Oh my God," she muttered.

I wasn't prepared for what would happen next.

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*****BPOV*****

*

I almost collapsed to my knees the second I entered my room. It smelled heavy like sex. Sweet like chocolate. As luscious as arousal. Pure fucking perfection. Whatever this new scent was that permeated my room…well it made me feel like I had my little silver bullet nestled right where I needed it most. From a smell. I squeezed my thighs together as I clenched the muscles between my legs. "Oh my God," I groaned, placing my hand on my heated forehead as I landed heavily in my bed. Fuck. Fucking fuck. The smell was stronger here. What in the hell _was_ this? There was no freaking way my room was like this when I left a few hours ago. I felt my nipples harden against the silky fabric of my bra as my clit throbbed and my heart raced. Something was happening to me. And it started last night, when I finally gave into my desires for Edward Cullen.

I came so hard last night. Harder than I ever have, by Embry or my own hand. It was like every thought of him enhanced the sensory of my body. Just picturing his face made me whimper in need. I turned and lay face down in my bed, wrapping myself in the tousled sheets and burying my face in the pillow. The magical sex-chocolate scent poured through my nostrils as I greedily inhaled the fabric. Ugh fuck me…it was so good. So God damn good that I just had to bring myself some relief. It was torturing me. I'd never been affected by anything like this before. I figured that combining this smell with visions of my dark boy would prove to be fucking earth shattering.

My hand slid beneath the obstacle of my jeans and I groaned at what I felt. "Fuck," I whispered breathlessly, surprised and turned on by how wet I was. I must not have known my body like I thought I did. Something else was taking it over, telling it what it needed and making it beg and quiver for something I was unaware of.

_Golden eyes._

I was a fucking idiot if I believed I was ignorant to _him_.

I moaned as I struggled to gain friction on my wet heat. I was so drenched I could barely pleasure myself properly. I shut my brain down and just let myself _feel_. My face burrowed into the delicious pillow. My hips thrust against my mattress as my fingers struggled to give myself enough relief. There was no fucking point…I knew deep down there was only one person who could satisfy my hunger. I grunted almost carnally as I let myself imagine his body covering mine, just the way I was in that moment. His chest to my back, his erection pressed against the valley between my legs. His cold hands slipping along my ribs and underneath me. Our fingers intertwining as they slide in and out of my body. Thriving, thrusting, swirling together as our bodies moved in unison. His teeth on my skin. His wet lips on my ear, demanding me to cum for him.

My hand became urgent and my mind rampant as the incoherent words began pouring from my mouth. "Fuck, I just want you to touch me," I half whimpered, half cried. "I don't know you and I don't care, I want our bodies to fucking crawl inside each other, Edward. Nothing else matters, you own me. You fucking claim me. I'm yours. Fuck! Just take me. Just take me!" My hips rose from the bed and I grunted in frustration when his hard body wasn't there to meet mine. I felt my stomach muscles tighten and I knew I was so damn close. I shoved my pillow into my face as I groaned loudly through my release, my hips jerking violently as I rode the waves my hand and his vision inflicted upon me. "Don't make me wait," I begged breathlessly, just fucking wishing he could hear me and end this torment once and for all.

I flipped over on the bed and stared at the ceiling as I struggled to catch my breath. How long could I go on like this before I either lost my mind or fucking died from lack of...Edward?

Something had to give. And I had a lot of thinking to do.

*

*****EPOV*****

*

I flew myself backwards onto the bed I used to merely fade away on, not for sleep or sex. I ran from her the moment her orgasm exploded, fearing what I would do if I remained there any longer. I felt a deep gurgling in my empty chest and realized I was growling low and soft. My entire body was trembling as if I was overtaken by an immense cold. She had done this to me. Reduced me to nothing but a quivering, needy ball of lust.

_She did this to me._

My God, the words Bella had spoken to me. They were throaty and desperate and she had no fucking idea that I could hear her. But she was so vulnerable. She was ready to surrender herself to me, and she hadn't an inkling of how badly I pined for her. Of course I came with her again, even harder than before. I was frozen to the spot outside her window and wishing like hell I had the valor to go to her. To do what she asked of me.

_Nothing matters, you own me. You fucking claim me. I'm yours. Fuck! Just take me. Just take me!_

A strangled cry broke from my lips as she begged for me, wishing she could understand that the torment was not just for her to endure. It was mine as well. When would I have the courage to end our torture and give into what we both needed?

_Don't make me wait._

Soon, my beloved. So fucking soon would she know the taste of my lips and the feel of my skin. The thrust of my hips and the penetration of my fingers inside her body. _She had no idea what was in store for her._

For the remainder of the daylight, I stayed holed up in my dark quarters, actively imagining the combination of her blood on my tongue and her heat on my cock. My erection never relented as wave after wave of her scent invaded my senses. I took myself in hand once more and gave into my impulses, hoping that another release may downplay my insatiable need for all things Bella. The more fulfilled I was, I thought, the less chance I would inflict pain once I allowed myself to touch her. But my self-pleasure only fueled my desire, every stroke of my hard skin bringing her further inside of my psyche. As I shot my release onto my stomach, brown eyes and soft lips were the only things occupying my mind. I came so forcefully each time that it caused a deep ache to mix in with overwhelming pleasure. I hadn't felt pain in so long. All that existed was a short skirt, long brown hair and a sex-filled voice calling for only me. I listened to her pleading words over and over inside my mind. Every hour that passed made it more difficult to hang on. I'd cave soon. I'd take her. Soon.

I penetrated my hand incessantly, wishing she could feel me and celebrating the notion that she one day would.

I burned for the brown-eyed girl who would shortly learn what it meant to be mine. _She knew me. I knew her._ Our paths had never crossed and our lips had never met, and yet, we belonged to one another.

I had to see her.

I glanced at the clock on the wall. 2:04 a.m. Day and night had come and gone so quickly. Surely she'd be sleeping. I'd just allow myself the pleasure of her slumbering form and a gulp of her delectable scent. I'd never hurt her.

I'd never fucking hurt her.

Before I even processed the movement of my body, I was very nearly to her house for the third time in twenty four hours. The rain began to trickle from the sky as I approached the forest contiguous to her home. Her smell assaulted me unexpectedly. She was too close. And as obvious as the color of the sky or the sum of two and two, I knew she was in these wet woods, waiting for me. Ready for me. None of this was meant to be explained, and I had no real longing to try. For once in my dreary existence, I wanted to forgo my constant thoughts and just _feel_. Only feel and touch and crave the object of my fixation. I felt all reason and hesitation dissipate as my hunger dominated my every thought.

I ran as if I was tied to her by heartstring, following it until I was connected to her once more. I never slowed as I approached her, nor did I care to. I wanted her to know exactly what I was. I was flawed and unworldly; she was troubled and lost in a façade. We would consume each other in spite of it all.

She trembled as I took steady strides to close our unnecessary distance. Her eyes were wide and fearful. Her arousal permeated the air. It was thick. It belonged to me. She let out a small whimper as she spoke. "Why have you kept me waiting?"

A deep growl rumbled in my chest as I slowly brought my hand to the back of her neck, sliding it underneath her long damp hair. My eyes closed and nostrils flared as I felt her blood racing beneath my fingertips. My dark, feral eyes met her longing gaze, and I knew we never could have refused this moment. "I'll never deny either one of us again, beloved," I whispered, pulling her head to the side and sinking my teeth into her soft flesh.

I was home.

*****BPOV******

I came the second his teeth broke my skin. It was pain, it was pleasure. It was the glory of heaven and the burning gates of hell wrapping around my body and encompassing my mind. It was what I had been searching for my entire life.

After the whirlwind of desire in my room this afternoon, the day was filled with puzzling thoughts and an aching heart. Once I returned from the rez after my tutoring session with Jake—AKA slapping his hands away and playing guitar hero—I arrived home to an empty house. I slept like shit the night before and I was starving. However, I was ravenous for something much different the moment I stepped into my room. The rest of my day was spent yearning for Edward. I shook. I bit my lip until the skin frayed and my blood escaped. I was losing my mind from the need, the confusion, the downright lust that wasn't properly being fulfilled.

It certainly was now.

I only came out here to clear my head. I thought the air would help snap me out of my Edward induced haze and allow me to fall asleep. I think on some level, I knew he would come to me…

I whimpered and moaned as he drank from me, his mouth urgent but his fingers drawing delicate circles across the back of my neck. I held the arm that immobilized me, gripping the solid forearm that I dreamt of having wrapped around me. My eyes closed as the blood flowed out of my body and my head started to swim. "Don't kill me, this can't end," I whispered pleadingly. As soon as the words left my mouth, a strangled cry left his. I felt his cool tongue swiping back and forth over my incisions, soothing and sealing my insatiable wounds. Once the blood stopped flowing, he dropped his head to my shoulder, a steady, low growl sounding from his lips. My quaking hand lifted to run through his soft hair, and what was once a chaotic, thrilling moment was now calm and very surreal.

"Did you like it?" I whispered, stroking his hair from his forehead to the base of his neck as he gasped against my shoulder.

"Extremely," he breathed. The roughness of his voice made me push against his body in a desperate need to get closer. To crawl inside, to be consumed. We'd technically never even spoken before this moment, but I understood him from the very depths of my soul. I knew this person...this creature. His arms snaked around my waist as he held me tightly and struggled to compose himself. I ran my fingers through his hair and continued to sigh contentedly. We stood there for an immeasurable amount of time, his grip switching from tight and painful to slack and cautious. He was fighting a battle inside of himself, it was all over the twisted expression on his beautiful face. "Are you okay?" I whispered, feeling like I may as well perish if his answer was no.

"I should be asking you that question," he chuckled harshly, placing a kiss against my freshly scabbed neck. He groaned again. There was a long silence, and I needed it filled.

"I'm Bella," I breathed. My face broke into a wide grin as I felt him chuckle against me. "I know," he whispered.

I rubbed my thighs together feverishly at the sound of his voice and the touch of his cool skin. "We don't know each other," I tried to reason. Slowly he lifted his head and his pitch black eyes met mine. I couldn't decide which I craved more--deep black or golden honey.

"Yes we do, Bella. You know we do."

"What are you?" I murmured.

His hands slid down to my hips and he lifted me, carrying me backwards until my back was flesh against bark and my legs were wrapped tightly around his waist. I couldn't breathe. "I'm the one you've been waiting for. And you...." he trailed off, running his hands up and down my thighs as his lips came precariously close to mine. "...you are the one that brings me life." I groaned as his hand slid up my thigh and gripped the waistband of my jeans. "Did _you_ like it?" he questioned darkly.

_Did I like it?_ I quaked and burned and thrived for it. I _was_ a little weak, but it could have easily been from the taste of his breath pouring into my mouth, or his cold knuckles against my skin as he gripped my waistband tightly. I nodded erratically as he placed a soft and very suggestively wet kiss on my lips. "Taste it," he demanded, his tongue dragging along my bottom lip until I sucked it into my mouth. I moaned loudly around his tongue, pushing my hips against his as I tasted the coppery flavor of my blood on his skin. It was right where it belonged. In his mouth, and on his body. I slid my hand down his chest, anxious for something more, anything more. He growled against my lips as he grasped my wrist and slammed it into the tree above my head. My whimpers fell from my mouth in a steady, solid stream.

He was so cold and yet my skin burned from the pleasure of his touches. "What do you want from me?" he whispered darkly.

I told him the one true phrase that had been occupying my frenzied mind all day long. "I want to be yours."

A loud, familiar growl broke from his lips, and I immediately recognized it as the feral yell that sounded loudly outside my window last night. It was mere moments after I came more violently than I ever had in my life, until today—from his memories, his voice, his scent. He was there, watching me cum for only him. My head shot up. His scent. Chocolate and sex. He was in my room today. I moaned at the idea of what the very essence of this man did to me. In an impossible movement, he ripped the front of my jeans straight down like he was tearing paper, my underwear destroyed right along with them.

My skin stung deliciously as the denim tore from my flesh, my clit rising to attention as soon as my soaking wet pussy met the crisp night air. I tugged his hair, desperate for him to touch me everywhere, any way he wanted. I squirmed against him, urging him to give me that cold heat right where I needed it. I pulled hard enough to damage a normal scalp, to rip out human hair. He didn't budge, chuckling arrogantly at my effort.

"Please," I whimpered, my hips lifting away from the tree and seeking friction from his body any way I could get it. I grinded against the place I wanted most, causing a growl to rumble deep inside his throat. _Fuck yes_. Hard, massive and...cold? I couldn't figure out the logistics, nor did I care to at the moment. He dropped to his knees, my body rising and falling suddenly as he transferred my legs from his hips to his shoulders in one swift motion. One long finger traced my swollen pussy in gentle, reverent strokes. He made a sharp sucking sound against his teeth as he gazed at my dripping heat. "I don't know what I crave more, your blood or this," he whispered, bringing his finger to his lips and sucking it in, moaning ferociously.

"It's yours," I begged unevenly as a new wave of arousal dripped down my inner thigh. "Take it."

He looked up at me sinfully underneath his dark lashes. "That's the second time you've asked me today. You _won't_ have to again, Isabella."

I came violently the moment his tongue dragged flat along my slit.

Twice.

He barely touched me.

The more I writhed above him, the more insistent he became. "I can't stop," he pleaded, his voice begging me to forgive him. How could he not realize that the pleasure was all fucking mine? I tugged at his hair fitfully as he tasted me and sucked me between his lips. I was just...gone. Not only was his tongue cold and soothing against my burning flesh, but it felt...._indescribable_. The wetness of his mouth wasn't thin like saliva...it was heavy, it fucking tingled. It was like ecstasy for my pussy...and my mind had completely checked out. All that existed was his mouth and this never-ending need..._this could never fucking stop._

His tongue dove inside of my body, lapping at my walls as his nose pushed against my clit. The noises he made were fucking sexy and perfect. Every growl and groan that left his lips vibrated right into my sensitive skin, pushing me further over the edge. His fingers dug into my flesh as he slammed me back against the tree repeatedly. I came again suddenly, my thighs clenching around him as I urged his mouth further against me. I screamed through my release, throwing caution to the wind and swiveling my hips into his face. A sharp pain shot between my legs as he pulled at my hips to get me closer, eager not to miss a single drop that was now flowing from me freely. I hissed slightly, and his untamed eyes immediately softened when they met mine. His tongue ran back and forth over the pained area before he brought his finger up and massaged the tender skin. He looked so remorseful as he gazed up at me. "I'm sorry," he whispered, slowly lowering me to the ground. A second later he was twenty feet away with his back towards me. He held the bridge of his nose before punching a small tree in front of him. It crashed to the ground.

What in the hell was he?

I approached him from behind, knowing I should probably be scared but only feeling the need to make him okay. I put my hands on his shoulders and pressed my forehead to the middle of his back. "I don't understand it either."

He turned around and put both hands in his hair, holding on tightly to the bronze strands that I was sure would wither to dust underneath his exertion. "I don't need to understand. I just can't allow myself to hurt you."

"The pain feels so fucking good," I breathed, looking up at him underneath my lashes. His expression was playful and deviant as he ran the back of his hand across my throat. "Let's not tempt me any further, beloved."

"What are you?" I questioned once more, pulling my fitted shirt over the shredded fabric that was once my jeans. He looked down and groaned regretfully, ripping the coat off of his shoulders and wrapping it around me to cover my bare skin.

"You'd never believe me if I told you." I saw a hint of a grin play on his lips and my heart throbbed for it.

"You drank my blood." he just stared at me, and I realized I'd have to push him to get what I wanted. "Or maybe you're just some emo boy pretending to be something he's not." I smirked mockingly and turned away, my arms wrapped around my torso.

I couldn't very well sacrifice my inner bitch just because I was desperate for him.

I felt his solid chest against my back as his cold breath fanned across my ear. "You felt your blood flowing out of your body and covering _my _tongue. Don't deny me," he whispered viciously.

I closed my eyes and leaned back against his chest as the sinister tone of his voice coursed through me."Vampire?" I already knew the answer in my heart, but his silence confirmed it. "Why me?"

His palm pressed flat against my bare belly as he yanked me back and up against his solid erection. "You're the only thing I've ever wanted in this miserable fucking existence." There was a moment of silence. "I don't know why," he whispered, his voice deep but vulnerable. "What I do know is that I _must _have you. There's just no other way..."

I turned around and bore my eyes into his. "I know. I need you too." I dropped to my knees, desperate to feel that hard cock and taste anything that came from his body. I dragged my teeth along the substantial bulge in his pants and he hissed, placing his hand on my head before dropping to his knees in front of me. "No," he whispered, shaking his head.

"Why?" I murmured, feeling beyond rejected as I stared at the forest floor.

His fingers tilted my chin and his soft kiss didn't mirror his hard eyes. "Don't you dare think I don't desire you, Bella. You're all I've ever known to want." He kissed me once more and we rose to our feet. "Come on." He tossed me over his shoulder and onto his back. About ten seconds later we were through my open bedroom window. I was dizzy from the sudden movement, and my heart was thundering in my chest. I turned to face him, but he was no longer in my room.

I found him outside my window, elbows leaning deftly on the sill and his body suspended in mid air. I gasped at the emotion spread across his ungodly face. It would be impossible to explain the sensation it evoked inside me. His expression was pain, need, concern, regret. It was amorous and smoldering and unforgiving and deviant and heartfelt and honest and...I completely understood the way he felt. I dropped to my knees and laid my forearms on either side of his folded arms, his breath ceasing as my nose met his. "Kiss me," I whispered, desperate for anything he would give me. He leaned forward and pressed his lips softly to mine, neither one of us seeking our tongues because we already knew what was needed between us. "You were in my room," I whispered, my eyes searching his.

He looked at my neck as he spoke. "Does that upset you?"

I laughed softly. "Not at all. Just let me join you next time."

His lip curled slightly as he ran his index finger over my top lip. "As you wish." His eyes drifted from my neck, to my mouth and finally to my eyes. My breathing stopped the moment our eyes met. Talk about fucking intense. I felt no control over anything anymore. It was exhilarating.

We sat there for hours just gazing at each other, faces inches apart in my window sill as the night changed from pitch dark to early morning light. Not a single word passed our lips, but our silent communication surpassed all words, all gestures, and all meaning. I had never felt anything so powerful in my entire life. Hot tears began pouring down my cheeks as my eyes pleaded with his. I had no idea what I was pleading for. Maybe nothing, maybe everything. He let out a deep sigh and pressed his forehead against mine. "I have to leave now, or I never will."

"Don't," I said forcefully as his fingers caught my warm tears and slid into his mouth. His eyes rolled back and a gurgle that closely resembled a purr came from his chest. He trailed his wet finger down the side of my neck, causing me to whimper. "Does everything that comes from your body taste so sweet, Bella?"

I looked at my lap before gazing up at him beneath my lashes. "As long as it tastes good to you. That's all that matters." I should have felt some level of embarrassment from the declaration, but I only ever felt the urge to tell him exactly what I thought.

His lips finally twisted into a radiant crooked smile, and it was staggering. I felt his joy in my bones.

"I knew you'd understand," he whispered vehemently. His hand trailed down my arm until our fingers met and intertwined. He pulled me closer, his tongue lapping over the slightly sore skin where he fed from me. "I'll come back for you tomorrow night," he promised, licking my flesh once more before placing a soft kiss over my wound. An instant later, the air was empty around me, and so was I.

I would never be the same again.

*

*

* * *

**Everyone should stop by the Laid Bare thread on the twilighted forums. We are a little crazy and psychotic, but we do hand out fire extinguishers and cigarettes at the door, if that persuades you at all. Stop by, have some fun and ask some questions. I'd love to see you there.** **http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=7529&st=0&sk=t&sd=a**

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**It actually will be a week before I post chapter 3, gotta get my SaDT epi out for the world to see…I haven't forgotten!**

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**Thanks again!!**


	3. Somber Resplendence

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Hello again! The response to this story has been completely unexpected, and I am so thrilled beyond belief that you're enjoying it! Thanks to my beta Isabel for keeping me in line, and to my heterosexual life partner Mel, for bringing out the "snarl" in our Bitey. I love you, woman!!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

***BPOV***

My eyes burned as I sat at the kitchen table. My Cinnamon Toast Crunch tasted like cardboard. The milk could have been curdled and I wouldn't have noticed. And the last thing I wanted to do was go to school today.

Because he never came last night.

I was pissed at myself more than anything, for letting myself become so vulnerable and needy for another person. While the burn for Edward Cullen still smoldered inside of me, the damage he had done last night was enough to extinguish it somewhat.

Saturday night…had changed me entirely. I felt genuinely _complete _for the first time in my life. Everything looked different after he came to me in the woods. Everything felt fresh and had a vibrant new shade of color. He had claimed that I brought him life, and it was quite clear to me that it was very mutual. Sunday had been a rather peaceful day. I slept late and woke refreshed, a smile permanently plastered across my face. I missed him already. I lay in my bed for hours after, just thinking about what had taken place the night before.

_Vampire._

I had no idea what that even meant. Did he sleep in a coffin? Would garlic weaken him? Did he kill? And why the hell wasn't I freaked out about it? None of it mattered; I still wanted him despite any of the mythical logistics. I thought about the Cullens, and it dawned on me that all of them had to have been vampires as well. I planned on asking him that night when he came to me like he promised. There was plenty of time for answers, but they weren't even at the forefront of my mind. His touch. His eyes. His need for me. It was all I could think about and all I desired.

Jake and Embry both tried calling on Sunday, but I ignored them. I just needed to be alone. Charlie was in La Push watching the game with Billy, and I had an empty house to fill with my thoughts of Edward.

I finally pulled myself out of bed and showered, changing into another pair of pajamas since it was already early evening. I did some laundry and vacuumed. I did homework and forced myself to watch an episode of Family Guy. I was shaking with nerves and anticipation. At nine p.m. I turned the T.V. off just as Charlie walked through the door. We talked briefly before heading our separate ways to sleep for the night.

I locked my bedroom door and put a soft CD on as I paced my room relentlessly. Would he taste my blood again? I would let him, I wanted it. Would he touch me? I was desperate for it. But more than anything, I desired his eyes burning into mine. The rush that I felt throughout my body when he stared at me so fervently was better than any high I'd ever felt. _I needed more._

By eleven p.m. I was starting to get huffy. We both had school in the morning, and while I'd have gladly stayed up all night to be with him, we were wasting precious time. It never even occurred to me that he might not show. I had believed him from the depths of my soul. Somehow I was certain he would never lie to me.

I was a fucking idiot.

At two a.m. I sat next to my window, straining my eyes into the dark night to catch a glimpse of his pale skin. Nothing. There was absolutely nothing.

At four a.m. I threw on my sweatshirt and boots and climbed out the window, jogging into the woods like I did the previous night. I waited until my teeth were chattering and the tears were streaming down my face.

He didn't come for me.

I crawled back inside my room and dove onto my bed, cursing and grunting at what a fool I'd been. I wiped my tears and sucked it up, because I wasn't going to let myself get so upset over something like this. If some fucking emo boy wanted to stand me up, then he didn't know what the fuck he was missing. I curled onto my side, angry at myself for the deep inhales of his scent that I took from my pillow. I cried still, knowing that no matter how hard I fought against this, he owned me completely.

I thought hell would freeze over before I'd willingly cater to someone who would hurt me like this. I probably slept for about two hours before dragging myself out of bed and starting this monstrosity of a day.

I got up from the kitchen table and threw my full bowl of cereal into the sink, not giving a shit where it landed or what kind of mess it made. It would be a pain in the ass to keep up my angelic façade when I was in such a piss poor mood. Some days I wondered what would happen if I let the people of Forks know how I really was…bitchy and cynical. Today would be the perfect day to let my true colors show.

I heard Charlie start to come down the stairs, and I didn't feel like dealing with it. I grabbed my keys and backpack and hauled ass out of the house before his foot hit the bottom step. My truck roared to life as I rubbed my eyes brutally and cursed the morning air. I wanted to run inside and tell _Daddy _I was sick so I didn't have to see Edward's perfect face. No, I couldn't run from this. I was a fucking hot piece and if he didn't want me, then I needed to show him exactly what he was missing. It was too bad I couldn't wear something tight and short to school, that would really show him.

I hit my head against the steering wheel repeatedly. Could I really deny his need for me? It felt so fucking real, so why would he ditch me the way he did? I was getting a headache from all the pondering, so I pushed it to the back of my mind and threw my truck in drive.

It was muggy today. The sky was grey but the air was thick and stifling, which only enhanced my inability to breathe properly. I left early to avoid Charlie, so I sat in my truck and gave myself a pep talk in the parking lot at school, trying to remind myself that I couldn't be me when I was there anyway. I was Bella Swan--good girl, brainiac and all around sweetheart. I couldn't allow myself to be upset over my asshole vampire lover.

I slammed the door to my truck and slung my backpack over my shoulder, plastering on a peaceful expression and walking swiftly across the quad. I glanced over at his pretentious silver Volvo and snorted. Who the fuck was he trying to be anyway?

I saw two other Cullens walking in front of me. The little one—Alice—was twirling around her blonde significant other/brother? I realized they weren't related, but the school was still abuzz with the inner workings of the Cullen relationships. Talk about keeping it in the family.

I felt him before I saw him. My eyes jerked to the left and melted into his, catching me and pulling me in like a magnet. Like a hot, burning, throbbing magnet.

_Shut the fuck up, Bella. You need to squash that shit._

I turned my nose to the air and flipped my hair over my shoulder as I took my eyes away from him. I hope it didn't show how painful it was for me to do that. I smiled brightly, acting like the little angel he knew I wasn't. I would forget him, just like he had forgotten me.

He leaned against the pillar of the school, hands in black jean pockets and eyes scouring over my body. I responded to him from all the way across the schoolyard, my heart beating wildly as his eyes devoured me whole.

_Stay fucking strong_.

The closer I got, the stiffer his body became. He pushed off the building, hands twitching and legs walking swiftly as I began to cross his path. I didn't hear the sound of students or the commotion of the quad. I didn't feel Angela tugging on my arm, or the heavy breeze lapping across my skin. I was captivated by his sweet scent as it wrapped around my body. I was mesmerized by the soft mumble of his voice that miraculously traveled right into my very core. "I wouldn't have been able to stop."

My eyes bolted to him quickly before straightening out. I let out a menacing chuckle. "I wouldn't have asked you to." I had to fight the urge to touch him, because no one fucking stood up Bella Swan and got to march right back in.

I moaned as I felt his finger trace the back of my wrist when I walked by him. I jerked my arm away, rubbing over the skin he brought to life with one gentle stroke. He called my name softly, and I fought so desperately not to turn around and give him everything he wanted from me.

"Bella, are you in there?" Angela chuckled, still tugging on my sleeve.

_Ah, a mind numbing distraction._

I turned to face Angela and smiled brightly. "Yeah, sorry. I was thinking about the Trig test this afternoon. Are you ready for it?"

As we discussed homework and mundane school related topics, I felt myself sliding into my normal cover, and put Edward Cullen to the back of my mind. Which was complete bullshit, because he was the only thing I could think about. Luckily, between Angela's simple conversation and my God damn stubborn attitude, I managed to resist the urge to find him and tackle him to the ground.

Morning classes went by quickly, and before I knew it I was on my way to the lunchroom. Mike Newton fell by my side and I put a little more excitement than I normally would into our exchange. I knew Edward would be there, and I couldn't let him affect me.

Mike Newton was an annoying little shit. Not ugly or anything, but a tool in every sense of the word. He wanted me, even though I was a good girl and he got shitfaced practically every night in Port Angeles. It was probably just the thrill of trying to bang a nerd that brought out his fascination of me. If he only knew.

Angela, Mike and I walked to our table, joining the normal crew: Jessica, Lauren, Tyler, and Eric. It didn't make sense for Angela and me to sit with these people. We were into homework and mathletes, they were into drinking and partying. Lauren and Jessica were a couple of skank-asses, but they liked me because I was too sweet for anyone not to. Eric and Tyler basically pretended I wasn't alive, which suited me just fine. Lunchtime was boring and relentless, just like every day at Forks High School.

_Golden Eyes._

I felt them on me, and I refused to look up. I shook my head to clear it and pulled an apple from my brown lunch bag. My hand was shaking so violently that I dropped it, and it skidded across the lunchroom floor. I felt my face flush red and Mike made a smartass comment as I rose from the table to retrieve it. I stared down at my feet and moved slowly, because I knew what I would find. Because I _felt_ him there in front of me.

I clenched my jaw and reluctantly looked up at him as I approached. He was so fucking beautiful, his eyes so immaculately intense that it knocked the air right out of me. I inhaled rapidly, my strides faltering as his gaze penetrated me to my very core. He reached out and held my elbow as I fumbled backwards, knocked over by his mere presence. I fixed my view on the hard outline of his chest through his t-shirt, determined not to look into those golden eyes and feel the need course through my veins once more.

"Look at me."

I chewed my lip and slowly slid my eyes upward. My heart clenched and froze as he stared at me intently. "I wouldn't have stopped." His eyes were pleading with me, and I felt my resolve slipping with every word he spoke.

I had to resist.

I yanked the apple out of his hand and rolled my eyes. "You lied to me," I seethed, turning around and walking swiftly away. My eyes were stinging and red, but I'd be damned if I would cry another tear for him. I plopped back down at the table and everyone was staring at me. "Damn, Bella," Mike said in a surprised tone. "What's going on with you and the new guy? Did he spit on your apple or something?"

My face flamed again, and I looked across the room to meet his piercing stare. "No, I just think he's pompous and inconsiderate," I said through tight lips, staring right at him. As soon as the words left my mouth, he focused his eyes on the table below him. I smiled in satisfaction, even though it was impossible that he heard me.

My words didn't placate the occupants of my table. Sweet Bella Swan would never speak ill of someone, even if they deserved it. "Bella, are you alright? Did he say something inappropriate to you?" Angela asked, patting my back in a concerned gesture. I took a deep breath and calmed my nerves. "No, Angela. I think I'm just stressed about the test this afternoon. I'll be okay."

The ring of my cell phone broke me away from the questioning faces of my classmates. It was a text from Jake.

_I'm leaving school at lunch, I'm so done with this shit. Ditch with me, I'm on my way to get your fine ass. ;)_

I sighed. I normally didn't like to do this shit at school, but I needed to get away from Edward. Biology was up next, and I knew I'd cave the moment I was crammed underneath that small desk with him. Not to mention I really needed a fucking drink.

_I'm calling your cell in a few. Practice your Charlie impression for the nurse. :) Meet me in the spot in like a half hour._

I slammed my phone shut and threw it in my bag. I skipped with Jake a couple times last year. He did a spot on impersonation of Charlie, so we'd grab a bottle and hang in this secluded area in the woods outside of school. Once everyone was gone for the night, I'd take my happy ass home and no one would be the wiser. I jumped up from the table as the bell rang and put a pained expression on my face. "Ang, I'm really not feeling well all of a sudden. Can you tell Mr. Banner I'm going to the nurse?"

She smiled sympathetically and nodded her head. "Sure, Bella. I hope you feel better."

I smiled back and made my way across the lunchroom and past the office. I felt him trailing behind me, and my skin tingled. I walked into the nurse's office and fed her my lines of crap, calling "Charlie" and confirming with him that it was okay to come home. I stopped at the main office and signed out for the day before walking swiftly across the lunchroom towards the south outlet. It was oddly quiet as a handful of lunch ladies cleaned the messy tables.

I walked through the deserted hallway and just as I was about to make it to the exit, I heard the auditorium door open rapidly to my right. The next moment I was pulled inside, the only sliver of light disappearing with the slam of the door. I couldn't see a thing, but I knew who brought me in there. My heavy breaths echoed in the empty auditorium, and I felt the cold air exit his lungs and splay across my throat. My fingers twitched in the effort not to reach out and touch him, even though I knew it was a lost cause.

He backed me slowly against the wall, and I could feel his lips hovering over my skin as he pressed his forearms against the wall on either side of my head. I internally punched myself in the throat when I let a whimper escape my lips. I had to at least _try_ to resist him. "Get the fuck off me," I fumed, pushing at his solid shoulders.

A soft growl sounded from his lips, but he didn't move an inch. I continued to push, but my attempts were futile. He was so much stronger than me. I sighed in surrender. "So what, are you just going to force me?"

My hands slid down from his shoulders and rested at his hips as I allowed myself the pleasure of his touch. I probably should have kicked him in the nuts but considering his lack of mortality, it probably wouldn't have even fazed him.

I shivered as his wet lips made contact with my ear. "I'd never hurt you," he whispered, his hands slowly sliding underneath my shirt and trailing along my stomach. I closed my eyes and exhaled shakily as he pressed a soft kiss to my ear.

His hands continued exploring the skin of my abdomen, kneading and caressing as if he were trying to teach himself the proper way. "You hurt me last night," I murmured, trying not to sound like a stupid, whiny girl.

I felt his cold forehead press against mine as his breath fell across my face. "I couldn't go to you last night, Bella. I would have...." He paused, struggling to find the right words. His hands slid around to my lower back and he pushed his erection against the skin below my belly button. "I would have taken too much blood from your veins," he murmured against my lips, his voice dripping with unadulterated lust.

Even if I tried to deny his need for me before, I couldn't now. It was thick between us, I could taste it in the air. I sighed audibly as he continued. "I would have been too forceful…I..._God_, I want to be inside you so badly. I would have taken you, Bella. I would have taken you so hard, because I fucking need it so desperately. I need _you_. What am I supposed to do when I have to handle you like porcelain? I want to show you what you've created inside me. I want you to feel just how fucking bad I want to bury myself right here." He palmed my sex forcefully, lifting me off the ground with only his hand and settling me on his hips.

The silence filled the large room, and I felt like I might hyperventilate if I didn't calm my breathing soon. His cold breath entered my heated mouth as we exchanged the stifling air between us in a gratifyingly intimate way. "Say something," he growled, the reverberations from his chest traveling straight into my body.

My legs were trembling around his waist as I gripped his shirt for dear life. One last spasm of anger coursed through my body before I submitted defeat and handed myself over to him completely. I pulled his hair and leaned away from the wall, his arms supporting me as my lips came centimeters from his. "Am I really the first person you've ever wanted?" I whispered breathlessly.

His answer was instantaneous as his hold tightened around my waist. "The first and the last."

I moaned at those perfect words. The thought of him wanting anyone else made me sick to my stomach. My legs tightened around his waist as my breathing picked up. "Then don't try to stay away from me anymore."

His breathing was loud and erratic as he crashed his lips to mine. The force of it stung, and no matter how bad I wanted it just like that, I knew it was a concern for him. "Easy," I soothed, cupping his face in my hands as my tongue swept across his bottom lip. He granted me entrance with a deep groan, our tongues twisting together as the sweet taste of his mouth assaulted my taste buds. His flavor…was absolutely amazing. I moaned loudly as my tongue dove into his mouth, frenzied to get another taste of him.

He walked backwards and settled us into a seat near the back of the auditorium. I continued my feast, our mouths frantic and urgent against one another. My tongue slid along his teeth, and I winced at the sharp, stinging sensation. He pulled back and ran his tongue along the expanse of my neck as his hands went underneath my shirt. "Careful for the teeth, beloved," he whispered darkly, "They bite."

I moaned as he released the clasp of my bra. My eyes rolled back into my head as I pushed his face into my neck. "Take it," I whispered frantically, grinding myself forcefully against his erection. His tongue stroked my bite mark fervently as his hands slid back around to cup my breasts. "Not here," he murmured against my skin, squeezing my tits and thrusting his hips up to meet mine.

I was becoming frenzied for him as I unbuttoned his shirt and ran my hands all over his chest. "Then take _me_," I groaned, sucking his earlobe into my mouth and biting down hard.

"Fuck," he growled viciously, dropping his hand to the button of my jeans and popping it easily. "Not here," he moaned, his teeth sliding gently along my jaw.

I took his hand and slid it in my pants, crying out as he ran his fingers up and down my wet slit. "Edward, I need you. Just feel me," I whispered, riding his hand as his fingers worked swiftly against me. I dragged my fingernails down his chest as I kissed him desperately.

His hand slid from between my legs and he brought his fingers between our lips. He pushed me down on his hard cock and gyrated against me, hard and slow. "Taste it," he growled deeply. "Taste the way I make you feel."

I whimpered, taking his middle finger into my mouth as his index finger slid into his own. We both groaned loudly, our noses bumping as we fought to remove every last drop from his fingers. Suddenly his mouth was on mine again, and the combination of our tastes mingling on his tongue made my clit throb achingly. I felt like I could come undone at any moment. "Let me touch you," I begged softly, biting down hard on his neck. He seemed to like it when I bit, which was a little ironic.

He grabbed my ass and slid me over his cock, his other hand twisting my nipple tightly between his fingers. I cried out, arching my chest into his hand. "Am I hurting you?" he asked softly, his voice strained as I pulled myself closer to him. I shook my head fiercely, whimpering as he applied more pressure.

Just as I was about to ask and damn near plead for his cock, he spoke. "Touch me," he demanded, grabbing my wrist and bringing it to the solid bulge in his pants.

"Yes," I moaned, relieved to finally have him in my hands. I released him from his jeans eagerly, sighing as I firmly gripped his shaft. It was an odd sensation, but somehow felt so perfect to me. He was hard and heavy in my hand, but it wasn't heated like normal flesh. He was cool, and he was throbbing, and he was all fucking mine.

I stroked him up and down slowly, his fingers working my nipples as I picked up my pace. "So good, Bella. You don't know how badly I've needed you," he murmured against my throat. My other hand twisted in his hair as I enjoyed giving him such pleasure—it was more important to me than my own.

His hand left my shirt and trailed along my arm until he grasped my wrist. He took my hand and slid it inside my underwear as his tongue stroked my shoulder. "I want your juices all over my cock," he growled, pushing my fingers further inside me.

I moaned loudly, eagerly removing my hand from between my legs and saturating his cock with my wetness. His voice came out as a strangled whimper as I stroked him quickly. "You're so warm, Bella. So delectable, you're fucking _mine_."

"I'm yours," I agreed heatedly as his hand slid inside my pants and began stroking my swollen pussy. I squeezed his cock hard—too hard—as his thumb pressed against my clit. A loud growl escaped his lips as my grip tightened.

"Harder," he groaned, bringing his hand around my own and squeezing it tightly around his shaft. My grip surely would have injured any normal dick, but Edward was writhing for it. I dropped my other hand to his cock and squeezed him tightly, jerking him with all the strength I could muster. "Just like that_, fuck_," he whispered as he plunged two fingers inside of me.

His mouth rested in the crook of my neck, and I wanted his teeth in my skin. "Take it," I begged, practically bouncing on his hand as he thrust his fingers inside of me.

"I can't, Bella. I won't control it now, I'm so fucking close," he groaned, lapping at my bite. I moaned gutturally and closed my eyes as I imagined the coppery taste sliding along his tongue. I wanted him to have it almost as badly as he wanted to take it.

His fingers were slamming into me hard, and I wanted to scream. Loudly. I fought the urge, laying my head on his shoulder as I stroked him rapidly with two hands. "I'm gonna cum," I whimpered, desperate to just let it all go.

He hummed in acknowledgement, and I felt him twitching in my hand. His fingers curled inside me and I muffled my cries against his shoulder as my orgasm shook through me in violent waves. He followed right after me, growling and cursing as he thrust his hips into my hands. His cool liquid covered me, and I sighed in exhaustion. His fingers massaged gently along my slit as my breathing came back down. "Was that too hard?" he murmured softly, placing kisses along my jaw as he shivered against me.

"No," I whispered, slowly letting go of his throbbing cock. I really wanted to taste him. I leaned in to kiss him on the lips before dragging my tongue flat across the top of my hand. Just as I suspected, he tasted sweet and delectable, just like the flavor of his mouth. I moaned as I cleaned him from my hands, savoring every drop as if it would be my last.

"Do you like the way I taste?" he whispered, pulling me against his chest.

"You taste sweet," I breathed, kissing him slowly before attempting to climb off of his lap. He held me in place. "Just a moment longer," he whispered, pulling my legs back around his waist as his arms encircled me.

I felt the tears slide down my cheeks as I buried my face in his neck. I let out a harsh chuckle because I fucking _hated_ bawling…I despised letting myself become so susceptible. But I was crying for my uncontrollable need for him. For the fact that he needed me just as much. I cried because Embry had never wanted to hold me after we messed around. I thought it was just for movies and romance novels, but Edward embraced me tightly as his breathing fell to a steady pace. He wanted to hold me…he thought I was worthy of that. I wiped my eyes before sliding my hands around his neck once more.

"Why are you crying?" he whispered, trailing kisses along my collarbone.

"So many reasons," I sobbed, struggling to get closer to him. "This is everything I've ever wanted, and I don't even understand it."

His arms tightened around me as he placed soft kisses along the side of my face. "You are my purpose," he whispered intensely.

I sighed as I gave into the moment, holding onto Edward for dear life, and reveling in the soft sounds of desperation we expressed for one another.

_It would never be enough._

_*_

***EPOV***

*

I worshipped the girl in my lap, trying to show her in every way I could that I would no longer be in this world without her.

I'd never experienced such a thing. It frightened and exhilarated me to no end. She was overwhelmed as well. Her warm tears soaked my bare shoulder, and I soothed her in any way I knew how. I was new to this whole "caring" thing, after all. But I did care for her. I cared for her far more than my measly existence, or the subsistence of anyone else for that matter. She occupied my entire world, and I felt myself falling desperately and eagerly into the abyss.

_It would never be enough._

It nearly killed me not to go to her last night. As soon as evening fell, I went hunting with my brothers, trying to take any precaution I could to control my hunger for her. By the end of our feast, I was downright animalistic in my need to get to her. I rushed home and changed my attire, bloody and torn as I took my pent up energy out on the unsuspecting beast in the woods.

Once I was changed, I ran my hand through my hair and paced my room, every inch of my body shaking in my need to take her. To fuck her. To drain her. To dominate her completely. I had managed to stay in control during our first encounter—for the most part. It was just the oddest sensation. I wanted to slam her viciously against that tree and take my teeth to her dripping pussy. Truth be told, I wanted to tear her up. But another strange sensation took me over. It made my stomach twist in nerves and excitement. It made me very cautious of her well-being. That foreign feeling is undoubtedly the only thing that kept Bella Swan alive last night.

I thought back to the combination of her blood and the taste of her soaking wet sex. I punched a hole in my wall as I paced the room. I was frenzied, and even before Alice came knocking on my door, the realization had hit me.

I wouldn't be able to stop.

I opened the doorway, my sister's fist in mid air and ready to knock. "Edward, I—"

"I'll hurt her, I know." I pulled violently at my hair before punching another hole in the wall to match the other. "Alice, I need her so badly. I need to take her, I need her blood, I need every fucking inch of that human girl to be _mine_!" The desperation was thick in my voice and I felt like I was losing my mind.

Alice pushed me down to the bed and sat next to me. I didn't even shrug out of the arm she had around my shoulders. "Edward, you can't go tonight. You already know that things will end…badly. Promise me you won't go."

I exhaled unevenly. "I can't hurt her, Alice. But I don't know how I'll manage to stay away."

_I'm staying with you tonight_, my sister's thoughts informed me.

She did stay with me, and something unbelievable happened—after all these years, I finally let her in. We talked about everything, quite literally. It was more than I had spoken in the last fifty years, I had no doubt. I felt uncomfortable confiding in her, but I was standing on the edge of a very precarious cliff. It was either form a bond with my sister or murder the only thing that has ever given me light and meaning.

We discussed Bella for hours. How vital it was for me to control myself, knowing that if she were destroyed, I would not be far behind. I told her that Bella was friends with the Quileutes, and Alice was frustrated that she hadn't seen them around her. Finally, as the foggy morning light shined through my curtains and the night had turned to day, my sister said one final thing to me.

_I'm going to show you the vision that brought me to your room in the first place, Edward. I've been keeping it from you because I wanted it to conclude…our discussion. It's going to hurt you, but I'm confident that it will keep you in control. _

I nodded, and Alice's eyes began moving rapidly back and forth as her visions started to enter my mind.

_I saw myself climbing through Bella's window. Her eyes were shining and she was so happy to see me. I seemed joyful as well, but my eyes were…strange. They were black, and slightly crazed. It wasn't me._

_I climbed over her and kissed her roughly, tearing the fabric of her pajama pants from her legs. "I need to have you. Tell me I can have you," I demanded. Her face contorted in pain as I dragged my teeth down her neck._

"_Of course you can," she whispered softly, her hands running through my hair. "I want you to take me."_

_Her words sent me into a fit of savage euphoria, and I removed every piece of clothing from her body. She didn't seem to mind, but she told me to wait as she fumbled with my shirt._

_I growled, slamming her wrists into the bed as I released my cock from my jeans hastily. "I can't wait," I spat, thrusting inside of her quickly. She cried out, and yelled at me to fucking take it easy. _

The rest of Alice's vision was so horrendous; I only caught bits and pieces. I pushed my fists against my eyes as each sight made me recoil in disgust.

_I took too much blood. Her face was excessively white and it was twisted in pain._

I hurt her, so badly.

_I thrust into her rapidly. I heard the crack of her pelvic bone._

I didn't stop.

I was fucking sick.

"Alice, don't show me another fucking thing," I begged between tight lips, sinking to my bed and wishing it would swallow me whole. "I can never see her again," I whispered, my voice just a ghost in the night. Alice sat next to me and stroked my hair.

_I told you it would hurt, Edward. But you can see her again. I want you to think about everything I just showed you. And I want you to remember those visions every time the need for her becomes too overwhelming. _

A sob broke from my lips as I pushed my face into the pillow. I could never fucking let that happen to her, but I knew that I could never stay away either.

_Pull yourself together and go to school, Edward. Think about how much you value Bella's life. I know you'll find a way to control yourself. You'll figure it out, but you need to include her. Work through it together, she'll keep you grounded._

I sat up slowly and nodded my head, determined to do exactly as Alice had said. I looked up at her with thankful eyes, trying to wordlessly express how much I appreciated what she'd done for me.

_You don't have to thank me, Edward. This is all so new for you. But I'm happy you confided in me. I knew you'd come around!_

Alice's inner voice was so blissful, and I felt a pang of guilt at the idea that a relationship with me had meant so much to her. I had denied her for so long.

Slowly, Bella climbed off my lap, and the loss of her body heat pulled me from my memories. I was reluctant to let her go, but I figured we'd pushed our luck as far as it would go this afternoon. Realistically we could have easily been caught. It meant little to me. I smiled widely, realizing that this was something I'd be doing now. Smiling. Laughing. Revering. I managed to stay in control. I didn't hurt her, even though I desperately wanted to taste her blood. She offered it to me twice, and I willingly refused. I could do this, I was positive of it—that inkling of hope made my anticipation soar.

She rose and stretched, her legs trembling and threatening to give way. I sat forward on the chair, massaging the muscles in her thighs as her hands rested on my shoulders. She sighed in contentment, and I hoped I was using the right amount of pressure--I was still learning how to control it. I buttoned her pants and reached up to clasp her bra before rising up and tucking myself back inside my pants. Honestly, I was ready to have another go—the sight of her licking my cum off of her hand was more erotic than I ever could have imagined.

We gathered our things and walked towards the exit. Bella stopped and placed her head against the door as she sighed unevenly. I wrapped one arm around her waist and lowered my mouth to her ear. "You are exquisite," I whispered, kissing her softly.

She turned to face me as her back pressed against the door. I couldn't help my wandering hands as they went under her shirt once more. "Are you going back to class?" she murmured, her eyes timid as she stared up at me.

I kissed her chastely on the lips. "I can't even remember my name, Bella. Academics are simply out of the question."

I grinned as I heard her soft laughter. Grinned was a bit of an understatement. I positively beamed at the sound of her mirth. My mind shot back to the giddy, joyful expression I had on my face in Alice's initial visions of Bella and I. There was no point in letting it alarm me. It was there, and I couldn't stop it, nor did I want to. I had to choose to embrace it rather than cower from it. And embrace it, I did. "I need to come with you," I demanded in a whisper.

She nodded and smiled before opening the door a crack and peeking out slightly. "Coast is clear," she murmured, looking at me with a wry gleam in her eye. We walked quickly outside as Bella fished through her backpack and pulled out her phone. "Shit," she grumbled, throwing her phone back in her bag.

And then I smelled him.

He was close, and I looked around swiftly. He was nowhere to be found. A Quileute mongrel…and not the one from the previous night. I knew she was friends with a whole pack of them, and I needed to stake my claim. "Something the matter?" I questioned, trying to remain in control.

"Eh, not really. I was supposed to meet a friend after I attempted to escape you in biology," she winked, bumping me with her hip.

Here's my chance.

I pulled her back against my chest as my hands sat on her hips and my mouth pressed against her ear. "There's no escaping me, Bella. You're _mine_," I growled, lapping over the irritated bite I left on her two nights ago.

"Let's get something straight," she said forcefully, turning around and pushing her finger against my chest as her smoldering, playful eyes burnt into mine. "First of all, you're _mine_."

I chuckled, leaning down and kissing her deeply.

_Who the hell is that mother fucker?_

I suppressed a growl as I scanned the grounds over her head. He could see us. "Second of all?" I whispered, my fingers aching to rip off her jeans just like I had in the woods.

"Second of all," she said breathlessly, distancing herself from me, "I can't do this shit at school."

_Fucking bitch!_

I nearly ripped myself from her side as this vile excuse for a human dare call my Bella such degrading names. I wanted to kill him, I wanted to destroy him. But I knew if I abandoned her in a fury, she'd misconstrue it as anger towards her. I couldn't risk that. After I fucked up yesterday, I really had to mind my P's and Q's.

I winced as the word "whore" drifted into my mind, and I pulled Bella into her truck quickly, needing to get out of there immediately before I went out there to find him. I leaned into the truck and pushed her hair away from her shoulder as I tasted her bite mark. "Well, I don't understand why you try so hard to be something you're not. The real you is rather astounding." I kissed her on the lips and slammed her truck door as I walked towards the Volvo, my eyes scanning the perimeter rapidly.

"Meet you in your room," I called to her, grinning in satisfaction as I heard a loud yell come from the surrounding woods.

_She's mine, Dog._

_*_

***BPOV***

*

He was in my room before I was, and I sighed at the perfect sight. The truth was, I was fucking exhausted. After no sleep the night before, followed by the hottest 2nd base action known to man, I certainly needed my rest. He was spread across my bed, head in hand and a smile plastered on his face. I could tell he wasn't used to smiling, and I hoped to remedy that. His smile was beautiful. Everything about him was.

I kicked off my shoes and crawled in next to him, laying my head in my hand as his lips met mine gently. "I'm so tired," I whispered, my eyes opening and closing lazily as I smiled at him. His brows furrowed in concern as he laid back and snuck his arm around me, pulling me down to him. "Rest, Bella," he murmured, brushing the hair away from my face. I snuggled into the crook of his neck, inhaling a deep scent of his soothing skin. So perfect.

"Do you feel chilled when I hold you like this?" he questioned, tightening his arm around my waist.

"No," I laughed, dragging my nails across his stomach. "On the contrary, you make me rather hot."

His body shook as he chuckled against me. "Well, thank God for that. I mean, are you cold now?"

"No," I whispered, sighing and snuggling into him further. "You feel nice. Just rest with me. I'll set my alarm so you can leave before my dad gets home."

I reached behind me, and he grabbed my hand. "I don't sleep," he said softly.

_Um, what?_

"You don't sleep?" I questioned incredulously.

"Not at all," he murmured, a sheepish smile covering his face.

"Well, can you turn into a bat?" I asked quietly, playing with the soft chest hair that peeked out the top of his shirt. He laughed heartily at my question, which warmed me to my very core.

"No bat transformations. Sorry to disappoint," he spoke softly, kissing the palm of my hand.

I grinned and rolled my eyes, obviously not disappointed that he couldn't turn into a flying rodent. I threw my arm around his stomach and kissed his neck. "Can you just…talk to me while I fall asleep? I need you to tell me everything about you. Tell me the truth about vampires. I need to know."

He kissed my forehead and laid back on the pillow as he began explaining everything about himself. His lack of bloodlust before me, the way his skin reflects sunlight, the family that he cares for but thinks he doesn't deserve, how old he was when he was changed, what he was dying from when he was human, how to create a vampire…he went on and on.

He explained how normal venom changed humans into vampires immediately, but his was missing a component. I mumbled against his skin that the missing component was me, and he chuckled softly. He said he whole heartedly agreed. He explained his gift of hearing thoughts, telling me that I was the only person he couldn't hear. I was too tired to ponder that one. Once he told me everything I needed to know about what he was, I was beyond exhausted. Edward kissed me once more and told me to sleep, humming a sullen and haunting tune as I drifted into subconscious.

**

The room was notably darker and painfully empty when I woke up. He left me, but the slam of the front door told me why. I turned my bedside lamp on, looking for a note or anything to prove to me that this afternoon had been real. When I leaned over, I heard a soft crinkling noise in my pocket. I retrieved the folded note from my jeans and smiled at the beautiful hand writing I recognized from biology.

_Bella,_

_I'll be back tonight at precisely ten p.m. All I'm able to do is promise you this and hope that you'll believe me. I'll never deny either one of us again, beloved._

_I can't express how sorry I am for yesterday, nor how much this afternoon has meant to me. There are no words. I'll be back as soon as I'm able, and I won't be content a moment before the clock strikes ten._

_I've never felt happiness before, Bella. You've changed me so irrevocably._

_Edward_

I crushed the note to my chest like a lovesick fool. I was so torn inside. On one hand, I had no fucking tolerance for this emotional shit. On the other…I wanted it so badly. I reread his note a few more times, smiling and reveling in his significant words.

Okay, so maybe the emotional shit wasn't _all_ bad.

Charlie knocked on my door and I went to answer it, pulling my bed head hair into a ponytail. "Hi, Daddy," I said happily. I shocked myself…I didn't have to fake my joyful tone. It was alarming to say the least.

"Hey Bells," he said excitedly, almost as if he knew my cheerfulness was genuine. "You ready for the diner?"

"Yeah, I'm starving," I groaned, meaning that as well. A mind blowing orgasm from a vampire will definitely peak your appetite.

***

The diner was relatively empty when we walked in, and I groaned internally as I saw the Newton's nestled into the booth in front of the one we were directed to. Fantastic. Mike kneeled up on the seat like a five year old kid. "Hey, Bella. Missed you in biology. Are you feeling better?"

Fuck.

Fuckity fuck.

"Bella, you weren't in biology today?" Charlie questioned. I glared at Mike and his eyes went wide as he slowly turned and sat back down.

"No, Daddy. I was feeling a little sick after lunch, so I laid down in the nurse's office for awhile until I felt better," I said sweetly, hoping this would be enough to mollify him. Luckily, the waitress came over at that moment, and I practically dared Newton to mention the fact that I wasn't in gym either. He'd meet the real Bella the hard way. Fist to face.

The rest of our dinner was peaceful, the only interruption being a hurried goodbye from Mike as he and his family left. Stupid fucking Newton. It was pitch dark out when we left the diner, and I was anxious to go home and wait for _him_. Ten wouldn't come soon enough.

I grumbled under my breath when I saw Jake's car as we pulled up to the house. I never called or texted him back, which was a pretty shitty thing to do considering he was the one who asked me to ditch. My dad clapped Jake's back as we approached, and asked him how school was going. Being the Chief of Police, my father knew of Jacob's…shortcomings. Despite his troubled behavior, Charlie still cared for Jake like a son and encouraged me to tutor and persuade him to become a better person.

As sad as it made me, I knew it was a lost cause. "Hey, Jake," I said softly, offering him a small smile.

"Bella," he said curtly, nodding his head in acknowledgement. "Mind if I talk to you for a minute?"

Charlie waited for me to agree before he went into the house and left us alone. Part of me didn't want him to leave. As soon as the door was closed, Jacob's temper reared its ugly head. It was worse than normal. He looked unhinged and nearly delusional. His fists were clenched and the sweat was pouring off of him as he trembled in front of me.

"Jake, what's wrong with you?" I asked softly, trying not to sound like a total bitch.

"Who the fuck was that guy you were with at school, Bella?" he seethed.

The hair on the back of my neck stood up, and I knew Edward was here somewhere, listening, watching. I felt it deep inside of me.

I turned back to Jacob and suddenly felt very angry. "None of your fucking business, Jacob Black! What's it to you anyway?" I spat, feeling my face heat.

"You fucking ditched me for him, that's what," he whispered viciously, fists tightening and shaking.

I rolled my eyes and surrendered a bit. That _was_ a pretty bitchy thing to do. "Fine, I'm sorry for that, but you need to chill the fuck out. If you're playing at this jealousy shit again, it's a lost cause. I don't feel that way about you; it's just not gonna happen."

His expression softened as he reached out to place his hand on my shoulder, brushing my hair behind it. His skin was so hot, practically burning to the touch. Something was very wrong. His eyes went livid the moment he observed the red bite mark on my skin. I adjusted my hair quickly, looking down at the ground and shoving away from his grip.

"What the fuck is that, Bella?" he yelled, reaching out and shaking my shoulders once. I said nothing, just shrugged out of his grip once more. "_What the fuck is that Bella_?" he roared, his hand gripping my upper arm so tightly, it made me wince in pain. His teeth were bared and his entire body was shaking. I was truly frightened of him in that moment. I'd never seen him like this in all the years I'd known him. I mean yeah, he was annoying with his never ending pursuit of me, but he was usually a carefree, happy kid. This wasn't him.

"Fucking let go, you're hurting me," I snapped, his grip still burning my skin. "Jake, you're skin is on fire, what is wrong with you?" I gave up being pissed at his douche bag behavior and concentrated on the fact that something was very wrong with my friend.

He finally let me go, his eyes falling to the ground below."I...I'm sick. I mean, I _think_ I'm sick. I just...need to get the fuck out of here."

He ran to his car quickly, and I called after him, ready to drive him to the hospital myself. He ignored me, peeling out of the driveway and out of my sight. The moment he was gone, Edward was in front of me. I smiled, happy to see him sooner than ten. He didn't return my grin. His eyes were black and his nostrils were flared as he gripped my shoulders tightly. "Are you all right?" he asked forcefully, his eyes burning into mine.

I sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine. It was my fault anyway. I stood him up this afternoon, but I'm worried about him. His skin was so hot to the touch, and he just wasn't acting like himself."

"Is he someone you're fond of, Bella?" Edward questioned, eyes hard as he waited for my reply.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Jesus Christ, why don't you two just piss on me already and get it over with!"

"Are you fond of him?" He repeated vehemently.

I rolled my eyes once more at boys and their politics. "He's a friend, so yes," I said in an obvious tone.

"I very nearly killed him, Bella," Edward growled, pinching the bridge of his nose. "So help me, I want to fucking tear him apart for the way he treated you. If he would have hurt you...."

I sighed, running my hands underneath his shirt and tracing the defined planes of his abdomen. "He didn't hurt me, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't kill him…even though he pisses me off all the time. I can handle myself, Edward. I know you want to protect me, and for some reason I actually like it when you do. But when it comes to my boys, they're harmless."

Edward pulled me around the side of the house, my eyes squinting to adjust to the sudden darkness. "Just promise me you'll tell me when you go with them. I'm not the boss of you, Bella, but your "boys" are changing every day...just promise me," he whispered, lowering his mouth to my neck and sucking the skin into his mouth.

I wanted to ask what that little comment meant, as well as what exactly he knew about Jake's asinine behavior, but I was too distracted by his tongue lavishing my body. I looped my fingers in his belt loops and thrust my hips against his. "Fuck. Fine, I promise."

He lifted his head and I kissed him eagerly, our tongues impatient to be reacquainted as he groaned into my mouth. He broke away and pulled back to stare deeply into my eyes as he licked his lips."Can I taste you tonight?" he whispered, lowering his mouth to my neck as his tongue lapped at the reddened flesh.

My hands drifted down to the bulge in his pants, and I squeezed forcefully. "If I can taste you..."

"I'll tell you why you can't," he said softly. His eyes closed in pleasure as his hand covered mine, causing me to rub him more forcefully. Edward growled loudly and slammed his hand against the siding above my head. "Stay home from school tomorrow and I'll fuck you all day long," he growled sinfully, his hand firmly gripping my backside as he assaulted me with his mouth.

"You aren't going to fuck me tonight?" I whined, already worked up and desperate for his touch as I stroked him through the fabric of his pants.

He pushed the hair out of my face and dragged his teeth softly along my throat. His eyes were dark as he looked up at me from underneath his lashes. "We need to be alone, Bella. I'm going to make you scream, make you beg for my cock, make you lose your fucking mind...I'm going to take you every way I can think of. I want you trembling, writhing, whimpering underneath me...not something your father can be present for, is it? He's coming, by the way," he murmured as he took my hand away from his straining erection.

Suddenly I heard the front door creak open. "Bella?"

Edward licked my lips suggestively before seeking my tongue out of my mouth and stroking it with his. "I think it's bedtime, beloved."

The next moment, he was nowhere to be found. I walked back into the house slowly, severely aching for Edward Cullen and fervently awaiting ten p.m.

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**Guess what happens in the next chapter? Hehe...**

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	4. Too Far Gone

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Sup ladies! Sorry for the delay. My internet decided to up and die, so I've been offline for nearly a week. It's been rather traumatizing to say the least. But, I'm back! **

**Thanks to Isabel for telling me what's lacking and keeping me true to these characters. Love you, woman!**

**And to my girl Mel…you keep on being the wall, my friend, and Bitey will continue to rub up against it. :D Love you!**

**And here is chapter four of Laid Bare. Just a warning...many many sexy times ahead...Enjoy!**

***BPOV***

The air was stifling in my room. I had a thin layer of sweat spread across my body as a few loose strands of hair stuck to my damp forehead. Well at least I _looked_ sick.

I was anything but.

_Stay home from school tomorrow and I'll fuck you all day long._

The anticipation burned inside of me.

A cold tongue woke me from my sleep at 6:55 a.m. It started at my knee and ran up my inner thigh. It dragged across my wet slit and left too quickly, diving into my belly button before tracing the shape of each rib. I groaned so deeply, I probably sounded like a tortured soul.

But wasn't I?

He continued the trail of discovery with his tongue, running along the swell of my breasts and around the swollen peaks of my nipples. He never said a word, just kept his trembling hands planted firmly on my hips as he feasted upon my skin. I kept my eyes tightly closed, trying to remember that my father would be getting up in mere moments, and sound would carry loudly through the quiet early morning hours.

"Look at me," Edward whispered darkly, the vibrations of his deep tone sending chills to every surface of my body.

"No," I pleaded softly. "I'll cum the second your eyes meet mine."

"Look at me," he growled once more, his tongue on my throat and his solid cock pressed firmly against my thigh.

"No," I whimpered, my hand flying to my forehead. "I'll scream. _Fuck_, I'll scream so loud."

His fucking tongue did this to me. He completely owned my body.

He growled softly, his mouth leaving my neck and reattaching to my ear as his cool body slid over mine. I cried out in shock as my legs were suddenly pushed up and his cock was nestled securely between them. My eyes flew open to meet his, and I began shaking violently. His eyes were black and uninhibited. His breath left his lips in shaky and uneven sputters as he slowly slid his cock up and down my wet heat.

"Do you want this?" he questioned through tight lips.

I was so far gone. I had no way of knowing if this was even real. One minute I was dreaming about his cock, the next it was right where I fucking needed it most.

"Yes," I begged, not caring about the consequences it would bring. He dragged the shaft of his cock heavily along my slit, every inch of him bringing me an intense surge of pleasure throughout my entire body.

His mouth was mere centimeters from mine as his hips pushed against me with a steady, purposeful thrust. "You're going to cum all fucking day long, beloved."

"I'm going to cum _now_," I cried, tears threatening to fall from my eyes in the effort to hold onto it.

He pulled his cock away from my clit and jerked himself slowly against my entrance, his knuckles hitting my swollen skin with every stroke.

"You're going to cum when I say you can cum," he whispered viciously, his eyes full of sin. I sucked in a ragged breath as the head of his cock circled my entrance. He teased me relentlessly, and there was only so much more I could take. My trembling hands gripped the sides of his neck as the tears finally spilled from my eyes—I couldn't even begin to describe how desperately I needed him inside me in that moment.

"Bella."

My name on his lips was like an erotic melody, demanding me to succumb to his every need. I opened my eyes slowly, not even realizing that I had closed them again. He kissed me gently, his eyes staying focused on mine as he gauged my every response to him. "Bella," he repeated. My legs tightened against his hips at the sound of his voice.

I was hot, I couldn't breathe, every inch of my body was on fire…aching, begging, desperate to explode.

Edward's entire body began to shake violently as he thrust himself harder against my dripping pussy, but never entering me. Never giving in. He put more weight on my body, his hand slipping under my shoulder blades and holding me tighter. "Give it to me. Cum all over me, right fucking now," he groaned, his movements becoming chaotic and frenzied as I felt the heavy spurts of his liquid cover every inch of my throbbing pussy. The head of his cock slammed against my clit, and the world came crashing down around me. His mouth covered mine the moment my passionate screams broke from my lips. He swallowed them whole, his crazed groan pouring into my mouth as he stilled my flailing body against him. I came so fucking hard it hurt me. The pleasure ached inside of me like a raging inferno—I never wanted it to stop.

A string of incoherent whimpers fell from my lips as I tried to grasp reality, struggling not to literally become unhinged from the rampant waves of ecstacy that assaulted my body. I was going mad, the satisfaction he inflicted upon me was just too fucking good to be true.

My thighs trembled around him as his hips jerked into me randomly, slowly coming down from our shared euphoria. I heard Charlie's bedroom door open and the bathroom door slam as the shower turned on.

_Holy fuck._

Edward climbed off of me slowly, and I couldn't even sit up with him. I lay in bed like a pile of mush…unable to move or think or even breathe. It all started from a small stroke of his tongue. This feeling would never cease to amaze me. I watched lazily as he slid on his black boxer briefs and his black jeans. I threw my leg across his lap, the only energy I could exert into getting him to stay. I was just fucking spent, there was no other way around it.

He chuckled, lifting my leg and kissing the top of my foot before looking over his shoulder and smiling crookedly. Christ, that emo boy and his magical fucking face would be the death of me.

Don't even get me started on the wonder-cock. Vampire be damned—there was only one thing unworldly about Edward Cullen, and that was his ability to make me cum like a wild fucking banshee.

He stood and threw his t-shirt on, my mouth forming a pout as the soft trail of hair beneath his belly button disappeared before me. It should have been illegal for him to wear clothes…he was absolutely breathtaking. He crawled over me on the bed, his hair falling against my forehead as his nose pressed against mine. His smile was genuine, his eyes were dancing. I started to believe that I was changing him, and I prayed that was what he truly wanted. "I can't move," I whispered, a giddy chuckle escaping my lips.

He continued to smile as he gathered my hair in his hands and laid it above my head, allowing him access to my neck. "You're bite is almost healed," he murmured softly against my skin. "We'll have to remedy that today."

I took his hand and ran it down my body until it rested on my inner thigh. "Isn't there a major artery right here?" I breathed, smiling as I felt his fingers tapping a steady rhythm against the very vein I was speaking of.

"You want me to take you right here?" He whispered intently, his fingers massaging my skin hungrily.

"Yes."

He grabbed my hand and brought it to the bulge in his pants. "And where do you want _this_?" He kissed my neck as his fingers traveled to the ultra-sensitive skin between my legs. "Here?"

"Yes," I cried softly.

His fingers slid lower, gently tracing my ass as he watched my expression closely. "Here?" His voice was barely a whisper.

I'd never even thought about it before, but there was no question to what I would do for him. "Yes," I breathed, my eyes closing as his mouth captured my lips passionately.

His hand slid up my stomach and between my breasts before resting over my rapidly beating heart. "You'd do anything for me, wouldn't you?" he murmured, the tone of his voice full of veneration.

I swallowed thickly as his eye contact began to overwhelm me once more. "Anything."

He sighed deeply and leaned down to kiss my ear. "Good girl," he whispered, his tongue flicking my earlobe before he lifted himself up and climbed off of my bed. He walked towards my window and raised it inaudibly before taking one last long look at me. He shook his head and was hovering back over me before I even had time to blink. I giggled, which was fucked up because I didn't giggle unless I was faking it. "One more taste," he whispered, his tongue entering my mouth and dragging along mine in a slow, lazy pattern. I groaned as he broke our kiss, placing one more chaste kiss on my lips. "I'll return in about an hour, once the coast is clear," he said softly.

I nodded and gripped his t-shirt tighter, not wanting him to leave even for this short amount of time. He stared at me ardently, and I knew he was aware of my dismay. He leaned down and kissed my nipple before pressing his lips to my ear. "This day is ours…I won't leave you again once your father departs." He kissed my neck as my arms tightened around his. "Soon, beloved," he whispered, his cool breath causing goose bumps to rise along my skin as his hand slid down my body and rested on my hip. "And don't you dare shower while I'm gone. I want you smelling like me when I return." The next moment he vanished, my curtains flapping in the breeze and a heavy sensation of loneliness creeping up my spine.

I smiled widely and stretched my arms over my head. "Good morning, Bella," I chuckled softly.

***EPOV***

I leaned against my faithful fallen tree and let out a large huff. If it were possible for me to be exhausted, now would be the time. I used to curse the days. Frustrated and angered that morning would turn to night and never seemed to relent in its consistency. Over and over, a new day would rear its ugly head, never granting me a moment of respite or escape from this meaningless world.

Now there weren't enough hours in the day. Weren't enough moments to touch her body. Not enough minutes spent speaking her name and basking in the scent of my very salvation. Not enough time to watch her tremble from my touch. Would I ever be fully satisfied?

On the contrary, I suspected that I would be entirely satisfied….and soon.

I closed my eyes and replayed the last 24 hours in my over-stimulated mind. I had experienced more emotions in one day than I had in my entire lifetime. Fear of losing her after I broke my first promise made. Unfamiliar sentiment as we gave into our primal urges in the auditorium. Longing for her in the few hours we were apart. Anger at the disgusting dog that Bella associated herself with. And then…nothing but pure wonder.

_I came through her window last night the moment I heard her father fall into a deep sleep on the sofa. After the rage I experienced at her "friend", I needed something to calm me. I needed her, and as selfish as it was, I needed her to show me that I was the only one she wanted. She was curled up on the floor next to her window, captivated in a book that I didn't recognize. She was beautiful. I felt my dead heart clench again, and was beginning to wonder the true meaning of its reaction to her. _

_A soft sigh of surprise left her mouth as she rose to greet me. Her face was peaceful and happy. She looked so joyous to see me. I would never understand it, but would thank any higher power I could for her adulation. I was worried she'd be upset over the actions of Jacob, not to mention the state in which he arrived on her doorstep. His transformation had begun, and this would not bode well for Bella and I. Her brown eyes gazed up at me, and I could no longer allow myself to be dragged down by the potential actions of a pack of shape-shifters. Not when her heart was racing for me, and her eyes were shining in all their glory. She would have my full attention—for eternity, if she so desired._

_She took my hand and pressed it to her heated cheek, closing her eyes and sighing at my touch. My frozen heart clenched once more…it may as well stay puckered every second I was in this girl's presence. Her fingers intertwined with mine as she pulled me towards her bedroom door. I once again cursed my inability to read her thoughts as she dragged me along. I knew I could discuss it with Carlisle, but I hadn't been home since Alice and I had our conversation. I'd just as well live on the fallen tree outside Bella's window, as no other place would bring me more comfort than that very spot-apart from her chambers, of course._

"_Where are we going?" I whispered softly, not wanting to chance stirring her father._

_She peeked out her bedroom door and listened for the grumbling sound of his snoring. She turned her head to face me and smiled. "He's dead to the world. Come on."_

_She pulled me into the small bathroom and lit four large candles that were set around the bathtub. I admired the curve of her backside as she turned the water on and the tub began filling. I couldn't stop myself from walking up behind her and holding her hips against me. She straightened out and leaned back against my chest, the top of her head resting against my chin as she sighed deeply. "What is this?" I whispered, my hands coming around to lower the zipper of her sweatshirt._

_Her hands went to my wrists as she rested her entire weight on my chest. "I just thought it would be less…messy…if we did this here."_

_I slid the sweatshirt off of her shoulders and gripped the fabric of her tank top in my fists as I chuckled softly. "Bella, do you honestly believe I would waste a single drop of your blood? I would never allow myself the displeasure." My hands slid under her tank top and I pulled it over her head, moaning when my palms came into contact with her erect nipples. She turned to face me and my eyes devoured her bare skin for the second time in one day. This time her shirt wasn't awkwardly raised above her chest….every inch of her upper body was exposed to me, and she was absolutely radiant._

"_My eyes are up here, vamp boy," she said in a snarky, soft tone. _

_My eyebrows raised and my lips parted in surprise as she looked at me with a quirked brow. I took a step closer and dragged my fingertips along her bare back, my eyes burning into hers. "Is that all you wish me to do tonight…gaze into your eyes?" I questioned, my voice cracking as I leaned in closer to her lips. _

_Her playful expression disappeared as she stared at me intently. "No," she whispered, pulling up my t-shirt and lifting it over my head. "I want you to touch every inch of my skin tonight, because when you take me…when you finally make me yours…I want you to know me so well that there will never be a doubt in your mind who this body belongs to."_

_My hands tightened on her hips as she declared herself to me. I felt the monster inside of me begging for its release. Pleading with me to take her in the animalistic way that would be sure to injure the only person who mattered. Bella. She was my purpose. Fuck, she said such things to tempt me! She offered herself to me, knowing just as well as I that there could be no other way. I slid her pajama pants off of her hips and was met with silky soft skin. I swallowed heavily and told the monster inside to go to hell. Nothing would jeopardize the well-being of my Bella. The girl who so willingly accepted me…who understood and shared this indescribable need just as well as I. Nothing or no one would take her from me, especially the demons inside myself. "Bella." I whispered her name as she stepped out of her pants and unbuttoned my jeans._

_Like worshipping at a sacred altar, I dropped to my knees. I pressed my face into her stomach and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her to me….struggling to pull her right inside of me. I tasted the salty flavor of her abdomen, slightly sticky and heaving as her breaths escaped her rapidly. Her fingers tangled in my hair as my hands ran along her delicate spine, acknowledging how easily it could be snapped by my hand, and positive that I would never let it come to pass. I've never had more control than in that moment. Her body was something to be revered. She was mine. I would never hurt her._

_I placed one more kiss to her stomach and sat back on my heels, studying every inch of her skin adamantly. My finger pushed against the mole above her hipbone. I traced the line where the soft hair between her legs began, following its trail until it disappeared. I turned her around and explored her back, my hands memorizing every muscle and every crevice. I caressed the curve of her ass and down past her thighs, leaning forward and placing a kiss on the soft skin. My hands slid around to her front, fingers splayed across her ribcage as I rested my cheek on her lower back. My eyes drifted closed and peace washed over my body. I was calm and at ease—for the first time in my existence._

_I opened my eyes when I felt Bella bend to turn the water off. She squeezed my hands in a silent plea for me to join her. I was reluctant to move from my magnificent resting spot. I finished disrobing and took her hand as she stepped inside the steaming bath. I crawled in behind her, a soft groan sounding from my lips at the soothing warm water and the slippery feel of her skin against my own. The night continued as such. Our wet hands sliding along every surface of our bodies—learning, memorizing, owning. A silent, powerful conversation transpiring between us, much like our first night together at her window. I never did taste her as we comingled in the bath, because the exploration of her body was so much more tempting than even her delicious crimson liquid. That, and I so desperately wanted to drink from her when my cock was buried deep inside of her. Tomorrow. I was losing my virginity tomorrow, and my nerves were not even present. How could something so right ever go wrong?_

_We shared nothing but soft kisses and gentle embraces, until she turned around and straddled me in the bath. Her hair was in a messy bun at the top of her head. Her cheeks flushed from the heat of the water. I nearly took her right there. Instead I pleaded with her to let me bring her pleasure. The look on her face when she came had been so prominent in my mind, even more so when it was by my hand. My fingers slid between her legs reverently, my carnal urges buried for the moment underneath the joy her shining eyes brought me. She reached down to touch me and I refused her, imploring her to let me take a moment that was dedicated entirely to her. It meant more to me than any throb or twitch of my body. She came with a heavy and intense little squeak, her arms squeezing my neck as her thighs clenched around my hips and her walls captured my fingers inside her glorious heat. A cry fell from my lips as her pleasure surrounded me—such a perfect moment had never existed before, and I suddenly wondered how an empty shell of a being could feel so exuberant and alive. She did this to me._

_When the water turned cool, we rose from the tub and drained it of its contents. We wrapped in towels, gathering our clothing and slipping into her bedroom. Her father was none the wiser as he slumbered on in the lower level of the house. Once in the darkness of her room, I began to dress and she stopped me. "I need to be bare with you."_

_Her words meant so much more than flesh to flesh, and I understood completely. She was asking for naked bodies, unguarded minds, and entire hearts. I felt alarmed every time the word 'heart' entered my thoughts. I had no idea of what to do with it. We crawled into her bed, bodies pressed tightly together as we admired each other in the soft glow of the moonlight. With a kiss to my chest, she finally asked the question I was waiting for. "Why won't you let me put my mouth on you?"_

_I looked down at her and brushed a strand of hair from her face. "Are you sure you want to know?" She nodded and I continued, terrified of how she would react to my horrific behavior. "A few decades ago, I attempted that very sexual act with a human woman. When her lips wrapped around me, I lost control and I…I snapped her neck. I killed her."_

_Bella's expression was neutral as she continued her questioning. "How many people have you killed?"_

"_One," I whispered shamefully._

"_How many women have you been with?"_

_I was silent. Another question I was dreading. "I haven't been with any. I've already told you, Bella. You're the only thing in this world I've ever desired."_

"_You must have wanted the woman who attempted to blow you," she whispered, her eyes glued to my chest as her fingers twisted in the soft hair that covered it._

_I stroked her cheek and lifted her face to look at me. "Of course I've had sexual urges, Bella. There's still a man somewhere inside of me. But she was nothing to me. Just a curiosity I was eager to have filled. I didn't want her. I didn't need her in the way I need you." Bella's eyes softened and I continued. "I feel so much remorse over taking her life for my petty needs and foolish actions. Murdering her will haunt me until the day I'm granted leave of this earth, but I won't romanticize the situation. I used her, and I killed her. Is this the kind of being you want to associate yourself with?" I whispered, my eyes breaking from hers and refocusing on the ceiling above._

_She crawled up my torso and placed her hands on either side of my neck. Her expression was fierce as she spoke. "Yes," she whispered, her eyes burning into mine. "You are good….and I know you think you're not, but you are. And you are worthy, Edward Cullen. You are worthy of family, and happiness and fucking life. When will you realize it?"_

_I pushed the hair out of her face and ran my hand down her back, holding her tightly in place, never wanting her to leave the spot again. "If I ever deem myself worthy of those things Bella, you will be solely responsible for it. Of all the things you've given me in these few days together, beloved, the most prominent is hope. You've given me hope."_

_She clung to my chest and I felt her warm tears drip onto my skin. I knew deep inside that we were both changing with every moment we spent together. We gave each other the components we were missing. She gave me humanity, and I gave her the knowledge of where she belonged. _

_She fell asleep in my arms as I gazed at the ceiling, reveling in the warm, slumbering miracle covering my body, and struggling to come to terms with each new emotion she evoked inside of me._

_She would sigh contently every so often amongst her steady breaths. My eyes never left her body, my hands never stopped touching her skin. By 6:55 a.m., I couldn't take it another minute. She'd been calling for me all night, clutching herself tightly against me…and I needed her. I wouldn't wait another moment._

_I woke her up with my tongue on her skin, knowing full well I couldn't penetrate her while her father was in the house. I buried myself between her legs, never entering her but allowing myself a taste of what was to come. We both came silently, intensely, and the quiet moments after our release had made me feel so calm, it was very nearly impossible to leave her._

_She told me she'd do anything for me…absolutely anything. I knew right then and there that this human girl was mine to keep, mine to protect, mine to worship. We were involved in something so far beyond our control, so far beyond our comprehension that it was nearly frightening. All we could do was hang on tightly as we traveled blindly into this magnificent, uncharted territory. _

Bella's voice from inside the house broke me from my confusing and brilliant memories.

"I think I just need to sleep it off, Daddy," she said, her voice raspy and pathetic. I smiled at her acting skills. I would be shocked if he actually believed her, but he _did_ buy the good girl act. Part of me wondered if Charlie knew more than Bella was aware of.

"Well, maybe you should go to the doctor, kiddo. I've heard some great things about that new Dr. Cullen." I grinned widely as Bella's heart rate increased appealingly.

"Maybe tomorrow, if I'm still feeling sick. I just need to get back to bed, Daddy. My head is pounding and I really need to sleep," she whined.

…_sure she's all caught up on homework anyway. Might as well let her rest…_

Her father's thoughts drifted into my psyche and I knew we were in the clear. Chief Swan called the school and finished getting ready for work, taking an excruciatingly long time. The second his police cruiser disappeared around the corner, I was sliding through her inviting window.

***BPOV***

I knew it was stupid to be worrying about what to wear when hopefully he'd just be ripping it off of me anyway. But still, I wanted to look nice for him. Finally I gave up and just threw on a pair of black lace boy shorts with a matching tank. I stood in front of my full length mirror and took a good hard look at myself.

I was barely recognizable.

My finger ran along the lace at the top of my tank top before drifting along my stomach and tracing the sliver of exposed skin at the bottom. I took a good look at my eyes, wondering at what moment they became so vibrant and satisfied. And my mouth…when did it begin to turn up and smile like this?

_Golden eyes._

He did this to me.

My heart began beating rapidly and my eyes jerked from my mirror image into the reflection behind me, showing me the pale and radiant boy standing in front of my window. His lips were pursed. His eyes poured hungrily over my body. His hands twitched at his side. I blinked and he was behind me, fingers splayed across my stomach and lips attached to my shoulder. He looked up at us in the mirror from underneath his lashes, his eyes focusing on his fingers as they curled against my skin and pulled me tighter against him. He looked amazed as he stared at us intently.

I rested my head against his chin, my eyes closing at the overwhelming sight of us. We looked fucking perfect together. He let out a deep exhale and my eyes opened to meet his in the mirror, his chest rising and falling rapidly against my back. "Look," he whispered, his cool breath fanning along my neck and causing me to moan audibly.

My trembling hand lifted from my side and covered his hand on my stomach, our fingers interlacing as he groaned softly behind me. "What do you see?" he murmured gently. My fingers tightened around his as I struggled to breathe, struggled to stay upright at the sheer intensity of this moment. Before I could answer, he walked us forward urgently, our joined hands slamming against the mirror as his arm wrapped around my waist. "Tell me," he pleaded, his lips against my ear as our eyes enveloped each other in the mirror. "Tell me what you see."

I swallowed thickly as the erratic breaths poured from my lips. The longer I stared at his ravenous expression, the more difficult it was for me to contain myself. I was losing control. "I see fucking everything. I see sex, and blood, and pain and life…I see the fucking _meaning_. Fuck, Edward, I can't explain-" I drifted off in the middle of my desperate rambling, unable to describe something that surpassed all words and definition.

He shushed me softly, his chest heaving as his eyes continued to smolder into mine. Slowly his hand began to drift lower as he spoke. "Do you want to know what I see?" he hissed in a haunting tone. I whimpered in response as his hand drifted to the waistband of my underwear, and he continued. "I see a monster who wants to tear your flesh, crossed with a man who wants to worship the ground you walk and the air you breathe." His cool fingers slid underneath lace and spread my wet pussy, diving in to feel the affect he had on me.

"Please, please, please, please," I mumbled incoherently, my eyes fluttering closed as I lay my head against his neck. His fingers curled inside of me and I cried out sharply as he continued. "I see the meaning as well, beloved. In those fucking endless brown eyes of yours." He leaned us closer to the mirror as his tongue dragged along my jaw line. "I won't hurt you, but I'm gonna pound that sweet little pussy until you lose your fucking mind. Until you scream in rapture, Bella….tell me you want it," he demanded, his fingers pulling at my underwear and ripping them from my skin with one snap of fabric.

My eyes fell heavy as I watched him release my hand on the mirror and rip the shirt over his head. I felt another wave of wetness cover his frantic fingers at the feel of his hard chest against my back. His hand covered mine again, fingers squeezing and pushing as I thrust my hips against the other. "I want it," I begged, my ass grinding fervently against his engorged cock. "Fuck me right here. I want to see my blood on your lips. I need you to fucking take me, Edward. Don't stop….just fuck me now…I can't wait anymore," I groaned, my need ready to overtake me once and for all. His lip curled and his eyes narrowed as a deep growl reverberated through his chest and right inside of me. My tank top was torn from my skin a second later.

At a torturously slow pace, he dragged his hand from between my legs, drawing a trail of shiny wetness from my swollen mound to the curve of my hip. His arm came up around my neck and trapped me against him as he buried his fingers in his mouth. His eyes closed at my taste, my hand snaking around and tugging frantically at the catch of his jeans. His wet fingers captured my wrist and slid it down to cup him as he popped the button I was working so desperately at relieving. He slid his jeans off of his waist and kicked the remainder of his clothing away as my hand replaced denim with cold, hard flesh.

We stood naked in the mirror, our pale skin pushed together in need and absolution. Our eyes devoured each other as he snaked one arm around my waist and lifted me. My hand immediately reached behind me to wrap around his neck and I gasped as I felt him guide the tip of his swollen cock precariously close to where it was meant to be. Our fingers tangled against the mirror as I held on for dear life, the anticipation of his cock nearly rendering me unconscious. He ran his tongue along my bite mark and his grip was firm, nearly painful against my hip. "You'll tell me if I hurt you…and you'll cum the fucking second my teeth break your skin."

And with that he slid inside me, cool and solid and _home_. My legs scrambled to grip his upper thighs tighter, my ankles holding firmly and my heels digging into hard skin. I laid my head on the mirror in an attempt not to perish from the feel of being entirely complete. He slid out of me slowly and slammed back in, the head of his cock crashing against my barrier and sending my body into a quivering mass of pure need. "Open your eyes," he demanded in a strained voice, his mouth hovering over the flushed skin of my neck. His thrusts became hard and purposeful as he crushed me against the mirror, the cold surface making my nipples painfully hard. His hand slid from my waist and cupped my breast, his fingers pulling and squeezing my skin as he slammed my hips against the glass.

I groaned at the slap of our skin and the sound of our sloppy wetness giving and taking. There was only one thing that was missing. I pulled his hair roughly and urged his lips against my neck. "Now," I whimpered. "Right now."

A sharp snarl broke from his lips and his eyes flashed in rapture as his teeth tore through my delicate flesh. I screamed and clenched around his dick, my orgasm assaulting my body with one unforgiving wave of raw, unadulterated pleasure. I fell apart around him, my arms and legs falling limp as he crushed my back against his chest. His tortured cry sounded against my skin as he carried me to the bed, my face falling into my pillow as his cock slammed me into the bed. He was massive inside of me, stretching and molding me into his perfect sheath. We were created for existing inside each other, there was no doubt any longer.

His fingertips dug into the soft flesh of my chest—it ached and yet it wasn't hard enough. I wanted more. I wanted him to ravage me until my skin was torn to pieces and my bones were withered to dust. I wanted him to fuck me until I didn't exist any longer. Into obliteration. It would never be fucking hard enough.

My cries were ravenous, my body spasming and jerking as he pounded my swollen pussy just like he promised. I gave and gave as he lapped every drop of blood from my neck and covered his cock with my hot juices. I wanted him to take more. His teeth sank farther inside of me as I moaned loudly, his cock swollen and pulsing as he shot his release inside of me. His cries were guttural and wild as he pulled me tighter against him, my body squeezed painfully and not close enough to his.

His cool breath relieved my smoldering skin as he soothed my shredded neck with his tongue. I groaned intensely as I let the numbing sensation creep deeply between my legs and spread across my neck. His fluids left me tingling, aching, writhing for more. He slid out of me slowly, a painful groan escaping his lips as he disconnected from me. His hands were gentle as he slowly turned me over and settled between my legs.

His face wore as many emotions as the first night he gazed at me in my window sill. My wobbly hand rose to stroke his chiseled jaw and he gently rubbed my nipple with his thumb. I gasped as I felt him harden against my inner thigh, his hips moving slowly as his eyes narrowed in pleasure. "Give me more," I pleaded breathlessly, my fingers sliding from his jaw to his plump bottom lip. I swept my finger against his crimson stained flesh, capturing a smear of blood and bringing it to my lips.

With a throaty moan, he plunged back inside of me. His expression was painful. "I'm hurting you," he choked, his eyes clasping in regret and horror. I gripped his hair and pulled him to me, our lips twisting and gasping for air and life. "It's not enough," I whispered against his mouth, my hips lifting off of the bed to bring him deeper inside of me. I swallowed thickly at the taste of copper and salt on his lips. I liked it…it terrified me.

He moved in me gently, his hips swiveling and eyes anxious as we disappeared into each other. "Relax," I whispered, my fingernails fighting to dig into his lower back as I sank into the feeling of his throbbing cock pumping gracefully against my sensitive walls. What once was frenzied and needful was now slow and curious—we reveled in the feel of our bodies, swollen and wet and _together_.

I felt a warm trickle along the side of my neck and he immediately dove for it, sucking it into his mouth and groaning in the way someone fully satiated would. His hips became forceful against mine as a soft growl rumbled in his throat. "Tell me to stop," he begged, his hands sliding around my lower back and holding me tightly to him. It was too tight, but it pained me to tell him so…I needed it just as badly as he.

"Don't stop," I whispered, gripping his biceps securely as I exhaled deeply in pleasure. "Just feel me, Edward. You'll know when it's too much." I opened my eyes slowly and gasped when they met his. They were so different...they were…_fucking beautiful_. I reached up and traced the skin underneath his eyes. "Did I do this?" I murmured breathlessly. "Your eyes, they're amazing." I stared relentlessly, mesmerized by the speckles of red amongst honey and gold. He was breathtaking, even when I thought he had reached his limit. I felt tears welling up in my eyes—I was a part of him now. I was deep in his eyes, buried in his body, running through his veins. _I was a part of him_.

"Bella."

His wavering voice broke me from my reverie. His fingertips traced my cheekbones and ghosted over my lips before splaying over my frenzied heart. "Just stay with me, Bella. Stay with me, because I will fucking destroy myself if I cause you any harm. Stay with me."

I slid my hands up his back and grabbed two handfuls of hair, pulling him down to me and tasting my blood on his tongue. "I'm here," I whispered against his lips. "Talk to me, Edward. Tell me what you feel."

"You're so warm," he groaned, crashing his forehead against mine. "I'm burning inside you and I need it…fuck, I need it too much."

He pushed his head harder against mine and I winced, running my fingertips along his temple. "Easy," I soothed, urging him to lift his forehead from mine. His frantic eyes met mine, like he was desperate to make sure I was okay. "I'm fine. Just….God…keep fucking me, just like this," I moaned, clawing at his back in a frenzied attempt to get him closer, and knowing if he did, my body would be crushed into nothing. I realized this would be the sweet torture of giving myself to him…never knowing what it felt like for him fully let go. I couldn't think about it now. I just wanted to close my eyes and feel the coolness of his body sliding inside me, gliding on top of me, squeezing me tightly. He soothed me to the very depths of my soul. I groaned unevenly as he placed soft kisses on my bite over and over, shaking as the tingling sensation of his venom spread across my body. This was the closest to heaven I'd ever get…and probably the closest to hell, but it didn't matter anymore.

I listened to the steady breathing of the boy, the man, the monster above me, fighting with himself in order to keep me safe. Forfeiting to his conscience in his need for me. Nothing made sense…fucking nothing did. I needed him like the sky needed the sun and the moon needed the stars. The realization was horrifying. It was life-altering. I began trembling violently against him, a deep sob building in my chest and threatening to burst its way through. I didn't know myself anymore. I don't cry like this, I didn't fucking feel with this intensity and smolder with this _life_. But if I didn't know _me _anymore, then why was I alive for the first time? Why did I feel more comfortable in my own skin than I ever had before? Why did I look at my body in the mirror and feel like I was beautiful? Why was this happening to me?

He looked into my eyes, hand sliding down my arm and pushing our palms flat together as I felt him throb inside of me with each careful stroke. He looked down across my quaking body, his eyes hardening in fear. "Talk to me." He looked surprised at the words that fell from his lips. My nails pushed against his back, hard enough to shred human skin…thank God he was immortal…thank God he was mine.

"I—" My hand flew to my forehead as I struggled to find the words. "I will never survive if you leave me."

He slid his other hand down my arm, bringing both or our palms flat together as he stared at me…really stared at me. "I'm bound so tightly, beloved," he whispered deeply.

I let free the relentless sob, curling my fingers in-between his and begging, pleading with him to fill me with his cum. I wanted more, I wanted it all. I wanted every part of him.

His arms slid beneath my lower back, wrapping around themselves and clamping my body tightly to his solid form as I felt him twitch and fill me with cool, tingling spurts. Our foreheads pressed firmly together as our cries poured into each other's mouths-they were desperate. They were tortured. They were enamored. What would I do now? What would I do when the thought of him not touching me felt like the end of the world? What the fuck would I do _now_?

I don't know how long he held me like that. Buried inside me, arms wrapped around my waist, face burrowed in my neck. Neither one of us moved. We just _felt_…we tried to understand what to do, how to bear it.

Finally, when the sun painted the walls a deeper shade of orange, he slowly climbed off of me and fell to my side. He rolled me against him, running his fingers from my shoulder, to my back, across my hip and down my thigh, repeating the pattern for hours as our eyes told stories that our voices were unable to.

I finally spoke the question that was replaying in my mind over and over again. "What will we do now?"

He picked up my hand and ran his tongue slowly across my wrist as he stared at me thoughtfully. He rolled closer and pressed his lips to mine. "I don't know _how _to feel, Bella. Do you understand that? The twists in my stomach and the clench of my frozen heart, I'm unable to comprehend what it means. I owe you so much more than this feeble explanation, but I'm unsure. I've never done this. I've never _cared_."

My heart rate picked up at the words that sounded faintly like rejection. Rejection that would end me…and so very quickly. I started to panic and he placed his hand over my heart.

"I can only tell you what I know," he said softly, eyes running rapidly across my face. "And I know that _this_…" he trailed off, running his fingers between my breasts and down my stomach. "…is something I can never do without. Something that I will murder for, beloved. Listen to me," he growled, leaning further over me and burning his gaze into mine. "I don't know how to give a heart, or how to touch a soul. I only know that your well-being is more vital than this wretched world or any of its occupants. I only know that I will be with you every moment I'm able to, because there's no other way. We were made to exist together, Bella…I don't know _why_."

I blinked back my tears and held his neck tightly. "It's enough for now," I said forcefully before softening my tone. "Okay? It's enough for now."

We held on tightly until my human habits could no longer be ignored. I felt nauseous as I walked to the bathroom, empty without his skin and his pale fingers and golden eyes speckled in crimson. But something else overshadowed it all…a strange sense of euphoria. This wasn't easy, nor did it make an ounce of fucking sense, but Christ, it was pretty God damn amazing. And what kind of an idiot would I be if I got all angsty about finding a person who made me feel this way? 90% of the female population ended up with the Mike Newton's of the world. And I had an Edward Cullen. Who could ever bitch about that?

I walked back to my room leisurely, a small smile playing on my lips as I took in the beautiful creature on my bed. His strong forearm was thrown over his face, one leg bent at the knee while his ever prominent erection lay back on his chiseled stomach. He was art…he was fucking magnificent.

When I entered the threshold of my room, he turned to me in a blur and sat on the edge of my bed, watching my every move. His brows pulled together and a strangled groan left is lips as I approached him.

My smile faded.

***EPOV***

Why would she let me do this to her?

I just couldn't control my mind or my actions any longer. I had no idea what was going on inside me, and it was nearly driving me mad. When I entered her room, I was an animal. An animal ready to pounce and take and _own_. It was urgent and desperate in the way I claimed her, delicate body crushed against glass as I slid inside her and lost myself in the sensation of my first taste of heaven. Our eyes never left each other's in the mirror, and I watched in fascination as she writhed for me and moaned for me and came for _me_.

I took the heat from her body and brought it inside myself. She made me feel human…like maybe I could one day sort the mess of contradictions inside myself and be what she needed. The feeling of her clenching my cock, knowing that a part of me was _inside_ her…what more could I ask for, now that I knew what life could be?

I took her blood.

I took substantially more than I had before. I watched her reflection as the pink left her cheeks and her glorious body turned paler by the guzzle. I watched her brown orbs in the mirror, concentrating on the _person_…the _life_ that held us both together. I knew in that instant I could control the bloodlust. But could I control the need to slam my cock inside her, to crush her underneath me, to squeeze with brute force?

I didn't know.

We moved to the bed and something immeasurable happened. Something astounding and foreign. I was hurting her and I knew it but she wanted it. What could I do? Each time I came in her was like completion, proof that she was mine. Confirmation that she would forever be.

And what would I be for her, in this hypothetical forever? Would I be her husband? Would I love her? Did I even want to? Would I watch her skin wrinkle and her hair turn white? Would I watch her deteriorate and die? I wouldn't…it would destroy me before age had the chance to wither her. I knew the option that left us, but it wasn't something I could contemplate then, not when she was spread out before me.

We laid together for ages. I don't know why the feel of her eyes gazing into mine brought me such hope and damn near joyfulness, but I could never bring myself to tear away from her sight. Her skin…her blood, I needed to be touching her at all times. I knew it was irrational to need something such as that, but it was there…it wasn't disappearing. She asked me to tell her what to do now, and I couldn't answer her. I could only be truthful and raw about the bewildering effects that were rampant inside of me.

She left me for a mere human moment and I ached so deeply for her. The emptiness was inside of me where nothing else had ever touched. And it scoured me the moment she walked back into the room. I flew to the edge of the bed, my hands reaching out to feel her and the damage I had inflicted. I rested my fingertips on the purple…_too _purple…marks across her hips. I traced the red scratch across her abdomen and the bruising along her ribs, her breast, her arms, her legs. I had damaged the only thing that ever meant something to me.

I looked up from her injuries when I felt her fingers running through my hair. "I want them there. Do you know why?" she whispered vehemently. I persistently kept on staring at her and she continued. "Because when I wake up in the morning, I'll have proof that this is real. That _you_ are real."

I took her gently and pulled her between my legs. "Won't my body resting in your bed and my head lying on your breast be enough verification?" My voice ghosted in the silence of the room.

"And if one day you aren't there, then I'll have them until they fade. Until the world fades…" she drifted off, breaking eye contact with me as if she were unsure.

I pulled her on my lap and she kneeled on the bed around my waist. "Are you so sure I'll leave you?" I murmured, kissing along her jaw.

"No one ever stays," she breathed, the tears in her eyes resurfacing and breaking me into a million pieces.

"Who?" I questioned, my fingers ghosting along her back.

"My mother left me…she promised she'd beat it and a month later…she left me." She curled into my body and sobbed into my neck, my arms aching to pull tighter but could only settle for a loose grasp around her frame. She cursed and when she sat back up, her eyes were an open flame. "God damnit, Edward. This is the first fucking tear I've ever cried for my mother since she died. The first. Fucking. One. What _is_ this?" she whispered in frustration, motioning between us.

"You know I can't answer that," I said distantly.

She pushed closer to me, bringing my cock dangerously close to where it forever wanted to be. "And are you so sure you'll _never_ leave?" her voice was nothing but a broken whisper as she penetrated me with her gaze.

I guided her down gently on my lap, groaning as I was surrounded with her burn once more. "I'm here until you demand my absence," I whispered, panting against her neck as she ground her hips down against me.

"I won't," she whimpered, biting my neck and causing me to buck my hips too sharply against her.

"I'm sorry. Fuck, Bella, why would you let me hurt you like this?" I growled, demanding answers for this deranged act of masochism.

"It's what I want. You're what I want," she breathed, pulling my face against her chest as she slammed her ass against my lap. "Please…"

I laid back and buried my fists in the blankets, fervent of the fact that I would keep them right in that very spot. "I'm yours, beloved. Do what you wish with me."

"Fuck," she cursed, her palms landing with a slap against my stomach as she picked up her pace and tightened her walls around me. Already I was too close to the edge.

"You won't leave," she panted, her eyes rolling back as I surrendered and lifted my hips off the bed to meet her thrusts.

"Not without you," I gasped, feeling the thread tear and crumble beneath my fingers.

I pounded back inside her the second she went to slam down on me, causing a scream of pleasure to fall from her lips. I let go of the bedding frantically to catch her as she collapsed to my chest, her body trembling as her orgasm washed through her.

"Let me," I groaned between clenched teeth, unable to hold back any longer. She whimpered her approval and my hips left the mattress frantically, pounding her and taking her until my climax ripped and roared throughout my body. I let go of her hips and pulled my own hair in two tight fistfuls, growling and thrashing against her as she held onto me tightly.

She slowly slid off of me and climbed up my body as she straddled my waist, our fluid mixed together and seeping out of her as it covered my skin. I wanted it, too. I held her to me, wishing I could have this every second for the next million years and knowing it still wouldn't be enough. I found the one fucking place in this world where I belonged. She made me belong. "You won't leave," she repeated into my neck, her fingers scraping along the back of it as she fought to get me closer.

"Not. Without. You," I said forcefully, burying my nose in her hair and squeezing her tightly like I knew I shouldn't. Why did I keep doing this to her, and more importantly, why did she want me to?

I heard a familiar engine in the distance. My nostrils flared. I felt a deep growl forming in my chest. I wasn't ready. "What time is your father expected to return?"

She lifted her head and glanced towards the alarm clock. "Not for another couple of hours, why?" she questioned, her eyebrows pulled together.

I heard him pull in the driveway, and I felt my body shattering…everything breaking away. I couldn't leave her now. Never again. "He's here, Bella," I said softly, sitting us up and pulling her closer to me.

"No," she said forcefully. "Not yet."

The car door slammed.

"He'll find us like this, Bella. He'll try to keep you from me. I won't allow it. We have to just let go. We have to find the strength to let go," I pleaded, pulling her arms from around my shoulders as agony replaced her warm fingers on my skin.

"No," she growled in frustration, trying to struggle against me. There was never any hope for her to overpower me. She was shaking and I knew she would weep again. I couldn't handle it.

"Listen to me," I said forcefully, holding her wrists in the air between us. "I won't be far. And I'll be back here as soon as he departs. I _won't_ be far. Do you trust me?"

She nodded.

I stood us up and groaned as her legs wrapped around my waist. "I can't be away from you any longer. I won't do it." I grabbed her thighs and untangled her legs, planting her feet on the floor. "Bella," my voice warbled and fought with the intensity of her name, with the intensity inside of me when I spoke it. I tried to tell her with my eyes what my mind and…heart…couldn't express.

She let out a sob and pulled at my waist as the front door slammed. "Why can't I exist without you?" she whispered in a broken, defeated voice.

I crushed her to me while footsteps fell heavy on the wooden steps. I couldn't. God fucking help me, I just couldn't leave her.

"Isabella Marie Swan!" Her father's voice rumbled and spat through the door in a vicious tenor. "Get out here…immediately!"

Her watery, gorgeous brown eyes wavered between mine and I took a deep whiff of the air. My eyes narrowed as I pulled her face into my chest. Rage burned through me. Ownership threatened to annihilate as the pungent smell of _mongrel_ invaded my senses. I kissed her head and held her against me in a blatant refusal to let them have her. To let anyone have her but me. _She was mine_. She looked up at me questioningly and I had no choice but to reveal the one true fact that made my insides boil with anger. My voice was filled with poison as I pressed my lips to her hair.

"You have a visitor."

**-x-x-x-x-**

**Dun Dun Duuuuuuuun….**

**Come follow me on Twitter, your source for all things Bitey/Fic/Fun. Brits23 is the name.**

**And while you're at it, come by the twilighted thread for Laid Bare. We misbehave, and I let Bitey out of his cage for some group biting sessions. It's all the rage! Here's some linkage: http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=7529&st=0&sk=t&sd=a**

**I've got some must reads for you. Check out these stories by a couple of my girls. Their talent and knack for imagination never ceases to amaze me. Simply brilliant:**

**Silence By: Padme-And-Anakin-4-Ever http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5514114/1/Silence**

**Don't You Wanna Take a Ride With Me? By: stephk0525 http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5469761/1**

**Read on! You will not be disappointed!**

**And do I even need to tell you to read Breaking Trinity by VvDarkRosesvV? I mean, you guys all know the hot freaking magnificence that is Snarlward, right? Oh my, if you don't, you just have to. Please, do yourself a favor. http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5379823/1/**

**K I'm done pimping now! Send me some love, pretty please. I'd love a review, just letting me know what you thought. One word, one smiley…that's enough for me. Thanks for taking the time. See you next week. Love!**

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	5. The World I Live In

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Story rated M for underage drinking, smoking, brief drug use and overall bad behavior. Also rated for sexual situations, lemons, and hot, steamy, angsty vampire lovin'. Not a fan? Then this may not be the story for you. Canon pairing, pretty much OOC, ExB of course…are you still down?**

**There's just a little violence in this…nothing too disturbing though. :)**

**I still cannot get over the response to this story. Knowing that all of you are enjoying it so much really means a lot to me, so thank you for reading.**

**It was surprising to see how many of you automatically assumed it was Jake outside Bella's house. Let's see if you were right, shall we? See you down below!**

* * *

***BPOV***

"You have a visitor," Edward growled, my heart about to burst from the panic of my father outside the door and my fear of letting go of _him_. It was all so fucking irrational but after what we'd experienced this afternoon, the thought of letting go was more than I could bear.

He looked lethal, nostrils flared as he gazed over my head. "Get dressed," he whispered, slipping his hand beneath my hair and pulling me against him by the neck. "I'll be right outside. Don't let it take you."

"What?" I whispered softly, gripping his hipbones tightly.

"The emptiness…don't let it take you," he murmured, lips stroking against mine before he was gone in a blur.

At first I thought he left my room naked, but I saw that his clothes were gone from the floor. My room felt large and abandoned without him inside of it.

"Bella, now!" Charlie grumbled before stomping down the stairs.

What the hell crawled up his ass? There was no way he was aware of what was going on behind this door. Edward said I had a visitor, which seemed to be the reason for Charlie's dismay. Who could be here that would anger Charlie _and_ Edward simultaneously? I froze halfway through sliding on my sweatpants. There was only one person Charlie forbade me to befriend: Sam. He despised him, pinning Sam as the sole reason for Jake's delinquency, not to mention the rest of the La Push kids. But he was a good person. Somewhere deep inside, I knew he was _good_.

I threw a hoody over my head and ran my fingers through my hair before walking out my door in a sluggish manner. I was supposed to be sick after all, but the truth was…I was aching. My hips, my ass, my….yeah, everything was stiff and painful, in the most satisfying way possible. I was walking towards an enraged father, but I couldn't help the smile that spread across my lips at the thought of Edward. It faltered when I walked into the living room.

"Bella, can you please explain to me why the hell I come home to check on you and Sam Ulley is in my front yard, asking to talk to you? Why in the hell would he want to talk to you?" he seethed, both hands gripping his belt so rigidly his knuckles were white.

"Dad, calm down," I said in a pathetic voice. "Sometimes when I tutor Jake, he sits in. He wants to go to the tech, I've been helping him, too. It's no big deal."

"No big deal?" he asked incredulously. "Bella, you don't know what that boy is capable of. I told you I never wanted you near him. I agreed to let you go to the reservation for Jacob Black, and that is it!"

"Ugh, just get over it," I muttered, rolling my eyes. They flew open when I realized I let myself slip. Charlie was ready to begin fuming at my snotty tone, but I kept on speaking. "Look, Daddy…I'm just going to go talk to Sam. I'm sure it's about homework or tutoring or _something like that_. I can handle myself, Charlie, I'm not a little girl anymore. And I don't really appreciate you coming in here and yelling at me when I feel like hell warmed over."

Shit, more truth. What the hell happened to my filter?

He stared at me with a hard expression before his posture relaxed. "I'm sorry, Bells. I just…can't let anything happen to you. That boy is like bacteria, infecting everyone around him. We're watching…we're waiting for him to slip." I avoided his eye contact and he continued. "Go get rid of him, and you are never to talk to him again young lady, do you understand me?"

I nodded, walking swiftly towards the door and closing it behind me. It was cool outside, and I wrapped my arms around my torso, taking a quick sweep of the woods for any sight of bronze hair. I was ready to have him back now. Sam stepped from the side of my house and I punched him in the chest, repeatedly. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" I growled, pushing him for good measure. "Why would you come here while Charlie's home? You know he fucking hates you, Sammy. Did your mother drop you on your head when you were a baby or something?"

I distanced myself from him and crossed my arms over my chest, trying to rein my anger in a bit. His eyes shot over my head and I turned around to see Charlie watching us through the screen door. I rolled my eyes and opened it. "Don't hover, Dad. Please, just go."

He sighed and walked back inside while I grabbed Sam by the t-shirt and pulled him to the side of the house. "So what's the deal? Why the fuck are you doing this while he's here?"

He looked at me with intense, angry eyes and I stumbled backwards. I've seen this look many times. Towards the guys, towards people who owed him money or fucked with his crew. But never towards me. He was always gentle with me, and now… he was terrifying.

"Well Bella, I couldn't really walk on in while you were fucking that bloodsucker, now could I?" he spat, taking a step closer to me.

I slapped him across the face at his disrespectful fucking tone…but then my heart stopped. He knew. How did he know…how was that even possible? His crazed eyes were scaring me, something was different about him. He stepped closer to me, and I was so God damn angry that I had to fear one of my boys. "Edward," I whispered.

A second later, Edward was between us, his arm wrapped around me behind him, pulling me against his back as his growl reverberated between us. "Get the fuck away from her," he murmured darkly. I took the arm he wrapped around me and pulled it between us, urging him to turn around. His eyes were pitch black. Frightening. But the second he looked into my mine they softened and I linked our fingers, nodding that it was okay. "Stay with me," I whispered, trying to cryptically tell him not to lose it…I wasn't exactly familiar with Edward's temper, but I knew I had to calm him down. I couldn't comprehend why, but for some miraculous reason, I had an effect on him.

He lifted our linked fingers and brushed his hand along my cheek. "You ground me," he murmured softly.

"Well isn't that fucking sweet," Sam sneered sarcastically. "Bella, don't be a fucking drama queen. I would never hurt you, I'm just really aggravated at you right now for your naivety. You have no fucking idea what you've started by affiliating yourself with _him_, baby girl."

Edward stared at Sam like he was trying to burn a hole right through him. "You've phased," he murmured in a mystified tone. "You're the first one."

"Phased?" I questioned. "What the hell is that? Christ, Sammy, is that some new kind of drug or something? You need to cool it with that shit."

"Don't you dare ask her that question, _dog_," Edward snarled viciously, his fingers tightening around mine. "You'll never get her alone, not while I'm standing."

Sam looked at him with shocked and angry eyes. "I can remedy that, mother fucker," he growled. "Get out of my head!"

"What in the hell is going on?" I whispered shakily.

"Get over here, Bella," Sam growled, pulling me away from Edward and never breaking their stare down. "You aren't safe. You're _our_ girl, and it's _my_ fucking job to protect you!"

Sam's skin was scorching, just like Jake was last night. Edward roared and pulled me back against him hastily. "She is _mine_."

I rolled my eyes and stood between them. "Okay!" I yelled, placing a hand on both of their chests. The contrast startled me. "Enough with the pissing contest bullshit. Sam, tell me what you came here to say."

"Not with the leech here," he growled.

"Charlie is moments from coming out here, Bella," Edward murmured, his eyes never leaving Sam's as he pulled me into his side. He sighed and addressed Sam in a quiet tone. "Look, I don't wish to harm you…and you haven't an inkling as to how much it pains me to say that. But you're clearly important to her, which means you'll have no threat from me."

Sam chuckled snidely. "Wow, Bella. How did you manage to bag yourself a pansy assed vampire? I mean really, I'd at least have more respect for you if he was man enough to put up a fight. Damn Cullen, what a little bitch you turned out to be," he laughed, shaking his head.

I felt my whole body lunge forward in an effort to kick the ever living shit out of Sam. I was caught by two strong arms around the waist, holding me back as well as my rage. "Don't provoke him, Bella," Edward whispered urgently in my ear. Just because I couldn't punch with my fists didn't mean I couldn't give him hell. "You're the little _bitch_, Sam Ulley! He's doing this for me! What the fuck have you ever done for me but fill me with fucking narcotics and filth?! You disgust me!" I yelled, not caring if Charlie saw the whole display or knew what I truly was.

"Not here," Edward growled, shoving Sam violently into the tree line and pushing me gently until my back was flat against the house.

Then something happened. It started with a rumble in the air around me, a vibration of space. Sam's head thrashed, his teeth bared, his fists clenched. I watched him shake with fury, with more rage than any person could have inside them. My eyes widened as an eight foot tall, black wolf now stood where Sam once did, foam sliding down its sharp teeth as its eyes fumed and the hair on the back of its neck stood up high on end. My mouth fell open to scream, but nothing came out. Just air and general fucking astonishment. A feral growl pierced the air and the wolf was gone, trees being demolished with its wrath.

Edward looked back at my wide, horrified eyes. "Your father is coming. Wait for me in your bed."

He was gone in a blurry contradiction of pale skin and the black fabric of his t-shirt. I leaned against the siding of the house, my body quaking as I pushed my hair from my face. I closed my eyes and absorbed the two very recent truths that I was unable to deny. One of my best friends transformed into a beast before my eyes, and absolutely fucking nothing in this world was as I knew it to be.

*

***EPOV***

*

I don't know why I took after him.

Maybe instinct. Maybe the deep, guttural urge to tear him limb from limb. Maybe for her sake—how dare he fucking phase in front of her, no matter his lack of control.

I stopped and turned my head, letting my predatory instincts free in their natural habitat instead of using them for my sexual urges with Bella. He was near. Suddenly a massive ball of fur and teeth were flying at me, almost as if he were in slow motion. I had time to chuckle and run my fingers through my hair. This pup was no match for me. He flew towards me and I wrapped my fist in the fur that covered his throat, crashing him into the earth below and trapping his muzzle to the dirt with the brute force of my fists. He only phased a handful of times, I could hear his insecurities as I easily held him in place. "I'll let you go when you agree to speak with me," I said calmly.

_You're violating the fucking treaty if you even attempt to take my life!_

I laughed sardonically. "The only damage done to you will be self-inflicted. Flail, dog, and you'll snap your own neck. And _you_," I spat, pushing his nose further into the dirt like a misbehaving puppy. "Are violating the treaty. You've phased on _my_ turf, which is clearly forbidden."

_Get your fucking filthy hands off me, leech!_

"I'll let go when you agree to speak. Be a dog, if you wish. I don't need your voice to hear you." I felt my fingers twist in his coarse fur. The aching need to end his life and spill his blood rang deep inside of me. I wanted to destroy him…and she was the only thing stopping me. I focused my gaze to the trees in the distance, picturing the brown eyes that held the weight of the world and all the wonder of possibilities. This day was unlike any other. Bella and I were connected now, by every outlet and every means. This would not be the day I ended her friend's life.

He struggled beneath me daftly, and I pushed him farther into the dirt, causing him to yelp sharply. "You can't overpower me, mongrel. You're brand new and you're all alone. Back. Down."

_Fine, just get the fuck off me_.

I released him with a sharp growl, warning him that just because he was a temperamental shape-shifter didn't mean he could fuck with me. He roared and started pacing in front of me.

_I suppose you and your cult will accuse me of breaking the treaty now._

I observed my fingernails haughtily as nothing more than air were standing before me. "I have no reason to start unnecessary brawls. I am completely capable of being the better man in this situation."

_Well, I'm already in violation…give me one good reason why I shouldn't murder you where you stand._

"One, you don't have the skill. Two, Bella."

_Bella's being a fucking idiot._

An untamed growl left my lips as I charged forward, ready to break his neck from his vile words. We circled each other, teeth bared and eyes feral as we stared each other down. "You call her your friend, yet all you've done since you've arrived is insult her intelligence and disrespect her repeatedly," I murmured, my voice full of malice. "What kind of a man are you? Who treats someone like her with such distaste? You aren't even worthy to stand in her presence with your repulsive actions. And you should be thanking her, she is the one fucking thing keeping you alive right now."

His thoughts were a mixture of blinding hatred for me and deep regret for the way he spoke of Bella. Everything was a blur in his psyche as he tried coming to terms with his surrender. I broke from our vicious circling, dusting off my clothes and pulling a hand through my hair.

_Do you think I wanted this? You did this to me, fucker. You did this when your family came back here and fucked everything up for us. _

"I won't apologize to you. I'll just remind you of the treaty. We won't touch your land, and you won't initiate a battle between us. You're bound tighter than the trees and the fucking water, dog, so don't throw your petty threats at me."

_I know the fucking treaty inside and out, asshole._

"Then we're done. And I assure you, a separation between Bella and I will never come to pass. What would dear grandfather think of you breaking his agreement? I've only met him once, years ago, but he seemed a man full of pride. Would you disappoint him with such a senseless act?"

_You'll kill her._

"I'll fucking _revere_ her!" I spat, closing the distance between us. "She'll be safer with me than anyone else. Nothing will harm her, not human, not vampire, and especially not a _mutt _like you."

_Keep fucking talking, leech. One day soon I'll be stronger. One day soon, I won't be alone._

"And you'll be known throughout your tribe as the arrogant fool who broke a sacred treaty. I implore you, Sam Ulley, please do come after me. I welcome your embarrassment and ill-conceived challenge," I chuckled harshly.

He roared and snapped a large oak in two before screaming at me internally. _I'd never disgrace my ancestors! But I won't let you feed off of my girl. Either way it will result in her death! Buried in the ground, or undead and sickening like you. I won't allow it._

My eyes fell to the soil as I imagined Bella like me, _with me_, for eternity. "I _can't_ change her," I murmured distractedly. My eyes shot up to the beast before me and I knew he had no business knowing of my defectiveness. "I don't break ancient ties. I'm a Cullen, and we keep our fucking promises. We agreed not to change humans into immortal monsters, and I won't betray that."

My ears perked up at the sound of Chief Swan's cruiser driving distantly away from his house. I needed to go to her. I turned back to the wolf and gave my final word. "You and your miscreants won't go near her again. You can't control your rage. You know her, she'll anger you with a snide comment, you'll phase too closely…you will kill her. I will not fucking allow you in the mere vicinity of her."

_We'll distance ourselves until we can control it. And we will fucking control it. She's our girl, and I know what it takes to keep her safe. You don't even fucking know her!_

"I know her in a way you _never_ will," I seethed, taking a step towards him with tightened fists.

_We'll come back for her. And we'll be ready when we do._

"Then for now, we're at an impasse, dog," I sighed, slowly walking backwards.

_This isn't over._

"Far from."

With a growl and one more shredded tree, he ran from my sight, the ground quaking in his heaviness.

I ran from the thick woods, scaling her house and entering her window not five seconds later. She sat on her bed, back against the wall and knees against her chest as she stared off into space, no doubt questioning the world she once knew. Her eyes focused on me and her hand reached out. I was next to her a second later. I groaned as she crawled onto my lap, her body warming me and her breath on my skin giving me tranquility. I held her securely, but not tight enough for my needs. That was when I realized it wasn't about me…what happened to the selfish creature that existed prior to our meeting?

I prayed that miserable bastard was damned to hell for all eternity. There was no business having him around any longer.

She sighed and pressed her lips to mine. "What is he?" she whispered heavily.

"They call themselves werewolves, but the correct term is shape-shifters," I explained softly. My hand slid under her sweatshirt and rubbed along her bare back.

"And they hate you?"

"We detest each other. Many years ago, my family and I lived in Forks…and our presence provoked a change in the tribe. They began shifting once they discovered us, and they were eager to kill. Carlisle was civil and gentle, explaining we didn't take human life, and only peace was intended. He worked out a treaty with the Quileute ancients…a treaty that we are all still bound to, decades later. We're designed to destroy each other, Bella. It's buried deep inside of us."

"How can this be real?" she whispered into my shirt, her little fists twisting the material. "This is like some kind of fucked up fairytale."

"Indeed," I sighed, pushing her hair from her shoulder and fingering her bite mark.

"What's going to happen?" she whispered hesitantly.

I looked at her deeply, my finger rubbing more prominently against the skin that brought me life. "They'll need distance, Bella. What you saw, the phasing, it's caused by anger and the need to protect; it's hard to control. Your Quileute friends will stay away until they can rein in their transformation. And after…I just don't know. I don't think they'll be foolish enough to break the treaty, but Sam is rather adamant about distancing us."

"I won't be away from you," she breathed, pulling herself tighter against me.

"No," I whispered intently, pushing my forehead against hers. "You won't be."

We were quiet a moment, just holding each other in the comfortable silence of the room. Finally she spoke. "Tell me the terms of your agreement."

"They're rather cut and dry," I murmured, pulling her legs farther around my waist. "We don't kill humans or change them into one of us, we stay off of their land, they don't phase on ours, and neither one of us incite a war."

She scoffed and sat up to face me. "Then why the fuck is Sam even threatening you? You haven't broken any rules."

I leaned in and kissed her deeply, unable to keep staring at her lips and not have them attached to mine. I leaned away and she sighed deeply as I spoke. "While I think your friend is vulgar and childlike, you must remember that he cares for you. He believes me a threat to you, and he's eager to protect you. It's the one aspect I understand, beloved. I'd break the treaty as well. I'd start an epic battle in the sake of your name, without a second thought."

"You won't," she stated.

"I won't," I murmured, fingering her bite mark once more. "Unless provoked. If they come after me or my family, we'll have to protect ourselves. And if they disrespect you or cause you any threat, I'll rip them to shreds."

"Are they all going to be like this?"

"I don't know, Bella. It's a genetic lottery of sorts…depending on who they descended from."

"Don't hurt them for being dicks," she whispered against my jaw. "They're always dicks, it's just the way they are."

I chuckled softly, until I felt wet heat against my index finger and realized my incessant rubbing broke open her lesion. "Shit," I muttered, leaning down and running my tongue across the incision, sealing her wound. Her wound. I wounded her. "Are you sure this is what you want?" I whispered against her skin as she inhaled a sharp breath.

"I want you," she spoke softly, grabbing my hair as I sucked on her neck gently.

"I act so self-righteous, Bella," I groaned, my eyebrows furrowed. "Telling the dog I'd never hurt you…but I am. This is pain, is it not?"

Her eyes flew to mine and she grabbed the sides of my neck. "Do you have any idea what it feels like for me when you take my blood?"

I frowned in reply. "Tell me."

She shook her head in awe, as if she were trying to find the right words. "Your teeth break my skin and I feel a sharp pain, but it shoots through my body to every single nerve ending, resulting in an explosion of pure fucking _pleasure_, Edward. I can't even explain it. It feels so fucking good, the ache, the burn. I want it all the time. I want your teeth in me all the fucking time. So you aren't paining me, you're giving me exactly what I want. Okay?"

My cock throbbed achingly between us at her words. She wanted it like me…of course she fucking did. She was mine. She was meant to give and I was meant to take…a partnership of mass proportions. "Do you know what it does to me to hear you say that?" I whispered darkly, pulling at the fabric of her sweatpants.

Her tongue slid inside my mouth languidly, capturing mine and stroking it suggestively, her fingers clawing down my chest and resting at the button of my jeans. "I want these off, Edward. I need you—"

"Bare," I murmured, finishing her sentence and staring down intently at her. "You'll have all of me once I know how to give it, beloved."

Her mouth crashed into mine as she unbuttoned my jeans. "Then give me _this_, right now," she pleaded, stroking my length through unwelcoming fabric.

…_can't see anything, this is utterly God damn ridiculous. If he even tries to get angry, I'm going off, I swear to God._

My head fell to Bella's shoulder in defeat as I swore softly. "We'll be interrupted in a matter of moments," I sighed, listening to Alice's aggravated thoughts.

_Clothes on. I'm so going up there._

I buttoned my jeans and righted her clothing before kissing her once more. "We'll be finishing that," I whispered deeply, tracing her lip and sliding my finger in her mouth. She sucked on my finger and bit down, causing my cock to twitch violently against my denim restraints. "Bella," I growled.

"I want you," she pleaded. "Who's here?"

"I'm here," Alice called brightly from the window, crawling nimbly in.

Bella struggled to climb off my lap, and I held her in place. "Stay," I whispered, dragging my tongue along the shell of her ear, causing her to shudder.

_Wow, Edward._

I looked up at my sister who was staring at me with pure wonder. I could only imagine how foreign it would be for my sister to see me with a girl, let alone the one who completed me.

Alice took off her sweater and laid it on the corner of Bella's bed before sitting on it.

_My, my. You two have been productive today._

She smirked at me and I glared at her. "What the fuck are you doing here, Alice?"

"Bella, I'm Alice," she smiled, holding out her hand to Bella and completely ignoring me. Bella took it hesitantly and looked at her with a perplexed expression before Alice continued. "Now why the hell couldn't I see you two this afternoon? These dark clouds, they scare me."

"Welcome, Alice," Bella muttered. I smiled at the annoyance in her tone. I smiled even wider at her underlying endearment. Bella shifted off my lap and turned around, settling herself between my legs as she spoke. "Just so we're on the same page…ancient vampire, fortune telling skills, shop-a-holic with a tendency of overbearing compassion?"

Alice's laughter chimed throughout the room. "Oh my…I like you already."

I smiled despite myself, allowing my thumbs to slip under the back of Bella's shirt and draw slow circles against her skin. I loved her feistiness. I loved it even more when she was underneath me.

"You're correct on all counts, Bella. Thank you brother, for giving her the dirt. And, for the sake of thoroughness…contradicted human, dark in nature, masochistic vampire lover who swears like a sailor?"

Bella chuckled against me, shaking her head and holding out her fist. Alice bumped it hesitantly, unsure if that was what she was supposed to do. "Well Alice, you might just be the only girl on the planet I could tolerate hanging out with…that was pretty badass."

_Did you hear that, Edward? I'm badass._

I couldn't help smirking at my sister…she was so proud of herself. "Alright," I sighed, "Now that we're all established, what can we do for you?" Bella's fingers dug into my thighs and I dropped my thumbs from her back to beneath her waistband. Alice had to go.

"I wonder, Edward," Alice said flatly, rolling her eyes. "You haven't been home for days, and then your existence completely vanishes from my visions. It's the damn black clouds…I had to make sure you were both okay."

Black clouds. I pondered the notion.

"Good God, what is that smell?" my sister agonized, picking up Bella's arm and sniffing her sleeve. "It smells like a wet dog rolled in vomit."

Bella winced and I tightened my hold on her, the light bulb finally illuminating in my mind's eye. "The Quileute," I said thoughtfully. "You must not be able to see them, or anything around them."

Alice slapped the mattress in epiphany. "Of course, Bella's in and out because they come and go!" She smiled in recognition, but it faltered just as quickly. "Edward, this complicates things."

"I'm aware," I murmured softly, fiddling with a lock of Bella's soft hair.

"Um, hang on," Bella started hesitantly. "So my boys' from the rez…their presence around me makes you unable to see _our_ future?" She questioned, motioning between the two of us. My still heart clenched viciously at the term "our" as she continued. "Damn, I had some questions," she smirked, nudging me in the ribs. I smiled again. Such power this girl had over me.

Alice smiled knowingly. "I still see some," she trilled. "And sometimes too much." She lifted herself off the bed and wrinkled her nose as a flash of bare skin swept through her mind.

"Put a lid on it, Alice," I growled.

She looked at me pointedly. _Believe me, I'm trying._

Bella groaned as her face fell in her hands. "That's fucking great."

Alice floated over the awkward moment graciously. "You both should really come to the house for dinner someday soon."

My eyes flew to hers. "Alice, surely a mealtime with _our_ family would not be suitable for Bella in the slightest," I growled deeply. What the fuck was she thinking?

Alice rolled her eyes. "Esme wants to cook. You know, food?"

"They know, then," I whispered, averting my gaze to the long mahogany waves drifting down Bella's slender back.

"Carlisle and Esme suspect it," she said softly, observing Bella's musical collection. She pulled out a Backstreet Boys CD. "Really?" she snorted.

"Bite me, vamp-girl," Bella smirked, shooting her the middle finger.

Alice laughed melodically. "Might want to rephrase that one, human."

They made eye contact for several seconds, something unspoken passing through them before they both giggled like school girls, nodding their heads. This would be interesting.

"Is he angry?" I interrupted their strange behavior, needing to know what to expect the next time I returned home. I thought back to the last conversation I had with Carlisle. His words were firm.

"_Can you control yourself enough not to feed? If you confide in her, can you keep our secret? You must ask yourself if it's possible, son. You're well aware of the…repercussions if she were to find out what we are."_

"Is Carlisle ever angry?" Alice asked distractedly, sliding an Iron and Wine CD into her purse. "Don't worry, Bella, I'll return it."

"That's cool…so dinner with the parents," Bella sighed, turning around to face me. "Is that what we are?"

I didn't give her an answer, because I didn't have one. I leaned forward and placed a kiss to her temple, my intense eyes falling on Alice as she observed us quietly.

_I've seen it. It goes alright._

Alright. That sounded rather unpromising.

"Are you about finished, Alice?" I whispered, my hands sliding up Bella's arms as I stared into her eyes, not even bothering to look towards my sister when addressing her.

"I'll leave you now," she spoke softly. _God, they are absolutely adorable. This could bring him back to us._

My eyes shot up to hers at her tender thoughts. "Alice," I warned.

_You need to talk to Jazz and Emmett soon, Edward. Rose will be…poisonous…you already know this. But the guys are generally concerned. Just allow us in, even if it's an inch past the doorway. You have to let us in, because you're beginning to open up, Edward. _

I ignored her thoughts. With a gentle sigh, Alice walked towards us and kissed the top of Bella's head. "I'll see you Friday," she winked knowingly. Alice patted my hand and looked at me with hard eyes. "Be safe."

And with that, Alice did two back flips and dove eloquently out the window. "What a show off," Bella teased, turning to face me. "I love her, by the way."

My brows furrowed at her choice of words. "Yes," I murmured, tracing my finger over her delicate throat. "She certainly has a way of forcing that sensation upon people."

Bella's eyes fluttered closed as she turned to straddle me and lift my t-shirt over my head. "I don't want to think about the drama with the guys anymore. I just want to be here…in this…with you."

"We've got time," I whispered, lifting her sweatshirt over her head and pushing her hair behind her shoulders. "They need space, to adjust. We'll figure it out, Bella. There's no point in worrying over something you can't control."

I dragged my thumbs flat across her bare nipples as she fumbled with my zipper. "Should I be worried about Friday, then?" she murmured breathlessly, watching my caressing fingers and ignoring my reaction.

I slid the sweatpants off of her, leaving her warm, naked body to wrap around mine. "What is there to fear?" I breathed against her cheek, my hand trailing down her throat, between her breasts and across her stomach. "Do you even want to know the people in my life? This can be enough…" A sharp groan cut off my words as I lifted my hips and she slid my pants away.

Once there was nothing between us, she curled back up around me, her eyes gentle but alight with arousal. "I want everything in your life to be mine, too."

"Everything?" I murmured, gripping the swell of her hips and guiding her over my dripping cock. My mind immediately went to my previous thought in the woods. Bella with me, golden eyed and unbreakable. Forever.

She nodded and I slid slowly inside her, our foreheads crashing together and our moans pouring into each other's mouths as we adjusted to the feel of utter completion once more. She was so hot, so tight, so wet around me. My head crashed back into the wall with a growl, her hips swiveling slowly, tortuously on top of me. I wanted to pound her with everything inside of me, but I fought the urge. She leaned forward and took my bottom lip between hers, our eyes staying open and watching every move we made. My eyes traveled down her body, concentrating on every mark caused by my hand. I wouldn't hurt her this time. I slid my fingers just above the spot where I entered her, feeling myself inside of her through her skin. "Fuck," I groaned, dropping my thumb down to her clit and stroking it as I continued to marvel in the feel of us combining.

"Edward," she whimpered, my name sounding thick and delectable as her tongue swept along her teeth. "I want you on top of me. Cover me," she moaned breathlessly as her eyelids closed tightly in pleasure.

A low rumble sounded in my chest as I slid my hands up her legs and around her back, lifting her and laying her down before me. My eyes wandered over her writhing body, licking my lips at the sight of her heated flesh. Every inch of her was pink and mouth-watering, the head of my cock just barely nestled in smoldering resplendence. My gaze traveled back up to her face, her bottom lip trapped viciously between her teeth. Her legs tightened around my waist, begging for more, her body trembling before me as I thrust slightly further inside. "Come the fuck on," she muttered, attacking her lip once more.

I chuckled darkly and covered her body with mine, fingertips drifting up her arms and wrapping around her wrists. I lifted them above her head and tightened her fingers around the wrought-iron bars of the headboard. I held the metal beneath her grip. I stared down into those endless brown eyes, her chest rising and falling rapidly, pressing tightly against mine with every inhale of breathe. I couldn't hold still any longer. "Don't let go," I commanded, pushing all the way inside her and groaning her name desperately. She cried out loudly, her head flying off the pillow and crushing her lips to mine.

I gripped the metal forcefully, fighting to keep my hold and not damage my reason. My light. A strangled cry left my lips. "You're bleeding," I whispered against her mouth.

She looked up at me with an evil little grin. "I know. I want you to have both…I want to give you more."

I took her bottom lip eagerly between mine, pulling it into my mouth and attacking it with my tongue. Like sucking on a candied treat, like being buried in sweet salvation. She kept on giving…I kept on taking. I continued at a steady pace, pushing the bones of our pelvis tightly together before pulling back and repeating the action. Like a sacred ritual, like a desperate bond between two lovers. I wanted her to feel me inside her, to know I belonged there, to know I'd never leave.

"You give me so much, beloved," I murmured against her stained red lip, my eyes burning into hers. I wanted to run my fingers along her cheek, but feared the outcome if I allowed myself release.

She lifted her head off the pillow and pressed it against mine, eyes closed tightly as her warm breath brought life inside my body. "You give me more," she cried softly, her body quaking in emotion and pleasure. Emotion…the word hung in the empty cavity of my chest. What did that word mean to me?

"Let go," she whispered, bringing me back to the answered prayer spread beneath me. "Hold me," she begged, her voice wavering and full of something foreign and heavy.

"I won't taint your perfect flesh anymore than I already have," I winced, my fingers twitching in the need to wrap myself around her.

"Please," she whispered, releasing the headboard and wrapping her arms around my back. She pulled herself up to me, her face buried in my shoulder as she held on tightly. She trusted me. She needed me. I would never deny her a thing.

I let go hesitantly, sliding my palms underneath her shoulder blades and pulling her fragile body against mine. I pushed my forehead against her collarbone, my breaths heaving as I took in the enormity of these feelings…the pleasure, the drunken tenderness swarming in my brain and in my body. The need to protect her and hold her and be _hers_. It terrified me, needing so much from one human girl and not being able to comprehend an iota of it.

She sensed my discomfort, her legs wrapping around my waist to bring me deeper inside. I groaned and throbbed violently, knowing it would be over soon, and wishing it never could. "Edward," she moaned, her clenched eyes releasing to search mine. "Don't try so hard to define it. Just embrace it."

I groaned deeply, crashing my lips to hers and tasting blood and warmth and everything in this fucking world on her flesh. I thrust inside of her feverishly, her words making my need spiral and fall out of control. "Cum with me," I pleaded in whispered breath, wrapping my lips around her swollen nipple and bringing my fingers to where we were connected, burning and wet.

She whimpered and clenched around me, our bodies moving together in urgent synchronization. I felt the heat rise inside of me, every part of my body contracting and readying myself for the explosion she caused inside me every time she gave herself to me like this. I growled her name, gripping her hips and pulling her against mine as I stilled inside of her, declaring myself to her the only way I knew how. Our eyes stayed locked through the sharp pangs of ecstasy coursing through my dormant veins. Past the passionate screams that left her lips as she came undone around me. Through the tremors of our bodies, the fervor in our gaze, the possession of our touches. We didn't break the connection, the constant lifeline our eyes always granted us.

I stopped thinking and allowed myself to feel every aspect of the moment. My cock still hard and quaking inside her saturated heat. Her fingers digging into my back, her tongue sweeping slowly over her irritated lip. I listened to the silence of the room and the breeze outside her window and the frantic pounding of her heart.

They wouldn't take her from me. No one would.

I held her against my body until her father returned once more, the anxiety rising up in both of us. "Not yet," she begged, her fingers curling around my jaw and pressing her lips against mine. "I need more," she begged desperately.

I groaned deeply, the scent of her arousal and blood so prominent in the air between us. "It will hurt every time we have to part." I looked into her eyes before kissing each lid. "Appease your father, beloved, while I appease mine."

We sat up together, kneeling on the bed chest to chest as she snaked her arms around my waist. "Come back to me tonight," she whispered against my skin.

"I'll be back tonight and every one thereafter, Bella. And you'll be waiting…tell me," I whispered huskily, needing to know what's mine would remain as such.

"I'm yours," she whispered, repeating it against my lips as I fumbled with my clothes. Moaning it against my cheek as we walked towards the window in the dark evening light. Confessing it against my chest as I pulled her hands from my body. Whispering it against my forehead as I hovered in the sill outside her window. The cracking and splintering of my sanity was roaring inside of me with every inch between us. "I'm yours," she breathed, her eyes sad and cumbersome as I jumped from my salvation and warmth.

"Bella," I whispered, shaking my head in complete wonderment of the stunning creature above me, hand clenched over her heart as she stared down at me. "Meet my family. Take my life…it's already yours."

I disappeared into the woods, my mind and body heavy with satisfaction and deep yearning. I smiled and it didn't feel odd. I laughed and it didn't feel unnatural. I _felt _and it didn't boggle my mind.

Her existence ensured my own.

I ran towards the place I called home, knowing full well I just left _my_ home's warm embrace. I needed to talk to Carlisle.

_You have to let us in._

Alice's words rang through my mind.

And I was very nearly considering it.

*

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**A big thank you to my beta Isabel for fixing my errors and encouraging the shit out of me. She is simply amazing.**

**And thanks, as always, to my girl Mel for being Bitey's biggest fangirl. Read Breaking Trinity…her story is epic, just epic!!**

**I'm on twitter…Brits23, and you should totally stop by the Laid Bare thread on twilighted. The weirdest things happen there, like some sort of kangaroo, vodka induced, Spanish fly taking drive by that took place last night? I dunno ya'll, you have to see it to believe it. Hehe, linkage: ****http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=7529&st=0&sk=t&sd=a**

**Review, pretty please! It will be most appreciated. I try to respond but sometimes I fail horrendously. Please know I smile, read, and squee to every single review. They encourage me to keep writing, so drop me a line!! WOOT! See you next week! :)**


	6. Break of Day

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Hey guys! I hope everyone had a great holiday! Thanks for all the reviews and support, it truly means so much to me.**

**Thanks to the usual culprits, Mel and Isabel. They are my girls, my friends, and the two people I rely on most to tell me like it is. I love you ladies, so much its staggering sometimes!**

**And thanks to everyone who's three R-ing it—Reading, Rec'ing, and reviewing of course! Let's get on with it. I don't know if this will come as a shock to you or not, but there are lemons in this chapter…**

…**I know, right?**

***BPOV***

This morning was a beautiful space of contradiction, bright sun and dark clouds making the atmosphere seem unworldly and mysterious. Placid raindrops fell from the sky, the air heavy with the smell of moisture and comfort. I curled up on the floor against my open window, folding my arms on the sill and watching in wonderment as the beads slapped against the wooden frame and splattered across my skin. I smiled and lifted my eyes to the sky, shaking my head as the thin purple clouds moved rapidly, as if staying another moment in this environment was too much to bear. The dark blue sky of morning lay underneath, promising a rare and beautiful day. I squinted as the bright orange sun shed blinding light over the tops of the trees, making the world ignite in vibrant colors of yellow, pink, and blue. It was breathtaking.

I didn't want to sleep ever again. I didn't want to miss the private moments of daybreak, or the heavy blanket of deep night that can only be found the moment everyone else is absorbed in slumber. I wanted every second, every minute, every hour of the day and night to be mine…and his. To escape the tiny slivers of death called sleep. I wanted life…I wanted every piece of it.

I sighed, running my finger over the wet wooden frame and swirling the random drops together. Suddenly I was surrounded by him, the coolness of his naked flesh seeping into my body and causing me to tremble in delight. I was lifted and placed into his lap so quickly, I didn't even register the transfer of scratchy carpet to cool, hard muscle. The shock of it nearly took my breath away.

"The sun will shine today," he murmured against my shoulder, unwrapping the sheet covering my body and running his hands gently along my sides. He slowly reached up and slid his fingers across the wet wooden frame, swirling the random raindrops together absently.

I laid my head against his temple and followed the patterns he was tracing in the moisture. "I won't mind the brightness today," I sighed, pulling his free hand around my waist. His fingers spread across my side and brought our bodies tighter together, his teeth dragging softly along my shoulder.

"I thought you favored the darkened sky," he breathed against my skin, bringing his rain covered fingers over mine and intertwining them tightly, making our hands mutually cold and wet together. I groaned as he held my other hand, linking our fingers and wrapping both strong arms completely around my body. He inhaled unevenly and didn't breathe again for several minutes.

When I heard him exhale behind me, I finally spoke. "Sometimes we need light."

"I have light," he murmured deeply, the words escaping his mouth before I was even finished speaking mine. "You're my light," he whispered, burying his nose in my hair and humming a deep purr inside his chest. We sat in silence while he secured me in his solid embrace, locked between his limbs and never ever wanting to be released.

"Taste me," I pleaded quietly, scratching gently along his scalp before grabbing a handful of feather soft bronze and bringing his lips to my neck. I felt his mouth curve into a smile against my skin, his lips pressed gently against my reddened flesh.

"You'll be too weak," he spoke softly, running his tongue along my bite.

"Then take me," I begged, bringing our entwined fingers between my legs.

His breath caught and he groaned before pressing his lips to my temple, kissing my steady pulse repeatedly. "You're sore, Bella," he murmured, ghosting the tips of his fingers up and down my swollen slit.

My body started trembling at his feather light touches, my breath leaving me in gasping whispers. "Edward…"

"I won't be in school today, beloved. The sun…"

I turned around in his lap and met his intense eyes, all golden and speckled crimson. The sun…he couldn't be out in the sun where others could see him. I laid my head against his chest and sighed shakily, not saying a word as he continued. "You can have a day of normalcy before you're thrown back into the 'fucked up fairytale', as you called it." His voice held a smile but there was nothing but hollowness behind it.

"I don't want normal," I murmured, my fingers twisting in his chest hair. "I want to see what you look like in the sun."

"I can show you, if you'd like…"

"When?" I lifted my head eagerly, unable to comprehend an instance where he was more beautiful than in that exact moment. He had told me what the sun did to his skin, and it was unfathomable.

He gripped my upper thighs and wrapped them around his waist, the head of his cock nestled gently between my legs. I closed my eyes, enthralled in the feeling of our sensitive skin touching, caressing each other. "Spend your lunch hour with me…meet me in the woods." His eyes were alight with fire, and dare I say, an ounce of giddiness.

"And what will I eat?" I whispered against his lips, reaching between us and stroking his massive length, pushing the tip of his cock into my wet heat.

He growled low and delectably, wetting his bottom lip with his tongue. "What are you in the mood for?"

I looked up to the ceiling in mock contemplation. "I think I'm lacking some protein in my diet," I teased, bringing my thumb over the head of his cock and sliding it against both of our arousal.

"Bella…" he warned with a pant, his hips pushing forward slightly.

I kneeled on the floor around him and brought myself over his erection, my arms tightening around his neck and my teeth clamping down on his earlobe. "I want _you_ in my mouth, Edward," I whispered breathlessly, slowly lowering myself down on top of him.

"Mmmm…fuck, Bella," he moaned deeply, his jaw clenched in restraint as I winced slightly. He nearly spent the entire night buried inside of me. It burned to have him fill me now, the ache was deep and throbbing between my legs. But I needed him so desperately that I just couldn't stop. "It's hurting you," he groaned through tight lips.

My forehead dropped to his shoulder. "It's defining me," I mouthed, my breath barely making the words dominant enough to break the air. Of course, he heard me no matter how softly I spoke, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me down on him slowly, entirely. I moved very minimally above him, letting my over stimulated muscles milk him and throb around him until he was panting into my neck in throaty gasps. "I can't hold it," he groaned achingly. "Will you…_fuck_…will you cum?"

I smiled, curling my fingers in his hair and holding him securely. "I just want yours, Edward."

I dug my knees into his sides, our bodies tightening together as I felt him grow larger inside of me, pulsing and cold and heavy. He came with an intense grunt, his fingers dragging down my back as he pushed his forehead against mine. His eyelids fluttered, his breath was purposeful as he struggled to remain still, his body clenching against me with every cool spurt he gave me. He lifted me off of him slowly by the waist, laying me across his lap and cradling me in his cold, hard gentleness.

"Why do you crave me like this, Bella?" he whispered, fingers ghosting along my jaw as he stared out the window.

"Because I feel like a whole person, watching you come alive," I said thoughtfully, tracing the fingers that held my chin.

"I don't deserve it," he murmured dejectedly, his head falling to his chest in defeat.

"Shut up," I growled, slapping him in the gut with the back of my hand. "Emo and vamp is a very unappealing combination."

He chuckled deeply, my fingers tracing the curve of his lips while butterflies fluttered inside of me. I clamped my eyes as my haunting inner voice taunted me with fucked up words that would do nothing but complicate the brilliance that was Edward and I.

_You're falling_.

_You're falling, you're falling, you're falling._

I groaned and rose from his lap. _Shut the hell up, Bella!_

"I'll just have to stay home sick again," I mused, throwing my sheet back onto the bed and slipping into my pink bathrobe, tying it at the waist. He was standing behind me simultaneously, untwisting the fabric that held the robe together and spreading it, covering my abdomen with his long fingers.

His lips attached to my shoulder. "I don't remember saying you could get dressed," he growled, fingers slipping lower and sliding along my inner thighs.

"So you think you can tell me what to do now?" My hands fell to his forearms and while I was trying to sound forceful and insulted, my words came out rather airy and desperate.

"Would you like that?" he whispered, thrusting his ever present erection against the curve of my ass.

"Um…probably," I sighed in surrender, pushing back against his solid body.

He chuckled arrogantly, sweeping his tongue along my scabbed bite. "Do you really expect to miss school every time the sun shows itself, Bella?"

"No," I said defensively, pushing out of his grip and tying my robe up hastily. I felt the nasty chill of rejection creeping up my spine. I grabbed a clean towel from my closet and shot him an angry glare. "If you don't fucking want me with you today, Edward, then just tell me. You won't be hurting my feelings any." I walked swiftly to the door and just as I went to turn the knob, I was pressed against the cold wood…trapped by hard flesh. The air left my lungs rapidly.

I felt his icy breath spread along the side of my face, his nimble fingers brushing my hair gently away from my cheek. "Do you really believe I don't want you? Have you not been listening to a single word I've spoken? Have you not felt every touch by my hand, my mouth, my _cock_?" he growled, his fingers trapping mine against the door and entwining them with his against the wood. I suddenly felt very stupid, because I knew I was acting like a baby.

"Have you not had my teeth in your flesh, stealing your essence and draining your body of its livelihood? How much more obvious can I make it, _Isabella_? How can I prove to you that my existence solely depends on yours…tell me," he spat, the angry tone of his voice making me throb achingly between my legs. I wanted him inside me, and would surely never be able to walk again if I allowed us the pleasure.

"I…" I started, feeling like shit about angering him, but still caught up in the whirlwind of downright rapture he always ensnared me in. "I'm sorry. I do know, I know you want me. I just…need you, too."

_You're falling._

I was going to take an ice pick to my brain in about two fucking seconds if that stupid voice continued to nag me about shit I had no interest in.

_You're falling._

Fuck.

Edward sighed deeply and let go of my hands, letting his rest on my hips. I groaned unevenly as I felt his thumbs drawing shaky circles against me through my robe. His head dropped to my shoulder as he spoke. "Forgive me," he murmured, squeezing my hipbones tighter. "Perhaps I'm a little on edge as well about our…impending separation." Without warning, he had the irritated skin of my bite sucked into his mouth, tongue lavishing, lips tasting as if he were trying not to forget.

"At 12:10 p.m. I want you in the woods, south of the school. Wear your modest sweater and long skirt if you feel you must, but nothing more. _Nothing more_," he repeated, sliding his hand inside my robe and palming my breast forcefully. "I'll bring food to satiate you, beloved. And I'll make you cum so fucking hard, you will _never _doubt my intentions again." He pushed me into the door with his hips and twisted my nipple in a painfully perfect pattern as I trembled against him.

I whimpered and pressed my forehead against the cold wood, covering the hand inside my robe and holding it firmer against me. "Please, Edward," I whimpered.

He chuckled breathlessly against my skin, his tongue gliding languidly from my ear down to my jaw. His voice was nothing more than a whisper as he spoke. "The way you beg for me, Bella. I will never fucking get enough. Be in the woods this afternoon, beloved…let me claim what's _mine_."

The next instant I was left cold and empty, writhing against the door and aching for my lunch hour.

***EPOV***

I choked and gagged in utter repulsion as the sour, hot blood of a deer slid heavily down my throat. It was nearly unbearable. All of it paled in comparison to the feast I had been treated to the past two days…as brief a meal as they were.

While Bella's blood, and Bella _in general_, brought me back to life, the small amounts she allowed me to take from her wouldn't be enough to live on solely. I had to fill myself to the brim for her safety's sake, as well as my sanity.

I threw the carcass out of my site, its fluid sloshing sickeningly in the pit of my stomach. I looked around the wooded area, hazy with random rays of sunshine shooting straight down to the forest floor. I turned my hand left to right, watching the reflection that would catch with every movement of my arm. Would she like it? Would it repulse her?

I waited intolerantly in the surrounding woods outside of school, hearing a distant bell ringing. _One more class_. One more painfully extensive sixty minute interval and she would be mine. My patience was wearing thin.

I listened to the quiet murmuring of adolescent thought, students making their way across the quad, gossiping and acting as though there wasn't a care in the world. How easy it must be to exist as a human child, the main worry in your life being whether mother will let you go out this weekend, or cramming for an acceptable grade on your Spanish test.

Bella was different. She was like me…weighted with the concerns of mystical creatures and bestial tempers. How did she get herself caught up in these things? It was no matter. She was trapped in my twisted web of lust and need…I would never let her go. And I'd never let the dangers of our world come anywhere near her. She was too precious to be destroyed. She was mine. And every minute spent with her naked, writhing form further proved to me that I was hers as well. At the mercy of the girl that gave me more pleasure than I knew existed. I shifted uncomfortably at the notion and ran towards a high precipice, craving the heat of the sun.

Bella was warmer. Bella was lighter.

I lounged along the edge of the cliff, allowing my eyes to close as the rays of the sun covered my body and the soft breeze ruffled my hair. I would bring her exactly to this spot at 12:10 p.m. The only thing missing from this comforting moment was her body on top of mine. Her wet mouth burning hot breaths into me. Her fingers digging in and staking claim on my skin.

Fuck…would my cock forever be erect now that Bella encompassed my world?

I folded my hands beneath my head and resisted the urge to bring myself relief. I wanted her to do it. Truth be told, I wanted her mouth wrapped around my cock. I wanted to be buried far enough inside her throat to make me groan and cum and jerk violently from the sensation. But I couldn't allow it. If I ended her life from these actions, the death I'd inflict upon myself wouldn't even do her justice…and still wouldn't be enough repentance for my disgusting indulgences. I could never risk losing control with her.

On the plus side, it was nearly effortless to manage my bloodlust with her. When I tasted her in the throes of passion, it only heightened my pleasure. Not once did it overtake me, or overshadow the feel of her heated body underneath mine.

Unfortunately her bruising never relented.

If I wasn't such a selfish creature, I'd fight to keep my hands off of her while I fucked her, but it was an unrealistic idea. I would never be able to keep a single part of my body off of hers…I wanted to be completely wrapped around her every moment of the day. I sighed, watching a blackbird fly high overhead. All the rules I'd broken…all the risks I'd taken, throwing my family into the mix. Nothing mattered…I felt no remorse for the things I'd done with her.

I thought back to the previous night, sitting down with Carlisle at the rarely used kitchen table and ready to bear my sins. His fingertips were touching as he observed me carefully, his thoughts uncharacteristically guarded. This was unlike him.

"_I have nothing to hide, Carlisle. Not anymore." I decided to speak first and break the silence of the room. _

_He observed me a moment longer, a conflicted jumble of thoughts entering his mind. "Edward," he started, his voice soft and low. "There's so much to say, and yet I don't know where to begin. Do I congratulate you on finding another being that complements you so? Do I chastise you for putting your family in a very precarious situation?"_

_He broke eye contact with me and shook his head, looking down at the table. I waited for him to look at me before I spoke. "Tell me what you honestly think…there's no need to tiptoe. I know I've broken ancient vows…there was simply no choice in the matter. Carlisle, I have no way of forming into words what I've found with this girl."_

_Carlisle took in a sharp breath. I could only imagine what it would sound like to hear these words come from his distant, vacant son who never participated in the family he created. His mouth turned down into a frown at his frustration as the potential consequences of my actions flashed through his mind. "Oh, Edward," he sighed, "What have you done?"_

_The words were like a punch to the gut. The words were the same he spoke when he found Rosalie dying in my arms all those years ago. Surely he couldn't compare the two acts, could he?_

_Of course he could. Both were selfish, attempting to create a mate for my self-centered needs. Drinking Bella's blood and taking her pleasure to make it my own. I was still the shameful creature I was seventy years ago. The only difference was I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Bella and I were destined to exist together, no matter how nonsensical it was. I lifted my head and met Carlisle's gaze, my eyes burning in determination. "I know what could happen by exposing what we are, and I understood your request to avoid the urge to feed from her. But I've…tasted her blood, and she knows what I am, Carlisle. I can only defend my actions by saying there was truthfully no other way."_

_My voice rose in desperation and Carlisle held his hand up to stop me. "Well, then you must tell me everything, Edward," he sighed exasperatedly._

_And so I did._

_I explained the events of the last few days, respectfully skipping over the details that were private to Bella and I…no one would hear or even think about my human girl in that way. That privilege was only mine to have. I divulged to Carlisle my inability to hear her thoughts, along with the newfound complications that the wolf pack would eventually create. He said nothing about this development, and kept his thoughts hidden once more. _

_The silence was palpable, the ticking of the nearby clock nearly deafening in my ears. I'd put my entire family at risk, and immediately knew what I needed to do. "I won't be without her now, Carlisle. If you wish me to leave the house in order to protect the others, I'm quite willing."_

_His eyes flew up to meet mine. "Don't be absurd, Edward. You are my son, you are a member of this family. I just wonder if you've considered the severity of your actions. The Volturi could end her life if they got wind, the Quileutes could provoke war for Bella's safety, you could drain her, you could kill her…don't you understand that, son?"_

_My fists clenched and unclenched in anger. Not at Carlisle, but for the endless obstacles that stood in our path. "Carlisle, I'll leave if you'd like," I reinstated, my voice no more than a whisper as I spoke. "I…don't wish to go. You are my family for all intents and purposes. But she is a part of me."_

"_Do you love her?"_

_An audible huff left my lips. Did I? Did I even know what that meant?_

"_I can't answer that," I murmured gently._

"_You've changed," he observed thoughtfully._

"_Irrevocably," I whispered, dragging my thumbnail across the enamel of the table and avoiding his eye contact._

_Carlisle sighed and shook his head, fingers interlacing as he gazed out the window. A single thought stuck out in his mind. "He seems happy. That is worth any consequence."_

_My chest clenched awkwardly, and I was surprised by my response to his inner workings. So far Bella had been the only one who had caused such a reaction inside me._

_It was clear to me that Carlisle wouldn't speak again until I took the initiative. "Alice seems to think it would be a promising idea to invite Bella to the house this Friday…"_

"_Edward…Esme and I are very eager to meet Bella. Anyone who has affected you in such a way is rather important to us merely by association. However, I do think it imperative that we discuss this as a family. Everyone should be on the same page before you walk a human girl through our door," Carlisle smiled ruefully, finally allowing his tense posture to lessen infinitesimally. _

_His disapproving tone was gone, for the most part, and I wondered if I was pressing my luck by asking my next question. "You approve then?"_

_I didn't need it, but much to my surprise, I certainly wanted it._

"_Approve may be too strong a word, Edward. But what can I do other than accept this? Look at what this girl has elicited inside of you. The complications may prove to haunt us in the days to come, but isn't that worth having you back? Isn't that worth having my son?" His words were forceful and filled with an emotion that he hadn't dared share with me in so many decades._

_I felt nervous and scrutinized underneath his stare. I didn't even know what to say to this outburst of compassion. "Carlisle…I'm trying. And that's the most I can offer. It's more than I ever thought possible for me, and she's responsible for it. Regardless of the repercussions, I won't be without her. I'm not sure how much clearer I can make it."_

_Carlisle tentatively reached out to pat my hand, his golden eyes nothing but genuine. "Then if complications arise, we'll handle them as a family. Bring Bella to meet us. Show us the girl who brings about such life inside of you, Edward."_

"_Do you have any theories as to why I'm unable to read her thoughts?" I questioned, anxious to stray from these meaningful words Carlisle continued to subject me to._

"_As far as you not being able to read her thoughts, well, Edward, not much about your vampirism has been ordinary," he chuckled. "It sounds like young Bella may be as mysterious a human as you are an immortal. What a pairing," he mused, shaking his head._

_I smiled softly, feeling a deep pull in my chest cavity at the mention of her name. I needed to return to her. "So dinner on Friday, then."_

"_It seems that way, yes," he spoke slowly, the hesitant frown reappearing across his features. "Edward, you need to prepare yourself for the fact that some of your siblings may not be so quick to accept Bella…to agree with your course of action. Rosalie in particular, you know, will be difficult. Divulging this information in detail may be slightly challenging to do in front of everyone, but they certainly have a right to know. They're all involved now, each one of them."_

_I nodded. "I realize, Carlisle."_

_He nodded and softened his tone a bit. "Of course, you'll have no need to worry about the reactions of Alice or Esme. They've been congregating like chickens over the prospect of cooking food for your Bella."_

_My Bella._

_I smiled, grateful for Alice's advice and overall acceptance of the situation. "As long as Bella doesn't become the meal," I sighed, rising to seek out the rest of the family and get this little meeting over with. I laid a hand on Carlisle's shoulder as I passed him, silently thanking him for understanding a situation that was rather difficult for me to put into words. Something I still didn't fully comprehend._

"_Edward?" he called as I walked out of the room. I turned to face him and he continued. "You really feed from her?"_

_I looked to the floor and nodded once._

"_It's a dangerous risk, son," he warned. "Not only could you take too much, but your venom is fickle…it may have strength one day. You just don't know."_

"_Thank you, Carlisle," I said earnestly. "But trust me when I say, I will never allow myself to harm her. My venom is as empty as it's ever been, and I am in complete control…it's the one thing I'm sure of. She's safe."_

_He seemed satisfied with the solidity of my words, but I caught one vacant thought as I exited the room. "He may want her to be one of us, one day."_

_I ignored his internal commentary, and not without effort._

The "family meeting" that followed went exactly as expected. Esme and Alice squealed. Emmett asked if she was hot. Jasper was hesitant about having a human in our home, his desire for human blood still more prominent than the rest. Carlisle's thoughts remained protective as I laid myself out on the line for the first time in my existence. Rosalie…threw a lamp at my head and told me I was a fucking idiot.

Like I said, completely expected.

Overall, the general consensus of the family was happiness…for me. Excitement for the prospect of my participation in their lives. And anxiety that I may have destroyed the one safe haven we had—our family, our indiscretion.

Only time would tell.

The quiet ringing of a far off bell distracted me from my thoughts of the previous night.

It was time.

I ran to the tree where I had placed the lunch I'd packed for her. When I left her warm embrace this morning, I decided to go to the store for her meal selections. It was painfully obvious to me in that moment that she hadn't eaten the entire time I was with her yesterday. Even further, she only drifted off for an hour or so during our night together, the rest of the time spent fulfilling our primal need for each other.

Fuck, it was imperative that I took better care of her. She needed nutrition, and she needed her rest. I wouldn't make that mistake again.

I had grabbed random things from the convenient store, clearly having no idea as to what a human girl of seventeen enjoyed eating. A blueberry muffin, banana, a bag of chips and a bottle of water were the best I could come up with. Hopefully she would be satisfied. After all, she certainly needed her strength for what I had planned for her in those deep woods.

I walked near the tree line of the school, careful to stay in the shade's concealment. I set the bag of food on the ground and watched the building with fervor, aching for any sign of the girl who belonged to me. Every nerve ending sprung to life as I saw her slip away from the quad, her steps eager and purposeful as she made her way towards me.

My dick was already standing at full attention for her.

I sucked the venom off of my teeth harshly, knowing I couldn't take her blood today. I would let her strength replenish, and once it was, her hot fucking liquid would be burning down my throat, satisfying my never-ending hunger for her taste.

When she entered the tree line and became surrounded by the forest, I nearly lost my needless breath. Her smile was radiant and somewhat deviant. Her hair was down, held back by one band while wavy curls drifted down her slender back. She was wearing a white peasant skirt, looking like an angel and a vixen in one instant. There wasn't even a shadow of a doubt that this girl was created for me.

She smiled softly and looked down, unzipping her brown sweater and hanging it on a tree branch. I let out a small groan at the sight of her little tank top, exposing the ivory of her bare arms and a sliver of taut skin across her abdomen. Fuck, I wanted her.

She remained her distance, some twenty feet away as her fingers ghosted along the bark of random trees, her eyes intent on my every move. She was playing coy.

She didn't stand a fucking chance.

"Come here," I murmured darkly, my eyes burning pure sex into hers. I bit my lip and clenched my hands into fists, the tingles of pleasure throbbing and spreading like wildfire from my cock all the way to the tips of my fingers. My entire body was aroused, every expanse of skin needing to feel her hot little body rubbing against it. I was foaming at the mouth for her, quite literally.

She continued following me deeper into the woods at a sluggish pace-our eye contact never breaking as we moved further away from unwanted eyes and denied ourselves the need that was aching between us.

"No," she whispered innocently, her mouth upturned into a grin as she looked on like the naive little girl I knew she wasn't. She crooked a finger, urging me to move toward to her. "I want you over here," she purred.

"And _I_ want you on my cock," I demanded, my voice heavy with need. I popped the button of my jeans and let out a sharp growl as the scent of her arousal struck me without warning. "Come to me, right now."

I slid my zipper down slowly, palming the massive bulge in my pants. Her eyes went wide as she stared impatiently at my crotch. "Fuck," she gasped under her breath.

I saw her body move closer towards me slightly, shaking, ready to fucking submit. A twisted grin spread across my face. My hands trembled in restraint. I wouldn't wait another fucking second.

She was rushing towards me then, whimpering and desperate as she struggled to close the distance.

"Now," I breathed, making my way towards her at an inhuman speed. She jumped into my arms, our mouths crashing into each other, sloppy, wet, hot strokes of our tongues dragging audibly together as we attacked. She gripped the collar of my t-shirt and pulled down rapidly, stretching the fabric and pulling it until it was misshapen and hanging off of my chest.

I felt my tooth bump her top lip, breaking the skin instantly and exposing the crimson liquid I wanted to drown myself in. I sucked it into my mouth, fighting to get every drop I could from her soft skin. "You need to fuck me, Edward," she begged in a desperate tone, pulling at my shirt once more and breaking it free from my body.

I roared and ran her deeper into the woods, ensuring the privacy that was imperative to us. I pushed her flesh against a large boulder, impressed at her strength as she pulled the shredded shirt off my back. I clawed her skirt up around her waist, growling in pure rapture as I was met with her hot, wet pussy.

No underwear, how thankful I was that she'd listened to me. I ripped my jeans down my thighs hastily, aching to be buried in her burning, drenched heat. "Fuck, I need you," I groaned, pushing my cock deep inside of her without warning and holding still as the fire consumed me. We moaned together desperately, both of us needing this completion more than fucking life itself.

I gripped her ass firmly in my hands, lifting her from the surface of the rock and holding her against me. She was so tight like this, full to the God damn brim with my throbbing cock. I opened my eyes and looked at her. The sight nearly fucking rendered me unconscious. She dug her teeth into my chin, her eyes clamped tightly as she groaned deep and gutturally against my skin. Her fingers pulled at my hair, clawing her nails along my scalp almost hard enough for me to feel it. She was falling apart around me. And I was going right along with her.

I pulled her down on my cock roughly, groaning as her knees dug frantically into my sides. I wanted to slam into her, tear her up, to make her fucking never forget who she belonged to. I struggled so hard to remember that doing so would injure her, maybe even kill her. She was mine, I couldn't harm her.

"Edward, please," she moaned, clawing my shoulders savagely as her tongue dragged across my bottom lip. "I need you to take me hard, and fucking fast. If you're a vampire, then fucking prove it to me. Please….fucking _please_," she whimpered, slamming herself down on my cock frantically.

"I'll hurt you, Bella. Is that what you want?" I growled loudly, so God damn frustrated that she would ask of me the one thing I couldn't give her.

"Hurt me!" she cried, slamming her forehead against mine as her eyes drifted shut. "Fucking hurt me, Edward. I need it…I need you. I can't fucking get close enough," she groaned desperately, clinging to my body so tightly that her muscles were trembling from the force.

Our crazed eyes locked…and I knew there was never any other way. My arms wrapped around her waist, crushing our bodies together as I penetrated her faster.

Faster.

Faster.

Faster.

I couldn't stop.

I was possessed in that moment, drinking every scream she poured into my mouth, tasting her pleasure and making it my own. I grunted and groaned frantically, digging my fingers into the rock behind her, crumbling away the boulder with every climax that jolted through her body.

She held onto me for dear life as I pounded my cock inside of her, her muscles tight and throbbing. I didn't stop, couldn't stop, _wouldn't_ stop. "Bella," I whimpered desperately, at the very end of my sanity. "Tell me. To fucking. _Stop_."

She was mumbling, moaning, screaming incoherently as I fucked her rampantly, just like she asked me to. I was terrified at the damage I was inflicting. I was angry at myself for not having an ounce of fucking resolve. And I was entirely vacant from reality, because the amount of pleasure she elicited inside of me was enough to completely destroy me.

"It's too good," she mumbled fervently, her sweat covered skin sticking delightfully against mine. "Please cum…cum in me. Fuck, I want it," she cried breathlessly, her legs finally giving out and falling away from my hips.

I caught her swiftly, rubbing her calves softly as I steadied myself inside her. I waited, holding still and absorbing the feeling of my cock twitching violently, on the verge of release but not giving in. I looked at her, really fucking looked at her. Gorgeous brown eyes watery and burning as she panted wildly against me. "Bella," I whispered, brushing the damp hair away from her face and truly absorbing the power of those eyes for the first time.

"Let it go," she mouthed against my lips.

And I fucking fell apart…inside of her, around of her, _because_ of her.

I buried myself deep in her soaked heat, clasping her little body to mine as if I'd never touch her again. Our bodies jerked frantically together with the force of my hips, emptying, thrusting, claiming her with wave after wave of my release.

I fell to the ground in a heap, leaning back against the boulder I fucked her on and cradling my human girl in my arms as she trembled against me. We didn't speak for an immeasurable amount of time. My hands ran gently all over her body, kneading her muscles and praying to any fucking higher power imaginable that I didn't hurt the only thing that ever meant anything to me.

"Please tell me you're okay," I begged her with a strangled sob, my eyes feeling heavy and burdened as I clasped them tightly.

"I'm…perfect," she sighed, pressing her soft lips to my chest and snuggling in further to my embrace.

I breathed a deep sigh of relief. She _was_ perfect…no truer words had ever been spoken. I kissed every part of her I could reach, so God damn thankful that I hadn't broken her, or worse.

She must have sensed my concern, because she smiled up at me brightly. "You won't hurt me," she whispered cheerfully.

"I'm fully capable," I murmured against the top of her head.

"I know…but you won't," she sighed simply, dragging her nails across my stomach lazily before looking up at me. "Hey, you promised I could see you in the sun."

"We'd have to move in order for that to happen," I groaned, burying my nose into her hair.

She laughed, and it brought about a tingling, twitching feeing of joy to erupt inside of me. When would these new emotions cease to amaze me? "Very well," I sighed dramatically, lifting us from the ground swiftly.

I set her on her feet, holding her by the waist until she found her footing. She winced slightly, running her fingers through her very obvious sex hair. "I thought I didn't hurt you?" I questioned, my eyebrows furrowed in concern.

She smiled up at me sinfully, making my cock twitch in eagerness for another romp. "Edward, I've been thoroughly and properly fucked. I'll be feeling this ache for days, and it's exactly what I want…don't you get it?" She wrapped her arms around my waist and looked at me like I was incompetent. "I'm going to feel you inside of me…even when you can't be there. It's what I want…what I always fucking want," she whispered intently.

_What I always fucking want._

Then it was what I'd always fucking give her.

***BPOV***

I honestly and truly had no fucking clue how I was going to go back to class after the pounding I had just received.

_Christ._

I asked, and he delivered…ten thousand freaking times over.

_Christ._

I was stiff. I was sore. I ached and I burned. But it was so completely and utterly worth it. I smiled at the thought of the last forty minutes of my life. _So good._

I laid my head on Edward's chest, holding his hand above my face and watching the light dance off of his skin. It was official…he _could_ be more beautiful.

He leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "You've got twelve minutes, Bella."

I rolled over to my stomach and ran my eyes up and down his shimmering body. "Your family really wants to meet me?"

He shrugged and traced my cheek with his fingers. "You're with me now. It's inevitable that you'll be introduced. Why prolong it?"

"I'm _with_ you?" I snorted, popping a piece of muffin into my mouth. "What the hell does that mean?"

His smile was crooked and spectacular as he gazed down at me. "Are you asking me to define us, Bella?"

"No," I answered quickly, fixing my eyes on the planes of his stomach. I broke off another part of my muffin and placed it above his belly button. I leaned over and ate it off of his skin, my teeth digging in as I scraped it off of him. He let out a burst of air and squirmed underneath me.

No fucking way.

I climbed up his body until we were face to face. "Are you ticklish?" I asked incredulously.

"That's preposterous," he growled offhandedly, a smile threatening to turn his lips. I laughed even louder, until he began tickling my sides. I wiggled and slapped at his hands, trying to get him to let me go.

He finally relented and I leaned down to kiss his lips. He looked at me for a few seconds, his gaze long and penetrating before he reached beside him and picked up the banana he brought me. "You need to eat more," he murmured against my lips.

He peeled it slowly and brought it to my mouth, watching me intently as he slipped it inside. I suddenly knew just what I wanted a taste of. I played it up all sex kitten like, sliding it slowly into my mouth and giving him a few bats of my eyelashes. His other hand slid up my shirt and began drawing circles along my back. Yeah, I had him right where I wanted him.

I swallowed my bite and slid down his body, bringing my lips right against the delicious cock that was straining against his jeans. I licked the expanse of hair underneath his belly button and met his burning stare. "Let me," I whispered.

"Bella…" he moaned in pleasure, even though his tone was disapproving.

I popped the button of his jeans and slid the zipper down, releasing his rock hard cock and holding it firmly in my hands. I gave him a few strokes, groaning at the sweet scent of his flesh, mixed in with my own arousal that covered him. I stared at him in wonderment, the tiny diamonds in his skin causing his cock to shine beautifully in the sun. "I like you…in the sunlight."

"Fuck," he muttered, moving the hair away from my face. I went back to the task at hand, pushing my tongue against the head of his cock and greedily tasting the sticky fluid that covered him. My eyes rolled back in my head. How the fuck did _that_ taste so damn good?

"We need to get you back." His voice was strained and unconvincing. "You've got eight minutes."

"I'll make you cum in three," I whispered darkly, dragging my tongue down his shaft.

"Bella, I swear to God," he growled in frustration, running his fingers through his hair. "If I fucking hurt you…"

"Edward, I'm not her. I'm not the girl you killed. This is more…what we have is more, isn't it?" I searched his eyes a moment before I continued. "You won't hurt me," I assured him, stroking his cock slowly. "Keep your hips planted to the ground and just feel it….feel _me_."

"Come here," he murmured softly, grabbing my hand and pulling me up to him. He kissed my lips gently, like every instant our skin touched was a moment he was savoring. "This _is_ more, Bella. This is fucking _everything_." He kissed me once more, his fingers rubbing gently along the pulse of my wrist. "Go slow," he whispered heavily.

I smiled wider than the Cheshire cat, sliding back down his body and very leisurely lowering my mouth around his swollen cock, taking my time so I didn't catch him off guard. His fingers ghosted across my forehead before tracing along my jaw and rubbing my bottom lip where I took him inside of me. His breathing was labored as he gazed down at me. I swirled my tongue against him slowly before coming back up and releasing him with a pop. "Still okay?" I whispered softly.

"Yes," he groaned. "Keep going."

I smiled hungrily.

I covered him with my mouth once more, relaxing my throat and taking him in as far as I could. I moaned as I heard his fingers dig into the hard ground, struggling to stay in control. "Fucking hell, Bella," he panted, staring down at me intently. "Look at me."

I looked up at him from beneath my lashes, his tongue sweeping across his bottom lip as he gazed at me. "You're lips look fucking perfect, wrapped around my cock," he breathed, his hips trembling in an effort to hold still. "I want to fuck your mouth, Bella. Tell me…tell me I can't do that."

"No," I whispered. "You can't. Not yet anyway." I smiled deviously, anxious for the day where he could take me like he wanted to. Today was certainly one step closer…he enthusiastically demonstrated that he could ravage me without injuring me. I really wanted to further prove my theories on the matter, but reasoned with myself that he needed to take it slow.

Patience was definitely not one of my strong points.

I curled my fingers around the base of his shaft, working my mouth over him once more before sucking the fluid from the tip of his cock. And then I remembered how durable he was. How hard I squeezed his dick when we were in the auditorium. He could take more, and I was going to fucking give it to him.

I took him in my mouth as far as I could, groaning deeply as I swallowed him up. I looked into his eyes and dragged my teeth viciously along his shaft as I made my way back up. It would've had any human guy screaming in pain, but certainly not my vamp boy. No, he pretty much went ape shit for it.

His hips jerked from the ground, a sharp growl escaping his lips as he cursed repeatedly. "God damnit…you can't just _do_ that, Bella. Fuck! I can't…"

I didn't have time for remorse, because he was twitching so fucking violently in my hand, that I knew he was close. I brought him into my mouth, careful for my teeth, and sucked him fiercely, moaning and more than ready to swallow every fucking ounce of his fluid. He exploded around me very suddenly, moaning and clawing the earth and tensing so fucking severely as he shot his load into my mouth.

He tasted absolutely delicious.

I kept my lips locked around him until he came back down, panting and gasping as if the wind had been knocked right out of him.

I sat up and wiped my mouth, smiling broadly at myself in satisfaction.

_Job well done, Bella._

He leaned further up on his elbows and looked at me in amazement, no words falling from his lips.

"You okay there, big guy?" I smiled happily, running my fingers through his hair.

"I'm…yeah. Good," he chuckled, sitting up and leaning over to brush his lips against mine. "You taste like us," he breathed.

"Mmmm," I hummed against his lips, seeking out his tongue and stroking it with mine.

"Two minutes," he groaned against my mouth, pulling away from me after two chaste kisses to the lips.

Before I even knew what was happening, I was on his back, flying between the trees as he ran us to the border of the forest. He set me down and I wobbled to the side, my equilibrium off balance from the unnatural pace we had just moved at. He steadied me, holding my back to his chest as I righted my skirt and grabbed my sweater from the nearby tree. "Well, do I look freshly fucked?" I questioned, turning around and dreading his reply.

He ran his fingers through my hair and smirked at me like the evil, sexy boy he was. "A bit," was his reply.

I heard the ending lunch bell ring in the distance and I knew I would have to run to make it on time. He turned me around and pulled me against his body, hands on my hips and chest to my back as he walked me swiftly to the edge of the woods. "Go," he whispered into my ear, his tongue sweeping along my neck teasingly. "I'll be waiting for you."

I walked out into the open, moving quickly away from the only thing I ever wanted to be near.

"Bella?"

I looked back as he called my name, and the look on his face was breathtaking. "I'm keeping you."

The next moment he was gone, disappearing into the thick concealment of the woods.

I turned and ran towards the school, laughing giddily as the rays of sun warmed my skin. A sparkling cock and multiple orgasms have the tendency to put you in a good mood.

His words rang inside my head over and over again. _I'm keeping you._

I smiled widely. Little did he know, I was keeping him too.

**-x-x-x-**

**Aw. :) A little vampire fluff never did anyone any harm…if you can call that fluff…muahahaha!**

**I've got some pimping to do…these ladies are very dear twilighters of mine, and their talented work never fails to astound me.**

**Here's a no brainer…read Breaking Trinity. Mel pimps me so hard, her little heart nearly bursts from it. She writes such kind words about me, for me, to me, and no matter how I slice it, any amount of thank you will just look mediocre in comparison to the love she throws my way. Mel, just know I love you so much it's obscene, and you make me a better writer, plain and simple. I love you! Go read her story everyone, it's unreal. Linkage: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5379823/1/**

**I Don't Believe in Vampires by: LazyKate http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5462691/1/I_Dont_Believe_in_Vampires**

**The story is fuckhot but you gotta watch out for that author…the girl runs with kangaroos, it's all I'm sayin…**

**The Hot Corner by: LZTZ and D Pattinson. I love these ladies in copious amounts! Check out their story, it is all kinds of sooo gooooood. http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5282168/1/The_Hot_Corner**

**My friend Deb has started a sequel to her first story, Broken Angel! Here is some linkage! Yay! :D Angel's Embrace by: DRotuno http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5564546/1/Angels_Embrace**

**Please show my girls some love, they deserve it!**

**Twitter=Brits23**

**Laid Bare forum on twilighted: **

**http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=7529**

**And just because this end note couldn't get any longer….I've had quite a few of you ask me when the epi for SaDT's EPOV will be up. I'm gonna go ahead and give it about a week and a half before it makes its debut. Sorry for the wait ladies, but I gotta make it shine and all that. :D**

**Thanks for reading…won't you drop me a line and tell me what you thought? I do believe a dinner with the vamps is on the horizon, and there surely won't be a dull moment. Review if you love me, Rec if you love Bitey! Thanks again!**

**P.S. Vampire jizz _does _indeed sparkle in the sun. That is all.**

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	7. Normal

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**So are we all rested up from the New Year? Man, someone needs to tell me I'm not 21 anymore…sweet merciful Christ. *shakes head***

**Anyway, thanks to Isabel for pointing out a seriously lacking area in this chapter. It's a great comfort knowing you always have my back hon. Love you!**

**And big kisses to my Mel. I miss her very much, but I'm so glad she's taking a much needed breather with her man. Love you Mel!!!!!**

**And thanks to every reader and every reviewer…your support means a lot!!**

**And here we go!**

**P.S. This chappie got really looooong, so settle in! :)**

* * *

***BPOV***

The second the last bell rang on Friday afternoon, I swear I heard the angels singing on a fucking celestial high. I sighed roughly, pushing my fingers through my hair and scanning the front of the school for the bronze hair and pale skin I knew wouldn't be there.

_Stupid fucking sun._

Edward hadn't been in school for three days. Three dreadful days of brightness and clear blue skies. I used to enjoy it—now I fucking resented it. It didn't help that Charlie had taken the past two days off of work. He wanted to spend time with me since he felt like he was neglecting me or some shit. It was actually kind of sweet and I never minded spending time with my old man. But my need….God, my fucking _need_ for all things Edward. It hurt…really fucking deep inside of me not to be with him. Between the Charlie bonding time and the God damned sun, there just weren't enough hours in the day to be wrapped around him.

Not to mention, I really needed his calming presence to settle me the fuck down…because tonight was the night I met his family.

Thankfully he still came to me every night, but by the time I'd get up to my room, I'd usually be too tired to keep my eyes open. Whenever I did try to jump him, he'd lay down the cockblock because my dad was still awake downstairs. I told him what he could put in my mouth to shut me up, but he just smirked beautifully and told me to have patience.

Fuck patience.

We still had our lunch time rendezvous, but he was always second guessing himself…worrying he'd hurt me or take it too far. All he was doing was creating a fucking massive volcano inside of me. It was only a matter of time before we erupted. I was going to go _Mount God damn Vesuvius_ on his ass, taking everyone out in my wake of need and fucking desperation for Edward Cullen.

I was tearing that boy up so fucking hard tonight, he wouldn't even know what hit him. I smiled wickedly, making my way swiftly to my truck in the hopes that I could haul ass and get a few moments alone with him in my bed before my dad got back home.

I needed his teeth in my body. I wanted to suck my blood off his tongue again.

Yes, I realized that was all sorts of fucked up, but I still wanted it.

A clammy hand on my shoulder put a stop to that plan.

"Bella," Mike Newton said smoothly…or what he probably thought was smooth. "You should come to Port Angeles tonight and meet my crew. It's about time you live a little, don't you think, beautiful?"

I swallowed back the vomit that threatened to spew profusely from my mouth and steadied my innocent façade. "I'm not interested, thanks anyway."

"C'mon, Bella." He dropped his lips to my ear, swinging his arm around my shoulder. "We share a secret, you know. You skipped school. Why would a good girl like you skip school…huh?"

My heart started hammering unevenly and I wondered how a sweet and good natured person such as myself could get away with detaching Newton's tiny balls from his body and shoving them down his throat. "Mike, I didn't—"

He chuckled into my ear and I felt his hot breath on my cheek, making my skin prickle in disgust. "And what are you doing every lunch hour, disappearing into the woods and coming back all ruffled and satisfied?"

_Fuck_. I had no idea he was paying such close attention to me. And now, I was pissed. So God damn pissed that I was going to do something really stupid. Let it be a lesson to anyone who would listen…don't fuck with a stressed out, sexually deprived bitch who's having dinner with seven vampires in only a handful of hours. Yeah, so maybe my pent up aggravation had more to do with nerves rather than Newton's stupid face. Either way, I needed an outlet…and it was standing in front of me with spiky hair and baggy wanksta jeans.

"Come over here with me," I whispered shyly, grabbing his arm and pulling him around the corner of the school.

Mike practically looked like a peacock showing off his shiny fucking feathers as he licked his lips lazily and followed me around the corner.

I wasn't holding back any longer.

I shoved him into the brick building and slammed my hand over his crotch, my fingers curling around the insignificant bulge in his pants and squeezing with fervor. "Listen here, motherfucker. You wanna try threatening me with that petty bullshit? You wanna try to get me to go off to some party full of fucktards just so you can try to fucking date rape me or some shit? Well I have a newsflash for you. You have no idea just who the _fuck_ you're dealing with." My nails dug into his skin further with every word I spoke. "Tell anyone about this and I'll chop your fucking balls off and hang them from my rearview mirror like fuzzy fucking dice, you feel me, Newton?"

His eyes were wide and watering, his hands clenched into fists as he stared down at me. He nodded and I slammed him back further into the wall by my grip on his crotch. "I didn't hear you, Mike," I whispered sardonically.

"Fine, just fucking let go," he groaned through tight lips, his face beet red and his hands shaking.

I let go of him and he immediately cupped himself, doubling over and groaning like a pansy ass. I smiled sweetly, ruffling his hair and giggling softly. "Okay, Mike. Hope you have a great weekend," I chimed, skipping away.

"Fucking crazy bitch," he muttered, his eyes angry as he glared at me.

"Come on now," I smiled. "That isn't any way to talk to a lady, is it?"

I didn't pay him a second glance, just ran in the direction of my truck in a blind need to have some alone time with my vamp boy.

*

I pulled into my driveway and moaned eagerly when I saw Charlie's cruiser was missing from its parking spot. Edward had better be in my fucking room. I ran towards the front door, opening it hastily and racing up the stairs.

I threw my bedroom door open and was met with a lean, hard body sprawled out on my bed. He had pure evil in his eyes as he gazed up at me. "Get over here," he growled sinfully.

I walked straight towards him, a twisted grin on my face and fire in my eyes as I crawled over him on the bed and pulled his hair into my fists. Hard. Really fucking hard. His whole body vibrated against me, lips parted and fingers digging into my skin as we stared at each other. We didn't need to speak, because we already knew what we needed. _Mount fucking Vesuvius_, remember?

A deep, humming growl escaped his lips as I straddled his legs and dragged my tongue across his mouth. He parted for me, grabbing my ass and pulling me flesh against him as our tongues twisted heavily in the air between us. I pushed myself down on his erection, moaning as I felt the solid cock I was desperate to have inside of me.

I tore his shirt over his head and crashed my lips to his. "Fuck me," I demanded, unbuttoning his pants and unzipping them hastily.

"Oh, Bella," He chuckled darkly, unclasping my jeans swiftly and sliding his hand between my legs. "You have no idea just how hard I'm going to fuck you."

I groaned as he slid two fingers inside my body, pushing so deep it caused me to rise up off his lap. I cried out loudly and crashed my forehead against his as he fucked me with his fingers. "I want your cock," I whimpered frantically, dragging my fingernails over his massive erection.

His groan reverberated through his chest as he sucked on my throat viciously. A moment later I was thrown down on the mattress, hands pinned above my head as he covered my body with his. "You want my cock?" His voice was heavy and thick with sex as his cool whisper traveled along my skin.

I closed my eyes and nodded viciously, trying to control my erratic breathing as I rubbed my thighs together. I needed to cum so fucking bad it hurt. He grabbed my thighs and spread them wide, pushing his denim covered cock against my aching center. "You want it right here?" he whispered darkly, torturing me with everything I ever fucking needed in that moment.

"Please," I begged, pulling on his bronze strands and pleading with him to end the fucking suffering.

He gripped my waistband tightly, tearing it away from my skin and exposing my saturated heat. His lust-heavy eyes met mine and his face was twisted in pain. "I can't….wait," he gritted between his teeth, diving his fingers inside of me once more.

I couldn't let him feel guilty for something that I wanted just as badly. I held his face in my hands, kissing him wetly as I looked up at him. "It's okay," I panted. "Rip yours too, just take me…please fucking take me."

His pants were down his thighs before I even finished my sentence, his fingers curling inside of me as his lips brushed against mine. "Do you have any fucking idea what you created inside of me the moment you defied Mike Newton? Do you know how fucking close I was to exposing myself and coming to you? How close I was to murdering him?"

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "How did you….fuck!" I cried out as he removed his fingers from me and slammed the head of his cock against my clit. He ran his tongue along my bottom lip before growling deeply, the sound vibrating against my skin. "I'm gonna pound your little pussy so fucking good, you'll _never _forget who you belong to."

I cried out loudly as he ran his cock up and down my slit. "Edward," I whimpered, teetering on the edge of control as he drenched himself with my juices.

"So wet for me," he murmured. "So fucking ready…"

He froze above me suddenly, his nostrils flaring as his head tipped to the side. "You have got to be fucking kidding me!" he spat, stilling himself against me before looking down into my eyes. "Your father is moments away," he whispered breathlessly, slowly thrusting his hips against mine.

He pulled away from me slightly and I groaned in agony at the prospect of stopping now. We were too fucking close. "You have to keep going," I begged, pulling at my hair as I heard my dad's engine shut off.

He looked at me desperately, stroking his cock with one hand and massaging my hot, wet skin with the other. I heard the front door slam. Edward tore my sheets in two, a silent roar escaping his lips. Before I knew it my back was pressed tightly against the wall, his glistening fingers sliding up my body, over my chin and between my lips. "Taste us," he murmured against my jaw, his tongue running slowly along my heated cheek. "Savor the way you taste on my cock. Fucking hold onto it, Bella. Because I'm going to be buried deep and God damn hard inside of you the very moment I'm able. Suck it off of my fingers…harder!" he growled viciously.

I heard my dad calling for me distantly over my urgent panting and desperate moans around Edward's fingers. I sucked them as hard as I could, frantic to do what he asked of me….crazed to absorb the taste of his skin onto my tongue.

He slid his fingers out of my mouth slowly and I cried out against him. "Edward, you can't fucking stop now! Please," I begged, pulling at his hips desperately and nearly crying in my need for him to take me. "I can't breathe, I need you…fuck, I can't…" I drifted off, crashing my forehead to his chest as I trembled against him.

"Bella." Edward's voice was strangled as he slid the back of his hand across my cheek and lifted my chin until I met his gaze. He pressed his lips softly to mine and looked deeply into my eyes. "We can't…"

"Stay with me," I pleaded quietly in one final attempt to keep him. "Please…"

"Bella?" Charlie called once more from the lower level of the house.

Edward's gaze penetrated mine, his frantic eyes searching for the answer. A second later my body was turned against the wall, chest pressing against the cool paint as his hand slid underneath my body and stroked my jaw. "Tell him you'll be right down," he whispered darkly, aligning his hard body with mine. I felt his cock pressing against the swell of my ass, promising to give me everything I've ever desired.

"Dad, I'm changing," my voice wavered in a slightly higher octave than normal. "I'll be down in a minute."

"Okay, Bells," he called.

_Fuck yes._

Edward's fingers slid gently over my lips before he clamped his palm over my mouth. "One fucking sound, beloved, and I won't let you cum," he murmured forcefully into my ear, his tongue dragging along my neck as he wrapped my leg around his waist behind me and slid on home.

I moaned loudly against his hand, my legs threatening to give out as he pushed all the way inside of me. He held my hip, steadying my unstable frame as he gave me a few slow pumps. He pushed my hair away from my neck and whispered soft pants of air across my skin. "Remember when I fucked you in the woods, Bella? Remember how fast you wanted it?"

I moaned against his hand, thrusting my hips back and bringing him deeper inside me. He hissed sharply against my shoulder. "Well you better fucking hold on tight, because this is going to be much…_much_ faster."

I pushed my forehead against the wall and held the arm that crushed me against him, groaning into his hand as he slammed inside of me fervently, repeatedly, inhumanly. I couldn't even imagine what it looked like, his cock pumping me so quickly it was like he never left my body. Like he was just vibrating inside me. I wanted to scream, I wanted to thrash, but instead I closed my eyes and felt his body hum in exertion as he gave himself to me not under human restraint, but as a vampire. He was letting go, he was giving into his natural instincts…and he wasn't hurting me one bit.

Quite the fucking opposite, actually.

I felt my climax building so violently I could have brought down the fucking house with the forbidden urge to writhe and scream. I resisted…just fucking barely. Edward's chest was in constant pulsation, his growling and groaning so low in his throat, only I could hear it and feel it. "Are you ready?" he whispered heavily into my ear, lips wet and tongue urgent against my neck. My nails dug into his arm as he thrust his hips against me so viciously, the frenzied slapping of our skin rang out loudly in the air between us.

I nodded fervently, his arm picking me up and slamming me down on his cock as I felt his cool liquid fill me up over and over again. I tensed, every ache and burn of my body exploding around me in a white light of rapture.

I didn't make a fucking sound.

He pumped inside of me slowly, bringing us down and removing his hand from my mouth, kissing every inch of my skin he could reach as he stroked my body reverently.

He turned me in his arms and cradled my face, his eyes holding so much more than I could ever begin to understand. "I have to leave you."

I furrowed my brow…I knew he had to, but it was fucking agonizing every time he left. Especially now. "I know," I sighed, reaching up and kissing his lips.

He pushed me back against the wall and kissed me deeply, his mouth slow and heavy against my lips. He broke away and pressed his forehead against mine, his eyes closing tightly. "I'm bound and _fucking_ tied, Bella."

His voice was intense, agonized, tortured with something he obviously couldn't grasp. Maybe I couldn't either. All I knew was the desperation in his tone and the fire in his eyes made me feel something so undeniably real, I never wanted it to stop.

"Edward…" My voice wavered with the intensity of his name.

_Knock, Knock._

"Bells? You in there?"

I lunged myself away from the wall, the pounding on my door scaring the ever living shit out of me.

And instantly, he was gone.

My body was empty and heaving and burning alive without having him on me. It was too fucking much. I ran my tongue along my bottom lip, drowning myself in the taste of him on my skin. "Yeah, Dad. I'm coming." My voice was a low whine as I struggled to come down from the overwhelming emotions I'd just experienced.

"Come out here, hon. I wanna talk to you."

I pulled my fingers through my hair, scratching along my scalp as I eased my racing heart. "Daddy, I said before that I was changing. Just give me one more minute."

I heard him walk away, muttering something about teenage girls as his work boots stomped loudly down each wooden step.

I curled up in my bed and tangled in the shredded sheets, taking hits of his scent from the fabric, and urging myself not to pass out from the heady need that was chipping away at my sanity every second he was away from me.

I could never get enough.

*

***EPOV***

"So it's the brown haired girl? The smart one that hangs out with the other smart one?"

I rolled my eyes and fought to keep my temper with my narrow minded brother. "Her name is Bella. And there's much more to her than what meets the eye…trust me, Emmett."

My cock twitched in agreement.

I buttoned the top two buttons of my black shirt, and then unfastened them again. Either I looked like a prude or a sleazy car salesman. Was there ever a happy medium? With a huff, I left the top buttons undone, running my fingers roughly through my hair.

Alice jumped on my back and giggled in my ear. "You're nervous," she teased in a sing-song voice.

I rolled my eyes and tossed her over my shoulder. She landed gracefully in front of me and called me a barbarian. "I'm incapable of being nervous, Alice," I scoffed, swallowing thickly and running my fingers through my hair once more.

Alice smiled widely and walked away with an all-knowing grin on her face. Ludicrous.

Emmett threw a heaving arm over my shoulder, and the physical contact with my family still unnerved me somewhat. "So she's the hot, brainy type? Like with glasses and a plaid skirt? Naughty school girl? Come on, bro, you've got to give me something."

My lips threatened to turn upward, but I fought the urge. How could I ever begin to explain someone such as Bella? "You'll just have to wait and see for yourself, Emmett." I shrugged out of his grip and clapped him on the shoulder before heading towards the door.

Bella was planning on driving to our home, but I wanted to retrieve her myself. There was still a gentleman somewhere deep down inside of me. Although he surely wasn't present earlier this afternoon when I fucked her against the wall. My breathing faltered as I thought back to the need that had boiled in my veins.

When Alice's vision of Mike Newton harassing Bella assaulted my mind, I'd never felt more at odds with my vampirism. I had decided then to ignore every rule I'd ever known and go to her, consequences be damned. Alice practically had to drop kick me against the wall before she got me to listen to her.

"Edward, don't be daft!" she chastised, grabbing the collar of my shirt. "You take one step into the sun and you've ruined everything for us…as well as Bella."

She had my attention.

Alice smirked and told me to just watch her mind's eye. I growled sharply as Bella gave Newton her best come fuck me look and lured him around the building. The second she verbally—and physically—assaulted him, I felt this immense amount of pride swelling in my chest. My human girl knew how to handle herself, and the sight of her telling Newton where to go made me so fucking aroused, I could barely control myself. I needed to take her. Hard and fast.

The need to protect Bella and seek vengeance on Newton still rippled throughout my body, but my lust for her overshadowed all that. She was _mine_…and I was going to fucking prove it to her.

I proved it to her right up against the wall. Repeatedly. Spectacularly.

It made me hard just thinking about it.

It had been a handful of hours, and I was already so desperate to consume her. I was going to taste her tonight. Drink the succulent liquid from her veins and let it warm my body and fill me with the very essence that was _Bella_. I was so fucking ready.

_Edward?_

Alice's thoughts caught me before I left to collect my most prized possession. "Yes?"

_This is the right thing to do. Apart from Rose, she'll captivate everyone. _

Alice giggled and covered her mouth.

_Tonight will be quite an adventure._

I couldn't help but smile crookedly. "See you soon, Alice."

I waited along the tree line outside of Bella's home, smiling at the uneven pattern her heart was thumping, and the heavy breathing she couldn't quite get under control.

She was nervous as well.

I watched her through her father's eyes, her clothing accentuating the very spirit of what she was. Sweet and devious and absolutely enchanting. She wore a charcoal skirt, not short enough to be classified as mini, but certainly small enough to cause me torment for the evening. She paired it with a form fitting black cardigan sweater that clung to her breasts so perfectly I had to adjust myself through my grey dress pants. It occurred to me then that we very nearly matched in attire.

To the outsider she was clothed modestly. To me, she was dressed like the devil herself. I'd lick every inch of her flawless skin tonight.

"So you're friends with the new Cullen girl," Chief Swan speculated.

"Yeah, Daddy," Bella said innocently. "I'm having dinner with her family tonight, remember?"

Charlie heaved a large sigh as he stroked his mustache. "I remember Bells, but you seem kinda nervous. And you're all dressed up…just for dinner with one of your girlfriends? You got a crush on one of Alice's brothers or something?"

I laughed out loud at her father's inquisition, and I could smell the blush rising along her skin.

"No, Dad," she said exasperatedly. "I'm going to be late for dinner. I'll be home later, alright?"

"That's fine, hon. I probably won't be home until late. Billy and I were supposed to go fishing down at the rez, but he wanted to go to Port Angeles for some car part instead. We'll probably stop off for a few beers while we're there."

Hmm…an empty house with my beloved spread out naked before me. This dinner could not be over with soon enough.

I heard the front door open and shut and my dead heart sprang to life. I stepped into the line of sight, still off to the side of the house in case her father planned on watching her. I listened momentarily and realized he was far too engrossed in devouring an entire pizza to interrupt us. I walked to her at a leisurely human pace, allowing her to overcome each one of my senses.

Every moment she was mine was a moment of pure fucking magnificence.

I closed the distance in a blur, holding her wrist delicately in my hand. She gasped in surprise, and I pulled her back against my chest. Her body relaxed immediately. "I didn't mean to frighten you," I murmured, placing wet, lazy kisses along her jaw.

She sighed deeply, her chest rising and falling dramatically as she intertwined her fingers with mine. "I swear, Edward, it is so fucking hard to breathe when you aren't with me."

I turned her around, pulling her to the side of the house and crushing her against my body. I held her as tightly as I could without damaging her, replaying in my mind the fervor in which she spoke my name. "It's the same for me, Bella. I'm nothing…there _is_ nothing, until I have you beside me."

"Yeah?" she questioned against my lips, her hands sliding around my waist and bunching the material of my shirt against my back. "What about on top of you?"

"Mmmm, that's what I prefer the most," I murmured, kissing her mouth gently before sliding my tongue between her lips, drowning in the taste of the girl who meant everything to me. She pulled herself tighter against me, her fingers sliding up to grab my hand and bring it over her tight ass. I smiled against her lips. "Don't start, you evil girl. I suppose you look so appetizing tonight just to torture me?"

She giggled and ran my hand past her ass to grasp her bare thigh. "I've got other ways to torture you," she whispered against my open mouth. I groaned as she slid my hand beneath her skirt. I was met with warm skin, and absolutely nothing keeping me from all I've ever desired.

I swirled her around and pressed her back against my chest as I walked her swiftly towards her truck. "Do you have any idea what I'm going to do to you tonight, beloved?"

I threw the truck door open and lifted her inside, a small squeal escaping her lips from the sudden movement. "Why don't you tell me?" she purred, looking up at me beneath her lashes and spreading her knees slightly…just enough for the scent of her arousal to permeate the air between us.

I growled deep in my throat, my hands falling to either side of her on the seat as I licked her mostly healed bite. "I'm going to make you cum until you beg me to stop," I murmured darkly, tempted to take my teeth to her succulent flesh. She exhaled unevenly and with inhuman speed, I slid my hand up her inner thigh and ghosted along the wet skin between her legs. I growled at the touch of her heat and how soaked she was for me after mere moments of being together.

I leaned down and kissed her lips chastely as she let out a breathy moan. "Behave yourself tonight, Bella. It's impossible to keep secrets from vampires, and unless you want my entire family to know you're being finger fucked beneath the dining room table, I suggest you keep your beautiful fucking legs crossed while at dinner."

"Edward," she whimpered, grasping my wrist and urging my hand further against her.

"You can be a good girl, can't you, Bella?" I whispered heavily as I pulled my hand away from her deliciously wet skin. My eyes smoldered into hers, never breaking our stare as I slid two fingers inside my mouth, tasting pure, sweet salvation. I leaned down and let my wet lips caress her ear. "I'll taste your sweet pussy on my tongue all fucking night, beloved. And I'll be devouring it later."

The next moment I slammed her door and chuckled as I heard her mutter a breathless "holy fuck" from inside the cab of the truck.

This night would prove to be an interesting one, without a doubt.

*

***BPOV***

Edward killed the engine, and it was eerily silent as he tucked my keys into his pocket. He looked deep in thought, running his fingers through his hair before letting out a large sigh. "Come here," he spoke softly.

I slid across the seat, closing my eyes in contentment the moment he encircled me in his arms. He stared at me for an immeasurable amount of time, his honey eyes sparkling and full of so many things that I hadn't even discovered yet. I couldn't stop myself from leaning up and kissing him gently on the lips. "What is it?" I whispered, running my thumb along the indent of his chin.

He picked my hand up and kissed it softly before placing it against his cheek. "Do me a favor?" he questioned, his voice so hushed it was barely even a whisper.

My heart was sputtering out of control and my stomach was twisting into knots…was it from the way he was looking at me or the impending dinner with his family?

He leaned down to kiss my lips and I knew the answer immediately. "I'd do anything for you…you already know that."

He smiled crookedly, intertwining our fingers and staring at them like they had all the answers. "I know." He was being so gentle and calm in the moment, and I couldn't understand how we went from hot and passionate to slow and meaningful in only a handful of minutes. "Bella…will you please be yourself tonight?" I looked at him questioningly, and he continued. "I don't want them to meet Daddy's girl, or the hard ass that runs with Quileute boys. I just want _you_…you're all I've ever wanted, beloved. And I want my family to know the real you. To see what I see, every time I look at you."

I pulled him by the collar of his shirt, twisting my fingers in his hair as I brought him closer. "Edward," his perfect name caught in my throat as I tried to work through exactly what I wanted to say. "I don't want to be anything else but yours. The only time I feel real is when I'm with you."

He pulled me in his lap rapidly, crushing our bodies together as he breathed heavily against my skin. "You will always be mine, Bella."

I dropped my head to his shoulder, ready to burst from the sheer magnitude of everything I felt in his presence. "Edward, I just…don't even know—"

"Hey," he murmured, lifting my chin until our eyes met once more. "We've got time. Remember what you told me? Don't try so hard to define it. Just embrace it." He smiled warmly at me, running his fingers gently through my hair as my breathing settled. "Are you ready for this?"

I chuckled nervously. "As ready as I'll ever be."

"It's not too late to change your mind." He picked up my hand and ran his tongue along my knuckles before kissing it wetly, causing my stomach muscles to clench tightly in longing.

"Look who's evil now," I smirked, biting his lip before crawling off of his lap. "Come on, it's time to meet the 'rents."

*

His grip on my hand was nearly painful as we entered the foyer. Immediately Alice was standing in front of us, bouncing on the balls of her feet. She let out a long whistle. "Wow, Bella. Look at that outfit. A human girl who knows how to dress…it's shocking really."

I shrugged. "Just a little something, something," I smirked as she twirled me around by the hand.

"Do you like to shop?" Alice questioned with one quirked brow.

"When I have Daddy's credit card," I winked, bumping her shoulder with mine.

She pulled me away from Edward quickly, our fingers reluctantly detaching as she rushed me away. "Oh God, where have you been all my life," she groaned, dragging me to the sofa and plopping down next to me. She picked up my hands and observed them closely. "You need a mani," she mused.

I snorted, rolling my eyes dramatically. "And you need a freaking Ritalin pill…"

It wasn't until I heard a round of soft laughter that I realized there were five other vampires in the room besides Edward and Alice. My eyes went wide and I hopped up from the couch, smoothing my skirt and fidgeting rather awkwardly. Edward's hand was on the small of my back the next moment, his fingers drawing soothing circles along my spine. "Bella, I'd like you to meet my family. Carlisle…"

Edward paused, allowing the blonde and desperately gorgeous man to my left to approach me slowly. He took my hand and kissed it. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Bella."

"The pleasure's all mine," I murmured distantly, watching the way his lips moved as he spoke so graciously.

Edward cleared his throat and shot me a playfully chastising look before continuing. "Carlisle's wife, Esme."

The most beautiful woman I'd ever seen glided over towards me, her smile warm and her eyes dancing happily as she pulled me into her embrace. "Bella," she whispered like my name was sacred. "Thank you for coming tonight, honey."

I couldn't help but smile wide enough to make my face hurt. She smelled like pumpkin spice and her whole demeanor reminded me of something I'd tried to ignore for the past five years. Mother. She was a mother. I disregarded my stinging eyes and squeezed her tightly. "I'm so glad you invited me, Esme. Thank you." My voice was raspy and full of something deeper than politeness.

She went back to Carlisle, slipping her arm beneath his and laying her head on his shoulder, her eyes still not leaving mine.

"My brother and Alice's husband, Jasper." Edward's mouth was right against my ear, and when I looked up at him, his eyes were shining brightly. I turned to Jasper, who remained standing across the room. He nodded his head once and smiled genuinely. "Hello, Bella."

"It's nothing personal, beloved. You just smell so tempting." Edward's words were barely spoken into my ear but it was obvious everyone heard it from the way they smiled and bowed their heads. I blushed fiercely as he continued. "My brother, Emmett."

I recognized him from school immediately, since he was the biggest fucking guy I had ever seen. He came bounding over and stopped in front of me, rubbing his chin and observing me curiously. "Hmm…definitely naughty school girl." I heard Edward grumble behind me as Emmett pulled me into his chest and gave me a brief squeeze. "Welcome to the coven, Ms. Swan. We've got your coffin all set up for ya in the basement."

"God, I wish you would have said something, Emmett. I brought my own…it's in the back of my truck," I deadpanned, nodding towards the front door.

He stared at me incredulously for a moment before doubling over in laughter. "Well played, Ms. Swan, well played."

He gave me a knuckle bump before walking back to a vaguely familiar blonde girl who I had seen a handful of times at school. I smiled at her until I took in the expression on her face. I immediately felt like throwing some holy water on her and yelling "the power of Christ compels you!"

Edward's hands sat on my hips as he exhaled deeply. "And that is Emmett's wife…Rosalie."

She looked me up and down, the sneer never leaving her face. I chuckled softly, having no God damn tolerance for snarky bitches. "It's nice to meet you, Rosalie. Love the dress."

I enjoyed being patronizingly sweet to people who despised me for no fucking reason.

She didn't say a word to me, and I shrugged it off. Six out of seven sure as hell isn't bad.

"Rosalie." Carlisle's voice was smooth and authoritative. Everyone turned to look at him as he commanded the room. "Bella is our guest, and you will treat her as such."

She rolled her eyes before looking at me like she had a sour taste on her tongue. "So nice to meet you, _Bella_. Tell me, do you have any favorite pastimes besides fucking my brother and ruining the lives of perfectly contented vampires?"

My eyes widened, and my initial reaction was to tell her where the fuck she could shove it. But I looked around the room, seeing the people who could potentially be of great importance to me. People who already accepted me so willingly and I wasn't going to jeopardize that because of my hotheaded temper towards the ice cold vamp-bitch.

Carlisle and Emmett both called her name in harsh tones, and suddenly I felt a strong calming wave wash over me. Then I remembered what Edward said about Jasper's ability, and decided to just ignore the one with the giant stick shoved up her ass. "Are you working your voodoo on me, sir?" I questioned, pointing an accusing finger at Jasper.

He smiled and let out a small chuckle. "I just might be, ma'am."

I laughed delightfully at his charming southern accent. "Why I do declare," I murmured, causing Alice to throw her arms around my waist and effectively detach me from Edward's hold.

"I know right, my man is smooth," she whispered, pulling me towards the dining room. "Don't mind Rose, she's kind of at her peak when she's the most miserable."

I turned around to see the others talking harshly and quietly with Rosalie, and a pang of guilt washed through me. "I feel like shit for tearing your family up just because I'm all about your brother," I murmured despondently.

Alice stopped walking and held me at arm's length, looking at me like I had three heads. "Bella, don't you understand? You aren't tearing us apart…you're putting us back together. Edward's coming back to us, because of you. You just don't know how important you are," she whispered intently.

I felt Edward's solid body behind me and I leaned back into him, my eyes never leaving Alice's. "He's important too," I spoke softly as he turned me in his arms and gazed deeply into my eyes.

"Alice, Esme asked me to send you into the kitchen. She doesn't know if pesto should turn such a shade of green." His voice was a broken murmur, his eyes never leaving mine as he spoke to his sister. She was gone in the next instance, leaving me alone with my vamp boy.

He held his breath as he kissed me deeply, his lips squeezing mine with such fervor it nearly stung. "I'm sorry about Rosalie—"

I put my hand on his chest to stop him. "Believe me, Edward, I can handle Rosalie. Don't even worry about it. The rest of your family…" I drifted off and shook my head, trying to find the right words to describe them. "They are absolutely perfect. We're hanging out over here from now on, screw my boring house."

He chuckled, sliding his hands around my waist and pulling me against him. "Well then, I'll have to keep your mouth covered every time I touch you, Bella. There's not much that goes unheard in this house."

"Or we could outdo them," I murmured against his lips, standing on my tiptoes and kissing him once more.

Edward groaned and slid his hands down to my ass. "You are unbelievable," he breathed heavily against my neck, sliding his tongue along my bite.

I heard a harsh _Jesus Christ_ muttered from behind me, and it was apparent to me that the ice bitch had come back for more. Before I could speak to her, Edward was standing in front of me. "Don't you fucking dare," he spat at Rosalie, shaking his head from side to side threateningly.

"Look, I was told to come in here and apologize, but I won't. You know she'll expose us, Edward. Either she'll talk or you'll drain her or you'll fuck her to death. Humans don't know the meaning of nobility. She can't be trusted."

I stepped out from behind Edward, a twisted grin on my face, because now she really pissed me off. Edward tried to pull me behind him once more but I shot him an exasperated look. "It's not like I'm gonna try to punch her, Edward. I'd just break my hand on her rock hard fucking cranium."

She growled at me viciously and I put my hands up. "Listen, Rosalie. You don't have to like me, and as far as I'm concerned, you can think whatever the hell you want about me and my "nobility." But I have no desire to discuss private matters with anyone, because it's no one's fucking business but ours. And furthermore, you've described my relationship with Edward as "fucking" twice now. Do you really think I'd be in so God damn deep if all we were doing was "fucking"? Give me a break. How old are you, like eighty or some shit? I'd say it's about time you grow up."

The next instant she flew at me, Edward catching her by the neck as she snarled and fought against him. "You won't touch a fucking hair on her head," he growled deeply, walking her out of the room by his grip on her throat.

He walked her all the way to the front door, arguing with her and demanding that she leave to go hunt. Suddenly Emmett was standing next to me, gazing over at his wife with a concerned expression on his face. He looked down at me and his features softened. "You handed her ass to her, and she needed it. I love that woman like crazy, but she's got to understand that she's not always right." He put a hand on my shoulder and leaned down closer. "Let me go deal with my lady and I'll be back for, um, dinner."

I nodded, not really knowing what to say as he left the room in a blur. As if they were playing musical vampires, Esme was the next to join me in the abandoned dining room. She smiled at me hesitantly. "I'm so sorry about Rosalie."

I shook my head, waving it off. "It's nothing. I'm sorry for disrespecting a member of the family on my first night here, but the way she spoke about Edward and I…it really aggravated me, to say the least," I chuckled, shaking my head.

She grabbed my hands, her fingers cold and comforting. _Mother_. I felt like crying again. "You've done nothing wrong, Bella. You had every right to defend your relationship with Edward. Don't lose your ground just because she's a vampire," Esme scoffed, flashing me an unwavering look.

I rolled my eyes playfully, nodding my head in agreement. "You say that now, but my mouth tends to get me into trouble sometimes."

Esme squeezed my shoulders and smiled slightly, her eyes full of emotion as she looked at me. "We need a little trouble every now and then. Bella, you've brought my son back to me. All I want to do is embrace the girl that has captivated Edward in such a way. You are the glue holding us all together. Do you know how special you are?"

I felt my face redden, not used to so many heavy compliments in such a short amount of time. "I just know I can't be without him." My voice was barely a whisper, and I'd never spoken anything truer. He was behind me then. I felt his body shaking before he even made physical contact with me.

Esme looked over my head sympathetically before squeezing my hands once more. "Well, I've left Alice unattended in the kitchen for far too long. Your dinner may very well be charcoal by now," she laughed.

"Thank you, Esme," I smiled softly as Edward's arms encircled me.

Her eyes danced between the two of us, and the glee on her face was prominent. "No, Bella. Thank _you_."

I turned to face Edward as she exited the room, his eyes full of fire and fury as he gazed down at me. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

I shook my head vigorously. "No, please don't. I don't care. I mean I get it, I'm a threat. She just doesn't understand…she has no way of knowing how much this means."

"Bella…" He hesitated, his face twisted in an emotion I couldn't exactly read.

"Hey," I murmured, bringing my hands to the sides of his neck. "I just want you, Edward. I don't care if you're a vampire or Bigfoot or the God damn Easter Bunny. I just want you…that's it."

His smile was breathtaking as he pulled me closer and kissed the tip of my nose. "The Easter Bunny?" he questioned teasingly. "You'd still want me if I was a giant, gift bearing rabbit?"

I giggled. "Yeah, pretty much."

He kissed me deeply, his tongue reaching out and stroking along my bottom lip delicately. "Hmm," he hummed against my mouth. "How do you always taste so utterly appetizing?"

"Dinnertime!" Alice called as she entered the room holding a large steaming bowl of pasta.

Edward began pulling away as the rest of the family entered the room, but I stopped him, grabbing him and bringing my lips to his ear. "You can have your dinner later," I whispered heavily, stroking the shell of his ear with my tongue.

I walked towards the table and couldn't help but chuckle when I heard him mutter "evil girl" as he ran his fingers through his hair.

*

I looked at the single place setting in front of me, observing the steaming heap of pasta piled onto my plate. I then looked around the table, seeing that every one of them was staring at me with nothing in front of them. While I knew they didn't eat, I really didn't think about the logistics of how this dinner would go. "Okay," I said hesitantly. "So you're all going to watch me eat then?"

There was a general hum of agreement around the table and I exhaled unevenly. "Are you sure you don't want me to run out to the woods real quick and find you a nice animal carcass?"

They all chuckled genuinely, Edward's hand rising up to stroke along my bite mark as he smiled at me warmly. I sucked it up and began eating as we all conversed around the table. After a few moments, the fact that I was the only one eating barely registered in my mind.

"So Bella," Carlisle said kindly, "Why don't you tell us a little about yourself?"

I felt my heart start to race as I dropped my fork and wiped my mouth with my napkin. I immediately panicked, trying to think of a way to impress him enough to make myself worthy enough of someone like Edward. But I'd promised him I'd be myself, so that's exactly what I would do. Before I got a chance to answer, however, Alice jumped right in.

"Hmm, if my memory serves me correctly… contradicted human, dark in nature, masochistic vampire lover who swears like a—hey, that very nearly hurt!"

I kicked her under the table and winced, knowing she hurt me far worse than I hurt her. "Oh please, you didn't feel a thing, vamp girl." I rolled my eyes in exasperation while she mumbled _'well that's what you get for kicking a vampire, human.'_ I smirked at her and Emmett started chuckling at our expense. I shook my head and turned my attention back to Carlisle.

"_Anyway_, there's not really much to say about me. I love reading, and I couldn't even exist without music…or Edward for that matter." My eyes flew open when I registered the severely embarrassing words that spewed out of my mouth. I felt Edward's hand on my knee, stroking it slowly as he smirked and glanced at me out of the corner of his eye.

Carlisle looked at me with a penetrating gaze, his eyes full of heavy emotion as he observed us. I quickly powered through the awkwardness before I crawled under the table and refused to come out. "Um…yeah, anyway learning comes pretty easy for me, so I like to be challenged at school. And I enjoy hanging out with my dad…it's just the two of us now so I really feel the need to look out for him, ya know?"

I started rambling and I frowned slightly as I struggled to find my way back. Thankfully, Esme spoke. "Bella, it's very sweet that you care so much for you father."

I nodded. "Well before I moved in with him it was either the diner or take out every night, it's amazing he hasn't had a heart attack yet," I chuckled.

"When did you move in with him?" Alice questioned.

"When I was twelve after my…after my mother died."

Edward linked his fingers with mine and brought my hand to his lips, kissing me gently. "I'm sorry about your mother, Bella," Carlisle spoke softly.

"It's okay…I mean, people die right? She put up a hell of a fight though. My stepdad Phil always said I was a fighter like my mom…stubborn and opinionated," I smiled, shaking my head.

Emmett chuckled. "Well I think that's already apparent. And I mean that in a good way. You gotta say what you think in this family."

I laughed. "With a psychic, an empath, and a mind reader, I thought words were unnecessary around here?"

Everyone chuckled. "She has a point," Edward said softly, gazing at me tenderly.

"Bella, is your stepfather still in your life?" Esme questioned.

I felt my stomach lurch and looked down at the table. "Um, he calls about once a year, but he's remarried to some 22 year old flight attendant. I miss him, but he travels a lot…he plays baseball…so really it's just me and Charlie. It works for us though, we're not used to having a lot of people around."

"Not like this household," Jasper said wryly.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Yeah, but you're all so different. I mean humans are so petty and self-centered and _exasperating_. It's a breath of fresh air to be around so many people who are just…real…and not overgrown children pretending to rule the world."

Everyone was staring at me intently, and I felt my cheeks turn red at the attention. They all seemed a little surprised at my outburst, which made my face burn even brighter in embarrassment.

"Wow, look at that blush. She does smell good, Edward," Alice mused.

I nudged her with my shoulder and rolled my eyes. The room was still silent after that and I started getting very nervous. I looked at Edward for help but just then Carlisle spoke. "Bella, you seem very wise beyond your years."

"I don't know about that," I smiled softly.

"She is," Edward murmured. "She's not just any human girl."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before reopening them, gazing back at the beautiful creature that was looking at me like I was the only person that existed in this world.

We broke our trance, and I met the golden eyes of everyone in the room, observing us thoughtfully. Esme looked like she would cry if she could. I chuckled nervously and started eating my food. "Carlisle," she murmured softly, almost too softly for me to hear.

"I know, dear," he mumbled under his breath, taking her hand in his. I suddenly worried that their little "hidden" exchange wasn't a positive one.

I liked them already, so incredibly much. I needed them to know where I stood. "Look, I need you all to know that I would never betray your trust. I don't want to get too serious and damper the mood of the evening, and I know that Rosalie thinks I'll reveal what you are. But please know that I will _never_ do that. It makes no difference to me what Edward is….because it doesn't change the way he makes me feel….and that's freaking embarrassing to say in front of all of you, so I'm just going to shut the hell up now. But please know that I only want to be a part of it all, I don't want to shatter it."

Carlisle smiled widely and nodded his head. "You are quite the wonder, Bella Swan."

Before I knew it, Esme was behind me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. "Oh, Bella," she murmured, kissing my cheek. "I never had a doubt in my mind about your intentions, honey, so don't feel like you have to prove yourself to us. As far as I'm concerned, you already have."

After one more kiss on the cheek, she quickly took her seat next to Carlisle. Edward wrapped his arm around me, pulling me in and kissing my ear softly. "You're incredible, beloved," he whispered breathlessly.

All of a sudden the air was heavy with emotions and significant words. It needed to be lightened up before I started crying or freaking the fuck out from the overwhelming feeling of belonging with this group of amazing people. Because I felt it deep inside of me…_I belonged with them_.

Finally Jasper groaned. "Okay, I get it, we all adore, Bella. Now if we don't tone it down rather quickly, I may spontaneously combust from all this affection. Bella, quick, do something offensive so they ease up on me," he grinned, his eyes pleading with me in jest.

I giggled. "Jasper, I can't help the fact that I'm so naturally lovable. What can I say, I'm pretty fantastic."

"Woah, look at that big head," Emmett teased.

"That's what she said," Alice and I murmured together before cracking up obnoxiously. She brought out my inner girl, which was foreign and rather comforting at the same time.

Everyone laughed except for Carlisle, who stared at us questioningly. You could almost see the wheels turning in his head before the light bulb went off. He chuckled then, shaking his head from side to side and mumbling that his children have corrupted him so.

The rest of the dinner went….rather perfectly.

I laughed until my face ached as Emmett recounted some ridiculous stories of their past.

I squealed like the teenager I never resembled as Alice and I discussed the new AFI CD and the gothey goodness that was Davey Havok.

I asked Esme how in the world she managed to make such a delicious meal when she didn't even eat food. She explained that she may have made a few practice meals ever since she knew I was coming. My heart swelled at all the effort she put into this for me.

I begged Jasper to mess with my emotions like it was some sort of party trick. He enjoyed my reactions, especially when I chucked a breadstick at him for making me feel hot and bothered. Jasper threw it back at me and Edward caught it, pointing it at him as he spoke. "Easy, or you're going to be getting this in your throat."

Alice and I looked at each other and busted out laughing, not even having to say a word to make us laugh. "Yeah, yeah," Edward muttered. "_That's what he said_…are we twelve now?" He teased, the smile on his face radiant as he looked between Alice and I.

"Hell yeah!" Emmett bellowed, pounding my knuckle from across the table.

I laughed until my face hurt, and wondered how it was possible to have this much carefree fun with beings that were many, many decades old. It was even more alarming that it all felt completely natural to me.

When I was finished eating, we continued with the pleasant conversation, the fact that I was anything different than they were wasn't even a factor. I got along with them amazingly, I enjoyed their company, and it just felt…right.

As much as I was enjoying the evening, Edward and I were anxious to be alone again. It started with his fingers running along my bite mark. He brought his hand to my wrist, drawing small circles as the blood rushed through my veins. I lowered my hand to his thigh, dragging my nails up and down absently. We brought our bodies closer and closer together until I was tucked right underneath his arm, our chairs flesh against one another.

His eyes searched mine hungrily. Every minute or so he'd lean over and press his lips to my temple, and I couldn't even think anymore. We needed to go. I needed to feel every inch of his bare skin pressed up against mine. It was becoming unbearable.

Edward and I eventually made it to the foyer as the family followed behind us, but I stopped in my tracks. "You never showed me your room," I frowned at Edward, desperately wanting to see where he spent his time when he wasn't with me.

"Come back!" Alice yelled, grabbing my hands and jumping around like a damn bouncy ball. "You'll have to come back! We can show you the rest of the house, and you need to see the backyard…it's simply beautiful. Oh and we have a river a few yards into the forest. I know you're fond of the woods, Bella." Alice nudged me in the ribs and clicked her tongue against her teeth insinuatingly.

I slapped at her shoulder and immediately turned beet red. Edward chuckled behind me, rubbing his hands up and down my arms. "Alice, I wonder how a tiny person like yourself manages to have such an enormous mouth."

Everyone laughed, murmuring their agreement.

"Alice, I'll come back tomorrow if you somehow discover a way to filter your thoughts before they exit your mouth. Cool?" I smirked at her teasingly, but my eyes were shining. I had a friend who was a girl, and I liked her. Immensely. I never thought I'd see the day.

She hugged me securely for several seconds before pulling back and beaming at me in excitement. "I make no promises, human. But you _will_ come back tomorrow." She tapped her temple knowingly and stuck her tongue out to prove her point.

I chuckled and slipped my arm around Edward's waist. "We'll see, vamp girl."

I said goodbye to Edward's family, everyone apart from Jasper hugging me and whispering their thanks. Rosalie still hadn't returned, which was good because I honestly didn't feel like putting up with her shit anymore tonight. One thing was for certain, I'd be around now, and either we were going to squash this shit or I was gonna throw down with the vamp-bitch. Only time would tell.

After another round of goodbyes, Edward walked me to the passenger side of my truck and lifted me inside, his hand lingering on my upper thigh as he snuck in a quick kiss. A moment later my door was slammed and he was seated next to me in the driver's side.

He started the truck and turned the heat on. "Are you comfortable?"

I nodded and he continued to sit there, staring at the dash of the car.

"Are we hanging out in the truck tonight?" I asked playfully, running the back of my hand along his chiseled jaw.

He caught my hand, kissing it once before entwining his fingers with mine. "How…how was it?"

I laughed because he seemed nervous, which was a little redundant considering what was done was done. "It was great," I began, trying to find the right words. "I mean, it was a little weird. Sitting at a table with you, holding your hand, conversing with your family…it was a little too normal for us."

"Normal?" he scoffed. "Is it every day you sit with a table full of vampires?"

I laughed. "No, but so far we've pretty much just been alone. And when we're alone, we never hold back because we don't have to. Being with you here, like this, it's so normal…do you know what I mean?"

He nodded. "I do." He looked at me an instant longer before speaking again. "And what of this normalcy? Do you like it? Do you want more of it?" His voice was low, his eyes penetrating me like my answer was the most important thing in the world to him.

"I liked the normal," I whispered, bringing our hands up and running his along my cheek. "I like both. I like the intensity of being alone with you, of touching you. And I like holding your hand in front of your family and spending time with them. I want it both…and it's really fucked up, because I'd never imagined that normal would be something I'd want."

"It's still not normal, Bella," he smiled crookedly at me. "We'll never be normal."

"Do you think we can have both?" I murmured, staring at him with wide eyes across the seat. "Can I spend time with your sister, and bake with your mother, and joke with your brothers…and still have you like I do now?"

He pulled me across the seat quickly, his mouth crashing into mine. He exhaled unevenly and pushed his forehead against mine. "You can have absolutely anything you desire, beloved."

"What do _you_ want?" I questioned softly.

"You," he said simply. "I'll never stop wanting you. Bella, I can't tell you what it elicited inside me tonight, watching you interact with them…especially how you spoke about…us. The way you put yourself out there…it was just astonishing. It's as if my family was a puzzle, and it's a perfectly fine puzzle, but there was always a piece that was missing. The puzzle would never be complete without that one, magnificent piece. It's you, Bella. And every single fucking one of them—apart from _Rose_—knows that. You make me feel…"

"What?" I whispered breathlessly.

He sighed and looked me straight in the eyes. "You make me feel like I belong with them."

I groaned and kissed him deeply before scooting back to my side. "You're going to make me cry again, Edward. I fucking hate crying."

A small pout formed on his face. "And why do you cry because of me?"

"Because you're _my_ missing piece…and you make me so unbelievably happy I can barely fathom it. Now take me home and do dirty things to me before I start talking about kittens and rainbows and shit."

He chuckled heartily and slid his palm over my knee. "As you wish," he whispered softly.

*

Just as we turned onto my street, a shrill ringing noise sounded from Edward. I watched as he pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. "You have a phone?" I asked incredulously.

He smiled crookedly before flipping it open. "Yes, Alice?"

His smile immediately fell as he listened to his sister on the other line. "I see. Thank you for letting me know."

He slammed his phone shut and ran his fingers viciously through his hair before parking my truck on the street a block before my house. "What's wrong?" I questioned.

He looked at me warily and I hated seeing him look so defeated. "Our future seems to have disappeared underneath a dark cloud."

One of my boys.

I immediately wondered if it would be Sam again. I tried calling him several times earlier in the day before dinner with the Cullens, knowing that we really needed to talk about everything. I kept getting his voicemail and finally left a snarky message.

_Sam, just because you have big fucking paws and a furry God damn tail doesn't mean you can ignore me._

I immediately felt bad about it, because I had been a complete hag to each one of the guys. I'd just been so overwhelmed since Edward came into my life that I'd been neglecting my friends and the enormity of all this supernatural bullshit. Part of me just wanted to stay in my bubble of lust and need that Edward captivated me in.

Real life can be a son of a bitch.

"They're at my house now?" I questioned.

"I can only assume," he said hesitantly. "Bella, I…I can't just leave you. Their temper is so uncontrolled. I know they're your friends, but hurting you would not be done intentionally by them. I'll at least have to stay nearby. Do you understand that?"

I nodded. "I do understand. You've told me they're unpredictable, and I believe you. And I'm glad that you aren't being a giant douche and forbidding me from seeing them or some shit." He looked at me hesitantly and I continued. "I know I need to stay away from them for awhile or whatever. And that's cool…but if one of them is here now, and so are you, then it shouldn't be an issue, right?"

He kissed the back of my hand. "Bella, I don't own you. And do you really thing I'd dictate your actions and live to see another day?" I laughed and he went on speaking. "I trust you to protect yourself, to recognize when you need help. The word trust has never meant a thing to me before you came into my world. But if they ever harm you….even unintentionally…I won't be able to ignore that."

I tugged on his hand and groaned. "Let's not worry about things that haven't happened. Come on…come with me. "

"You want me to come with you?" he asked in a surprised tone.

He killed the engine and was at my door immediately. "Yeah," I smiled, throwing my arms around his neck. "I'm going to singlehandedly make peace between the vamps and the wolf boys."

He grabbed my thighs and pulled me out of the truck, wrapping them around his waist briefly before sliding me down his body. "If anyone could do it, it would be you," he murmured against my neck.

I kissed him with a slow stroke of my tongue before grabbing him by the hand and pulling him along. He palmed my ass and growled deeply into my ear. "How long do you think this will take?" he whispered, his cool breath against my ear sending shivers down my spine. "I haven't had my dinner, and I'm quite ravenous."

I felt a wave of arousal pool between my legs and my eyes closed tightly. Christ, I wanted him. "Patience," I murmured, grabbing his chin playfully.

"Fuck patience," he growled.

I laughed because it was only days ago that I was saying the same thing to him. "Oh how the tables have turned," I chuckled.

Edward laughed quietly next to me but it immediately ceased once we walked around the trees next to my house.

My breath caught in my throat as my eyed drifted to the front stoop. Jake sat on the top step, his posture defeated and his eyes red as his hands trembled in front of him. Two lines of wetness trailed down his russet cheeks, and my heart clenched in pain.

Because this wasn't asshole Jacob trying to get in my pants. This was my friend Jake who was supposed to be a happy, goofy, sweet kid….

And he was broken.

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**Awwww…poor little Jakie. Okay, theories anyone? Let's hear 'em!**

**How did you like the dinner? Did it go as expected? Come on, I wanna know what you think!**

**Chapter 8 may be posted a little later than normal. I MUST get the SaDT EPOV Epi done…and am denying myself of writing more Bitey boy until the task is complete. Yeah, so I've been putting it off cuz I don't want it to end. I know, I suck. But it's on its way, I promise!**

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**Until next time, my lovelies! **


	8. The Fear That Binds You

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Well, my SaDT epov epi isn't done but…yeah, I'm posting this anyway. I can't help myself!! For those of you waiting, I'm hoping to have it posted by Friday or Saturday. **

**Talk to you down below!**

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***BPOV***

I took a deep breath and squeezed Edward's hand a little tighter as we made our way towards Jake. He was breaking the fuck down, and I really didn't know what to think about it, considering I'd never seen that boy cry a day in his life.

I sat on the step beneath him, and Edward stood right behind me. I rested my back on his thighs, silently letting him know he was exactly where I wanted him to be. "What's wrong Jake?" I whispered.

He wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand and shook his head. "I don't want this shit, that's what's fucking wrong."

Jake's eyes were extremely bloodshot as he lifted a bottle of _Patron _to his lips and guzzled from it faithfully. He didn't look at me or make any effort to acknowledge my presence any further, so I continued to stare at the broken kid in front of me, knowing there was only one thing that could be so devastating to him. "So you're like, a fucking wolf now or something?" I mumbled, looking down at the steps and fiddling with the sleeve of my sweater.

He laughed dryly and took another sip from the bottle, his face contorting as the burn assaulted his throat. "So is this bloodsucker like, your fucking boyfriend now or something?" he asked mockingly, taking another gulp of tequila.

I groaned, shaking my head at the constant struggle that Jake and I went through. He was just unable to comprehend that I didn't have those kinds of feelings for him. "Jake are we really fucking doing this again?"

Jake's fist started trembling around the bottle as he clenched his jaw. "You know, it's so fucked up…when I'm…_like that_…when _we're_ like that, we can hear every thought…we can see what everyone has seen, you know?" I looked at him quizzically at his sudden side tracking and he continued. "And, I knew you were fucking Embry. I mean, I'm not a Goddamn idiot, so I wasn't completely shocked when I caught a glimpse of you writhing underneath him while he fucked you."

Edward growled viciously behind me and I turned around quickly, standing up and grabbing the sides of his neck. "Don't lose it, Edward. You knew…you knew I was with him before I met you, okay? Please…" I begged him softly, watching his eyes transform from pitch black to soft honey.

Edward nodded at me once, and he looked behind me to point a finger at Jake. "You will not throw things in her face tonight, Jacob. You behaved abhorrently outside the school grounds only a handful of days ago. You will not fucking disrespect her again, understand?"

Jake laughed harshly but didn't disagree. "I'm not fucking here to disrespect her, _Dracula._ So sue me if I'm a little put off by the fact that my best friend was fucking my homeboy and now all of a sudden she's shacking up with a Goddamn vampire. It's a lot to take in, not to mention all the other bullshit. Get off my nuts, fucker."

Jake guzzled from the bottle once more, and while his words were threatening, his tone was full of fear and defeat. I knew Edward could sense it as well, because I felt his body relax behind me. "Jake," I sighed, truthfully not knowing where to begin. "You've gotta give me some facts. I don't even know what the fuck is going on anymore."

"Facts, Bella?" he scoffed. "I have some facts for you. Let's see, Sam and Embry wanna kill your boyfriend and his little family. Me and half the Goddamn kids from the rez are morphing into these giant beasts. We need to babysit Embry like a fucking hawk because he wants to come over here and fuck the both of you up. Bella, the next time you start something up with a new dude, you should probably inform the guy you were previously fucking."

My eyes widened. Had I really not even told Embry I was done with him? I thought back, and the only thing I could remember is Edward. His words, his touch, his very presence…how could I forget my boys so quickly? I ditched Jake, I bitched out Sam, I didn't properly end things with Embry, and I never even made an attempt to talk to Quil. How could I have done this to them? "Fuck, Jake," I whispered, feeling my eyes prickle with tears. "I'm sorry…did you really know about me and Embry?"

He looked at me like I was insane. "Uh, yeah. Do you really think I'd believe that you were fucking that blonde douche Newton and that Em was fucking crab-crotch Stanley? You bitches could have been a little more creative, that's for sure."

"You aren't pissed?" I asked hesitantly.

He sighed and ran his hand over his face roughly. "Whatever, Bella. Your ass is fine as hell and if you wanted a romp I sure as fuck wouldn't turn you down, but I know you aren't interested in me. I just liked fucking with you more than anything. It's fun as hell, pissing you off." His lips turned up into a small smile and I kicked his leg.

"Fucker," I said softly, finally letting the tears build up in my eyes. "Look Jake, I didn't mean to be a bitch, to any of you. You need to tell them that."

He tipped back the bottle and handed it to me. "They'll see this conversation. They see everything when we phase…well, everything I let them see. Sam will throw a fucking fit if he finds out I was here, I just…fuck, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore, showing up on your doorstep and bawling like a fucking baby."

I tilted the bottle back and cringed as the familiar burn slid through my body. I handed it back to Edward instinctively and turned to face him when he didn't take it. He smiled slightly and shook his head, tracing his fingers along my lips. I rolled my eyes at myself for being a dumbass and handed it back to Jake. "Don't let them fuck with you, Jake. If you wanna come see me, then do it. Just don't hurt me in the process."

He looked at me like I was stupid again. "Bella, like I would ever fucking hurt you, this shit is just a lot to deal with…I've got all this rage and pent up aggression inside of me, I'm just learning how to deal with it."

"So you are…a werewolf?" I asked hesitantly.

He nodded solemnly. "I phased for the first time a couple days ago."

"And do you have to turn into a wolf if you don't want to?" I questioned.

Jake scoffed. "Well it's not exactly a lifestyle decision, Bella. I don't really have a choice in the matter…I'm Jacob fucking Black…I was born to be a killer." His tone was so full of sarcasm and malice that it made my heart twinge in sympathy. "I actually came here to talk to my polar opposite over here, not to fuck with you B."

Edward laughed dryly. "We have more in common than you think, Jacob Black. If your "boys" would only take a second to realize that we aren't a fucking threat to you." Edward paused and his eyes widened slightly. "Black…Ephraim Black was your grandfather. That means you're to become Alpha…."

Jacob chuckled. "Aw, come on man. You're just fucking cheating now. You pulled that shit from my head." Jake held out his knuckle for Edward to tap, and the bewildered look on Edward's face was priceless. He tapped it hesitantly while I struggled to pick my jaw up off of the ground.

I couldn't believe the way this was turning out. I was sure there would be another fight and here we were, all of us joking around? What the fuck?

"Look," Jake continued. "I saw the scuffle you and Sam got into through his thoughts…I know how you can get into people's heads and shit. And I recognize a fucking man of honor when I see it. My girl here wants you, and you wouldn't dare fucking hurt her. I see that…Sam's just too good at being a Goddamn wolf to see beyond it."

Jake paused for a long moment before continuing. "I'm trying to give you the benefit of the doubt here man, but you have to tell me, and I mean right fucking now, how the hell you're biting on her and not killing her…or worse."

Edward ran his hand through his hair quickly as the panic rose in my chest. "I knew you saw that I marked her the last time you were on these steps," Edward mused. "Are you aware of the aspects of vampirism?"

Jake scoffed. "Please, _Dracula_. I grew up with these fucking legends my whole life. Not to mention I've been in heavy duty werewolf boot camp since I left this very stoop a few nights ago. I know all about you fucking blood guzzlers. Now get on with it."

"Jake, I want him to do it," I interrupted quickly. I felt like I had to stick up for this, for what Edward and I were. "It's not like he's doing it against my will. I…I like it."

Jake laughed and finished off the bottle of patron, chucking it into the trees. "I should have fucking known you were all kinky and shit, Bella. What a shame." He looked me up and down and I slapped him repeatedly, making him laugh even harder.

Edward dropped his hands to my shoulders and ran his finger along my bite mark, taking a deep breath. "I'm…unable to change a human into a vampire. My venom is basically sterile, which allows me to taste her without turning her. As far as not killing her, well, it's a struggle to stop feeding. My bloodlust has never been consistent with others of my kind. They've been known to be rampant when in the vicinity of human blood, while I feel a faint tickle in my throat. I crave Bella's…desperately so, but I crave her life more. I will never take too much...I will never fucking hurt her."

Jake and Edward held eye contact so long that it was borderline uncomfortable. Finally, Jake spoke. "That's fucked up, Cullen."

Edward chuckled. "Indeed. Now, you need to answer my question. Why are you so afraid of what Sam will say when you are the rightful leader of the pack?"

Jake's jovial disposition fell the moment those words left Edward's lips. "I pretty much handed that shit over to Sam. I know I'm supposed to be the Alpha, and I have no fucking interest in it whatsoever. He's the one that's all gung-ho about war and vengeance and bullshit like that. I just want to be a fucking teenager, drinking a fifty and smoking a blunt. I'm not ready to grow up. I'm not opposed to being honorable and shit, but I sure as hell ain't ready for it."

Edward was quiet for a long time before he continued. "Jacob, do you see me or my family as a threat to you, your people, or Bella?"

Jake thought for a moment and shook his head. "Nah. Like I said, I can tell you're for real. I can read people, just like I knew Bella was humping on Embry…I can fucking sense shit, like a…well, fuck….like a wolf, I suppose."

Edward started to pace in front of the steps. "If you would just take your place as Alpha, you'd be saving Bella and my family a world of hurt, Jacob. Your friends are looking for a fight, and you are the only one that can stop them. If you don't take command, what will they say about this conversation we're having right now? How would you begin to hide this information?"

"I hid the fact that I saw a fucking vamp bite mark on Bella's neck, didn't I? Look, Sam can talk shit all he wants, he won't break the treaty. But if he finds out you bite on her, I'm gonna go ahead and assume all bets are off the fucking table."

Edward stopped pacing and stood in front of Jacob. "If you take on the role as Alpha, I can help you. If we can learn to trust each other, put our species aside and come together, there will be no stopping us. You need to remember, Jacob. Your pack and my family have the same goal. To protect human life. There's no need for us to battle if we're fighting the same fight."

Jake was quiet for a long time, seeming to absorb Edward's words. "That _is_ a good point, Dracula. But the elders would pretty much shit themselves if I befriend the likes of you fuckers."

Edward shook his head. "It's irrelevant. You are the Alpha male. They must trust your leadership and follow through with your decisions. When we made that treaty all those years ago, your grandfather initiated peace with Carlisle. The other members of the pack were furious with Ephraim. But they trusted him, they followed him, and look where we are today."

Jake scoffed. "Dude, my grandpa was the shit, of course he fucking dominated." He held his knuckle out and Edward tapped it again with a chuckle. "Look I haven't made an official decision yet, alright? I'm not gonna start shit with you cuz you seem alright to me, man. Just protect my fucking girl, because if anyone comes looking for trouble, we can't take them out on your turf."

Edward nodded. "I don't leave her side."

Just then I heard Edward's phone ringing in his pocket. He pulled it out quickly and read the new text message. "I think the black clouds are making Alice a little anxious," he whispered, looking pointedly at me when he spoke. Jacob looked at him skeptically and Edward continued. "My sister Alice has the ability to see the future, but can't see anything when you or a member of your pack is around."

Jake scoffed. "Huh. That's fucked up, Cullen. Well I'm out of booze and I need to get my dick wet. Here I come, Leah Clearwater." Jake waggled his eyebrows and I dove into his arms, squeezing him with as much force as I can muster. "Whoa, B," Jake said softly, running his hand over my hair. "I mention another bitches name and now you want to get on me?"

I chuckled and kissed him on the cheek before looking intently into his eyes. "Thank you for trusting me to make my own decisions. And thank you for not hating him just because of what he is. He's good, Jake. I swear he is. He won't hurt me…you need to make the boys see it."

Jake sighed. "I have a lot to think about, Bella, alright? You need to just give me some time. Don't pressure me with shit, cool?"

I nodded and Jake stood up, stretching exaggeratedly and walking towards the woods. "Bella, I was thinking some shady fucking shit about you the other day when you ditched me. Dracula over here heard me, and he wants to rip my throat out for it. And that's a big fucking reason why I'm cool with him. You need someone to stand up for you, sometimes even to your boys."

I took Edward's hand and nodded, knowing that it was true but not liking the fact that everything was changing so quickly right before my eyes. Jake bumped his fist with Edward's once more. "Thanks for hashing shit out with me, man. And don't fucking judge me for crying and shit. I'm a man on the edge." Jake smiled widely, his white teeth shining in the night. I realized then that I hadn't seen this confident, carefree boy in so long. He was in his element and he didn't even realize it.

"Jacob?"

Jake stopped in his tracks once Edward called his name, and turned around to face him. "I want you to replay this conversation in your mind. You need to listen to yourself. You are commanding, you're level headed, and you are a natural leader. You may not want it, Jacob Black, but you have it. You are an Alpha…you're the right kind of Alpha. Don't cheat yourself out of your rightful title."

Jake looked at Edward intently for a moment before nodding his head. "Quit buttering me up, fucker. You just want me to man up so you can keep biting on my girl." Jake chuckled and flashed a peace sign. "I'm out, I'll be in touch, Bella."

I nodded and just like that, Jacob disappeared into the heavy covering of trees and blackness.

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***EPOV***

Bella unlocked her front door and we walked silently inside. I was still trying to come to terms with what had just transpired outside her doorstep. When we first approached Jacob, I was expecting nothing but the worst, much like my confrontation with Sam. I never could have imagined that Jacob would approve of Bella and I…even further, that I would actually…_like_ him. Sure, he was still an immature seventeen year old boy, but there was courage inside of him…there was honor. The sooner he realized it, the sooner Bella and I could rest easy.

Well, as easily as could be expected, giving our situation.

Jacob was confident that he would be able to hide his knowledge from the rest of the pack, but one slip…one momentary lapse and it could all be over. I realized that this was technically a grey area in our treaty. I wasn't taking a life or turning a human into a vampire…but I was still sinking my teeth into one. I truly didn't fit into the black and white of the agreement, so how could I be faulted?

I prayed that I would never have to find out.

I watched Bella closely as she unzipped her boots and threw them next to the door. She sighed deeply, running her fingers through her long dark hair and wearing a serious expression on her beautiful face. This night had provoked so much inside of me. More than I could ever begin to explain.

I was completely bewildered as to what I was becoming. One moment I was an empty being of solitude and inhumanity. The next I'm obsessing over this astonishing girl that I can never seem to get enough of. I was so torn and my thoughts so chaotic inside my head…struggling to come to terms with what I once was and what I would now forever be.

Because it was forever now…being with Bella. There was no way I'd be without her, especially after tonight's events.

I was so proud of her, proud to introduce her to my family and show them just how remarkable she truly was. They adored her. Alice was correct as always, they were simply captivated by her. And when she stood up to Rose….I just knew. I knew right then and there, this girl belonged here…with me. There was just no other way.

I was already aware that our connection was much more than physical, but this night further proved it. Her smile made me soar. I just wanted to kiss her over and over, and that would have been enough. To feel her skin beneath my lips, to show her how happy she made me, how much pride I felt towards her for walking into a house full of vampires and being herself entirely.

What happened to the beast who wanted to ravage her, to drain her, to dominate her completely?

He was still there, lurking in the shadows and waiting for the moment I'd release him completely from his confines.

I couldn't give into my demons, because tonight was about Bella and the evening that had completely altered everything I knew when she made herself at home with my family.

She was absolutely amazing. She was stunning of course, but more than that, her personality, her wit, her charm…God, would I ever get enough of this girl? When Jacob mentioned her relations with Embry, blinding hatred overtook my very being. The thought of her with someone else made me truly feel like a vampire. I wanted to destroy, to pillage, to kill any motherfucker who touched my human girl, who looked at her, who even _thought_ about her…I was out of control for that single moment in time.

All it took was one look, one sentence from her lips and I was calmed, grounded by the fact that she hadn't known me then, and what she experienced with that insignificant teenager was nothing compared to what we had together. It would have to suffice, although my jealous rage was always there, lingering beneath the surface.

But for one reason or another, it felt right to trust Jacob Black. The boy was very straightforward, which was refreshing. It was clear to me that Sam was incredibly protective, but also very arrogant. I suppose you'd have to be, running a drug chain inside your auto repair shop while stringing a group of boys along for the ride. I understood that Sam was the leader of their little gang, but giving him the power of Alpha could potentially be catastrophic. It truly is a dangerous thing to give a man of power…power.

I could only hope that Jacob would make the right choice.

I watched Bella with heavy eyes as she sauntered into the kitchen. My mouth watered at the deliberate sway of her hips, the way her tight ass was so beautifully accented in her charcoal grey skirt. I sucked the venom off my teeth viciously, feeling like a wild animal as I stalked up behind her and pressed her up against the kitchen counter. Her porcelain skin was beautiful in the moonlight, the darkness of the room and the brightness of the night making my human girl look more unworldly than I'd ever seen her.

It left me yearning for more.

My breathing was ragged as I rested my nose above her ear, inhaling sweet scents of her soft hair, fighting the immediate reaction to slam her against me, to pound her, to squeeze her…to dominate this girl into my submission. My eyes widened at the atrocious thought. She wasn't "this girl". She was _my_ fucking girl.

I placed my hands gently on her waist and she groaned softly. "You're shaking, Edward," she whispered, slipping her fingers between mine against her hips.

I exhaled deeply, resting my forehead against her hair and closing my eyes to steady myself. I'd been doing a fairly good job of controlling myself as of late. I fucked her rampantly in the woods and didn't harm her. She wrapped her perfectly pink lips around my cock, and survived it unscathed. Why was I so close to losing control in this moment?

Deep down I realized I was withdrawing into what I knew best—animalistic lust, rapture, want, desire. It was all still there, making my fingers twitch in the need to take her. But there was something stronger, threatening to overtake the beast inside of me. I wanted to hold her. I wanted to tell her how much intensity she created inside of me from one glance of her dark brown eyes. I wanted to watch her laugh, to hold her hand, to make her happy. Maybe I still wasn't ready to define what it was we had together, but I sure as hell was ready to explore it.

With ever shaking hands, I slid my fingers along her abdomen and under her sweater, kissing her neck softly before bringing my lips to her ear. "I have been absolutely enamored with you tonight."

She turned in my arms and linked her fingers into my hair, kissing my lips chastely as she smiled wryly. "You mean you aren't enamored with me every night?"

I gave her a pointed, playful look. Her attitude could be trying at times, but it was her very spirit that made me feel so much…veneration for her. My hands slid up her bare thighs and cupped her ass, squeezing tightly. "Eh, I suppose," I teased in a drab tone.

She started slapping my chest in mock insult, which caused me to chuckle heartily. I grabbed her by the wrists, our moods turning serious instantly as I drew slow circles against her veins with my thumbs. "You know, Bella. You must know…what you do to me." She leaned closer until our bodies were pressed tightly together, her heartbeat thrumming rapidly against my empty chest cavity, as if she were trying to awaken my long deadened heart.

Her bottom lip came between her teeth as she shifted out of my grip and hopped up on the counter. She looked at me sinfully beneath her lashes as she spoke. "Do you want to fuck me on the counter and prove it then, Edward?"

Christ, my name on her tongue was the most erotic fucking sound in this world.

My eyes burned into hers as I truly pondered her question. Did I want to do what I'd done every single time since the first moment we came together? Pin her down, fuck her, growl, bite, destroy? The answer was obvious…the answer was right in front of me with endless brown eyes and a tender expression on her face. I smiled crookedly because suddenly I knew exactly what I wanted.

"No," I whispered, sliding my hands underneath her ass and lifting her off the counter. A flash of rejection passed over her features as I wrapped her legs around my waist and held her so close to me that our noses were touching. "I want…."

"What?" she whispered, dragging her tongue slowly along my bottom lip. "Tell me what you want, Edward."

My brow furrowed as I contemplated my words. "I…want more. I want to be more than that for you. I don't just want to fuck you."

I shook my head and fixed my eyes anywhere but on hers as the guilt took me over. Did she think that's all I wanted from her was my own physical pleasure?

She curled her fingers around my jaw, stroking my skin until I finally met her stare. She was smiling so softly at me, her eyes shining in a way that I'd never seen before. It caused a warming sensation deep inside of me, and I couldn't help but return her smile. "It's not just sex, Edward. You and I both know that."

She paused for a long moment, her eyes searching mine for something more. "You have so much in there, baby. Swimming around in that gorgeous head of yours." She smiled and looked down before meeting my eyes once more. "I'm ready to lay it all down on the line if you are…it's scary but it feels so fucking right…"

I groaned deeply as I crashed my lips to hers, tasting her soft skin and the flavor of her sweet tongue…she was just fucking everything to me. "I don't know how, beloved, but I want to try."

She kissed my forehead and wrapped her arms around my neck, burrowing her face into my shoulder. "I'm yours no matter what, Edward. I trust you with my life, with…everything."

"Bella," I whispered against her flesh. "You don't know what it does to me, when you tell me you trust me. When you tell me that you belong to me." I pulled her legs farther around my waist, running my hands up and down her bare thighs. I ghosted my lips along her neck, letting the warm, pulsing skin feed me life. I carried her leisurely up the stairs, my eyes closing tightly as I allowed myself to become lost in the very essence of my human girl.

"No more hiding," she breathed against my skin, placing wet kisses along my throat.

"Never again," I murmured, kicking her bedroom door open and closing it behind us. I sat down on the bed with her in my lap, lifting her sweater slowly over her head. "Tell me, Bella. Let it go."

Her eyelids closed tightly as I kissed her chin, her jaw, her throat. I unclasped her black, lacy bra but left it on her, tracing my fingertips along her bare back as she spoke. "I try…_God_…I try to hold back…how I feel when you hold me. After we've been together or if I'm just falling asleep. It's so thick, the emotion is so thick I can barely breathe…it terrifies me, and yet I want it so badly."

I groaned deeply in the back of my throat, craving her words like I craved her body and her blood. "Tell me more," I breathed against her chest, pressing my lips over her heart and reveling in the gentle vibrations it produced.

I ran my thumb over her fabric covered nipple and she jerked her hips against me, causing a surge of pleasure to run through both of us. We moaned simultaneously, our hands gripping tighter as we became even more breathless. "When you're inside of me, and when you taste my blood, I feel so complete. Like my whole life has been leading up to these moments. Like nothing else matters except you and I in this bedroom…and the passion I feel…this fucking _passion_, Edward. This is everything…"

She repeated that word…_everything_…against my lips as she unbuttoned my shirt, bringing our famished skin together. I sighed in delight and pulled her bra off of her body, needing nothing standing in our way. "Can you…" she trailed off, reaching between us and moaning as she fought with my belt buckle.

I cupped her face in my hands and held her there until she opened her eyes and looked at me. "Anything, Bella. I'll give you anything."

She pressed her forehead firmly to mine, hard enough for me to feel the pressure. She groaned, the look on her face intense as she held onto my hips tightly. "Talk to me…just tell me what's inside of you." She brought her bottom lip between her teeth as she waited for my reply.

I stared at her intently for a moment, really contemplating what she was asking me. To face my fears and do what I had originally set out to do when I refused to fuck her on the counter. To break down the barriers of our unknown reservations and set mind frames. To surrender ourselves to the sheer magnitude of command between us. To open up…to confide in each other about something that clearly had us mutually overwhelmed. The breath left my frozen lungs in a whoosh as she slid my pants and boxers down my legs, bringing her hot center flesh against my aching cock.

I was ready to take her, to fuck her just like that. With her skirt around her waist and my pants around my thighs…_but I didn't._ I stopped…because I wanted her to have more than that from me. I sat us up slowly and laid her down on the bed, a look of confusion falling over her features. I took a deep breath and began fulfilling what she requested of me. I gave in to the intense feelings I harbored for my human girl.

"When we're together like this, Bella…when I can feel your perfect skin against mine, it's like I'm alive again. Like the energy from your body is spread into mine and you make me feel like a person. Like we're just two kids who can't keep their hands off of each other. I wish I could be that for you," I groaned, sliding her skirt off and leaving her completely naked before me. My eyes absorbed every inch of her skin before meeting hers, a soft whimper releasing in her throat as we connected once again.

"More," she whimpered against my cheek, running her fingers gently through my hair.

I took a deep breath and bared my soul. "I struggle…all the time, beloved. I'm still a man, and I…feel so much for you…so fucking much it takes my breath away. But I still have to resist the urge to tear your flesh…to devour you, Bella. It horrifies me to think of what I'm capable of. There's just nothing left in this world for me if you're not in it."

Her deep moan made every nerve ending in my body spring to life, and I couldn't wait another moment to feel her wet pussy tense around me…the feeling of completion that had been my blinding obsession since the moment we surrendered to our insatiable need. "Please," she murmured, kissing me feverishly as she writhed against my solid form. "I want…" She trailed off with a moan as I sucked her nipple viciously between my lips.

I kicked my remaining clothes off and laid down over her, resting my weight on my forearms as I let our bodies touch, caress, dissolve into one another. "What do you want?" I whispered against her lips. I lined myself up at her entrance, feeling her wet heat against the head of my cock. _It burned me, it brought me to life._

She held the sides of my neck and closed her eyes tightly before opening them and staring right into me. "I want you inside of me, like you were meant to be. I want you to hold me, to show me what you can't say. Make me feel what this is…what this truly is."

I kissed her lips over and over again, never deepening it with my tongue but keeping it innocent, passionate, different than we had ever kissed before. I slid the head of my cock inside of her, going slow enough that both of us could savor the miracle that was our bodies coming together. The intense pleasure of our contrasted skin becoming alike, sliding along each other so perfectly that every expanse of our bodies were throbbing and awake with the need and rapture that was threatening to swallow us whole.

I linked our fingers together and slid the rest of the way inside her, my body trembling in the effort not to crush her. There was always a moment after I first filled her that made me want to take her with no regard for her preservation. It passed just as quickly, but it was important for me to recognize it every time. Her death would be my suicide…I could only hope there was a God kind enough to let me have her after she perished from this earth.

Could a beast like me truly have a heaven?

It was an idiotic question. I had heaven….It was surrounding me with warmth and moans of pleasure and _life_. This was heaven…_she_ was heaven. Had I been so blind that I couldn't see it before?

She was my light.

My purpose.

I held still inside of her, reveling in the burn of her wet skin, losing myself in the tingling sensations of pure ecstasy that rippled through my body. I let out a sharp pant, beginning to feel overwhelmed by the girl who had me wrapped around her finger. I could no longer deny that fact. I felt the tightening in my groin already, the deep throb that came with an impending orgasm.

Bella groaned, tightening her walls around my cock as I twitched inside of her. I was about to apologize, because I knew I would cum too quickly and I'd barely thrust inside of her, but she put her fingers over my lips. "It's okay," she smiled up at me. "I love watching you…feeling you cum inside me, filling me with something that comes from inside of you. It's cool like your skin and it makes me feel so good because you always make me so overheated, like I could pass out at any second. But then you hold me close, and you soothe me with every touch…every _single _touch."

I started pumping my cock purposely inside of her, swiveling my hips slowly against hers since I wouldn't allow an inch of space between our bodies. "Bella," I groaned in an almost agonizing tone. "I need you in order to survive now, beloved. Do you understand? I can't go back to life before you…back to the nothingness. It's you or it is death and that is the only fucking truth I know. I won't be without you…ever again…_fuck_."

She ran her hands down my back and grabbed my ass, pulling me against her as I came inside of her feverishly, growling and jerking on top of her soft body as I completely fell apart around her.

I pressed my forehead against her shoulder, my breathing erratic and labored as she ran her fingers through my hair. "Heaven," I heard her breathe through parted lips.

"What?" My head jerked up quickly so I could watch her as she spoke. "What did you just say?"

She smiled sweetly, running her fingers along my jaw. "This is heaven."

I crashed my lips to hers, entwining our tongues and tasting the girl who knew exactly how I fucking felt. Who proved it to me further and further each day. I was rock hard inside of her once more, starting a steady rhythm as I grabbed her thighs and spread her wide for me. "I want to take you so deep, beloved. I want you to cum so hard," I murmured against her wet lips. "It's so difficult to control it, Bella. I want to take my time…fucking savor you like you deserve. But I can't…stop this primal need to just _take_ you. I'm so fucking sorry…"

She grabbed my face tightly in her hands and stared at me intensely. "Our first time together…you told me you were a man who wanted to worship me and a monster that wanted to spill my blood. I want _you_, Edward. The monster, the man, I want them both. Fuck, I want _all_ of you," she cried, crashing her forehead against mine as I deepened my strokes.

She whimpered into my open mouth as I slid my hand between us, pressing against her swollen clit and squeezing it between my fingers. She cried out against me, her nails dragging along my back as she pressed her hips fervently into mine. "I wish you could mark me, Bella. I wish your nails could dig into my back and your teeth could break my skin. I want you to hurt me, too." My breaths were becoming labored again and I knew she was close, the air leaving her in gasping shudders as her muscles clenched tightly around my cock.

"That's it, baby. Cum on me. That's my girl," I whispered huskily in her ear, my mouth dripping with venom and my fingers working her clit furiously as she exploded around me, squeezing my dick tight enough to send me over the edge with her.

Our bodies clenched together as I pumped her furiously with each spurt I gave her. She was full to the brim with our fluids and my throbbing cock. She was so wet I could barely stay inside of her properly, the sound of us giving and taking prominent in the room.

"You're perfect, Bella," I groaned, running my fingertips softly up and down her sides, from the swell of her breasts to the curve of her hips. "You're _mine_, beloved. You're so fucking beautiful…you just don't know…" I whispered my words breathlessly, almost agonizingly as I tried like hell to make her understand. I was hard and quaking inside of her once more, pulling out slowly and filling her back up inch by inch. She was quite obviously ready to lose her mind.

Her hand was at her forehead, every inch of her body was covered with a glimmering sheen of sweat, the flush of her cheeks radiating down her neck and across her chest. Her eyes were clenched tightly as she cried out incoherently, her bottom lip between her teeth as she begged for me, begged for my cock. She was just so fucking breathtaking in moments like these.

I flipped us over, leaning against the headboard and settling her in my lap without pulling out of her. I held her tightly, pushing the hair out of her face. "Bella, look at me," I groaned, trying to keep a steady pace and not pound into her like I was tempted to.

Tonight was different, and we both knew it.

She opened her eyes slightly, her eyelids heavy as she swiveled her hips over my cock and clung to me for dear life. I ran my hands all over her body, trying to cool her off and make her feel how ardently I worshipped her. "Tell me what you feel," I begged, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her down forcefully on my cock.

She cried against my neck, the hot tears of rapture pouring from her eyes and covering my skin. It was too much, sensory fucking overload, and we couldn't stop…we couldn't get enough. When would it ever end?

"Tell me," I whimpered, my teeth clenched tightly as my brow furrowed in a desperate attempt to hold it together, to not let this girl's very being completely destroy me.

"I….." was all she got out before she came again, screaming and flailing as her body trembled around me, shaking so fiercely I was nearly contemplating letting her go. I pulled back slightly and she shook her head viciously, holding herself still on top of me as she milked my cock and fought desperately not to lose control.

"Edward." My name on her lips was barely there, just ghosting the air as her body convulsed on top of me. I bit my lip, fighting to hold still inside of her as she came back down to earth. She lifted her heated forehead from my shoulder and looked at me, an exhausted smile playing on her lips. "God, it's too good…you're too good, Edward Cullen. You're going to fuck me to death," she chuckled breathlessly.

I lifted her chin with my fingers and burned my eyes into hers. "I'm not fucking you, Isabella. Does this feel like _fucking_ to you?"

Her eyes went wide as I kissed her softly, moving her slowly on my lap as I drifted my hands along her hips. She shook her head before pressing her lips to mine. "No," she whispered, gripping the back of my neck tightly.

"Bella, I want you to listen to me right fucking now." I held her face in my hands and made sure she watched my eyes intently before I spoke. "I may fuck you against the wall…I may take you hard and say vulgar things while I'm doing it…but I want you to look into my eyes, look right inside of me, Bella. You are the only fucking person who knows me. This isn't just fucking. This—what we have—is so much more than fucking. Please tell me you know this." I hissed my last words as she pushed my cock farther inside of her, riding me heavily as she picked up her pace.

"I know," she murmured, nodding her head. "I know, Edward. I can feel it, how you look at me, the way you touch me…it's more. _We're_ more and the way I feel about you is beyond anything I ever imagined I could feel."

I moaned at her words, shifting my hips up to press against hers as the slow build ached throughout my body. I had the urge to ask her how exactly she felt about me, but I knew I wasn't ready to hear it. This was enough….for now, this was enough. I grabbed her ass and spread her wide, filling her completely with each slap of our skin. I felt so warm inside of her, so saturated and covered by my Bella that I never wanted to leave her body.

I claimed her over and over, whispering in her ear that I felt it too. The heavy sensation in my chest when I was inside her, touching her, looking at her. I confessed to her all I could, that I cared for her more than I ever thought possible, that the heavy feeling of passion inside of me was confusing and miraculous and overwhelming…but right. _We were right._

We came together forcefully with a violent shudder of our bodies, my fluid and her juices leaking out of her and onto my skin as I held her on top of me, wrapping her in my arms and reveling in the hazy euphoria of complete satisfaction. I winced slightly as I pulled out of her succulent heat, missing my home there already.

Her body was sticky and trembling as I held her to me. I continued whispering to her, explaining the best I could these newfound sensations until she finally settled and drifted to sleep right where she was meant to be—in my arms.

*

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***BPOV***

I don't know where the evening actually shifted…maybe it was the moment he had to leave me in my room after we came together so passionately earlier this afternoon. Maybe it was from the subtle touches we shared underneath his parent's dining room table. Wherever it was…I felt it in every bone in my body. Every flush of my skin. Every beat of my fucking heart.

How did he do this? How did he go from sexy and dominant, to protective and threatening, to caring and gentle? As I lay across his chest with my ear over his heart…I knew I felt it. Felt it beating for me. Maybe it was impossible, maybe it wasn't even real, but it was there for me…beating for _me_.

"I know you're awake."

His voice was gruff from lack of use. I glanced over at the alarm clock and noticed it was 4:35 a.m. It no longer felt odd waking up at different hours of the night. How could I honestly sleep when I knew he was awake underneath me? It felt like I was wasting so much time with the need to sleep.

I rested my chin on my arms that were folded over his chest. "I was listening to your heart beat," I smiled.

He ran his fingers along my jaw, looking down at me thoughtfully. He truly was beautiful in the soft light of the room. Pale skin, bronze hair falling across his forehead in constant disarray. His bottom lip jutted out slightly and his brow furrowed as he gazed at me. "It doesn't beat, Bella," he whispered.

I rested my ear over his chest and smiled widely. "It does. I can feel it."

He sighed deeply, pulling me up and kissing me with possessive lips, his arms wrapping around my waist as he breathed unevenly into my mouth between strokes of his tongue. He was trembling against me. "You don't know what you do to me." His face was contorted as he breathed those shaky words against my lips.

He sat us up swiftly from the bed, crushing our chests together as he kissed me urgently, like at any moment I'd be taken away from him. I tangled my fingers in his hair, holding him against me tightly and smiling happily at how insistent he was. "Easy," I whispered, running my fingers along his cheek. "I'm not going anywhere."

He pushed his forehead against mine and steadied his cool breaths as they fanned along my heated flesh. "But I am, Bella. I finally decided to contact Alice and I have to go back to the house…I need to talk to Carlisle about our conversation with Jacob."

I felt the panic surging through my chest as I gripped his hair tightly. "Right now?" I questioned frantically. "You have to leave me right now, after everything we just…" I trailed off, unsure of how to classify what had just transpired between us.

Edward sighed deeply, laying us back down and turning me so my back was pressed against his solid chest. His arm snaked around my waist and trapped me against him as he placed gentle, open mouthed kisses along my jaw. "I won't leave you until you've fallen back to sleep, Bella."

"I could come," I suggested, yawning so viciously it made my throat hurt.

Edward chuckled behind me. "You need your rest, beloved. I'll go once you're unconscious and return before you awake, I promise."

I pouted back at him shamelessly.

We were quiet for a moment, just enjoying the feeling of being wrapped around each other so intimately, until finally Edward spoke.

"Jacob called me your boyfriend."

I smiled as I felt his lips press against the back of my neck. I reached behind me and scratched lazily along his scalp. "Yes, he did."

"Is that what you want me to be?"

I chuckled. "I don't know…aren't we more than that?"

He froze behind me, his breathing completely halted. I suddenly worried I had said the wrong thing, but he turned me over so we were facing each other, our bodies pressed up tightly against one another. "We're much more than that, Bella. But I _want_ to be your boyfriend…I want to be everything for you."

I threw my leg over his hip, bringing his cock dangerously close to where I needed him to be. I felt the tears building in my eyes…because I never had a boyfriend before. Embry just wanted to fuck me and get high with me…that seemed to be all I was good for with him. And that _used_ to be enough, I _used _to accept that fact. I barely recognized who I _used to be_ anymore. "Yeah," I nodded, my eyes meeting his in the dim light of the room. "It's what I want, too."

He groaned as I reached between us and started stroking his cock slowly, firmly. "You must go back to sleep, beloved. I really do have to go…they're waiting for me." I pouted at him pathetically and his laughter broke the silence of the room. "Bella," he groaned. "You can't look at me like that, beautiful girl. I can't deny you of anything when you look at me like that."

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed his lips. "Don't deny me then."

He smiled warmly, sliding my leg off of his hip and wrapping his arms around me. "We'll spend the day together, tomorrow. I'll take you somewhere, anywhere. I'll show off my girl to the simple minded people of Forks, Washington."

Without even realizing it, my bottom lip came between my teeth as I broke eye contact with him. I didn't know if becoming involved with Edward Cullen really fit the role I was portraying in this town. But honestly, was it really worth the effort anymore, to be something I'm not?

I met his honey eyes again and they were heavy with concern. "Will you refute me at school? Just because you feel you have an image to uphold…you won't let me have you like this?"

I kissed him deeply, shaking my head furiously. "No, I can't keep lying forever. I'm not saying I'll come out of the proverbial closet with guns blazing, but I promise to slowly get rid of the girl I pretend to be. Hell, if you want me to go bang on Charlie's door and tell him I'm a snarky little bitch, I'll do it. I just want to be yours…and I know deep down that's who I truly am."

His tongue entered my mouth languidly, tasting me with fervor as he dropped his hand to my ass and kneaded the skin, slowly sliding his fingers between my legs. "There's no need to disturb your father, beloved. But thank you, for making the effort for my sake. I'm yours as well…I've always been yours."

I moaned as his fingers drifted along my slit, wiggling against him as he got closer to my aching center. "A little further," I smiled against his lips.

He growled low in his chest and pulled his hand away quickly. "God, this is agonizing…I want you so fucking badly."

"Well, come on then," I purred, trying to climb on top of him. Unfortunately he held me firmly in place. He turned me again so my back was to his chest as he encircled me in his arms.

"Tomorrow," he whispered into my ear heavily. "For now, you need to sleep, Bella. I'll be back before you awake…I won't stay away for long. Just rest, beloved."

I moaned discontentedly but couldn't deny the heavy exhaustion that was threatening to pull me into subconscious. "Fine," I whined, letting my eyes drift close. "Talk to me while I fall asleep, please?"

He pressed kisses along my cheek before laying his head against mine. "I want you to introduce me to your father…as your boyfriend."

My heart started racing but I said nothing.

He chuckled behind me. "I heard that."

"Mmm…Edward?" I mumbled.

"Yes?"

"We can do it on the kitchen counter some other time, right?" He laughed even louder against me, and at this point I barely registered the words that were escaping my lips.

"Absolutely. I'm still going to fuck you good and proper every chance I get, Bella. Just because what we have is much more than sex doesn't mean you don't bring out the animal in me. There are so many different ways to express what we have inside of us, beloved. We don't need to stick to just one method."

"Thank God," I yawned. "What else…"

"Hmm…remember when you asked me to taste you right here?" His fingers tapped steadily along my inner thigh and I hummed in response. "I want it tomorrow, Bella. I want those sweet juices from your pussy and the delicious flavor of your blood to comingle on my tongue. I want to experience them both, together."

I moaned loudly. "That kind of talk will _not _help me fall asleep, vamp-boy."

He chuckled. "My apologies…now go to sleep. I won't leave you until then. If you truly feel my heart beat, Bella, then you must know it's only beating for you." He kissed the top of my head, slowly running his fingers through my hair. "Rest for me, beautiful girl."

I murmured his name groggily and as the heavy burden of sleep overtook me, I drifted off with one word dominating my every thought, one name on the tip of my tongue. One touch, one reason.

_Edward. _

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**Aww, our kids are trying to hash out the feelings they just don't know what to do with. What are your thoughts on their admissions to each other?**

**And whatcha think about Jake? **

**Things are evolving, slowly but surely.**

**Thank you to my lovely Isabel for sticking with me throughout my constant editing and minor freakouts…I'd be lost without you woman!**

**Twitter: Brits23**

**LB thread link is in my profile!!**

**Now won't you send me a review???**

**Bitey gets a taste in the next chapter! WOOT! :D**


	9. Nothing to Hide

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Here we are again!**

**Thanks to my normal girls: Isabel for being a genius, Mel for being a dear friend, and to my TWIN LazyKate…we practically share the same brain, which is why you all might want to put the both of us on author alert, considering a collab between my twin and I is definitely on the horizon…a hot, refreshing collab…one you won't easily forget. MUAHAHAA! More info on that once it becomes available. In the meantime read my girl's story, I Don't Believe in Vampires by lazykate http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5462691/1/I_Dont_Believe_in_Vampires**

**A little bit of everything in this chappie, so enjoy!**

**-x-x-x-x-  
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***BPOV***

"Um, Daddy?"

I walked carefully down the remainder of the stairs and stood in front of my father who was lounging on the couch.

"Yeah, hon," he murmured distractedly.

I spoke quickly, trying like hell to rip off the band aid. "Um, do you care if I go back over to the Cullens today?"

Charlie glanced at me once before turning back to the game. "Again? You and Alice getting along that well?"

"Yeah…we are," I drifted off, wringing my hands together. Why the hell was I so nervous? What the fuck was wrong with a seventeen year old girl telling her father she had a boyfriend? It was now or never. "I'd actually be spending the day with her whole family….um, with Edward Cullen, too."

He sat up from the couch and stared pointedly at me. Sure, _now_ I had his full attention. He leaned his elbows on his knees as he looked at me curiously. "And why did you feel the need to single him out from everyone else, Isabella Marie?"

Fucking hell, he middle-named me.

"I don't know _Charles John_," I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest. Well, I promised Edward I'd try to act more like myself, but it probably wouldn't be a good idea to get my ass grounded right off the bat.

Charlie stared at me for a moment before chuckling. "You know, I've heard somewhere that teenage girls gave their fathers attitude…I just thought it was a myth but here you are, proving me wrong."

I smiled and sat down next to him. Neither one of us spoke for awhile, and I knew it would stay that way undoubtedly until I took the next step. "He's my boyfriend, Dad…and he's important."

Charlie heaved a great big sigh before slamming back his Coke. "I knew this day would come," he muttered, setting the empty can on the coffee table.

"He'll be here soon to pick me up…he wants to introduce himself," I mumbled, staring at the ceiling and concentrating on anything but the loaded silence in the room between us.

Charlie shook his head. "Is he a good kid?"

_Oh, real good, Dad. He fucked me up against the wall yesterday while you were home. He made me cum like eight times last night while you were gone, and today he's going to suck the blood from my femoral artery while I scream and writhe in ecstasy._

Hmm…probably not.

"Yeah, Dad, he really is. He gets straight A's and he's really smart. Dr. Carlisle is very proud of him…he's great."

I heard the soft hum of the Volvo pulling up and prepared myself for go time. "He's here…are you going to be nice?"

"Oh yeah, scouts honor," he said dryly.

_Christ._

I heard two soft raps and jumped a foot in the air, rushing over to the door and flinging it open. I sighed in relief at the sight of Edward…and then _groaned_ in arousal at the sight of Edward. Dark wash jeans and a midnight blue polo had him looking preppy and badass all in the same instant. It was doing nothing for my self-control….even though he was pissing me off with the amused look on his face. "I'm floundering," I groaned, "And you look really fucking hot today."

He chuckled and kissed my forehead, sliding his hand beneath my hair and pulling me to him by the base of my neck. "We'll be fine, beloved. I'm extremely charming."

"Oh believe me, I know," I murmured, leaning up and kissing his lips chastely.

"You look pretty tantalizing yourself," he whispered into my ear, drawing his finger along the V of my white long sleeve shirt.

"I don't," I assured him.

"hmm…you do," he growled playfully.

The next moment my father came trudging around the corner, and Edward took my hand. _Eye on the prize, Bella_. The sooner this was over with, the sooner I could spend the day with my vamp boy.

I looked up at Edward and he had an all-American smile plastered across his face. "Chief Swan. I'm Edward Cullen, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Edward," Charlie grumbled, shaking his hand firmly. Edward smirked in amusement and I could only imagine what was running through Charlie's mind at the moment. "What do you have planned for my daughter today?"

I snorted and he squeezed my hand, silently telling me to shut the hell up. "Well, it's something of a family day at the Cullen house. We may go for a hike, weather permitting. We'll just have to wait and see what pops up."

He glanced down at me and licked his lips, his insinuation obvious as he smirked shamelessly.

_We'll have to wait and see what pops up._

_Oh, that asshole._ He was so doing that shit on purpose. I choked back another laugh. Charlie observed Edward speculatively. "So if I call your father, he'll be confirming your plans?"

Edward held eye contact with my dad and dangled his phone in the air. "I'll call him now, if you'd like, sir."

Charlie nodded stiffly. "You do that, son."

"Dad, what's your problem?" I muttered in aggravation, running my fingers wildly through my hair.

"Excuse me, Isabella?"

I rolled my eyes. So now he wanted to play parental enforcer. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Nothing, Daddy," I sighed.

He spoke to Carlisle on the phone for several minutes, dropping the authoritative male act and joking around with Edward's father, even briefly talking sports. Sure, he's all sunshine and fucking daisies for _him._

He handed Edward his phone back and smirked at me. "Have a great time kids."

I glared at my father as we walked out the door and he held his hands up in surrender, chuckling at my expense.

My father knew exactly what he was doing…_so he was an asshole too._

Edward walked me swiftly to the passenger side of the Volvo and shut the door after me before walking to the driver's side at a leisurely pace. When he got in and shut his door, I started smacking the shit out of him while he laughed obnoxiously. "We'll have to see what pops up?"

His laughter was infectious, because I was doubled over in laughter before I knew it. "Bella, I was merely discussing our plans with your father. You're the one who took my words out of context and turned them into something inappropriate."

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Edward. You are so innocent…what was I thinking?"

He pulled out of my driveway and leaned over, pressing a kiss against my temple. "Come on now, Bella. It went pretty well, wouldn't you say?"

I smiled. "Yeah, even though I felt like I would vomit at any moment. What was he thinking anyway?"

Edward smirked and linked our fingers in my lap. "He was glad you were dating, glad you smarted off to him…glad you were finally coming out of your shell." He looked over at me and smiled crookedly. "Of course he was determining where to hide my body in case I did anything less than honorable to you."

I snorted. "If he only knew."

Edward sighed. "Indeed."

"So how was your talk with Carlisle last night…what did he say about Jake and the pack?"

"It went fine," he said casually. "I actually discussed it with the entire family. Esme and Alice were all for peace between us, even though Alice complained of their God awful smell. Carlisle was optimistic, but said, "It's a nice idea to further the alliance between ourselves and the Quileutes. But you can't let everything ride on something that may never come to pass. We need to be prepared—especially when it comes to Bella."

"Me?" I squeaked.

Edward chuckled. "Oh yes, Carlisle had plenty to say about you."

My stomach dropped and Edward drifted his fingers across my cheek. "All the color just left your face, beloved. You shouldn't worry so much; he had nothing but positive things to say."

"Then tell me what he said," I whispered hesitantly.

Edward sighed as if he were nervous about it, but acquiesced. "He said, and I quote, "I think Bella is absolutely fantastic. It's quite a wonder to see you two together, the way you feed off of each other, how in sync you are…it's astounding really. She's your mate, and finding the person who completes you should never be something your ashamed of, no matter the complications. Whatever you decide to do in the future, we'll support you. As far as we're concerned, Bella is your partner and therefore a member of our family. We'll protect her and care for her as such."

"He said all that?" I couldn't hide the shock in my voice…or the reverence.

"Verbatim," Edward grinned.

"How could you remember every word?" I asked incredulously.

He merely tapped his temple. "A vampire's memory is impeccable, Bella. I don't forget a thing."

"Like an elephant," I chuckled.

He tickled my side as I squirmed to get away from him and he continued. "Anyway, Rose and Emmett didn't really seem too keen on peace with the Quileutes, while Jasper was torn. He didn't want anything to start between us, but couldn't help running battle strategies through his mind."

"Why, was he a soldier or something?"

He nodded. "He was. He was changed during the Civil War. He fought vampires later on as well…after he was turned. I guess that's a long story."

"There's so much I don't know," I whispered softly.

Edward squeezed my knee. "We've got time, Bella."

"Yeah, you keep saying that," I murmured. The truth was, we didn't…and the more I thought about my future with Edward, the more I realized that it left me with only one option—to become like him. Even more shocking was the fact that I wanted it more than anything, but I knew now wasn't the time to start bringing up our options when it came to eternity.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" I was so caught up in my thoughts I barely realized he was speaking to me.

"I just asked if you were alright," Edward spoke softly.

I smiled. "I'm more than alright. Now hurry up, I want to cuddle with you in your bed."

"I'm going 85," he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes. "Edward, this is a _Volvo XC60_…are you meaning to tell me it only goes 85…or are you just too much of a pansy to go any faster?"

He slammed the pedal to the floor and leaned over to suck on my neck thoroughly. "You drive me crazy, beautiful girl," he murmured against my skin.

I eyed the Xbox controller in my hand skeptically. "So, what do I need to do?"

Emmett sighed, plopping down next to me and Jasper on the couch. "I showed you already. Pick your weapon, and when those bastards jump out at you, you shoot the hell out of them. It's fun."

I observed him carefully. "I'm good at Guitar Hero."

Jasper chuckled. "You don't stand a chance against us, Bella. Inhuman speed and all, remember?"

I nodded. "And what's this game called?"

"Vampire Rain," Emmett shrugged.

"Okay, so you have a game where vampires are the bad guys….and you're training me to kill them, is that right?"

Emmett rolled his eyes playfully. "Just give me the controller, little girl."

"Piss off, It's my turn," I growled, jerking it away from his grip.

"Then kick some vampire ass already!" he bellowed, ruffling my hair into a snarled mess.

Edward had disappeared to talk to Carlisle, and I suddenly wondered how sound of an idea it was to leave me with his brothers.

I stood up in front of the TV and braced myself for total vampire annihilation. It took me awhile to get the hang of it, but after twenty minutes, those dirty vamps didn't stand a chance against my oozie.

_Bitches._

Jasper and Emmett were yelling out frantic instructions left and right.

"There's one behind you!"

"Blow that fucker's brains out!"

"Run, there's too many!"

But when a pleasant female voice told me to ditch the oozie for the machine gun and wipe their asses out, I had to hit pause.

Esme just grinned at me. "What? I like this game."

I laughed hysterically at her and went back to the task at hand. After another twenty minutes, my hands were aching…and every member of the Cullen family—apart from Rosalie—had managed to sneak in without my knowledge and watch me demolish some vampires.

"Damn , little girl. You just dominated," Emmett bellowed.

I scoffed. "Like there was ever any doubt." I handed him the controller and gave him a noogie, immediately retracting my hand. "Christ, Emmett. Your head is fucking harder than titanium."

He knocked on his skull. "Nothing can get inside this baby."

"Obviously," I snorted and he swatted at me playfully before Edward grabbed my hand.

He pulled me down into his lap on the couch and kissed my cheek. "I'm impressed," he murmured.

"I've got many talents, Edward Cullen," I smirked, looking intently into his eyes.

He licked his lips slowly and pressed his nose against mine. "You wanna get out of here?" he whispered suggestively.

I trapped my bottom lip between my teeth. "Fuck yes I do," I breathed, kissing him chastely. "But I promised your sister some mani-pedi time."

"She did, Edward. You need to share her like a good boy," Alice trilled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What am I, the shiny new toy?" I feigned insult.

Edward's teeth ghosted along the shell of my ear. "Mmmm…I _do_ enjoy playing with you..."

_Fuck. Me._

Emmett and Jasper cracked up laughing. "Jazz, do you enjoy playing with me?" Emmett batted his eyelashes.

"Oh, I really do. The way you dominate in Vampire Rain…drives me wild, Em."

I growled and chucked a pillow at their faces. "You guys are asshats."

Edward chuckled. "Get used to it, Bella. They're combined mentality is equivalent to a twelve year old. You'll just have to learn to ignore them." He kissed my neck, sending a shiver through my spine.

I looked up at Alice innocently before jumping out of Edward's lap like someone lit a fire under my ass. "Let's do this thing, Alice. I've got places to be and things to do."

"Vampires to do, you mean," she mumbled under her breath. I slapped her and turned beet red as everyone in the room, even Carlisle, chuckled at me.

"I'm ignoring you all," I smiled sweetly as we walked out of the room, knowing I'd have to get used to the invasion of privacy sooner or later.

To me, it was a small price to pay for everything I'd be gaining in return.

"So where's the charming Ms. Rosalie today?" I questioned innocently as Alice filed my nails.

"She's out in the garage working on her Camaro," she sighed distantly.

"I still feel really bad for splitting you all up," I muttered, looking down at my lap.

Alice scoffed. "Please, Bella. We've been over this."

"I know," I sighed. I observed Alice quietly for awhile before continuing. "Alice, have you seen much of the future…I mean regarding Edward and I?"

She looked up at me knowingly. "I know as much as you do, human. Once you make a decision, I merely see how it plays out."

I rolled my eyes. "Just because I've made a decision doesn't mean I can single handedly make it happen."

Alice giggled. "You mean you can't turn yourself into a vampire?"

My eyes widened.

"He can't either, you know."

"Yeah, I realize," I murmured, staring out the window.

"It doesn't mean you can't have it, sweetie," she said optimistically.

"I know, but…" I hesitated, realizing that Edward could probably hear me from anywhere in the house. "Can he..hear…this?"

Alice smiled and shook her head. "No, he's in the woods with Jasper while he hunts. You're safe."

"Good," I sighed. "Anyway, I want it to be him, ya know? More importantly, I want him to _want _to do it. I want him to want _me_ for eternity."

Alice looked at me with an all knowing smirk. "If you'd just stop doubting yourself and look at the facts, you'd already know the answer to that question."

She was right. I couldn't deny it…he wanted me just like I wanted him.

My brow furrowed in contemplation, and finally Alice took pity on me. "Look Bella, I've seen you as one of us…but that can always change. The one thing I haven't seen is how you _become_ one of us, and who's responsible for your transformation."

My heart hammered heavily. "You really saw it?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, but there's no point in dwelling on it. Things need to run their course, Bella…there's no need to over think things that you have no control over."

I nodded. "I won't, Alice. But I _will_ start to get real fucking ansty in about two seconds if you don't finish this shit up."

Alice gaped at me. "I'm shocked, Bella! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you weren't enjoying our sisterly bonding time."

I laughed at her and decided that I would go shopping with her in Seattle next weekend. Her entire face lit up a moment later. "Oh my God, I love you!" she squealed, diving on top of me and squeezing me tightly.

I chuckled and struggled to push her off, but to no avail. "Vamp girl, you're suffocating me! I promise we'll spend the day shopping, but damn, I really need to get into that boy's bedroom. I've been looking forward to it all day."

"Fine, they're back anyway," she sighed, crawling off of me and packing up her supplies. She smiled happily at me. "Go get him, Tiger. I'm so happy for you two, Bella."

I grinned at her and kissed her cold forehead. "Thanks, vamp girl."

I no sooner had Alice's bedroom door open before I was tossed over Edward's shoulder and whisked up to the third level of the house.

***EPOV***

When I returned to Bella's window earlier this morning, I was surprised to find her showered and clothed for the day. She crossed her arms and said with a determined huff, "I want to see your room."

Apparently it just couldn't wait, but I had my own stipulations before I gave in. I hung in her bedroom window, my elbows on the sill as she knelt in front of me and kissed me softly. "I'll take you to my bedroom once you introduce me to your father."

Her eyes widened and her pulse started humming rapidly. It was quite endearing, how nervous she was.

After some convincing and several promising words of pleasure, she finally agreed. The meeting with Charlie went as I expected. He was protective, but relieved Bella was coming out of her shell. He was no fool…he knew the "daddy" act wasn't entirely true. Bella just needed to realize her father loved _her_…not the angel she was trying to be.

I'd meddle if push came to shove, but I was confident that my human girl would figure it out on her own…she was rather brilliant, after all.

I set her down gently as we entered my room, shutting the door softly behind us. Her eyes were wide and her heart was beating rapidly as she leisurely observed the features of my room.

There wasn't much to see. I had black curtains hanging over the floor to ceiling windows, drowning out the light of day I used to resent. My bedspread was deep gold, Alice claiming I needed something to brighten my shadowy room. The entire south wall was lined with shelves, half filled with books, the other half filled with endless rows of CDs. I used to lock myself away for days, losing myself in manuscripts and music and solitude. Now, all I wanted to do was lose myself in her.

She bit her lip and smiled as she ran her fingers along the spines of my books. She paused at my walk-in closet and stuck her head inside, inhaling deeply and closing her eyes. "Ugh, it smells just like you in here…so perfect," she sighed.

I was behind her with my arms wrapped around her waist before the entire sentence left her lips. I kissed her temple gently. "It's not very welcoming…my room."

She turned in my arms and looked as though I offended her. "It is," she whispered with a smile, walking over to the window and drawing back a set of curtains. "It just needs a little light."

I looked at her intently from across the room, the vision of her in my quarters making me downright jovial. "This room was bursting with light the moment you walked through the door, beloved."

She shook her head and beamed at me as she sauntered towards my bed. "When did you get so sweet? I thought you were a dirty vamp boy, crazed with bloodlust and sexual desire?" she stared up at me beneath her lashes, attempting to play coy and failing miserably.

She pulled back my covers and crawled inside…already I could feel my eyes darkening. "You've changed me," I murmured, the sight of her in my bed overtaking me with desire. Now my sheets would smell like her…now my dwellings were absorbed in nothing _but_ her_._

"For the better?"

I smiled and nodded. "Better than I ever thought I could be."

She moaned softly in the back of her throat before lifting the covers up and off of her. "Come in here with me, please?" she whispered.

I was wrapped in her then. Warm, soft skin holding me so tightly against the plushy mattress of my king size bed. I groaned, inhaling her tantalizing scent trapped between the sheets that enclosed us, reveling in the girl I could never seem to get quite close enough to. "You don't have pictures," she breathed against my lips. "You don't have pictures or keepsakes anywhere…don't you want to remember your life?"

I exhaled deeply. "I never wanted to be reminded, I suppose. I've been miserable for so long, Bella. Maybe it was the guilt over the girl I murdered, or the insecurities I felt, or the fact that life and love were lost on me. But for the longest time I've just locked myself away, trying to forget the possibility that there could be more out there for me."

She kissed my lips firmly, her tongue snaking out to taste mine. "Edward," she breathed my name heavily like it was something sacred. "There is more…it's right in front of you. I want to be the one to give you everything you feel unworthy of. You deserve it, baby. We both do."

I swallowed thickly and ran my hands up and down her back beneath her shirt, pressing my forehead against hers. This conversation was quickly turning into something more meaningful than I ever could have imagined. Oddly enough, it wasn't hesitation I felt…it was determination. "I want you to be mine forever, Bella. There's only one way to make that to happen."

She was silent for a moment, her whole body freezing as she absorbed my words and stroked her fingers lazily through my unruly hair. "You want the truth, flat out?"

My eyes widened. "Yes, of course I do."

She leaned up on her elbow, bringing her face level with mine as she ran her fingers along my cheek. "Edward, I know I was meant to exist with you…with this family. It all just feels so right, and I want to be a vampire. It's not like it was a lifelong goal of mine or anything, but the idea of limitless amounts of time by your side…I couldn't ask for anything more."

My dead heart clenched viciously…because she wanted it too. "Bella," I whispered, fingering her bite mark slowly.

"Let me finish," she sighed. "Here are my hesitations. I don't want anyone else's teeth in my body, I don't want my blood on anyone else's tongue-but yours. And I can't have that."

Just the thought of someone else changing my human girl, even Carlisle, made me growl in jealousy. I should be the one to do it, _because she was mine_. The ache resounded deep in my chest at the harsh realization that I could never bring my human girl into the life we both desired. My inabilities were a blessing and a curse to us both. "What else?" I questioned.

"The biggest reason," she whispered, placing her palm against my cheek. "I love the fact that my blood makes you feel so satisfied, provokes so much life inside of you. To know that something coming from me makes you feel so fulfilled means more to me than anything. I can't stand the thought of taking that away from you."

I let out a chuckle, bewildered at the words she had just spoken. Clearly she didn't understand at all. "Bella," I laughed once more, shaking my head in amazement. "Your blood is more satiating, more appetizing than anything I've ever tasted…but that's not what fulfills me, and it sure as hell isn't what brings me to life." She looked at me in confusion and I couldn't help pressing my lips against hers. "It's _you_, beloved," I whispered softly, threading my fingers between the silky strands of her hair. "Just being with you satisfies me entirely. Your blood is an added perk, but taking that away wouldn't take away my light…my purpose…you, my beautiful girl, are solely responsible for rescuing me from my own personal hell."

I could smell the salt of her tears forming in her eyes…the last thing I wanted was for her to start crying because of me. She climbed on top of me and straddled my waist, kissing me desperately and gasping for air as she trapped herself against my chest. "Are you really saying that you want me with you…forever?"

I groaned against her tongue, but couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. "Bella," I murmured happily, "That's exactly what I'm fucking saying."

She hummed into my mouth. "You have no idea what it does to me….to hear you say things like that."

I smiled and kissed her once more. "Do you really want to see who I once was?"

"I really do," she whispered earnestly.

I slid her off of me and leaned over to retrieve the velvet keepsake box from beneath my bed. My eyes widened when I felt her squeezing my ass. I looked up at her and she smiled sheepishly. "What? I don't get to appreciate your fine ass enough, Edward."

I lay on my side facing her, my head in my hand. "You can appreciate anything you'd like, beloved," I murmured suggestively.

I licked my lips as the sweet scent of her arousal filled the air between us. "Show me," she pleaded.

I set the box between us and delicately opened the antique lid. I took a deep breath and broke down the wall I'd built around myself so many years ago. "Family picture…human family, I should say."

Bella took the aged picture from my hand, her eyes widening as she studied the black and white graciousness of my mother. The solemn stance of my father. The messy haired, obnoxious eight year old boy that I once was. "You're so beautiful," she whispered in an awed tone.

I could never understand why she revered me so.

She flipped the picture over and furrowed her brow. "The Masens," she said slowly.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," I sighed.

She smirked. "Hmm, that's a mouthful."

I laughed. "You've corrupted me, Bella. The words "I'll give you a mouthful" nearly fell from my lips."

She wiped a fake tear from her eye. "I'm so proud."

I kissed the top of her head and ran my hands along her arms as she gazed at the picture.

"What color were your eyes?" she wondered softly.

I brushed the hair away from her face. "Guess."

She stared at me intensely for a moment before pressing her nose against mine and kissing me passionately. Her fingers curled around my jaw and held me against her as she smiled against my lips. "Green."

I gaped at her. "How could you possibly know that…green is rather uncommon."

She giggled. "You're rather uncommon as well." She laid her head on my chest and held the picture above her. "You're so rare, so unlike anything else, Edward. Bronze hair and green eyes seemed like the only option to me."

I watched her in wonder as she gazed at the photo in her hands.

She stared at it for nearly a half an hour, ghosting her finger along my image but never actually touching the picture. Every so often she'd comment on what features I'd received from which parent, and I'd smile at her observations.

I spoke of my parents-what I could remember about them-and the aspects of my life as a boy growing up in Chicago. She was entranced in my reverie, asking questions about the finest details of my life and hanging on every word I spoke. It was endearing to see how desperately she wanted to know who I once was.

"What else do you have in there?" she asked quietly, taking one last look at the picture before hesitantly handing it back to me. I kissed her forehead and took it from her fingers, placing it back in the box and retrieving the next item. She gasped and took the bauble gingerly.

"Oh my God, Edward," she exclaimed in astonishment. "This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"It was my mother's engagement ring," I spoke softly, running my finger along the stones as she held it. I suddenly wondered what it would look like on her delicate finger. It would look like it was meant to be there, of that I had no doubt.

"Do you really like it?" I questioned intently.

"It's amazing," she beamed. "It's just…perfect."

What a strange sensation this exchange elicited inside of me.

We went through a few more items in the velvet box…insignificant pieces of my past life that I couldn't bear to part with. Most of it was useless—old baseball cards, my first sheet of music, the playbill to a show I'd gone to, meaningless belongings that made up the mortal Edward Masen…and for some reason she revered them like they were sacred to her.

I needed nothing but her now.

After Bella had observed all there was to see, I slid the box underneath my bed and pulled her on top of me. I sighed contentedly as her lips met mine, her hair falling around my face and concealing us from the outside world. "Was that difficult for you…showing me all those things?" she questioned, running her hands along my sides.

I shook my head. "No, I wanted you to see them. I _want _you to know me, Bella…to really know me."

She smiled against my lips. "I think I like you, Edward Cullen."

I chuckled. "I think I _more_ than like you, Bella Swan." I ran my tongue along her bite mark and groaned. "Mmmmm…Bella?"

She released a breathy whimper in response and I ran my hands beneath her shirt. "Shall we go have another romp in the forest?"

She clasped her chest and gleamed at me brightly. "Oh, Edward! Yes, yes, a thousand times, yes!"

I laughed at her boisterously. "Watch it, _Isabella_…I can find a much more prosperous use for that smart mouth of yours."

She shook her head in wonder. "It's like we really are animals, humping in the woods all the time."

My brow furrowed. "What if I bring a blanket this time?"

She tipped her head in contemplation before smiling widely. "Well played, sir. C'mon…ravish me in the woods, vamp boy."

I growled and slapped her ass as we climbed off the bed.

"What is this place?" Bella questioned, taking in her surroundings of wildflowers and soft, long grass. It was growing late in the afternoon, the air still humid but breezy as the deeper colors of evening started to break over the horizon.

I laid the blanket across the forest floor and pulled her down on it with me, causing her to giggle. She rarely sounded so carefree…I'd do whatever I could to make that sound come from her lips as much as possible. "This is a field I stumbled upon while hunting one day…it's kind of an anomaly, such a serene piece of land amongst mossy trees and heavy concealment. It's in the middle of nowhere, so no one can hear your screams," I deadpanned, shrugging my shoulders indifferently.

She smirked sinfully and squeezed my cock like a vice through my jeans. "Screams of pain or pleasure?"

"Your wish, my command," I murmured against her neck, letting my teeth grace across her bite mark.

"Then I choose both," she whispered into my hair, pulling the tendrils tightly in her fists. "Please, take it."

I growled savagely, swallowing back the pooling venom in my mouth as I flipped her over and hovered above her writhing form. "Take what?"

She groaned and slapped me in the chest. "Don't you dare cockblock me, vamp boy. I will take you _out_."

I chuckled and lowered my lips to her ear, my fingers working nimbly to unfasten the button of her jeans. My mouth was wet against the shell of her ear as I breathed heavily. "But don't you want to feed me, beautiful girl?"

Bella shivered against me, sending chills of anticipation up my spine. She slid her hands beneath my shirt, pulling it off of me and bringing the heat of her body that much closer to my skin. "You fucking know I do," she groaned.

I pushed my cock firmly between her legs, letting the torture of separation drive us mad. "Do you feel that?" I whispered breathlessly into her mouth. "Do you feel how fucking hard you make me…constantly?"

"I want it," she whimpered, desperately trying to hold onto me by the hair as I broke free from her grip and slid my tongue down her body with every button of her shirt I released.

"You aren't getting it," I murmured darkly, sucking on her hipbone as I removed her offending clothing with inhuman speed. I stared at the smooth ivory skin of my human girl, almost glowing transparent in the darkening light of day. I could spend hours, days, maybe even fucking years, gazing at the masterpiece that was her body.

My eyes traveled over her bottom lip, wet from her hot little tongue and trembling with the need for more. They wandered lower to her perfectly round breasts…it was as if they were molded for my hands, my lips. I watched the way her torso narrowed and widened slightly at her hips, her stomach flat but soft and absolutely mouthwatering.

"Edward, please," she whimpered gently, her hand starting to shake as she reached up and ran her fingers along my jaw.

I couldn't deny her a thing.

I slid down her body, taking her legs gently and spreading them wide. My nostrils flared at the sight of her pink, dripping core, and the miraculously sweet scent it carried. "You're so wet for me, beloved…tell me why." My voice was so soft I was surprised she even heard me.

Her legs trembled against my sides, gripping my body and trying desperately to hold me in place. "Because…_fuck_…because just knowing that your teeth are going to be in my flesh gets me so worked up, I nearly cum just thinking about it."

I moaned, sliding my palms up her inner thighs and resting them on my shoulders as I brought my mouth inches from salvation. I inhaled deeply, allowing myself to become fogged in the hazy euphoria of her breathtaking body. I looked up at her from beneath my lashes, placing a soft kiss just above her clit. "Dinner is served," I whispered darkly, dragging the tip of my tongue along her wet slit and never breaking contact with her wide eyes.

She screamed in sweet torture, wrapping her fingers in my hair and pulling hard enough to send twinges of pleasure from my scalp straight to my aching cock. I pushed my hips against the hard ground, trying to find some relief as I buried my face in her soaking wet pussy.

She nearly squirmed out of my grip as a constant slew of breathy profanities fell from her lips. I threw my arm across her waist and trapped her against me, bringing my other hand between her legs and spreading her wide. I pushed my tongue inside her, a heavy moan escaping from my throat as she clamped her tight walls around the tip of my tongue.

I devoured her, swallowing her sweet juices and reveling in the texture of her wet core against my taste buds. Being surrounded by my human girl in such a way was something I revered…something I craved just as much as her blood. I lifted my face from her succulent heat and slowly slid two fingers inside her body. "I'm going to suck your pussy for fucking days, beloved, once you're like me…once you're unbreakable."

She cried out loudly as I curled my fingers inside of her, hitting the sweet spot that nearly made her cum on contact. "Please, Edward," she whimpered, her head thrashing from side to side as she fought not to lose control. "Please, please, please…"

I twisted my fingers inside of her, letting my thumb brush slowly against her swollen clit. "Look at me, Bella."

Her clasped eyes released and met my pitch black stare. She bit her lip viciously as she panted heavily, losing herself in the sight of me between her legs. "Watch, baby. Watch what you do to me…"

She moaned at my words, and I placed one long slow, wet kiss against her clit before dragging my tongue down to her inner thigh. I closed my eyes and allowed another primal instinct to take over. I let the predator out of his cage. Bella would never be harmed by my hand, but I always fought to suppress my bloodlust in her presence…until moments like these.

Moments where I could close my eyes and hear the rapid thumping of thick fluid racing beneath a thin surface of skin…begging me to partake. I hummed in contentment as I let the slow ache build in my throat…the prickling sensation of my most favorite meal being laid out and served on a silver fucking platter. This was _my time_…my time to let the monster rear his ugly head and indulge greedily while the man who was enamored by the source of the meal could watch intently…making sure the meaning of his existence was kept safe while the monster had his way. Hell, even the beast enjoyed watching Bella scream and writhe and cum from the forceful suck of his lips and the sting of his teeth.

It was time to claim what was _mine_.

I broke my eyes away from the steady pulse of her femoral artery to meet her anxious stare. "I want you to cum on my fingers the fucking second your blood covers my tongue, do you understand me?"

She released a strangled cry, her fingers reaching down to ghost along my forehead. "It's yours, Edward. I'm yours."

Her fingers drifted down to my lips and I kissed them. "I'll never harm you, beloved."

I kissed her fingers once more and pushed mine further inside of her, grinning wickedly as I felt her muscles contract around me. I looked up to ensure she was watching intently. I needed her to know what she did to me.

I licked slowly along the thumping skin of her thigh, dragging my nose along it and savoring my drink like a fine wine. I kissed her flesh, letting my teeth drag gently along it before the temptation was too strong to ignore.

And with a growl in my throat and my fingers buried deep inside of her, my teeth sunk effortlessly into her pale, glorious skin.

Her screams of pleasure echoed throughout the deserted woods. Her sweet liquid seeped from her body in waves as she came all over my hand. I groaned and whimpered desperately as my fingers wrapped around her hip and held her in place as the delicious crimson left her body and slid down my throat.

I closed my eyes and felt my entire body trembling violently as the warmth of her essence spread through my chest, down to my stomach. The feeling of completion was heavy inside of me as I drank my human girl's blood.

Her fingers drifted into my hair as she breathed sporadically. "Take it, baby….please, it's yours…it's yours Edward." She was rambling almost as if she were intoxicated by the act of my nature.

I pressed my tongue against her open wound and lifted my gaze to hers. Her eyelids were heavy with lust and blatant adoration for me. I could never begin to describe how truly blessed I was to have found this girl. I'd gladly live a thousand lifetimes of depression and solitude, if I knew she would be waiting for me at the end of it. "Fuck, let me taste it," she whimpered, pulling my hair in tight fistfuls and urging me towards her mouth.

I slid my hand up her leg and clamped my palm flat against her thigh as I clamored up her body. She looked as if she were mesmerized as she stared up at me. She brought her index finger to my lip, swiping against it and covering her finger with a smear of her blood. She slipped it into her mouth, her eyes closing as her cheeks hollowed from the power of her suck.

I ground my denim covered cock against her bare pussy fervently, the sight of her tasting her own blood driving me absolutely fucking crazy. I pulled her finger from her lips and replaced it with my tongue, stroking every inch of her mouth and letting the iron decadence of her blood touch every taste bud, every surface inside of her. She moaned gutturally and clamped her teeth around my tongue, flicking the tip with hers as she held me in place.

She let go with an audible slurp as I looked down to make sure no blood was being spilled. My grip was firm over her wound, so I kept thrusting my rock solid cock against her soft, hot pussy. "Fuck me," she whimpered forcefully, pulling me down against her and kissing me with a fiery passion that neither one of us could control. "Fuck me right now…I need your cock inside of me."

I groaned, struggling to release myself from my confines as my other hand stayed clamped around her leg. I knew she'd probably have bruises from my fingertips, but the thought of my cock in her heat and the taste of her blood on my tongue nearly sent me into a frenzy.

The moment I wrestled my throbbing dick out of my boxers, I was buried inside of her. I couldn't savor the feeling of becoming consumed by her burn and her very essence. No, I needed it hard and fucking fast…and it wouldn't take long for me to reach my earth shattering climax.

"God, _yes_," she cried against my lips, her forehead crashing against mine as she moved her hips hard enough to create a loud slapping sound as our bodies connected.

"Bella," I groaned between clenched teeth. "You're going to make me cum so fucking hard, beloved. I'm going to cum so…fucking…hard." My strangled grunts were pouring out of my mouth as I raced towards my release.

I slammed into her viciously just as the scream left her lips, her hot, tight walls clenching down on my cock as she fell apart around me. I moaned loudly and wrapped both hands around her shoulders, pounding her swollen pussy relentlessly until the rubber band snapped and I came violently, thick spurts of my fluid filling up my girl as I claimed what was rightfully mine. I kissed her with a heavy, wet tongue as I thrust inside of her shallowly.

She was whimpering and shaking fiercely beneath me, and the only thing that broke me from the beauty of my human girl's post coital glow…was the wet warmth I felt on the side of my thigh.

I was between her legs in an instant, my tongue sliding up and down her thigh, collecting each drop of blood leaked and swallowing it with enthusiasm. I lifted two fingers to her clit and massaged it with heavy, slow circles as she trembled around me.

Once the blood from my momentary lapse was ingested and burning down my throat, I concentrated on her throbbing core. I watched in wonderment as my cum slid out from between her legs, the sight of it mesmerizing me as I swallowed wave after wave of her blood.

With the clench of her entire body and an intense little squeak from her lips, she came once more…and I knew it was time to end my feast.

I stroked her slit slowly as I ran my tongue back and forth over her freshly bitten skin, sealing yet another wound I inflicted. Once her blood stopped flowing from her vein, my usual paranoia set in.

I lifted her and laid her head against my chest, burying my nose in her hair and stroking along her delicate spine. "Are you alright, Bella?"

She sighed deeply. "I'm so unbelievably perfect, Edward, I can't even find the words."

I let out a deep breath of air in relief.

She kissed my chest and traced her fingers lazily across my abdomen. "Holy shit, Edward," she laughed incredulously.

I ran my hand through my hair and smiled widely. "That was…"

"Fucking hot," Bella mused.

"Understatement of the century, beautiful girl," I murmured against her hair before kissing it softly. "Are you sure I didn't take too much?"

She shrugged. "You definitely took more than you have in the past. I mean, I feel pretty weak, but I always feel like this after you've thoroughly worked me out."

"I need to be more careful," I chastised myself.

"You were perfect," she whispered before letting out a soft chuckle. "Edward, the look on your face…God, you were so fucking beautiful when you tasted my blood. It was like you were completely hypnotized. I will never get that image out of my head as long as I live."

"Everything about you entrances me, Bella, it's not just drinking from you," I spoke softly. "It's the honor of having your blood and your body and your…admiration. The combination of the three is enough to render me speechless."

"Oh, you certainly have all three of those things…believe me. Fucking hell," she sighed, running her hand along my hip.

I smiled cheerfully and held her tighter against me, absorbing myself in the pure fucking bliss that overtook me with every moment spent with my magnificent human girl. "Did you enjoy yourself today?" I whispered.

She scoffed. "What do you think, Edward?"

I laughed. "I mean our discussions…we don't spend much of our time talking, Bella."

She kissed my chest softly. "I think we should do more of it. There's so much I want to know…and so much I want to tell you."

We laid there in silence for quite awhile as I mulled over her words. She wanted to confide in me, and there was no time like the present to begin. "Will you tell me about your mother?"

Her grip around me tightened as she lifted her head to look at me. She stopped breathing and her eyes widened.

"What?" I questioned. "You don't have to if you don't want to, Bella."

"Nothing, it's just your eyes…they're so beautiful," she smiled sadly, tracing my cheekbones before leaning up and kissing me firmly on the lips. "My mother died of ovarian cancer when I was twelve."

I ran my hands up and down her back soothingly, kissing her nose. "The first time we were together, you told me it was the only time you cried over her death."

She nodded. "Yeah…um, my stepdad was pretty torn up about it, so I had to stay strong. And then eventually Phil went back on the road. He wanted me….well, he said he wanted me to stay with him, but I wasn't an idiot. I saw the hesitation in his eyes every time he said it. I couldn't blame him, you know? I mean who wants to get saddled with someone else's kid when you have a life of your own?"

"Bella," I whispered, pulling her closer and pressing my lips into her hair.

"It worked out, Edward. I wanted to live with Charlie anyway, because my mother's death was even harder on him than it was for Phil. He still loved her…so fucking much, it was sad. Their wedding photos are still covering the mantle. It's like he never let her go…and she just didn't realize how dedicated he was to her."

"So you didn't cry because you didn't want to upset your father?" I asked softly, the veneration thick in my voice. My human girl was so fucking amazing…never putting herself before anyone else. Didn't she know how special she was?

She nodded in response to my question, wiping her cheeks as the tears finally fell. "Yeah…Charlie was pretty distraught for the first six months I was with him…he even took a personal leave from the station. I had to take care of him…I love my dad…I hate that he's alone because he deserves to love someone, and to be loved in return."

"He's lucky to have you, beloved," I murmured against her ear. "I'd like to hear more, but only if you want to tell me."

She sniffed and leaned up on my chest to face me. "Um…I was a brat when I lived in Phoenix." I smiled at her softly and she continued. "I'm not proud of it, and I guess I still am a brat to a point, but I was the kid who picked on the girl in glasses, or bragged about having more money than children who had less than me. I was a little bitch…but so was my mother."

I stilled against her and she continued. "I'm not saying I don't love her, and God knows I wish she were still here. But she was full of herself and she could be cruel to others. And I must sound like a real fucking bitch for speaking of my dead mother like this."

"You don't," I whispered. "Just keep talking."

"Um, when she got sick and all her hair fell out, she cried for three days straight. I heard her wailing in her room one night…talking to God or Buddha or who knows what higher power. She was begging for forgiveness, apologizing for turning up her nose and judging those less fortunate than her. She cried for who she had become, and promised she was good underneath it all. And I knew she was…and I knew I was too. After that night, I spent nearly every waking minute with her."

I didn't know what to do or say to comfort her as she spilled her heart to me. So I pressed my lips to her temple and stroked her bare back, showing my concern the only way I knew how. She was silent for a moment before suddenly finding her voice. "At the…at the end—she was in the hospital for a couple weeks, still fighting. And she promised me she wouldn't leave me. She promised that she'd fight and she'd watch me find my first boyfriend, watch me go off to college, watch her grandchildren grow up. She fucking promised me, Edward, and she died the next night."

I sighed unevenly, watching her unravel before me and realizing just why she felt like everyone would leave her…and why she felt she had to be flawless to appease her father. It made my eyes sting. "She shouldn't have promised you that, Bella." I didn't want to upset her, but I promised I would never lie to her. "Humans are so fragile, so limited with time. You can't make such a promise as that…there's never any way of knowing."

She pressed her lips to mine. "And what if I die tomorrow?"

I growled, grabbing her shoulders. "Don't you ever fucking say that, Bella! You can't say things like that to me!"

I felt the panic rising in my chest, the blinding fear that my purpose could so easily be taken away from me. Anything could happen and I just let her go about her day when she could be taken from me at any minute. How had I not realized this before?

She sensed my anxiety and wrapped her warm body around me, comforting me and putting my feelings above hers just like she always did. It wasn't fucking right. "Bella," I groaned through tight lips. "I won't let anything happen to you, beloved. All I want is to make you happy."

"You make me so happy, Edward," she whispered. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Anything."

"Will you tell me about the girl you killed?" she requested softly.

My eyes closed tightly as an onslaught of memories washed through my mind. I just wanted to forget. But I owed it to her, since she just divulged painful information to me moments ago. Truthfully, she needed to know. If she wasn't aware of every aspect of my life, then she wouldn't truly know me like I wanted her to. "It was a rainy July day…on the outskirts of Chicago."

She squeezed my hand and urged me to continue. "It was 1979, and I was away from my family for the time being. I wanted to visit my hometown and I just needed…to be away from the happy couples. It made me resent them so much because there was no one in this world for me."

Bella smiled. "Because I wasn't born yet."

I kissed her forehead and returned her smile. "Precisely, beloved. Anyway, it was just before evening and I was walking the old streets, which had turned into very shady districts of Chicago. And there was a vampire, there was one of us lingering in front of a sleazy looking bar."

"We recognized our nature immediately, our similarity drawing us into discussion. I told him of my family's lifestyle, not taking human life, and he scoffed at the notion. He said he'd rather be ripped and burned than exist without human blood. We went into the dimly lit bar, and it reeked of alcohol and smoke and sex and unappealing blood. James was in his element."

"Did you taste anyone that night?" she asked softly.

I shook my head. "The only human blood I've ever tasted is Rosalie's—which I'm obviously not proud of—and yours."

"Okay, go ahead then."

I sighed and continued. "James ensnared two leggy females in his trap of enchantment…he guaranteed me that the combination of "fucking them and draining them" would be unlike anything in this world."

"I had never aspired to take human life. Our existence with Carlisle was so docile that the life of a killer really didn't even seem like something I had to endeavor, even if it was in my nature. But the sex…that was something I had always been curious about."

Bella sucked in a sharp breath.

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" I asked.

She nodded.

"So the girl-I didn't even bother getting her name—was all over me. She crawled in my lap and writhed and it was all so foreign and confusing to me but…I wanted to see what sex was. So she asked me if I wanted to get out of there, and I agreed. James was already half way out the door with his conquest, but he shook my hand and said we'd meet again…maybe even make this routine permanent, baiting and killing women."

"I smiled politely and let him think what he wished, since I had no plans of ever seeing him again and there was no need to offend him. We walked into the dark alley next to the bar, the girl and I. The only sounds were the distant bellowing of drunks and her heavy breathing. She had big blue eyes and bright red lips to match her fiery hair. She was so young and I ended her life so quickly." I drifted off, my hand starting to shake as I retold my tale.

Bella held me firmly in place, telling me it was okay. I nodded. "She told me she wanted to make me feel good and began unbuttoning my pants. I thought she'd just touch me but she dropped to her knees in front of me and I didn't know what to expect. And then her mouth was so wet and warm, and it was so shocking…like nothing I'd ever felt before. It was a reflex, Bella. I jerked into her mouth because it was intense and her neck fucking cracked and I murdered her."

Bella ran her fingers through my hair. "It's okay, baby. You made a mistake, and you need to realize how miniscule killing one human is when you are what you are. Vampires kill humans, thousands of them. You killed one…why would you beat yourself up over that?"

"Because I never wanted this life. I never wanted to kill like others of my kind. I just wanted to exist…find a little happiness, maybe, if I were lucky enough. Things were dark for so long…"

She held my face in her hands. "They aren't anymore, Edward. We'll be happy, won't we? I mean we both have a fuckton of issues to work through, but I don't see a future without you in it…"

"I know, Bella," I murmured. "You're what I've been searching for…the only thing I'll ever need in this world."

She kissed me passionately, her hands curling in my hair as she pulled herself closer. "What happened….after?" she whispered breathlessly as she pulled away.

I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know. I stared at her for a minute, watching the paleness of her face and the wide, empty look in her eyes. Nothing in her body seemed to move at all…and then voices were everywhere…so I ran. I ran straight up to Alaska where the rest of the family was visiting acquaintances of ours…and I never looked back. I just left her there to rot like a dog in the street."

"Hey," Bella whispered, pulling my face until our eyes connected. "I talked shit about my dead mother, and you dicked a girl to death. If that isn't a match made in heaven, I don't know what is."

I chuckled heartily. Leave it to my girl to lighten up even the darkest of moods. "Thank you for opening up to me."

"Hmm, likewise," she murmured against my lips. "Now it's time to put my clothes back on before my nipples fall off."

My brow creased. "That would be unspeakable, beloved."

And then I smelled it.

The potent, stinging scent of a werewolf…a werewolf that had no business being on my land in the first fucking place.

And my girl was fucking naked.

I jumped up rapidly enough to startle her. I apologized in a rush. "Bella, get dressed, as quickly as possible."

The thought of anyone seeing her in such a vulnerable state was enough to send me into a tailspin of pure fucking jealous rage.

I buttoned up my jeans and threw my shirt back on before helping Bella with her clasps. And not a moment too fucking soon.

"Edward, what's going on?" she looked up at me with wide eyes, and the fear in her voice broke my dead heart.

I pulled her against me and kissed her forehead. "We have a visitor. It's nothing to worry about…just one of your wolf boys."

Hmm…what are you kids doing out here, bird watching?"

I jerked my head in the direction of a deep, booming voice and sighed in relief at the sight of Jacob Black.

Bella smiled softly up at me and kissed my lips chastely before turning to our visitor. "Oh, hey Jake. What's up with your denim hotpants…are you coming out of the gay werewolf closet?"

I couldn't help but grin at her jest as Jacob rolled his eyes and gave her the middle finger. "I can prove to you just how fucking straight I am, baby, so don't talk shit." He turned and made eye contact with me warily. "You better get home, Dracula. The crew is headed your way."

I growled in aggravation. "I'm really not in the mood for a fight today, Jacob. Why are they coming to my home?"

Jacob shook his head and kicked the dirt. "It's not you, man." He stalled for a moment and pulled at the jet black tendrils of his hair. When he spoke again, his words were nothing more than a whisper.

"We killed a vamp last night."

**-x-x-x-x-x-**

**Dun Dun Duuuun….**

**So how'd you like that there ah, lemon? **

**Any musings on who the dead vamp is?**

**And whatcha think about B and E's stories?**

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**I appreciate it!**

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**See you next week! Love!**


	10. The Hunger

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Hello ladies! We'll talk more down below…let's get to the good stuff, hmm? We'll see what happens when the wolves inform the Cullens about the vamp they killed…**

***BPOV***

I felt torn right down the fucking middle…standing united with my new family in front of their home while my best friends stared back at me with pain and anger in their eyes; I had caused every bit of it. They had been my only friends, and now we were…

Separated.

Detached.

Unfamiliar.

I felt a twinge of unease in the pit of my stomach, but the cold fingers tangled with mine made me quickly realize that life was full of choices…and if the Quileutes were going to force me to make one…I would. There was never any question. I would sacrifice everyone and everything for the cold, pale boy standing next to me.

I'd fucking do anything for him…do anything to _be_ with him.

Four of the boys standing in front of me were my friends…my partners in crime. Jake looked exhausted, constantly fighting to keep the peace. Sam looked moody and bitter, which was about right. Quil's posture was laid back and relaxed, just as always. One of the others I recognized as Paul, but I only knew him from around the rez. But then my eyes fell upon a boy who looked no more than fourteen, and my heart lurched. How the fuck could they expect a child to defend and protect an entire tribe?

I finally turned to look at Embry, his tongue ring sliding rapidly across his bottom lip as he glared at me and Edward. A sharp growl sounded deep in Edward's chest and I looked up to see him baring his teeth at Embry…I could only imagine what he was thinking to make Edward look so lethal.

"Jacob," Edward murmured viciously, his fingers shaking in fury around mine. "Tell your friend to control his _fucking_ thoughts."

Jake rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "What am I, a fucking babysitter for the wolves and the bloodsuckers? Em, pull yourself together, for fuck's sake. And Dracula, get the hell out of his head…he can't help that shit."

I looked up at Edward and his eyes immediately softened as they met mine. My eyebrows rose in question and he just shook his head, brushing his cool lips softly against my forehead. "Beautiful girl," he whispered so gently it was nearly inaudible. His demeanor had changed so suddenly, but the reason was unbeknownst to me.

I leaned into him further, feeling more attached to him than ever before…the time we spent together today had been surprising, and absolutely perfect.

My eyes melted into his once more...honey with speckles of crimson so beautiful…so significant to me and what we had become together. _My vamp boy_. I smiled at him shyly, his lip twitching upward in return as he ran his fingertips along the curve of my neck.

So much had changed between us, so very quickly.

It wasn't just the way we opened up to each other in his bedroom and then the meadow…but how my body responded once his teeth were inside of me. He always made me cum like a fucking wild woman, but this time…it was more. We were _connected_..I saw his teeth sink in, I saw the blood leave my body, I saw the carnal reverence in his gaze and it was all so fucking overwhelming…and then I felt it. This new lingering burn, a shooting pain running down my legs and up my spine, like lightning had struck where he had bitten me and the electricity was engulfing my entire body. It hurt, enough for me to wince but the pleasure overshadowed it all.

The lightning spread through every vein, it felt like my blood was boiling and I was shaking from harboring such a power inside my body. It was scary in an exhilarating sort of way. Because while logically I felt like the sensation was wrong—as if such pain and pleasure shouldn't exist together--it didn't change the fact that it was something Edward was giving me. And I fucking wanted everything from him. So while I recognized the liquid fire as a new and dangerous sensation, I welcomed it, I _craved_ it, just like I craved everything about Edward.

As much as I would miss the powerful bond created between us when my blood entered his body, there was no doubt I'd be ready to become like him tomorrow….fuck, I'd be ready right now if he asked me to.

But to what means? I still didn't want anyone else biting me other than him. My eyes closed as I focused on the dull ache of pleasure from my thigh…where he had tasted me only moments before we were abruptly interrupted by Jacob in the forest.

I could still taste the faint iron from my blood that covered Edward's tongue, and it still terrified me how much I liked the flavor. Maybe it was because I knew how much satisfaction it gave him, or maybe a vampire is what I was destined to be. Either way, I was nearly ready to beg him to sink his teeth into my body again, and I knew I wasn't physically ready for it so soon.

It didn't make me want it any less.

I fought with myself to break away from Edward's intense gaze, knowing that our body language was extremely intimate. I wasn't trying to throw it in my boys' faces but _Christ_…I just couldn't stop touching him…

Would I ever be able to stop?

"Edward."

Carlisle's soft but authoritative voice rang out into the heavy silence between us, and Edward turned to look at his father. "Why don't you begin this discussion?"

Edward looked at him in confusion. "Are you certain that's a wise choice?"

Carlisle's expression was full of pride. "Absolutely, son."

A silent but significant exchange passed between Edward and Carlisle before my vamp boy kissed my temple and let go of my hand. I felt the distance growing between us, each step he took causing a deep ache in my chest.

_Everything was so much more now._

I felt the anxiety rising up from the tips of my toes and slithering all throughout my body. I knew Jake said this wouldn't be a fight…but nothing could ever happen to Edward. The thought had my stomach turning in vicious circles. I saw Jacob staring intently at me in my peripheral vision, and turned to meet dark brown eyes that were penetrating mine curiously. "Bella," he said earnestly. "Calm down, nothing's going to happen to him."

Was I that fucking obvious?

Or was Jake more empathetic than I gave him credit for?

I looked at Edward, his eyes filled with deep emotion that he still didn't know how to express and I suddenly wondered if maybe I could…

Maybe I could define it.

His lips were pursed, the worry written all over his face as he gazed back at me. "Bella," he whispered.

My hands trembled at the reverence in his voice. Sometimes he would simply say my name in such a tone that told me everything words never could. I lived for the moments he spoke my name in such a way.

His lip curved upward and he held out his hand, reaching for me. He wanted me beside him.

_He wanted me._

I walked slowly towards him, his eyes holding me and guiding me until I was next to him. His fingers laced through mine and the smile on his face was breathtaking as he leaned down and pressed his lips to my ear. "You belong next to me, Bella…always by my side." His knuckles grazed the curve of my hip and I could feel my eyes shining up at him.

I nodded once and turned to Sam…couldn't he see how fucking beautiful Edward and I were together? I smiled widely, not able to hold back emotion after emotion that was threatening to pour out of me without any warning. "Sammie," I whispered breathlessly. "He makes me so happy, don't you see? Don't you see how safe I am with him?"

I took one look in his dark eyes, and I saw it. A flicker of recognition…it passed just as quickly. "I'm not here to talk about your safety, Bella. You've obviously made your choice." His voice was low and gravelly as he spoke.

"Why does there have to be a choice?" I pleaded, desperate to just be done with the drama already. Everything about this day had been so heavy and I wanted it to be over with. While parts of it were downright earth shattering, others held more angst than I was prepared for. I'd never desired to be a normal teenage girl…but was it too much to ask for a little peace and quiet with my mythical significant other?

Sam's voice was all business as he addressed Edward and completely ignored my question. "Three vampires wandered onto our land late last night. Two of them escaped us, but we manage to snatch up the last one. French accent, dreads, bright red fucking eyes…you know him?"

Edward turned to Carlisle before shaking his head. "No, we aren't familiar with anyone by that description. What about the others?"

Sam shrugged offhandedly. "They ran off before we could get a proper look at them."

"The one you killed…did he threaten you?"

Sam's posture became impossibly stiffer as he answered Edward's question. "No he didn't, but he was on my people's land and his eyes were red…do you really think I'd just let him go about his fucking night when the murder was obvious in his eyes?"

Edward held his hand up. "Sam, I don't fault you for reacting the way you did…it was merely a question. There's no need for enmity."

My eyes widened. Edward's demeanor towards Sam was a far cry from the hostility he harbored for him in my front yard only days ago. I knew by the tremble of his hand and the underlying fire in his eyes that it was still there, suppressed for my sake.

Sam rolled his eyes. "Whatever. We came here to inform you of the attack we made in case the other two come back with a vengeance. We can obviously handle them ourselves, but with bloodsuckers in the area, we need to make sure Bella is going to be safe. Since she's apparently done with the likes of us, she's in your hands."

My jaw practically unhinged. "Done with you? When the fuck did I ever say I was done with you?"

Sam ignored me once again and nodded his head at Edward. "The fucking second you harm a hair on that girl's head, you're mine…do you understand me, leech?"

They stared each other down intensely for several moments. Edward's fingers tightened around mine and I could feel the tension rolling off of him in waves. Finally, he broke the silence. "The moment I harm a hair on her head, Sam Ulley, I will break down your door and beg you to tear me limb from limb…and that, I can assure you, is a promise." His voice was thick with solemnity and I knew even Sam couldn't doubt Edward's words.

It made my stomach lurch violently. "Edward," I whispered, letting the tears build up in my eyes. "Please don't say that."

He looked at me for several seconds before kissing my temple and backing away slowly. "Say goodbye to your friends, beloved."

I watched him walk away from me until he was beside Carlisle. Edward smiled at me reassuringly and I took a deep breath, turning to face my boys and trying like hell to figure out a way to salvage our friendships.

I walked up to the group of boys who used to own my weekends…the only people who knew the real me—or what I thought was the real me. Just because I was unequivocally involved with their immortal enemy didn't mean we had to sever our ties, did it? I walked up to Jake and ruffled his crazy black hair, his presence already making me feel so much lighter. "Who knew you would turn out to be so fucking cool, J? I just thought you were a little shit who always tries to grab my boob."

He chuckled and pretended to make a pass for my left tit. I slapped his hand away and he wrapped me in a hug, whispering, "Sam will come around, B. He's just convinced that a bloodsucker is a bloodsucker…that they aren't capable of anything besides murder and bloodlust."

"That's bullshit," I whispered, shaking my head before turning to meet Sam's cold gaze.

"I know it is, Bella. Just give him some time, he'll come around…right bro?" Jake smiled goofily at Sam but he didn't return his jest.

I walked over to Sam, his eyes angry but flickering with a deep emotion he was obviously trying to suppress. I didn't touch him, just stood right in front of him and crossed my arms. "Trusting the Cullens won't make you less of a big, tough wolf-man, you know," I mumbled to the ground.

"That has nothing to do with it," he said flatly. "I don't care how good he makes you feel, Bella. In the end, it's only about one thing for those fucking bloodsuckers, and that's the liquid running through your veins."

"Sammie," I whispered forcefully. "Hating someone for what they are and stereotyping them so ignorantly is no better than a fucking racist. Just listen to yourself. Bloodsucker? Leech? Are those not derogatory terms?"

Sam said nothing, just stared icily over my head. "Can you just think about what I've said?" I pleaded.

He nodded once, and I hoped he fucking meant it.

"And furthermore, don't you know how to return phone calls?" I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Not when you leave bitchy messages." He smirked at me and my heart jumped…that small gesture almost seemed like progress.

"Sammie, I'm with him now…nothing's going to change that so you're going to have to get over this shit. I never planned on ditching you…you're my boy," I frowned.

"I don't know, Bella," he murmured, shaking his head. "I don't think I can condone something as fucked up as this."

I shrugged my shoulders and looked straight into his big brown eyes. "I hope you figure out a way," I whispered.

With one final glance at Sam, I walked over to Quil, a lazy smile plastered across his face. "Leave it to you to fuck a vampire," he teased.

I slapped him upside the head before wrapping my arms around him. "You mean you're not going to disown me just because my boyfriend is your enemy?"

Quil scoffed. "He's not_ my_ fucking enemy. What the hell has he ever done to me?" He kissed my temple and slid something into my front pocket. "I told you I'd bring you my secret stash, B. Better late than never."

I winked at him and moved on down the line. I knew Paul only a little. He hung with the boys occasionally, only he wasn't into the hard shit like they were. We were acquaintances though so I bumped his fist and told him I was sure he had a lovely shade of wolf fur, causing him to chuckle.

I walked past the new kid and observed him thoughtfully. "_Christ,_ Jake, are you breeding your wolf empire from the fucking cradle or what?"

He shrugged. "It is what it is, B. We can't control it…and neither can young Collin over there. Don't sweat it though, he's a tough little shit, right C-Dawg?"

Collin smiled and stuck out his chin. "There's more man to me than what meets the eye, baby," he smirked, running his eyes up and down my body.

I rolled my eyes at Jake. "You are corrupting this child, asshole." I turned back to Collin and pointed a finger at him. "Watch your mouth, pup. I don't care how big of a wolf you turn into, I can still beat your punk ass, and don't forget it."

I smiled at him and he winked back before I walked up to Embry….I was dreading this one the most. I stared at the ground for a long time before looking up at him. "Can I hug you?"

"I wouldn't," he said in a clipped tone.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair before reaching out and tentatively touching his arm. "Don't hurt me, Em," I whispered.

He scoffed. "Wouldn't dream of it, Bella. You're the one doing all the fucking _hurting_."

My stomach dropped at the ache in his tone and I suddenly realized maybe what we had was more than just fucking to him. I wrapped my arms around him and whispered in his ear, "You'll always be my boy, Em, but we just weren't right together. He…Edward…he's all I've ever wanted and I got so fucking wrapped up in him that everything else faded away. It was a horribly shitty thing to do, not even telling you it was over between us. I don't blame you for hating me but just know that I never meant for things to go down like this, and hurting you will always be one of my biggest regrets. I'm so fucking sorry, Embry."

I pulled away and he was staring straight ahead, his jaw clenched tightly. I watched him for a moment and knew he wouldn't respond, so I gave the boys a half hearted wave as they retreated towards the trees.

I walked back to Edward, who looked more relieved with each step I took. I was feeling completely perplexed about the interaction with my boys. Part of me was optimistic…I practically envisioned us hanging out, maybe not like we used to but our friendships didn't have to be void just because of recent events.

But with Embry's bitterness and Sam's stubborn ass ways, I knew it was a real possibility that what I once had with my Quileute boys would forever be in the past.

*

***EPOV***

watched intently as my human girl walked back to me after bidding "her boys" farewell. The jealousy bubbled inside of me. I wanted no one to belong to her but me. I constantly struggled with my overwhelming sense of jealousy anytime the Quileutes entered our world…probably more than Bella even realized.

There were so many battles that I was fighting inside myself, and it was all for her. I desperately wanted to be as good as she believed me to be. I would continue to suppress my urge to hate the Quileute boys for her sake and the sake of our connection. Because the fact was, the wolves were right…being a savage was part of my nature. It felt abnormal for me to discuss things in a docile manner with such a vile excuse for a man, Sam Ulley. And yet, I felt related to his principles, despite my strong dislike of him. I couldn't fault him for being weary of us, especially when he believed Bella was at risk.

It had all been so…complicated.

Now that I knew Bella desired to become like me, I yearned for the day when I could take her from this town and we could disappear together…with no temperamental wolf-children constantly standing in our way.

It infuriated me to hear the vile thoughts Embry was thinking about my human girl the moment we came to stand before him. I could hear how hurt he was and knew he was merely scorned, tarnishing her name in order to placate his own emotions. I was doing a fairly decent job of ignoring him, losing myself in Bella and wishing I could take purchase under her enchantment for the rest of my days…I truthfully had no interest in the outside world anyway. But then one thought, one simple phrase snapped me back to reality.

_She's just a whore…just another comtmon fuck. She isn't even worth one more fucking thought._

Could someone honestly take one look at that glorious fucking girl and think such disgusting things about her? She was akin to an angel on earth…an angel who found herself entangled with the demon inside of me, but the fact remained--behind her smart mouth and vibrant personality…she was pure, breathtaking, and _mine_.

I snapped, and with my last ounce of reserve demanded that Jacob get a handle on his friend before I tore him the fuck apart.

I very nearly did just that.

The logical side of me knew he was simply bitter, but logic was never something I adhered to when I became filled with such anger. Bella looked up at me, silently asking what Embry had done to upset me so. I felt my frozen heart thawing with every glance of those warm brown eyes. _A common fuck?_ That was blasphemy in its truest form. "Beautiful girl," I murmured against her hair, because that's what she truly was…no matter the vile names the child in front of us referred to her as.

He knew nothing…_nothing_ about the girl who brought me light…the girl who belonged to me.

I wasn't entirely concerned with the situation the Quileutes found themselves in the previous evening. Nomadic vampires were plentiful, most of them taking human life as they pleased while they traveled around the globe. While life lost is an unfortunate turn of events, the fact remained that they….that _we_…are their natural enemies, and the wolves had every reason to destroy one of our kind last night.

As for the possibility of the other two returning to seek revenge, the odds were fairly slim. Even the most idiotic vampire would take a look at six giant wolves and recognize that they were no match for them. Considering how quick they were to abandon their companion in front of the beasts, I expected no complications to arise with the remaining two nomads.

And even if they did return, my Bella was in no harm. Nothing would ever happen to her while she was with me.

And she would _forever_ be with me.

It had been difficult for me to see Bella's arms wrapped around Embry…it burned fire into a place very deep inside of me. The knife twisted as his thoughts assaulted me…memories of her beneath him, on top of him…

As much as I didn't want to look too far into his past recollections of Bella, there was one refreshing truth I couldn't ignore while I watched Embry's memories unfold in his mind—she was lifeless with him. She didn't pull him closer or look into his eyes. She barely made a sound and looked downright bored with him. She was despondent and just…void from the moment.

It was so obvious to me that what we had was beyond anything she ever shared with the Quileute boy. He never got the fire and the passion that smoldered out of every inch of her body…he didn't see the reverence in her eyes as she pulled me closely, fighting to close the distance between us. I knew it was only mine to have and that's the way it was meant to be.

But still, the sight of them together was more than I could take. I let out a silent, strangled groan and Alice was immediately at my side. _Don't torture yourself, Edward. You occupy her entire world. The way she feels about you…I never thought I'd see a human capable of such passion._

I stared at my sister in shock and her lips twisted into a sly grin. _Don't doubt the psychic. Just have a little faith._

Have a little _faith._

My girl finally reached me once the wolves had retreated, her arms wrapping around my waist and reviving me from my constant thoughts. I buried my nose in her hair, sighing in relief at her warm, soft body pressed against me.

The only thing I would ever have faith in was her.

"Are you alright?" I murmured, kissing her forehead and pulling her tighter against me.

She looked up and nodded, her eyes swirling with so many different emotions. I just wanted to ease her troubled mind.

_Edward, why don't you stay with Bella for awhile? Before you bring her home, we can discuss the events of last night and what they mean for us_.

I nodded at Carlisle in response to his thoughts as my family disappeared from the front yard in their separate directions. It was clear to me that they recognized that Bella and I needed to be alone after such an intense moment. "What can I do, Bella? You're so tense."

I massaged the muscles in her arms gently before rubbing soothing circles along her back as she spoke. "I want to be in your bed…with you."

I was in such a hurry to give her what she needed that I scooped her up in my arms and ran straight to my room. Barely five seconds had passed before we were engulfed in midnight sheets, our limbs tangled and our bodies wrapped around each other.

"Is this better?" I whispered, my fingers tracing lazily along her spine beneath her shirt.

She smiled, pulling herself tighter against me. "Much better," she sighed.

"Are you sure that you're alright?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. I just wasn't ready for us to be interrupted earlier…and I'm sick of the drama. Maybe we should just run away together…" The aggravation was thick in her voice and I couldn't help but smile at her petulance.

"Perhaps one day we will," I whispered thoughtfully, pressing my lips gently against her hair.

"Edward," she murmured into the crook of my neck. "I feel like I'm going to crawl out of my skin."

My fingers slid between the silken strands of her hair. "Because of the wolves?"

She shook her head and lifted it until our eyes met. "No, we don't even need to talk about them…as long as you tell me these vamps won't pose a threat to us."

I shook my head vehemently. "They won't return. And nothing would ever touch you even if they did, Bella. I'll never let anything happen to you."

She smiled and slid her thumb along my bottom lip. "Honestly…I just can't stop thinking about how your teeth feel in my skin."

I inhaled sharply before sucking the venom off of my teeth. She sat up and positioned herself over my waist as her legs rested on either side of me, causing the air to rush out of my fossilized lungs. "Tell me," I groaned softly, my hands trembling in their hold on her hips. It nearly drove me rampant, listening to how much pleasure she took from the being I truly was.

"It's different now…watching your face, seeing the blood leave my body and go into yours…it's all I can think about. I want you to take more, Edward. You don't know how badly I want it," she whispered intensely as she pushed her hips further against mine. Her tongue slid along my bottom lip and she shivered, her eyes smoldering with excitement.

I was losing myself in her need…and I wanted her. Fuck, already I needed to be inside of her. "How bad do you want it?" I growled, gripping her ass and sliding her over my straining cock.

"Bad," she whimpered, her fingernails fighting to dig their way into my shoulders.

I dove my tongue into her mouth, the warmth of her pussy burning into my denim covered cock as we writhed against one another. I needed to be realistic…I couldn't give her what she desired. As much as I always wanted her blood on my tongue, it was far too dangerous to take it from her when I had it only hours ago. I kissed her fiercely before pressing my forehead against hers, struggling to catch my unneeded breath. "It's too soon, Bella. You know I'll take too much."

"I don't care," she whispered frantically, gripping the collar of my shirt and pulling until our chests were pressed tightly together. "Just for a minute…we'll go to my house and you can just taste me for a minute. Just one minute…" Her lips found mine once more, the scent of her arousal filling the air between us and intoxicating me until I could practically feel my self-restraint dissipating right in front of us. I groaned gutturally as she held my bottom lip between her teeth, the action making me throb as I pressed myself between her legs.

Everything about her was so incredibly erotic…I wanted to fuck her all day long…every fucking minute of the day--and I would…when she was infallible like me. At this juncture I could care less about how it came to pass as long as I could keep her forever…it hardly mattered when the ending result would be eternal bliss.

"Bella," I panted, dragging my fingertips down her back and grabbing her ass forcefully as we grinded against one another. I placed my forehead against hers and fought to hold onto my last piece of self-control. "Don't ask me," I pleaded almost in a whimper. "Please don't tempt me like this when I fight all fucking day long not to do exactly what you're requesting. Please…don't ask me."

I could hear my own agony thick in my voice…I constantly struggled to keep her safe and ignore my need for her blood. The realization and guilt washed over her features, and I knew she'd chastise herself over expressing her need for my teeth in her. It was preposterous to feel remorse for something so prominent inside of us.

"I'm sorry Edward," she whispered sadly, pressing her face into my chest as she tried to steady her breathing.

I ran my hands up and down her arms, kissing her hair gently. "We'll figure it out Bella. And don't ever apologize for needing something from me. I know all too well what it feels like to crave, to burn for something that could destroy the one thing that matters most. This is new for both of us, beloved."

She nodded her head and looked into my eyes, tracing my cheekbones softly. "Your eyes have more red in them than last time," she whispered, leaning up to kiss my lips. "I like seeing me inside of you."

I smiled and took her mouth once more, my desire still bubbling deep in the pit of my stomach. "I can almost feel my heart beat when you say such things to me, Bella."

The room was filled with nothing but our pants and groans as we scrambled against one another, trying to get closer, to pull ourselves right inside each other. "Tell me why you need it so much. Why do you like it when I drink from you?" I murmured, sliding my hand in the front of her pants and moaning when I was met with her hot wetness.

She whimpered at my choice of words, thrusting against my fingers as they fucked her. "What you are," she gasped and took my face in her hands, burning her eyes into mine. "The fact that you're a vampire drives me crazy, Edward. I want you primal…I want the animal inside of you. I want to be yours in every way….physically, mentally, but I want you to be my predator too."

I growled loudly at her words, and I could almost feel my eyes turning black as she palmed my dick through my jeans. Her voice was liquid sex as she spoke. "Everything about you is so exhilarating, baby. I love seeing your eyes dark and uninhibited…I want you to crouch, growl, _attack_…I want to fucking watch you surrender everything to your basic instincts."

I roared and lifted us from the bed, slamming her against the wall next to my window and panting viciously. Her eyes were wide with fear and arousal as I felt myself giving in to the beast inside of me. "You want your vampire, beloved?"

She whimpered and nodded as I pinned her against the wall, my tongue gliding up and down the column of her throat.

I chuckled darkly and nipped at her bottom lip, a small drop of blood releasing where I made contact. I pressed my tongue flat against it, groaning deeply as I tasted my human girl. I pulled away from her and ghosted my lips against hers as I spoke. "If you want me primal, Bella, then that's exactly what you're going to fucking get."

My lips dragged along mouth, her chin, her jaw until they rested on her ear. I whispered heavily, my breath entering her ear and shivering down her entire body as she trembled against me. "I'm taking you to the woods, beloved. If it's the beast you desire, then you're going to fucking watch me take life. Is that what you want?"

I was practically daring her to tell me no.

She moaned loudly as I slammed her hands above her head against the wall, clamping my lips tightly around her nipple through the fabric of her shirt. "I'll take that as a yes," I whispered against her throat as she writhed against me. "You're going to watch my black eyes while I drain my victim…watch me every fucking second while I _kill_, Bella, and when I'm through I'm going to fuck you like the predator you crave so desperately. You're going to scream while your vampire fucks you, do you understand me?"

My fingers slid between hers as I held them against the drywall, our bodies frozen as our eyes connected meaningfully. "I want it," she whispered, a drop of blood seeping out of her miniscule wound. She crashed her mouth to mine, running her bottom lip back and forth against me, smearing the liquid that aroused and invigorated both of us. We kissed each other in wet sloppy strokes, spreading the taste of her blood and sharing it as our own. She broke away from me and I gasped—her eyes seemed darker in color as well. "I want my vampire to fuck me," she whispered in a devious tone, staring up at me from beneath her lashes with pure lust in her eyes.

And as I jumped out of my window with my human girl on my back, I knew right then and there that we were playing with a very dangerous and smoldering fire. She constantly pushed me to be who I truly was…and one day we would both get burned because of it.

_But I so desperately craved that flame._

_*_

***BPOV***

It was almost pitch black outside when he stopped running, the moonlight was the only illumination I had to watch what was about to take place.

I was fucking alive inside…more alive than I had ever been before. I felt every inch of my skin prickle in excitement, every throb between my legs shoot to each sensitive nerve ending in my body. Fuck, I wanted this, I wanted him…I needed to see my dirty vamp boy in action.

How had this never occurred to me before? If he couldn't take my blood as often as I would like, I could still watch him indulge on the liquid that sustained him. I was so fucking aroused by it, my pussy was nearly aching in pain.

He set me on a boulder, leaning his hands on either side of me as he looked into my eyes. His mouth drifted against mine but our gaze never faltered. "Do you want really want this?" he whispered quietly.

I whimpered in response, the sheer anticipation nearly rendering me unconscious. His tongue darted out to sweep across my lip and he swallowed thickly. "Touch me," he murmured.

My fingers contracted around the bulge in his pants and squeezed with as much strength as I had inside of me. I grunted and pulled him towards me by the grip on his cock, slamming his body against me as we attacked each other with our mouths. We kissed frenziedly as I twisted his cock in my grip, doing things to him that would do permanent damage to a mere human. His lips slid over to my cheek and against my ear. "I want to fuck your mouth, Bella…tell me I can have it," he whispered forcefully as his hands slid under my shirt and palmed my breasts.

I fucking wanted him to do it too, but I wasn't an idiot. I was pushing him too far the way it was. "No," I said firmly. "We're too far gone."

His lips turned into a devilish grin as he ran one finger along my jaw and down my neck. "Mmm…that's my girl," he murmured, pressing his lips to mine. "You passed your test, beloved. If you would have failed, you wouldn't have gotten your show…or my cock," he groaned as I removed my hand from his crotch and pressed myself up against him.

I smiled smugly at him…I _told_ him I was in control of this shit.

I shuddered as his cold fingertips dragged along my sides before lifting my shirt over my head. "I'll never hurt you baby," he whispered tenderly against my nearly healed bite mark, kissing it gently. "You're mine."

He laid my shirt across the boulder and looked up at me innocently. "Can I have you naked while you watch?" he breathed.

I nodded lazily. "You can have anything."

He released a soft moan from the back of his throat as he popped the button of my jeans and slid them off of me slowly. I was left in only my bra and underwear as his teeth grazed the shell of my ear. "Will you play with your pussy for me while you watch your predator?"

I whimpered agonizingly…I couldn't take it another fucking moment and I just knew he was going to make me for me to beg for it. "Please," I groaned, unfastening his jeans and sliding my hand inside. "Tell me what you want me to do and I'll do it, Edward. Please…"

He chuckled darkly and kissed my lips before walking slowly backwards. I moaned as he palmed his cock through his pants with a downright sinful gleam in his eye. "Lose the clothing, Bella. Right fucking now."

I clamored out of my bra and panties, eager to bare myself before him. Once I was completely naked, I crossed my legs in front of me and let them dangle off the edge of the boulder. I leaned forward anxiously, desperate for what was about to take place. "Are you sure?" he questioned solemnly. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

I nodded, biting my lip in anticipation as he slowly walked away from me.

"Will you want me, Bella, once you see what I'm capable of?" I heard the hesitation in his voice. I could just imagine how bitches like Jessica or Lauren would react to something like this…and maybe I was a little fucked up for being so excited by what was to come…or maybe I was meant to be with this beautiful fucking creature in front of me. Because he was beautiful to me. The color in his eyes, his white teeth sinking into flesh, the stained red on his lips as he indulged greedily…everything about him was beautiful, including the monster inside of him.

"I'll want you even more, Edward. Please fucking show me…I need it."

His lip curled into a smile and he shook his head slightly in wonder. "Stay right there, and don't move unless I tell you otherwise."

He disappeared then and it was eerily silent as I was left alone in the dark woods. The August air was warm and moist, a thin sheen of sweat settling over my flesh as I waited for Edward to come back and fulfill something we both desperately needed.

I jumped as he suddenly appeared in front of me….with his hand gripped around the throat of a mountain lion.

He looked at me cautiously, taking in my reaction to the first real act of vampirism I'd seen from him. Sure, he had moved fast around me—and _inside_ of me—but I hadn't seen anything truly frightening about his basic instinct until now.

Only I wasn't afraid…I was eager for what would happen next.

"Bella," he murmured from some twenty feet away, reaching behind him and pulling his shirt off over his head. I was stunned as I observed him, hair wild and eyes dark as he stared back at me.

"Show me," I whispered, my hand reaching up to pinch my nipple before I even realized it.

"Fuck," he groaned, slamming the large cat against the ground and immobilizing it by his grip on its throat. Edward dropped to his knees in front of his kill, his eyes never breaking from me. "You want a vampire?" he questioned darkly.

"Yes."

"Do you want to _be_ a vampire, Bella?"

"Yes," I groaned.

"Do you want to hunt alongside me, beloved? Do you want to feel the hunger I have inside of me right now?"

"Yes," I groaned and nodded, swallowing heavily as he lowered his mouth to the lion's throat. The animal thrashed against him and Edward's nostrils flared as he snapped its neck, not even flinching as he held my gaze.

"Keep talking Bella…I need you to keep talking." His eyes were wild and his hands were trembling as I watched the life slowly fade from his victim.

I scrambled to think of something to say, but ultimately I just let the truth pour out of my mouth without a second thought. "This life was meant for me, Edward. I'm not scared to see it, and I'm not afraid to taste it on your tongue. I do want to be like you, I want to do this with you because I already feel like we're the same. I can't physically do what you're doing yet, but I feel like I could…like I'm supposed to."

He groaned and bared his teeth, looking up at me from beneath his lashes as he hovered just inches over the mountain lion. "Tell me how you feel…and let me see you…I need to see you, Bella." His voice was ragged and pleading, his appearance downright primitive as he prepared to feed.

I nearly came from just looking at him. Biting my lip, I uncrossed my legs and propped one foot up on the boulder, leaning back and running my hand along my stomach and between my legs. I groaned at the instant relief I felt from the pressure I inflicted against my clit. "Come on, baby. Don't make me wait," I grinned wickedly.

With a feral growl, his teeth sunk effortlessly into the neck of the mountain lion and I moaned loudly as his pitch black eyes held mine. Fuck, I could almost feel what he was feeling--the hot, thick liquid sliding down his throat and warming him from the inside out. I imagined how it eased the burn, how even though it satiated his overall need, it was never enough. It never would be.

I circled my clit in heavy circles, already shuddering from my impending orgasm. It wouldn't take long…not while my vamp boy was wild and hungry in front of me. I suddenly remembered he wanted me to talk while he drained his kill. "Edward…" I trailed off, my voice desperate as I observed him intently. "You look so fucking perfect. Watching your eyes dark and alive with the need you're fulfilling. And I see you, the _real_ you…you're a vampire and you kill, but your fucking _mine _and your need for me, your feelings for me don't overshadow your nature Edward…they fucking define it."

He groaned ferociously, his fists curling into the fur of the mountain lion as he sucked the blood from its veins, his eyes on fire as I writhed against the fingers that were buried inside of me. His whole body was moving in time with my ministrations, and it never ceased to fucking amaze me how in sync we were. I cried out as I felt myself getting wetter, his steady growl sounding out loudly in the air between us.

"You don't have to hide from me, baby. I know who you are…I know what you are and I want all of you. I want every dark need inside of you as well as the good. I want everything, fucking _everything_," I cried out as he slammed his hand against the dirt, the ground vibrating from the force he inflicted.

He raised his mouth from his meal and I groaned loudly at the red staining his lips. "You're mine, Bella. Cum for me…I need to see you cum."

I shook my head back and forth as my eyes clenched shut, the pleasure starting to overwhelm me to the point of no control. "Look at me," he demanded in a sharp growl. My eyes flew open to meet his feral stare…but I saw my vamp boy there as well. "Don't hide from me, Bella, and I won't hide from you."

His teeth sunk back into the skin of the lion and I watched his eyes slide down my body and between my legs before looking back up into mine. It was enough to send me right over the fucking edge. "I'm going to cum…fuck…Edward!" I grounded my teeth together, my hips jerking forward in an uneven pattern as my fingers pumped inside of me rampantly. "I need you here," I begged in a whimper, seconds away from letting the raging inferno explode inside of me.

A second later he was on top of me as I rode out my intense orgasm, screaming and thrashing against him as his cold fingers replaced mine eagerly. I trembled violently as he moved inside of me, a second climax jolting through me and sending me flying into his arms. Before I could fully come back down, he lifted me, my weakened legs wrapping around his waist and my arms clamping around his neck as he leaned back against the boulder. I pressed my forehead against his and gazed down at him, my hair falling and enclosing us beneath the dark sheet.

His cold breath fanned across my skin, my fingers digging into his hair as we held onto each other for dear life. "You make me so fucking hard, Bella..."

I gyrated my hips against him, groaning at the rough texture of his denim and the solid cock beneath it.

"Do you know how much you mean to me?" his voice was wavering as he slid his palm up my spine and around the curve of my shoulder.

"I know," I whispered, smiling down at him. "We're okay, Edward. This is what I wanted…and I still want it. Please, I need you inside of me." We were trembling together from the intensity of this moment, and I knew that neither one of us could wait another second to be connected once more.

He moaned deeply as one arm released me and he shoved his jeans down. I gasped as the material of his jeans was replaced with cold hard flesh, causing a shudder to shoot up my spine. He reached behind us and I lifted my ass up as he positioned himself at my entrance. He filled me slowly, every sensation of skin against skin sending me into sensory overload. I was shaking around him, practically crying as I called his name.

He pulled me tighter against him, both of us sighing heavily the moment he was fully sheathed inside of me. We held each other just like that, breathing raggedly and losing ourselves in the way our bodies were connected. "I want to give you so many things, Bella," he whispered against my throat, his tongue dragging along my skin and collecting the sweat that had formed from my earlier effort.

I circled my hips against him, moaning as we started to move together leisurely. "You give me everything," I promised.

He held me in the middle of the woods as we surrendered ourselves to each other, this new position bringing him so much deeper inside of me. We said nothing, just buried our faces and engulfed ourselves in the constant satisfaction we felt when we were together like this.

"I thought this was going to be hard and fast," I chuckled breathlessly, pulling on his hair for emphasis.

He smiled against my lips. "The night is young, Bella."

Our laughter was quickly cut off as he pulled me down hard on his cock, both of us gasping as he picked up his pace.

"Thank you for letting me watch you, Edward," I murmured into his hair as I rode him. "You don't know how much it meant…to have you show yourself like that to me."

He groaned, kissing me passionately as everything started to get heated and blurry. He slid his hand beneath my hair and held my neck tightly as our tongues twisted together, the need between us becoming overwhelming as we slammed our hips together. "I'm not your predator, Bella. We are the _same_…tell me I can keep you forever…I need to know that you really want this, because we'll make you indestructible one way or another, beloved. Just say the word and we'll have this for the rest of eternity."

I moaned loudly at the thought. There was never any doubt that I wanted to become a vampire. Every day I learned more about it, and every day it appealed to me more. I tightened my legs around his waist and brushed my nose against his, our eyes meeting in the dim light of the moon. "I've never felt like I belonged anywhere until the moment you came into my life, Edward. The more I'm around you and your family, the more I know what I want to be. I want to be yours forever…and I sure as hell want to become a vampire. _Your vampire_."

He smiled widely as his heavy breathing entered my open mouth. "That's all I need to know, Bella."

He slowly walked me backwards until I was resting atop the boulder, my shirt cushioning me from the jagged rock. Edward never left my body as he hovered above me, intertwining our fingers and resting them above my head as he moved inside of me. He hummed into my ear, his thrusts becoming rapid as I lifted up to meet his hips. Our skin slapped together loudly in the quiet forest, nothing but our cries of pleasure accompanying the sound.

"How are you feeling, beautiful girl?" he murmured breathlessly, sliding his hand between our bodies and stroking my wet skin. "I just…I need to be with you tonight, I need more, Bella, but not if it's going to hurt you." His eyes met mine and his face was twisted in torment at the idea of causing me pain.

I didn't hurt…I felt alive. And there was nothing more I wanted than my vamp boy inside of me all night. I smiled and kissed him chastely. "I'll stay up with you until the sun comes up…and I'll sleep all day tomorrow. Just don't stop, baby…give me more."

He shuddered above me as his fingers slid along my hot skin, pumping his cock inside of me at a speed that only he could reach. We came together fervently, our open mouths pressed together as our cries of passion poured into one another. I was reduced to nothing but a quivering mess around him, my limbs weak and shaking as he stroked his cock shallowly inside of me. He watched me intently, the breath leaving his mouth in steady gasps. "Do you still want the savage beast that tears flesh and takes life?"

I smiled and pressed my forehead against his, inhaling his sweet scent and tasting the faint flavor of blood from his mouth. "He's all I've ever wanted, Edward."

He turned us slowly until I was lying on top of him, still connected to him in the most intimate way. My fingers ran through the soft hair on his chest and I reveled in the intensity of needing Edward so badly…so desperately that I could barely breathe. And as we laid there together in the middle of the forest, I couldn't help but admit the truth…the simple truth that I had known since the first time I lost myself in those deep, golden eyes.

I was in love with my vampire…

…but was he capable of loving me in return?

*

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**Uh-oh. Someone's finally figured it out. ABOUT TIME BELLA!**

**So what do we think about wannabe vampbella?**

**Guys, my ff-twin lazykate and I have just started a collab that we're insanely proud of. Won't you please come check it out? It's listed under my stories, and has twists and turns that you won't soon forget. Give it a read!!**

**I'd love to hear what you think, so won't you write me a review? Good or bad, every word means so much. Until next week! **


	11. Resurrected

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. **

**Story rated M for underage drinking, smoking, brief drug use and overall bad behavior. Also rated for sexual situations, lemons, and hot steamy angsty vampire lovin'. Not a fan? Then this may not be the story for you. Canon pairing, pretty much OOC, E X B of course…are you still down?**

**Hey guys!**

**Thanks to my fantastic beta Isabel for recognizing what this chapter needed better than I could. She is truly fantastic.**

**Please stick around after the end of this chapter to read an important author's note.**

**Outfits for this chapter are in my profile! :)**

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***EPOV***

I sat in the driver's seat of my Volvo, anxiously waiting for my beautiful girl to walk out her front door and into my solid embrace. I chuckled when I heard her chastise her father for drinking out of the orange juice carton, my lips twisting so far upward that I felt my muscles stretch in the exertion. Just her voice, just one sound from my human girl sent pangs of joy running through me like the warmth of the brightest sun.

I held her while she slept the previous evening, but it had been nearly twenty-four hours since I'd seen the deep brown eyes of the girl who meant more to me with every lingering beat of her heart. It beat for the both of us now…the thumping repercussions of Bella's lifeline was _my_ source for life as well, my only fucking reason on this earth to even _be_.

Everything had changed so dramatically. What started out as a blinding sexual need for one another was quickly turning into more than I even knew existed.

_I didn't know this could happen to me._

It had been two days since the wolf confrontation in my family's front yard…a day that had altered Bella and I irrevocably. While the news of nomadic vampires in the area was a bit unsettling, it barely registered in my mind as a concern. If they were daft enough to return, Alice would see them the moment they decided to come our way.

Even the volatility of the young shape-shifters and the threat of unfamiliar vampires couldn't put a damper on the day that had defined Bella and I.

Seeing the pleasure she took from watching me hunt was erotic, it was empowering, and it was exactly what we needed. I knew she enjoyed it when I tasted her, even thrived on sucking her own blood off of my tongue. But the fact that she not only accepted me, but _wanted_ me for what I truly was…I just didn't have accurate words to describe what that meant to me.

We surrendered ourselves to the beasts within us _both_, recognizing once and for all that we were the _same_. It didn't matter that I was a vampire and she was a human; not when the lines blurred so severely. There was no denying it now--we were _meant _to exist together as vampires…as _mates._

Watching her embrace my vampirism as her own was something I'd never forget. She wasn't changed yet and still she exuded this primitive energy that I'd only ever seen with others of my kind. I had never felt more connected to her, more a part of her since our life-altering actions in the woods. _I needed her_…and I never thought the desire for my human girl could escalate into more than what it already was…but my God, it knew no fucking bounds.

We were supposed to return to the house that evening and discuss the nomads with my family, but we couldn't. And I sincerely mean that we _could not_ detangle our bodies for more than a few seconds…it literally ached not to be touching her.

I brought her back to her empty home, her father luckily working the late shift as we utilized our much needed privacy. I didn't let her sleep and I didn't care, both of us too desperate to touch, to taste, to _own_.

After a powerful night spent reveling in sex and emotion and the insatiable desire we felt for one another, she asked me to hold her in front of her window as we became surrounded by the early light of dawn. I embraced her securely in my arms, her head resting against my chest as she observed the sun rising high above the thin clouds…but all I could see was her. I absorbed myself in her deep chocolate eyes as she watched morning dismiss the night, the etchings of hope written across every glorious curve of her face…

And I felt awoken in that moment. Just like the sun that was rising from the edge of the earth, my deadened soul was rising from its cold ashes and becoming resurrected by the fire and beauty of the girl in my arms. It suffocated me and enlightened me to the point of disorientation...no words could ever describe the passion that burned inside of me.

She was _everything._

I was entirely consumed by her.

It nearly destroyed me to pull myself away from Bella after what we shared in the dark light of her bedroom. I had kept her up the entire night because of my selfish needs, so I made her promise she would lounge all day Sunday. It was her father's day off of work and I tried to be realistic on the matter. We couldn't spend every waking minute together. Not when she was still under his roof and expected to abide by his rules.

She protested but I had to insist, kissing her frantically as I climbed out of her window and let her go about her day.

I spent _my_ day resting upon the tree I had smashed to the ground a little over a week ago, hanging on every breath escaping her lungs and every sound leaving her lips.

During the hours not wrapped around the girl who I had solemnly vowed my eternity to, I was left thinking about my life before Bella. It would be difficult to express just how empty and devoid I was prior to her. I talked to no one, confided in _no one_. I was alone and I had accepted that fact, filling my days with solitude. After awhile I took comfort in it. I wanted to be the outcast; I craved the weary glances of pity thrown my way by my family, only because the self-deprecation gave me a masochistic sense of satisfaction.

I was contemplating going my separate way from the Cullens, leaving Alaska and existing alone like I was obviously meant to. But Alice gave me one small plea. She begged me to enter high school with the rest of the siblings. They were about to begin their senior year, so after much persuasion I was prepared to take on the role of their long lost cousin who transferred from Chicago. I hadn't attended high school since 1987. I wanted to dismiss Alice but she was persistent. _Just finish the entire school year, Edward. I'm only asking you for one year._ I gave in, and only for her sake since out of all my siblings she had usually been the one to leave well enough alone.

The fact that she was pushing had made me realize I should try and adhere to her request. Just before classes began, an opening at Forks Community Hospital made Carlisle consider taking up the old home front in Washington.

After much discussion on the matter, they decided to leave Alaska and relocate south…I fully planned on taking this as my cue and separating myself from the loving family I truly didn't deserve. _One year_, Alice had reminded me. _You promised me one year._

How long had she known that Isabella Swan was the reason I still existed in this world?

Alice had saved my life…and theoretically I didn't have a life _to_ save, but that simply wasn't the case any longer. I had a life now, and my human girl held it in her hands.

It was frightening and exhilarating to know that Bella desired to become like me. I had begun to ponder exactly _when_ and _how_ she would be turned into the being she already came to resemble. It was imperative that she graduated high school still human, and while I humored myself by believing that Bella's decision to become a vampire would be without worry or doubt, I couldn't deny the one aspect she hadn't seemed to think of.

_Her father._

I knew it would be difficult, maybe even impossible, for her to leave him alone after all they had been through together. She would realize it soon enough, and the selfish part of me wished the reality of our unique situation wouldn't rear its ugly head quite so soon.

Especially after last night.

After an entire day without the touch of her skin, I waited faithfully in the surrounding woods. I knew I should have gone home and discussed the Quileute situation with my family, but Bella's words from that very day were haunting me like a malevolent force.

_What if I die tomorrow?_

The thought sickened me, horrified me to no fucking end. My need to protect her was becoming almost irrational, but I needed to see and hear with my own senses that she was alright. The sooner she became like me, the sooner I could rest easy. I knew her transformation would have its own set of complications, but as long as she was everlasting, the rest would be manageable.

I listened as she retired for the night, fighting not to enter her window and hold her while she fell asleep. I had to stay strong. When I left her room that morning, I promised to remain my distance so she could rest, and I had to abide by that promise…because the moment I stepped through that portal, there was no denying the fact that we'd give into our need once more.

I had to remind myself how delicate she truly was, and that one tiny human girl couldn't be expected to keep up with one vampire's hearty sexual appetite.

Truthfully, she was just as adamant about physically expressing what we felt as I was. We were both a danger to her human body, and we mutually needed to learn how to rein in our sexual desires.

After she succumbed to sleep, I selfishly entered her room, surrounding her tiny frame with mine and breathing heavily in the utmost relief. It was as if someone had torn out my insides and I was being reunited with them the moment she was pressed against my chest.

I was smiling…smiling wildly as my nose pressed into her hair and I existed with my purpose once more. She slept restfully, only beginning to stir around four a.m. as she clung tighter against me. She smiled in her sleep, rubbing her cheek against my chest as she burrowed into me. "Beautiful girl," I whispered into her hair, kissing the soft tendrils gently as she wrapped herself around my body.

I groaned as her fingers slid beneath my shirt, pulling upwards until it was stretching against my skin. I chuckled and removed it, giving Bella what she wanted even when she wasn't aware of her needs. Her warmth radiated through the thin material of her tank top and comforted me like a blast of heat from a furnace. It felt like I could have almost fallen asleep…until four words completely turned my world upside down.

"I love you, Edward."

I froze against her, panic creeping up into my chest as her firm words sounded out into the empty room and reverberated inside my frozen body. This wasn't a hazy, sleep-induced statement. She pronounced it firmly, just as if her eyes were gazing into mine and her life had depended on it.

_She loved me._

What would I do?

I listened intently, wondering if she had chosen this moment to consciously declare herself to me…but her breathing remained steady and I knew she was still deeply asleep.

_Love…_

The word had meant little to me in the past.

She said it three more times throughout the night in various forms…each new endearment making me pull her a little bit tighter against me. I pushed down my anxiety and focused on the aspects of my girl that mattered most to me. The shine in her eyes when she was playful, the sincerity of her features when she talked about our forever, the way she fit in with my family so perfectly. It was the fervor in every touch, every look, every word she spoke that made me pine for her in the most desperate way. I simply couldn't doubt for a minute the level of devotion and…_love_ she felt for me.

It wasn't just the way she made me feel when I was inside of her. I didn't _need_ constant sex…I needed constant _Bella_.

She was my life.

I couldn't deny the deep ache that formed in my chest when she spoke those words to me, much like the intense sensation I felt as I held her in front of her window sill only a handful of hours ago.

Was that the indescribable burn I was experiencing?

_Love?_

All I knew was that I couldn't let go of her as she curled further against my body. She slept on top of my chest as my brain kicked into overdrive, even my vampire mentality not able to keep up with my frantic thoughts. I must have repeated those four words at least a thousand times and by the end of my chant, I still hadn't an inkling as to what it meant for us.

It should have been obvious, I suppose. I was determined to bring her into immortality with me…by whatever means necessary. I vowed that she would be mine until the earth turned to dust. Wouldn't I love her? Wouldn't I care for her and desire her and live for her like I promised?

And we were lovers…in _every_ sense of the word. There was no doubt that I had made love to my human girl. Our sex may have had a dark edge to it, but every touch we gave each other, it fucking _meant _something.

_My beloved…_

How had I been so blind?

I tested out the significant words on my tongue as she slept on, oblivious to my internal struggle. They felt right, and they were _true_…they had to have been true from the very start.

She was my light…

Of _course_ I was in love with her.

As soon as I realized the one true thing I had been hiding from because of my past isolation, a sharp sinking feeling entered my abdomen.

Did someone like me deserve love from _anyone_…especially the wonder that was my Bella?

As dawn fast approached, I decided to leave well enough alone for the time being. The night spent pondering the idea of love and what it meant to me had resulted in one colossal breakthrough…one I never thought would exist for me.

I _was _capable of loving someone…and I loved Bella with the fire of a thousand, no, a _million_ fucking suns.

But I didn't know how to express it, or even if I could at this juncture. This was all so new for me…and I wanted to do it right. Not to mention the fact that Bella hadn't actually told me of her feelings, her subconscious divulging a secret that was only hers to tell.

I'd keep her secret as my own until she was ready…until we were both ready.

I watched her in wonder as she slumbered on, my fingertips running along her arms, this simple act feeling brand new…now that I fully understood what she was to me.

I shook in restraint, fighting not to wake up Bella and make love to her, _truly_ make love to her. I wanted to see the burn in those deep eyes, my name on her lips, her muscles fighting to hold me tighter. I wanted her so fucking desperately, I could barely function. But she needed her sleep…her rest was far more important than any of _my_ needs.

I felt like I was reborn in a sense, staring at my new hands as they drifted along her skin, swallowing with my new throat as I tried to contain the words of love I had for my girl. I reveled in the feeling of our tangled legs, rubbing them together slowly and sighing at the tremble of her thighs as they tried to hold me still.

Everything was a new color, a new taste…this was a new _life_. Existing with love in your heart was like opening your eyes for the very first time. Things are blurry, disorienting even, but what waits to be seen before you is more miraculous, more breath taking than words could ever describe.

It was an exhilarating feeling, knowing that the person you burn for is in love with you. Combine that with the already joyous sensations she brought upon me and it was safe to say that for the first time in my life—I was sincerely, erratically, _insanely_…happy.

_I was happy._

I never thought I'd see the day.

I slipped from her sheets before she awoke for the day, my dead heart feeling as if it would burst as I whispered three words against her forehead.

_I love you._

I ran towards my family's home, smiling widely at the sudden turn of events--today of all days, I wouldn't let anything discourage the leaps and bounds that Bella and I had taken in the right direction.

We were debuting a new Bella—as well as our new relationship—to the children of Forks High.

It would prove to be an interesting day, without a doubt.

After a quick shower and change of clothes, I hopped in the Volvo…leading me to this very moment, anxiously waiting for Bella to burst through that door and fill the emptiness I was left with when she wasn't near.

I didn't breathe, my fingers rapping anxiously against the steering wheel as I heard her slide on her shoes. I couldn't just sit in the confines of my car and simply wait when she was so close to me. With my hand running hastily through my hair, I threw open my door and leaned against the side of my car, struggling not to run to the front steps and collect her myself.

She yelled a hasty goodbye to her father and finally the front door of her home opened, bringing me beauty in its purest form.

My light.

I smiled crookedly at the sight of her. For once she wasn't deeming her long skirt. Her hair wasn't pulled back by a modest band like she thought it had to be. She was just…_Bella._ She wore stylish jeans, a black, off the shoulder top and her black converse. Seeing her as who she truly was made my frozen heart swell with pride. She was all I had ever wanted and more.

Her heart was racing so quickly, it nearly concerned me. She ran towards me eagerly, her smile widening with every step she took…it still amazed me that I had that affect on her. She sprinted ahead until sweet resolution was moments away from being buried in my arms. I couldn't breathe, and even though I didn't need air in my lungs, it still strangled me.

Not touching her suffocated me.

Before I knew it, she lunged herself at my body, pulling at my shoulders and pressing herself against me so urgently. My arms came around her and I buried my face in the crook of her neck, losing myself in the sweet scent of her skin and the enticing liquid flowing beneath it. Her hair fell across my face and I groaned, taking hit after hit of the only drug I'd ever know. My addiction. My craving.

_My love._

"Bella," I whispered, my hands sliding up and down her back in strong, purposeful strokes. I lifted her from the ground and stood from the car until her legs were wrapped around my waist. I silently kept track of her father, all the while drowning myself in the magnificence of my human girl.

A steady whimper fell from her lips as she crushed herself against me, fighting to pull herself right inside of me. "You can't ever stay away from me that long…ever again," she pleaded, her fingers gripping my hair and pulling until her arms were shaking with exertion.

I closed my eyes and pressed my lips against her neck, struggling from the very depths of my soul not to crush her delicate body to me like I wanted to. I longed for the day when I could use my full strength while holding her.

"I won't," I murmured, knowing that distance between us was no longer an option. Not after what we'd gone through over the past few days. Not after we silently recognized the love we felt for one another.

We held each other for minutes, sighing in relief as we placed gentle kisses anywhere we could reach. "Bella, we're going to be late for school…and your father is putting his work boots on. Do you want him to see us like this?"

I smiled as she grumbled in frustration. "I don't care…I don't need anything but you, right here."

I hummed against her throat at the sheer perfection of her words, slowly sliding her down my body and opening the car door for her. She winced as we disconnected our touch and she got inside, my speed barely contained as I rushed to the driver's side and climbed in. As soon as we were concealed inside the car, I pulled her against me over the center console, our eyes staying connected as we pressed our lips together. I grabbed her chin and rested my nose against hers. "No more skipping school, beautiful girl. I won't be an enabler for your delinquency."

We smiled at each other and she rolled her eyes. "Please, vamp boy. Your girlfriend is like a borderline genius. Realistically I could have graduated last year…I've met all my requirements."

My eyebrows rose in surprise. "Really?"

She nodded, kissing my lips. "Aren't you proud?" she teased.

"I'm always proud of you," I whispered, kissing her forehead.

My hands froze at her sides as I heard her father close the front door behind him. "Hmm, morning Chief Swan," I grumbled against her lips, my smile never faltering as she leaned back into her seat.

Charlie narrowed his eyes at us from a distance and tapped on his wrist, silently telling us to get to school as he climbed into his cruiser.

Bella just smiled sweetly at her father as I waved at him, plastering a golden smile across my face and certainly not resembling the vampire who ravaged his daughter several times a day.

Bella buckled her seatbelt as I pulled away from her house at a respectable speed. She gripped my forearm with both hands, pulling me across the center until she was leaning against my shoulder. I couldn't suppress the laughter that was bubbling from my chest.

"What?"

I chuckled, shaking my head. "Your father."

She groaned. "Oh God, what was he thinking?"

I ran my finger along her cheek before bringing my hand to her thigh and squeezing tightly. "Let's just say he saw us kissing, and you are definitely getting the 'sex talk' tonight."

The blood drained from her face as I chuckled louder.

Finally she laughed and shrugged her shoulders. "I guess I'll just have to tell him about the crazy, fuckhot vampire sex I have with my 109-year-old boyfriend," she deadpanned.

I shook my head, smiling widely. "You do that, Bella. I'd be interested to see his face when you make that confession."

"He'll have to find out what you are sometime," she spoke softly, lacing her fingers between mine. "I'll be like you one day…eventually we'll have to tell him."

My stomach dropped viciously. It didn't even occur to her that she couldn't tell anyone—not even her father—of what we were. "Bella, you know no one can ever find out about me and my family, right?"

She rolled her eyes at me. "Obviously, Edward. But it's my _father_. It's not like I can just disappear right in front of his eyes without any explanation. I know you wouldn't expect me to leave him alone, not after everything I told you the other day in the meadow."

I stayed silent for the rest of the drive to school, not ready to tell her that I expected her to do exactly that. How could I be so foolish? Here I was, determined to find a way to turn her into a beast like me, when she wasn't even fully aware of the vital aspects of vampirism. She didn't understand the perils that went along with being a newborn, nor the tight level of secrecy we were bound to in order to exist amongst humans like we had chosen to do. Did I not make it clear how many rules I'd broken when I'd given myself to her? Maybe I hadn't. This was entirely my fault, and the guilt I harbored was sitting heavy and thick in the pit of my stomach.

I wasn't prepared for reality to set in…because the fact that she may change her mind about her transformation terrified me. Undeniably so. How long before disease took her? Or a car accident? Cancer? What about temperamental shape-shifters, nomadic vampires…….what about _me_?

Did we really have that much time to waste?

***

I parked and shut the car off, already annoyed at the murmuring thoughts of adolescent minds. Bella ran her finger between my eyebrows, pushing down the furrow of frustration. "What's the matter, baby?" she whispered, trying to get closer to me.

Her palm rested flat against my cheek and I leaned into her, closing my eyes at the gentleness of her touch. I wouldn't tell her what my biggest burden was—the horrifying idea of life without her by my side.

No, I couldn't allow thoughts like that to enter my mind. I had to try and stay optimistic, which would be difficult considering that was something I'd never had the need to do. I turned my head to the side and met her worried eyes, kissing her palm and giving her a small smile.

"I just expect it to be a long day. I don't see how one class period and a lunch hour will be enough time with you," I sighed, running one finger along her exposed shoulder. "Not to mention how lovely you look today…I'll be met with even more dirty thoughts of you conjured up by hormonal teenage boys."

Her face twisted. "That's disgusting."

I chuckled and shook my head. "You have no idea, beloved. Imagine if you were bombarded by sordid images of me in various positions with the likes of Lauren Mallory."

Her face fell immediately, a dark swirl of jealousy rolling in her deep eyes. "You really have to see that?" she asked softly.

I nodded. "I've had to endure it since the first second I walked upon these school grounds. You are much too gorgeous for your own good."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not." I stared at her for a moment in complete shock. She truly believed that she wasn't.

I lifted her chin until her eyes met mine, my lips just inches away from hers. "You take my breath away, Bella. Every move, every touch, every sound of your voice…do you have any idea what you do to me?"

She released a shuddering breath before kissing me passionately, her fingers lacing through my hair and pulling me closer. "You're right," she determined. "Today will be unbearable without you…only one class? That's like cruel and unusual punishment."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder until her head was buried in the crook of my neck. "On the bright side, I expect that to change by the end of the school day."

She lifted her head from my shoulder and looked at me with a wry gleam in her eye. "How are you going to pull that one off, vamp boy?"

I leaned over and kissed her lips chastely. "Oh, I'm very persuasive, _Isabella_."

I ran my fingertips along Bella's arm, her breath catching as I circled the inside of her elbow. "Would you like me to show you just how persuasive I can be?" I murmured, my eyes hungrily running over the heated blush of her skin.

Her arousal was swirling around me in the small confines of the car, her need and mine combining until there was nothing else remaining between us. We stared at each other intently until I heard the first bell ring in the distance. "We're going to be late."

"Fuck," she grumbled, pushing her forehead against my shoulder and whining adorably. "I guess we'll just have to let this build up, hmm?" she murmured, running her fingers slowly along the bulge in my pants.

I opened my car door and rushed to her side, knowing I wasn't far away from tossing her in the backseat and having my way with her. I pulled her out by the hand and pressed her against the side of my car. She gripped the collar of my shirt and slid her tongue into my mouth, tasting skin and gently exploring my teeth as she moaned against me. "You might want to watch that hot tongue of yours, unless you'd like me to walk around with this substantial erection the entire day." I pushed my cock against her stomach; already I was hard and aching for her. The thought of spending most of the day away from her only fueled my desperation.

She looked up at me sinfully, her lips pressing gently against mine as her fingers curled around my denim covered cock. "I wish you wouldn't make me wait."

If she kept up that innocent little pout, she'd have me right in the middle of this empty parking lot.

Arriving late was certainly proving to have its advantages.

"After school," I nipped gently at her throat, my hands sliding between us to palm her breasts over the thin fabric of her shirt. "After school I'm going to watch you ride my cock, I'm going to feel you cum around me, feel your hot juices sliding out of your body and onto mine…oh, Bella…the things I'm going to do to you after school."

I felt the slight tremble in her body, her heart racing and her eyes clouding with lust as she gazed up at me. "Edward, are you going to be thinking about fucking me while we're apart today?"

I swallowed thickly, sliding one hand down her stomach and between her legs. "Every fucking second," I growled, moving my hands around to grab her ass before pulling her backwards with me. "We're going to have to run."

She took my hand and we sprinted at her speed, our first public appearance as a couple temporarily postponed as most of the student body was already in their required sectors. Bella was breathless as I leaned against the wall outside her homeroom, her eyes shining up at me as the final bell rang.

She threw her arms around my neck, kissing my cheek and pressing her lips to my ear. "Do you want to play a game with me?"

I growled in her ear, pulling her tighter against me. "What did you have in mind, beautiful girl?"

She looked up at me shyly, her tongue dragging along her bottom lip. "I'm going to make you cum before you make it to first period." I swallowed thickly and she continued. "I'll be fantasizing about your cock in my mouth until that bell rings…and then you're mine. Think about it with me, please?" she pleaded softly.

I nodded and groaned deeply, pressing my lips against her forehead. "I'll think of only that, if that's what you desire."

"Mmm, that's what I desire," she murmured, pressing herself further against my groin as she stared at my mouth impatiently. "I want you to imagine my lips around your massive cock, so vividly that you'll be hard and throbbing for me when homeroom is through. Can you do that for me, baby?"

The bell had already rung but she had me trapped in her enchantment once again. "Of course I can…but where exactly did you plan on making me cum?"

She smiled shyly and walked backwards into her classroom, our eyes fixated on one another. "Leave that up to me," she winked. "Think _hard,_ Edward…think long and hard."

And then the door was shut between us.

I walked to my own homeroom leisurely, the smile not leaving my face as I thought about the images Bella and I were sharing inside our mind's at that very moment... the excitement of what was to come after the next bell rang was palpable. I could almost feel her soft lips around my cock, her brown eyes gazing up at me as she sucked me…

_God, this girl was my dream come true._

For the first time in my entire academic career—I was tardy.

And I couldn't have cared less.

*

***BPOV***

*

Hmmm, in the Volvo?

_No, not enough time._

Janitor's closet by the school office?

_Nah, too much traffic over there…_

Hmm…

Suddenly my mind came across the bathroom in the far end of the north hall. No one used it…honestly, no one really went back there at all. It was close by, and with what I had in mind, he'd get off in no time at all.

Who knew school could be so enjoyable?

After I decided where I'd be bringing my vampire to an earth shattering climax, I looked around to see the eyes of almost every student on me.

Well shit, I wasn't making my plans out loud, was I?

I looked down to my black shirt and exposed shoulder, realizing this was more skin than they'd ever seen coming from the likes of me. I met Jessica's blue eyes, caked with even brighter blue mascara.

"Hey Jess," I said, speaking slow enough for an untrained monkey to understand. "What's the deal?"

"Um," she stuttered, seeming to have been awoken from her intense gape. "Cute shirt," she said finally.

I looked down and smirked. "Oh, this old thing?" I rolled my eyes playfully.

"Were you out there with that new Cullen kid?" Tyler interrupted.

I bit my lip and looked out towards the door, missing him already. "I was," I murmured distractedly before pulling my shit together. "So did you finish your trig?"

"Is he your boyfriend or something?" Jessica cut me off rather rudely. Apparently none of these dumbasses understood how to carry on a normal fucking conversation.

My smile was full of pride as I nodded my head. "Yeah, he's my boyfriend."

Jessica's eyes widened as she muttered a silent "holy shit".

I'm sure I put a kink in her plan to pass on her legacy of "Crab-crotch" to Edward. That made me chuckle out loud and I couldn't resist some under the table sexting.

_Jessica just found out that you're my boyfriend and she seems pretty bummed that she won't be hitting it. Can vamps even get STD's?_

His reply was nearly instantaneous, because of his mad vampire texting skills.

_How do you expect me to stay hard for you if such vile words are thrown my way? By tomorrow we'll have the majority of our classes together…and I'll be finger fucking you beneath the table. And no, we can't get STDs. :-)_

I snorted and wrote my reply.

_For such a big strong man, that sure was a feminine smiley face. I'm beginning to wonder about you. My teeth will be on your cock in 24 minutes…you better be leaking for me baby. And finger fucking? Yes, please. :-p_

Tingles of warmth shot straight through my middle at the thought of having him in my mouth. Even more at the idea of his fingers in me while class went on obliviously around us. I smirked to myself and lowered my head.

"Wow, look at that smile," Jessica mused, her cold eyes not mirroring her cheerful face.

I shrugged and flipped open my phone, shifting in my seat at Edward's reply.

_I'm aching for you, beloved._

Christ, I would never get tired of hearing those words for as long as I lived…or existed, would probably be the more correct term.

I ached for him too.

**

I stared at the clock, each tick of the second hand wearing away slowly at my sanity. It was a little unsettling how wet I was for him when he wasn't even in the room with me. Every shift in my seat and contraction of my inner thighs left me throbbing, and I could nearly taste his cool, hard skin in my mouth.

The bell rang and I was up out of my seat like a buck shot.

I didn't have to search the hallway long before I was met with ravenous, golden eyes. He came up behind me and wrapped one arm around my waist, pulling me back against his rock hard cock and growling in my ear. "Go," he murmured darkly.

We struggled to keep a normal pace, but I knew we were failing miserably. After what seemed like years, I took a quick look around before dragging Edward into the deserted bathroom.

Alone at last.

Our tongues tangled for a moment, the wetness of our mouths sending sharp pangs of pleasure running through my entire body as I slammed him against the back of the bathroom door.

"Mmm, no time," I murmured into his mouth before sliding down his body.

I fell to my knees and released the buttons of his jeans hastily, yanking his pants and boxers down around his knees. His erection hit his stomach with a soft slap, my mouth watering in all its throbbing glory.

I grabbed the base of his cock and squeezed viciously, Edward's head slamming back into the wood of the door with a loud thump. "Fuck, Bella," he groaned.

I ran my tongue slowly along the head of his cock, collecting the fluid that had escaped him in his need for me. "Hmm…you kept your promise, such a good boy," I whispered against his hard skin.

He made a deep whimpering sound in his throat, his fingers digging into the wood of the door behind him. "Please, Bella."

_Holy fuck._

Edward Cullen, vampire extraordinaire had just begged me..._begged_ me to suck his cock. Luckily for him, I was more than happy to oblige.

I pressed my hand flat against the skin below his belly button, feeling the solid muscles rise and fall rapidly against me. "That feels so good, baby," I whispered. "Your skin moving against mine, you're almost soft right here, this smooth skin…"

I felt his trembling fingers along my chin. "Bella," he whispered softly, his eyes shining with a whole new kind of intensity. "When you say things like that..." He shook his head and trailed off, not able to find the right words.

The passion in his eyes, mixed in with his gentle tone made me moan deeply, my fingers curling around his hip as I held his cock in my other hand. I slid my lips along his hard skin until he was fully sheathed inside my mouth.

The sensation of having something so solid, so hard hitting the back of my throat should have felt unnatural to me, but it didn't. It was as if my soft human body was created for handling his inflexibility. Like even though he could destroy me with the smallest movements, I physically wouldn't allow it. He owned every inch of me, and my entire body knew that it was meant to take him in any way he'd give himself to me.

I groaned as I constricted around him, his legs quivering violently in his struggle to remain stationary. I held him all the way inside of my mouth until I couldn't breathe, my teeth dragging along his shaft as I slid him from my lips. I kissed his tip, looking up to meet his black eyes as he panted above me. "Feel good?" I whispered.

He shook his head in wonder and closed his eyes, slamming his head against the door. "I'm fucking seconds away from exploding in your mouth, Bella. Don't stop…"

I slid the tip of his cock back and forth across my lips before taking him into my mouth, my teeth clamping down around the head of his dick and digging in with as much force as I could muster.

The roar that escaped him was probably too loud, but I didn't care a fucking bit. I smiled around his pulsing cock as his fingers curled into the hair at the back of my head. I moaned an eager approval, relaxing my throat and whimpering as he pushed his cock all the way inside of my mouth. His thrusts were gentle but frantic as a strangled cry fell from his lips. "Fuck…Bella, I'm…_fuck_…"

I'd never heard him so desperate, his voice strained and pleading as he began pushing his cock against the inside of my cheek. I knew he was scared to hit the back of my throat while he was controlling the speed and the strength of his ministrations.

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes. Crying while going down on your vampire boyfriend isn't really ideal. But the fact that he was allowing himself to control this situation without me having to ask for it, really meant a lot to me. He was learning to trust himself with my body, and maybe he would start to realize the one thing I've been telling him since the start. He won't hurt me…he cares for me too much to let that happen.

"Are you alright?" he whispered heavily, his fingers running through the tears that had escaped my eyes. "Did I hurt you?" He questioned frantically, pulling hastily out of my mouth.

I grabbed his cock and shook my head fervently. "No, I just…it feels so good having you like this. Keep going, baby," I whispered, lowering my mouth back around him and sucking him securely between my lips.

I pulled him closer as he growled out a desperate plea. "I'll always need you, Bella. I'll always need more."

If his cock wasn't in my mouth, I would have shouted from the fucking rooftops how much I loved this boy in front of me.

His fingers were sliding around my cheeks and mouth now, holding me against him as he pumped his cock inside me. "So close," he groaned, his chin falling against his chest as he stared down at me with heavy eyes. "You're so fucking beautiful, Bella…use your teeth and I swear, I'll cum so fucking hard…"

I clamped down around him as he fucked my mouth, his hips jerking violently against me as he moaned loudly through gritted teeth. Three more thrusts and Edward was cumming inside my mouth with heavy spurts, his fingers drawing slow circles along my temples as he growled through his release.

I sucked him eagerly until he slowly slid from my mouth, lifting me from the ground until my legs were wrapped around his waist. He kissed me gently, small moans of heavy emotion sounding out roughly from the back of his throat. "One minute, twenty-seven seconds before the final bell rings," he whispered against my lips.

I pushed my face into his neck and slid down his body until my feet were planted on the floor. I kissed his throat, tucking him back inside of his boxers and fastening his pants as his hands ran up and down my back soothingly. "Bella, I wish you understood…just how much I feel for you."

"I know, Edward," I murmured against cool skin, tightening my arms around his waist.

"You couldn't possibly," he whispered breathlessly into my hair, almost to himself.

Maybe he _could_ love me…

When the idea of love was initially introduced to me, I was immediately unsure if he was capable of feeling the same. Sure, he had called me beloved from the get-go, but I took that more as an endearment than anything…like _honey_ or _sweetie_…I was his beloved. It wasn't that I doubted his dedication to me, but because after years of segregation and unhappiness, combined with his unreasonable belief that he was unworthy of such an emotion--would love be enough to break through the brick wall he had built around his heart?

Would _I_ be enough?

Of course I would be.

I'd tear that fucking wall down brick by brick, because the way I felt about Edward was more powerful than his past emptiness. He was mine, and I'd make sure he'd never feel alone again.

We were partners now, and nothing would ever change that.

I broke away from my thoughts and groaned in reluctance, pulling him away from the door. "This is going to be a very uncomfortable day." I shifted awkwardly and Edward chuckled.

"Wet, baby?" he murmured seductively, running his fingers between my legs. "God, Bella. I can feel you through your jeans."

I winced and nodded, really needing some fucking release.

He intertwined our fingers and pulled me closer. "Will you let me touch you next?"

I whimpered and opened the door. "Edward, you don't know how bad I need you."

"I'll take care of you, beautiful girl," he murmured against my temple. "It's _my_ job to take care of you."

I took one last look at the bathroom door, laughing at the imprint of his head and fingertips digging into wood. "Well, I guess we've left our mark on Forks High."

"Indeed," he chuckled, walking us swiftly to class. "I anticipate that we'll be marking our territory all over this world, beloved. We'll have forever together, after all."

I smiled broadly and kissed his shoulder, looking up at him significantly. "Promise me?"

A flash of pain swept through his eyes, which sincerely confused me. Why would he be upset while discussing our forever? He looked at me significantly before nodding. "If you want me for eternity, then you'll have me, love. I promise," he murmured gently.

He put his hand on my lower back and urged me towards my classroom. "I'll be here to collect you the moment that bell sounds. You're going to cum on my fingers and scream around my tongue while they fuck you, do you understand me?"

I whimpered and nodded. With a kiss to my temple and the gentle murmur of my name, he was gone…running at a human pace down the hallway in an attempt to make it to his class on time.

I was left aching for this hour to be over, and captivated by one small endearment that fell from his lips only seconds ago.

_Love._

He called me love…

I smiled giddily to myself, knowing that nothing could prevent our combined euphoria when we were together.

Not boy-wolves.

Not bad-vampires.

Absolutely nothing.

Just me and my vamp boy against the world…

…and that's the way it was meant to be.

*

*

*

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**I will be on vacation through February 15****th****, so I will not be posting another chapter of Laid Bare until roughly February 25****th****-ish.**

**Thanks for being patient, because I sure do need a vacay! :D**

**Thanks to my ff-twin lazykate for creating the hottest, most enjoyable collab with me. Much love to my girl Mel, who I miss very very dearly. Glad RL is treating you well, bb! We all miss you and Snarly!! :)**

**And a very VERY special thanks to Kassiah and Stephk0525 for being ah-may-zing ladies. Lots of love to you both.**

**Laid Bare has been nominated for a Golden Lemon Award! The category I'm nominated under is "Best fucking up against wall." If you've ever enjoyed the sexy times in this little ficcie, I'd love it if you'd drop by and vote for me? Here is the link: http://www(dot)goldenlemonawards(dot)com/2010/02/best-fucking-up-against-wall(dot)html **

**Thank you so much!**

**If you get a chance, please go under my profile and check out the new collaboration that Lazykate and I have been writing together. It's fun, sexy, and pretty damn hot…or so we've been told! Dirty Little Secrets by: Lazykate and Brits23**

**Will you please send me a review? Let me know that you're still reading! :)**

**See you after I'm all rested and tan! MWAH!**


	12. Touch

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Rated M...you can also find this story on twilighted (dot) net. :)**

**Hello everyone! I'm back from vacay and ready to go!**

**I'd just like to thank everyone who reads and reviews. I read every single one, and though I don't have time to respond to all, please know how much they mean to me.**

**Thank you to Isabel, who continues to be my partner in crime. None of this would exist without her, and that's the truth.**

**Talk to you down below! :)**

* * *

***BPOV***

I leaned against the wall outside the lunchroom, my neck straining to catch a glimpse of bronze throughout the sea of faceless people. My mouth was starting to ache…I hadn't stopped smiling since the moment I stepped out my front door this morning.

I huffed a sigh, running my fingers through my hair and standing on my tip-toes. Where the hell was my vamp boy?

"Looking for someone?"

I felt one cold fingertip drift down my arm before a strong hand grasped onto my hip, cool lips pressing against the back of my neck.

I groaned audibly, leaning back into him as his lips stayed attached to my skin. "Take it easy on me, Romeo. I can barely feel my legs."

I felt his mouth curl into a smile as his arms encircled my waist, trapping me against him. "You're the one who wanted to play a game, beloved. I was merely along for the ride."

I chuckled and turned my head until my lips were against his jaw. "Huh…oddly enough, a ride is the _only_ thing I haven't gotten this morning."

He laughed and began walking us towards the cafeteria. "Well, there's always the afternoon, Bella."

I smiled widely at the thought.

I felt his posture stiffen, pulling my body tighter against his as he pressed his lips against my temple. "Do you want to sit with my family today, or would you like for me to sit at your…normal table?"

I scoffed and looked up to meet his aggravated stare. "I only sat there because there was nowhere else to sit. Why are you all tense?" I murmured, running my fingers through his hair.

"The onslaught of internal dialogue has been particularly trying today, Bella." He pulled one of my hands out of his hair and kissed my fingers. "I'd just like to disappear with you and be done with it."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and pushed my face against his chest. "I'm sorry you have to listen to these people, Edward. I get annoyed with the words that spew from their _mouths_. I could only imagine how torturous it would be to listen to the things that don't make it through their verbal filter."

He nodded, his chin resting gently on the top of my head. "When you're with me, I hear nothing but your heartbeat, beautiful girl. I just need you to stay with me and everything else fades away."

My breathing faltered as the heavy emotion in his words washed through me. "I'll always stay," I whispered, kissing his chest.

His body relaxed as he gazed down at me, his fingers sliding along my jaw. "Thank you, Bella," he smiled, eyes sparkling as his fingertips drifted along my skin delicately. "I'll get us a tray. You may want to talk to Angela in the meantime, she seems concerned."

I nodded, my eyes closing as he pressed his lips to my forehead and began walking away. I bit my lip and reached out, hooking my finger into his belt loop and yanking him back towards me. I knew he was allowing me to pull him, since I was obviously no match for his strength.

But he _gave_ me strength…in more ways than I could possibly explain.

His smile was broad and breathtaking, his white teeth shining as he pressed his nose to mine. "Can I help you with something?"

I groaned and kissed him chastely, rubbing my palm along his cheek. "I just needed a little more…"

His exhale was cool and heavy against my lips, his eyes closing as he rested his forehead against mine. "Bella," he murmured tenderly.

"What, baby?" I smiled and kissed him once more, because we sure as hell weren't in the middle of a cafeteria. No, there was nothing in this whole fucking universe other than me and the boy of my dreams standing in front of me.

"How do you make it possible for a dead heart to skip its beats? How is that _possible_?" His tone was nearly anguished; his face contorted as he grabbed my upper arms and pulled me flesh against him. "Tell me," he whispered against my lips.

I swallowed heavily, a soft whimper escaping the back of my throat as the power of our connection overwhelmed me to a nearly desperate level. I grabbed him around the waist and crushed my soft body to his solid frame, needing more…needing everything.

And I was going to tell him—I was going to tell him _everything_ in this moment that was only ours…in front of the students of Forks High, the lunch ladies and God, I'd let them all know just how in love I was with the man standing before me…

…until someone ran into me with their elbow, sending a sharp pain shooting up through my spine.

I felt a vibrating growl build in Edward's chest as his arm reached out to grab the back of a shirt in my peripheral vision. Edward's eyes were still fixed on mine as he jerked the person backwards. "Aren't you going to apologize for bumping into the lady?" his voice was poisonous, his angry eyes holding mine before breaking away and his nostrils flaring as I turned to look at Mike Newton.

"It was an accident," Mike spat.

Edward chuckled menacingly. "That was no accident. Apologize…_now_."

"Sorry, Bella," Mike said sarcastically, much like my condescending tone after I crushed his balls in my fist.

Edward shoved him away from us but held the piss-ant's stare. "Let me make one suggestion that you would be extremely wise to follow, Newton. Stay the fuck away from her. Bella already proved that she can destroy you all on her own. But the next time you even _look_ in her fucking direction, I certainly won't be as forgiving as she was."

Mike shook his head and gave Edward the middle finger, but his trembling hand betrayed his intrepid facade. "He's really fucking pushing his luck today, Bella." Edward's hard eyes met mine, softening as I traced his bottom lip with my thumb.

"Why, is he a little bitter because I handed him his ass the other day?" I chuckled, shrugging my shoulders.

"The vile things that he has been repeating in his mind about you…it makes me want to kill him."

"Let him think what he wants, he's just mad that I shot him down." I ran my hands up and down Edward's chest. "I had no idea you were such a barbarian," I waggled my eyebrows suggestively, trying to lighten the mood as best I could.

He finally smiled and kissed the top of my head. "Hmm, if I recall, you enjoy the fact that I'm a little rough around the edges."

I exhaled unevenly and pushed him away reluctantly. "Yeah, you've definitely got me there. Now go get me something to eat…I'm downright famished."

Edward licked his lips and turned away from me slowly, his eyes running up and down my body before he walked towards the lunch line.

I turned to my usual table, meeting the gawking faces of the people I used to associate myself with during lunch hour. I sat next to Angela and ignored the rest. "Hey, Ang…I'm probably going to sit with Edward today. Do you want to join us?" I leaned closer and whispered, "I would never leave you with these assholes. What kind of friend would I be?" I grinned as she stared at me with wide eyes.

"Assholes?" she mouthed incredulously.

Right, I guess it was easier than I thought to be myself.

"I haven't been honest with you about a few things, Angela, and I'm sorry for that. You've been my only real friend at this school, and I never should have come off as something I'm not…especially to you."

"I don't understand, Bella," she spoke softly, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. "Everyone is saying that you're dating the new Cullen boy. Is he what's caused this change in you?"

I smiled and shook my head. "He has changed me, Ang, a lot in fact. But he's only changed me for the better. Why don't we grab a coffee after school tomorrow? I can explain all this, okay?"

She nodded. "Okay, Bella."

"You want to come sit with us then?" I asked, rising from my seat and pointing towards the table in the corner.

Angela turned bright red and averted her eyes. "No, um, actually Ben was saying that maybe he would sit with me today…"

"Ben?" My eyes went wide. Ben was another brain like us who turned into a bumbling idiot around Angela. It seemed as though he finally grew a pair and started talking to her.

She nodded and the smile that graced her face was radiant. "Wow, very nice," I winked, nudging her shoulder. "I guess we'll have more than just my issues to talk about tomorrow, huh?"

"I think so," she replied in a quiet, optimistic voice.

"I'm glad," I said sincerely, patting Angela on the shoulder. I turned to Tyler, Jess, Lauren, and a scowling Mike. "Okay, listen up gossip-whores. Yes, I'm dating Edward Cullen. No, I'm definitely not who you thought I was. Go ahead and whisper about me if you must, but there's no need to be nasty about it, cool?"

I turned and walked away from my old table, not giving them a chance to stutter out a reply. A warm feeling of belonging washing over me as I neared the group of four smiling vampires—and one ice cold vamp-bitch.

I sat down next to Edward and he handed me an apple, kissing my neck and chuckling in my ear. "You are absolutely amazing, Bella. You actually managed to shut them up—verbally and mentally."

Emmett stabbed his apple with a pen repeatedly. "Looks like that Mike kid is gonna piss his pants," he mused, shaking the abused apple at Alice until the juice covered her designer top.

"Oh, that was a very unwise decision to make, you big idiot," Alice growled, taking a napkin to her arms and shirt.

I nudged Alice and swallowed my food before speaking. "I've got a sweater in my locker that will match perfectly, don't sweat it, vamp girl."

She smiled and hugged my arm. "Thanks, Bella. Normally I see his moronic ways ahead of time, but his brain must be working unusually fast today."

Emmett grinned shamelessly. "Come on, Alice. You know I can think faster after I get head, isn't that right Rosie?"

Everyone around the table groaned in disgust, Rosalie included, but I just choked on my apple, hard enough for my eyes to water as I coughed and sputtered. Edward smiled beautifully as he patted my back. "Are you okay?" he chuckled.

"Uh, yeah," I croaked.

"Oh yes, Bella. The Cullen family has had a very active morning, and you have no one but yourselves to blame," Jasper accused playfully, pointing at me and Edward. "You've thrown so much lust my way, I had no choice but to distribute it to each and every one of you. Think of it like this; if I'm going down, I'm taking everyone with me."

Alice smirked at Jasper, twirling one of his blonde curls around her finger. "You certainly don't hear me complaining, _General_."

"_General_?" I laughed and pushed my forehead against Edward's shoulder. "Awkward."

"It won't be for long," he whispered against my hair.

"Oh, will I one day enjoy hearing about the sex life of your siblings?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

Edward smiled, glancing down at my lips before reconnecting his eyes with mine. "No, you won't enjoy it, but eventually it will be as mundane a topic as the weather."

"Mundane?" Emmett scoffed. "Speak for yourself, bro."

Edward smiled at me, rolling his eyes. "Emmett, if I did choose to speak for Bella and I, _mundane_ would never be an accurate depiction."

My eyes widened as I pushed my face farther against his shoulder, groaning in embarrassment. I was surprised when no laughter or further torment came from the table. I looked up to see all of them, even Rosalie, staring at him in shock. Alice's brow furrowed. "Did you just make a sex reference?"

Edward rolled his eyes again, brushing the hair from my eyes. "Bella, would you please tell my brothers and sisters that they're behaving worse than the—what did you call them—_gossip-whores_?"

I smiled and turned to face the others, my fingers running lazily through Edward's hair as I leaned against him. "Stop gaping at him, you dirty vampires. It isn't polite, hasn't anyone ever told you that after how many fucking decades on this earth? He's different…_we're_ different together. We're happy, okay? Just be happy _for _us."

Jasper laughed and shook his head incredulously. "Bella, it's eerie how perfectly you fit into our dysfunctional group dynamic."

Alice's smile was guilty, but glowing. "We don't mean to stare, Bella. It's just refreshing to see Edward like this after so many painful years. It's all we've ever wanted for him."

"All right, enough," Edward said gently, his smile deferential as he looked down at our joined hands.

"See, Edward? I told you getting laid would do you a world of good, didn't I?" Emmett bumped his shoulder.

"It's pretty obvious that it's more than sex that's changed him."

My eyes flew over to the radiant, bitchy blonde seated next to Emmett. Holy shit…did she just defend my relationship with Edward?

"It is," I nodded fervently as Rosalie's golden eyes met mine. "Thank you for recognizing that."

She sighed and rolled her eyes, rising from her seat. "Whatever. Em, either you can stay here and ride on the Edward/Bella love bus, or you can get the hell off and join me in the jeep. The choice is yours."

Rosalie stared me down as she walked away, Emmett jumping out of his seat eagerly. He punched Edward's arm and tugged gently on a strand of my hair. "Sorry, kids. I'm just as happy for you as the next guy, but I've got _needs_, ya know?"

"Oh God, just go!" I groaned, my face twisted in disgust as Emmett waggled his eyebrows at me.

He chuckled and walked away, leaving the four of us at the table. Alice grabbed my arm and started talking a mile a minute. "So, we're going to Seattle this weekend, you get Charlie's credit card for acing your trig test, and you buy the cutest jeans _ever_!"

"Seattle, huh?" I replied distantly, looking up into hungry golden eyes with the faintest specks of crimson dancing inside them.

"Don't worry, human," Alice said in an exhausted tone. "He's coming with us, and so is Jasper. They'll do whatever it is that men do while we're shopping and when we get back, you can model this little purple lacy number you buy at Victoria's Secret for Edward."

"Thanks, Alice," Edward's smile was award-winning as he leaned back in his seat and beamed at his sister.

She winked. "No problem, big brother."

I shook my head. "Well, if you already know what I'm buying, you could at least grab them off the rack once we get there and save me the time and hassle."

Alice's eyes went wide. "And ruin the experience of shopping for you? Absolutely not."

"But you already—"

"Really, Bella. I don't know why you'd ask me something like that," Alice shook her head. "Shopping is sacred, and you're asking me to tarnish the wonder of finding that one amazing garment you've been searching for your entire life?"

"Okay, Alice. I'm sorry," I said with a smirk, patting her on top of the head.

Jasper laughed. "It's best just to let her go off on her tangents without argument or reasoning."

Alice punched Jasper's arm, causing him to wince. "Come on, _husband_, before I demonstrate where exactly you can take all your lust and shove it."

Jasper smiled warmly at Alice. "Yes, ma'am."

"Bella, I'll grab your sweater before you and Edward leave…for…biology…" She drifted off, her eyes going slightly blank before a wide grin spread across her features. "_Wow_, Edward…nicely done."

She and Jasper left the cafeteria before Edward or I had the chance to question her last comment. I looked at him and shook my head. "It's exhausting sometimes, isn't it?"

"You have no idea," he sighed, picking up the slice of pizza from my plate. "Will you please eat for me, beloved? You'll be malnourished and it will be entirely my fault."

"Hmm, I don't know, Edward. I had a _huge_ feast after homeroom…filled me right up." I drifted my fingertips up his thigh and higher, his body twitching as I smiled at him sheepishly.

"You are a dangerous creature," he murmured against the shell of my ear, his tongue drifting along my neck before kissing my faded bite mark. "Now eat."

I complied, taking the pizza from his hand and eating it leisurely as he stared at my mouth while I chewed. "What?" I asked self-consciously.

"You're beautiful," he murmured, drifting his index finger along my bottom lip.

"Yeah, eating pizza is so sexy. How can you contain yourself from throwing me on top of this table and fucking me senseless?" I questioned sarcastically.

"Oh believe me, I'm having a _very_ difficult time refraining from doing exactly that, Bella." There was no teasing in his voice, his eyes growing darker as he observed me closely. I physically felt the air grow thicker between us like it always did when it got to the point of no return.

We'd been on each other like rabid beasts between every single class this morning, but apparently three orgasms a piece just weren't enough to satiate our needs.

Little did he know, I was a firm believer that sexual tension made the actual experience all the more exhilarating.

I finished my pizza and took a long sip from my soda. "Edward?" I questioned softly, burrowing further against his side.

He ran his fingers slowly through my hair. "Hmm?"

I lifted our joined hands and kissed the top of his. "Do you still want to play our game this afternoon?"

He leaned forward and kissed my mouth hungrily. "I always want to play with you."

"Yeah?" I questioned from beneath my lashes.

"Bella," he warned, his breath coming out heavier as he gazed down at me. I knew it drove him crazy when I played it innocent.

I kissed him once more and spoke against his ear. "Want to hear the rules?"

"Are they changing?" he murmured huskily, drifting his fingertips down my arm until they were caressing the curve of my breast.

_Fuck, this would be sweet torture._

"Yes," I breathed against his neck, hooking one leg over his thigh underneath the table.

"Tell me," he groaned, holding me tighter against him.

"The second we sit down at our table in biology…"

He moaned softly, swallowing heavily as his lips pressed against my jaw. "Yes…"

"The moment class starts until the second it's through…we can't touch each other."

"What?" he said flatly, straightening up to look at me hesitantly.

"You heard me," I smirked.

"That sounds like a completely painful and unnecessary game, Bella." He ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

I shrugged. "It's called anticipation, vamp boy. Own it. Love it."

He groaned and pressed his forehead against my shoulder. "You certainly are a masochistic little thing, aren't you?"

I laughed and ran my fingers soothingly through his hair. "Come on, Edward. My desire for pleasure and pain has definitely worked out well for you in the past. It's only one hour of being crammed beneath a lab table together. How bad can it be?"

He looked at me incredulously. "It can be very, _very_ bad."

I took both of his hands and pulled him up from the table as the bell rang. "Well then why don't you keep your arms wrapped around me until you can't anymore?"

He surrounded me in his embrace, lips pressed against mine as he slowly walked me backwards. "Can we compromise on one small detail?"

I smiled, linking our fingers and walking towards my locker. "What did you have in mind?"

"Let me hold your hand, Bella?" His eyes pleaded with me, his lips pressed against my temple as I felt his breath fan against my cheek. "I'll play your game of anticipation, beloved, but I need contact…I _need_ your hand," he whispered gently.

_I need your hand._

My heart rate increased at his last words, my sub-conscious obviously reading more into the statement than I should have. His fingers trembled around mine slightly, my face blushing bright red as I registered the fact that he probably knew exactly why my heart was racing.

He smiled sweetly and kissed my temple once more, caressing my reddened cheek with the back of his hand. "Don't be ashamed for your reactions, Bella. I told you before…don't hide from me and I won't hide from you." He lifted my fingers to his lips. "Now tell me…will you let me touch your hand, let me hold onto my lifeline?"

I groaned and nodded, leaning against him. "God, you just kill me sometimes, Edward."

He chuckled and slid his arm around my shoulders as I opened my locker. "In a good way, I hope."

I grabbed my books and the sweater for Alice, shutting the door and leaning back against it. "In an aching, mind-blowing way."

I swore under my breath as he pressed his forearms on either side of my head against the lockers, his dark eyes smoldering until his wet lips pressed against my ear. "Such a shame, really. Do you know how badly I wanted to watch you struggle to stay quiet while I stroked that pretty pussy of yours beneath the table?"

I let out a strangled cry as he pressed his erection against my hip, rubbing against me slowly, back and forth. "I had such plans, Bella. I wanted to suck your flavor off my fingers once I made you cum. Do you feel how hard it makes me, just thinking about your sweet taste?"

I felt the thick, burning flames of arousal start deep in my belly and spread throughout my body, my lips parting to taste his earlobe. "Do it," I pleaded, biting down on his solid skin. "Forget what I said…just touch me. I need you to touch me…"

I was begging him and I didn't care one fucking bit. He chuckled softly, placing open-mouthed kisses along my neck and across my jaw until our lips were caressing in slow, gentle strokes. "Hmm…I don't think so. Rules are rules after all, love."

_Fuck, there was that word again…_

I gazed at him pleadingly, my eyes connected with his as Alice drifted by and yanked my sweater from my hand.

"Thanks, Bella…and you two might want to ease up. People are staring," she trilled, bounding around the corner.

Edward exhaled heavily and kissed me chastely, pulling me away from the locker and holding my hand securely in his. "We don't want to be late," he murmured, "Come."

I rolled my eyes. "Apparently I'm not allowed."

I was sincerely aggravated at how quickly my own game had turned around and bitten me in the ass, because already I was beyond desperate to have his hands on me.

He laughed at me again, shaking his head. "I just said I wouldn't be touching you, beautiful girl, not that you wouldn't be coming."

My brow furrowed as he pulled me into the classroom, my heart beating unevenly as I silently mulled over what exactly he meant by that little comment.

Whether he would be touching me or not, I had a hunch that this would prove to be a rather interesting hour of biology.

***

My heart was fluttering faster than a humming bird's wings.

My skin…my fucking _skin_ was tingling. I felt the air in the room drift along my nerve endings, every hair standing on edge…my arms, the back of my neck…I had never felt my body become more alive.

We arrived to biology earlier than most, the minutes before the class began were providing us with nothing but _time_. Time to yearn for the things we couldn't give each other, time to feel just how intensely we needed one another. I didn't see the students billowing in from the doorway as they prepared themselves for our impending lecture. I felt nothing but the chills assaulting my body and my hand pressed against my throat as Edward watched me from beneath his lashes.

We disappeared again, our bodies physically present in the middle of the day, but our minds had fervently dismissed themselves. Our minds had us wrapped in each other, bare skin against bare skin, trembling fingers and the frantic possessiveness that overtook us always…fucking _always_.

I parted my lips, tasting his sweet scent in the air as he shifted a little closer, his fingers drawing slow, suggestive circles along the table top as his eyes burned my body like lasers.

_Like gorgeous, smoldering, clit-twitching lasers._

He hadn't said a word to me since we entered the classroom. Hadn't touched me since the moment we deposited ourselves into the lab stools. But I felt him on me…the way his eyes cocooned every inch of my body, his tongue running along his bottom lip to taste me in the air and bring me inside of him, the gentle movements of his fingers, working the smooth tabletop in the same way they'd glide along my heated flesh.

I was losing control.

_Damn him._

"I need your hand."

My voice was shaky and pleading as my fingers wrapped around his palm. He groaned softly once our skin made contact, his eyes closing as I suddenly realized I wasn't the only one being driven insane by the needs we temporarily couldn't fulfill.

"Three hours," he murmured deeply, his intense eyes assaulting me even further as he brought his face inches away from mine. "Three more hours and I'll be so deep inside of you..."

I whimpered, dropping my forehead to the top of his hand and letting his coolness soothe my balmy skin. I slowly ran my tongue along the top of his hand, sealing it with a kiss as my hooded eyes met his. "I need you, Edward."

"Soon, Baby," he murmured into my ear, careful not to let his lips touch my skin. "My family is leaving after school to hunt—all of them. Come home with me…I can think of nothing else but the ivory of your perfect body spread between my midnight sheets. I'm fucking _aching _for you, Bella."

My chest constricted and I nodded eagerly, my breath leaving me in steady pants as his desire left his body and encompassed mine in a suffocating wave. "I can't…"

He pressed me against his chest as I clasped mine, temporary forgetting our game of no touching. "Breathe, beautiful girl. Breathe for me." His index finger slid along my bottom lip before slipping inside and feeling the wetness of my tongue. I moaned around him as he slid his finger from between my lips and brought it to his mouth. "Bella," he whispered, his eyes closing once he tasted my tongue on his. "Soon."

I whimpered as he slowly released me from his embrace. "As much as I'd like to have you wrapped around me, this classroom is about to be fully occupied…and Jessica is coming our way," he sighed, resting his foot on the second ring of my stool.

Who the fuck was Jessica?

I barely knew who _I_ was at this point.

"Hey Bella!" she sang, bouncing from foot to foot in a nervous gesture. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I nodded and took a deep breath, trying to bring myself back down from the high Edward inflicted upon me and failing miserably. She mumbled on, but all I could focus on was his fingertips drifting along mine.

"…so yeah, I'm carrying on like an idiot, but seriously, I won't talk shit about you. I knew you were so much cooler than you let on, I'm crazy perceptive like that. We should totally hang out in Port Angeles sometime, the parties down there get pretty wild…or you could bring me down to La Push and introduce me to some of those fine rez boys," she winked.

I snorted. "That would be interesting."

I still couldn't tear my eyes away from Edward, a small pout forming on his lips as his thumb traced the inside of my wrist. I glanced back over to Jess, who had immersed herself in the depths of my vampire boyfriend's eyes.

_Um, I don't think so._

Just as I was about to tell her to step off my man Jerry Springer style, she held out her hand towards Edward. "I don't think we've officially met. I'm Jessica Stanley."

He nodded curtly, occupying both hands on my body in an effort to deflect the one she held out in greeting. "A pleasure," he said shortly.

I couldn't hide my smirk as he squeezed my hand. He was such a fucking liar.

She stood there for a long, awkward moment, not saying anything as her eyes bounced between Edward and I. "Okay, well, here's my number. Program me and we'll totally get together." She grabbed her pen and wrote her number in bubble letters on the cover of my notebook. I suddenly wondered if she was trying to be my friend or get in my pants. "Edward, you can take my number right off of Bella's notebook, if you'd like."

_Bitch. Step off._

Edward's smile was arrogant as he looked over her head and laughed shortly. "I'll do that," he murmured somewhat sarcastically.

She bounced away with a frantic wave as I frowned at Edward. "Was she sexually assaulting you in her mind?"

He groaned and looked down at the table. "I can certainly see where she earned her moniker. She had me tacked onto the end of a very long list of conquests. Be wary of her friendship, Bella…she made it quite clear to me that she only has one thing to gain from associating with you."

"Yeah, well she can keep fucking dreaming," I growled, craning my neck to the side to stare down the girl who was mentally groping my man.

Edward hummed as the bell rang, signaling the beginning of class. "Jealousy suits you, beloved. Mmm, look at that angry blush." His fingers drifted along my cheek before he straightened in his seat. "You make my mouth water," he whispered. "But alas, no touching."

_Why did I believe that this would be a fun idea again?_

I steadied my resolve and tried to remember that this was _my_ game. I had to try and regain control, even though I had a sneaking suspicion that the right words out of his perfectly sculpted lips would have me floundering in my seat like a fish out of water.

_Stay strong, Bella._

I stared at my notebook as Banner droned on, drawing little crabs around Jess's number and trying not to focus on the tingling sensation I felt in this close yet distant proximity of Edward.

I saw him smile brightly out of the corner of my eye. "Are you trying to ignore me?" he chuckled quietly.

I bit back my grin and shook my head, not casting him another glance.

My eyes shot up to the front of the classroom once two of the four light switches were turned off. Banner was fiddling with the ancient TV cart, trying to put a VHS tape in the VCR as if time had made him forget such a simple act.

I swallowed thickly as Edward dragged my stool closer until he was straddling it, the grate of my chair sounding out in time with the metal TV cart as it was dragged to the front of the class. I felt the vibration of scraping metal reverberate through the legs of my chair and shoot straight through the center of my body, the room growing unbearably hot as the last two light switches were flipped and the movie began blaring loudly from the front of the room.

I felt Edward's foot slip intricately through my stool, maneuvering me until he was practically wrapped around my entire body—but careful not to touch me.

I folded my arms and rested them on the table, laying my head down and staring warily in Edward's direction. His smirk was smoldering as he leaned closely, the curve of his jaw illuminated in the pitch darkness by the light coming from the boxy screen in the front of the room. His gaze was unwavering as he rested his head in his palm.

He moved in slowly, his nose barely resting above my ear as his heavy breathing sent pangs of pleasure throughout my body. "Do you still think you can ignore me, beautiful girl?"

_Nope. I'm completely and utterly fucked…in the best way possible._

I pressed my lips against my arm to stifle my moan, the anticipation swirling in the pit of my stomach like a brewing storm. Edward hummed in my ear, the pulsation of his smooth tone making me clench my thighs together tightly. The TV was blaring throughout the room, but Edward's gentle voice was the only thing I would allow myself to hear.

I looked around hastily, feeling more exposed than I'd like to be with our table positioned directly in the middle of the room.

"Mr. Banner is busy updating his _eHarmony _account this period, and can't be bothered. Five out of the six students behind us are already asleep…the rest are either absorbed in their mobile devices or actually interested in this tedious video. What will you occupy yourself with, Bella?"

I was so wet, so ready to have his touch between my legs that I was shifting in my seat. I knew he smelled the fresh wave of my arousal the moment he growled and sucked the venom from his teeth, his mouth getting sloppy not to touch as his wet lips pressed against my ear. "How connected do you think we are, Bella? I can't speak for you, but I'm attuned to your every movement, every breath, every sound you make. I literally revolve around your very essence, beloved. You are absolutely everything to me…and I wonder, just how can I prove it to you without giving you my touch?"

"Please," I whimpered softly, completely surrendering control of the situation and fighting to stay quiet. I linked our fingers tightly and pulled them beneath the table, urging both of our hands to where I was aching and desperate for only him. "Show me."

"Just your hand," he breathed deeply. "That's all I'm allowed."

"But I need you to—"

"Oh, I'll show you, Bella. I'll show you…" He opened my palm, ghosting the pads of his fingers along my slightly sweaty skin. The gentleness of his touch was alive against my flesh, the slight tickle making the rubber band in my stomach coil and release. "You're so wet, baby. God, I can smell how fucking wet you are. If we weren't surrounded by an audience, I'd crawl beneath this table and shred every piece of fabric covering your hot skin. Just feel it, Bella. Imagine my tongue making one strong pass along your dripping pussy. "

I jolted forward in my seat, squeezing his hand tightly as his words furthered the ache inside of me. "Edward," I whimpered. "Please."

His breathing was becoming labored as he let his bottom lip rest against the shell of my ear. "I'm so hard, Bella. So fucking hard, I don't have the words to describe it. I can't stop thinking about your soft lips wrapped around my cock, your tongue pressing against me and sucking the pre-cum off my skin. Do you like tasting what you do to me?"

I nodded shakily, my face contorted in pleasure and agony as I imagined the taste of him in my mouth. Edward moaned softly and shifted in his seat, the muscles in his legs flexing against mine. "Is that sweet pussy swollen for me? I can almost feel your clit throbbing against my tongue. Is it throbbing for me, Bella?"

"Oh, God," I groaned deeply, squeezing my legs together as the sound of his voice alone caressed my sensitive skin in soothing strokes. "Yes…please, _fuck_."

"Does it hurt, baby?" he crooned.

I nodded. "I need you so bad, it aches."

"And I can have you? Right here, you'd let me release the button of your jeans, slide my hand inside until it was slick with your need for me? You'd let my fingers push inside of you until your tight pussy was clenching me, coming all over me? Is that what you want? Do you want to cum hard, sweet girl?"

I was almost crying now, my entire body pulsing to the throb between my legs as my eyes shut tightly. "Fuck…"

"Mmmm, I never want you to hurt, Bella. I've only ever wanted to bring you joy, to bring you pleasure. And I _will_ ease that ache, baby…I promise. You're going to cum so fucking hard and you aren't going to make one sound, do you understand me?" he murmured darkly.

"Yes," I breathed.

I felt his tongue flick my earlobe. "Good girl," he whispered, taking my hand and wrapping it around three of his fingers. "Every time you squeeze your legs together, I can _hear _how wet you are. Every shift of your body brings the taste of your sex in direct contact with my tongue. Do you know how badly I want to touch you, _Isabella_?"

"Touch me," I ground out through gritted teeth.

He chuckled. "Anticipation…that's the name of the game, isn't it?"

My heart sank. "But I thought—"

"Shhh," he soothed, tightening my fingers around his. "Now show me. Show me how hard that sweet pussy is clenching for me. Let me feel it."

I groaned, squeezing the muscles between my legs while my fingers mirrored the action around his. "Yes," he whispered, his fingers twitching beneath mine. "Keep going, baby. Squeeze yourself for me slowly…don't stop." I bit my lip and pushed my head against his forehead, the clench and release of my sex doing nothing but heightening the intensity of my need. The muscles in my stomach were wound so tightly, the heavy swirling of pleasure making me feel intoxicated as Edward's sultry words invaded my body and mind.

His breathing was throaty and sporadic as my fingers constricted around his, subtly starting to work them up and down as I writhed in my seat. "Are you stroking me, Bella? Are you showing me how you'd stroke my cock?"

I moaned and Edward shushed me…I looked around the room to remind myself that we weren't alone. "Yes," I whimpered, squeezing his hand before sliding his fingers up and down inside of my enclosed fist.

A shudder wracked through his body, his tongue darting out to taste the skin behind my ear. "I can feel your little hand on me, Bella. I can almost feel your fingers digging into my cock. God, I want to see my cum on your skin…I want to claim you, mark you as mine. Because you _are _mine, Bella. You're _mine_." His voice was straining as our hands demonstrated exactly what our bodies were aching to feel.

"I want it too," I begged. "I want you on my skin…all of you…everything."

"Open your legs," he growled, releasing his hand from my grip and intertwining our fingers. "Let me smell what belongs to me."

I opened my legs, the evidence of my need even reaching _my _senses as my arousal came in thick waves between us. I moaned as he inhaled deeply against me, his breath shaking with every exhale as he took my body inside of him the only way he could.

His thumb rubbed the top of my hand in frantic circles, our fingers clenching and releasing together to the beat of our throbbing bodies. And then, through my fog of arousal, I finally realized what he was doing.

_He was going to make me cum without touching me._

A sharp pang of pleasure shot between my legs as the realization hit me. "Show me," I begged. "Show me what your fingers would do if they were inside of me."

Edward groaned quietly as I straightened out my hand, his fingertips drifting along the spaces between my fingers. "Right here?" he whispered softly. "You want me to show you right here?" His finger drifted along two of mine until he pushed in between them, running it slowly up and down. "Like this?"

"Like that," I moaned, my back arching in my chair as his finger slid through mine in suggestive, languid strokes. "Just like that…keep talking to me, Edward."

"Tell me how it feels." His voice was rough and deep as his finger pressed down on the skin between two of mine. I couldn't begin to explain how the hell he was doing it, but the pressure he inflicted on my hand made me one step closer to a mind-blowing climax. I grunted in the back of my throat as he sat up eagerly in his chair, his fingers sliding harder along mine as he growled in my ear. "Tell me what my voice is doing to your body."

I bit my lip and clasped my eyes tightly, trying to pull myself together enough to form coherent sentences. "Your voice…it's in my ear, but I feel it in my body, all over me…you're inside of me, Edward. You _are_ inside of me right now."

"More," he demanded, his lips pulling my earlobe into his mouth as his body started moving against mine in time with our fingers.

"Your hand," I swallowed audibly, pushing my ear against his mouth as he fucked it with his tongue. "I feel your fingers sliding through mine, and I know that's the way you'd stroke my pussy, baby. I _feel_ it…I feel your cold, hard fingers inside of me…fucking me, taking me, owning me. _I am yours_…and you're claiming me right now. It hurts, I'm so tender but I'm so fucking _close_, Edward. God, what are you doing to me?" I cried silently, my whole body trembling as I fought to get myself closer to him.

"Bella," he groaned almost inaudibly, his fingers sliding from mine until they were against the inside of my wrist, swirling against the delicate skin. "So soft here, so sensitive. Do you feel me, beloved? Take this touch and let it run down your body…take it to where you need it most…take me…"

I clenched the muscles between my legs tightly, the wetness seeping out of me and running down my inner thigh and saturating into the fabric of my jeans. "Mmm, that's it, baby. I hear you working yourself…I smell you. Squeeze tighter, harder…fuck, I'd be pounding you so hard right now. I need to see you cum, Bella. Please, _please_…I _need_ it."

He was getting as frantic as I was as his fingertips drifted along my skin, his desperation fueling the pulsations of my body. My heart was racing…he was really going to fucking do this…

His hand slid from my wrist and took mine, his fingertips pressing against the skin between my fingers and sliding them back and forth slowly. This simple action was driving me absolutely crazy. I was seconds from giving him exactly what he wanted.

My freehand reached up to wrap around his neck, my faced pressed beneath his chin as my body moved in time with his fingers and my convulsing sex.

So close…

"Yes," Edward groaned, his grip nearly painful as he felt my body letting go. "Nobody knows, Bella. You're going to cum for me, on me, around me…and it's just ours. It's fucking _ours_, beloved."

"Edward," I cried softly, my hips rising slightly off of my chair as a slow, tremoring burn started weakening my limbs.

"It's all right, beautiful girl," he whispered in a strained voice. "I have you, and I want it. You make me feel so fucking good, baby. Look up at me…let me see your face…let me see your climax. Share it with me….make it ours, love."

_Love…_

I came hard and silently, my fingers digging into the hair at the base of his neck as wave after wave of arousal assaulted my body. I couldn't hold still as I came viciously, Edward pulling me against his body while I fought the urge to scream, to thrash, to completely lose my fucking mind.

It felt different, reaching climax without touch. It was gentle but _fierce_…it snuck up on me and slid throughout my entire body like a thick wave of molten lava until I was absorbed in nothing but this intense, gratifying _burn_.

I didn't make a sound until after it traveled through every inch of me, the aftershocks causing a low, steady whimper to sound from the back of my throat. Edward's mouth pressed against mine, taking my cries into his mouth and silencing them from the outside world.

_Share it with me…make it ours…_

Fuck, just replaying the words he spoke to me almost sent me into another earth shattering release.

A scraping chair behind us jolted me from my ecstasy, my eyes flying open to meet Edward's. "No one knows, Bella," he reassured me gently.

His fingers slid along my jaw, his chest vibrating against mine as his body tensed. "That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen…I can't even…"

I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin. I needed to touch him; I couldn't be in this room where others were invading our intimacy. I couldn't take it, my body shaking in the overwhelming need to be alone with him--it was fucking unbearable.

I gripped him tightly, his breathing heavy as he sensed my anxiety. "Listen to me, Bella. Calm down. I'm here, I'm right here and I need it too. Hold onto it….we're almost through and I'll touch you, we'll touch each other, beautiful girl."

"Edward," I whispered, the hot tears filling my eyes as I held onto him for dear life.

"I know, Bella," he whimpered quietly, his fingers twitching around my waist. "I have to let go, baby. The movie is ending…"

"No," I spoke a little louder than I should have, the panic of being separated from him was more than I could bear.

I vaguely saw Banner walking to the TV as credits rolled along the screen. Edward pried my fingers from his skin as the tremors of desperation crept up my spine. "Don't," I pleaded silently.

"Please, Bella," he begged me with loving eyes. "Just a few minutes…hold on to me."

I held his hand tightly beneath the table as he separated his body from mine. I felt cold and empty and incomplete once we were apart, the intensity of how connected we really were was scaring and enlightening me beyond definition.

_We were destined._

I pressed my lips together and focused on my breathing as the harsh fluorescent lights abused my retinas. I was begging the hands of time to move, to give me my vamp boy before I perished from our separation.

Edward was out of his seat seconds before the bell rang, pulling me behind him and through the crowded hallway until we were in a refreshingly empty corridor. I heard the squeak of a wooden door and when I opened my eyes again, I was pressed against the wall inside our haven…the room that had given us the privacy we'd needed the entire day.

Edward's groans were desperate, feral as he lifted my shirt and fell to his knees, pressing his face against my abdomen, tasting my skin and absorbing me inside of himself.

In a split second, my jeans were open and his fingers were inside me. Illusion was quickly replaced by the reality of his touch, and I came fervently the moment he made contact with my skin. I screamed into his mouth, my hands tearing at his jeans to get to his straining cock. He growled and pulled until the button of his pants tore away from the fabric, sounding out quietly as it landed against the tiled flooring.

I dove inside and clamped my fingers around him, pulling him into the stifling air between us and stroking him with hard, frantic strokes. The head of his cock pressed against my bare stomach, his wetness covering my skin and providing the perfect lubrication to allow him to slide against my heated flesh.

"Cum on me," I whimpered into his mouth as his fingers curled inside of my body. He was moving so fast inside of me that his touch was nothing but a heavy vibration. He was claiming me, he was covering himself in my juices and we were both so fucking lost in each other…

"Cum on me now…I need it on me, it's mine, Edward. You're _mine_. Mark me…fucking mark me right now. Cum on me!" I demanded against his lips.

His growl was uninhibited as he pushed me tighter against the wall, four of his fingers pounding me between my legs as my head grew lighter and disoriented.

I pulled his cock hard against my belly button until cool, thick liquid was pulsing against my stomach over and over again. He cried out loudly, the sounds releasing from his mouth were unlike anything I'd ever heard before. His moans were vulnerable, they were desperate…they were fucking beautiful.

"I'm yours," I whimpered as I came desperately around his fingers once more. "I'm yours."

I repeated the words almost incoherently as we fell into a heap on the bathroom floor, my legs wrapped around his waist as he held me in his lap. We were shaking so viciously, like we had been trapped in the intense cold for hours, days, _years_.

Shaking wasn't even an accurate definition of how violently our bodies were wavering between our embrace.

It was too much…_but God I needed more_.

I pushed my face into his shoulder, my tears seeping into the fabric of his shirt as I pulled him tighter against me. "Edward."

He said nothing, the room completely silent except for our heavy panting. His fingers curled around my shoulders until the pressure of his grip was becoming painful. I looked up and ran my hand along his cheek. "Easy, baby," I whispered.

His eyes jerked to mine, his embrace lessening in intensity as he stared down at me. "Imagine feeling this...right now…imagine only being able to hold me with no strength at all, Bella. The way you'd cup an egg in your hand…that's how I have to touch you…and I'm giving into this connection between us, it's owning me, you are _owning_ me, and I need to fucking _hold_ you, Bella. I'm trying so hard…"

My heart broke at his devastated tone. Here I was, holding my vampire as tightly as my muscles would allow, and he could barely touch me. But I was _his_ to touch!

It wasn't fair to him…I'd fucking burst if I couldn't hold him like this after what we had just experienced together.

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed into his neck, his fingers sliding along my jaw and lifting slowly.

"Please don't," he begged. "You don't know how much you give me."

"When will you explain it?" I murmured, now knowing without a fucking doubt that he loved me just as ardently as I loved him. "I have to hear it, Edward."

"And I have to give it to you," he whispered against my lips, cupping my cheeks tenderly. "I want to so badly, Bella."

"Please," I whimpered.

The bell rang, signaling the start of our next class, but neither of us cared about anything but each other.

This was bigger than school, than curriculum, than _life_…

This was everything…

"Tonight is ours," he murmured intensely, his hands gliding along my back beneath my shirt. "I'll give you all of me tonight, Bella. I'll bare my soul tonight."

"Bare," I whispered against his throat.

That was all I ever wanted us to be.

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***Sigh*…these two are intense, huh?**

**Won't you come and play with me and Bitey on the forums? He sure has a way with words (for an example, please see above chapter). http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=7529**

**My name on twitter is Brits23.**

**Drop me a line in the form of a review, I live for your amazing words!**

**See you next week!**


	13. Save Me

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Thank you for your patience while I diligently worked out the kinks in this 11,000 word monster. It was a tough one, and I certainly hope I did it justice. I'll let you be the judge.**

**Have I told you lately that I love you? Yes you, at your computer/mobile device, reading mah Bitey? For every moment you spend reading, PMing, reviewing, pimping, tweeting, blogging, etc. etc., please know that there aren't enough words in the dictionary to describe how much it means to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.**

**Isabel, once again, saved the day. If you take any pleasure from this chappie, be sure to pay homage to my fantastic, amazing, brilliant beta-extraordinaire! Love you, chicka!**

**And a special big thanks to my twin, lazykate, for helping me whip Bitey into submission and just being an all around fuck-awesome person. Love you, bb!**

**Ok, enough of this. Settle in, it's a big one. We're picking up where we left off, in the bathroom at school after the no-hand giant O, and it seems our kids are on the verge of quite the epiphany. Let's watch… :)**

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***EPOV***

I held her as tightly as I would allow myself, her limbs trembling around mine as silent tears fell from her eyes. I couldn't think, my usually stealthy mind now drowning in my need and love for the girl who lay sobbing in my arms. Tears of hope, of everything we felt for one another were trailing down her cheeks and while I couldn't bear it when she cried, I had to keep telling myself they were tears of our inevitable understanding.

Because now it was so blaringly clear.

This was what we'd be, _forever._

Every day, every minute, every second…we had become _more_. I was beginning to fear it would be too much for her to take, because the power of our bond was nearly shattering _me_. It was passionate and consuming, too strong for any human to bear, and yet she was…she was doing it for me.

It was nearly agonizing, my love for her. My words couldn't express its depths, my arms couldn't hold her tight enough to instill it inside of her, my mind couldn't scream loud enough for her to hear.

Had it really been only the previous evening that I'd learned of her love for me? Had it really only been a handful of hours since the moment I realized what I'd been feeling for her all along had been love as well? I'd thought about it every moment since and with each passing second, it intensified. The layers of misery and unworthiness I harbored for so very long had quickly been replaced with a mutual and permanent love, a love that had awoken me further than I ever thought possible.

I'd give her everything tonight. My love, my truth, the soul I was now convinced I had. I felt like a pressurized bottle, my top straining to be released….I couldn't contain my overwhelming adoration for Bella any longer. Things were moving fast, yet slow enough to drive me mad.

I wrapped her inside of my embrace, trying to comfort her as well as come to terms with the raging emotions inside myself. She attempted to speak my name but it died in her throat, only to be replaced with a soft whimper as she clung to me tighter. I slid my fingertips along her jaw and lifted, drawing gentle circles along her cheek as we searched each other. My voice was nearly gone itself, as I struggled with my words. "Are you all right, Bella?"

She exhaled shakily as a fresh round of tears glistened down her face. "Is this what it's like to feel everything at once?"

I ran my thumb along her bottom lip and leaned in to kiss her top. "Tell me what you mean, baby," I whispered softly.

She exhaled heavily and began wiping her cheek, my fingers making quick work to join hers against her skin and cover us both in the salt of her tears. "It's like every emotion imaginable is being unleashed inside of me simultaneously. My love for you…it's too big for me, Edward." She spoke quietly but desperately, trembling against me as if she were unsure of making such a confession.

But I was aching for it.

"Can I take you somewhere?" I whispered, closing my eyes tightly and removing my fingers from her smooth skin, fighting the urge to squeeze her fragile body with the strength of my love…a strength that would rival even Emmett's immense force.

A small smile formed on her lips as she gazed up at me with tear-filled eyes. "Where, the woods?"

I smiled and kissed her forehead. "If that's where you want to go, love."

"It doesn't matter," she murmured, pressing her lips against the side of my neck and curling her fingers in my hair. "Just take me to a place where I can be alone with you, where we can disappear from everything else in this world."

I inhaled unevenly and stood us up, holding Bella's shoulders as her legs shook in the exertion to keep her upright. I watched her intently as my fingers massaged her stomach slowly before sliding down to button her pants. She sighed heavily and fastened my jeans in return…the simple act making my insides flutter in the anticipation of being alone with her.

"Come here," I murmured gently, lifting her by the waist and pressing her chest against mine until she wrapped her legs around me, her face buried in my shoulder. I listened intently with my lips pressed to her hair, ensuring the hallway was empty before we made our escape. When the coast was clear and my need for our seclusion became unbearable, I was out the door in a vigorous human sprint. I didn't allow a breath to pass from my lips until I was surrounded by my girl in the comforts of my Volvo.

She straddled me in the driver's seat, her arms clamped tightly around my neck as I drove frenziedly in the direction of home. I had one hand on the steering wheel, the other pressing my human girl so tightly to my chest that I could feel her frantic heartbeat reverberate throughout my entire body. I could barely concentrate on the road with Bella wrapped around me, the sweet scent of my eternity nearly making me incoherent with the need to be inside of her. I wanted to make love to her, to connect our bodies in the same way our hearts had so desperately and irrevocably fused together. "I'm taking you to my bed…we're going home," I groaned as she shifted in my lap, pressing her trembling body against me.

Her little fingers cupped my face as two more lingering tears slid down her cheeks. "You are my home."

I closed my eyes and leaned forward until I could taste the skin of her neck, watching the road from beneath my lashes and moaning as her hot mouth enclosed around my earlobe. The strength of my love for her was so commanding it nearly buckled my entire body…a body that was designed to be infallible…yet this tiny human girl had the power to destroy it with a mere look and a touch.

"I'm ready, Edward," she breathed against my skin, her teeth scraping along my neck as she crushed herself against me. "I don't want to be breakable…I don't want to be governed by time anymore. I just want you, endlessly."

I swallowed audibly and shuddered against her trembling body. "It's yours, Bella. I promise it's yours."

My thumb ran urgently across her cheekbones, collecting my love's fallen tears as I lost myself in her dark eyes. She held so much knowledge inside them, the certainty of her feelings for me so blatantly clear…she was willing and ready to end her human life for the sake of our eternity.

_How would I ever begin to express how much that meant to me?_

After what seemed like an excruciating amount of time, we pulled into a refreshingly empty driveway. I couldn't help but wonder if Alice had anything to do with Carlisle and Esme's departure.

I ran so fast I barely touched the ground, Bella's fragile body vibrating against me as her heavy breathing turned into wracking sobs. We were both aching for the isolation of my room, to be naked with each other…in every sense of the word. "Faster," she cried as I eagerly grabbed the back of her shirt and tore it down the middle, shredding the fabric and pulling it from her body as I shut my bedroom door behind us.

The illumination provided for us was deep and purple from the angry clouds moving in on the horizon and pouring through the parted curtains. The brewing storm around us emulated the intensity between us…slow and urgent, raging and calm, beautiful and unbearable—it wrapped us in its omniscient glow and protected us in its sanctifying and humble embrace.

Our breaths were erratic as we stared at each other in the dim light that was created just for us, her voice nothing but a desperate whimper as she trembled in my arms. Nothing existed but our quivering forms, frantic breaths, desperate touches and declarations of love and suddenly—I crumbled. The power of this girl, the love, the magnitude of this moment in my life had finally taken my body as its hostage.

With a strangled groan, I fell to my knees.

Bella untangled her legs from around me, kneeling in front of me and frantically grabbing my face as I fell apart around her. It wasn't until my chest began restricting to the point of pain that I realized I was sobbing in dry, violent tremors.

"Edward," she whispered anxiously, her hands running frantically through my hair and urging me to unclasp my eyes.

I was shaking…I was losing control. I had never felt anything so powerful in my life, and her love…it was shattering me. I opened my eyes and choked back venom as I took in her tear-soaked face. "I don't know what to do, Bella. I can't—"

"Shh, come here," she whispered between her tears, holding my body against hers and running her hands up and down my back soothingly. Her eyes were burning with intensity as she held my gaze. "Listen to me, Edward. I've never felt so close to the edge, because I don't know how to contain this, what I feel for you. But we can't let the power of our emotions destroy us…there's too much between us. It's too strong, it has too much potential to break us and I won't fucking lose you," she cried, her warm tears falling against my cheeks. "Tell me what we're doing, baby. Let me save us…help me save us."

I groaned and pulled her tighter, my arms trapping her against me as her words constricted my frozen heart to the point of pain. I couldn't wait another moment to tell her the only truth I had ever known. "God, I love you, Bella. I'm so desperately in love with you."

The room was silent, her body suddenly still, my heart full enough to burst. Her wide eyes gazed into mine, her lips parted as two large tears seeped over her lashes and rolled along her smooth skin. "You love me?" she whispered softly.

I groaned and sat back on my haunches, pulling her into my lap and holding her with the intense delicacy I was constantly forced to maintain. "I can't begin to explain how much I have inside of me, and just how entirely it belongs to you, beloved. Two weeks ago I didn't think I was capable of giving you what you deserved… and now all I want to do is give you more than that. I need to give you all of myself or I don't exist. I don't exist without _you_. You ask if I love you? God, Bella, love has no right to define what I feel for you. But it's the only word that will ever come close. Of course I love you, beautiful girl. How could I not?"

She cried out and struggled against me, trying to get closer and failing in the process—it just wasn't physically possible. "I love you," she cried, her warm tears seeping into the fabric of my shirt. "I just know…I know I was put on this earth to love you, Edward. I've only ever been yours…I belong to you, and I've known it since the second I saw my life in your eyes."

I moaned and placed gentle kisses against her bite mark. "So long I wondered why I was chosen to live like this, to exist day in and day out with no reprieve. You're the reason, my beautiful girl, my love. All these years I've thought myself cursed, but now I know it couldn't be further from the truth. I was blessed with a gift from God the moment Carlisle sunk his teeth into my skin because he was bringing me to _you_. And now it's forever, Bella." I held her face gently in my hands and pressed my forehead to hers. "It's you and me, forever. You and me, beloved…tell me," I begged.

My thumbs wiped frantically at her tears, her fingers tugging on my hair as she groaned in complete and utter desperation. "You and me," she whispered.

"I love you," I murmured against her lips, my words coming out rushed as my thoughts ran rampant in my mind and my grip became insistent on her flesh. "I'm not afraid of giving into my need for you. I don't want to feel sorry for myself any longer…I just want to be with you, take you as mine as long as we're on this earth and when we leave, Bella, when we leave I swear to you, we are leaving _together_. We're leaving _together_…" My last words were barely audible as they left my lips, my face contorted in the need to make her understand just how endless my devotion to her would be.

"Hold me tighter, I need more of you," she breathed into my neck, pushing herself against me and tugging on the collar of my shirt. "I need you to make love to me."

I groaned, pressing my lips to her ear and sliding my finger gently across her bite mark. "I've made love to you every second I've touched you. Every time I've put my teeth in you, every moment I've kissed your lips or spoke your name or wrapped you in my arms. Bella, I've made love to you every single second since the day you became mine…I'll never stop."

She moaned deeply and crawled further into my lap until she was pressed against my straining cock, her hands on either side of my neck as she kissed me frantically. "You have no idea how it makes me feel when you say things like that. Touch me, baby…it's hurting me, I need you so badly."

I felt the excruciating need for her bubbling up inside of me, and I struggled to restrain myself when all I wanted to do was feel her wrapped tightly in my embrace. "I need you, Bella, but you have to ground me. Please don't let me hurt you," I begged in a broken, trembling voice. "I need to hold you, _really_ hold you, but everything is so hard to control when I feel like this..." My fists shook against the small of her back, my fingers tightening and releasing as I resisted the urge to crush her against me.

She began unbuttoning my shirt, groaning in frustration when she couldn't get them undone fast enough. I lifted us from the floor and set her on my bed, removing every piece of clothing standing in my way before ridding me of mine as well. Our loud moans of pure completion echoed in the walls of my room the moment our bodies were pressed together. Her legs wrapped around my waist securely, her arms around my neck as I slipped mine around her body, pulling her to me and focusing on the pressure I inflicted.

"Look at me," she breathed, her voice attempting to maintain steadiness as we buried ourselves in each other. "Feel my skin, Edward. Feel how soft it is…how easily it gives beneath your fingers. I'm breakable right now, but I won't always be. Someday, you can put everything you feel for me into your touch, into my body…but not yet. Until we're made equal, you have to love me softly with your lips and your tongue and your touch. We'll let go soon, baby. But for now…just love me."

I smiled at her softly, brushing the hair away from her face and kissing the tip of her nose. "Do you understand the magnitude of what I feel for you?"

She nodded, returning my smile as she ran her hand down my back and gripped my ass, pushing me farther between her legs. "I know," she whispered, taking my bottom lip between hers as I took her top. The simple kiss left us breathless. "I need you inside of me, Edward."

I rocked my hips against her slowly, letting her feel how hard she made me, allowing her wetness to cover every inch of me. I slid my fingers across her collarbone before trailing them between her breasts, down her stomach and between our bodies to caress her burning skin. "Once I change you, I can be inside of you for days." My eyes were intent on hers, our breathing escalated as I teased both of us with slow, gentle touches.

"I'll want you for longer than that," she gasped, holding my wrist as I explored her wet skin.

I leaned forward to kiss her lips and rested my nose against hers, my eyes closing to the intensity of her gaze. "Then you'll have me longer, my love."

Bella's breath faltered as the whimper in her voice reverberated into my chest. Her lips were pursed as she writhed beneath me, the telltale signs already forming…she was getting ready to beg for it. It would pain me to hear her pleading for something that was already hers to take. "Don't, Bella," I murmured against her lips. "You never have to ask for my touch…I live for you, _I _should be begging for _you_. Let me, _please_..." I sucked her nipple into my mouth, rolling it against my tongue as her hands found my hair. "Please," I groaned, keeping eye contact with her as I moved down her body and tasted the heated skin of her abdomen. "Please, Bella," I choked out against her hip, my hand splayed out across her stomach as I rested my cheek against her thigh. "Please," I whispered absently, my eyes absorbing the pure beauty of the girl I belonged to.

"I'm yours," she whispered, the goose bumps on her skin coming to life, the heaving of her chest rapid as we gazed at each other. "I'm yours to feel…I'm yours to take."

"I'll beg you every day for the rest of my existence, beloved. Please…_please _say you'll allow me that small request. Tell me I can have every day…_every single day_, Bella."

I inhaled heavily as I pressed a kiss to her hip, my thumb sliding down to draw slow circles over her clit. She gasped at the sudden contact to her swollen skin, her whole body flushed and trembling in her need for me.

She grasped at my shoulders hysterically, pulling until I was covering her completely, my dick twitching against her wetness as she pushed our hips tightly together. Her tears had finally ceased, only pure rapture left in their wake as endless brown melted into captivated amber. Her words were soft but penetrating as she lifted her body off of the bed to bring us closer together. "This is what we'll be…every day, every minute, every second…I love you, we belong to each other…and Edward, I fucking swear to God, if your venom had the power to give me our forever right now, then I'd be pleading, crying, _begging_ you to make me yours."

My fingers drifted along her cheek, my smile reverent as I let her words enter a place deep inside of me, illuminating my very essence with her light. "We have so much to talk about…so many plans to make. But for now, just let me worship the girl I love. Let me show you how much you mean to me." She moaned as I kissed her mouth with long, passionate strokes of my tongue, my teeth dragging gently along her bottom lip as I drifted my hand leisurely down her body.

Once the sweet torture was more than either one of us could bear, I aligned myself at her entrance, the head of my cock sliding effortlessly along her slick skin. I searched her eyes intently as I slid inside of her at an agonizingly slow pace, staring into her eager eyes and exhaling leisurely as I concentrated on the feeling of her tight walls gripping me like the only home I'd ever known. It was intoxicating, the sensation of joining our bodies so intimately, so deeply.

I moaned as her legs wrapped further around my waist, every inch of our bodies pressed against one another as I pushed our hips securely together. I slid my arms beneath her back and held her to me, our hasty breaths entering each other's mouths as she pushed harder against me. "I don't want you to let go. Stay on top of me…don't pull out of me. Just don't let me go," she whimpered softly, her fingers pressing rigidly against my shoulders.

I groaned and slid her leg into the crook of my elbow, lifting until I could fill her even further with my aching cock. I pushed until her knee was resting against her chest, the new angle allowing us the pleasure of consuming each other entirely. "Feel me," I panted, deep groans falling steadily from my lips. "Feel how I was made to fit inside of you."

She nodded and gripped my hair in her fist, pulling me down until our tongues were moving rapidly together, the passion I felt for her rising up in my chest and threatening to explode inside of me. "Tell me again, baby," she breathed as her swiveling hips collided with soft slaps against mine.

I released her leg from my elbow and held her thighs, pulling until they were wrapped as tightly as they could be around my body. My forehead rested gently against hers, our fingers entwining securely as we existed for no one but each other. "I love you," I whispered intensely.

My kisses were chaste and gentle as I covered every expanse of her skin I could reach, remembering my strength and knowing that no matter how fervently I desired her, I'd never allow myself to end the only thing in this world that mattered. I waited until her clasped eyes released, her lashes dark and wet from the onslaught of tears she cried for the sake of our love. Her eyes danced between mine, my chest constricting painfully as we allowed our strength and the silence of the darkening room define this monumental moment.

We were finally letting go, giving in…_becoming one_.

_Mates._

Nothing came close to this feeling of completion. No words could ever begin to describe the beauty of my girl writhing beneath me with pure love in her eyes. It was transparent and as obvious as the color of the sky, the sound of the breeze. She had everything in her arms, and so did I. "I love you, Edward," Bella's sweet breath ghosted across my skin.

Her passion surrounded my heart like a force field, protecting it and breathing life inside of me until I could almost _feel_ the warmth of my skin, the emerald green in my eyes, the frantic beating of my heart that belonged solely to her.

She made me feel like a man…_her_ man.

All Bella wanted was to become a vampire, but she was giving me more humanity and life than I ever thought possible.

For hours we surrendered ourselves to the ebb and flow of our love making. I couldn't pull out of her, the agony of detaching from her more than I could bear. I pressed my face to her neck and sobbed for the beauty of what we had become, the way she had enlightened me and the gift of her forever that I couldn't begin to accurately define. I stayed inside of her and moved with slow, rhythmic circles. Our muscles clenched and released, working us towards yet another orgasm with only their ministrations…I couldn't leave her heat, wouldn't lift my hips from hers because we would be empty and I wouldn't fucking allow it.

I held her loosely in my arms as we shook in love and absolution, the knowledge that my human girl felt surrounded and secure in my embrace being enough to satiate the pain of not holding her like I needed to.

We disposed of all our pretenses as we rocked against one another in unwavering, united movements.

I was no longer a tortured, despondent vampire.

She wasn't a seventeen year old girl who had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

We just _were_.

Bella and I abandoned our shadows of doubt and hesitations of the future and before I knew it, desperate, pleading words were falling from our lips faster than I could recognize them, words I never dreamed of hearing or saying.

"You define me," I groaned.

She whimpered. "I can't contain it…I need all of you."

My hips pressed more urgently against hers.

"You have it, Bella."

"But I need more!" Her frustration pained me.

"I'll give you everything I have, love," I whispered against her skin.

"Tell me."

"I love you," I moaned.

"Yes…"

"Nothing will take you from me."

Her hands were rigid against the back of my neck as she pulled me against her. "Nothing…"

I whimpered into her mouth. "I'll marry you, Bella."

She cried out, my words surprising both of us but feeling so incredibly right. "Yes…I want your ring on my finger."

I couldn't control the velocity of my tremors. "I'll take you to a place where only we exist."

"Only we exist _now_," she moaned, her arms tightening around my back. "I want you to take my life."

"I _will_ take your life."

"Please, I want it to be yours," she groaned, crashing her forehead to mine.

"Soon, beloved. I'll take your life and replace it with our eternity," I choked out.

"You can never leave me."

I moaned and kissed her, sloppy and frantic. "I have nothing inside of me without you."

"Say it," she begged heartbreakingly.

"I won't leave you."

She sobbed and bit my neck. "_Say it_!"

"I won't leave you!" I growled, my arms tightening around her body. It was more forceful than I should have given her but she needed my strength. "I won't leave you, Bella."

I stilled and pressed my cock deep inside of her until I throbbed achingly from the sheath of her tight, hot walls. "Shut your eyes…feel this." I placed my palm flat over her erratically beating heart. "I'm in your body…feel my body inside of yours."

She whimpered desperately and entwined her fingers with mine over her chest, her entire body quivering as I felt myself grow larger inside of her. "My body is your body. My heart is your heart. My soul is your soul. Leave you, Bella? I'm inside your fucking body…I'm a part of your skin, love…feel me!" I groaned loudly and I couldn't hold back from pumping her sweet pussy as fast as my body would safely allow. I pressed my forehead to hers and felt strangled with my love for her. "I won't leave you, my beautiful girl. I promise you…I promise_…I promise_."

"I fucking love you so much, Edward. _Please…_" My face was grasped tightly in her hands. "Listen to me…I love you…I can't even breathe, it hurts but I need it so much…tell me what to do, I need you to help me," she pleaded frenetically.

Oh, we were so dangerously close to losing control.

I watched her fall apart around me because nothing did us justice. No words, no touches, none of our declarations of forever, none of the things we voiced that we didn't even know existed for us.

None of it would ever be worthy of this bond.

But I had to bring us back.

"Bella, look at me," I whispered, pushing her sweat soaked hair away from her forehead and gazing into my source of life. "I love you, and each time I say it I'll be aching to say it again. I need you to understand but I know you do, even if I can't be convinced that anyone could comprehend a power such as this. I know you do."

"I do," she cried, her fingers tangling in my hair and pulling until my ear was resting against her chest. "Listen to my heart, Edward," she sobbed breathlessly. "Listen to what I can't put into words."

I slipped out of her wet heat as my ear rested over our heart…the loss of connection painful but the power of those steady beats against my eardrum was giving me just as much intimacy, just as much life.

And I heard it then…I heard everything she was trying to say but couldn't articulate. This epiphany of ours was beyond this fucking world…more than any human or vampire could begin to grasp. I knew I had to fight to bring us back down before it swallowed us whole.

"I hear you, Bella. It's us in your heart, in your body. It's us baby." I lifted myself until my lips were pressed against hers, her breathy moan of pleasure falling heavy against my tongue as I entered her once more. I bit my lip and suppressed a whimper in the back of my throat as she clung to me, my cock filling her unhurriedly until her soaked heat encompassed every inch of me. "Come back to me, Bella. Don't let it take you. We need to do this together, love…remember? We need to save _each other_."

She pressed her chest to mine and I allowed her to push me backwards until I was sitting on my heels, my cock never leaving her warm resplendence as she wrapped herself completely around my body. "I'm sorry," she whispered, our lips touching and refusing to part as she rocked on top of me in heavy, thick gyrations.

"Don't ever…" My face contorted as her tongue slid into my mouth, tasting the texture of my teeth, my tongue, my flesh.

She grabbed my head in her hands and pressed my lips to her neck, her hips quivering on top of me as she squeezed me inside of her. "I want you to take it," she breathed, the palm of her hand sliding down the back of my head and gripping my neck. "Consume us."

"I don't need your blood to be consumed in you, Bella. It's not why I love you…it's not what brings me to life."

"I know, baby," she whispered softly, a bead of sweat sliding from her temple and absorbing into my hair. I groaned as she kissed the wetness that seeped into me, and never had I felt more like her equal than in that moment. "I'll never forget this as long as I live…this is the beginning of our forever, right here. Five, ten, one hundred years from now, you won't have my blood on your tongue. Please take it now, Edward. Take it while you can and keep it with you for the rest of our days."

"Bella," I whimpered desperately, meeting her eyes and succumbing to the resolve I found there.

"Take it," she moaned.

I took deep steadying breaths, wrapping my arm around her back and hooking my hand around her shoulder until my fingers were massaging the delicate flesh of her neck.

My cock was throbbing, her hot juices covering me, my thighs, our bodies together…and I inhaled deeply. I took in the scent of our sex and her blood and our eternity and I had no doubt in my mind how right she truly was.

_We needed this._

I brushed my lips against hers, not kissing but reveling in the sensation of her warm, swollen lips rubbing against my cool mouth. "You give me everything," I murmured, my hips jerking into her out of reflex as her tight muscles milked my cock, bringing me dangerously close to climax.

"You _are_ everything," she sighed breathlessly, rubbing her thumb along my chin and pulling until my lips were pressed against her pulsing neck. "Put my life in you, Edward. Let me see the color of our love in your eyes."

I shuddered at her words, at the liquid traveling hurriedly through the succulent veins in her body. I kissed her, holding my lips to her bite mark and letting the gentle humming of her blood throb against me. I brushed my tongue against her skin, tasting salt and the sweet flavor of my purpose, my light…

And with my words of love whispered heavily between us, and the passion of a thousand lifetimes in my heart, I sunk my teeth slowly and reverently into my love's skin.

Our bodies lurched together in sporadic jerks and shudders, the fervor of our sudden orgasm lighting fire beneath my flesh until we were a quivering mass of limbs lying amongst tangled, wet sheets. I came so viciously it pained me, the feeling of her giving me a combination of pain and pleasure only furthering the intensity of my release.

I never removed my teeth from her body.

She was uninhibited as she fell victim to our unforgiving climax, her face contorting and her breathing halted as the most powerful orgasm we'd ever given each other slithered through our veins and wracked our already emotionally-weakened bodies.

Her screams were tortured and encompassing as she lost control of her limbs, her arms and legs slack around me as I held her to my chest, drinking sweet crimson from her body and greedily swallowing every drop she offered me. Her silent pleas for more reached me in quivering whimpers, her eyes clasped as she fought with her disobeying muscles to hold me tighter.

I groaned at the splendor of our still connected bodies, the wet sound of our skin when we pushed together with shallow strokes, the feel of our fluids combining as we came together in far too many life-altering ways to describe. As her rich flavor coated my tongue and her warm juices covered my body, I shut my eyes and let it take me over.

Because this moment would define me as not only a man, but as the beast within. It would be with me evermore…until life was over and everything ceased to exist. It would remain in my soul, just as Bella would forever be.

And for the first time in my many decades on this earth, I truly knew what it felt like to love, and to be loved in return.

**

The moonlight shining in through my open curtains gave the room a mystical ambiance, illuminating Bella's body in the most beautiful glow. Our storm had since past, leaving us with the quiet of the night and the lingering scent of its downpour. I lost myself in the shimmer of her skin amidst the white light, wet and exhausted from the hours we couldn't tear away from each other.

We still couldn't.

Somehow we came up for air long enough to retrieve a text from Alice, saying that she took care of Charlie, and to enjoy our night together. And that she loved us.

My chest constricted when Bella stole the phone from my hands and wrote, _We love you too. You're the best sister ever ;)_

Alice wrote back with a simple, _thank you Bella_, but I could almost hear the adoration in her melodic voice.

Everything was so unbelievably _good._

Her thigh was splayed across my hip, the calf of her other leg held securely between mine. My hand held her hip against my abdomen, the other wrapped around her shoulders as her head rested on my collarbone. We were tangled…like an intricate puzzle that no one in their right minds would break apart.

It was quiet…so quiet as I gazed down at my beautiful girl and memorized her skin and her breathing and her rhythmically beating heart. With a sigh, she shifted in my arms, moving slightly up my body until our noses were pressed together, her fingers gently stroking my jaw.

I couldn't help but kiss her perfectly swollen lips, nor could I stop myself from tasting her re-opened bite. She hummed as I explored her, my hands gently kneading her skin as I fed my addiction once more.

When I finally had the strength to break myself away, I was met with her hazy eyes, filled with so much love and satisfaction that her vision had to have been altered with its immensity. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out, her words catching with every breath of mine splayed across her cheek.

I pulled her closer and kissed her until her hesitant eyes met mine. "Anything…" I whispered gently.

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as her eyes fell to my mouth. I lifted her chin and brought her gaze back to mine, urging her to ask me whatever she needed to know. "How do you think it will happen?" she breathed.

I smiled warmly, letting my fingertips travel along her delicate face. "I haven't talked to Carlisle yet," I murmured, watching her eyes carefully. "But I was thinking the most logical way would be for me to inject you with his venom with a hypodermic needle. It's the closest thing I can offer to changing you myself, love. What do you think?"

She smiled and kissed my bottom lip so gently I could barely feel it. "Can we be together before you do it?"

I groaned and tightened my hold on her hip. "Of course, Bella."

"Will you put your teeth in me?" she breathed.

I swallowed thickly. "Yes…"

"Stay with me while I'm changing?"

"Bella," I sighed unevenly. "Where else would I go?"

She climbed on top of me hastily and pressed her forehead to mine, our breaths entering each other's mouth heavily as she searched my eyes. "That's all I want…I just want you."

"This belongs to us, beloved. This will be ours and no one else's. Carlisle will be in the vicinity in case something…doesn't go as planned, but he won't see you bare…he won't put his mouth on you. You're mine to see, mine to taste," I moaned as she laid down on my chest, her nipple brushing against mine as she shifted into her new position. I would never get enough of this girl.

"Ours," she whispered against my lips, her tongue sneaking out to taste mine and disappearing far too quickly. "When?"

I trailed my hand up and down her fragile spine. "When do you want it?" I whispered.

"Want what?" she smirked, reaching behind her and stroking my solid cock slowly.

I growled and lifted my hips, already missing the overwhelming sensation of her touch. "We'll never finish this discussion if you keep that up, beautiful girl."

She smiled sheepishly but released me from her grip, sliding her thumb inside her mouth to taste my pre-cum before folding her hands on my chest and leaning her chin on them. "I want it soon," she murmured softly.

"I was hoping you'd finish high school first."

Her mouth fell into a frown as she mulled over my words, finally shrugging in acquiescence. "That's doable," she smiled mischievously. I bit my lip and wrapped my arms farther around her. "Come on, vamp boy. I know you want to say it. 'So are you!'" she laughed, attempting to tickle my sides.

I chuckled and nuzzled the soft skin of her neck. "Already you know me so well."

Our eyes connected for a moment, her gaze heavy with significance as she assessed me. "I know you because you're a part of me."

All I could do was look into her eyes and let the fervor inside mine speak the words of veneration I could never properly express. My face fell when I suddenly realized how soon I'd have to inform Bella that her father could no longer stay in our life after her change. My fear of an existence without my human girl quickly escalated as my hands trembled against her back. "What is it?" she whispered.

I appraised her for a moment, knowing that withdrawing myself from her would benefit no one, especially us. "Truthfully? I'm terrified that once some aspects of vampirism are brought into the light, you won't want to give me your forever, Bella."

A look of anger and determination flashed through her chocolate eyes before she took my face in her hands. "I love you, Edward. I've loved you from the fucking second I laid eyes on you. Now that I know what we are, what we'll always be…well, there isn't anything you could tell me that would change my mind."

"Nothing?" I whispered.

She shook her head forcefully. "Even if you tell me I have to make out with Newton or only suck the blood out of rats for the rest of my life. Bring on the Newtons, baby. Bring on the rats."

I chuckled at her as her smile widened, kissing my lips. "I'll do anything for you, Edward. Anything to be with you. You must know that."

I kissed her deeply and buried my hands in her hair before breaking away breathlessly. "No Newtons, no rats—even though I believe they are one in the same." She giggled at me and I continued on a more serious note. "I love you, Bella. And I know how much you love me…I can feel it through every inch of my body, my mind, my heart. I just worry that this is too good to be true…that you'll disappear in front of me and my life will be over."

"Can you really fear that, after what we've gone through today…after everything we've given each other?" she whispered dejectedly, her voice filled with hurt at the prospect that I'd feel this way. I gathered my courage and sat us up until she was straddling my waist, struggling to convince myself that she wouldn't leave me, no matter the results of our union.

My hesitation twisted my stomach, the look of uncertainty in her eyes even furthering that pain. "Bella, when you wake up, it won't be just love and sex and companionship."

"I know that, Edward," She whispered, wrapping her fingers in the hair at the base of my neck. "I know it will be hard…but what's a handful of difficult moments when the result will be eternal bliss?"

I smiled softly. "Your bloodlust will rule you, love. It will be your number one priority, above anything. I've never experienced it personally, but through the thoughts of the others, it can be unbearable at times."

She scoffed and widened her eyes. "Okay, first of all, I don't care if I'm a vampire or a fucking rabid beast, nothing will be more important than you. I know what you'll say…that I couldn't possibly know. And you're right, Edward, I couldn't. But I won't surrender myself to that need…I only surrender myself to _you_. It's _not_ going to take me, I'll make damn sure of it."

I felt my legs begin to shake. "That's not the biggest concern I have, Bella. I know I'll be your priority…at least eventually."

She pressed her index finger against my furrowed brow. "Then why do you have this?" she murmured. "I hate seeing you upset, baby. It hurts me just as much as it hurts you."

I groaned and kissed her slowly, trying to ease the pain I would soon be causing her. "You can't be around humans for years, beloved. It will take you awhile to master your self-control. Your father--"

"--I can't see him until I get it reined in, I figured that much…I know I can't just waltz back into my old life."

I winced and held onto her like it would be the last time. "Once you're changed, beloved, once you're like us…there's no going back to your old life…_at all_."

She looked at me quizzically. "I realize that. Obviously I'd be leaving a lot behind. It's a small price to pay for what I'll be gaining in return."

"Bella," I groaned quietly, leaning forward to kiss her lips softly. "You won't be able to stay in contact with Charlie, love. Your appearance will change drastically, not to mention the bloodlust you'll be struggling to maintain. We can check on him, Bella, if that will ease the pain of letting him go, we can make sure he's doing all right from time to time without his knowledge. But at some point, you will be dead to him."

I watched her closely as my words invaded the love bubble we had procreated for ourselves. Her breathing quickened as she clasped her chest, the realization hitting her with each passing second. "I couldn't just…disappear. There would be too many questions," she murmured, shaking her head in confusion.

I nodded and pressed my lips to her forehead, my anxiety thrumming so rapidly in my chest it nearly felt like a terrified heartbeat. "The smoothest way to go about it would be for you to convince your father that you're attending college across the country. Slowly you'd wean off your phone calls with him until eventually your death would have to be faked."

She said nothing, the silence blaringly loud and excruciating against my flesh, my heart. I knew I needed to let her process this vast amount of information that was being thrown at her rather quickly.

I continued speaking, because the silence was more than I could take.

"No one can know what we are, Bella. I'm not questioning your father's integrity, but this secret is ours to keep. Absolutely no one can be aware of our true identity…even the ones we honor and love the most. It's not our decision to make, divulging who we are."

"Whose is it then?" her voice rose in distress and a sharp pang of pain shot straight through the center of my chest.

"Do you remember much of what I've told you about the Volturi?" I whispered despondently.

She nodded eagerly. "Yeah, vampire royalty or whatever…pretty much the lawmen you have to abide by."

I nodded and groaned until my forehead was against hers. "Their power is insurmountable…and they take no prisoners, love. One day you'll be their most revered confidante, the next you'll be destroyed by their hand and their fire. The number one rule we are required to abide by, first and foremost, is to protect our secret."

"That means that you shouldn't be with me." The anguish in her tone was palpable.

I shook my head vehemently. "It's not a matter of should or shouldn't…I am yours and that's the way it will always be. I'm putting all of us in danger by being with you, that's true, but there's no stopping this." I put my hand over her heart. "There's no denying what we've found in each other."

"Aren't you worried they'll find out about us? What kind of potential damage are we inflicting because of the way we feel about each other?" Her tone was heavy with guilt and doubt. It was unbearable.

I kissed her hand before pressing it against my cheek. "I have no doubt in my mind that they will find out about us, Bella. Only when they do, I expect you to already be one of us. There's little they can do after the fact."

"What if they find out sooner?" she whispered, her voice laced with terror.

"They won't, baby," I soothed, kissing her lips. "Aro's visits are like clockwork, and he's not due for years." I shrugged my shoulder. "He's fond of Carlisle…my father spent many decades with the Volturi before they took on more of a corrupt approach to their ruling. About every thirty years or so, Aro requests our presence in Italy. The pretense is that he'd like to catch up with his old friend and the family he created; the truth is that he's always been skeptical of our lifestyle, and in a way he holds it against us."

"Who's Aro?" she questioned.

"Aro is the mastermind of sorts, the leader. He's incredibly dangerous, Bella. His powers are somewhat like mine…only he must be touching you to read your mind. The vast difference is that once he sees your mind, he sees _everything_. Every thought, every emotion, every piece of your world…he takes it as his. He'll come one day, love. He'll meet my beautiful mate and he'll take your hand and he'll see our ignorance to his rule if we were to stay in contact with Charlie."

"What's the punishment?" she swallowed thickly, her face paling as she took in my somber expression.

"Don't make me say it, beloved," I groaned, pulling her closer. "Please just trust me when I say that we have to keep this as our own…there's simply no other way."

She clung to me as she worked through her thoughts, a range of emotions spreading across her glorious face. "Just give me a second," she whispered, her eyes clasped tightly as she pressed her chest to mine and lost herself inside of her rapidly working mind.

"Say it out loud, Bella. Let's work through it together."

Her voice was trembling and mumbled as she complied with my request. "My dad would lose me tragically, just like we lost my mother. He would be left alone, devastated by loss after loss and with no one there to comfort him. Somehow it never even occurred to me that I'd be done with him the moment I was changed. I knew I would look different, but I figured I could pass it off as an extreme make-over or some shit. So this is what it comes down to. The person I can't breathe without, or the father who has lost so much in his life already."

Her words were like a knife through my heart.

How could I ever put her in a position where she would have to make that kind of decision? I groaned in pure torment and buried my face in her hair. "I shouldn't ask you to make that choice, love. And if you change your mind, we can still have our forever…we would just be moving on quite a bit sooner than planned. I'll stay with you on earth and when your human life is no more, than I can assure you, I will not be far behind."

"No," she cried forcefully, pulling my hair until I met her watery gaze. "I don't want that. I want my life with you to be as equals, Edward…not with you following around an old, decrepit woman."

"I'd love you just the same, Bella!" I pleaded with her, holding her face in my hands and trying to make her understand.

"I know you would, Edward. But that's no life to live, baby. You just said Aro would destroy us if he found out you were fraternizing with a human," she argued.

I shook my head and stiffened my body defensively. "I'll take you somewhere…he'll never find us, Bella. We'll fall off the face of this earth together. He can't have you."

"I don't want to spend our life together in hiding, Edward. I don't want to watch the pain in your eyes as my skin wrinkles and my health fails—I can't let you watch me die. I still want this life with you, but I'm obviously going to have to process this, give myself time to come to terms with what I'm leaving behind, but I won't be contemplating a _choice_. There is _no _choice…I want you, I want our forever--no matter what."

"I don't want to be the one responsible for taking your father from you, Bella," I choked out, my eyes closing tightly at the fear that I was cheating her as a result of my selfishness.

She was quiet for a long time, slowly stroking my face as she gazed at me. After several minutes, she pushed me back until I was lying on the bed before she curled up on top of me, her voice low and calm as she spoke. "When I was thirteen, Jake and I went to see this old woman on the rez, I think it was his great aunt or something, but she was well into her nineties, and she was psychic, medium, empathic…you name it and she had the power. The second I walked through her door, I knew it was no bullshit. You could feel the power of the entire universe circling around her. The moment I walked in, her arms were around me and she was soothing me for the loss of my mother. There was no way for her to know, but for some reason, she just did.

"She told me that all the sadness in my heart was too binding for such a young girl. She told me that the second a spirit crosses over into the other realm, the grief we feel is so minor to them. She compared it to a toddler who breaks their favorite toy. While the world seems to be over because their most prized possession is no longer, we as adults know that this is just another milestone…just a miniscule burden to bear. We love them and feel badly for them, but in the end there's no need for sorrow. When the time comes, we'll all be enlightened."

I said nothing, just stared into the eyes of a woman that was far beyond her nearly eighteen years. She was brilliant.

She wiped her eyes and ran her hand soothingly through my hair. "So what I'm trying to say is, I'm going to be looking at my change as a step into the next realm. It will hurt him now, but in the grand scheme of things, he'll be all right. Both of us will be getting our heaven…I'm just taking mine early. I'd like to think that Charlie would be happy for me, finding everything I've ever wanted at such a young age."

"I love you," I whispered fervently, wrapping my arms around her until she was consumed in nothing but my touch.

"I love you," she breathed, her lips urgent and loving against mine. "Don't take this as your cross to bear, baby. You aren't making me do anything I don't want to. Quite the opposite actually."

I ran the back of my hand along her cheek. "I just want you to have everything, Bella. The idea of taking someone you love away from you…it kills me."

She pressed her lips to mine and looked at me thoughtfully. "What if you were told that you could have me for the rest of your existence, but you could never see Carlisle again?"

My response was immediate. "I'd be devastated, of course. I love every member of my immediate family…but you're _my_ family, Bella. That's not a choice for me to make—we either exist together or we're nothing apart."

She smiled triumphantly. "Do you see, Edward?"

I only nodded, because I could find no words to express how proud I was of my girl. Nothing about this situation was cut and dry, but she envisioned it the same as I did—we were together, and that's simply the way it was. There was no other option in this life or the next. "Are you okay?" I whispered.

She nodded and offered me a breathtaking smile. "Yes. I'm actually glad I know. Now I'll have time to appreciate my dad…to live my life with him to the fullest until I can't anymore."

"You're amazing," I whispered intently.

"I know that, vamp boy," she chuckled, sniffing the last of her tears. "What else do you have for me? I would say the worst is out of the way."

"Come here," I murmured quietly. "Get closer to me."

We were quiet as I held her back to my chest, rolling us on our sides as our hands gently explored each other in reverent strokes. I let out a quivering sigh as I ran my palm down her chest and over her belly button, leaning in to press my lips to her ear. "I can't give you babies, Bella."

"I don't want babies," she whispered firmly.

"You could always change your mind. I'm robbing you of that option."

She shook her head vehemently. "I don't have the mothering gene, Edward. If I had kids, I would only fuck them up…I don't want it."

I held my tongue and kissed her temple, praying that she wouldn't resent me one day for taking so much away from her.

"Stop thinking like that," she groaned, almost as if she were reading my mind. "How many more ways can I prove how much I love you? How much more do I have to say to convince you that you aren't taking anything from me? Edward, please give me some credit. I'm not a child. I know what I want, I know where I belong…and that's with you."

I shifted her body until she was facing me on her side, our faces inches apart as I stroked the length of her arm slowly. "I don't doubt your love, Bella. And I certainly don't doubt your ability to make a sound decision, especially when it comes to our future. But think of my position, beloved. I'm sacrificing nothing to be with you, and I'm stripping you of everything you know. Can you understand why it torments me?"

"I can," she whispered. "But imagine growing up your entire life and not fitting in anywhere. Looking around at faceless person after faceless person and knowing that this isn't the life you're meant to have. I love my father, but you're my _life_. Other than my dad and the babies I don't want, what are you taking from me?"

I didn't have a response.

"Exactly," she grinned victoriously. "Think of all the things you're giving me."

"Tell me."

She scoffed in disbelief. "Where do I begin? Love, companionship, belonging, forever with you, an amazing family, a life I fit into, _completion_…is that enough or should I keep going?"

I smiled at her crookedly; she was so adorable when she was trying to make a point. "No, I've got the gist."

"Good, so are you done going all _dramatic _on me? Remember last week when I told you that vamp and emo were an unappealing combination? You must not have listened to me. Really Edward, if I've got the next million years with you by my side, you need to learn how to listen!" She grabbed my ear exaggeratedly and squealed as I tickled her sides, our laughter ringing out like a gentle harmony against the walls of my room.

Her giggles turned into a heavy bout of yawning, her little arms stretching above our heads before wrapping around my neck. "You wore me out, vamp boy," she whispered.

I hummed against her lips, my smile wide as I caressed my human girl. I still felt an immeasurable amount of guilt for taking away the human components of her life, but I couldn't deny the points she had made, or the fact that our wants and needs were one in the same.

For now, I'd leave it alone…lose myself in our newfound love and remember all that we'd be gaining in the wake of the life she left behind. I had to hold onto this.

"Why don't you rest, my beautiful girl?" I whispered, running my fingers leisurely through her hair.

"Mmmm," she moaned, burying her face in my chest. "But I want more."

I smiled and rested my head on top of hers. "I'll give you more, Bella. Just rest your eyes and when you wake up, I'll be inside of you…I'll be loving you."

Her heartbeat was already thrumming calm and steady against my chest, her arms draped around me loosely as she hummed quietly in the back of her throat. "I'm holding you to that…all I ever want is you inside of me," she mumbled almost incoherently as she drifted off in my arms. "I love you, Edward. My heart aches, I love you so much."

My arms trembled around her…my throat constricting in emotion as I worshipped the sleeping girl in my arms. I closed my eyes and felt her body on mine, one simple phrase falling from my lips until I knew she could no longer hear me.

"I'm yours, Bella…I love you."

***

Several hours later I found myself sprawled out across my bedspread, my head rested beside Bella's feet as I gazed at her sleeping form. Oftentimes throughout the night I'd do this…lay my head at different levels of her body and memorize the skin, the touch, the gentle movements that came along with her slumber.

I ran my fingers slowly up and down the inner side of her legs, losing myself in coherent dreams of my future with Bella and the whirlwind of emotions that brought us to where we were at this exact moment in time.

I wondered what it would be like not to wait for her to wake, to have her conscious and with me every quiet moment like this. What a miracle that would be for me…for us. Several times she had told me she hated falling asleep when she knew I was waiting for her. She never wanted to descend into unconsciousness again and that was a wish I would be granting her as soon as her schooling was complete.

I knew there was much left to be discussed. I knew that we could go no further in our planning without talking to Carlisle and the rest of my family. But it was important for us to unify our decisions regarding her change so when it came time to discuss them with my father, there would be no waver in our case.

I didn't want to think that Carlisle wouldn't be supportive, but I saw the position we were putting him in. He had never changed anyone unless they were dying, and I was asking him to do exactly that. Asking him to break the Quileute treaty and leave a town we had just relocated to…but in my recently awakened heart, I knew he'd do it for me…for Bella and I. I knew he'd recognize the power of our connection and just how desperately we needed to be together.

With a sigh, I kissed the heel of her foot before placing one more on her ankle.

How entirely I loved this girl.

I was nearly thinking of waking her, my selfishness fighting against the need to let her sleep. I crawled up the bed until we were face to face once more, her tangled sex-hair forming a wild mess around her angelic face. I smiled and kissed her forehead, arguing with myself to let her be until I heard my cell phone sounding from an unknown location inside my room.

I sprung up immediately, not wanting it to wake her—even though I had been contemplating doing exactly that. I picked my jeans up off the floor and shook them until my phone fell from the pocket, smiling as Alice's name lit up the screen.

"I _would_ chastise you for interrupting a very intimate moment, but you're psychic, and you'd know I was lying," I chuckled, my smile wide as I gazed back at the sleeping girl wrapped up in my bed.

Nothing but silence was waiting for me on the other end of the line, and my stomach plummeted. "Alice?"

"He's coming," she whispered brokenly. "I didn't see him until now…just now and he's so close…he'll be there any second, Edward. You need to cover her."

I had no idea what the fuck was going on, but couldn't ignore the panic rising in my chest. "Alice, who is here?" I growled frantically, pinching the bridge of my nose in frustration.

She gasped and I heard her rings slap against the plastic of the phone as her grip tightened. "He's the one you were with the night you…the night you killed her. Oh God…call the wolves, Edward. We won't get there soon enough, we're running but we won't make it in time."

"Time for what? James? It's James? He's never been a threat to me, Alice." I cursed loudly and flew to Bella's side, throwing my t-shirt over her head and snatching my boxers off the floor and sliding them up her legs.

"He is!" she yelled. "He's a threat to _her_! Your room reeks of blood and sex, Edward! This is a game to him…he's a malicious creature, and there's something more he's holding against you but I just can't fucking see!" I fell to my knees at Bella's bedside; hearing my normally confident sister so unsure of herself caused my chest to tighten in anxiety.

"Alice, _please_," I groaned, running my hand up and down Bella's back and kissing the silk of her hair. "If he goes near her I'll fucking rip him apart. I'll destroy him! Why are you so upset, what are you seeing?"

"No…you're faster, but he's stronger than you. He's…no, he's…shit!" The shudder of her voice chilled me straight to the bone. "Edward, he's going to want her like you have her. Blood and sex…it's his fascination. He'll smell her blood, and her beauty will arouse him to the point of _obsession_. You must call Jacob…there's no time!"

In a split second I dove in front of the door, rummaging through Bella's shredded clothing until her phone fell from her pants with a soft thump to the floor. I pressed send with a shaking hand, frantically pulling on my jeans and waiting for a response to the most important call of my existence.

I froze in horror the second I caught the scent belonging to the vampire of my past, and groaned in a desperate cry for help a moment later when I heard Jake's voice on the other end of the line.

I felt the urge to retch as James smirked at me from my window sill, his eyes darting to Bella's slumbering form before he raised his eyebrows at me appreciatively. He was so much more unkempt than the last time I'd seen him. His clothes were soiled and ripped, his bare feet caked with filth as he desecrated our space with his malice.

His posture was relaxed as he leaned against the frame of the window, but he was exuding malevolence from every pore of his body. The constant flexing of the muscles in his arms as he crossed them over his chest, the coldness of his eyes as he stared back at me with a sinister smile. And although his thoughts were filled with amity, the vibrant flashes of Bella crying, Bella tied up, Bella _dying_ were enough to make me choke in pure revulsion.

I struggled to listen as Jacob repeated a carefree 'hello' before the silence on my end overtook his natural sense of danger. I could almost hear the mechanics of his brain putting two and two together. Jacob slammed the phone shut in an instant and James chuckled, thinking that my attempt to attain back up was deflected.

Only I knew better.

It didn't soothe the blinding fear in my heart for a second…because the truth still remained.

I had no reinforcement to back me.

No visions from Alice to guide me.

My love was inches from the sadistic vampire who was ravenous for the scent of her blood with the combination of her sex.

_And I was across the fucking room from her._

I had never felt so helpless in all my life…and very suddenly I knew the meaning of true fear, the perpetual agony of not being able to defend my girl from evil itself in the safe haven of my room.

I was irrevocably and devastatingly powerless to protect the only thing I'd ever loved.

I was drowning in my own personal hell while my angel on earth slumbered amongst her demons.

And I had never been more alone.

*

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**Oh boy.**

**It's always something isn't it?**

**You won't have to wait so long for the next chap, pinkie swear. In the meantime, why don't you head on down to the LB thread and we can discuss some hypothetical situations of just what James is doing there? Or we could totally slumber-party it out, too. Pillow fights, braiding hair…Bitey's even got a new pair of footie pajamas, but he won't wear them unless he's had one too many mojitos…we'll see if we can liquor our boy up. Anyway, stop by, we'll have lots of fun one way or another. Linkage: ****http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=7529**

**I'm on twitter: Brits23**

**And Laid Bare can also be found on Twilighted, in case anyone was interested in that piece of information.**

**All right, until next time. Please leave me a review? I'm dying to know what you thought of B and E's admissions, as well as your theories on our bad vamp…let me hear it! Review! :) **


	14. Nowhere to Run

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Story rated M for underage drinking, smoking, brief drug use and overall bad behavior. Also rated for occasionally dark themes, lemons, and hot, steamy, angsty vampire lovin'. Not a fan? Then this may not be the story for you. Canon pairing, pretty much OOC, ExB of course…are you still down?**

**Hello, my ladies!**

**We're just going to move right along with this and talk down below.**

**Note: This chapter contains dark subject matter and flashbacks to situations involving varying degrees of abuse—however the "R" word has no place in this story, rest assured. If reading about a sadistic and twisted vampire will traumatize you in any way, shape, or form, please refrain from going forward with this chapter. You have been warned.**

* * *

***EPOV***

He watched her with hungry, piercing red eyes.

He didn't speak to me and his gaze never left her sleeping body, never paid me another glance as he violated her with disgusting mental images.

_His tongue on her skin._

_Her hands tearing at his pants._

_His fist pulling her hair viciously._

_Her mouth wrapped around his…_

No.

It was choking me, the pain of watching the twisted scene play out in front of me like the most perverse of horror films. Only this was reality, a reality where her life, and in turn my life, was quite literally flashing before my eyes.

_God, what if he touched her?_

"James."

My voice was flimsy in the quiet of the room, but make no mistake, I had enough force in my body to destroy him, to rip him into scraps and burn him with a fire so hot, ashes wouldn't even be left in his wake.

He didn't turn at the sound of my voice, the tips of his fingers moving back and forth inches above her long hair as he stood beside the bed. He bit his lip, taking a step closer to my human girl. My chest was vibrating with a low, unwavering rumble, my natural instincts threatening to take over and pulverize him where he stood.

Even with my menacing snarls, he didn't acknowledge my presence.

My mind rapidly calculated the distance between us versus my speed; there was no fucking way I'd make it to her in time, he was just too close. Could I really risk a supernatural battle with my love this near? And if I charged him, who's to say he wouldn't try to hurt her?

Every scenario I played in my head ended in complete and utter devastation.

And to make matters worse, she was stirring. The night was quickly giving way to morning, and I knew it wouldn't be long before she was aware of the hell taking place around us. She never slept more than a few hours before she was awake again, kissing me sleepily and attempting to evade the slumber that kept us apart.

It began with the squeeze of her pillow, her little arms wrapping around the fabric as she murmured my name. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. It was almost obscene how gorgeous she looked in that moment. Tousled hair from hours of sex, her curvaceous body wrapped in my clothing and our scent, pink lips swollen from my mouth on hers, a satisfied little smirk curving her features as she slumbered.

She was a vision to behold as her body glowed in the moonlight. Even I, who spent the entirety of my days admiring her beauty could barely breathe in her presence. It was sick that he was here, taking in her magnificence and polluting the private moment that fucking belonged to _us._

"I don't understand why you're here," I said firmly, my eyes blackening by the second as he stared at the girl who belonged to me like she was something to eat.

He still didn't respond to my voice.

But the moment I threw caution to the wind and made a mad dash to Bella's side, he put one hand out and pressed it against my chest, his head swinging to the side and his nostrils flaring as he grinned at me sardonically. "Edward. It's great to see you again, man."

I scoffed and curled my fingers around Bella's thigh as I stood next to the bedside; the frenzied run I'd made earlier had given me the opportunity to at least be able to touch her. "Why would you barge into my bedroom in the middle of the night when we haven't seen each other in over thirty years?"

He chuckled as his eyes fell upon my hold on Bella. "Is it a crime to want to reminisce with my old friend?"

"We met once. And you certainly could have tried the front door." My voice was rough, my eyes cold as he continued to gaze at my hand on Bella's body.

"Forgive me, Edward," he smiled coolly. "I surely would have used the front door…until I reached your property. Your plaything here had my mouth watering worse than an all-you-can-eat human buffet. She's tantalizing, Edward. How do you stand it?"

Bella called for me in her sleep once more and my entire body stilled.

James laughed boisterously. "Damn, you certainly have her trained, don't you?"

"She's not a dog," I growled.

"Hmm, not at all," he murmured suggestively, letting his eyes move along Bella's sleeping form. "On the contrary, she's stunning."

"Why are you here?" My resolve was slipping.

"Like I said, I was passing through the area and thought I'd say hello."

"And how would you have known where I lived?" I ran my fingers hastily through my hair and growled viciously the moment he imagined fucking Bella roughly against the wall.

His laugh was obnoxious as he observed my rage. "Ah, that's right. Mind reading isn't it? Along with a psychic sister and an empathic brother…you all could travel the world as your own carnival freak show."

It suddenly occurred to me why Alice couldn't see him and also why I was getting nothing but short glimpses into his thought process. He knew what he was up against. All those years ago, I informed him of my power, as well as my sibling's. We discussed it in small talk in that shady bar, never thinking that he would one day attempt to use it against me.

My smile was menacing. "Just your luck, the rest of the freaks will be joining us any minute."

"Come now, Edward. It isn't polite to lie to your guest. Besides, crossing paths with you is quite the coincidence, although I figured we'd meet again, all things considered. But finding you now, here with this decadent creature…well I'd have to say it was fate, wouldn't you? Can you really fault me for my fantasies? I mean, look at her."

"She is mine in _every _sense of the word," I snarled deeply, my fists clenching in anger.

"Ooh…is that a challenge, Edward?" He mocked me.

I shook my head once. "Simple fact. I've never done anything to you to deserve such disrespect. If you've come to catch up with me, then you should have done it in a far more appropriate manner. I demand that you explain the reason for this intrusion."

James held his hands up, palms out. "Point taken, my friend. You're right, this was out of line, but she sucked me in. You must know what that feels like. The redhead in the alley, this dark-haired beauty slumbering in your bed…can't you relate to being intoxicated by a woman and the blood running through her veins?"

I clenched my jaw, because it pained me to think for a second that he was right—but I _could_ relate to him. "The red-haired girl is nothing to me, and this girl…is _everything_. I understand your draw towards her, obviously, but she is _mine_. Admire her if you must, but you'll do it from afar, do you understand me?"

He chuckled and gripped the back of his neck. "Loud and clear. So would you like to hear how I stumbled upon your whereabouts?"

I was completely immobilized in that moment, my basic instincts torn right down the middle as I contemplated how to answer his question. I wanted him away from her…I wanted as much distance as possible between this untrustworthy bastard and the girl who defined me—but that meant I'd have to leave her side as well.

What was the right thing to do?

Should I request that we go outside to talk, distancing myself from Bella and risking her safety with our separation?

Should we remain in the room where he can still see her and smell her and fantasize about her?

I had no idea which choice would be the right one.

James was smirking contemptuously, as if he could sense my internal battle. Either circumstance would be putting Bella in danger, but when it came down to it, I needed my girl in the safety of my embrace.

I sat down next to her on the bed, a sigh of relief escaping me as I wrapped an arm around her body. Everything would be all right now, because I had her…

_I had her. _

"Go on." I motioned for him to have a seat on the couch across the room, feeling incredibly lighter as the distance between James and Bella grew. I ran my hand up and down her arm, my eyes closing briefly at her warm, soft skin and how safe she was under my hand.

Things could have gone so horribly wrong but somehow, the situation became quickly controlled. If I could distract James long enough with discussion, the wolves and my family would be arriving and all would be well. I smiled as I ran my fingers through her hair.

James watched the way I touched her very carefully, but made no further comment on my actions. "Several days ago my travel companions and I were making our way across the Pacific Northwest. We were trekking along the coast one night when we encountered a group of Native American boys in the middle of the forest, deep in conversation."

I swallowed thickly, now knowing for a fact that it was a member of James's party that the Quileutes had killed. He gauged my reaction, but continued in the next instance. "They were rambling on about alphas, betas, leading, flanking and things of the like. Such strange discussions for teenagers to have in the middle of the night. We stopped to listen out of pure curiosity, and imagine my surprise when one of them mentioned 'the bloodsucker, Edward Cullen'."

I stared at him blankly and he chuckled as he continued. "My jaw nearly hit the floor when one of them complained about Edward Cullen dating a friend of theirs…a human girl. What a shock!"

"It wasn't premeditated," I murmured, my eyes drifting along the curve of her cheek.

"Yes, well, to make a long story short, I sent my companion Laurent closer to get a better listen and before I knew it, the boys were beasts and they were ripping him to shreds. I took my other acquaintance and fled the area immediately."

I nodded and tried to act unaffected. "Shape-shifters."

"They weren't fond of you," he smirked.

"We've got a common interest," I mused, watching Bella mumble in her sleep before turning to face our unwelcomed guest. "Why are you here, James? I don't understand your motives. I do understand that you're taken by her blood, but before that, why were you so curious about my life?"

"We're more connected than you think, Edward." The icy chill of his voice was alarming, but I held my ground as he continued. "When I found out that you were with a human, my curiosity was immediately piqued. The withdrawn vampire who shied away from experiencing sex and harming humans was attempting to _date_ one? I had to see this for myself and yet, I still don't understand it."

"She's different," I murmured.

"Don't you hurt her?"

I shook my head vehemently. "Not at all."

"How is that even possible, Edward?" James asked incredulously.

"She's too important to harm. I have to watch every move I make but it's worth it…she's worth it." I lost myself in her as I rambled on, suddenly realizing that I was divulging information to someone that had no right to know anything about Bella or I. "Look, it's late. Why don't you stop by the house tomorrow, if you'd like."

He chuckled and stood from the couch, my body leaning back against Bella's protectively. "Leave now? When I haven't even told you the real kicker? No, I think I'll stick around awhile longer. Why don't you tell me more about her?" he smirked as he stood in front of me, his eyes falling to Bella's face.

"She's none of your concern," I growled, tightening my hold around her waist. "You've overstayed your welcome, James. Consider us caught up…now go."

He laughed loudly. "I don't really like being told what to do, Edward. Do you know what I _do_ like? I like the sight of your girl all pink and freshly fucked. I like the little moans she makes in her sleep and how tight her body looks beneath your clothing."

My chest was rumbling viciously, the mood changing so suddenly that I could almost _feel _the atmosphere shift from neutrality to poignant animosity. Rage boiled inside my veins, threatening to explode from me in violent tremors as I stared him down. "You need to leave, right fucking now."

"Or what? You'll kick my ass? I'd certainly like to see you try." He crossed his arms over his chest and inhaled heavily. "Jesus Christ, she's sweet. I can taste that rich blood and hot pussy in the air, it's so thick. I bet it's euphoric, burying yourself inside that tight little cunt."

I snapped.

The second those tainted words fell from his lips, I had him pinned against the wall. The loud crack sounded out in the stillness of the night, drywall splintering and falling to the ground as our ferocious snarls filled the room. Moments later I heard Bella gasp in shock as she sat straight up from bed.

I turned to look at her.

Some would call it a moment of weakness, and maybe in the end it was a mistake to remove my focus from him. But it was Bella…she was my center of gravity. My attention was pulled to her instantaneously; it was simply out of my control. She was frightened and she was the only thing that mattered to me in this world, so why wouldn't I turn to look at my reason for life?

She was clearly shocked but held eerily still, our eyes having an immeasurably deep conversation until I was suddenly being thrown across the room from one kick to the stomach. My back crashed against the opposite wall with ear-piercing destruction, and everything became shrouded in unforgiving darkness the moment he slid behind Bella and held her to his chest with one strong hand.

She cried my name…

I was powerless, defeated…_destroyed._

One moment I was in complete control of the situation, the next, it was gone.

Everything was gone.

If I came to her side, he'd crush her. If I stayed in place, he'd be free to violate her as he pleased. If my family or the wolves arrived, it wouldn't make a bit of difference…because nothing we could do would save her.

He held the power of my entire universe in his hands and we were nothing but pawns in his sick and twisted game of supremacy.

I watched her so closely; nothing else existed in the room but us. It was just her brown eyes, afraid and confused. Her bottom lip, determined not to tremble. Her little hand, gripping the pale, filthy arm that immobilized her. And her heart…her frantic heart that beat a solemn, haunting rhythm straight into my core. The sorrow was palpable between us, our pleading eyes succumbing to the harsh realities we were forced to face. We had finally figured out how we felt and what we needed in this world to survive, only to have everything ripped away from us before it even began.

But I wasn't giving up on us.

I was off the ground in an instant, the need to have her safe in my arms again fueling my velocity, but he was quicker. I froze in horror the moment his hand wrapped around her delicate throat, pulling until the back of her head was laying flat against his shoulder. I was mere feet in front of them and my entire body trembled from being so close, yet so far away from protecting my human girl. "Don't fucking move," James spat.

Bella whimpered softly, my hand reaching out to her almost subconsciously. The only prayer I had left in this world was resting on one adolescent shape-shifter, but even then, what could he do to rid us of this situation? My stomach heaved as James began stroking Bella's chin slowly. "Well good morning, sweet thing," he crooned, his lips pressing against her ear languidly. "Sorry to wake you so suddenly. You really should tell your vampire here that it's rather rude to throw his guests up against the fucking wall."

"I'm sure you deserved it, asshole," Bella's voice strained against the grip he had on her throat.

He chuckled and turned his attention towards me. "She's a feisty one, isn't she, Edward? It's taking all my effort to hold her loosely. How do you manage not to crush her, especially when she's on your dick?"

His hand slid around her neck, his fingers creeping stealthily beneath her hair until he gasped in surprise.

I already knew what he had found. His eyes danced in amusement as they met mine.

James had found her bite mark.

"Fuck!" I growled, my fists clenching in the need to tear my Bella from his arms and end this fucker once and for all.

He turned to me with raised eyebrows. "Well…what do we have here? Either you are handling your transformation very well, or Edward's all dried up," he sang playfully.

A feral growl tore from my chest as I took a step closer, causing his lip to curl. "One more step and she's sliding down my throat, do you understand me?" he murmured darkly. "Now tell me how you're able to drink from her."

"I'm not telling you a Goddamn thing." My threatening growl quickly turned into a tormented groan as his tongue slid down the side of her face.

"I'm pretty fucking sure you will," he countered.

My rage nearly exploded in the confines of my room…but one angelic voice of reason immediately halted it in its place. Bella was smiling at me…fucking _smiling_ at me with breathtaking adoration moments after his tongue was on her skin. "It's okay, Edward," she whispered, a single tear rolling down her cheek as she recognized how close I was to losing control. "He'll crush me if you try…I'm okay, just breathe, baby."

A strangled cry broke from my chest, the pain reaching excruciating levels because this was fucking torture. My love trapped against my newfound enemy, scared and unknowing but she was smiling for _me_…fighting _my _battle of restraint as this horrifying experience threatened to destroy us.

It was more than I could take.

"My venom is sterile." my voice was weak as I looked around wearily, my arms falling to my sides loosely in defeat. "I can't change her."

James chuckled. "Wow, you _are_ pathetic aren't you, Edward? Well luckily for you, I'm more than happy to give her some of my _fluid_. What do you think, sweet thing. Want my teeth in your body?"

"Fuck you!" Bella spat in his face and his eyes darkened in anger.

"Bella, don't provoke him," I pleaded with her before turning to meet his hostile gaze. "You will _not_ fucking hurt her," I growled desperately. "Tear me apart, burn me until I'm nothing…but don't you _dare_ harm her."

"Edward—" Bella's expression was frantic as she began to protest my words, but his tightened fingers around her throat quickly silenced her cries. He smiled mockingly at her and wiped his face with the back of his hand. "What's that_? _You want me to _fuck you_, sweet thing? Well we can certainly arrange that, but for right now I suggest you stop being an ungrateful little bitch and keep your mouth shut while the vampires talk."

He lowered himself to her ear and I nearly fell to the ground when his tongue pressed against her jaw once more. "And then if you still want me to fuck you, we'll make sure Eddie over there has a front row seat," he whispered in a nauseating tone.

Bella's eyes flashed with an intense fire. "Gee, I'm sorry. I seem to have left my magnifying glass and tweezers at home, so there's really no chance of me ever finding your pitiable excuse for a penis. Now I suggest you fucking let me go and get over your little power trip. We've done nothing to deserve this shit," Bella seethed, reaching one hand out towards me as she rolled her eyes at him.

My heart lurched…her rebellious attitude would only worsen this situation, no matter how much I loved her for it.

I held my hand out and our fingertips touched briefly before he pulled her arm down, snarling in her ear. She winced as his grip tightened, my mind reeling to figure out what to do. I was humming with electricity from the touch of her hand, and it made my desperation for her escalate to the point of extreme anxiety. "Bella," I smiled through my agony, shaking my head slightly. "He's not worth it, love. Save that smart mouth for me."

Her face was turning red from the pain his hold was inflicting upon her…it was obvious she was trying to conceal it from me but I knew her body better than my own. She smiled and chuckled shortly as two more tears slid down her cheeks and seeped into the fabric of my t-shirt covering her body. "I love you," she breathed.

James rolled his eyes and groaned exaggeratedly. "That's quite enough…all this _love_ shit is going to make me lose my hard-on…which we don't want, do we, sweet thing?"

I growled viciously and punched the drywall until only a massive hole remained, my resolve quickly diminishing as I stared James down. "Don't even _think_ about touching her, you sick son of a bitch! Quit playing these fucking games and tell me what the hell this is about!"

He smiled scathingly. "But don't you already know?"

A flash of red flowing hair flitted through his mind, and I suddenly knew that this had everything to do with the girl I murdered. "What about her?" I growled.

James chuckled and moved Bella's chin in my direction. "Watch, Bella. Watch your mate fall apart in front of you. Too bad there's no popcorn…that's what humans consume during a show, is it not?"

My eyes widened as his mind opened up to me completely. I heard Bella calling my name in the distance, but all I could focus on was his memories.

_He was on the roof of a nearby building, watching as the girl fell to her knees in front of me. I looked so naïve, shaking and scared at the prospect of a girl giving me pleasure. She put her mouth on me and my hips jerked. A moment later she was lying lifeless in the alley. _

My entire body tensed…because he knew.

The secret I was most eager to keep and desperate to forget. I swallowed thickly and watched his thoughts as they played out before me.

_Even from a distance I could see the terror in my eyes, the struggle within to do what was right or save myself and retreat. I was such a selfish creature. I watched through his eyes as I ran at lightning speed into the night, leaving her to die alone in the filth of the Chicago streets._

_He was above her then. Head cocked to the side as he observed her still form. Perky tits, he thought. Plump mouth. Long hair to grab. He leaned down and ran his fingers between her legs, pushing against the fabric of her jeans. Tight pussy, he determined. He fell to his knees and hovered above her, pressing his ear to her heart and registering a faint murmur. Still alive._

_He considered his options then. Fucking and draining was his forte, but could be monotonous at times. What would it be like to have an indestructible being to fuck…a body that could handle what he wanted to give them without shattering before he was through?_

_She was beautiful, he thought. The smell of her blood was beyond appealing to him…he had wanted her the entire night but let me have the quality product since I was new to his ways._

_A random act of kindness…and look what that young, ignorant vampire has done with his succulent dinner?_

_He heard drunken humans approaching and scooped the girl up from the ground, running to the nearby abandoned building that he had been occupying during his stay in the city._

_He growled wildly as he shredded the clothing from her body, running his hands along her pale skin and feeling her human delicacy for the last time. He sunk his teeth into her neck and drank greedily until her heart began thrumming out of control. Her eyes opened and looked blankly at the ceiling in horror, the flames beginning to lick every inch of her body as they consumed her._

_James laughed…_

…_his hand slid roughly across her stomach, pulling at her flesh and sliding lower…_

I couldn't bear to see another minute of this sickening iniquity.

"Stop!" I yelled, dropping to my knees hard enough to hear the floor crack beneath me.

Bella was hysterical as she called for me, James' laughter was mocking as he held her in place.

I couldn't think.

_Bella._

"Bella," I whimpered, looking up at my frantic human girl. "Don't cry…please don't."

She stopped immediately, her deep breaths shuddering as my eyes shut tightly. I could only assume that something so heartbreaking, so destitute in my expression made her realize that her sorrow would shatter me on top of this.

_On top of what I had done._

"You see her?" James tone was filled with amusement as he jovially observed my torment.

"Why?" I whispered, letting my eyes reopen slowly.

He sighed exasperatedly. "Oh why _not_, Edward? I'm a sexual being. You read minds and I _fuck_…what is there to explain?" He chuckled and leaned against my headboard, pulling Bella back further with him on the bed. "Well if you insist on an answer…I suppose it's the same reason why I'm in your room as we speak. I'm old, Edward, and I am bored out of my mind. Same faceless humans, same flavor of blood, day after day. Much like I came here tonight…I enjoy making things interesting. And why wouldn't I change her? Having a girl to fuck whenever I please without needing to convince them to leave with me, without the repetitiveness of introducing myself and playing nice before I have my way? I made Victoria mine because I fucking wanted to. What's not to understand?"

_Victoria._

He smirked as his thoughts filtrated into my mind.

_She woke up days later on the forest floor in the middle of nowhere, scared and disoriented as she took in her surroundings with new eyes, new senses, new life. He at least had the decency to dress her, buying a dingy old outfit at a consignment shop before transferring her into isolation. Her clothes didn't fit her and they were hideous, but at least they covered her._

_He sat in front of her and smiled darkly. "Good morning."_

_She began to panic and in the next moment she was some fifty feet away with her back against a tree. He ran to her and trapped her against his body. "You aren't stronger than me. I don't wish to hurt you but if you don't obey, I will. Calm yourself down."_

_It was a lie of course. She was strong enough to overpower him but she believed him…she didn't even try to determine whether he was telling the truth or not. I remembered that night in the bar, how little she thought of herself. It showed as she succumbed to James from the very start._

_He not so delicately explained that I had 'killed her with my dick' and that she owed James her life because he saved her. He gave her the rundown on what she was and the basics of what she needed to know. She recognized him from that night at the bar of course, and somehow she seemed to trust him. Maybe it was a defense mechanism. If you woke up to the only being who knew you existed, wouldn't you confide in them?_

_He insisted that she get down on her knees and thank him properly for saving her life. She did it without hesitation._

_It was sad to see._

_The next corrupted scene he played out for me made my stomach turn. He was fucking a human while Victoria watched, her eyes despondent as James took his prey. The girl he was fucking was writhing beneath him, obviously aroused by his animalistic nature and the fact that Victoria was watching._

_He then slammed into her viciously until her hips cracked…and proceeded to suck the blood from her throat. In the background, Victoria was licking her lips, eyes pitch black and her body frail as she shook in the vicinity of the girl's blood. By the look of her debilitated state and the dark rings around her eyes, it could have been months since she last fed._

"_Want a taste?" James smirked, lifting his head from his victim's throat._

_She nodded fervently and James motioned her over, holding the back of her neck and pushing her face against the victim's breast. "Suck it out of her tit…and show me how much you like it."_

_Victoria cried out in hunger as she took her meal the only way she was allowed, James pushing her hand between her __own__ legs as she drank. He sunk his teeth into the girl's neck and continued to pound her as she lay dying._

I couldn't take anymore.

"You abused her," I choked in disgust.

James scoffed. "I did nothing of the sort. She owed it to me…she would have been nothing if I hadn't breathed life into her. She recognizes the kindness I bestowed upon her and she knows it's her place to please me. She likes seeing me happy, by any means necessary."

James attempted to play a revolting sex scene for me in his mind but I quickly drowned it out. "Why do you keep her so malnourished?"

He smiled and tightened his arm around Bella's waist. Her eyes were burning into mine. "If I monitor her meals, I in turn monitor her strength…just in case she ever feels like becoming a bit rebellious. Why give her power when she was created to submit?"

I had never felt fear such as this. A being capable of so much hate and disgust…and my love was trapped in his embrace. _What would I do?_ "Bella, I love you…I love you, baby," I groaned, my eyes pleading with her to comprehend just how much as raw terror overtook my trembling body.

She was crying again. "I love you…don't give up on me."

Was I exuding that much defeat?

I shook my head at her. "Until our last breath," I murmured forcefully, turning to face James.

"You sit here with my girl in your arms, holding her against her will…you abuse someone for thirty fucking years and you act as though I should be _intimidated_ by you? You aren't a hero, James," I gritted through my teeth. "You're just a sick _fuck_ who gets off on harassing people that are weaker than you."

Anger flashed in his eyes. "You know what really gets me, Edward? Is how fucking highly you think of yourself. When are you going to realize what you are? You are a _vampire_. You kill, you feed on defenseless humans, you don't fall in love with them! _Oh, James is so sick, so demented_. It's bullshit! Victoria likes being treated like the whore she is. Ask her, and I guarantee you will receive no other answer."

"Because she has no other choice," I murmured angrily, searching Bella's face as he tightened his grip. "Being a vampire is no excuse for inflicting decades of hell upon another being."

"No," James chuckled, waggling his finger. "_You're_ the one who destined her to this so-called hell. _You're_ the one who fucked up, Edward. Let this be a lesson to you…let this show you that you aren't as high and mighty as you think you are. You're meant to be a killer, a cold-hearted predator…stop fucking acting like you're better than that."

"He _is_ better than that." Bella's voice was nothing but a whisper, her eyes straining to maintain contact with mine as the back of her head was still trapped against his shoulder.

James inhaled angrily. "Let me ask you a question, _Bella_, since you don't understand what it means to shut the fuck up. If you feel so strongly about him, don't you _want _to become one of us?"

"Don't answer him, love," I murmured.

"Oh, she'll fucking answer me," James growled, tightening his grip on her even further.

"Of course I do, and I'll be more than happy to tell you why," she murmured threateningly. "Reason number one, I'll be with him forever. And two, I'll be strong enough to kick the shit out of pansy-ass bitches like you."

I rose to my feet the moment he stood from the bed, his fist wrapped in her hair as he growled in aggravation. "Bella, stop," I demanded.

She was kneeling on the bed as he gripped her hair. "No, I don't fucking care, Edward. He can't do this to you…he can't break you!" she cried.

James exhaled heavily. "Oh, Edward, this is becoming so mortifying for you. First you pretend to be some sort of compassionate human, and now you have one tiny little girl fighting your battles. Let's end this now, there's no need for hostility."

"Let her go and this _will_ end," I growled darkly, my fists clenching and releasing in fury.

James put his palm to his chest. "Hey, I'm just trying to do you a favor, man. I mean, think about it. I change her for you, and you can stop pretending to be something you're not. I can assure you, Edward, coming to the dark side is much more fulfilling than attempting to toe the line of virtue, isn't that right sweet thing?" He tugged on Bella's hair until her head jerked backwards drastically.

"What do you say? You take one side of her neck, I'll take the other. It will be as if you're changing her yourself. And think about the windows of opportunity I'm opening up for you, Edward--two women at your beckon call. Sure, she'll be strong at first, but she's no match for you, me _and_ Victoria. Eventually she'll surrender. And if you still crave human, we can fuck and drain just like I taught you all those years ago. It's an ample life to live…you need to embrace it."

I didn't even have words for how sick this was becoming, his games of temptation doing nothing but fueling my rage. I needed my girl…and I needed to rip him to shreds.

James chuckled heartily. "I'll take your hesitation as a yes. Come on, _Bella_. I'll be more than happy to give you the gift of eternity, since your vampire here can't perform. And when you awake, I'm certain you will be more than happy to show your appreciation by wrapping those sweet lips around my cock."

Everything happened so suddenly.

James threw Bella roughly on his back by the grip on her upper arm, her sharp cry piercing my heart like a knife. I met her wide, tear-filled eyes as utter horror struck us both…and in an instant she disappeared out the window astride his back.

A strangled sob tore from my chest as I hurled myself forward, clumsily throwing myself into the open air in a desperate attempt to bring her back to me.

The sky was filled with piercing snarls and shattering glass as a giant wolf with russet hair slammed James through a second-story window the moment I was air bound.

Relief washed over my body.

Until I saw her falling.

In a frantic blur I was beneath her, catching her moments before she hit the ground…and I ran.

I ran and I sobbed in torment as I cradled her against my chest, the sounds of shredding metal ringing out loudly as six large werewolves destroyed the motherfucker who almost destroyed us.

Oh how I wanted to feel him tear beneath my fingers, to throw his filthy remains into a blazing inferno and watch, laugh, dance as he burned…until he was nothing but thick, vulgar smoke billowing in the air. I could taste it on my tongue--I needed his murder on my hands so desperately.

But nothing in this world compared to my need for Bella.

And she was falling apart.

She was frantic in my arms, clawing my skin and screaming my name and thrashing against me. She was crushing her body to mine, begging me to tell her that I was okay…that I loved her and that we were all right…

…_but all I could do was run._

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***BPOV***

I was dreaming of utter perfection.

Hard, pale skin pressed against mine. Plump lips stained from my blood. Gentle fingers entwining with mine. Forever in the deepest, most beautiful golden eyes…sprinkled crimson with my life.

The only thing better than dreaming about Heaven was opening my eyes and feeling it, smelling it, seeing it next to me.

Our day had started out playful and turned into the defining hours of our future. The switch had been flipped so suddenly. One moment I was coming from nothing but his smoldering words and the next…the next we were fucking changed _irrevocably_.

And he loved me.

_God, did he love me._

There was never any question that this was what we would become. He came to Forks because he was meant to find me. We submerged ourselves in each other the second we met because we immediately knew where we belonged. Destiny such as this knows no bounds of time…no logic, reason, or consequence.

Was it cruel of me to leave my father alone to be with the man I loved?

Maybe, but you can't change the color of the sky...or silence the raging winds. You can't stop your heart from loving, or attempt to deny the generous hands of fate.

I'd like to think that the love of a father and daughter could persevere despite the distance and time lost in the sake of something _more_. I'd like to think that Charlie would be supportive of my decision because of the happiness Edward brought me.

Maybe I'd never know if I would one day gain my father's approval…but I would always have hope.

_And Edward._

I couldn't easily comprehend the idea of having him with me each never-ending moment. Would it be long enough to quench the fervent hunger we had for one another that never seemed to lessen in its intensity?

I hoped not, because while it ached to be so ravenous every minute of the day, I _needed_ that burn…I needed to love my vampire forever.

And I had never been so fucking elated in my life, because now I knew that it could be no other way.

Everything threatened to disappear the moment I was awoken by the sudden crash against the wall to the left of me.

And then _he_ was on me.

All I could see was Edward. The pain in his expression…and the terror. My hope died with the defeat in his eyes, as if the sick fuck who captured me had won already.

I didn't even know what the hell was going on.

I wouldn't allow myself to feel his cold, slimy tongue on my cheek, or his hands on my stomach as they pushed to the point of unbearable pain.

I only saw Edward.

I only listened and fought to piece together a story from the past that the sick and twisted vampire behind me was internally forcing upon him.

It wasn't too hard to figure out…and I had no idea what it would do to him.

The girl Edward thought he murdered was alive, or undead, depending on how you looked at it. Changed into a subservient being that was created for sex and general amusement. Thirty years of not feeding properly and catering to the nauseating pervert who insistently kept pressing his miniscule dick against my ass.

I couldn't think about it.

And I refused to keep my fucking mouth shut. I was enraged. How dare he come into our life and do this to him? How dare he intrude on the night that changed us both in so many mind-blowing ways?

Edward wanted me to be quiet but I refused to submit…refused to bow down to this sick fucker who held me, because I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of my obedience.

My scalp stung when he yanked me from the mattress by my hair until I was kneeling on the bed.

And the burn was excruciating the moment he used his grip on my arm to throw me onto his back. But that kind of pain I could handle.

The pain in Edward's eyes…the realization on both of our faces that James was taking me, changing me, breaking us apart…that was worse than any superficial pain.

No, this pain was _everything._

It was difficult to grasp what had happened next. One minute I was trapped against his filthy bare back, the next I was falling through the air as a giant beast crashed into the large bay window of the Cullen home with my captor as his prey.

I was waiting to hit the cold earth, anxious to feel the break of my bones because that meant he wasn't touching me anymore. I cried out in pure relief the moment I landed in solid, familiar arms instead of the ground beneath me.

My relief was short lived as I clung to Edward frantically, the feel of his trembling body against mine making every disgusting grope from _him_ so terrifyingly real.

_His_ tongue on me.

_His_ hands on me.

Harsh words that crumbled my vampire.

Threats to tear us apart.

I felt it all simultaneously.

I didn't register the words as they left my lips, just cried and begged for Edward as he continued to bring us further away from the fucker who nearly got away with ending us.

Maybe we weren't as indestructible as I had once believed.

He finally stopped running once we reached a cliff overlooking tall trees as far as the eye could see. I had no idea where we were or how long we had been running, but none of it mattered.

I needed so much in that moment, I didn't know where to begin.

We fell to the ground in a heap, my legs curling around Edward's waist as we clung to each other desperately. He was whimpering my name so quietly beneath his breath…over and over he murmured it.

_Bella._

_Bella._

_Bella._

My tears were hot on my cheeks, my eyes burning as I grabbed his hair in my fists and pulled. My cry was agonized, my limbs shaking violently as he finally looked into my eyes.

Whatever he saw, it was enough to almost destroy the both of us.

"Oh _God_, Bella," he groaned in anguish, pulling me to his chest as I let the tears fall onto his bare shoulder.

"Get him off of me," I sobbed, curling my fingers against his back as he rocked me gently back and forth. "Get him off of me…"

Edward's hands were frantic as they ran all over my body, his touch literally wiping away the lingering filth _he_ left on my skin. He kissed me where James' tongue had been, his lips slow and reverent as he massaged my cheek until nothing remained but his touch.

He was cleansing me.

And before I even had to ask, the raspy words were already leaving his mouth. "Tell me how hard."

His arms began tightening around me gradually, testing out his force and giving me more until I had nothing left around me except his body and his love. "More," I whispered, feeling the sting of compression but needing his strength inside of me.

My chest pushed against Edward's in the struggle to expand with every inhaled breath. His hold was rigid, almost painful but it was secure and it felt so fucking good to know that he had me…

That we had each other.

"Right here," I breathed shakily, pushing my face into the crook of his neck and letting his tightened embrace breathe life back inside of me.

We sat like that for an immeasurable amount of time, just rocking back and forth as we fought to heal each other. The bruises that were left on my body were aching from Edward's grip, but it felt like pure relief to me. Because they were no longer James' bruises…they were Edward's.

When I looked in the mirror tomorrow, I would look at the marks on my skin and know they were put there because we loved each other _so fucking much._

The sob that rumbled from his chest could only be described as pure torture, and I was frantic to take the repugnance away just like he had done for me.

"Edward…" I whispered, kissing the crook of his neck as he pushed his forehead against my shoulder.

"You're cold," he choked.

I didn't even realize I was shivering from the brisk morning air and the coolness of his skin until he mentioned it. "I'm fine," I assured him.

"You're cold…you didn't eat tonight, you barely slept, I drank too much of your blood, _I let him fucking touch you_!"

He screamed his last words, the guilt and sadness releasing from him in flagrant waves as he shattered around me.

"No, baby," I murmured soothingly, running my fingers through his hair slowly. "Don't do this, please…"

"I couldn't protect you, Bella…"

"Don't," I begged, my voice turning into a sob as he belittled himself so eagerly. I turned my head to look at him and inside the darkness of our embrace, I could see his contorted, beautiful features. His pain was so naked, so blatant…so raw…

How would I ever begin to take that kind of sorrow away?

"Please don't leave me," he groaned. "Don't leave me once you've found out what I've done…"

He was so incredibly broken.

"I heard enough to know, and none of it matters, Edward. I'm not going anywhere…you know I'm not going anywhere." I pressed my lips against his shoulder to keep my teeth from chattering. The air was chilly as dawn broke, the thin material of his clothing, while comforting me to the bone, did nothing for my warmth.

"My past will come back to haunt us, Bella…you deserve better than this."

I groaned deeply. "Stop doing this," I demanded. "You know what we are…what we've found. Why wouldn't I deserve the person that was meant for me?"

"You are the most important thing to me in this world…and I don't care for you properly…I take you for granted when I should be thanking God for every breath from your lips. What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"You do take care of me," I murmured, running my fingers gently up and down his back. "Sometimes we just forget, baby. Sometimes there's no place for food or sleep when we love each other like we do."

His trembling lessened as he kissed my shoulder. "Stay with me," he murmured softly against my skin, his words almost too quiet for my human ears. "No matter what happens from here on out Bella, please don't give up on me."

"I love you," I whispered softly. "Until our last breath, remember?"

"I love you, Bella," he breathed, a shuddering gasp releasing from his lips as the tall grass rustled behind us.

I felt a small, cool hand on my back, knowing without a doubt it was Alice coming to our rescue. "Arms up, sweetie," she murmured.

Edward and I regretfully disentangled long enough for Alice to slip a sweatshirt over my head, her cold, soothing fingers running through my hair until it was smooth down my back.

I began sobbing the moment she pressed her forehead against our temples and let out a shuddering sigh.

"I'm so sorry," she cried, wrapping her arms around our necks. "I didn't see him soon enough…I should have been able to see him but I couldn't! This is entirely my fault, I should have been able to save you from this."

Edward's voice was empty as he spoke. "I'm the only one to blame, Alice. He knew what to do in order to make his presence unknown…thanks to my big fucking mouth."

Alice took a deep breath. "Stop talking like that, Edward. Don't you see what you're doing to Bella every time you degrade yourself?"

His head rose instantly as Alice backed away, his eyes searching mine frantically. I smiled sadly. "Don't talk shit about my vamp boy." My fingers drifted along his cheek slowly as his eyes closed and his forehead fell against mine.

"I'm hurting you again," he breathed.

I sighed and rubbed my nose against his slowly. "No baby, you never hurt me…you _never _hurt me."

Edward exhaled shakily and whispered my name against my lips reverently until I was lost in him again. I nearly forgot that Alice was still with us, but as the silence grew, so did the heaviness in the air. I felt as though maybe it should have been obvious to me, what was to come, yet I was oblivious to anything but my vampire.

"Just say it, Alice," he murmured.

Alice hesitated a long moment before finally giving in. "They've found her in the woods…several miles from the house."

My heart lurched once I realized what I had been missing, and Edward groaned painfully.

Alice closed her eyes and swallowed thickly as she continued. "Take your time…she's scared and confused, but Carlisle's got her."

My mind was reeling. The aftermath of the misery that James had inflicted in the past was suddenly a very large part of our future; it was overwhelming me to the point of confusion—what would this mean for us?

And I was so fucking exhausted.

"Take her home, Edward," Alice whispered, running her hand over my hair before she disappeared into the forest behind us.

I barely registered his movements as he lifted us from the ground and began walking leisurely through the woods, his mouth urgent on my skin as he kissed me anywhere he could reach.

I was so tired.

"Stay with me," he begged once more, his tone heart-wrenching as he pulled me tighter against his chest. "No matter what, Bella. Stay with me…love me…please..."

He was gasping for unneeded air as he crushed us almost painfully together. I began to drift off with my face pressed against the crook of his neck as I murmured the only truth I'd ever known.

"I'm staying with you forever…I love you more than anything."

I finally surrendered to unconsciousness, my dreams taunting me with images of a faceless, red-haired vampire…and a vision of Edward falling to his knees, pressing his face against my stomach and begging me not to leave him.

*

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**Twitter: Brits23**

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***sigh* love you guys…let me know what you think, I know you've got something to say about this one! :D**

**See you in a week and a half-ish.**

**Review! :)**


	15. Aftermath

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Story rated M for dark themes. Also rated for sexual situations, lemons, and hot, steamy, angsty vampire lovin'. Not a fan? Then this may not be the story for you. Canon pairing, pretty much OOC, ExB of course…are you still down?**

**WOOT! Then settle in and hold on tight.**

**Hello ladies and gents! I finally have this chapter done, five years later. It would have taken even longer if it wasn't for my lady love Isabel, helping me wade through all the junk floating around in my head. Love you woman!!**

**This chap became a little lengthy so I had to split it...you know how it is.**

**Just a quick recap, since I know how it feels when you have too many updates to remember everything, lol. We last left off with Edward bringing Bella home, begging her not to leave him (aw, sad...he's a little on edge right now). Bella's about to wake up after a few hours of sleep, so let's see what happens.**

**Talk to you down below!!**

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***BPOV***

I woke up to the horrid beeping of my alarm clock, my head pounding in synchronization with its unforgiving cries.

Everything hurt on my body.

But breathing came so easily when I had two cold arms holding me together, lessening the pain from my assiduous nightmares. Faster than my mind could process, Edward was leaning over me to silence my alarm, my eyes blinking rapidly to gain awareness as I turned into his embrace.

My heart melted.

He looked so young as he stared back at me with wide, innocent eyes. I felt the sadness secrete from his body and wrap around mine, but I was happy to take it. I just wanted him to be all right.

I gave him a small smile and rubbed the sleep from my eyes before attacking him, throwing myself on top of his bare chest and squeezing him as hard as my aching limbs would allow me.

He exhaled slowly, a small groan releasing from his mouth as he buried his nose in my hair, rubbing my back in languid, comforting circles. "Good morning, my beautiful girl."

Already I felt the tears welling in my eyes. I spent the majority of the previous day sobbing for one reason or another. Mostly in joy…other times, not so much. But now I just wanted to inhale the scent of his skin and feel him around me and remember this exact fucking moment in time…and just how close we were to losing it.

"I love you," I breathed forcefully, swallowing the lump in my throat as Edward's hands slid beneath my shirt. I was still wearing his boxers and t-shirt, along with his sweatshirt that Alice had given me in the woods earlier this morning. His scent was enveloping me, and I never wanted to remove his clothing—or his body—from mine ever again.

His cold hands felt amazing on my stiff back, the feel of being pressed against James' rigid body still leaving its unwelcome mark.

"You can go back to sleep, beloved. I didn't even think of the alarm…"

I kissed his neck and burrowed closer. "I need to go to school."

"School means nothing anymore," he murmured softly. "You're comfort and safety are the only things that matter, Bella. _You_ are the only thing…"

"Hey," I whispered, pressing my lips against his. "I'm here, baby. You've got me." His fingers curled around my hips as if he needed to physically confirm it. "Feel me…I'm not going anywhere."

He kissed me gently and lifted me from the bed, setting my feet on the floor and pulling me between his legs as he sat on the edge of the mattress. His hands ran smoothly across my stomach before he gripped the hem of my sweatshirt. His brow was furrowed in so much defeat. "I need to make sure that you're all right, Bella."

I ran my fingertips along his rigid jaw, leaning down to kiss his forehead. "Okay," I whispered. His eyes were intent on mine as his hands drifted down my arms to encircle my wrists, lifting slowly until my arms were above my head. I winced slightly, the strained movement causing a deep ache to shoot through my limbs. But that was nothing compared to the pain on Edward's face.

"Bella…I'm so sorry," he groaned, lifting both of my shirts over my head as quickly and delicately as possible. His arms wrapped around my waist as if he was cradling porcelain, loving me gently like he was constantly forced to do.

I was beginning to resent my humanity.

He lifted his head to kiss my lips slowly, his touches full of unspoken words. I shuddered and my nipples hardened the moment they met the open air. A sob escaped my chest once he crashed his forehead against my stomach and groaned in anguish.

I knew I must have looked pretty rough. Every move I made came with an overall ache, and with how easily I bruised, I could only imagine what kind of horror my darkened skin was bringing him. "They'll go away," I whispered forcefully, burying both of my hands in his disheveled hair and comforting him as best I could. "If it means that we're okay, that he's gone, then I'll take one hundred more, Edward. Please don't torture yourself over this when we've been fucking blessed. We still have each other and that's all that matters…please don't."

His mouth was urgent against my ribcage, his eyes meeting mine beneath his lashes as his bottom lip dragged across my skin until he reached my nipple. I moaned as he took the taut flesh into his mouth, suckling gently and releasing me with one gentle kiss.

He slid his nose along the swell of my breast until his lips were caressing the valley in between them, his soft hair tickling my sensitive skin as his mouth moved over me. "She's okay," he whispered to himself against my body, repeating it between kisses as if every moment he spent touching me was further proving my well-being.

"Edward," I gasped, my chest overflowing in a mixture of heartbreak and adoration as he worshipped every inch of my exposed body, taking special care with each purple and blue stain across my pale skin.

With a groan he lifted me from the ground, our bare chests pressed deliciously together as he rushed us out of my room and into the bathroom. The shower curtain rang out loudly into the small space as Edward ripped it to the side, our mouths twisting frantically as he tore his boxers from my body.

He moaned deeply and turned the water on full blast, stepping into the tub but not setting me down as the showerhead pelted us with cleansing water, washing away the filth of the night that tried to contaminate us. He didn't even remove his jeans, too frantic to taste my mouth as he pressed me gently against the tiled wall. The water dripped down our faces in torrents, random drops falling into our mouths as we absorbed each other with thankful strokes of our tongues.

Our intensity never lessened, but eventually the water began scalding my skin and I had to break away. I reached behind him to search for the handle and pressed my forehead against his. He began to apologize profusely, but I put a stop to it. "Shh, baby it's okay…just take your jeans off and I'll fix it."

He swallowed thickly and regrettably slid me down his body, removing his soaked pants as I adjusted the temperature of the water. I pushed my nose against his bare chest, letting my tongue dart out to taste his sweet skin and the warm water flowing down it. "Come here," he whispered hoarsely.

He pulled me with him and sat down inside the tub, settling me into his lap as the spray of the shower created our own private waterfall, protecting us from the outside world for these last few precious moments…before reality set in.

He reached behind me and grabbed my body wash, lathering up his smooth hands before spreading it across my skin with unhurried strokes. His entire body was still with concentration as he washed me gently. "Relax, baby," he whispered against my lips. "Just relax, I'll make it go away."

"Let me touch you," I begged, gathering the soap from his hands and lathering his chest, the heat from the tub making him feel the same as me. I longed for the day when we would be cold together. I closed my eyes and focused on his skin sliding against mine, his lips pressing against my ear as he exhaled unevenly. "My hands are the only hands that will ever touch you like this, beloved." I shivered as his tongue swept across my earlobe, our bodies trembling fervently together. "My mouth is the only mouth that will ever worship your skin. It's only me, Bella. Until you send me away, it will be endlessly me."

"I know," I whispered, pressing my body tighter against his. "We're going to be all right, Edward."

He sighed and retrieved the shampoo bottle, pouring some into his hands before working it leisurely into my hair. "Lean back, love," he whispered, one strong arm supporting my stiff back while his fingers slid languidly against my scalp. I ignored the pull of my muscles and concentrated on the soothing passes his hands made along my skin.

Once the shampoo was washed from my hair, Edward reached behind me, turning off the shower and letting the tub fill up with water from the tap. I sighed as the warm liquid began submerging us. "I just don't know what to do, Bella," he groaned.

I grabbed the sides of his face and held his gaze. "If you need to save her Edward, then we'll save her. Nothing is going to change _this_." I pressed my hand over his heart and kissed his lips.

My fingers slid lower down his body, washing him where our hips were pressed together. His eyes fluttered closed as my soapy palm slid up and down his length, collecting the water between us and washing away the suds. My hand slid smoothly against his skin until his eyes finally opened to meet my intense stare.

"I can't let anything happen to you," he growled desperately. "I refuse to live in a world where you don't exist." My bottom lip began to quiver as his hands slid down my back and trembled at my waist, the overwhelming knowledge of what we had almost lost beginning to consume us both in that moment. Our eyes continued to pour meaningfully into one another, my hips shifting closer to him in his lap until I was sliding the head of his cock up and down my slit.

"Nothing will take me from you, I promise," I whispered breathlessly, shifting and pushing him against my entrance until his tip was nestled inside of me.

He sucked in a shuddering breath and squeezed my waist, his lips entwining with mine as he pulled me further against him. My anxiety evaporated the moment he filled me completely. Our breathing was heavy as we watched each other, not moving but just feeling the connection of our bodies.

"I can't begin to explain how you make me feel," he whispered, his cock twitching inside of me but otherwise our bodies held completely still. "I can't explain what you are to me, Bella."

"You don't have to," I breathed, my muscles holding him inside of me as his thumbs drew circles around my nipples. "You have nothing to prove to me, Edward. I know how you feel…and I know that it's permanent."

"Yes," he exhaled heavily. His fingers slid down my sides until he was caressing me where we were joined and I just couldn't hold still any longer. Our moans were guttural as I began circling my hips indolently over his cock.

He groaned in a contradiction of pleasure and torment as his other hand traced black and purple blotches along my wet skin. His mouth covering mine took away the pain of my bruises, the filth of what had touched me and the fear of what was to come. "He's gone now, Edward. You can save her and we can move on from this. You'll change me and this will be a part of our past. It won't define what we are, baby."

He moaned deeply as I pushed my hips hard against his, the breath leaving his mouth in a gush as his hands fell to the swell of my ass. "I love you so fucking much, Bella," he growled, pulling me rapidly against him as we began moving together frantically.

I closed my eyes and held him as tightly as I could, despite my aching bones. The water was rippling up and out of the tub as we made love to each other amidst the dark clouds of our impending despair.

Our cries were strangled as we raced towards our release; the pleasure coursing through my veins was overwhelming, but bittersweet. I shook violently as he buried himself inside of me and held still, ensuring that I felt nothing but his body filling mine. "Last night, we gave into the love we felt for one another. We made plans for our future and we reveled in nothing but _our_ touch. Last night was _ours_, Bella, do you understand me? There was nothing else between us but the need we feel for each other, and the bond we've eternally formed. _Tell me_," he commanded, his fingers curling around my hip bones as he resumed his penetrations, slamming me forcefully down on his cock.

I moaned loudly as he captured my tongue, our movements turning unguarded as we crashed our hips together. "I love you," I whimpered, trembling at the feel of our skin slapping loudly together. "That's all there was, Edward…that's all there ever is."

He groaned loudly, my body convulsing on top of his as he released inside of me, my walls clamping down around him as his uneven thrusts brought me to a painfully intense climax. I cried out as he moved in me throughout my spasms, and I fought to pull him closer, to hold him tighter, to make him fucking feel my strength once and for all.

I groaned in frustration as I pushed my forehead against his. He kissed me gently and rubbed my back as we came back down from a cloud I never wanted to leave. "I feel you, beloved. Don't think that it's not enough…because your strength is all I have. _You are all I have, Bella_…"

I closed my eyes and tasted his skin, reveling in the aftershocks of our pleasure and listening to the calming water as it held our bodies tightly together.

***

"It's probably a little late to be asking, but is Charlie home?" I asked quietly, smiling at my vamp boy who was currently hanging out of my bedroom window. His arms were folded on my window sill while the rest of him suspended outside the house, his chin resting on his forearm as he gazed lovingly back at me.

"He left for work about an hour before you awoke," he murmured, pursing his lips adorably in a silent plea for a kiss.

I smiled and leaned closer, wrapping my fingers in his damp hair as I tasted his lips. "Did I leave my truck at school yesterday?" I questioned suddenly. In my haze of love and Edward, I found myself disoriented as to where anything was in my life besides him.

He chuckled softly. "Yes, but I went and got it for you while you were sleeping. It's parked around the corner…I figured your father would be a little perplexed as to why you would come back home in the middle of the night."

"Thank you," I smiled, kissing him slowly once more.

"Hmm, you look good in this," he murmured seductively, tugging on the string of his sweatshirt that I was currently drowning in.

"Yeah, you're lucky I let you have your t-shirt back, vamp boy. I should make you walk around shirtless every day," I smiled, leaning in to feel his lips brush against mine.

"Well, my jeans are still soaking wet, if that makes you feel any better," he breathed against my mouth.

"Mmmmm, so are mine," I whispered, fisting his shirt in my hands.

"Don't you dare start, beautiful girl," he murmured, his tongue snaking out to tangle with mine.

"I'm sorry, I just can't stop myself from touching you." I gasped when his teeth ghosted along my bottom lip.

"I know, Bella," he groaned and reluctantly removed his mouth from mine with one chaste kiss. "What should I do? You've got to leave in five minutes in order to make it to class on time, and I'll be by your side, just tell me that you want me there and I will be..."

I smiled warmly and rested my chin on my forearm, bringing us face to face. "Of course I want you with me, Edward, but you have to deal with this. I wish I could go with _you_ so we could face it together."

He shook his head vehemently. "You can't go anywhere near her, especially when I don't know what to expect."

"I understand that," I nodded, taking a moment to collect my thoughts. "Edward, I know you're taking full responsibility for what happened to her. And I know that no matter what I say your guilt won't lessen, but this isn't your fault, you are a _good man_. Please don't let this eat away at you…I don't want you to lose yourself because of this."

He swallowed heavily and leaned forward, his mouth moving slowly against mine as he moaned against my lips. "I'm only as good as you've made me, Bella. And losing me is one thing you'll never have to worry about, I can assure you. But…this is_ my_ burden to bear, love. It's my responsibility to help her, and _I_ have to do it--_I_ owe this to her. She's lived this life because of my ignorant actions…and I have to make it right."

I didn't completely agree with him, but I knew my vamp boy. Of course he would take it all upon himself. I couldn't for one moment comprehend how he ever thought of himself as soulless…he was the most brave and compassionate person I knew.

"Make it right, baby, and then we can be done with it." We smiled at each other as I pressed my forehead to his, running the back of my hand along his cheek. "I just wish we knew what her motives were. Maybe she's pissed we killed the only guy she knew for the past thirty years."

His face fell. "Perhaps…but the sooner I get back, the more we'll know."

My heart lurched, but I tried to keep my face even. "Go home," I whispered.

He shook his head earnestly. "I'm already home…but I'll be back to you soon."

My pulse prickled hot in my ears every time he said things like that to me. "I'm just worried she's going to purposely make you feel like shit for things that are completely in the past."

Edward nodded before averting his eyes, searching for the right words in the space beside me. "Bella, I hope you know that she means nothing to me. I'm fixing a horrendous mistake from my past, reviving a broken soul and that is the end of it. Don't think for one second—"

I pressed my fingers to his lips and smiled wryly. "What? Don't think that you're going to dump me for your old flame?"

My ill-humored joke made his face contort and I immediately felt guilty for making light of such an obviously touchy subject. I grabbed his hands and entwined our fingers tightly together. "Hey," I murmured, pausing until his eyes met mine. "I can't promise you that I won't get irrationally jealous if she starts making a pass at you or some shit. If she had any sense at all, she would try, baby. I mean, look at you." He rolled his eyes at me and I continued. "I'm not going to make this any more difficult for you than it already is, because I know you're mine…and I know that won't change. She's not a threat to me."

"Nobody is," he said forcefully, his tongue making a slow pass along my bottom lip before his mouth covered mine. "Nothing will come between us, Bella. You are the only thing I'll ever want…you are the only one I'll ever call mine. Please…have faith in me, trust me when I say that I am irrevocably and unwaveringly _yours_."

I hummed against his lips and kissed him deeply. Before I knew it his shirt was in my fists and I was pulling until I was flat on my back and he was crawling through the window, hovering over me. "I trust you, Edward…and you _are_ my faith. Just tell ginger-vamp that if she even attempts to get on my man, we're gonna be throwing down, okay?"

He chuckled and pressed gentle kisses along my jaw before taking my earlobe into his mouth. "I don't have words for you, beautiful girl. All I can do is tell you that I love you so entirely, and pray that it's enough."

I moaned as his tongue began sliding along my bite mark, my nerve endings coming alive with each touch he gave me. "Mmmm, you really need to go before you start something…"

He smiled crookedly at me and I nearly cried out in relief. He lifted his body from mine reluctantly and straddled my window frame, kissing me once more as he ran the back of his hand along my cheek. "I'll only be gone the morning, love."

"Okay," I whispered, my stomach twisting at the thought of him leaving me. "No matter what…we're together. No matter how broken or angry she is, remember that you're _good_…and that I love you."

His fingers shook around mine as he took my hand and gazed at me intently, kissing each of my knuckles before falling to the ground below.

He walked backwards slowly, his eyes never leaving mine as I hung halfway out my window. "My light," he murmured, his voice barely reaching me despite our eerily calm surroundings. He lingered a moment longer before turning to run, a blur amongst the trees as he disappeared from my sight.

*

***EPOV***

I don't know why I was running so fast.

Every fiber of my being was aching to turn around and go back to her. Because each pang of responsibility I had inside of me paled in comparison to my need for her.

My Bella…she believed me to be so virtuous. I wasn't so sure. Not when my first instinct had been to take my girl and get the fuck out of there, to let my family deal with the past that had come back to haunt me. The worst part was, they'd do it in a heartbeat. They'd mend that girl back to health while I hid like a coward, and when I came back with my tail between my legs, they'd welcome me with open arms.

If Bella only knew what kind of a man she truly had.

Even though she was the only thing that mattered to me, I knew in my frozen heart that if I didn't fix what I had started, it would chisel away at me slowly. I had to wonder, would it have been better if I _had_ murdered Victoria that night? Or was a life of manipulation and sexual depravity the better choice?

I guess that was a question for her.

The few hours that Bella was granted sleep were fitful. It nearly shattered me to run to school and retrieve her truck, but I had to get it for her in case she needed it. Not to mention all the questions that would result amongst the student body about Bella's truck being on the grounds when she wasn't there with it.

I didn't expect her to go to school and I didn't care about the repercussions any longer. It was a matter of weeks before she turned eighteen, and while I didn't want any altercations to occur between Bella and her father so close to the end of her human life, what she had gone through last night was so much bigger than high school.

After I retrieved her vehicle and surrounded her once more, I refused to take my eyes off of her. I didn't blink, didn't breathe, didn't make one fucking movement--she was all that existed to me.

It was painful to watch her eyes clench in discomfort, groaning in some unknown torment as she pulled me closer. All I could do was close my eyes and beg a higher power to give me her pain, and allow her to troubled mind some peace.

If I thought her restless slumber was painful, then I had no clue what was in store for me the moment I removed her shirt. The most beautiful thing in this world was covered in hateful, angry splotches. It was disgusting what he had done to her, but even the evil he inflicted upon her body couldn't take away her magnificence. Because my God, my girl was absolutely breathtaking, whether she had dark marks along her skin or she was flawless, pristine alabaster.

She was everything.

And he had damaged her.

I fought back my strangled groan as I clung to her, suddenly frantic to wash away the memory of how he had tarnished what was supposed to be a night to remember. It was never easy for me to contain my need for her, but now that I knew how close she had been to being taken away from me, my need turned downright obsessive.

Part of me wanted to rush her to Carlisle and beg him to change her now, to save her from anymore unworldly threats and to save me from the never ending uncertainty. Now more than ever, I knew how quickly I could lose everything, and it terrified me.

She calmed me as she always did, running her hands along my body, across my face, over my heart, reminding me of her love and that nothing would take her from me.

But she _could_ be taken, and we learned that the hard way.

As I neared closer to the woods surrounding my family's home, I began smelling the lingering scent of burning vampire. I wouldn't be satisfied until I could spit on the ashes that remained.

I followed the scent of his destruction until I was standing above billowing smoke, a sardonic smirk covering my features as I mentally cursed that motherfucker to hell.

It was as if he had made it his personal mission in life to destroy me. For the first time in my meaningless existence, I had found something worth living for, only for him to attempt to take it all away. He was gone now, but his aftermath still remained, hanging over me like a dark, unforgiving cloud. Since the moment I had my love back in my arms, I fought to focus on the positive things. She was safe, she was mine, and she forever would be.

But he left me to fix what he and I had both helped in creating. All I wanted to do was find out what we were up against and deal with it accordingly. Then Bella and I would finish out our senior year of Forks High and begin our life together. I was quickly reminded that I still hadn't talked to Carlisle about her transformation. Depending on how much Alice had divulged to him, he may not have been fully aware of my monumental feelings for Bella, and all the epiphanies I had discovered in such a short amount of time.

I pulled the collar of my t-shirt quickly to my mouth, tasting and smelling my human girl--I needed her to get me through this. With each breeze that whipped around me, her scent filled the air. The shirt I was wearing had been the one she was wrapped in for the past several hours, and I needed it more than she knew. I smiled, thinking about how reluctant she was to give it up, but she seemed satisfied once I wrapped my sweatshirt around her body and kissed her until the color of rose was ample against her cheek.

My chest ached without her.

I was broken from my reverie when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I was so far submerged inside memories of my Bella that I hadn't even sensed anyone approach. I swung around defensively, only to see Carlisle standing beside me.

His sky blue dress shirt was rumpled and un-tucked, his normally flawless hair tousled as he observed me with concerned eyes.

He had never looked more like my father than when he was in a state of disarray, and for that I had to chuckle.

Carlisle looked perplexed as he stared back at me. _Please tell me you haven't lost your mind, son._

I chuckled louder and his lips turned upwards in response.

Maybe I had.

I sighed and turned from the burning embers, looking out past Carlisle and into the woods. "I was just thinking that you looked rough, and that you've never looked more like my father."

He ran his finger along his jaw and chuckled despite himself, clapping my shoulder and walking forward with me.

"I don't know what else to do but laugh," I murmured, my eyes glued to the ground as my fingers ran hastily through my hair. "I've sobbed more last night than I have in my entire existence. I've snarled in pure rage, I've groaned in frustration…but more than any of that, I've loved that beautiful girl, and that alone has overpowered me far beyond anything else."

"You're in love with, Bella," Carlisle stated more than questioned, stopping dead in his tracks.

Our eyes met immediately. I took a moment to let the honesty inside of me seep from my gaze and straight into his. I studied the black of his pupils and every golden speck of his eyes until he knew, until he couldn't for one moment doubt my adoration for my girl. "Carlisle," I murmured intensely, my brow furrowing at the solidity of my words. "It would be doing her a disservice, to merely say that I loved her. You know more than anyone…about the struggles I've endured over the years, and you know how desperately I've wanted to be forgotten. But she makes me want to be _seen_. She has found my soul…hell, she _is_ my soul. She's my mate…she's the missing piece of _me_. I'm not wounded anymore, Carlisle. I'm ready to _live_--with my family, and with her…eternally."

He swallowed thickly, shaking his head in wonder. "Do you have any idea how incredibly worried I've been about you, Edward? Day and night I've tried to think of a solution to your depression, to your solitude. For so long I was convinced that you thought I'd made the wrong choice when I gave you eternal life rather than allowing you to die. I've agonized over the fact that you've resented me for this, for trapping you in a life you didn't want with no end in sight."

My stomach lurched painfully. "I've never resented you a day in my life, Carlisle," I said forcefully. "If anything, I felt guilty for being a burden to _you_. I kept to myself because I didn't feel worthy of compassion such as yours. I saw the hurt in Esme's eyes and the pitiable attempts of Jasper and Emmett to try and include me, but I didn't want their sympathy…and above all else, I've never wanted to be a disappointment to you."

In the next instant, Carlisle's arms were tight around my shoulders as he embraced me. "You have never been a disappointment to me, Edward Anthony. You are my _son_…it makes no difference whether we're from the same flesh or not…you are _my _son, do you understand me? There hasn't been a single moment where I haven't been proud, and I'll never give up on you. I love you."

How much more emotion could I take in such a short expanse of time? I hadn't talked with Carlisle like this in decades…on the contrary, I had _never_ talked to Carlisle like this. I was ready to lay everything on the line. Years of evasiveness were all boiling down to the point where truth could no longer be detained. Now more than ever I needed my family, and with the strength of Bella's love inside of me, I was ready to let them in.

"I love you, too." His grip on me tightened as thoughts of joy and relief rang loudly in his mind.

_So long. So long I've waited for my son to come back to me. He's here now._

I slowly broke our embrace, my eyes pleading with his. "I _need_ her Carlisle. I won't survive without her…and I need your help. She could be taken away from me so fucking easily while she's human and it's driving me mad. She knows everything, and she wants this life. Carlisle, she was _destined_ for this life…if you only knew how similar to us she already is."

His internal dialogue was bombarding me.

_A human, similar to us. It's a fascinating prospect._

_He's asking me to change her._

_Is it wrong to kill someone who doesn't need to be saved?_

_I don't doubt their connection…_

His mind quickly thought back to the night that Bella came to the house for dinner. Her eyes so deep and full with love for me. How naturally her presence seemed to ebb and flow with the dynamic of our family. _This human girl has walked into my house and has instantly found her home,_ he had thought at the time. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the familiarity that passed between our silent but passionate connection through hungry eyes and subconscious body language. _My son has found his mate_, he told himself as I left that night with Bella tucked beneath my arm.

As he stood in front of me, pondering what I was truly asking of him, he came to a somewhat temporary resolve.

_I have to discuss this with Bella before we make a decision._

_One step at a time…much more pressing issues are at hand._

I winced once his thoughts went to Victoria huddled in the corner of his study.

Carlisle clapped my back as we began walking in the direction of the house. "Edward, I can't begin to express how happy I am for you and Bella. We obviously need to discuss this further, and I'd like Bella to spend more time with us. How can she be convinced she wants to remain with this family forever if we've only congregated a handful of times?"

"She's certain," I nodded, slowing to a respectable human pace. I grinned sheepishly and scratched absently at the back of my head. "I'll try to work on sharing her a bit."

Carlisle smiled. "I understand how difficult it can be."

We walked along in heavy silence. Carlisle's mind was struggling to find a way to bring up the obvious between us. I took a deep breath and stood a little taller, preparing to face this head on so I could get back to my love. But Carlisle beat me to it.

"Is Bella all right?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "She is…she was shaken and still is, I suppose. She's far more courageous than I am. She has bruises covering her extensively, but there's no permanent damage--apart from the memory of being trapped in his sickening embrace."

"Alice told me the majority of what took place, Edward. I'm so incredibly sorry."

I shook my head. "It's over. I want to figure out a way to help Victoria and be done with it. The light at the end of this tunnel is having Bella by my side…forever."

Carlisle hesitated a moment before continuing. "Victoria is completely malnourished," he spoke softly. "She's temperamental now, but her hostility is nothing more than a front. She's scared, but I'm confident that she can recover from the past thirty years of manipulation."

I nodded solemnly.

"But she can't stay here, son."

My head swung to the side instantly. "What do you mean?"

We stopped walking once more. "Edward, after being denied so long, she is now ravenous for blood. Forks may be a small town, but it's still populated. While we won't have a problem containing her, it seems cruel to taunt her with the abundance of human blood when we'll be constantly denying her of it."

"I don't know what to think," I murmured. "If she doesn't want to live our lifestyle, we certainly can't make her. But if she even _thought_ about coming near Bella or anyone dear to her…I mean, if she's as spiteful and malevolent as James, then I won't allow her to walk this earth."

Carlisle was quiet. "I don't commend taking a life, Edward, especially someone as lost as she."

"Well if she's not willing to cooperate, I need to think about what's best for Bella. We certainly don't need another vampire out for vengeance knocking at our door. I've put her through enough."

"You need to talk to Victoria," Carlisle said firmly.

"I know."

"Rosalie and Emmett will be going to school today, but Jasper and Alice will be remaining here to…help with her. I'm staying home as well, until we have a better idea of what to expect," he said, watching me very carefully.

"I'm sorry for up-heaving your life like this. It isn't fair to any of you," I whispered.

Carlisle grabbed my shoulder. "We're a family, Edward. We help each other because we're united…don't ever apologize for that." He looked at me intently before letting me go. "She's in my study…I've talked to Eleazar. He's agreed to assist us in her healing process, and if she agrees to adhere to our diet, I believe it essential that she be taken away from the temptation of human life…at least in the beginning. She'll need to go to Alaska, with the Denalis."

My hands flew to my hair. "Victoria isn't their responsibility, Carlisle. She went through this because of my foolish actions, and it's my job to make things right...but I refuse to leave Bella."

Carlisle looked to the ground. "If all goes according to plan, we can take turns working with Victoria until she's fully restored. Esme and I will gladly take this burden from you, son, but somehow I don't think that will sit well with your sense of duty."

I was quiet for what seemed like hours. I could feel my insides splintering as I imagined being away from Bella…not watching her eyes open for the first time in the morning, not feeling her warmth against my cold skin as she wrapped herself around me, not talking to her, tasting her, existing with her. It was more than I could take. "I don't know if I'll physically survive it," I murmured desperately.

"It would probably be weekends at a time, son. A handful of days may feel like an eternity, but once you're free of the guilt you feel and Victoria can prosper, you'll have nothing but endless amounts of time with your mate."

My head shot up. "Does this mean you're willing to change her?"

He looked at me warily. "There's still much left to discuss, but I'm not blind, Edward. I've seen the way you look at her, and the pure love in her eyes when she gazes back at you. From the moment that vibrant girl walked through our door, I knew what she was meant to be for this family. The final piece. If you can manage to get through these trying times, we can put it behind us as a family. All of us together, Bella included."

Everything I'd ever wanted and more, if I could handle being apart from the girl I refused to live without. I needed to talk to her. "I'll go to Victoria now," I murmured, pulling at the tendrils of my hair. "If she agrees to our assistance, then I'll need to discuss this with Bella before I make any decisions."

"I should probably tell you, a meeting between us and the Quileutes will be inevitable."

Fuck. I had completely forgotten about the wolves…and just how ardently I owed them for protecting my girl when I couldn't. "They must be furious at me," I whispered.

Carlisle did nothing to placate my fears, and I sighed heavily once he finally spoke. "Jacob Black took over the position of Alpha Male last night, Edward."

My eyes widened. "Why?"

"We arrived shortly after they had…dismembered James's body. Once we were all on the same page, courtesy of Alice, Sam's fury set in."

"I don't blame him," I murmured.

"Yes, well, when they came to our home days ago, you gave him permission to rip you to shreds if you ever harmed Bella. Apparently that's how he saw what took place last night."

I wanted to fall to my knees. "He had every right."

Carlisle shook his head. "Self-loathing is going to do nothing for you in this situation, Edward. There was nothing that could have been done, and none of it was your fault." He waited for a response from me but when I offered none, he continued speaking. "Sam began following your scent, intent on retaliation but…Jacob halted him the only way he knew how. Taking back his birthright once and for all."

"Jacob deserves to be Alpha," I murmured. "The boy has a good head on his shoulders."

"He does," Carlisle nodded. "And a good judge of character. Just look at how clearly he sees you…a being of virtue and honor."

I scoffed. "I don't know who you're referring to, Carlisle, but those words certainly don't describe me."

"We need to talk about everything…and I mean everything, son. Victoria isn't the only one who needs healing, Edward. Bella has brought you back to us and now that you're here, I want you to believe in yourself…I want you to care about yourself the way we all care about you."

I let out a shuddering sigh. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to feel worthy of Bella…and all of you. But for now, I need to face Victoria, I've got to know where we stand."

Carlisle nodded. "Go to her, and remember who you are, Edward. Not the lost man who withered away the days beneath his sorrow. Remember who you _truly_ are."

In the next instance I was left alone, standing on the outskirts of our backyard and preparing to face the truth I had cowered from for the last three decades of my life.

There was nowhere for me to hide any longer.

***

I walked up the stairs to Carlisle's office as if I were marching to my death. I was so torn. I wanted to run and get this over with. I wanted to flee from the house and wallow in my ambiguity. My vision of unwavering chestnut eyes pushed one foot in front of the other until my fist was knocking gently on a solid oak door, and my fingers were turning the knob that would bring me to my fate.

The unneeded breath was ripped from my lungs as I saw her there, huddled in the corner and trembling in fear. Her skin was nearly transparent, her body too slender for her tall frame as the dark circles around her eyes made her appear more undead than any vampire I'd ever seen before. Her once fire-red hair was now bland with tinges of orange and pale rose…

_This is what I had done to her._

I approached her slowly, her gaze not moving from the floor as I stood in front of her.

"Victoria," I murmured.

She gasped once her name left my mouth, her pitch black eyes meeting mine instantly. "It's you," she whispered.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. "No one's going to hurt you anymore."

Her vulnerability was quickly masked with anger. "I never thought I'd see the day I'd be looking into the eyes of my murderer. Was it some sort of plan you concocted with him? You bait me and he destroys me?"

"No," I said forcefully. "I'll…I'll tell you everything. The truth he's kept from you all this time. If you'll listen, I'll fill in every questioning blank you've ever had."

She didn't respond, but wasn't protesting either. I settled into Carlisle's leather chair and with a heaving breath, told her everything. How I'd met James the night she was changed, the lifestyle I led, the loneliness I used to feel. How fascinated I was by the act of sex but had never been given the opportunity to experience it until I met her that night. I explained what James wanted me to be and that I could never have lived like he did, that when I left with her that night I didn't know what to expect, but never for a moment did I intend on harming her.

I awkwardly told her that the overwhelming sensation of her mouth on me was more than I could handle. I snapped her neck with my startled reaction, and I fought to make her understand how ashamed I was for leaving her to die in that alley. I explained that I believed her to be dead all these years, only realizing she still existed once James was intruding into my home and taunting me with the manner in which he had treated her.

I spoke to her until my voice was cracking from the exertion and the raw pain of reliving the past thirty years of my life and hers. She said nothing for an immeasurable amount of time.

"He was watching you and your girlfriend the night after Laurent was killed," she finally murmured. "He was far enough away to be undetected, but he watched…he was obsessed with the way you were together. He…he made me pretend to be her when we were…together. He closed his eyes and called me Bella; he was…gentle with me. He held me afterwards when I was Bella."

I didn't know how I was supposed to react to this revelation. Disgusted. Violated. Sympathetic. Guilty. Enraged. "What do you mean, you watched us?" My voice was almost as broken as my spirit, my panic lining every inch of my body.

"In the woods…you set her on a rock and held her so closely to your chest, stroking her hair, murmuring that you'd never hurt her." The longing for a connection such as mine and Bella's was heavy in Victoria's tone and rampant in her mind as she shifted against the wall.

"You asked her if she wanted her predator…I couldn't see her clearly but I could hear how hungry she was for you by the trembling aggressiveness in her voice." I was nearly ejected from my chair with where this was going, the thought of them seeing what we had shared that night when we gave into our primal instincts would _end_ me. That knowledge was more than I could ever fucking take. Victoria began talking before I completely unraveled.

"We left…before you showed her your true nature. James cursed viciously under his breath. He wanted more from your human…he wanted to see her bare and mewing with arousal, he was ravenous for it. But he dragged me away in a rage, knowing that once you began to hunt, it wouldn't be long before we were detected. He had been obsessed with _Bella_ ever since that moment."

"I should have sensed your presence," I growled, my fists tightening in my hair.

Victoria shook her head sadly. "He was so studious in hiding himself from you. Far enough away to hear but to still remain concealed. Close enough to see you together from a distance, but not close enough to let you sense us. He told me not to think, to keep myself silent, and I did, because I knew better than to ignore his demands."

I couldn't comprehend what she was saying to me. I came in here to do what was right for Victoria, but I was desperate to get back to Bella. To know how close he was to seeing her like I had--flushed from my touch and begging for more--was agonizing. My body trembled in pure fury, but I had to hold onto the fact that he _didn't_. He _didn't _take that night from us…he _didn't _ruin the beauty that we had created once we surrendered to one another amongst the trees.

That was all that fucking mattered.

God, I needed Bella.

"Just let me help you so we can put this all behind us," I murmured in a devoid tone.

"I never asked any of you to save me from this," she spat. "You killed the man I spent the past thirty years with, my only connection to another living creature."

"You mean to tell me you've been happy all these years spent with him?"

Her eyes went to the floor. "I knew what I had to do in order to survive. After awhile, I learned to deal with what James was. He wasn't despicable all the time. I think he cared for me in his own way."

I looked at her fiercely. "Don't you think you deserve more than that?"

"Not really," she muttered.

"Well I think you do."

"Says the person who ended my life with his dick in my mouth."

I clenched my fists. "Rehashing the past over and over won't change a goddamn thing, Victoria. I'm here with you now, and I want to make up for my actions. I want to show you that this life doesn't have to be filled with death and rough sex and hate. You can have more than that, and my family will show you how."

She growled low in her throat. "Maybe I _want_ rough sex. Fuck my mouth now, Edward. I guarantee you it won't cause me any harm."

Her words were steady but the heartbreak was clear in her eyes as she spoke those forceful words. "It doesn't have to be like that," I murmured, rubbing my chest at the prominent ache I felt without my human girl.

"But this is all I know," she whispered angrily, laying her head against the wall and looking up at me wearily.

"You can learn. It will be difficult at first, but your support system will be solid. We can get you through this."

"So I won't have to kill people?" she whispered, her raw vulnerability returning instantly.

I watched as her mind replayed the hundreds of women James had murdered over the years, sometimes making her take their life as he fucked them. She did what she had to do in order to avoid starvation, but every second of it made her ill.

"Never again," I murmured. "The blood of animals won't satisfy you in the same way as a humans, but it will allow you to focus on the more important things in life. Forming bonds with others of our kind. It's important to have people to rely on, because this life doesn't get any shorter. Refraining from killing humans will let you excel in other areas. If you allow yourself to be around civilization without murdering, you can go to school, learn every trade imaginable, live for something more than your next kill."

I found it ironic that I was pitching such a life when I myself had spent the majority of my own life hiding away from everything but the empty void in my chest. I vowed to start living once this was behind me, with Bella by my side.

Victoria seemed to mull over my words carefully. "I thought you had to be a certain way, in a life such as this," she whispered.

"Not at all," I shook my head steadily. "We'll take you to meet our extended family, and you can see the proof for yourself. As a whole, we are genuinely happy creatures, Victoria. You can be too."

"The girl…Bella…is she your mate?"

I gripped Carlisle's desk viciously, the wood splintering beneath my fingers. Hearing those words out loud had made this so very real…and I was growing frantic with each passing moment I wasn't there to hold her, to love her, to _protect her_.

"Yes," my voice quivered.

"Was…was James _my_ mate?"

As she stared back at me with wide questioning eyes, I knew without a doubt that there was good inside of her. We just had to salvage it from the years of darkness that shrouded her light. "No," I spoke softly, moving to kneel in front of her. "No one would treat their mate the way he treated you. Carlisle will counsel you, Victoria. He'll bring you back and you can thrive with this lifestyle. You can find someone who will bring you joy in the way that Bella has for me. The first step is the healing process…please, let me make this right for you."

I inwardly cringed at her thoughts of my beauty and jealousy of everything Bella had that she did not. Thankfully her thoughts weren't malicious in nature, which gave me endless amounts of hope.

"We need to talk more," she murmured.

"And we will."

She sat up from the wall slightly as her bottom lip trembled. "I don't want to be a monster."

And there it was. The words I had spoken to myself time and again throughout my existence. I knew we could fix her…I knew that good could come from this nightmarish situation.

I tucked her hair behind her ear and smiled at her softly. "You don't have to be a monster, Victoria. You can overcome your past if you'll just let me and my family in."

She nodded her head slowly and moments later I heard Carlisle and Esme entering the room quietly behind us.

We had taken the first step, and now I needed nothing but my love, safe and secure in my arms.

*

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*

* * *

**So…….**

**Things are taking an interesting turn, no?**

**Vickie seems pretty docile, all things considered...do you think she's for real or is she suppressing her inner Vamp-Bitch? Let's discuss over on the LB thread, shall we? ****http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=7529**

**In other news, my girl Aylah50, who I just so happen to beta for, has a fantastic story entitled, "The Ride." Summary: Bella and Edward meet at a concert as teenage strangers during the height of grunge in the 90's. When their paths cross 14 years later, Edward is stuck in the past while Bella is fleeing from hers. **

**It's a great little ficcie in its beginning stages, and the girl deserves some attention, so run on over or at least add it to your 'to read' list, kk? :D Linkage: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5838394/1/The_Ride**

**Next on the agenda, Laid Bare has been nominated for a Shipper Award in the Best AU Fic category. Please show our Bitey some love (since he is having a rough time as of late) and vote for us! I sure do appreciate your support. Link: http://www(dot)kwiksurveys(dot)?surveyID=KILHNK_a101a05a&UID=1289469241**

**A big thank you to every reader, every reviewer, and everyone on twitter. I can't begin to thank you enough for the pimpage and the ongoing support. You'll never know how much it means. :) If you don't follow me on teh Twitter, please do! You can find me under Brits23!**

**A good portion of chapter 16 is already started, so the wait shouldn't be so long next time. In the meantime, please leave me a crapton of reviews…I sure do love to read every word you offer me. And even though I don't get to respond to as many as I would like, please know I read and cherish every one. **

**Until next time! :)**


	16. Sacrifice

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Story rated M for underage drinking, smoking, brief drug use and overall bad behavior. Also rated for sexual situations, lemons, and hot, steamy, angsty vampire lovin'. Not a fan? Then this may not be the story for you. Canon pairing, pretty much OOC, ExB of course…are you still down?**

**WOOT! Then settle in and hold on tight.**

**Here's a song to listen to when things start to uh…heat up. http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=vk5vRoc0_nk**

**Here we go….let's see what Bella's up to at school. Talk to you down below! :)**

x0x0x0

***BPOV***

I missed him.

And not just because of our previous night, the darkest of nights that had threatened to take it all away.

There was something more inside of me now. It was alive like my racing heart, urgent like my flowing blood, insistent like the need pulsing deep within me.

My love for him was as tangible as the tissue inside my body, more vital than the organs working to keep me alive as I sat in tedious class after tedious class.

Soon these very organs would be dormant, left inside of me as a reminder of what I had once been in a past life, and the steps I'd taken to bring me to my eternal home.

I just _missed_ him. And I didn't care that it had only been a handful of hours. It could have been _minutes_ and it still wouldn't have mattered.

Because he was my vamp boy.

Even without him next to me, he still managed to bring a smile to my face. He told me yesterday that he planned on switching as many classes as he could in order for us to be together, but I didn't think he would actually pull it off. Imagine my surprise when each one of my teachers called an absent Edward Cullen in their roll call.

It took everything inside of me not to fall asleep throughout my classes. Not only was I tired as fuck, but I was dressed in my favorite yoga pants and Edward's dark grey sweatshirt…I was beyond comfortable. And beyond concerned. I paid little attention to the curriculum, my every thought with him…and the battle that had only just begun. I wondered what he was doing, if he was all right, if Victoria was willing to cooperate or if she was tormenting him relentlessly.

The past twenty-four hours made me feel so much, from one end of the spectrum to the other. I still didn't know if I had fully absorbed the beauty we created together, eclipsed by the thick blackness that had slithered through Edward's window and wrapped itself around us. Overall, I felt more indignant than violated. _His_ hands were on my stomach and _his_ tongue slid across my face, but he didn't take a goddamn thing from me. In fact, I felt stronger than ever before, in _spite _of his malice. Even though being trapped in his arms was more sickening than words could properly express, it didn't change the fact that the situation could have been so much worse.

It was over, he was gone, and Edward and I were more united because of it. I wouldn't let James' filth destroy me, not when I had so much to live--and die--for.

The presence of Victoria was a large and bitter pill to swallow. Frankly, I was still choking on that bitch, no pun intended.

Okay, maybe a _little_ pun.

Out of any of the things that could have happened to us, _she_ was the last thing I expected. Even though the details were grim to say the least, I still couldn't help the irrational jealousy I felt now that she was here, the only other woman in this world who knew the exact size and taste of my vampire.

Fear of losing him was completely devoid from any thought in my mind. There was no second guessing what we were together. This was just it, plain and fucking simple. No fear of commitment or paranoia about my passionate cry to wear his ring on my finger. I didn't care how old I was, marrying him didn't freak me out because it wasn't even enough for us…that age-old ceremony didn't begin to cover the way I felt and the connection we shared--but I wanted to be possessed by him in every way.

_His_ ring on my finger. _His_ mark on my neck.

My life in _his_ hands.

I wanted those things just as adamantly as I wanted to stake my own claim on _him_. I wanted _my_ ring on _his_ finger. I wanted him to be _my_ mate, _my_ husband, _my_ eternity…what do eighteen years have to do with anything? So my time on this earth had been limited, it didn't mean I couldn't love with my whole heart, and it sure as hell didn't mean I had to wait to tie myself to the person who was meant for me.

So I wouldn't.

And even though my jealousy was unjust, I still harbored it like an annoying weight in my chest. Even if she tried to throw herself at him, it's not like he would return her affections. I just had to focus on the truth. We belonged to each other, and once we knew how to solve this problem, we'd focus on us…and the infinity we would blessedly get to share.

By the time lunch hour rolled around, I was getting fidgety. He did say he would be back for me in the afternoon, and my cell read a solid 12:04 p.m. I thought about texting him but decided against it, not wanting to seem too needy. But then I realized that it was Edward and he knew me better than I knew myself. So what if I was needy…he was too, damnit.

_Come here…I miss you, _I wrote.

I threw my books inside of my locker and nearly dropped my phone when it chirped back at me a moment later. My heart was racing when I flipped it open to find that the incoming text wasn't from Edward at all.

_Hey B. I need to talk to you and your blood brother, ASAFP._

My breath was stolen from my lungs as I read Jake's message, tears welling in my eyes as I thought about what he had done to save us. I pressed my back against the locker and took a few steadying breaths.

_Number one: I love you, and no amount of words will begin to express just how grateful I am to you. Number two: Don't call him my brother, that's gross. :p Number three: WTF does ASAFP mean?? Number Four: Did I mention that I fucking love you, cuz I do._

I sent my reply in two separate messages, because it was long as hell but completely necessary, and hit send.

After a minute or two, he wrote back.

_Yeah, your fine ass better love me, you have no idea how much I've sacrificed for you and your fucking Dracula… ASAFP=As soon as fucking possible, dumbass. Love you too._

I swallowed heavily and wrote back a quick reply.

_I'll talk to Edward and we'll set something up, k?_

He agreed and I shut my phone, my lips twisting into a frown when no message was waiting for me from Edward.

I walked leisurely to the lunchroom, tightening my pony tail and running my fingers along his bite mark that was concealed behind the hood of my sweatshirt--I called it mine because there was no way in hell he was ever getting it back now.

My mind drifted to the previous night, before things turned to shit. He loved me slowly, taking his time to explore every inch of my body until neither one of us could breathe, the need to unleash our passion becoming more than we could take. We'd pushed against one another fervently until we were screaming with an unbearable pleasure, shaking and holding on tightly in pure exhaustion until it started all over again. We would never be able to control our need, and I never wanted us to start.

I pushed against the tender skin of my neck, remembering how gently his lips brushed along his mark before he sunk his teeth into me. His movements were slow, I felt the rigidity of his enamel pressing further and further until he was drinking me, his tongue lapping and his lips pressing until he was consumed in my blood.

And each time he took me like that, I felt _more._

Our connection was intense, like lightning. As if pure electricity was sliding through my veins, burning my body yet making me feel so fucking satisfied I could barely survive it. I trembled in his arms as the tingling sensation of his venom filtrated inside me, everything growing hot with need and blinding me in its intensity.

I lived for that burn.

Before I could even register what was happening, I was being scooped up off the ground by a massive force, solid arms cradling me gently as if they were weary of their strength.

Emmett.

"Jesus Christ, kid, are you all right?" he breathed, squeezing me a bit before setting me down.

"I'm good," I sighed, searching the room for Edward. "Long night, but I'm good. Is he…?"

"Haven't seen him yet. Jazz and Alice stayed home to keep a rein on things. I can't believe you came to school today…I didn't even bother coming to find you because I was sure you'd be taking it easy."

"Yeah well, let's just say my attendance hasn't exactly been ideal lately…and I don't feel the need to dwell on what happened to us. There's no going back and there's not much any of us can do about it now, considering he's nothing but dust."

Emmett grumbled. "I was pissed that he was already finished off when I got there. It would have been my pleasure to tear him the fuck apart."

Emmett's normally playful demeanor quickly changed to menacing vampire and I looked around to see two freshman scooting past us rather quickly. "Easy killer," I murmured, pulling his arm until we were walking towards our lunch table. "You're going to scare the little ones."

He snorted and threw his arm cautiously around my shoulder. "Come on, go get some food, Bella. Edward would have a shitfit if you didn't."

"Yeah, I will," I hesitated, looking up nervously at Emmett. "Hey Em, what's she like? Did you see her at all?"

He looked at me with wide eyes. "Briefly…" he began. "She was difficult at first but then she pretty much cowered in Carlisle's office. She didn't really talk to anyone, but they managed to get her in the house, so that's something I guess."

_Something, indeed._

After grabbing a tray I walked to the table that held Emmett and Rosalie, who seemed to be discussing something rather intently.

"So, what did you guys do last night?" I questioned sarcastically, popping a chicken nugget into my mouth since apparently the Forks School District thought we were toddlers who needed dino-shaped, processed chicken to get us through our day.

"Do you think this is funny?" Rosalie spat.

_Here we fucking go again._

"Oh absolutely, _Rose_. When his tongue was sliding across my face, I could barely contain my utter fucking delight."

"Stop, you two…_right now_. I'm done with this constant bullshit bickering," Emmett snapped. "Babe, Bella's going to be a part of our family whether you like it or not, it's time for you to get over it. Bella, my wife has an ass-backwards way of showing it, but she's actually concerned about you, she just likes to conceal it with bitchy remarks."

Rosalie slapped Emmett's shoulder and avoided my eye contact, but didn't dispute his words.

I was about to open my mouth again, but I felt my body grow weak. My hands began to shake, my skin became alive and the second Rosalie and Emmett fixed their gazes above my head, I knew he was coming back to me.

I turned around and my breath was stolen from me as a tall, lean boy with muscles in all the right places strode stealthily my way. His hand was buried in his wild auburn locks, eyes intense and his expression brooding as I watched his loose hand tremble beside his thigh.

I licked my lips and felt an invisible rope attempting to pull me towards him, my eyes beginning at the black Nikes covering his feet, sliding up the dark-wash jeans hugging his strong legs perfectly. I reveled in his worn white t-shirt, clinging and releasing to the indentations of his abdomen as his body shifted with his movements. A scattering of chest hair peeked out from beneath the collar of his shirt, his Adam's apple bobbing against the column of his pale throat as he approached the table.

He crouched in front of me and his golden eyes searched mine, his intense expression visibly relaxing as he breathed me in. His hand ran along my cheek and his fingers slid behind my hair as I closed my eyes and lost myself to him once more. I nearly whimpered when his cool lips pressed against my forehead, his kiss lingering as his fingers began tracing frantic circles along my jaw.

I held his wrist and pushed my forehead against his mouth, my eyes already brimming with the tears that had bombarded me since the moment he confessed his love to me.

He slowly lifted himself away before settling into the seat beside me, entwining our fingers tightly enough for my skin to tense against the bone.

I wished he could hold me tighter.

I glanced up briefly to his siblings, who were staring at us with unreadable expressions on their faces. With a sigh, I pressed my face into the crook of his neck and breathed his air, his skin, his body. Edward's hand drifted gently up and down my spine, his lips pressed into my hair and it just felt like fucking forever since we had been together like this.

"Don't leave me again," I breathed softly, pushing my body tighter against him and fisting the fabric of his t-shirt in my hands. I immediately regretted my words, knowing how unfair it was for me to ask that of him, considering our current state of affairs.

I was desperate to know what took place, but more than anything I needed to feel his skin against mine.

As soon as the request was out of my mouth, he tensed, a shiver running through his body as a groan escaped his lips. "Bella," he pleaded.

I remained silent and absorbed as he began attempting a normal conversation with Emmett and Rosalie. They discussed an impending storm that Alice had seen, and Emmett's desire to play some 'hardcore baseball.' Edward asked Rosalie about her nearly restored Camaro, his lips never far from my body, his arms never loose as he cradled me against his side.

It seemed like he was with them, but he was only ever with me.

I suddenly found myself wondering how healthy that was.

I was seconds from falling asleep with his delicious scent lulling me into my subconscious when I felt cold fingers at my chin, lifting until I was submerged in a swirling of love amongst amber eyes. He licked his bottom lip and leaned forward until it was sliding gently against mine. "Eat something, my beautiful girl."

I heard him dragging my tray along the tabletop until it was between us, his eyes holding mine as his lips turned into a tentative smile. "My love," he murmured, ghosting my cheek with his fingertips before releasing me enough to eat my lunch.

I was quiet and contemplative as I ate my dinosaurs, my hand surrounded with Edward's as our legs rubbed languidly together beneath the table.

"So Edward, once I have the bikes up and running, you gonna let me take your girl out for a spin?"

"_My girl _can do whatever pleases her, Emmett," Edward spoke softly, running his thumb along my knuckles.

I looked up at Emmett questioningly as he tore apart his food bit by bit. "My wife's not the only grease monkey in the family," he winked at me. "My plan is to fix up enough bikes so each of us has one." He smiled widely, seemingly very pleased with himself.

I snorted. "Are you looking to start your own biker gang or some shit, Em?"

He laughed and threw a piece of chicken at me. "You know it…help me think of a name for our bad ass posse."

"Okay first of all, don't say bad ass posse, because that makes you the exact opposite of bad ass," I chuckled, sighing as I felt Edward's smiling lips against my temple. "Secondly, we need leather jackets with our emblem and gang name on the back."

"The Cullen Corpses," Emmett suggested.

I cringed. "Way too morbid."

He thought a moment before his eyes lit up. "Vampire Vixens?"

Edward scoffed playfully. "You want to describe yourself as a vixen, Emmett? We'll make sure your jacket is hot pink with frills."

"That would be a pretty good name if just the girls had a gang though," I pointed out, my face suddenly turning red as I remembered how thoroughly the blonde across the table despised me.

"Our biker gang would put yours to shame," Rosalie said as she pointed at Emmett with a carrot stick.

I squeezed Edward's hand in response to her lack of animosity. He leaned down and took my earlobe gently into his mouth. "Now all I can think about is your gorgeous body scantily clad in tight leather. What are we going to do about that?"

I felt the familiar flooding of heat between my legs at his seductive words as I moved our clasped hands so I could brush my knuckles against his hardened cock. I ignored Emmett and Rosalie's discussion in the background as I pressed my lips to his ear. "I'll dress up for you, baby. This body is yours…you can have it anyway you want it."

His eyes were black and hungry as he squeezed our fingers together and released them rhythmically. "Anything?" he breathed.

"_Everything_," I murmured huskily.

The bell rang and commotion ensued around us, but we remained entirely still except for the rise and fall of our chests. I studied his face like it would be the last time, trying to really comprehend how it felt to have him like this. I wasn't sure my human brain was capable of understanding something so immense.

Somehow we lifted ourselves from the table with our hands held tightly, Edward dumping my tray but still not looking away from me. We paused around the corner of the hallway and he pulled me into his arms hastily, his breathing heavy as he lined his body with mine. "I love you more with each passing second, beloved…I feel like I'm drowning sometimes. Like I'm choking for air, but I never want to release myself from your decadent waters."

I pulled myself tighter against him and he groaned deeply, turning me until I was pressed firmly against the wall. I buried my fingers in his hair and tugged until his nose was pressed gently against mine, my other hand pushing against his lower back so I could feel him hard and trembling against me. "There's only one solution. Change me, then take me for days, for weeks…forever, if you can. Stay naked with me while the world passes us by."

His growl made me desperately wet as he pressed his tongue against my bite mark, his hands shaking against my stomach as he fought to restrain himself. "I could be inside of you for years, and I'd still be this hungry for you, love."

"Mmmm…we need to go to class or we're going to make this happen right in the hallway, baby," I whispered, pushing his erection firmly against me.

"Then let's make it happen," he breathed heavily into my ear, the fabric of my sweatshirt twisting in his hands as he tasted my skin.

"God, don't tempt me," I murmured, burying my face in his neck and holding him with every ounce of strength I had inside of me.

We were silent as we swayed rhythmically back and forth, our blinding need lessening in its intensity and giving way to a sweet, tender moment.

"There's so much to discuss, Bella…" he breathed.

I looked up at him somberly. "When?"

His eyes dropped to my mouth. "After school, when we're alone and there isn't an scrap of clothing between us. I need to feel you against me, Bella."

I watched his face twist and I suddenly became very worried about our impending conversation. "It's bad?" I questioned.

He pursed his lips. "Not bad per say…more like a sacrifice on our part."

My eyes widened and he pulled me closer, sensing how horrified his reply had made me. "I don't think it's anything we can't handle."

I looked up at him skeptically and he held my chin between his thumb and index finger, his mouth turning into a smirk despite my worry. "Don't look at me like that, Bella. You look adorable with that pout on your face and it makes me want to do several things that wouldn't be allowed in biology class. And I hate seeing you anxious. You know I won't let anything come between us."

He waited until my eyes met his, and I found what I needed in his loving gaze.

Trust.

I smiled and reached up to kiss his lips before we slowly began the walk to our next class. I was still anxious about what Victoria's presence would mean for us, but I knew without a doubt, Edward would never condone anything that had the power to separate us.

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0

It was funny how my morning dragged on relentlessly, but the afternoon positively flew by when he was by my side.

He managed to join every one of my classes but gym, which was actually okay with me. I needed some time to breathe, considering our sexual tension was through the fucking roof after an entire afternoon of whispered promises. And I definitely didn't need to watch Jessica and Lauren drool all over my vampire in his gym clothes.

Once the final bell rang and I was released from the fiery pits of gym class, I checked my phone. One new text from Edward.

_Come to me…right now._

I gulped audibly like some kind of fucking cartoon character, because even through a written message, I heard his sinister tone. He wanted me, he was going to go vampire on me, and I was sprinting towards the front doors before I had the chance to even shut my phone.

I stopped once I hit the edge of the parking lot, feeling his eyes on me the second he came into view. "Holy shit," I muttered, my legs threatening to give as I walked clumsily in his direction.

His eyes were pitch black, I could feel his fiery gaze from across the lot. He leaned against the side of the Volvo with his arms folded over his chest and one leg crossed over the other.

He inhaled deeply as I approached, his chest rising and falling as he sucked my scent from the air around him. A dark little smirk curled his lips as his finger bended, beckoning me closer and promising me more than words could ever describe.

I whimpered as his bottom lip came between his teeth and he pushed off of his car, steadily walking towards me like a predator stalks his prey.

"Come on, vamp boy…you gonna fuck me?" I challenged him under my breath, knowing he could hear me despite the distance.

His chuckle sent a chill down my spine, his mouth speaking something my ears couldn't detect. There was nothing but our eyes burning and our distance growing thin…

…until Edward turned his head to the side and watched Angela approaching me from her tan Honda Accord.

"Hey Bella," she murmured, her eyes cast downward as she pulled at the sleeve of her shirt.

I observed her for a moment, her expression troubled and her bottom lip trapped between her teeth. I had never seen her look so utterly confused. "You okay, Ang?" I questioned.

She sighed, her fingers trembling as they linked together nervously. "I just need someone to talk to about…_Ben_. I don't know what to do or how to act around him…I don't even know if I should _be_ with him. I mean, what if he interferes with my schoolwork or my grades start slipping? Shit…I don't know, I was just really hoping we could grab some coffee like we talked about yesterday."

Holy shit, Angela said…._shit._

Fuck.

_Fuckity fuck._

With all the chaos that the past twenty-four hours had brought me, I'd completely forgotten about the coffee date I'd agreed to go on with Angela.

So it came down to this. Extinguish the fire brewing between Edward and I, or ditch my friend who was obviously in need of some guidance.

Damnit.

"Uhhhh…sure. I just need to talk to Edward for a minute. Meet you there in ten?"

"Sounds good," she smiled, bounding back towards her vehicle.

My entire body shuddered when I turned to face him.

Oh dear God…_yes._

"Can I see you in my car for a moment, love?" he asked in a deep voice, his hair wild and his eyes the darkest onyx. His outstretched hand trembled as he reached for me, but I didn't take it.

Instead I gripped the fabric of his t-shirt over his stomach, pushing backwards as I ravished him with my eyes. "My pleasure, Edward," I murmured, my tongue darting out to wet my bottom lip as we walked languidly towards his vehicle.

Once we reached the passenger side door, Edward pried my fingers from his shirt and took my hand, turning to press his chest flat against my back. I groaned as his erection pushed against the curve of my ass. "Feel something you want, baby?" he murmured into my ear, his tongue lapping my skin as he twitched against me.

"It's been awhile hasn't it? It's been awhile since I've taken you like we both know you want it. _Hard_," he grunted as he pushed me against the car with his hips before opening the door for me. I was trembling violently as I clamored inside. "Fast," he crooned, running the back of his finger along the column of my throat. "Frenzied," he breathed, watching my mouth as his finger slid up my chin and pushed between my lips. "Wet…"

I moaned and sucked his finger hard inside my mouth, his growl loud and vibrating as he stood straight up and slammed the car door behind him. I watched him move lithely around the car, struggling to keep his human pace as he slid into the driver's seat and lunged at me the moment his door was shut.

He pressed me flat against the back of my seat as his hands gripped the head rest behind me. Our tongues tangled slowly outside of our mouths, our eyes never disconnecting as we slowly tasted each other in the most erotic way. He watched me closely as he released my ponytail, running his fingers slowly through my hair until it was cascading past my shoulders. "The first thing I was going to do…was suck on your sweet pussy right through these."

Faster than I could process, he was cupping me between my legs over the fabric of my pants. "I would have made you feel so good, Bella, but you'd still be begging for my tongue on your clit. I wouldn't give it to you though…not until your top lip was curving up, and your eyelids were fluttering. That's what you do, you know, right before you cum? Your movements become erratic and it feels like the fucking sun is going to explode in the sky when you get close like that. I'd wait until that single fucking moment…and then I'd flick you once. Just once with the tip of my tongue…and drink you as you came pouring into my mouth."

I felt my body sliding down the seat as two of his fingers rubbed me gently. Fuck, it just wasn't enough. "Please…"

"Do you know what I'd do then, beloved?"

His voice was like fire and ice, his fingers constant but teasing through the thin material of my yoga pants. I couldn't breathe.

"Edward…" I panted.

"I'd curl your long, soft hair around my fist and tell you to suck my cock like you fucking meant it."

I cried out and crashed my forehead to his as the power of his words washed through me. I whimpered as his fingers traced my jaw. "But I'd never hurt you, baby. You know I'd never hurt you."

"Are you trying to…_fuck_…are you trying to get me off without touching me again?" I moaned through gritted teeth.

He chuckled darkly. "No, Bella. On the contrary, no one will be getting off at all…not now, anyway."

One minute his fingers were stroking my cheek.

The next, they were pulsing inside of me.

I cried out and spasmed against his body, pushing my hips against his long, cool fingers as he pumped them inside of me. "Do you know how bad I wanted to feel your hot, soaking flesh squeezing my cock?" His voice was strained, desperate.

"Fuck me, please, just fuck me," I demanded, pulling his tongue into my mouth and sucking on it to the rhythm of his fingers.

"I could fuck you," he growled against my lips. "I could fuck you right here…right in this parking lot with all these lingering students nearby. My windows are so dark that no one would know what I was doing to you in here. No one would be able to see your tits bouncing as I fucked you. No one would taste your sweet, intoxicating scent in the air. No one would hear those dirty fucking words on your little tongue. Everything you do is for _me_."

"Everything," I whimpered, trying to move so I could get on top of him, but he held me beneath him.

"I'm not going to though," he whispered, sliding his lips along my jaw and down my neck until he was kissing my bite mark. "Because when your meeting with Angela is through, I'll be waiting in your bedroom. You want to be a vampire, my beautiful girl, then you're going to fucking show me just how carnal you can be. You're going to tear me up, Bella. _Tear me. The fuck. Up."_

Something resembling a growl tore from my lips as I pushed and pulled against him, his hair tight in my fists and our chests pressing firmly together. "Mmm…but not yet," he whispered deeply as he gazed up at me through his dark lashes, removing his fingers from between my legs and holding them in front of his lips.

I watched them glisten with my arousal, my gaze darting back up to watch the blackness of his eyes dilate with hunger. "My favorite meal," he whispered, his dark stare trapped in mine as he sucked me slowly from his fingers.

I groaned painfully as he reached behind me and released the car door. His hand slid beneath my hair and held the back of my neck, pulling me towards him. "You drive me absolutely insane, Bella. God, I want you so fucking much, I can barely stand this."

I moaned and pulled him closer. "Let me cancel," I pleaded.

"No, my love. You'll have me forever…but you'll only have her for a few more months. She needs you, be her friend…and then come back to me." His breath was uneven in my ear. "I wasn't kidding, Bella. I'll be waiting for you. Be _my_ vampire…lose control with me. Fuck me hard, make me feel it. I want your eyes black and I want you snarling, uninhibited, _feral_…claim me as _yours_, baby."

I groaned as he sucked my bite mark hard between his lips. "I love you," he whispered against my skin.

Somehow I managed to climb out of the car with weakened limbs. I watched as he sped away from my sight, the aching need deep within me as he increased the distance between us.

One thing was for certain.

I would have _no_ problem unleashing the vampire within me, because my vamp boy had created one _hell_ of a monster.

x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0x0

I was the epitome of a dutiful friend. I listened intently when Angela told me about her hesitations with Ben, offering advice to ease her anxiety. I laughed with her when she told me about his awkward fumbling when he confessed his feelings for her. I smiled when she told me they were going on a date the following weekend, despite her paranoia about whether or not she was making the right choice. I encouraged her to come out of her shell and embrace the way she felt about him, not to cower behind her doubts.

We began talking about Edward's presence in my life and how it intertwined with my new behavior. I didn't hesitate in telling her the way I was around the rez boys versus my angelic persona at school. When I explained to her that I was truly neither one of those people, she was sincerely happy that I didn't feel like I had to hide anymore.

It felt great to have someone to talk to. Not about mythical creatures, the inevitable finale to my human life, or the dangers looming in the distance. On the surface, I was just a teenage girl, gushing about my boyfriend over a cup of steaming coffee.

But on the inside, I was completely unhinged.

He left me wanting.

He always did, but now…the roar of dominance inside of me was deafening. I wanted to scream and flip the table…I wanted to get in my truck and take out anything standing in my way of _Edward fucking Cullen_. And when I had him…when I _finally_ had him in my grasp, I was going to do exactly what he asked of me.

_Tear him up._

He had no fucking idea what he created inside of me.

I stole greedy glances at the clock every few seconds, calculating how much time I had left to ravage him as the secondhand ticked on. My father had called me on the way to the diner, saying he would be fishing with Billy till around eight, and after that he wanted to catch up with me.

Home by five, pound the shit out of my vamp boy for two hours, find out what the deal was with Victoria, and hang out with my old man until it was bed time…where I could ravage my vampire all over again.

I wouldn't miss sleep.

By the time my conversation with Angela began winding down, I was close to losing control. When we finally parted ways and I climbed into my truck, I took a moment to catch my breath, to steady my shaking hands and to just get an overall grip on myself.

I needed this…and he knew it.

I was angry that we had to endure James and his fucked up games. I was angry that Victoria was alive and left for us to deal with. I knew it was wrong and maybe even a bit irrational, but I didn't think it was fair that we had to be saddled with her, that Edward had to revisit the demons of his past when he was finally starting to let them go.

And more than anything, even though I knew he would forever be mine, I couldn't deny my deeply suppressed fear that something--or someone--would be taking him away from me.

I needed a release, and he was strong enough to take all my uncertainties.

I couldn't get home fast enough.

The fog was thick and the sky was a murky dark gray by the time I pulled into my driveway. There was no evidence that he was there…but I felt him.

I climbed one stair at a time, calculating my steps and inhaling thickly, trying to take his scent from the dry air around me. I breathed his chocolate and his sex hungrily, my eyes narrowing as I reached the top of the stairs.

I chuckled darkly as I slowly creaked my door open, leaning against the frame as I gazed upon the delectable sight sprawled across my bed.

A pale, strong boy in nothing but jeans, his arms crossed over his bare chest as he smirked at me with pure sin. I felt a rumbling in my chest.

"Hi honey, did you have a nice time with your friend?" he murmured in a deviant tone, his question incredibly domestic but his intent anything but.

He leaned up from the head board, his nostrils flaring as he took me in. He didn't resemble a human in that moment, his subtle movements blurring with speed, his eyes so black that the white was nearly non-existent.

Oh, how I wanted to be his vampire.

"It was great, baby," I smiled, lifting his sweatshirt over my head and tossing it to the side. "But…I was a little uncomfortable."

He growled softly as I twisted my nipple through the silky fabric of my bra. "What was the problem, love?" he breathed, stealthily palming his erection before pushing his hair from his forehead.

I reached around and unhooked my bra, letting it fall to the floor but never breaking our eye contact. "Well, you worked me up before I left and now I feel really wet and…_tender_--down there."

"Hmm…why don't you let me make it better?" he crooned, popping the button of his pants and kneeling on the edge of the bed.

"I don't know," I whispered shyly, pushing the rest of my clothes off of my body until I was standing naked before him. "You weren't very nice to me."

His fingers traced my jaw. "But I'm always nice to you, Bella…"

"You teased me," I pouted, casting my eyes downward and feasting upon the massive bulge in his pants. "Do you know what I do to people who tease?" I looked up at him beneath my lashes as his lip turned upward in response.

"Tell me."

I grabbed his cock hard in my fist and squeezed until my fingers were trembling. "I don't let them cum until they fucking _beg_ me," I growled, pushing him backwards with my grip on his crotch until he was lying flat on his back.

His chest was rising and falling hastily, his eyes alight with arousal and dare I say a touch of nervousness. He wanted me feral, and that was exactly what he was going to fucking get. I pressed my hand flat against his sternum and straddled his thighs, not lowering myself on top of him but studying him intently.

I watched the dark auburn trail of hair that stretched below his belly button and disappeared beneath his temptingly popped button. I wanted to taste it…

…and so I did.

His stomach muscles clenched as my tongue traced his aptly named treasure trail, the hair scratchy but soft against my skin. I dipped down beneath his released button, dragging my teeth back up slowly before biting down over his belly button. I longed for the day when my teeth could sink into his flesh. "Take them off," I demanded forcefully.

He smirked at me, panting softly at my command as he lifted his leg to sit up. Slowly he ran it between my legs before settling against the bed. I moaned at the feel of denim against my throbbing core, and glared at him threateningly. "Play nice, vamp boy."

"Shall I call you Mistress?" he chuckled breathlessly. The next moment he was relieved of his clothing, his palms flat against the mattress as he leaned backwards. I slid up his body until I was resting against his parted thighs.

"Call me yours," I whispered, reveling in how beautiful his aching cock looked, pushing against his lower abdomen.

"Bella," he growled, leaning forward and attempting to take my mouth. I stopped him, shaking my head.

"Show me how you touched yourself when you thought about me."

He gazed at me a moment before licking his bottom lip, his right hand lifting from the mattress and tentatively wrapping around his shaft. His eyes were like flames from the hottest fire as he stared at me intently, his palm sliding upwards until his thumb slid over the head of his cock.

"Stop," I demanded, parting my lips. "That's mine…"

He hummed deeply in the back of his throat, releasing his cock and giving me the thumb that was sticky with his pre-cum. I lapped him with thick strokes of my tongue, only letting him go when I sucked every last drop of flavor from his skin.

"Get me wet," he growled, running his palm back and forth over the tip of his cock.

I kneeled and hovered above him. "Get yourself wet."

I bit my lip and clenched my eyes shut as he ran his fingers up and down my slit, collecting my wetness until he was glistening with my arousal.

"Oh, Bella…" he smirked, shaking his head slowly from side to side. I could almost read his mind in that moment.

_The things I'm going to do to you._

_I'm going to fuck you so hard._

_You're going to be screaming my name when you cum on my cock._

But he never finished his sentence, just slid his open hand up and down the underside of his cock before gripping himself firmly in his fist.

"Mmmm," he moaned, looking up at me with his darkened gaze. "Is this what you want?"

"Yeah, that's what I want," I nodded, licking my lips. "Now tell me what you thought about." His thighs twitched underneath me as I began rubbing my clit gently.

His voice was strained as he spoke. "I thought about your big brown eyes staring up at me, those pink little lips wrapped around my cock."

I moaned in response.

His fist was moving swiftly up and down his swollen shaft. "I thought about your long dark hair, spread across your smooth, white skin." He swallowed thickly, closing his eyes. "My name on your tongue…begging for me, desperate for _me_."

"How did it feel, pretending you had me like that?" I watched as he squeezed the head of his cock harder with each pass he made along his throbbing skin.

"It felt like I had the whole fucking world in my hands," he nearly whimpered, his eyebrows pulling together as he sat up further. "Like I could do anything, because I was yours."

My hand covered his and I pulled it away, entwining our fingers that were moist and heated with my arousal. I slid up his body until I was straddling his hips, careful not to touch him where he wanted me most. "But you _are_ mine," I whispered, our eyes meeting significantly as I tightened my grip on his hand. "You are mine."

I reached between us and gently wrapped my fingers around his cock, letting the tip barely rest against me. He twitched viciously in my hand. "Bella," he groaned.

"You're so close, aren't you baby?" I smiled sweetly, running our entwined fingers along his cheek.

"Put me inside of you," he demanded through gritted teeth.

I shook my head slowly. "No."

I pushed myself tighter against him, circling the head of his cock gently against my clit before sliding him against my entrance and back up again. I felt the coolness of his pre-cum seeping against my hot skin, and I shuddered as a jolt of pleasure spread throughout my body.

"You're torturing me," he accused.

"Mmmm…how does it feel?" I smirked.

"Heaven and hell," he murmured, brushing a bead of sweat from my forehead and bringing his finger between his lips. "So sweet…"

"You know what to do," I whispered seductively, kissing his mouth ever so gently.

I watched his throat bob as he swallowed heavily. "Please…"

"What was that?" I questioned, tightening my grip around his cock.

"Fuck! Please, Bella. Please let me be inside you. Please let me cum…"

"Hmm, I'll think about it," I smiled, tapping my bottom lip quizzically.

His growl was deep as I released him from my grip, sitting back on his thighs as I swept my fingers through my hair. "I thought about you too, you know." I ran my hand across my neck and slowly down my body until I was caressing my wet skin. "I thought about you constantly, since the second I laid eyes on you."

I suppressed a moan as he took himself in his hand once more. I grabbed his wrist and glared at him threateningly. "Don't you dare…it's my turn."

He exhaled shakily, reaching forward to touch me before I stopped him abruptly. "No, put your hands on the bed…you don't get me yet."

He began shaking violently, and I knew I had him right where I wanted him.

Once he started behaving himself, I let my fingertips linger across my abdomen and beneath my belly button until I was rubbing my wet skin gently. "Do you want me to tell you how I fantasized about you? What I thought about while I played with my pussy?"

"Jesus Christ, Bella," he growled, fisting his hair as he panted heavily.

"At first I just wanted to crawl beneath our lab table and suck you hard into my mouth. Sometimes your eyes were golden…other times they were pitch black." I moaned deeply as I slid a finger inside me. "I preferred them black, because I could tell you were one step closer to losing control."

I began rocking on my hand, watching closely as his narrowed eyes darted between my face and the place where my fingers disappeared inside my body. His breathing was rough, a steady growl deep in his throat as his cock twitched against his rock hard stomach.

"Every night I'd lay here in this very bed, wondering why I needed you so badly when I didn't even know you at all. I tossed and turned in these sheets, wet and aching because I needed you to touch me…I needed you to want me."

"You have no idea how badly I wanted you," he murmured darkly, his legs tensing as I moved above him.

"I'd close my eyes and think about your long fingers, and how they'd feel when you stroked me slowly." I shuddered as he began swirling his fingers against the mattress, mirroring my exact movements inside my body. "I thought about how your face would look when you entered me, your jaw slack but your eyes on fire as you pumped me with your massive cock."

"I'll gladly refresh your memory, beloved, if you'd just fucking get on me already," he growled through gritted teeth, his hands fisting against the mattress.

I smiled widely. "I'm shocked Edward, where is your patience?"

"I have none…let me touch you."

I shook my head slowly. "Not yet."

Even though I was enjoying the power I held over him, part of me still wished he would snap and ravage me like I knew he was aching to do.

But I was certainly having my fun.

"Mostly," I whispered, bringing my bottom lip between my teeth. "Mostly I fantasized about how it would feel when you tasted me. Mmm…how your hair would tickle my thighs as you sucked my hot skin into your mouth, you lips glistening with my juices…I could cum right now just thinking about it."

"Cum in my mouth," he demanded.

I smiled sweetly. "You want a taste, don't you baby?"

He hissed as I removed my fingers from between my legs, my wetness sounding out quietly as I did so. I leaned forward, resting my other hand on his thigh as I slid my finger back and forth against his bottom lip. "Keep your tongue in your mouth, Edward," I muttered distractedly, watching his skin glisten with my arousal.

I dropped my hand to his other thigh, resting my full weight on his body as I brought my face inches from his. Our eyes met instantly, his entire body trembling as I teased him with my scent. "You don't get to taste me until I say you can," I murmured, closing the distance between us and sucking his lip into my mouth, removing my flavor from his skin and cleaning him of every last drop. "So good," I breathed.

"Bella, I can't," he groaned, the sheets ripping beneath his fingers. "Please…"

I slid my hand between my legs, rubbing myself languidly as I kissed his lips gently. "Since you asked so nicely."

I lifted my hand from my body and began tracing my nipple, letting my arousal coat my hard bud until the contact was almost painful.

He was ready to attack.

"Take it," I growled.

I cried out loudly as he frantically sucked my breast into his mouth. I had one hand tightened in his hair while my other gripped his cock desperately, stroking him shallowly as his tongue pressed flat against my nipple.

I arched into his awaiting mouth, sliding his shaft along the length of my slit and rubbing against him thickly as he sucked me. He was so unbearably hard against my swollen skin, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I pushed both of us over the edge.

"So sweet," he whispered breathlessly, his teeth sliding carefully along the swell of my breast. "So fucking sweet…Don't stop, Bella, don't stop…" he moaned, thrusting his hips to gain friction against my hot skin.

I pushed him backwards until he released my nipple with a pop; my hand wrapped gently around his cock was the only connection we still had. The desperate words began pouring out of his mouth. "You are going to make me lose my fucking mind. You can't do this to me. Damnit, Bella, just please let me fucking cum, let me have you!" He pleaded frantically, his body jerking in uneven tremors as I held his cock firmly in my hand.

"Edward," I breathed, pushing the pad of my thumb against his tip with as much force as I could muster.

He gasped loudly in response.

"I want it all…right _fucking_ now."

The next instant he was fully sheathed inside of me, and his deep groan exploded in the silence of the room as he shuddered beneath me.

My eyes rolled back into my head as he filled me with his cum, my hands coming down on his chest with a slap as I slammed my hips forcefully against his. He grew so incredibly hard inside of me…and I just snapped.

I was coming down on him as hard and fast as my body would allow me, our skin slapping loudly together as the room suddenly came to life with our frenzy and desperation.

"Bella," he groaned loudly as if he were in pure torment, his hands gripping my hips firmly as he pulled me down frantically on his cock.

My fingers curled against his skin, my nails dragging over his nipples as I growled--literally growled--in pure euphoria. I felt my eyes narrow, the animalistic need inside of me boiling over as I rocked fervently on top of him.

I stilled my movements abruptly, causing his clenched eyes to widen.

I rode him slowly, barely moving over him as he groaned in agony. "You're a dirty little tease aren't you?"

I bit his chin and smiled up at him. "I learn from the best."

"Fuck me," he growled.

"Nope," I sang, popping the 'p'.

His cock twitched heavily, his fingers tightening around my waist as I kissed him chastely. "Beg me," I challenged, reaching between us and wrapping my fingers around the base of his cock, moving the tip of him languidly inside of me.

"Bella, holy…_Jesus_," he choked, his head falling to my shoulder as he panted rapidly.

"_Beg. Me_," I spat.

A strangled moan fell from his lips.

"How bad do you want it?" I whispered vehemently.

"So bad," he hissed, his hands trembling at my waist.

I gripped his hair at the back of his head and yanked until he was staring up at me. "I'm so close to giving you everything you've ever wanted…don't fucking fight me on this…now _beg_."

His growl was vicious as his wild black eyes met mine. "I'm begging you, _Isabella_, please, fuck me…please just fuck me before I lose my _goddamn_ mind. Take me!" he snarled loudly, my own feral cry mirroring his as I slammed down viciously on his cock.

Everything became blurry and hot as I bounced on him as fast as I could, our groans deep and animalistic as we finally let ourselves go. "Make me cum on you…make me fucking cum _hard _on you!" I demanded hastily, his carnal roar filling the room as he lifted us from the bed. Before I could register our movement, my desk was cleared of its belongings and I was on sitting on top of it, his cock still buried deep inside of me.

"Let me," he whispered frantically. "Let me, Bella…fucking give it back to me, please…_please_," he mumbled almost incoherently.

I knew exactly what he needed, what we both needed in that moment.

It was liberating, watching him plead for my touch. His need for me was like my own personal drug, making me lightheaded but empowered as he succumbed to my command. As good as it made me feel, I couldn't deny the fact that I needed my fucking vamp boy back…I needed his dominance like I needed the air in my lungs. "Yes," I moaned, pulling his hair tight in my fist. "You need to make _me_ beg for it…I'm yours and I want you to fucking prove it to me. Show me, Edward. I want to plead for your cock, _make_ me…"

"You want to cum?" he growled, his fingers digging into my skin as he began pumping me furiously. "I'm going to make you fucking _scream_, Bella, do you understand me? You can tease me with that sweet little pussy of yours, but I'm going to make you one promise." He thrust inside of me as deep as he could go, the desk slamming into the wall as he pulled me down and held me against him. His voice was wet on my ear as the vibrations of his growl tickled my skin. "Mmmm, you evil, sexy girl; you're going to be cumming on me until you beg me to fucking _stop_."

His eyes were uninhibited as he gazed at me, his hands releasing my ass and curling around the edge of the desk as he tipped it up, slamming into me at a speed only he could reach. I couldn't hang onto my dominance any longer…all I could do was wrap my arms around his neck and hold on tight as he ravaged me with every ounce of need inside of him.

And he kept his promise.

Holy fuck…did he ever keep his promise.

***EPOV***

I couldn't stop.

I knew our time was wearing thin…I knew there was still so much to discuss before her father came home and we had to part.

But I just wanted one more.

One more cry of ecstasy from her lips.

One more clench of her hot pussy around my cock.

One more bead of her sweat dripping on my chest.

One more suck on her pink, swollen nipple.

I couldn't fucking stop.

She was steadily whimpering now, her orgasms washing through her body faster than either one of us could process. My vampire stamina was being put to the test as I came in her, on her, around her…and just kept right on fucking going.

It would never be enough.

She was exhausted, her legs shaking as she hovered in front of me on all fours, her sweet ass on display for my viewing pleasure. I ran my palm up and down her spine before exploring the curve of her ass and down between her spread legs.

She was so swollen, so hot…and I just wanted _one_ fucking more.

"Bella," I panted, pushing my ever hard cock against her drenched opening. "I want you to fuck me just like this, baby. Take what you want from me…_take it_."

"Oh God," she cried, pushing her forehead against her arm and wiggling her ass against my persistent cock. I gripped myself firmly and pushed the head slightly inside her, moaning loudly as she slid slowly back on my aching erection.

"Edward," she whimpered, her body trembling hard enough to make the bed shake. "Oh fuck…Edward, I need…"

I was transfixed on the sight of her tight pussy sliding back and forth on my cock…it was fucking beautiful. I ran the back of my hand up and down her heated flesh. "Tell me what you need, love. I'll do anything for you," I murmured, my eyes closing as she groaned deeply and shoved back hard against me.

_My God, this girl…_

"Tell me," she whispered breathlessly.

I reached around her and caressed her throbbing skin, leaning forward until my chest was flat against her back. "I love you," said firmly, my lips sliding behind the back of her ear as I kissed her gently. "Bella, you're everything to me…you're _everything_." I moaned shakily as I pressed my hips against her backside, reveling in the feel of our bodies swaying as we worked together, like we always fucking would. "Love isn't enough," I growled. "It's never enough…"

I inhaled her overwhelming arousal, beginning to mix in with the salt of her tears. "Edward, if I cum…God, if I cum one more time, I'm going to fall apart. I can't think, I can't breathe, I'm too far gone…please…"

I pulled her against me gently, shifting until we were laying side by side, her leg wrapped around my hip with her back to my chest. My movements inside of her were shallow but heavy as we rocked together. "I'm here, baby," I breathed, pulling her tighter against my chest and kissing her neck slowly. "Give me one more, love, and I promise I'll hold you together."

I felt her hot walls shuddering around me, another climax threatening to crash over her as she frantically grasped at my neck. "Tighter…hold me tighter, I don't care if it hurts."

I mirrored my strength to that of earlier this morning, my embrace that pieced her back together on that high precipice as _he_ threatened to tear our sanity apart. It terrified me to hold her like this, but I would do anything she asked of me. Fucking anything.

I felt my orgasm building quickly, her slick skin sliding on me like a fitted glove. I buried my nose in her damp, wild hair, barely moving my hips against her as our skin slid together on its own accord.

"Please," she whimpered, moving against me in uneven patterns as she gripped my cock tighter inside of her.

I was breathing so heavily I felt like I would hyperventilate, which was impossible for me, yet she made me feel like I could. She gave me _life. _I fought to push the sickening thought of not having her every moment like this, and the fear of how she would react to the sacrifices we would undoubtedly have to make.

"Oh God…fuck, fuck, fuck," she mumbled incoherently, pulling my face against her neck as she began slowly unraveling in my arms. I kissed her gently, swiveling my hips faster as the earth-shattering sensation built deep within me.

"Come on," I moaned, my fingers dropping to her wet skin and massaging her in frantic circles. "One more…_fuck_, one more, Bella…give it to me."

I clenched my eyes and let the blinding light surround me, her screams deafening and miraculous as she thrashed against my tensing body. We trembled hard, so fucking hard as wave after wave of pleasure slithered throughout our limbs. I couldn't focus on anything but her sticky skin, her whimpering cries, and our words of love for each other as they cradled us in the overpowering warmth of her bed.

***BPOV***

I felt like I was floating as I rested limply in his arms. Usually after moments like these, his cool body would soothe me from the hours of passion we gave each other, but this time…he was just as warm as I was. It felt amazing to me.

I clung to him tighter as he lifted me up. I heard running water in the background a moment later as he ran his fingers through my hair. "Open your eyes, Bella," he whispered, tracing my jaw until my eyes fluttered open. He smiled tenderly at me, lifting me until I was sitting on his knee. "Make sure it's warm enough."

He nodded towards the tub and I stuck my hand inside, my fingers dancing along the water as I smiled widely. It was warm but not hot, perfect for my overheated skin. "It's just right," I murmured, laughing as he lifted me abruptly and set me inside.

He watched me closely as his hands slid up and down my thighs, spreading the water across my body. "Are you all right, Bella?"

I pushed away the furrow of worry between his brows and smiled happily. "I'm so unbelievably all right…I don't even have to words to describe it."

He kissed my cheek. "That's all I need to know."

"Aren't you going to get in?" I asked, looking down to see him clad in nothing but his boxer briefs.

"No," he sighed, gazing at me reverently. "I just want to admire you like this."

I covered his hand as it slid across my body. "I love you," I whispered softly.

He smiled. "And I love you…now let me wash you. You're so _dirty_," he smirked, winking at the secret only we knew.

"You're pretty dirty yourself, vamp boy," I chuckled, poking at his chest.

"A match made in heaven," he murmured.

My eyes met his significantly. "There's no doubt."

We were quiet as his hands slid over my body, my fingers twisted with his as they made their path along my skin. His eyes were troubled as he stared at me, and I knew it was time.

"She has agreed to give our lifestyle a chance," he began hesitantly.

"Okay…" I drifted off.

He paused, seemingly trying to find the right words as his hand wrapped around the curve of my hip. "It's hard to say where her state of mind is at this point. She's trying to appear volatile, but there's so much pain beneath it all."

There was a long silence.

"And I'm positive that there's good inside of her as well," he added.

I nodded encouragingly. "That's great, Edward."

His face was contorted, and I pulled him closer over the edge of the tub. "Whatever it is, baby, we'll get through it. Just tell me."

He rested his forehead against mine but never opened his eyes, kissing my lips repeatedly before distancing himself. "Carlisle believes she needs to be relocated out of the area. If she's going to adapt to animal blood, she needs to be someplace where there aren't humans to tempt her."

_Victoria getting out of town? I could totally get on board with that._

"That's understandable," I shrugged.

"Bella…" He kissed both of my hands and looked into my eyes with a steady resolve. "Our extended family in Alaska has offered to help with her, but it isn't their responsibility to fix her."

"So what are you saying?" I asked, the anxiety building in my chest.

"I'm saying…my family is being gracious enough to assist me in nursing her back to health. She will stay in Alaska until she's fully adapted but…we'll be taking turns working with her. Bella, I'm saying that I'll need to go there. Not for long intervals but for days at a time I would be in Alaska, helping her adjust to this new life."

I closed my eyes and processed his words. It made sense to keep her away from humans. It made sense that his family shouldn't have to fully take on the girl that he felt responsible for. But it still hurt so fucking much…because he was going to leave me.

"How many days?" I whispered.

His hand was attempting to be soothing as it ran up and down my back. "I'm not sure, love. If I had to guess, I'd say it would add up to a week out of the month."

I was quiet again, trying to picture an entire week without the other half of my soul.

"And how many months?"

He sighed in defeat. "I don't know."

My mind was racing.

His words were urgent as he spoke. "If you tell me not to do this, then I won't, Bella. I'll tell Carlisle to relieve me of this burden…if you tell me not to leave you then I swear, I will never, ever go."

I lifted my wet hand from the water and rested it on his forearm, silently telling him to give me a minute. He groaned and pressed his forehead against my temple.

To an outsider, it might seem ridiculous to be panicking about being away from the love of your life for a handful of days. But we weren't exactly your typical couple, and just the few hours that we were apart today had nearly made me lose my mind.

And he'd be with _her._

"Does she want you?" I asked despondently, watching the water ripple around my trembling legs.

In a blur he peeled off his boxers and slid in the tub behind me, surrounding me in his embrace. "If she does, her mind was vacant of it. More than anything, she wanted to find a love like you and I have."

That didn't placate my fears.

"You can't really be worried about her intentions with me, Bella. You can't honestly question my devotion to you."

"I don't," I whispered, closing my eyes and fighting to control my involuntary trembling as his lips found my neck.

So this was our sacrifice…

As much as it pained me to think of time spent without him, I also had to remember that, ultimately, I would have _endless_ amounts of time with him. Not with Charlie, not with Angela, and definitely not with my boys.

Didn't I have loose ends to tie up before I abandoned this life for good? This would be the ideal time to handle any unfinished business…and make my father realize that even though we wouldn't be together physically, we would always have each other where it mattered most.

As unbearable as the distance would be, I knew this was an important step in our path to eternity.

I turned in his arms, connecting with his eyes before kissing him slowly. "I don't know what I'll do without you," I whispered, the betraying tears rolling down my cheeks as I held his face in my hands. "But I think it's important that you go. You need to rid yourself of all this guilt, baby, and I know there's only one way to do that."

I looked up to meet his gaze as I continued. "I can't stay away from you…I physically can't. But I need to know I did everything I could to enjoy my loved ones before I let them go. So as much as this is going to hurt us, maybe its necessary. Maybe a little space is what we need."

Truly, I didn't want any fucking space between us, but I had to try and focus on the bigger picture.

"Bella…" he murmured, shaking his head slowly. "Promise me you want this life with me. Promise me…"

I looked deeply into his honey-crimson eyes. "I've never been more certain of anything in my life, Edward. Take the time to fix her, while I show the people in my life how much I love them before I take my leave."

He held me tightly against him, his mouth loving and slow against mine. "Once this is over with, we'll never have to part again."

I smiled warmly. "Then the temporary distance will be worth it in the end."

We watched each other until Edward sighed deeply, his forehead falling against mine. "Your father is pulling in," he murmured.

I wrapped my arms around him, our cheeks pressed tightly together as I hugged him securely. "I love you," I breathed, kissing his earlobe gently.

"Bella, I love you," he murmured, rubbing my back slowly until my front door slammed.

He climbed out of the tub at a human pace, staring down at me one last time as he caressed my cheek. "I won't be far, my love."

I kissed his fingers as they ghosted across my lips. "I know you're always with me," I whispered, letting the tears well up in my eyes.

I greedily stared into his intense gold until he disappeared from my sight, the air swirling from the speed at which the door was opened and closed.

There was still so much I didn't know, but one thing was for certain…no matter how empty I would be without him, my job first and foremost was to support him. If that meant letting him go, then I was prepared to do so.

At least I hoped I was.

x

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**This chapter would be utter crap without my love, my beta…Isabel. I couldn't do this without her.**

**Thanks to my twitter girls for being ready to bust some knee caps for me! To my twin LazyKate for being my homeslice and always sharing brainwaves with me. To all my readers who continue to send me amazing words of encouragement, and last but not least, to M. loves. Lemons for giving me sexy music to write lemons to! **

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**See you next time! **


	17. The Distance

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

***BPOV***

_Everything was so unbelievably distorted around me, and I couldn't understand why. I felt the fabric of his t-shirt pressing against my cheek, my eyes unblinking but the tears rolling down despite my emotionless expression._

_I clenched his shirt in my fists, my body unmoving but my mind entirely aware of my surroundings. So utterly aware._

_I tightened my legs around his waist as he arched beneath me, his arms wrapping forcefully around my torso and tightening until I couldn't move from his grasp. I heard Alice in the background, chattering incessantly to Edward, mixing with the deep tenors of Emmett and Jasper's quiet discussion behind her._

_But their simple words weren't even making sense to me._

"_You need to go now," he murmured, his chest vibrating against mine. Already I ached for it._

_The room was silent a moment later, the bed shifting slightly as Edward adjusted me in his lap. My eyes fell upon the freshly repaired wall, the place where my vamp boy had James pinned only a week ago._

_How different our lives were then._

"_Oh Bella," he sighed, his voice quivering like my body now was._

_It was almost time._

_I felt something that resembled a sob building deep within me, my hands pulling at his shirt until I could hear the fabric stretching in my grip. It was dark in the room now, nothing but small glimpses of the moon dashing in and out of the fickle clouds._

_I couldn't bear to open my eyes again, because there was no doubt he would look breathtaking in the gentle illumination of the night._

"_Where's my strong girl?" he murmured gently, his fingers strumming slowly through my hair as his lips caressed my forehead._

"_Just…gone," I breathed, finally taking a chance and connecting with his crimson-honey eyes. My skin still tingled and burned with the sensation of his teeth in my body. It had been hours since he'd been inside me, but I felt him with every shift of my body, every palpitation of my heart._

_I'd feel him in me when there was no part of him in sight._

_I was so tired, but nothing would will me to sleep._

_Not the hours of love we had made, bidding each other farewell._

_Not the blood I begged him to take from my body, sending him away from me fully satiated._

_I knew that if I fell asleep, I would be waking up alone…and I just wasn't fucking prepared for that._

_He gently laid me on my side, shifting so my back was pressed against his chest. He tangled our legs and wrapped his entire body around me, entwining our fingers on both hands. "I'm leaving everything I have inside of me here with you. Everything, Bella."_

"_I thought I was ready," I cried, shivering inside of his embrace._

"_Shhhh," he soothed, kissing my jaw until his lips were moving slowly over my tender bite mark. "Nothing could have ever prepared us for this. All we can do is try to hold ourselves together, and remember that this is merely ninety-six hours out of our eternity that we won't have each other."_

"_I want to go with you," I whispered, bringing his hand to my mouth and kissing it softly._

"_You can't, baby," he murmured, his leg slipping between mine languidly. "You need to be here for your father…and I need to fix something that never should have been broken to begin with."_

_I was drowning in our scents combined, his body heavy on top of me even though he was using minimal pressure. I cried out softly when he reached behind him, distancing his body when I needed it so ardently. A moment later his cheek was pressed against mine, his long fingers tracing my skin before presenting the ring he had shown me over a week ago in this very room._

_His mother's ring._

"_We're more than this, Bella," he spoke forcefully, rubbing my ring-finger between his thumb and index finger. "We're more than this ring, more than the bodies that contain our souls, more than this world. And if there's one thing I can promise, it's that you will never be without my love. I can't begin to tell you how desperately I'm at your mercy."_

_My heart was thrumming too rapidly, my chest felt like it was expanding from his words and his touch and the pure torment and joy of this moment._

"_I love you," he whispered so softly, his lips pressing against my ear. He placed kisses along my jaw, his body trembling behind me as he held his mother's ring above my ring-finger. "Wear this for me, my sweet, beautiful girl? I know this ring can't be worn on this finger when you're around others, but it will make our distance that much more tolerable, knowing that it's on your body, touching you like I'll be longing to do."_

_My tears were falling rapidly, my sight blurring as he gently placed the ring onto my left finger. "And when you're alone, and you can think of nothing but us in this bed, wear it right here, Bella. And know that your love, your devotion is the only thing that will keep me going. I'm fucking nothing without you, beloved."_

_I turned in his embrace, gripping his shoulders firmly and pushing him backwards until I was straddling his waist. I watched my tears as they fell against his hard skin, the shimmering wetness catching in the moonlight and I just never fucking wanted him to let me go. I pressed my forehead against his and he groaned deeply as he clawed at his belt buckle frantically, pushing his jeans past his hips and pulling me down hard against his body. I lifted my skirt with a need that blinded and frenzied me within the blink of an eye, moaning desperately as I pulled my underwear to the side, losing myself in the pure love in his eyes as he entered me._

_He cried out my name and the sound was tormented beauty. It seemed unfair that our pleasure almost always went hand in hand with our most fervent pain. He held my hips and I rode him heavily, my forehead never leaving his and my fingers pushing into his shoulders. _

"_I love you," I sobbed, moaning loudly as his lips pressed against the ring on my finger and his hips lifted me straight off the bed. "I love you so fucking much, Edward Cullen. I'll wear your ring, I'll never take it off…please…"_

_I couldn't catch my breath as my tears fell against him, his mouth moving frantically against mine as we rocked together. "You're my life," he groaned into my skin, repeating it over and over as he crushed my body against his._

_I closed my eyes and clung to him with everything I had inside of me, memorizing how entirely he filled me, the words of love he whispered into my ear, how gentle his hands caressed my skin, and the scent of the man I was put on this earth for…_

_Please bring him back to me, I silently prayed into the night._

_Please don't let this be the last._

**~*~ Two Months Later ~*~**

I woke with a start as my memories came flooding back to me, the first night he left me so potently real in my mind that it took my breath away. My eyes immediately flew down to the ring nestled on my left finger; it defined everything in my entire world.

Were we getting married? Well duh, yeah, someday. But right now the piece of jewelry that surrounded my finger represented one thing only--our complete and utter devotion to one another.

I brushed my hair away from my forehead, allowing my breathing to catch up with itself as I looked at the red LCD display on my alarm clock. Four-thirty-three a.m. When would I stop waking up at these odd hours of the night when he wasn't here to greet me?

I rested my head back on my pillow and pulled the blankets over my face, breathing deeply as my stomach twisted in its familiar clenches. It would settle if I held very still and didn't blatantly think about the fact that he wasn't lying next to me.

This was the third time he had left me to heal _her._

I prided myself in the fact that I was staying so fucking strong for him…for us. Of course I had my moments. Like the nights that he would leave me. We'd take each other for hours until my body was too exhausted to move, gasping and fighting to hold onto everything before it was ripped away from us. He'd surround me in his arms, my flesh wrapped tightly in his as he whispered significant words into my ear. Words of comfort and love and promises. And when I finally surrendered to my unconsciousness like I inevitably always did, I curled in on myself and prepared to greet the morning alone.

Completely and utterly alone.

Ironically, the greatest pain I ever felt throughout this whole ordeal was during the hours he spent coming home to me. During our first expanse of time apart, we talked on the phone almost obsessively. It was pure relief hearing his voice, the phone always cradled so tightly against my ear as I drank in his voice. On that final day, he told me he was leaving Alaska…that he was running like a desperate, deranged man in order to get to me. That he was losing control…that he was falling apart.

I began trembling at his words, crying and rocking as everything I had kept bottled inside of me over those long days had been released. It ached, knowing he was on his way and yet still not fucking there. That single phone conversation nearly ended me, as my vamp boy completely unhinged on the other end of the line in his need to get to me.

Half way through his journey, he crumbled the phone in his grip, making me even more frantic for him. Luckily I was at his house during the ordeal, leaving Esme to pick up the pieces of what was left of me that were shattered across her living room floor.

I had never felt anything like it.

Needless to say, Edward and I weren't allowed to talk when it was time for him to come back to me. Not only did we refrain from it for our own self-preservation, but our fervent desperation severely effected Edward's parents as well. They were such loving, compassionate people…and it was something I was steadily trying to adjust to.

When he returned to me…when he finally returned to me after our first four and a half days apart, we were very nearly a danger to one other. I felt him like a breeze across my skin, my body shaking and my breathless voice pleading as I felt our distance wearing thin. His front door was quite literally busted off of its hinges as he lunged at me, tackling me to the ground almost gracefully and kissing me so frantically it ached. I laughed maniacally and cried frantically as we loved each other, not knowing what was going on around us but assuming everyone had cleared out, because we knew better than anyone that we were just too fucking much to be around.

Our reunions were always so incredibly powerful.

During our second time apart, Alice was there to comfort me when my restless dreams insisted that I awake in the middle of the night. Wordlessly, she took me to Esme. I fought not to go into Edward's room, looking down that taunting hallway, but choosing instead to go to my new mother, rather than the earth shattering pain his bedroom would cause me with his absence.

Carlisle called his wife at some point throughout that night, my head lifting from her shoulder as my gut told me something I just knew had to be true. He was coming back to me. I heard Carlisle's rich voice faintly echoing through the receiver, asking how I was and saying sweet words that made Esme smile with pure adoration.

She kissed my cheek and handed me the phone; I listened with wide, hopeful eyes, hearing the wind whip around him as he ran swiftly with my vamp boy no doubt by his side. "Bella, we'll be home in about five hours time, sweetheart." I didn't have to ask Carlisle the questions I desperately needed answering because somehow, he just knew. "He's all right…he's holding on, much like you are. This separation won't last forever, Bella."

I begged to talk to Edward against my better judgment, but Carlisle denied me gently, imploring me not to put myself into a situation that would prove to be more traumatic for both Edward and I. He disconnected the call and I fell apart, my body becoming wracked with heaving sobs that couldn't be contained. Esme wrapped me up in her arms and held me as I shook, some mind-numbing rom-com playing in the background as I let the hours and days of our distance release into her embrace. Without her, I wouldn't have survived it.

And now here we were. The third separation…the third time my heart heaved with an indescribable kind of emptiness. I was so fucking strong this time. I got out of bed and went to school, socializing and laughing where need be. I'd come home and cook dinner for Charlie, discussing our day and the things that were going on in our lives. Even at night when I was all alone and the pain insisted on being released from inside me, I still held on, talking to my vamp boy and holding my phone against me like I longed to feel his embrace.

But not knowing _when_ he was coming back left me in a constant state of unease. Every fucking moment I was waiting for that phone to ring, telling me that the relentless ache in my heart would be lessened in five hours time.

I knew I'd fall apart the moment that call came.

A chill ran through me, and I threw the blankets off of my face.

I was met with the wrong pair of golden eyes, staring at me curiously. I sat up quickly, my eyes pleading with her to tell me what I needed to hear. This was just like last time…she came to me in the middle of the night and hours later, I had him wrapped around me. My eyes burned as I gazed at her intently. "Please, Alice," I whispered.

She pulled me in securely for a hug. "Come on, human," she murmured gently, patting my back soothingly. "I want to tell you, but I don't want you to fall apart. Just come with me…Esme wants you with her."

"Why? What's going on?" I shot up from my bed in a flash, closing in on her as she walked backwards toward my window. "Where is he…is he okay? Will he be gone longer? You can't fucking do this to me, Alice." My bottom lip was trembling viciously as I stared her down, automatically assuming the worse considering everything we had gone through in the past.

Alice put her hand on my shoulder and smiled softly. "No one likes a pessimist, Bella. Everyone is fine…everything will be good, _trust me_."

I took several steadying breaths, realizing her evasiveness about Edward's whereabouts was practically a confirmation that he was coming back to me. I fought with everything I had not to let it take me. My attempts were futile; inside of me there was a raging inferno…desperate, maddened, _insane_ for Edward Cullen.

But on the outside, I kept my cool for the people who mattered most.

"Damn, vamp girl, you are such a creeper, staring at me in my sleep." I tried to conjure up a smile, but I was too busy keeping my agonizing cries safely muffled inside myself.

"I like to watch you sleep," she said deeply in her best Edward voice. I clasped at my chest and winced in response.

_Just be normal…just hold the fuck on until you can let it all go, Bella…_

"Charlie--"

"Knows we're going shopping today, so you're free and clear. You've woken up at Four-thirty every night since _he's_ been gone…I know you don't go back to sleep, Bella. We might as well curl up in Esme's California King and engage in a senseless movie to pass the time."

I swallowed thickly. _Be normal._

I pulled Edward's sweatshirt over my head and slid on my chucks, my palm pushing against my racing heart. "Yeah, that actually sounds pretty nice. But what about Rosalie?"

Alice waved her hand absently. "She'll be ignoring us dutifully tonight. After the last time we hung out together and she…_laughed _with us…she's still trying to pretend that she's against the idea of you and Edward."

I popped my collar and smirked, trying to keep my voice even and stop my hands from shaking. "Yeah, everyone falls in love with me after awhile."

"Yep, and that ego effectively puts a stop to it," she smiled, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. "But I still love you anyway."

"Thanks," I said dryly. "Please tell me you brought the Porsche, Alice. Not that I didn't have a blast riding on your back last time, but it's a little awkward."

Alice giggled melodically. "Yeah, I've got the car. But you're hitching a ride out the window. You nearly broke your neck the last time you tried to climb down."

After Alice manhandled me and we safely climbed into her car, we made the drive in relative silence. "So, the big _one-eight _next weekend huh?"

I nodded. "Yep, I'm getting old."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Well, you could be one-_hundred_ and eighteen, so count your blessings."

"Yeah, and it's starting to show," I teased, my lips fighting to turn up into a smile but failing miserably.

She reached over and smacked my arm gently. "Hey, poke fun at me if you must, but my appearance, Bella, really? That was a low blow."

"Oh quit it, vamp girl, you're gorgeous and you know it."

"I know," she sang. "I just wanted to hear you say it."

"Evil," I murmured, pressing my cheek against the window.

"So," Alice drawled slowly, the silence thickening between us. "You wouldn't be opposed to a little soirée in your honor, would you, human?"

I closed my eyes, losing the battle with my insistently painful emotions. "I can't even breathe right now, Alice, and you want me to think about a party?"

Alice took my hand in a sisterly gesture as my eyes filled with tears. "I know, I'm sorry," she whispered despondently.

I sighed deeply and gave her hand a squeeze. "I'm down with a birthday party, vamp girl, you know I am…I just need to get him back before I can think about anything else."

She smiled softly and kissed my cheek, the car mercifully silent for the remainder of our drive.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I entered the Cullen home and kicked off my shoes, inhaling the familiar scent deeply and wrapping my arms tightly around my waist. I had to stay together somehow.

Edward was true to his word when he promised his family he'd try to share me more. It was an effort on both our parts not to stay locked up with each other every moment of the day, but I couldn't ignore my pull to the rest of his family. Even when I had initially met them the night they had me over for dinner, I just knew that we were all meant to be together.

When Edward was gone, it was routine for me to come over and hang out with whoever didn't travel to Alaska that time. Whether it was playing Xbox with Emmett and Jasper, shopping with Alice, bothering Rosalie in the garage against her will, discussing the life I was jumping into with Carlisle, or watching sappy movies with Esme, my time with the Cullens was plentiful…and meant more to me than I could ever begin to explain.

And even though it was difficult to breathe without my vamp boy by my side, I couldn't deny the fact that I was so much closer to my father than I'd ever been before. Part of me wondered if that would only make our impending separation worse, but I quickly admonished that idea. I knew it would be better for both of us in the long run if we spent our time together to the fullest. It was surprising and downright cool to have a philosophical conversation with my father, something I didn't even know was an option. I never hesitated to work a little foreshadowing into our discussions every now and then, hoping that when the time came, it would help ease the loss of his only daughter.

Things at school were looking up as well. Angela and Ben had joined us during lunch hour, giving the elusive Cullens a chance when others would not. For the most part the gossipers were kept at a distance, even though Jessica still made pitiable attempts to flirt with my vamp boy at any given chance.

I had been at the rez several times during Edward's absence, hanging out with my boys, apart from Sam and Embry. They were still a bit sketchy when it came to my presence and while it hurt that we had to be at odds just because of who I was dating, it became easier to appreciate the time I did have with the ones who weren't so quick to judge. The boys still drank and smoked in abundance, but I didn't feel the need to indulge. Sure, I had an occasional drag from a cigarette or a shot of tequila, but I had no need for intoxication when my life had so much to offer me now.

Things had been a lot easier since Jacob had taken over the role as Alpha within the pack. Soon after the James drama, Edward and I had a meeting with Jake to discuss where his disturbance left us, and what it meant now that Jacob was in charge.

"_So basically, Sam had no choice but to relinquish his control, since I'm the rightful Alpha--even though I really didn't fucking want to be," Jake grumbled, stripping the bark off of a nearby tree in an almost nervous gesture. "If I didn't take my birthright, then I imagine you would have been reduced to pebbles, Dracula."_

_Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head softly. "Carlisle told me that Sam considered James's presence the same as my harming Bella."_

_Jake shrugged. "Pretty much. I guess his figuring was, if she's gonna stick with you, than you need to protect her. If you fail at that, you might as well take her out yourself."_

_I scoffed and raised my hand. "Um hi, in case you haven't noticed, SHE is right here, and I don't need a bunch of fucking Neanderthal's babysitting me when danger looms in the distance. I'm not some damsel in distress, Jakehole…I can take care of myself."_

_Jake held his hands up defensively. "Hey, what you choose to do with your life is your business, B. I've made it pretty fucking clear that I support you through whatever, cuz you're my girl. Unfortunately, Sam doesn't see it that way."_

"_Well, Sam's turning out to be a bigger douche than I could have ever imagined," I grumbled. "So what's with the urgency of this meeting then? Is there more that you're not telling us?"_

_Jake's eyes met the ground. "Yeah…well, I don't know how long it's gonna be before Sam goes rogue, so I need you guys to prepare for that."_

"_Sam is no match for my family," Edward pointed out._

"_Yeah, I get that Dracula," Jake sighed. "But no matter how much of an asshole he's being, he's still our boy. I don't exactly want him ending up as vamp food, if you catch my drift."_

_My eyes widened and my heart started pounding rapidly._

_I knew we had our differences, but I never thought it could end up in death…for any of us._

"_Look, I just wanted to keep you all in the loop. Right now I'm planning on revamping--no pun intended--the treaty, modifying it a bit for our um, special situation."_

_I listened as Edward explained to Jake the aftermath of James's arrival, and what he had to do to help Victoria. "Members of my family will always stay behind when I'm gone, but I need to know that you'll be available to patrol the area when I'm not here to do so." Edward took my hands and turned to me. "I'm not asking this of him because I don't think you can handle yourself, Bella. I'll be out of my mind with worry when I'm not with you. More than anything, I need to know the pack will be watching, for my sake."_

_I ran the back of my hand along his cheek and smiled sadly. "I know, baby. It's okay."_

_Jake scoffed and threw his hands in the air. "Oh sure, you chew MY ass when I want to look out for you, but when HE want's to, you're all 'oh it's okay baby.' Such a double standard!"_

_I laughed and kicked Jake's leg playfully. "That's because he can do things for me that you never can."_

_Jake rolled his eyes. "I won't even go there." His tone became serious as he looked between us. "Look, I'm sacrificing a lot for you two, because what you have together…I don't know, you can feel that shit in the air, which is fucked up but it's true. I want you to be happy, B, and I can tell Eddie here is the right way to go about that…for the time being."_

_He paused for a long moment, running his hand through his hair. "I'm not trying to overstep my boundaries here, but I'm hoping you're looking at the big picture, the both of you. You aren't…the same. You're gonna get old, Bella. You're gonna want kids and shit that Dracula just can't offer you. The longer you stay together, the worse it's gonna hurt in the end."_

_I was about to lunge at Jake for sticking his nose where it didn't fucking belong, but Edward held me back. "We realize the odds we're up against, Jacob," he said softly._

"_Yeah, well whatever. Anyway, in a nutshell, the new treaty will be as follows. As long as you adhere to your diet, our pack works with your family when we're in the face of danger. There's no point in being divided when we're fighting the same fight. If that requires going on your land or you on ours, then so be it. The moment any of you fuck up, all bets are off the table, and vice versa. No human killing, no vamp making…that won't ever change. Otherwise, things can go on as normal. There's no reason why we can't get along when shit comes up, right?"_

_I started to object to the 'no vamp making' but Edward pulled me against him, silently telling me not to speak. It seemed like no matter how friendly the wolf pack became with the Cullens, we'd be breaking the treaty regardless._

The week after our meeting, the pack met with Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens, drawing up the new treaty and agreeing to its terms.

Carlisle stared at Edward for a long time before he signed his acquiescence, knowing full well that we would be breaking one of its rules before the year was through. Later Edward informed me that his father was telling him that we could never come back after we went against this sacred bond.

I cried that night, for the friends I was leaving behind and the father I was abandoning. And once my tears had dried, I fully accepted the fate we were creating for ourselves, because nothing would stand in the way of my eternity with Edward.

Sam never did take off or go against the pack. He was still angry as hell about their new partnership with the Cullen's, but there wasn't much he could do besides grin and bear it. During the off-wolf hours, my boys still dealt with less than shady shit, Sam remaining at the forefront of their operations. But when it was time to surrender their humanity to the beasts within, Jake was the only one they adhered to.

"Hello…are you in there?" Alice questioned, waving her hand in front of my eyes and effectively bringing me back to the present. My fingers dug into my sides as I pushed my arms tighter around my body, the pain twisting in my stomach now that I was relieved of my daydream and brought back into the reality where he wasn't beside me.

_But he will be soon._

Fuck, I was going to crawl out of my skin.

"Yeah, I spaced out," I murmured, shaking my head slowly.

Alice looked at me apprehensively and pushed me towards the foot of the stairs. "You know where she is. I just need to make a quick phone call and I'll join you in a bit."

I walked up the staircase, steadying my breathing as I reached the top and looked from side to side.

To the right, Edward's room was tantalizingly calling my name. Just one push of the door and I would be inside it, inhaling my boy's scent and drowning in the soft covers of his bed.

To the left sat my salvation…Esme Cullen. I prided myself on being strong throughout this whole ordeal, but there were still certain moments that had the power to break me.

Like this one.

Esme was the mother I never had. Since the first time I cried in her arms after he left me, I knew that we had something that couldn't be defined. It pained me to sit there and say I never had a mother, especially when the woman who brought me into this world repented for her sins days before she was taken back out of it. I loved my mother, and every day I wished there was a way she could be brought back to life.

But Esme made me feel something I never knew I was capable of. She made me feel like a daughter. And I had never wanted to be anything more than that.

I turned my head from the direction of Edward's room, my fingers reaching out to brush the air that held his very essence. Going in there would unhinge me, and I needed to stay strong for us…especially when the endurance of these last few trying hours would result in the utter relief that made this whole separation worth suffering through.

With slow steps I approached the door to Esme and Carlisle's room, slowly swinging it open to see Esme fluffing the many pillows on her bed. Her smile quickly fell as she took me in, so apparently I looked like complete shit. She walked over to me and with a sigh, tucked me beneath her arm and kissed my forehead. "_Pride and Prejudice_ or _The Hills Have Eyes_?"

I couldn't help but chuckle at the movie choices that Esme presented, considering the contrasting subject matter and also just how much she already knew me. Swooning at Mr. Darcy or laughing at the mutants in the gory horror flick…either one of them would have sufficed in my current mood, and already I felt lighter being in this house.

I quickly vetoed _Pride and Prejudice_, knowing it would do me more harm than good considering the love of my life was now more than likely running frantically to make it back to me.

Mutants it was.

Alice still hadn't returned, so Esme began the movie and we curled up in her gigantic bed. On the table next to the bed sat a large glass of orange soda and freshly popped popcorn, just like last time. "You're going to spoil me with all of this, you know," I smiled softly.

She waved her hand at me dismissively. "You're very easy to spoil, Bella."

I shoved a handful of popcorn into my mouth, observing the bedspread thoughtfully. "Do you think this is stupid?"

Esme looked at me quizzically. "Do I think what is stupid, sweetheart?"

I shrugged, not meeting her eyes. "Edward and I completely losing our minds over four or five days at a time without each other. I mean, if I were looking in at another couple going through the same thing, I'd totally judge them. I'd say they needed to suck it up and get over their severe co-dependency. But when it comes to us, I don't know…it's just so much different."

Esme smiled at me warmly and patted the pillow next to her, tucking me into her side. "Do you really believe you and Edward to be anything like _any other couple_? Don't sell yourselves so short, Bella. As you well know, Carlisle and I can't be together as much as we would like to be, either."

I winced, realizing that I was being entirely selfish in the 'woe is me' department. She was apart from her mate as well, even more so than Edward and I had to be. While I could never really know the connection Esme and Carlisle had, it wasn't hard to guess. The love they had for one another was palpable in the air, and their intensity was always underlying in their soft touches and meaningful eye contact.

"Shit, I'm sorry Esme. Here I am whining about it when you're going through the same thing."

She laughed melodically, running her fingers through my hair. "That wasn't the point I was trying to make, dear. What I'm trying to say is that no matter how much time goes by, or how long you have to be apart from your mate, the pain never really lessens. You learn to manage it easier with time, but the ache of not having your other half with you always takes its toll. Don't ever moderate what you're going through, sweetheart. The connections we have with our mates, well, it's impossible to describe. Even in the face of eternity, hours can feel like an unbearable amount of time. We just have to manage it the only way we know how, by carrying on, and reveling in the much more plentiful moments when we are with the ones we belong to."

"I don't think I'm supposed to feel this much, when my body is so fallible," I murmured, wrapping my arms around my waist.

"Maybe you aren't, Bella," Esme said softly. "Believe me, my husband has many theories as to how a human such as yourself could possess so many qualities that bear resemblance to us. Your connection to Edward is one of them. True love…it's a powerful thing, which is why the majority of humans don't ever get to experience it. But when you're physically indestructible and the pure power of that connection is readily unleashed, it can be terrifying and so overwhelmingly strong that you sometimes don't know what to do with it. The fact that you're trying to grasp onto it while still breakable is amazing to me, Bella. Don't you dare for one minute think you aren't doing an adequate job of dealing with this time away from your mate. Honestly, I'm quite impressed with how strong you've been throughout all this. Carlisle isn't the only one anxious to see your true potential set free, once you're made vampire."

I smiled at Esme, tears burning my eyes that I willed not to fall. It was unbelievable how easily she put things into perspective for me. At that moment Alice came skipping into the room, jumping onto the bed and pushing in between us. "What did I miss?" she sang, throwing her arms around our shoulders.

I laughed and we settled in, a distant buzzing coming from my pocket breaking me away from the moment. I knew they heard it but didn't acknowledge it, and I slowly opened my phone to bring me one forbidden message that warmed me and pulled at me viciously from the inside out.

_God, Bella…_

Two words. Eight letters that had told me more than hours of profound conversation ever could.

They told me everything.

I pressed my phone against my aching heart and held my breath as the stubborn tears finally fell, pushing my forehead against Alice's shoulder and concentrating on the air leaving my lungs. I could almost hear the seconds passing by, the empty air in the room and the inaudible sounds that occupied my world when he wasn't around me.

He was just so fucking close…

…but unbearably far away.

***EPOV***

I walked into Eleazar's home with my hair pulled tightly into my fists, the distance taking its toll on me like clockwork.

There was only so long I could go without her.

Victoria was out hunting with the Denali sisters, even after I had spent the day with her doing exactly that.

_I stood upon a high precipice, observing Victoria's technique as she stalked a large grizzly, stalking the fish jumping in the brook. My fingers were deftly tracing my cell phone in my pocket, trying like hell not to bust the only connection I had to Bella like I had last time._

_This was the final day. _

_Carlisle was due to report at the hospital at ten a.m. the following morning, which sealed my fate. I'd be with her again within hours, and everything inside of me that I believed to be dormant now clenched and thrived with the thought of having her back again._

_Roughly two months had passed since Victoria had been relocated to stay with our extended family in Alaska. I couldn't deny how well things were going. We all played our part in the road to her recovery. Carlisle was strictly therapeutic. When he traveled to Alaska, his sole purpose was to counsel her through her healing process. Even though James mistreated her, it didn't change the fact that she was still connected to only him for all those years. With Carlisle's vast wisdom and Victoria's willing attitude towards the process, it wasn't long before she was laughing and playing along with her newfound sisters._

_It was amazing how fast she had bonded with the family we'd left her with. She quite literally fit in as the sixth member with ease, even taking on some less than savory habits from Tanya in particular. Victoria quickly took an interest in the human men in town, her bloodlust amazingly controlled already. It would be a long while before she was released amongst the male population of Alaska in that sense--she still had a ways to go._

"_Edward I can share, you know."_

_I was broken from my thoughts by Victoria's voice as she straddled her kill, offering it up to me like a human would pass along the main course. I smiled and declined her offer. "I'm not in the mood for irritable grizzly right now. Thank you, though."_

_In the next instant, Victoria was crouching down next to me. "What are you in the mood for? Bella?"_

_Hearing her name spoken out loud sent sharp pangs shooting throughout my body. My family knew not to even bring her up while I was away from her, yet Victoria always insisted upon doing it. "Why must you always mention her…don't you see what it does to me?"_

_She shrugged her shoulders once. "Maybe I just wanted to remind you about what you leave behind when you come up here to 'rescue' me."_

_I shook my head slowly. In the two months that I had known Victoria, we had discussed in depth what the life of a vampire could be. I knew in order to get her to open up, I had to make the first move. Now, there wasn't much she didn't know about my life…and Bella._

_Her thoughts were always heavily guarded, but initially I knew she had some sort of attraction or fascination with me. She'd always make comments about us being the odd ones out of our bunch…that someone out there must have had a grandeur plan when I met her that fateful night._

_But the more she learned about the connection that Bella and I had, the more readily she backed off. She never made comments regarding the two of us anymore, knowing any attempt would prove futile. _

"_I must be one hell of a burden to you, making you leave the girl you love so much," Victoria sighed._

"_You aren't a burden…just a good person that never deserved to be wronged by my hand, or anyone else's for that matter."_

_She was silent as she thought about my words. "What…what does it feel like?" she asked me._

"_What does what feel like?"_

"_Loving Bella in such away, and not being with her?" she whispered._

_I sighed as I fought to find words to describe the empty ache that resounded inside of me every moment she wasn't near. "Imagine taking your soul, the very essence of what you are, and splitting it in half. You're unrecognizable without it…just a ghost of the person you truly are. Imagine how painful it must be, to be missing a vital part of your make-up. Pain like that can't be described, Victoria."_

_Her thoughts were loud and clear in my mind: _I've grown to depend on him so entirely, but even I wouldn't want to purposefully keep them apart.

"_You're going home this evening?" Victoria questioned._

_I sighed heavily, my chest rising and falling dramatically. "I am."_

"_Then leave," she said determinedly. "And return next weekend for the celebration."_

"_What celebration?"_

"_The celebration of my emancipation, you silly man," she giggled. "You know I don't want humans any longer…well, not for blood anyway. Carlisle has made me realize I'm worth a second chance, and you've made me realize that there can be good in this world. The family you've brought me to has completed me in a way I never could have imagined; I'm truly happy, Edward, and I want a party to celebrate, damn it."_

_I matched her smile as she bumped my shoulder. "It's my love's birthday next weekend," I murmured._

"_Hmm…well I suppose that trumps my little triumph," she decided. "Weekend after? You simply must bring Bella."_

_There were no ill-willed thoughts in her mind, but still my mouth twisted in uncertainty. I stood, looking out over the breathtaking view of the mountains and wishing I had my beautiful girl there to share it with. It would certainly be a joy having her by my side. "And what if Bella's enticing blood makes you hungry for a taste?"_

_She shrugged. "I can be around humans, Edward. I've got my bloodlust in check. And if for some ungodly reason I have a moment of weakness, I'm sure the lot of you could manage to restrain me."_

_I looked at her intently. "You wouldn't hurt the one person who means the most to me."_

_It wasn't a question._

_Her thoughts were purely good. "You've become a friend to me, Edward. You took the time to save me from a very dark place…the last thing I would want to do is take everything you hold dear away from you."_

_I smiled reverently, images of my sweet human girl dancing behind my eyelids. I grabbed Victoria's arm with a start. "Where are we going?" she questioned suddenly._

"_We're going to town. You'll be sniffing a lot of humans before I allow you around mine," I laughed._

_She chuckled at me, shaking her head. "Does that mean I can begin the plans for my send-off into vegetarian vampirism?"_

"_I'll discuss it with Bella and my family, but if two weekends from now works for them and you can control yourself, then we'll attend," I said simply._

_Victoria stopped in her tracks, looking at me very seriously. "And then you will go home with your girl and never come back…not without her anyway. It isn't right, seeing how empty you are without her."_

_We took off at a vigorous sprint, racing towards the closest town so I could put her restraint to the test, and silently mulling over Victoria's seemingly earnest words._

It had been hours since I was with Victoria, working with her in a dutiful effort to bring her into our lifestyle. Everything had been going so well. But as the sun set behind the trees and our journey home came closer still, I began losing control, just like I always did.

I walked through Eleazar's front door hastily after draining an elk, rushing past Carlisle and my brothers and landing in a heap onto the davenport. I sensed Jasper and Emmett approaching as they flopped down on either side of me, the silence thick between us.

"Damn Edward, you're killing me," Jasper sighed, pushing on his chest to ease the ache, much like I was in that instant.

"Yeah, I know the feeling," I mumbled beneath my breath, glancing around the abandoned quarters as Carlisle conversed with Eleazar in the other room. I felt a wave of calm trying to fight its way through my need for Bella, but like always, it failed miserably. I huffed a humorless laugh. "That was an honorable try, Jazz."

He clapped my back and smiled sheepishly. "I won't lie to you, brother, it makes me feel like less of an immortal monster when my talents don't work on you. Just saying…"

I shook my head in wonder. "I don't know how she does this to me."

"Huh," Emmett grunted, staring at me with a look of perplexity as he furrowed his brows. "I miss my wife, Edward, but this is just insane…"

"Any suggestions?" I asked harshly.

"Uh yeah, how about you don't leave your lady's side ever again and save us all the misery?" Emmett's tone was condescending but his grin was sincere as he bumped me with his shoulder.

Jasper intervened. "Well there's no denying that it's hard being away from your mate. Usually when Alice and I have to be apart, it helps to stay busy, you know? Such as actively thinking about other things in your life to stave off the loneliness of being without her. It's kind of like trying to keep something hidden from _you_. Think about everything you can besides the one thing you want the most."

I would never verbally downplay what my brothers had with their wives, and even though I had access to their minds ninety percent of the time, I still couldn't personally know their level of devotion. I knew each respective pair loved one another immensely…but what Bella and I had…was it even love? Wasn't it so much more than that simple, substantially overused endearment?

She was the only thing in this world that was able to rescue me from myself…the only person who truly knew who I was. Even Jasper's most helpful advice couldn't fix what was broken inside of us when we weren't together. I still appreciated it all the same.

I grinned slightly. "I've definitely been trying that, thanks Jazz."

His look told me he wasn't fooled. "What's the deal with you and Bella anyway. I mean, Edward…what's the _real _deal?"

I looked toward Emmett, who was distractedly fiddling with his cell phone and clearly not paying attention to us. Jasper's perceptive golden eyes bored into mine, and I knew he would be able to understand it better than most. I tried to stay nonchalant on the matter. "She knows me," I shrugged. "She pulled me out of a very dark, very dangerous place in my life. She made me want to live again…I love her, Jasper. I can't sit here and define what I feel for her. I'm just not able to accurately tell you what we've found in one another."

His thoughts were equal parts surprised and expectant. _When they're in the same room together, every emotion inside of me goes haywire. I've never felt anything like it._

My eyes widened. "Is that why it's very rare that you, I, and our mates are in the same room at the same time?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Damn, Alice told me to keep that from you. Really, it doesn't strain me as much as you'd think, but you know how Alice likes to coddle me. It's just…imagine feeling everything at once. Absolutely everything, Edward. It's too much for one being to contain, and I have to withstand it nearly every moment I'm around you two."

I looked at him meaningfully. "It's what I feel every fucking second I'm with her."

Jasper smiled significantly, his thoughts loud and clear in my mind. _Then you've been given quite a gift, my brother, no matter how overwhelming it will be to endure._

I felt a heavy wave of brotherly love thrown my way, just as Jasper's phone began ringing. I chuckled. "Jazz, if I wouldn't have known any better, I'd say you were feeling downright warm and fuzzy inside."

He rolled his eyes, his smile wide. "Whatever, Edward. I'm just taking your sappy-ass feelings and throwing them back at you…giving you a taste of your own medicine, ya know?" He bumped my knuckles and walked out of the room, flipping open his phone.

I glanced at Emmett, who was staring back at me intensely.

"What?" I questioned.

"Does it really cause you physical pain to be away from Bella?" He asked quietly, his thoughts full of remorse. _I love Rosie with everything I've got, but it doesn't hurt to be separated from her. Am I an insensitive asshole? _

I shook my head quickly. "Emmett, just because I'm aching without Bella doesn't mean your feelings aren't strong enough for Rosalie, not by a long shot."

He shook his head in understanding. "Yeah, I get it, bro. You and Bella are intense…it's a little weird to see you like that, considering how long you've kept yourself locked away."

"Oh come on, you make it sound like I was some sort of ogre chained in the basement. I showed myself once in awhile," I grinned.

Emmett laughed boisterously. "Yeah this is true, but the difference is like night and day. You never would have cracked jokes or joined in on whatever we were doing at the time. Hell, I can't remember ever seeing you _smile_ until the night Bella came for dinner."

"I know," I murmured thoughtfully.

The silence between us was a bit awkward for a moment before Emmett sighed and punched my shoulder. "Well I'll say this, and then we can be done with it. I know Rosie's been one hell of a wench to your girl, and I'm sorry for that. She's coming around though, and in her mind she's got valid reasons for her initial animosity. I'm trying to get her to just swallow her damn pride and talk to Bella about it, but you know how she is."

"Yeah," I smiled distantly, the urge to leave Eleazar's house creeping up on me like a ravenous predator. I needed my human girl and as important as it was to bond with my brothers, I had to end the suffering for Bella and I.

"But for what it's worth," Emmett continued," I think Bella is cool as hell, and Carlisle wasn't kidding when he said that she fit into our mold like fucking fate. She really does, Edward…she belongs with us. Which means that I won't complain about her newborn obnoxiousness, and I'll protect that little girl with everything I've got, because she's a goddamn Cullen through and through."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, avoiding Emmett's eye contact. "I appreciate it, Emmett. Very much."

He waved his hand as if it were nothing. "Don't sweat it. I seriously don't know what the hell you're doing sitting on this couch when you should be running toward your girl. Besides, I've pretty much healed Vickie on my own. Where do you think she learned to take out that massive bear, man? That shit is certainly an acquired trade."

I shook my head. "Well Emmett, if you were the secret weapon to her recovery, you could have saved Bella and I months of turmoil if you would have informed me sooner."

"Nah, absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that," he murmured distantly, submerging himself in his cell phone once more.

"How much fonder could we realistically be?" I quietly asked myself, running my hand viciously through my hair as Jasper returned to the room. I looked up at him expectantly.

"You want an update?"

I rolled my eyes and he smiled sheepishly. "Yeah, stupid question. Right now she's curled up with Esme, and they're watching _The Hills Have Eyes_."

"_Daddy_!" Emmett growled in a mock-mutant voice, slapping my arm. "Aw man, I love that movie. That shit is funny…not as funny as the sequel, of course."

"Jazz, is she all right?" I question earnestly.

Sympathy was written all over his face as he nodded slowly. "Yeah Edward, she'll be okay. She's pretty much in the exact same state as you are…hurting and anxious to be back with you."

I nodded and my brothers bumped my knuckles as they walked out of the house, leaving to catch a quick meal before we began our run home.

It hurt so desperately in these last few hours before our departure. My eyes became a menacing black and my hands shook like a man on the edge. My every thought was with Bella, wondering if she had any idea how close I was to being in her arms again, any idea how fucking insanely I lost my mind in moments like these.

I couldn't hear her sweet voice because we were downright destructive when we mixed our agonizing needs together, but Jasper's reports had always helped some. It was amazing what kind of power Bella and I had when we unified it, and only made me yearn desperately for the time when she would be permanent like me.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and my head swung to the side, a low growl rising from my throat before realizing it was Carlisle. He gazed at me sympathetically. "Edward, you can't do this anymore."

"Nor do you need to," Eleazar added as he entered the room behind him. "The girl is doing quite well. As a matter of fact, we fully plan on asking her to stay with us permanently; my wife and her sisters have become quite attached. There's no reason to put yourself and Bella through this torment any longer, Edward."

I looked between the two men with hope in my eyes. "Victoria expressed the same thoughts," I murmured hesitantly.

Eleazar chuckled. "My wife informed me that she and her sisters want a party. God help me, my life with all these vivacious women."

Carlisle chuckled while I smiled faintly. _I just wanted my home_.

I ran my hands viciously through my hair, my elbows resting on my knees. "I don't mean to be so rude when I come here, Eleazar. I know I must be coming off that way. It's just, Bella and I…"

I drifted off, and Carlisle took that moment to step in. "Edward and Bella share a very intense connection. As a matter of fact, I can't tell you how curious I am to see her full ability once she has made her transformation."

Eleazar hummed. "Yes, you've told me that you plan on bringing his human girl into your family."

Carlisle smiled. "Yes. Bella has quickly become a most beloved daughter to my wife and I. And given her eternal bond with Edward, there's simply no other way. We wouldn't want it…_any other way_."

I rose from the couch and shook Eleazar's hand firmly. "Please say goodbye to the ladies for me when they return…I need to go," my voice shook as I spoke, and I would have felt a twinge of embarrassment if it wasn't so dire a situation to me.

"Of course, Edward. I do hope you'll all return for our social gathering two weekends from now. And please bring the young lady we hear so much about. We're certainly anxious to meet her."

I wasn't as insistent upon it. While I had known these vampires for years and would undoubtedly trust them with my life, I was still hesitant in surrounding my love with any of our kind that weren't my immediate family. I would talk to Carlisle about it before the opportunity presented itself.

I was off like a flash, running with everything I had inside of me as a tormented groan sounded from my lips. Carlisle was right, I couldn't do this again.

We just couldn't do this again.

I pressed my palm forcefully against my aching heart, trying to ease the unending pain but to no avail. I brought my phone from my pocket and stared at the screen, knowing I shouldn't do it but needing contact with my human girl.

_God, Bella…_

I hesitated as the cursor blinked back at me, asking me to fill the blank space with more words. To adequately describe everything I needed to say to the girl who wore my ring on her finger. But those two simple words filled with love and pure unadulterated need were all that I could produce.

And I knew without a doubt, she'd understand everything raging through me in that moment.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The birds were singing in over-abundance as I ran hastily through the woods contingent to my family's home. The sun was playing amongst the cloud bank, fighting to come out and kiss the sky it so fervently neglected.

I urged it to shine brightly today. I wanted to open every curtain in my room and strip my beautiful girl of each piece of her clothing. I wanted to worship her body in the glistening sunlight, studying it with my hands and my mouth and my teeth. I closed my eyes as I ran, imagining the way my forearm would look covering her abdomen, glimmering light amongst alabaster silk…we were so fucking beautiful together.

When I broke through the tree line, I focused on the front porch of my home, nearly falling to my knees as I saw her standing there, as if she could feel me getting closer. I ran with a passionate fury, not relenting one goddamn bit until I was in front of her, panting for needless breath as we stared each other down.

My fingers went to the wall behind her head, crumbling as I dug into it with trembling hands. She climbed my body hungrily, her arms and legs wrapped around me so tightly as she groaned gutturally. "Hold me," she pleaded, clawing her nails up and down my back as I crashed my forehead against her temple. "Hold me!"

I wanted to sob in the pure desperation to touch her skin. "I can't, Bella. I will crush you where I fucking stand, I need you so badly."

Her hot tears hit my shoulder as she pressed firmly against me, her nimble fingers stroking my back slowly as she hummed in my ear. "Calm down, baby. Take a deep breath and put your hands on me before I lose my fucking mind. Touch me now…just touch me right now."

I moaned audibly and wrapped my arms around her, pushing her against the front of the house as our tongues slid together in frenzied abandon. I slowed my movements, letting my tongue slide along hers slow enough to really taste her skin and the wet heat inside her mouth. I was never leaving this girl again, so fucking help me.

My body was tightly pressed up against hers and I reveled in the familiar, comforting feeling of being reunited with my purpose, my light. I'd never be apart from her again, never feel the agonizing burn from the inside out, the fear of what could be happening to her when I wasn't there to protect her. I moaned into her mouth and gripped her hair in my fist, holding her against me and securing her in my embrace as I completely let myself go.

Reuniting my heart with its home had never been so sweet.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

The early morning hours were quiet as we stood in front of my window, taking in the rare beauty the sun had to offer. An empty house, a peaceful Saturday morning, and her body tucked so deliciously into mine.

It was amazing to me how everything could come together so quickly.

"I can't be in here when you're gone," she sighed, turning her sweet face to kiss my chest. "Walking into your bedroom when I know you're so far away is like a knife through my fucking heart. I've never felt pain like that."

"You'll never feel it again, love," I murmured against the shell of her ear.

She giggled as she took our entwined fingers and pressed them against the window. "Look at us," she whispered softly. "Soon I'll shine right along with you."

"My beautiful girl," I breathed, leaning town to taste her neck while watching our fingers flex together in the bright sunlight. "When will you realize that you already do?"

She turned abruptly in my arms and pushed until I was lying flat on the mattress, her naked body climbing on top of mine as her vibrant eyes met mine. "Edward Cullen," she murmured.

My eyes fluttered closed as I felt her ring graze up and down the side of my stomach. "Do you realize just how long you're going to be stuck with me?" she beamed.

I chuckled breathlessly as she sat down right on my pelvis, bringing our aching flesh together once more. "I'm certain it won't be long enough, beloved."

She rocked on me slowly, her wet heat gliding up and down my shaft but never taking me inside her. She watched me with pure adoration in her eyes as she studied my lips, my nose, my eyebrows, my jaw. When she reconnected her warm brown with my hungry gold, my chest twisted with an urgent, vicious sort of love.

She pressed her palm against my still heart, smiling widely as she took her bottom lip between her teeth. "I felt it too, baby," she whispered, drawing a line with her finger where the welcomed pain had just shot through me.

Bella slid her palm down my stomach until she took me in her hand, positioning herself above my cock and slowly lowering herself until we were pressed tightly together. She covered me with her soft, warm body, resting her face in the crook of my neck and sighing with the utmost completion.

We moved together with slow gyrations of our hips, giving and taking the pleasure that would join us in our never ending eternity, sated with the fact that our separation would never be an issue for us again.

"You won't leave me anymore," she whispered against my throat, sucking my adam's apple between her lips and moaning into my skin.

"Never again," I agreed, my face contorting in unbridled pleasure as she worked herself above me.

I wrapped my arms around her body and lifted my heavy eyelids, watching lazily as the light of day drew shadows across her flawless skin. I studied the way she moved so naturally against me, like our love was something that was always meant to flow so effortlessly between us. I listened to her short, quiet whimpers as she took her pleasure from my body and the relief of finally having me home.

"I love you, Bella." My voice had never sounded more earnest, had never spoken with more undeniable truth than in that moment.

And as my girl expressed her love for me with breathless pants and her arms squeezing so tight, I acknowledged the one truth that I had never really recognized.

Being a vampire wasn't my curse. It wasn't mandatory for me to be a monster and take lives with the eternity I was brought into. Everyone is given the choice to live life to its fullest, whether man or immortal.

Being a vampire was truly my blessing in this world. It was the only way I could ensure that I would be endlessly happy until this earth turned to dust. Vampirism gave me my Bella until the end of time, and for that, I would never again view my nature as something to be ashamed of.

Because it was my gift.

_She_ was my gift.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

**See, now that wasn't so bad was it? So this means that there will be no more angst in the future right?**

**Yeah…right.**

**Ahem, anyhow, my twin Lazykate and I have started a new project of sorts, however it is not listed under either of our ffnet accounts. Alas, it has its own account, entitled Masterperv Theatre!**

**There are already two delicious one-shots posted over there, and if you're wondering what the hell its all about, go here and it will explain everything you need to know: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2352109/**

**It's gonna be pretty fun over there, and you will get all types of different stories and all kinds of dirty fun. Please please put Masterperv Theatre on story alert? It's still my writing, just in a different spot! And if you're reading Dirty Little Secrets, you KNOW my girl Kate can write a lemon…hot damn! Check it out! :)**

**I love my beta/savior Isabel, she is all kinds of amazing and I will forever be indebted to her. **

**Twitter= Brits23**

**Twilighted Forum: http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=7529**

**And I'm one million percent sure you all read Relative Wind by Mac214 already, but dear God if you don't….DROP EVERYTHING. Seriously, I'm not joking ya'll….go read it, just….gah… Linkie: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5558729/1/Relative_Wind**

**K, I think that's it from me. Next up is Bella's Birthday party. I'm excited to write it, and I'll leave it at that. In the meantime, please send some love my way? I need your words…Review, Review!**

**Thanks for sticking with me throughout each chapter, my lovelies! You'll never know how much I love you all. Until next time! :)**


	18. Crumble

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Sorry for the delay, girls. Writer's block is a cruel, unforgiving bitch. I know I said that Bella's birthday party would be up next but she wouldn't STFU, and Edward...well he wouldn't stop doing _other_ things.**

** Let's roll with it, I'll talk to you down below! :)**

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

*****BPOV*****

_In my dream I was immortal, standing alongside the family that I was always meant to find._

_Golden eyes, pale skin, and a grace that defied the laws of physics. _

_We were beauty personified._

_I ran my eyes along the dense forest we occupied, smiling as Rosalie walked by and placed a kiss upon my cheek._

_In my dream she was my sister…in my dream she was my friend._

_I watched as Carlisle twirled Esme beneath his arm, smiling and laughing in a love more immense than most would ever come to know._

_I watched Alice and Jasper have their silent, meaningful conversation with just the shine of their eyes. Their body language mirrored each others and yet they weren't physically touching; they didn't need to be._

_Emmett threw Rosalie on his back and walked her slowly through the woods, marveling at the sun shimmering down in brilliant streams through thick leaves. He'd run and stop abruptly and they'd laugh. And laugh and laugh._

_I let out an audible moan once I felt Edward behind me, warm chest pressed against my back, breath on my ear, lips on my neck._

_His hands slid from my hips and along my arms, moving slowly until our fingers were entwined on both hands. I closed my eyes and reveled in how warm he was against me. _

_We were the same._

_I pressed my nails into his hand and felt the skin give way beneath me, how our bodies bended and molded to each other like they were ultimately meant to._

_I rested my head against his shoulder and pressed my nose to his throat, inhaling the life he gave me just by existing._

Bella, Bella, Bella.

_My name rang out inside of him like a heartbeat, pulsing and constant and the only thing that kept him still roaming this earth._

I love you, you've changed me, you're mine. I love you.

_His thoughts intermingled with mine inside my vibrant mind. So much room to harbor thought after thought, yet almost all of them still belonged to him. His inner voice wrapped instinctively around mine…like a slow dance, like ribbons binding together. And we were completely consumed._

Edward, you're everything. You are everything.

_No matter how loud I screamed it inside of me, no matter how obliviously our subconscious minds swayed together, he could never hear my words. _

_I opened my eyes and Carlisle was standing in front of me, gazing at me with a fatherly love that immobilized me, yet sent me soaring in the same instance. His palm slid down my cheek before he pressed a kiss to my forehead._

"_He is water and you are fire. He is the darkness and you are the light. He is your heart and you are his soul. He can listen to everyone but you, and he is the only thing you can hear. He is the mind and you are the body…but together you are everlasting."_

_Carlisle kissed my forehead once more and disappeared instantly in front of me. I turned to Edward and tried to find the answer in his eyes, tried to hear the words inside his beautiful mind. His lips moved slowly as he spoke. "Without the other, we cease to exist."_

_I rested my hand against his jaw and it splintered beneath my fingers._

_Cracking._

_Dust falling from my skin and my face and my arms._

_Pieces ripping off of the most beautiful vampire I had ever known, smiling crookedly as he crumbled in front of me. As we both crumbled._

_I watched until we were just piles of rubble, our remains intermixed and reduced to nothing._

_But together…always together._

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

My eyes flew open immediately but my body remained still, my heart racing but everything else in the room eerily calm. The bed shifted next to me and Edward's cold chest was pressed against my back. I closed my eyes and hummed when his lips found my bite mark and kissed slowly. "I had a dream," I murmured, my voice gruff from the deep sleep I had just been lifted from.

I tried to remember the scene my subconscious played out before me, but everything was so hazy.

I sighed as his fingers twisted with mine against the mattress, his mouth moving slowly across my neck and up my jaw until he captured mine. "I thought you were. But this time was different…you didn't move a muscle, only fluttered those soft lashes of yours."

I turned over beneath him and smiled as he looked down at me lovingly, his fingertips ghosting my eyelids and tracing my cheeks until he leaned down to capture my lips once more.

There were so many different sides to me, and yet he knew them all. I was blatant and outspoken, but sensitive and unsure. I wanted to be loved slowly and taken fast and fucked and kissed and cherished and loved and urgent for the fire and the quiet he simultaneously provided for me.

Here he was, soft and gentle as the rain fell peacefully outside; five hours ago he was taking me hard from behind, demanding that I beg for his cock.

He wanted everything…just like me.

"I was a vampire," I whispered into his ear, pulling him farther on top of me so I could feel more of his weight. "And you told me that without the other, we cease to exist."

He hummed and smiled against my lips. "So what you're telling me is that I'm incredibly intelligent, in reality and slumber alike?"

"Get over yourself, gorgeous," I smiled, turning to look at the clock. "Wow, it's early."

"It is…was your dream pleasant, beloved?"

My brow furrowed. "I think so. I don't remember much of it…but we crumbled."

He looked at me quizzically. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we turned into stone and crumbled until we were a big Edward-Bella rock pile."

Slowly he turned me to the side, pressing his chest against my back as he molded himself to me. "But no one threatened to tear us apart?" he whispered against the shell of my ear.

I pushed back against his body and took both of his hands in mine, wrapping them around my torso. "No baby, we were together."

Edward hummed low and kissed my jaw before resting his lips against my ear. "Then let us crumble, Bella."

I moaned and kissed the arm he had wrapped around my chest, holding me tightly in the dark light of my room. Soon this would be forever.

We laid together in silence, watching one minute turn into another and knowing that it held no real merit for us, considering all we would ever have was unending moments of _this_.

I gripped him tighter as I felt him tremble behind me, his breathing becoming labored as it ghosted the curve of my neck. "Edward?" I whispered, turning my head to meet his vibrant, emotional eyes. My palm rested against his cheek. "What is it?"

He chuckled shortly and averted his gaze, nodding towards the alarm clock. "It's four-fifty-eight."

I smiled softly and kissed his pursed lips, my heart warming against the coolness of his skin. I knew he was a vampire and didn't have the ability to forget, but I was still flattered that he remembered the minute of my birth. "What time were _you_ born?" I whispered.

He circled his thumb around my nipple before bending down to kiss it wetly. "I've no idea, love. I don't believe I was ever told."

I turned in his embrace until we were both staring at the clock again, watching as the time that brought me into this world readied to expire. "Maybe it was four-fifty-eight," I breathed, my eyes opening and closing lazily.

Edward picked up my hand and brought my ring to his lips, kissing it gently before entwining his fingers with mine. "Eighteen years ago to the minute, I finally had a place in this world. I would have waited a hundred more, beloved…for you, for _us_. You don't know how much you've given me."

My eyes burned as the red LCD display basked his beautiful face in its light, and I had never been more ready to leave this life for another. I no longer felt the lingering traces of guilt. My father and friends were my family while I was visiting this life but now, _finally_…I was going home.

Even though time wasn't governing my existence any longer, it pained me to think about waiting until after graduation. I wanted to get the darkness of my transformation out of the way and then revel in the new life I was setting out to live with Edward.

Patience was certainly no virtue of mine.

"I love you so much," I whispered against his forearm, his hand breaking from mine to move my hair behind my shoulder in order to taste my skin.

His mouth moved over me slowly to the beat of the falling raindrops, and between his reverent kisses, he whispered the same words over and over.

"Happy Birthday, Bella."

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

"Dad, do I really need to remind you that I'm an adult now, and you can't _make_ me go to school?" I crossed my arms over my chest and smirked at my father, who couldn't help but roll his eyes at my petulance.

"Isabella Marie, it isn't even eight-o-clock in the morning and you're pulling the adult card on me already. I had a bet with Billy that you'd at least wait 'til after school. You owe me ten bucks, kid," he chuckled.

I shook my head and turned toward the counter to pour myself some juice. Like I'd really miss school anyway…I had someone pretty important to spend the day with.

I found myself staring dreamily into the orange juice carton when my dad's voice pulled me out of my daze. "Hey Bella, come sit for a minute."

Uh-oh, he was going to get serious on me.

I put the juice back in the fridge and sat across from him at our small table, his eyes glued to the surface. Slowly he slid a narrow package to the center of the table. "Just a little something…I don't know if you'll like it since you're all grown-up now, but humor your old man if you don't."

I smiled at him and he blushed, his eyes filled with something I couldn't quite place as I reached across the table and picked up the box. "What's the deal, Dad?"

"Well…I don't want to get all _emu_ on you, or whatever you kids call it.

But I just want you to know how proud I am of you."

"Thanks, Daddy," I smiled.

He glanced up at me before looking quickly down to his fidgeting fingers. "Bella, you've been through a lot…losing your mom at such a young age and moving out here in the middle of the swamp with your old man. And look at you…smart as hell, funny, imaginative..."

I rolled my eyes at him but he continued. "But more than all that, kid, the fact that you've opened up to me over these past couple of months means more than anything. I don't know why you felt the need to pretend to be something you weren't, but I'm glad you've dropped the act."

I felt the tears welling up in my eyes against my will. "It's just…I wanted to be good for you, Dad. I wanted to be someone that you could be proud of. Not some snarky girl with a foul mouth."

Charlie smiled. "But _that's_ my daughter. _That's_ who I love like crazy."

It wasn't difficult to think about my impending "death." Even the thought of never seeing Charlie again, while painful, was something I viewed more as an evolution than anything else. I'd spent my time on this earth in my human body with my human connections; now I was ready for much more. That's why every second I had left with my father was a second I would cherish.

He motioned me over and pulled me in for a one-armed hug. "I'm serious, kid. I'm not stupid. I know after your senior year is up, you're outta here. And that's what I want for you. You're bigger than this Podunk town, so don't ever feel guilty about leaving your old man behind."

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "Daddy, I just want you to be happy."

"Bella, are _you_ happy?" he questioned forcefully.

I chuckled softly through my tears. "I don't even have words to describe how happy I am."

"Then I'm happy, kid. It's all that matters."

"Okay," I sniffled, unapologetically wiping my tears on Charlie's work shirt.

I sat back down in my seat and picked up the box again, opening it slowly. My eyes widened as I took in the gift from my father, an oval-shaped locket that was delicate and silver and all around fucking perfect.

"Open it up," he whispered hoarsely.

I opened the clasp and looked closely at the two tiny pictures nestled on each side of the locket; it was almost like he knew every single fucking thing I was leaving behind.

On one side there was a picture of me and my parents, my toddler smile wide and innocent as my mom and dad kissed my cheeks. On the other was a picture of me on Jake's back when we were about thirteen, right after I forgave him for the whole 'kissing me against my will' fiasco.

"No matter where you go, Bella girl, you'll always have a home here. _No matter what_," Charlie murmured.

Before I knew it I was hugging my dad once more, his face turning bright red as I undoubtedly was cutting off his air supply with my force. I closed my eyes and whispered the only thing I could think to say. "I love you. You've been the best father a girl could ever ask for…and a million years from now, I'll still be grateful for everything you've done for me."

My dad sniffed loudly and patted my back before I sat back up, wiping my eyes once more. "You better get to school, kid, you don't want to be late."

I nodded just as I heard Edward pull into the drive. "Dinner tonight at the Cullens, right Dad?"

He shook his head and sighed loudly. "Yeah, I'll be there. Edward's a good kid, Bells, but aren't you two moving a bit fast?"

I smiled widely. "Nah, I'd say we were moving at the perfect speed, Daddy."

I fastened the locket from my father around my neck and placed a kiss on his cheek before bounding out the door.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

"I can't believe you invited the douche-brigade," I muttered, giving Alice a side glance as she picked at the food on her lunch tray.

Her eyes widened. "Bella, it won't be much of a party if it's just us! You need some humans there, otherwise it's just us hanging out at the house."

"Angela and Ben are coming," I countered, pouting at her from across the table with a carrot stick.

She rolled her eyes. "Two people."

"Yeah okay," I murmured. "I suppose it will be mildly entertaining to watch Jessica and Lauren fawn over our boys."

Edward groaned beside me and I kissed his neck. "Aw, baby," I smiled.

With heavy lids, he slid a grape into my mouth and pressed his lips to mine. "I'll be too preoccupied with watching you to notice them anyway, beloved."

"And we're definitely playing poker," Emmett waggled his eyebrows.

My hand shot up. "Ooh, I play poker! And I'm pretty sure I can smoke all your asses, just saying."

Jasper snorted. "We're very seasoned, sweetheart. It's highly unlikely."

"Bring your cash and your big girl panties, Jazzy. I'm taking you down."

"We'll see," he smirked.

Alice suddenly grabbed my hand, her eyes going blank like they normally did when she had a vision. "You're inviting the _mongrels_?"

I looked at her guiltily. "What? No…what?"

I knew the second the thought flitted into my mind that her visions would more than likely go blank, but Jake and Quil wouldn't cause problems…

I looked up at Edward. "Jake and Quil wouldn't start anything."

He smiled and tucked my hair behind my ear. "It's your party, Bella. Invite whoever you'd like."

Alice heaved a large sigh. "Fine, invite them. But you better hurry up, the party is tomorrow!"

"Yeah, I should probably head over to the rez after school."

Edward stiffened beside me, and I squeezed his hand. "Hey, what's that about? You know I'll be all right…"

"I realize, Bella." He stared at me with endless eyes for a long moment and instantly I understood his reaction. It was the same one I had every time he had to leave me since he'd permanently been back.

We weren't physically designed to be apart from one another, and now that we recognized that, it was downright unbearable to distance ourselves. But sometimes we just had to try. "An hour tops, baby. Then I'll be back."

He pursed his lips contemptibly. Lately he had been struggling with the weaknesses that came along with surrendering himself to someone so entirely.

He had gone from a solitary, bitter being to a man who loved with everything he had inside of him. He went from not knowing how to feel, to giving me every single part of him, emotionally and physically.

We were evolving slowly…and all we had was endless amounts of time to get it right.

Rosalie scoffed, breaking Edward and I from our intense stare. "So I'll be forced to spend an evening with _shape-shifters_?"

I smiled sweetly. "No, actually they'll be forced to spend the evening with _you_."

Rose's lips twitched in an attempt to hide her smirk. "Well whatever, I'll take all their puppy spending money when we play cards. No new chew-toy for Jakie."

I snorted, shaking my head. "You are such a bitch, Rose."

"What was your first clue?" she grumbled.

Our unfriendly banter laced with humor and good-will was our form of bonding, as fucked up as it was. At least it was progress. Emmett bumped my knee beneath the table and winked jovially, obviously prideful of the fact that his standoffish wife was finally warming up to me.

Edward took my hand beneath the table and instantly my eyes met his. "I'm taking you now, Bella…I can't wait," he murmured deeply beneath his breath, dipping his head to press his moist lips against the shell of my ear. "Let me be inside of you. I need to feel you cum _hard_ on me, beautiful girl."

And just like that I was a trembling mass of need. We had become much more effective in socializing with our siblings and acting like more of a normal couple. But there was always a certain juncture throughout the day where we reached our breaking point. Especially when he talked so fucking irresistibly dirty to me.

I nodded shakily at Edward and we rose from our seats at the table, wrapping our fingers tightly together. I wasn't fazed by the knowing smirks from the others at the table, because nothing mattered when we lost each other like this. Edward's car was seeing more action these days than I ever could have anticipated.

_Thank God for tinted windows…_

It was still so hard to balance life with my love for Edward…but I was pretty fucking ecstatic about the fact that we would have an infinite number of years to work it out.

Who knew if it would be long enough.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

I stood with Edward in my driveway, clutching his jacket as I held him to me. My breath left my lungs hastily as he pressed his mouth to my bite mark. "You smell like me, Bella. Every single inch of you."

"I know, baby. That's what I want," I whispered, pulling him closer. I felt my body began to shiver as the cool early November air blew against us. I suppose it didn't help that my vamp boy was cold too, but I truly never felt anything but the richest warmth when he was pressed against me. "You smell like me too, you know," I smiled.

"You're all over me," he whispered against my throat, his tongue darting out to taste my skin as he shuddered against me.

"You want me to get all over you?" I teased softly, standing on my tiptoes and preparing to hop up and straddle my vamp boy like I meant it.

Edward growled hungrily. "Keep talking like that and you won't be going anywhere."

"I won't be gone long," I assured him, running both hands through his soft, unruly hair.

I watched a myriad of emotions play over Edward's face. "If Sam or Embry even fucking _breathe _in your direction…"

I rubbed soothing circles along his clenched fists. "Jake won't let anything happen, Edward. They're all talk anyway. There's no way they'd actually do anything to me."

"I know, Bella. But you don't understand how terrifying it is for me to be away from you when you're still a mortal being. I can't even begin to explain it…"

I met his golden eyes and smiled brightly, kissing his cold lips languidly. "Nothing's going to happen."

He nodded once and ran his finger across the locket around my neck. "Your father must be more insightful than we ever knew, beloved."

"I know…they'll be with me long after I've moved on."

Edward smiled. "It's important to spend time with them before we take our leave, Bella. I'll do everything in my power to make sure our life together is everything you need it to be."

I shook my head and stood up on my tip toes to bring myself closer to him. "Stop with that shit, Edward Cullen. How many times have we been over this?"

"I know…I'm just on edge. Now that the ghosts of my past are dealt with, everything has been so unbelievably good for us. I'm not used to that. I've always been prepared to meet doom around every corner."

"Hmm…how omniscient of you," I smirked.

"Alice rubs off on me," he smiled crookedly.

I pushed my hips against his. "I rub off on you," I murmured, licking his bottom lip.

With a growl he lifted me by the hips, depositing me into my truck. "Visit your friends. Then come back to me, beautiful girl. Everything is so entirely fucking dark when I can't feel you against me."

I cradled his cheek gently. "Love you," I whispered.

I groaned as his arms slid around my waist and he held me firmly against him. "Mmm Bella…love has no right."

With a kiss to my lips he let me go, shutting the truck door and gazing at me longingly through the glass. I chuckled when the door was thrown open once more and his tongue was sliding smoothly against mine. "My light…" he breathed against my throat.

"Edward," I groaned, wrapping my arms tightly around his neck. "I'll be back in an hour and a half, tops. Then I'll help the girls with dinner and we won't be apart for the entire night, I promise." I grabbed his hand and brushed his long fingers across my ring. "And when I get home, you can put this back where it belongs."

The ring he gave me was worn on my right finger when I was amongst others…but I lived for the moment he slid it back on my left ring finger, his eyes breathing a burning fire into mine.

I suddenly wanted his teeth in me so badly I could barely breathe.

He kissed me once more and broke away, shutting the door and disappearing before I had another chance to steal him back. I turned the key and my truck roared to life, and as I made my way toward La Push, I sent a text message to my vamp boy.

_We're sneaking away tonight and you're drinking my blood…I need to feel you break my skin, and I need to see the red in your eyes. I just need you, baby. I love you so much it aches._

He replied with two simple words that left me trembling for more.

_You're mine._

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

I pulled up outside of Billy and Jake's small home, honking my horn until I was greeted with my wolf friend sporting his signature denim hot pants. "Jake, seriously, enough is enough."

He rolled his eyes. "The chicks dig it, baby. What the hell are you doing here anyway? If you're looking for the Vamp Crossing, better turn your ass around and head West."

I smacked his very muscular chest. "Shut up, dick. I'm here to see you. And lay off the 'roids already," I winced, shaking my hand.

"Well I suppose I'm relatively happy to see you," he smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. "I gather you've come to collect your birthday present?"

"Hell yes, fork it over!"

"Sorry B, I can't give it to you. You'd go to jail for statutory rape if I did," he winked, bumping me with his shoulder.

I rolled my eyes. "You're vile, Jakehole. And you'll be eighteen soon enough. Not that I'm interested in anything you have to offer."

"How about this?"

He held out a delicately woven leather bracelet with a small wolf charm attached to it. What was with all the men in my life giving me jewelry lately? "Wow…were you expecting me or something?"

He chuckled. "I figured your spoiled ass would show up for your present sooner or later."

I kicked him in the shin. "I'm not spoiled."

"Yeah, well don't say I never gave you everything," he grumbled. "My girl Leah taught me how to make those little fuckers."

"Oh Jake," I sighed. "Hot pants and jewelry-making parties? I'm staging an intervention."

I squealed as Jake threw me over his shoulder, hauling me into his makeshift garage. "You need to quit with the gay jokes, vamp-lover."

"Damn straight," I laughed.

"Anyway, I've got a lady now. She may have pussy-whipped me into making a goddamn little bracelet, but I'm pretty sure I'm all right with that, as fucked up as it sounds."

"For real?" I questioned as he set me down, looking into his serious brown eyes.

"Yeah, Bella. I'm all about that girl. It started out strictly physical and ended up being something I didn't even know existed. It's pretty crazy."

"Yeah, I know the feeling."

"Hmm, yeah I guess you do. The boys are coming over in awhile, you sticking around?"

"Actually I'm having dinner with Charlie and Edward's family tonight."

His brow furrowed. "Uh, what the fuck, come again?"

I laughed. "They're cooking food. Charlie and I will eat it. They will pretend. Witty banter. Birthday cake. Happy birthday Bella. Hilarity ensues. The end."

"That's fucked up, B. Bringing Charlie into a house full of vampires."

"Whatever, they won't hurt him," I said defensively.

"Yeah, yeah," he murmured.

"I actually stopped by because Alice is throwing me a birthday party tomorrow, and I want you and Quil to come. I'd invite Sam and Embry, but I don't think they're ready for a vamp block party."

Jake snorted. "Hell, I don't know if _I_ am and I don't even hate those fuckers."

Well I'd like it if you'd stop over. The Cullens play poker, we could give 'em a run for their money."

"Ah, Bella baby, now you're speaking my language." His smile slowly fell as he looked at me seriously. "I'll talk to Q and let you know."

"Okay, well it's tomorrow night, so…"

He nodded and tied the bracelet around my wrist, looking me over observantly. "What's up with all the bling?"

"The ring is from Edward, and don't even go there, it's not _that_. And Charlie gave me the locket this morning. Check it out." I opened the oval and showed him the pictures inside. My heart clenched as Jake swallowed thickly, running the pad of his finger over the picture of us.

"That's cool as hell, B," he said softly.

"Yeah, I think so too," I whispered before eventually changing the subject. "So what are you working on?" I motioned to the car scraps littered all over the floor.

Jake shrugged. "A rabbit."

I snorted. "Like a bunny?"

"No Genius, a Volkswagen Rabbit?"

I shook my head. "You're making that up."

"The hell I am!" Jacob chuckled loudly.

I busied myself with looking around the garage, attempting to be interested in the random pieces of metal occupying it. "Did you send out any college applications yet?"

Jake scoffed. "I doubt I'm taking that road, B."

"Why the hell not? You're a smart kid. You don't need to be a fucking dealer your whole life, Jacob. At some point it stops being cool, ya know?"

"Well it sure makes me a lot of money," he grumbled beneath his breath.

"And I'm sure you'll have a fantastic time spending all your precious money when you're locked up."

Jake threw down his wrench and looked up at me. "What's up with this 'holier than thou' bullshit? You've known what we do for years, B. Why do you have a problem with it all of a sudden?"

"Because…I just want more for you," I murmured.

He stared at me for a long moment, his hard eyes softening as he sighed. "Well don't. It's not like I'm going anywhere. It's my job to protect my people, not run off to some Ivy League school. I'm content with this life, Bella. Just because you're Miss Over-Achiever doesn't mean I have to be."

"Hey, there are more important things to me than over-achieving," I defended.

"Like what, Dracula?"

I threw a rusty old pipe at my best friend, missing him within inches. "Yeah, as a matter of fact. And my dad and the boys, even though they hate me now."

"I'm not arguing with your stubborn ass, Bella. You need to stop worrying about things you have no control over. And I wouldn't stress too much over the other guys hating you…they're going through changes of their own."

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"Sam's got a girl…he imprinted."

"What's that?"

Jake sighed, seemingly not wanting to explain. "Supposedly there's one person for each of us or whatever. Once we find them, it's not just love…it's fucking everything. Sam imprinted with Emily, you know the girl down the street? Yeah, he's fucking nuts for her, which gets a little much when we're in wolf form and we can see and hear him replay every sordid vision in his mind. C-Dawg has learned a ton," he chuckled.

I cringed. "That's just wrong, corrupting little Collin. So Sam's all love sick…maybe he'll get off my fucking case?"

"Eh…not likely, but give him time."

"So did you imprint with Leah then?" I asked him.

Jake shrugged his shoulders. "Sam says no, that love and the power of imprinting are two extremely different sensations. But I say fuck that. If I wanna be with that girl then I will be; that's just the way it is."

"Good, don't let anyone tell you otherwise," I nodded.

"I won't," he winked. "So I gather you've applied to a shit-ton of colleges?"

My eyes met the ground. "Um yeah, I have."

It wasn't a lie. I had followed through with my college applications just like I would have if Edward hadn't entered my world. Only in this case, I knew I wouldn't be attending any of them. I wasn't opposed to the idea of college somewhere down the road, but there was plenty of time for academia. For now, I would focus on starting a new life in my new world, and worry about how I would educate myself later.

"Why are you all sheepish about that?" Jake asked, breaking me from my reverie.

"I'm not," I said defensively.

"What's Dracula gonna do when you run off to become a scholar?"

I shrugged, feeling my cheeks heat. "Come with me, I guess."

"How sweet, is he going to help plan your fucking retirement too, so he can follow your old ass around the world in fifty years?"

I shoved Jake off of the plastic milk crate he was sitting on before plopping down on the ground next to him. "Why are you being such a giant douche?"

"Because you need to stop thinking with your lady-wood and look at the big picture."

"You're gonna set off my rage and then I'm really not going to want you at my birthday party, so kindly shut the fuck up. If you want me to mind my own business about your ignoble affairs, then maybe you should back off of me and Edward."

Jake held his hands up in surrender. "I hear ya, B. We'll both agree not to be nosy fuckers, cool?"

I nodded my head and bumped his shoulder with mine. "You always try to push my buttons, dickhead."

He chuckled and kissed my cheek. "You truly have no idea how fun it is to piss you off, Bella."

I was lost in my thoughts for a moment. "Jake…all those times you hit on me and behaved like an obnoxious hornball...you were really just trying to get a rise out of me?"

Jake looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "Pretty much."

My eyebrows rose on their own accord. "Pretty much?"

He ran his grease-covered hand through his hair and sighed. "I don't know. I mean, you're fucking gorgeous Bella. And what teenage boy wouldn't get all worked up when they're around a kickass girl who smokes and drinks and talks shit with the best of us? I suppose I crushed on you for awhile, but then something shifted between us. You're my family, B…you're like my blood. And I may live out in the fucking sticks, but I'm sure as hell not into that inbreeding shit."

I met his warm brown eyes as I wrapped my arm around his neck, kissing his cheek. "Well if we're family that means you're stuck with me right?" I questioned softly, wishing like hell there was some way I could be accepted by the wolf pack after my change. Holding onto my connection to Jacob would mean so many things for me. Having a direct link to Charlie, not to mention bringing a vital part of my past with me into my new life. I suddenly wondered if Jacob could overlook what I was…in order to hold onto _who_ I was.

"Yeah, I'm stuck with you," he groaned in mock-exasperation, gently pushing me away. "I let you play with vampires, don't I?"

I waggled my eyebrows. "Mmmm…you sure do."

Jacob pretended to retch as he scooted away from me. "Speaking of which, you smell like the inside of an embalming tube."

"Dude, that was the sickest thing you've ever said to me."

He beamed at me proudly. "Well, it's true."

"Yeah, well to the Cullens you smell like the back end of a wet dog, so get over yourself," I smirked.

"See, there's a reason why we don't become besties with the bloodsuckers," Jake grinned.

"Yes, but luckily you're above all that 'immortal enemy' bullshit."

Jake shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, B, I fucking hate vampires. But the Cullens don't mess with humans, plain and simple. Why the fuck would I hate them when they stand for the same principles as we do? I've never appreciated being judged by the color of my skin, or the fact that I live in a shitty little house on an even shittier reservation. That's just not the way I'm built."

"And that's why I love you," I whispered, leaning against his arm.

"Damn right you love me baby," he smiled, kissing the top of my head. "I love you too, B."

Just then I heard a vehicle pull up and several doors slam. I stood as I saw Quil walking backwards through the garage door, yelling profanities at what was sure to be the rest of the boys. Without warning I jumped onto his back and messed up his hair.

I squealed as he flipped me over his shoulder. "Isabella, you don't have shit on my stealth, baby girl."

I laughed until he set me back on the ground, slapping his chest as he chuckled at me. I wrapped my arms around his waist before letting him go. "Today's my birthday, be nice to me."

Quil snorted. "I'm always nice to you, girl. Come here." He pulled me back in for a hug and rested his chin on the top of my head. "Missed you, B. You haven't been around in awhile."

I shrugged. "Just busy. Anyway, I came to invite you guys to my birthday party tomorrow."

"Vamp party?"

"Obviously," I murmured, rolling my eyes. "Mixed with humans and wolves and beer. Oh, and poker."

He stroked his chin in thought. "Perhaps I can grace you with my presence. What's the word, dawg, you going to the cold and pasty side for our birthday girl?"

Jake shrugged. "Doesn't Bella always get what she wants?"

I smiled in satisfaction, because I usually fucking did. The silence suddenly thickened around us as Quil glanced over my head.

Without even looking, I knew who was standing behind me. "Hey guys," I murmured.

"Bella," Sam said curtly.

Embry walked straight past me with Paul, not even looking in my direction. My eyes immediately filled with tears. "Happy fucking birthday to me," I muttered.

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed Quil on the cheek before giving Jake a halfhearted wave. "See you two tomorrow, hopefully."

I began retreating from the garage, but stopped in my tracks once I heard Sam call my name.

I turned to face him and he was staring intently at the ground. "Happy Birthday," he muttered.

My first instinct was to run up to him and hug him like I would have only months ago, but I knew things had changed so irrevocably. That fact didn't sit well with me.

_Why couldn't they just accept him…_

Quil and Paul wished me a happy birthday as well, but my eyes were stuck on Embry. He wouldn't even look at me.

I turned around and walked towards my truck just as the rain began to fall. I had the door open a crack before I heard rapid footsteps behind me.

I turned to see a solemn Embry pacing in front of me.

"Look, I don't like you with him, and I'm still pissed at you for doing me the way you did. But it's taking more effort to stay mad at you than not, so I'm getting over it." He paused and I nodded my head, a heavy weight lifting from my shoulders immediately. I smiled as he playfully punched my shoulder. "Have a good birthday, B."

I knew he would never become as accepting as Jake was, but this was enough. I climbed into my truck and cranked the heat, rubbing my hands together and shaking with a need that crept up on me in a split second.

God, I had just been away from my vamp boy for far too long.

**x**

*****EPOV*****

**x**

I paced my bedroom until the carpeting seemed like it was unraveling beneath me. I felt possessive and slightly unhinged as I growled and paced, thinking about all the possible harm that could come to my human girl when I wasn't there to protect her.

I was becoming _impatient._

Every second Bella was breakable was a second of my utmost unease. Anything could take her, fucking _anything_, and there wasn't a goddamn thing I could do about it. A clot in her veins, a tick in her heart, a tumor in her brain. Car wrecks, lightning strikes, spontaneous combustion…

Not knowing when and if my entire purpose would be ripped away from me was becoming more than I could take. The selfish side of me wanted her infallible that very second. The rest of me knew that it was vital for Bella to at least finish out her senior year…and to let her say goodbye properly to those who mattered most.

Ever since I had returned from Alaska for what would essentially be the final time, things had begun shifting between Bella and I. It was as if our ever-present desperation had decided to take on a life of its own whenever we weren't in the presence of one another. It was unbearable before, but now that it intensified, I couldn't begin to grasp the damage we could potentially do to each other.

I started wondering if maybe this was our curse. Pure and unadulterated bliss…mixed in with the anguish of knowing we could never merge the two parts of our shared soul back together, no matter how desperately we tried.

Bella was the only person who was capable of saving me from a very dark place, but I suddenly wondered if our connection would inevitably be our undoing.

There weren't words, actions, melodies…there was fucking _nothing_ that came close to describing what we had together, how strongly we felt. And being that untouchable from everything else on this planet had begun to terrify me.

I watched the rain sheet the planes of glass, thinking of how she could potentially catch a cold in the icy rain. Or if she was driving in it, would she hydro-plane off the road? Would I lose her? Would there be a higher power graceful enough to grant me leave when I lost my grip on her before I had a chance to make her eternal?

I felt like everything was crumbling. My subconscious mind kept telling me to hold on tight…just hold on until we change her, until we make her ours. I had myself convinced that my anxiety would lessen once she was built to last. But even then, it would merely be the beginning, wouldn't it?

Then I would be worrying that her transformation went according to plan. Easing her bloodlust. Keeping her with me when every instinct inside of her would tell her to shed the sweet nectar she was designed to crave. Watching her fall apart when she fought to withhold our beliefs, even in the darkest of moments.

My insides felt like they were turning to dust as I walked to and fro, my trembling fingers and twitching mouth craving a cigarette for the first time in months. The smoke did nothing for me, but the distraction of inhaling its fog and flicking its ash had always served its purpose to divert me from the life I used to live...if only for brief moments at a time.

But now I just needed the minutes that held the space between our bodies to disappear.

She was the only addiction I would ever fucking need, and with that, my phone was instantly in my hand. Before I could even dial her number, her sweet face lit up my screen and I knew she felt it too.

"You need to get here," my voice trembled, fingers pulling harshly at my hair as I pressed my back against the window.

"I was good," she whimpered, the sound of rain falling heavily on her truck's windshield. "I was with Jake and I was okay, Edward. And I got in the truck and I started to shake…and I need you so fucking badly. I don't understand why this happens to us."

I pressed my palm against my forehead and attempted to speak calmly. "Listen to me, Bella. You need to focus on the road. I know it's hard to think of anything else, but everything good in this world disintegrates with your last breath. Baby, I need you to get home safely to me…please, go slow?"

My tone was deep but the underlying plea was heavy in my voice. Everything about the distance between us ignited within me a fear so intense, I didn't even know I was capable of feeling it.

Bella steadied her breathing on the other end of the line. "I'll get to you," she whispered softly into my ear. "and then you have to be on me. Chest to chest, legs tangled, your cold skin warming against mine. I don't care who's in the house, Edward, you have to fucking give me that."

My brows furrowed as my eyes clenched tight. "I'll put us back together, love. Just come _home_."

"I'm so close…"

Her words made my cock throb, and I was becoming more ravenous for my human girl by the second. "Tell me where you are," I demanded, crouching up on my heels and preparing to run to wherever she was.

"How are you going to take me?" she breathed.

I pressed my forehead against my knees. "Bella…"

"Are you going to fuck me?"

"No," I whispered, closing my eyes tightly. "I'm going to enter you so carefully, so gently, my beautiful girl. And I'm going to hold still inside your body and let us pulse together until we can't contain it any longer, Bella. Just because we're back together again. I can't do this anymore."

"We'll figure it out, baby," she murmured, sniffling softly into the phone. "I'm almost to the driveway; come take me, please…"

I was out of my window in an instant, cutting through a portion of the forest towards the faint rumbling of her truck in the distance. I cried out in relief once I saw her barreling down the road in my direction.

I had the passenger side door flung open before Bella even had time to register it. She whimpered loudly as she felt my fingers slip beneath her hair and cradle her neck, my face pressed against the crook of her shoulder as I breathed her in like the sweetest air. "Do you feel that?" I whispered intensely, wrapping my other arm around her waist and squeezing her as she drove with my body practically on top of hers.

"All of it disappears."

I groaned loudly as I felt a tear that shed from her eye fall onto my jaw, and just like always I was overcome with equal parts peace and insistent aching. She moaned loudly as she let my lips devour her skin, my hands absently sliding her ring off of her right hand and placing it where it was always meant to reside. "You've always been mine."

"Always," she whispered.

She pulled into my driveway and I lifted her into my lap the moment she killed the engine. Her sad yet contented eyes gazed into mine, mirroring every single thing I felt for her. "Maybe we just need to breathe."

"Or stop." I pressed my mouth against hers and closed my eyes as I whispered against her lips. "Maybe we shouldn't be breathing."

Her eyes widened in understanding. "Do it now," she demanded, clenching my shirt in her fists. "Have Carlisle do it now."

I removed us from the truck hastily, scaling the outside of the house until she was warm and safe in my bed. My dead heart fluttered until my body was numb with joy and tingling in the pleasure I always experienced when she was pressed this tightly against me.

I shushed her soothingly, pushing her hair away from her face as my eyes shined down at her. "My birthday girl," I murmured reverently, kissing her cheeks. "Your father will be here soon. Our families will be merged together for what may very well be the only time. This is the day we celebrate your life, beloved. We aren't taking it now." I lowered myself further against her body, giving her the heaviness she constantly craved from me. "So soon you'll be mine forever, and we can cope with the emotions we've been drowning ourselves with. Until then, let me love you slow, Bella, because right now all I want is to take my time."

Bella's fingertips slid across my cheeks and down my neck, gripping the buttons on my shirt and yanking until they were released. I couldn't help but grin darkly as my eyes shifted to a deep onyx. "I'll go slow once you're naked. Make them go away, baby," she begged me.

I took great care not to tatter her clothing, considering I didn't think Bella's father would appreciate her coming down the stairs wrapped in mine.

Although _I_ would have enjoyed it immensely.

Soon we were bare against one another, and for the first moment of the day, all was completely silent. I stared at Bella with a love that still surprised me at times, and felt so natural at others. Our lips moved delicately together as I slid my palm flat down her stomach between us, grinning against her mouth at the rapid rising and falling of her ribcage.

"Twenty years," I whispered against her throat.

"Mmmm…Paris in the Spring."

She gasped as I slid my fingers down further until they were massaging her swollen pussy. I groaned and sucked her skin between my lips until a light purple mark remained at the top of her shoulder. I took such a sick pleasure from marking her as mine.

"What will we do?"

I spread her legs wider and hitched both of them over my elbows, pushing up. Her eyelids fluttered as she struggled to answer my question, both of our bodies trembling as my aching cock sat centimeters from her wet core.

"W-we'll play tourists…um, listen to sweet music and watch lovers walk hand in hand. We could..._fuck_, Edward...we could paint?"

"Anything," I whispered against the soft curve of her breast, letting my tongue trace the arc of her milky flesh until my tongue devoured her nipple. I moaned loudly as her fingertips pushed against my scalp. I slid the pad of my thumb over her other pink bud, pushing with enough pressure to make her hips lift off the bed and thrust against my stomach.

"Thirty-eight years," she moaned softly.

I looked up at her from beneath my lashes as my lips puckered around her swollen nipple. My hands slid up her sides and moved underneath her, bring her chest tight to mine as I smiled crookedly against her chin. "That's an odd amount of time, love."

"Answer me," she growled playfully, pushing the heels of her feet against my ass and urging us closer together. "And for fuck's sake, Edward Cullen, get inside me…I'm losing it."

I took my cock in my fist and pumped myself slowly, every stroke up my shaft bringing my tip flesh against her throbbing clit. "Slow," I breathed, leaning down to dip my tongue into her belly button. "Carlisle owns an island, off the coast of Rio De Janeiro. I'll take you there. Sunsets, blue water and nothing but you and I. For months, I'll take you there. I'll fuck you hard and worship your body so gently it will make us both sob from the beauty we create, beloved. Don't you realize all the ways I want to show you what we are?"

In an instant I pushed my cock all the way inside her immaculate heat, burying every inch in her and finally feeling like the biggest part of me was complete. I held entirely still and watched her eyelids flutter close, her plump lips making a perfect "O" as she squeezed my cock inside of her.

"This," she whispered with a strangled breath. "This is exactly what we are."

I moaned deeply and slid my hands beneath her shoulders, lifting her from the mattress and pinning her to me. Her arms wrapped around my neck as I sat back on my heels, her legs locking around me as our hips slid easily back and forth. "How do we fix this?" she cried into my shoulder.

My arms clamped tighter around her waist as I pumped her at a smooth, steady pace. "We hold on, Bella."

It was all we could do.

I slid my hands down her back until I was cupping her ass tightly in my grip, pulling her harder against my cock as things became fast and hazy. Her hands kept pulling at my neck, pushing me towards her bite mark. I immediately knew what she wanted; with our entire family downstairs, no less.

"Taste me slow?" she murmured breathlessly.

My cock instantly grew as I pulled her tighter against me, burying my aching dick incredibly deep. "Tell me where," I demanded gruffly.

"My lip…suck it slowly out of my lip, drop by drop."

I swallowed thickly, knowing we were talking about pushing another very fine line. "In a house full of vampires, you want me to spill your blood?"

"_Drop by drop_," she murmured, whimpering softly in the back of her throat. "Slow and torturous, baby. Fuck me quietly and drink me languidly, that's how I want it. Torture me…"

"Bella," I growled, pressing my forehead against her shoulder. "Don't we always torture? And still I'll always want more. I can't get enough, _fuck_!"

I growled as she reached between us and circled her clit with her fingers, a rush of fluid coating my cock as she hummed loudly in pleasure.

Slowly she slid her hand up my body and between my lips, her sweet arousal potent on my tongue. "I want to taste all of me on you," she whispered, her hips picking up the pace against mine as we gyrated thickly together.

I moved us until she was on her back again, my gaze darting between her deep brown eyes and her pink, swollen mouth. I leaned down and ran my bottom lip along hers, still wet with the slick heat between her legs. Her eyes rolled back in her head as I grabbed her hips and impaled her hard, my lips parting as I took what was mine.

I pinned her arms above her head, our bodies lining up perfectly as I ran my tongue along her neck, her throat, her mouth. "The next time you beg to taste yourself on me, you're going to be licking my cock clean after I've been buried inside you."

She moaned too loudly, and I gently quieted her with my lips. "Try to stay quiet, my love. This belongs to us alone."

She pushed her sweat-covered forehead against mine and shuddered beneath me. "I want to feel you hard in my mouth, come up here." She pulled at my hips but I shook my head slowly, smiling crookedly.

"Next time…for now I'm taking you drop by drop. It's what you want, isn't it?"

She nodded fervently and I hummed in approval. "It's what I want too, sweet girl. Just let me love you."

Our gazes were locked as significant, unspoken words passed through us. My jaw clenched as I felt her hands on my ass, urging me further inside her. My muscles pulled and released as I gave her my cock, her little fingers squeezing me tightly as I pumped her.

"I love you so fucking much, Bella." My voice wavered in intensity.

She smiled sweetly, like she had the whole world at her fingertips, and reached up until her bottom lip was pressed between mine. I let the moments before I took her blood wash over me, giving myself to the ache in my throat I normally didn't allow myself to acknowledge. My mouth filled with venom and I swept it along her lip, wetting her skin against me before breaking through her flesh with slight pressure from my tooth.

I began shaking as I waited for that first hot drop to spill from her veins, groaning so loudly I nearly came the second it dripped onto my tongue. I let it burn my flesh, the smell of her open wound driving me mad as I pushed my hips harder against her.

I lapped her blood with thick, hungry strokes of my tongue, suppressing her scent from the others by devouring all of her with my mouth. I drank her slowly, like a dripping tap bringing me the sweetest velvet fluid I had ever known. From the woman I loved, craved, burned for, consumed so fucking entirely.

"Talk," I pleaded, feeling the heavy thumping of her veins against my skin. The beast inside was chiding me to take more, but he was no match for me; he truly never was.

"I love you, Edward. You're everything I've ever wanted in this world. You've helped me figure out who I truly am; I was only ever yours and you showed me that. Drink me, baby…take everything you need from me. I want to be that for you."

My eyes began stinging sharply. "Bella," I whimpered and took her torn lip once more, suckling each drop hungrily.

"It's okay," she soothed, running her hand along the back of my head, pushing against my hips as I now abandoned my thrusts for the taste of her succulent crimson. "We burn so brightly all the time, Edward. We're too much when we're together and never enough…but it's so fucking _true_…we are so real, baby, and that's why it drives us crazy like this. I'll take the burden of loving you too much, because it's the only reason for me to exist."

I sucked her lip hard between mine, causing her to cry out in a mixture of pleasure and pain. I took one last drop of the gift she gave me and kissed her with her blood sliding along our tongues. "You are all I have, _Isabella_. Nothing else…I want nothing else," I murmured, moving in and out of her with a speed I could barely contain.

Her entire body froze and her mouth fell open widely in a silent scream, her eyes shut tightly from her climax as she scrambled to bring me closer. I pumped her hard and fast, my hands sliding over every inch of her body until I jerked my hips sporadically, pinning her flat against the mattress as I filled her deep with my cum.

I was alive.

I swear to God…she gave me life, and that was worth more than our painful moments apart or the uncertainty of the future.

This was what we lived for.

I fell against the sheets and pulled her on top of me, letting her sticky skin cover the hard planes of my body. Our chests rose and fell in unison, only furthering the proof of what we were. The words were off of my tongue before I even registered them.

"Without the other, we cease to exist," I breathed against her neck, kissing her overheated skin.

Her dark eyes were gazing down into mine with the knowledge of a thousand lifetimes. She understood far more about this world than a girl of eighteen ever should have. With her hands in my hair, she smiled widely.

"Then let us crumble."

**x**

**x**

**x**

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

**Birthday Party is up next, pinkie swear! :D**

**I need to thank my lovely beta Isabel, because I would be completely and utterly lost without her. I tried to imagine what my writing would be like without her and you know, I just couldn't do it. She's a vital part of my past, present, and future stories, and for that I will forever be grateful to her.**

**Next, I totally need to pimp my girl erinbatt, author of Secret Sex:**

**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5806017/1/**

**Read ASAP! It's fuckhot and sweet and makes me swoooooooooooooooooooon and break out into a hot sweat simultaneously. You won't regret it!**

**Twitter: Brits23**

**Laid Bare thread on Twilighted: http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=7529**

**I just want to take a moment to say thank you to everyone who has been pimping me. I love you guys so much, and I'm truly humbled by your kind words. Each and every reader I have means the world to me, just like every review makes me squee like no other. **

**Please leave me your words and let me know what you're thinking. If you've pmed me or asked questions in a review, please know I'm trying to sort through them, but RL has been a son of a bitch, no joke. I promise I'll get to you, because it's important to me to answer your questions. Okay, enough love, imma give us all a toothache! :D**

**Review! Thanks!**


	19. He's Like Air

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Hey chicas! So remember how last A/N I was all like "Hey teh birthday party is next, ZOMG!" ?**

**Well, I lied. **

**I'm not gonna make anymore promises, cuz these two don't shut the fuck up OR stop humping, so yeah. :)**

**COUGHpartywillbenextchapCOUGH**

**We're picking up right where we left off in the last chap: Post coital bliss. Without further ado….**

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

*****EPOV*****

The already dim light of my room was fading with each passing second, the shadows playing across Bella's face darkening her breathtaking features. I studied her relentlessly, just as I did night after night. Only now, when I had her dark brown eyes open and gazing deeply into mine, it was as if my journey of this miraculous girl had only just begun.

There was no doubt that I would need eternity to learn every inch of her immaculate beauty.

We lay side by side in my bed, _ours_ really, not touching each other in some sort of masochistic test to see how long we could stand it. My skin was dancing against my bones, reaching for her while I willed it not to. Shudder upon shudder traveled up and down her lean curvaceous body, struggling to reunite itself with mine.

But our eyes were caressing more thoroughly than our fingers could ever wish to. She smiled at me softly and my entire chest cavity started thrumming like a drum, beating like there was a viable heart inside me. I was slowly coming to realize with each passing moment that she was _literally_ giving me life. I'd said time and again that she was giving me humanity, making me feel alive…but this was far more than that. I still had no pulse, no blood flowing through my veins - but her presence inside of me wasn't feeding my _physical _body.

She fed my soul.

It was buried deep within me and nearly impossible to find, but she reached it nonetheless. She consumed me until there was nothing left but her light.

I wouldn't waste another second not touching her soft skin.

We moved simultaneously, our hands coming together in the air between our bodies until our fingers were wrapped around one anothers, our eyes still speaking in a silent ferocity that only we could understand.

I pulled her until we were flesh to flesh, my eyes shutting tightly as I reveled in the sensation of her breath, her body, her grace.

And then her stomach grumbled.

I laughed so hard at the sudden shift in the moment that the entire bed began to shake from my exertions. Before I knew it Bella was chuckling melodically, tears of laughter welling up in her eyes as she climbed on top of me and straddled my waist.

"Will you stop laughing at me?" she feigned anger, poking at my ribs until I grabbed her wrists in my hands.

My returning smile was wide and crooked as I leaned up to kiss her tattered lip, tasting the remnants of her silken crimson. "Are you hungry, love?" I whispered.

Her fragile body collapsed into mine as I sat up against the headboard, her face pressed into the crook of my neck. "Mmhmm, but I'm more tired than anything."

I gathered up her wild hair in my hands, bringing it to one side so I could taste the curve of her shoulder. "Why don't you sleep for awhile…Charlie isn't expected to arrive for at least an hour."

"I have to get ready, Edward," she mumbled, pressing her soft lips against my throat. "I can't go downstairs with crazy sex-hair."

I chuckled softly. "I suppose not. But I want you to find slumber where you can, beautiful girl. Especially with me keeping you up half the night."

"Maybe for a bit," she whispered, lifting her heavy head to kiss my lips gently. "So Victoria…she really wants me to come to her 'Yay I Don't Munch Humans' party?"

"She does," I nodded. When I returned home from Alaska I immediately informed Bella of the conversation Victoria and I had, letting her know that our entire family had an invitation to the gathering that the Denali clan was hosting in one week. We hadn't talked much about it, too consumed with one another to give anything else much thought.

"Do you think we should go?" Bella questioned, playing with my hair between her fingers.

"It makes no difference to me, love. I think the others are going simply because there won't be much of a party if we don't attend."

Bella smiled. "No other vamp friends to invite?"

I shook my head and smiled. "Not really, Bella."

"Hmm, that kinda makes me feel bad."

"We aren't obligated to go. Honestly, as much as I trust them, I'm still apprehensive to invite you into a home of vampires that aren't our immediate family."

A small smile twisted on Bella's lips mischievously. "You know what we _could_ do…"

"What?"

"Get Charlie's permission to let me go, and then have this big old house to ourselves the entire weekend," she purred, dragging her fingernails up and down my chest.

I felt my eyes darken as she shifted in my lap. "Is that what you want, beloved?"

She nodded. "That's all I want. I feel bad for not being there to celebrate, especially when she has every right to be proud of her accomplishments. But I just want you, you know? _All_ the time."

I pulled Bella tighter against me, smoothing her long hair down her back. "I'll extend our most sincerest apologies, letting them know that I just don't feel comfortable subjecting you to so many of our kind while you remain to be the source of their hunger." Bella started laughing obnoxiously and I tickled her sides, smiling widely. "And once you're like us, I'll assure Victoria that we will be there to congratulate her in person."

"Okay," she whispered, letting out a loud yawn as she snuggled closer against me.

"Sleep for me," I whispered into her hair. "Rest now so I can have you longer tonight."

I growled deep in my chest as she shifted teasingly over my ever-present erection, her eyes shining as she placed a kiss on my lips. "Mmmm…twist my arm why don't you. Will you wake me before my dad gets here?"

I nodded and laid her head back down on my shoulder, my hands ghosting up and down her delicate spine. "I love you, Bella," I breathed, my arms tightening around her as her breathing became rhythmic.

"You're going to be my sexy, vampire-husband," she murmured nonsensically, quietly snoring as soon as the words were out of her mouth.

I smiled against her soft, tangled hair, silently praying to any higher power up above that that was all I would ever be.

_Hers._

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

I could have stayed with her just like that. Sleeping on my body while I drank up my human girl like the starving man I was always reduced to in her presence. Instead I found myself wandering down the stairs a completely satiated being. I didn't mind the weakness of succumbing to my need for her, I had concluded in recent days. After I had transformed myself in a matter of weeks from barren creature of the night to a man in love, I didn't have a sufficient amount of time to process the whirlwind of emotions I was experiencing.

With danger looming around every corner and the responsibility of righting the wrongs of my past, I simply spent my time loving Bella and living for what we had become together. Once the dust had settled and I was left with the tranquility of my human girl and the roar of intensity inside me, I suddenly found myself wondering how I'd gotten there, and what this transformation meant for me.

She moved, I moved. She was angry, I was furious. She smiled and I was shrouded in the brightest light. But I was used to being alone, fighting to ignore the self-deprecating thoughts in my head and searching for ways to make the endless time pass a little easier.

I was bitter and I was angry…

…but then suddenly I was complete.

And it all happened so fast. It was only natural that some of those unworthy feelings still carried over with me into my new world. The world where I was truly a blessed man. But I wasn't a man, and I constantly found myself forgetting that one simple aspect.

During the time that she allowed herself rest, I constantly thought about the months that had brought me from there to here, and just how fortunate I was to have found her. My thoughts were filled with the first moment I saw her in that drab Biology classroom, watching the walls and the air become alive once she stepped through that threshold.

I remembered how torturous it was for me to stay away when she called to me like a siren. I hunted and I read and I played the piano until I was certain my fingers would wither to dust, not understanding why I needed to be near that captivating girl but realizing there was no other way.

The night I gave in and watched her with heavy lids as she pleasured herself to thoughts of _me_…I couldn't have known then what would transpire between us. At first I thought it was all about sex and blood. I ignorantly assumed that after years of not tasting anything of value, I finally found the sweet drink that was designed specifically for me.

After watching her move and listening to her sweet words, I would soon realize that her blood wasn't the only thing destined for me. It was everything about her.

I had constantly mulled over her silent mind for hours on end, wishing I could figure out why I couldn't hear her inner dialogue.

I still found myself wondering that very thing.

Soon after we gave into our need for one another for the first time in her bedroom, I knew that what we were together was bigger than I could have ever comprehended. I didn't know what was inside of me then, but looking back it had always been there. Love, protection, the need to have her in every single fucking way imaginable.

No, loving Bella Swan was no weakness of mine. Together we were power, and nothing was going to stop me from keeping her with me forevermore.

I stepped down the stairs to the second level, fastening the remaining buttons on my shirt and reveling in how warm my skin still felt because of her body on mine. There was no point in attempting to contain my utter bliss.

I had just taken my human girl in a houseful of vampires. Her scent was covering every inch of me, and I had no intention of hiding it. I was finally learning what it felt like to resemble a smug bastard.

I sauntered into the kitchen where Carlisle, Esme, and Alice were fussing over numerous pots and pans. "Need help?" I questioned.

Alice scoffed at me as she paged through an ancient cookbook. "What do you know about human food?"

I shrugged, poking a finger into a pot of boiling red sauce and examining it quizzically. "I'll never understand why they'd willingly consume this," I murmured to myself.

Esme smacked my hand and glared at me playfully. "Get your fingers out of my marinara sauce, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!"

I raised my eyebrows at Carlisle, to which he chuckled heartily. "Son, it's probably best not to invade her space right now. I believe she's found her calling."

"It seems so," I smiled. "She did use all four of my names, after all."

Carlisle gazed at his wife lovingly as she handed me a dish towel. I wiped the offending red substance off my finger and sat next to Carlisle on the remaining barstool.

"Is Bella resting?" he asked.

Alice let out an unladylike snort. I attempted to glare at her but I found it difficult to contain my wide smile. "Yes," I said pointedly, throwing a breadstick at my petulant sister. "Where is everyone?"

"Well your _activities_ got Jasper all worked up, who in turn got everyone else worked up, so the ones who didn't have to help with the human dinner took off," Alice grumbled.

"Sorry," I murmured.

Alice winked at me. "No you're not. Anyway, it's fine. Jasper needed to hunt and Rose and Emmett…well God only knows what they needed to do. It's a good thing these two have so much control," Alice nodded at Carlisle and Esme.

Carlisle smiled and looked down to the floor while Esme playfully tapped Alice with a wooden spoon. "Sometimes it's all about anticipation, my dear," she winked.

Well, this was certainly an interaction I never would have been present for in the past. Thankfully Carlisle passed over it gracefully. "So Edward, are you nervous about our impending dinner with Chief Swan?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "He likes me well enough, I've no real reason to be anxious about it, unless Alice suddenly gets thirsty." I smirked at her as she threw the cookbook at my head. Luckily I dodged out of the way just in time.

"Please Edward. My bloodlust is almost as docile as yours. Besides, everything will go swimmingly, rest assured." I caught something lingering in her stare, and I couldn't help but question it.

"Is that so?"

She looked up at me quickly before rising from her seat. "Let's just say Charlie will see firsthand how connected you and Bella are. Trust me, it will work out for the best. Oh and you're going to ask him about having Bella join us next weekend, while you have Carlisle and Esme present to ease any of his apprehensions."

I chuckled. "You saw that the moment we made our decision, didn't you Alice?"

She shrugged her shoulders and smiled. "Perhaps."

"So that means you've decided to bring Bella to Alaska for the Denali's gathering?" Esme questioned from the stove.

I rubbed the back of my neck and studied the countertop sheepishly. "Not exactly…"

Carlisle shook his head and laughed. "Shouldn't I be the one to admonish this type of behavior?"

I smiled crookedly. "Are you going to ground me, Carlisle?"

He rolled his eyes. "I suppose I'm not fond of misleading Bella's father, but you're both adults, and it's technically none of my business."

"I'm sure we'll be just fine," I murmured, not able to wipe the smile from my face.

"I'm sure you will be," Carlisle smirked knowingly. "So have you given any more thought on where you'd like to go once we begin Bella's transformation?" Carlisle's golden eyes met mine, a hint of significance lingering behind them.

_Alaska would be more remote, but I know Victoria's presence could have the potential to complicate things. I think it would be in our best interest to reside in the cabin in Wyoming. Still far enough away from civilization, plenty of game to feed off of, not to mention we've yet to occupy our home there. The others seem to be in favor of that option the most._

Over the past couple of months we had been discussing our plan for when Bella had begun her change. We'd talked through our options as a family, deciding that either our old home front in Alaska or the vacation cabin we owned in Wyoming would be our future dwellings. Bella and I had been very apologetic about the matter, realizing what a huge sacrifice it would be for the family to uproot themselves after just settling - all because of us.

_But that's the thing about families_, Emmett had told us. _They stick together._

_Besides, I'm so over Forks_, Alice had smiled.

Carlisle had rested his hand on my shoulder. _The hospital in this town is mediocre at best. I'd say we're all about ready to move on._

Each one of them, even Rosalie, had gazed back at us with nothing but the utmost support. I soon realized, not only from their thoughts but their reactions, just how important Bella was becoming to them.

I completely understood their fervor.

Carlisle needlessly cleared his throat, bringing me back to the present. "Bella and I have agreed that we don't mind where we reside, as long as all of us are willingly together," I finally spoke. "That's truly all that matters to us."

Esme ruffled my hair and kissed my temple, smiling sweetly. "That's what we want too, darling," she whispered.

"We go to Wyoming," Alice sang, stirring the marinara sauce at vampire speed.

I couldn't help but chuckle.

A moment later the remaining three members of the family piled through the door, Emmett slapping my back heavily. "So Wyoming huh? I was hoping that's where we'd go. That cabin is huge and we've never even gotten a chance to live there. But I do have fond memories from our last visit. Remember that chandelier in the living room, Rosie?"

"I remember it falling on your head," Rosalie shook her head and smirked, plucking a dead leaf from her tousled blonde locks. I grimaced and she shot me a contemptuous glare. "Don't even act as if you're disgusted by our salacious behavior when your _human-humping _upstairs drove us all out of the house!"

Emmett slid his arms around Rose's waist and winked at me. "Thanks for that by the way, man."

Jasper scoffed. "You should be thanking _me_. I'm the one that had to endure the brunt of it. At least it gave me a small reprieve from the ever-present _intensity_."

I looked at him apologetically and he waved me off. "It's getting easier to handle by the day, brother. It's a welcome distraction from the bloodlust, anyway."

Alice's head shot up instantly. "Go to her now," she whispered so softly I could barely hear her.

I was out of my chair and to the foot of the stairs before the words were fully out of her mouth. "Are you sure you don't need me to stay and help prepare dinner?"

Carlisle and Esme shook their heads with warm smiles on their faces, while Rosalie grumbled a sarcastic, "Oh don't worry, just let _us_ do all the work for _your_ little girlfriend's father…"

I paid Rose's comment no attention as I climbed the stairs, hearing Bella stirring and realizing that something just wasn't right.

I swung my bedroom door open and took in her trembling form, her arms and legs twisting within the sheets as she cried out tenaciously in her sleep. The next second I was at her side, holding her arms still as she thrashed against my embrace, her eyes finally opening as I frantically called her name. Once she was fully aware of her surroundings, she immediately threw herself into my arms. Her naked body clung to me tightly as I shifted so I was laying down with her on top of me, whispering to her calmly that everything would be all right.

She wasn't crying but her breathing was erratic, her pulse racing out of control as she whimpered softly. I felt her muscles fighting to squeeze tighter, to fuse herself against me but to no avail.

"Bella, what happened?" I murmured, pulling the bedspread over us and enveloping her in my arms as she trembled.

"I…I don't know," she stuttered, pulling my hair tighter in her fists. "I had another dream, but Edward, it was so real. Like, incredibly real."

"All these dreams lately, beloved," I whispered into her hair.

"I don't know why."

I turned so we were facing each other side by side, smoothing my hand along the curve of her waist and down to the crook of her knee. "What happened?"

Bella swallowed thickly and after a moment, began explaining her dream. "I was in a building but it was more like a maze, and everything was white. I could hear you, but you were so far away and…something was hurting you." Her voice broke and I held her tighter, pressing my lips against her forehead.

"You were crying out in pain, agony really. And I was running but every hallway was empty…I couldn't find you. I heard you screaming over and over and I was sobbing hysterically because it was killing you, I was certain of it. And then I turned the corner and everything was so dark. You were lying there at the end of the hall, twisted and writhing and…"

She was crying now, replaying the painful scene her subconscious had created. "Bella…" I cradled her face in my hands and placed gentle kisses all over her flushed skin. "I'm right here, baby. I shouldn't have left you," I growled forcefully.

She heaved a large sigh and shook her head. "No, I just freaked out for no good reason. It was so real though, baby. I feel sick, I can still hear your screams."

My own stomach twisted with her pain. "Bella, are you worried that something will happen to me?"

"No," she said emphatically. "I don't know where all these fucked up dreams are coming from. I just know that this one really freaked me out, hardcore. Jesus Edward, if _anything_ happened to you…there would be nothing left, you know that right? You know that my heart would cease to beat without you here with me? I just…don't know what I would do if anything…"

My deadened heart clenched at the pure love behind her words. If she could even begin to comprehend just how desperately I pined for her… it would probably disturb her. But here in this moment, my only concern was to ensure her that we were both safe from harm.

She pulled her body on top of mine and gripped my hair in two handfuls, crashing her lips to mine forcefully. I moaned loudly in her mouth, kissing her back with just as much eagerness as I fought to show her that nothing was going to happen to me. "Nothing is going to hurt us, beautiful girl. But if something does threaten to take us out of this world, then we'll go together. I know neither one of us can live without the other, Bella, of course I know that…"

"Please don't let me go," she mumbled between kisses, her tongue hot and urgent against mine as I crushed her to my chest.

"I've got you," I grunted in assurance, gripping her ass and pulling our hips tightly together as things became heated and frantic. "Undo my belt and I'll show you just how much, _Isabella_."

She whimpered loudly and I silenced her with my lips, groaning as she fought to release me from my jeans. I laid back and watched my human girl straddle my hips, frenzied to bare my skin and feel us moving together…until I caught a faint and distant thought from the lower level of the house.

_He'll be here in ten minutes, Edward._

"Fuck," I cursed, stilling Bella's eager hands and pulling her until we were chest to chest. I kissed softly up and down her arms before pressing my forehead against hers. "Charlie will be here soon, beloved."

Bella groaned and threw her arms around my neck. "Yeah, okay," she whispered into my chest. "It hurts, Edward. Even being this close, it still hurts."

My arms around her waist tightened until she told me it was enough, something I didn't like to do in case my force was too much. But I knew she needed it now. "I promise I won't let go of you tonight, Bella. Let him see the way I love you, let him see, baby…"

I held her quietly until the doorbell was ringing down below us and Bella was frantically searching for her clothing. As soon as she was no longer exposed Alice was in my room, pulling my love out of it. "Bella, let's get you looking presentable. Brother dear, get your ass out the window and act like you were outside the whole time, got it?"

I smiled slightly and leaned in to capture my human girl's lips, lingering longer than necessary and not caring one bit. "I love you, sweet girl."

"I love you," she whispered with anxious eyes. "Hurry."

I had never seen Bella so vulnerable in the entire time I had known her, which told me that what she envisioned during her slumber had to have been more traumatizing than she had let on. The thought sickened me. Nothing had the right to cause that beautiful girl an ounce of pain.

I jumped from my window and felt like I was being ripped to shreds as the distance grew between us.

_Let's just say he'll see firsthand how connected you and Bella are. _

Alice's words from earlier replayed in my mind, and I knew that Bella's need for me wouldn't lessen any, even when her father was around to witness it.

Nor would my need to ease her fears.

*****BPOV*****

I couldn't have been sleeping for more than forty-five minutes. In that time I had visions so vivid, so real that I was almost certain I was there. Wandering white hall after white hall, listening to him scream with an agony so all-consuming, I felt it rattling my bones. I sobbed as I ran aimlessly, looking for my vamp boy and preparing to murder whoever or whatever was doing this to him.

Everything became dark and then he was laying there, pale body twisted, the tendons of his neck straining as he remained crippled from the pain. I felt every fucking bit of it.

Suddenly I heard his deep tenor calling my name and it was pure, sweet relief. This Edward didn't sound crippled with pain…he sounded desperate for _me_. I was ripped from that dark hall with Edward falling apart in front of me, and I could barely catch my breath. I looked around the darkness of his bedroom, immediately realizing his arms were around me and he was safe.

He was safe.

Logically I knew it was a dream…but then I imagined his twisted face once more and it pierced me like a knife through my heart. There I was, stark naked and clinging to him like both of our lives depended on it, terrified that he would somehow be taken away from me and sent back to the subconscious realm that threatened him. It didn't make sense, but I still felt him broken inside me.

As I fought to calm myself down, I listened to his heavy breathing, felt his arms constricting tighter, looked into his golden eyes that were becoming darker by the minute from lack of feeding. I squeezed him with everything I had, desperately attempting to verify that he was real and entirely unharmed. My panic surmounted when I let my thoughts wander to a life where he wasn't with me.

As always he calmed me down, reassuring me of everything I already knew. We were safe, he loved me, nothing would happen and if it did, it would happen to _both_ of us. I still couldn't stop clinging to him.

I was sitting in the dim light of Alice's bedroom while she fussed with my hair. The ache I felt without him was especially unforgiving, even though I knew it would only be minutes before I was with him again. It wasn't usually _this_ demanding, my need for him, but thoughts of his pain made me double-over from the force of it…and I just had to feel him next to me whether my father was there or not.

"You know it was just a dream," Alice soothed, her golden eyes meeting mine in the mirror.

"Yeah, I know. But you don't know how real it felt to me, Alice."

She hugged my shoulders, resting her temple against mine. "You're our family now, human. Nothing will happen to you or Edward, I promise."

I smiled and leaned further against her. "Thanks, vamp girl."

"You're welcome. Ready to go?"

I nodded, rising from her chair. "Alice, I can still hear him screaming, I can see him in so much pain…" I choked on my words, feeling an imaginary rope pulling me tightly around the waist, urging me to go downstairs and reunite myself with the other part of me.

She smiled at me sympathetically. "Don't let your subconscious mind torture you, Bella. You know there's nothing that can cause us such pain." Her eyes shadowed over for a minute, but she quickly regained her composure. "Come on. Edward just walked through the door and Charlie is looking mighty uncomfortable down there without you."

We descended the stairs with our arms linked, giggling softly to ourselves until we reached the main level. Edward was standing at the foot of the stairs, warm eyes sprinkled with the liquid flowing through my veins. I felt my body lunge toward him on its own accord, practically falling into his arms as he beamed at me. "I've got you," he murmured into my ear.

"Bella, you need to be more careful," my dad said, holding a bottle of beer in his hand as he approached. He observed my lip carefully. "What did you do here?"

I squeezed Edward's hand tightly. "I bit it," I smirked.

Alice's eyes widened behind Charlie's shoulder before she disappeared into the kitchen.

"Have you met everyone, Daddy?" I asked.

"Yep, we've been introduced. It's awful nice of you to have me for dinner," Charlie grumbled shyly.

Carlisle smiled graciously. "It's an honor to have you, Chief Swan. Please, if you'll join the others in the living room, dinner won't be but another moment or two."

Charlie waved his hand in the air. "Come on Doc, call me Charlie." He pointed his beer at Carlisle and nodded his head in thanks before turning in my direction. "Let's go, kid."

Alice and Esme were still hard at work in the kitchen while the others occupied the living room, watching Emmett and Jasper play _Call of Duty. _The carnal damage had Charlie immersed in no time, so I took a moment to curl up against my vamp boy on the love seat in the far corner of the room.

I smiled at him lazily, running my finger across his bottom lip. "Were you this beautiful when you were human?" I whispered.

Edward held my wrist and kissed my finger delicately. "I'm not beautiful, Bella…_you_ exemplify the true meaning of the word."

I leaned up cautiously and kissed his lips. "I beg to differ."

"As do I. Are you feeling better?"

I nodded, twisting our fingers tighter together. "Yeah, better. Just a little freaked out."

Edward took my hand and pressed it against his chest. "Feel me…I'm right here."

I laid my head against his bicep, stroking my fingers over his heart. "I can still feel it beating," I whispered.

Edward's long, cool fingers slid down my own until he captured my ring and pulled it off slowly. "Oh shit," I murmured, looking up into his amused eyes.

"He didn't see it," Edward smirked, transferring the ring over to my right hand. "I hate removing it from where it's meant to be."

We frowned at each other and I nodded in agreement. "You can leave it on my left ring finger, baby. I've always liked a little danger in my life."

Edward smirked sinfully at me from beneath his lashes and kissed my ring. "Let me ask you properly, beautiful girl, and then I won't let you remove it again."

"Promise?"

I suppressed a whimper as he kissed my ear and moaned softly into it. "Right before you fell asleep, you called me your sexy vampire-husband."

I looked up at him with wide eyes. "I did _not."_

"You did."

"That is so freaking embarrassing," I groaned, pressing my palm to my forehead.

Edward pulled me tighter into his side. "Well I quite enjoyed it."

"I'm sure you did," I mumbled.

I sighed as his lips pressed against my temple. "You'll be my wife one day, Isabella Marie. If you'll have me, I'll take you as mine forever…that's a promise."

I closed my eyes tightly and brought our clasped hands to my lips, pressing his hard skin against them. When I reopened my eyes, I was met with my father staring at us intently from across the room.

I held Edward tighter, because I had no intention on keeping from Charlie the devotion we had found within one another.

"Oh, I nearly forgot to tell you that Alice caught a vision of us asking Charlie about taking you to Alaska during dinner."

I smiled and turned to Edward, breaking the stare down with my father. "That should be interesting."

"I think it will go just fine," Edward murmured distantly. I looked up to see him submerged in an intense stare-down with Charlie, almost as if they were silently communicating some meaningful message to one another.

That was the moment Esme called us in for dinner.

We all stood and began making our way towards the dining room, Edward's arm slung around my shoulders as he kissed my forehead.

"What was he thinking?" I asked quietly.

Edward chuckled against my cheek and pulled me tighter. "He thought that you were positively glowing with happiness…and that he had never seen a man more smitten than I."

"Smitten?" I giggled.

"My sweet, beautiful girl, if you only knew how much."

I pushed Edward against the wall and groaned as I stuck my tongue down his throat before we rejoined the others.

I just couldn't help myself.

"Was that all he was thinking?" I whispered against his lips, smiling as he panted wildly. I loved knowing I affected him that way.

Edward grinned at me happily and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, leaning up to press his lips softly between my eyebrows. "He couldn't understand why or how, but he knew we belonged to each other like the sky owns the clouds." He pulled back and our eyes connected significantly, my lips parting as my breathing escalated. Edward's voice was nothing more than a ghosting whisper as he continued. "He thought that we were what forever looked like. He wished...he wished your mother would have looked at him the way you look at me."

"Edward…" My brow furrowed as his name escaped my lips in a soft whimper.

"I know, baby," he murmured against my throat, his arms tightening around me firmly enough to feel my skin pull. "Don't feel badly for him; he's so incredibly happy for you. This is _right_…and no one can deny what we are. Not even the Chief of Police."

Edward smiled crookedly as I stood on my tip toes and giggled, pressing my nose against his. "I love you," I breathed.

He moaned indulgently against my lips before Alice suddenly appeared, grabbing our ears and prying our heads apart. "Charlie thinks you're making out in here. He's a perceptive fellow," she said pointedly, raising one dark eyebrow.

We grinned at each other sheepishly, finally walking into the dining room hand in hand. I took a moment to look around the table of vampires that had so graciously accepted my father into their home. I watched Carlisle take a deep chug from a beer bottle before clinking it against Charlie's, knowing it was beyond repulsive for him to endure.

I watched Esme fuss over my dad, watched Emmett talk sports with him and watched Jasper ask questions about the most active fishing spots around the area.

In that moment it fully hit me that the Cullens were truly _my_ family. They were going out of their way to make Charlie feel comfortable, and I could see in each and every one of their eyes how important it was to them. Important because of _me._

They loved me…and I loved them enough to end the only life I had ever known and join them for eternity.

Dinner went on with warm smiles and cheerful laughter. Vampires pretended to eat and humans devoured the food that was far too delicious to be made by the ones who didn't consume it. I held my soulmate's hand beneath the table, whispering my love for him between soft kisses and watching my father realize just what Edward and I had become.

This night was only further proof that I was meant for the life I was destined to find. In a handful of hours I felt surrounded by the love of my future family…and I felt the exact moment my past had let me go.

Charlie may not have known where I was going or when, but the thoughts Edward borrowed from his mind were clearly displayed as we conversed around the dinner table. Now every time I looked at my dad there was nothing but pure acceptance and understanding behind his dark brown eyes.

Finally the pieces of my life had fallen into place, and that knowledge had brought me more serenity than I'd ever felt before.

Like Edward said, everything about this was _right_, and now…I just couldn't wait for it to begin.

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

The following afternoon I sat in Alice's desk chair, scrolling through an online catalog for the trendy store that we were nowhere near. We could have made a quick trip to Seattle, but after that horrendous dream I had the evening before, it was vital that Edward and I stayed close to one another.

I still couldn't shake the blank look in his eyes as the pain wracked every inch of his body.

Alice was in her closet, throwing garment after garment around and grumbling incessantly to herself. "I've got three closets, Bella! Three! And probably enough clothes in storage to fill ten more. Why can't I find a single fucking thing to wear?"

I smirked as I scrolled down the webpage. "Ooh Vamp girl…_language_."

Alice huffed and threw down another shirt, moving in a blur towards the radio to change the mellow song to something angry. I smiled as _Bullet For My Valentine _started raging through her surround sound speakers.

Before I could even register her movements she was back in her closet, sorting through the sea of fabric and lace. I hummed appreciatively as I stumbled upon a cute little black number that caught my eye. "What about this one?" I murmured beneath the roaring music, knowing that she'd hear me regardless.

She poked her head out the closet door and looked toward the ceiling as I decided that I would buy the black dress in question. Alice smiled widely. "Fits like a dream and makes your ass pop. Size four…don't forget those pumps on the third page of the shoe section."

I shook my head at her and laughed, saying my thanks as I added the dress to my shopping cart. Who needed to go shopping when I had a psychic vampire to tell me whether or not an outfit would look good on me?

I turned my attention toward the window facing the dense forest surrounding the Cullen home, feeling a sharp pang of sadness in the pit of my stomach. Edward had left me sometime around five a.m. to go hunting with the guys, practically against his will. Considering there would be several humans in their home in about six hours time, it was important that they filled themselves to the brim.

"Alice are you positive you don't need to hunt before the party? I'm sure I can occupy myself somehow. I hear the internet is filled with porn," I shrugged nonchalantly.

Alice popped her head out of the closet once more. "Sorry human. As much as you'd like some alone time to flick your bean, we've got outfits to coordinate. The ladies and I went hunting after dinner with the Chief last night." She walked to the bed and threw a pile of clothing on top of it before continuing. "Besides, if I need a snack I figured I could always take a little nibble off of you."

I squealed and slapped at her shoulders as she pulled on the leg that was tucked underneath me and started making obnoxious "NOM NOM" noises while pretending to munch my leg. My laughter was so out of control that tears started pouring down my cheeks.

"Alice, stop! You are such a creeper!" I yelled as she finally let me kick her away.

"Yeah, says the girl who wanted to watch porn in _my_ room!"

I rolled my eyes. "Like I need porn. Seriously, I get more action than most people experience in an entire lifetime. I should probably take a vacay from all the sexing but then I think about how much I really don't want to do that and the urge miraculously disappears."

Alice chuckled and stood behind me as I turned my attention back to the computer. "Buy that green lacy top and the peep-toe pumps. It's time to dress me so hurry up!"

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, adding said garments to the cart before checking out quickly.

I stood next to the bed and sorted through her pile, mulling over what I liked best. I looked up to see Alice staring at me.

"What?" I asked self-consciously.

"So your bean…how often does it get flicked exactly?" she inquired.

I gaped at her. "Are you seriously asking me that?"

She giggled. "What, haven't you ever participated in girl-talk before?"

"Not really, I'm used to hanging out with a bunch of male juvenile delinquents. And the most racy thing Angela ever asked about was whether or not she was a bad person for not doing the extra credit homework in trig."

"Oh," Alice murmured.

I sat down next to _Mount Alice's Clothing _and thought about what she was asking me, realizing that it would be nice to talk about my vamp boy - without giving away too much, of course.

"A lot, Alice. _A lot _A lot."

She plopped down next to me on the bed and grinned widely. "I figured as much. I can't believe you can handle being worked over by a vampire so often when you have such a delicate body."

I shrugged, my eyes glossing over as I looked off into space. "Edward knows how to touch me in just the right way to keep me safe," I whispered.

We fell silent as Alice stared at me questioningly. "Two times a day?"

I waggled my eyebrows. "On a slow day, maybe."

"No wonder she walks funny. Maybe we should get her an icepack for her birthday so she can cool down her lady bits."

My head snapped over to the open doorway to see Rosalie leaning against it, grinning like a bitch.

"Oh, don't worry about me. Edward has a built-in ice pack," I winked, causing both Rosalie and Alice to crinkle their noses. I laughed, holding my hands up. "Hey, _you_ asked!"

"I _definitely_ didn't ask," Rosalie grumbled.

"Hmm, sounds like someone's not getting nearly enough play. Can vampire's even _get_ erectile dysfunction? Maybe Emmett should talk to Carlisle about some medical assistance in the hard-on department," I smirked.

"I'm so telling him you said that," she pointed at me threateningly.

I laughed. "Go ahead. So why is it that you show up for sex conversations but otherwise you're usually too stuck up to chill?"

She shrugged one shoulder and walked towards Alice's closet, going through the clothing that was still remaining on its hangers. "I've never been the squealy girlfriend type."

"Is that your coded way of telling me that you're happy I'll be your sister?"

She turned towards me, giving me a serious look. "I still think you're an idiot for giving up humanity, but I guess if I have to be stuck with yet another woman for eternity, it's not _entirely _horrible that it's you."

I turned to Alice with wide eyes, pretending to become verklempt. "Oh my God, I think I'm going to cry."

Alice smirked and stood from the bed. "Rosalie is just used to a lot of cocks in the hen house. It took her forever to warm up to me."

Rosalie scoffed. "Yeah because you bounced around and wanted to do make-overs! It was like having a new pet Chihuahua in the house."

Alice's eyes darkened. "If you're comparing me to a dog, Amazon, you better take it back this instant."

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Easy, Princess. I was referring to your similar energy levels, not those big puppy dog eyes," she crooned, pinching Alice's cheek.

"You _are_ a bitch," Alice muttered.

"I don't get why the two of you are so surprised by this?" she chuckled, turning from the closet after she had become bored with it. "Speaking of annoying dogs, when are your _boys_ coming, Bella?"

I shrugged. "I don't know if they are."

Alice looked at me sympathetically. "They must still be contemplating it, but I'll let you know if everything disappears."

I nodded and threw a purple dress in Alice's direction. "I like this one."

"Hmm, perhaps," she murmured, thinking quietly to herself.

I stood from the bed and pressed my forehead against the rain-soaked window, searching through the condensation and wishing like hell I could see my vamp boy walking through the tree-line. It had been almost eight hours since I'd been with him, and I was feeling anxious without him by my side. It helped to be preoccupied with Alice, but things had been so much _more _since yesterday. My vivid nightmares, in addition to the epiphany at dinner made it even more unbearable to be apart from him.

"So what's your deal, you want to lunge yourself off of the roof every second you aren't with him?"

I closed my eyes at Rose's blatant question. "It's hard to explain."

Alice wrapped her arms around me and stood on her tiptoes to rest her chin on my shoulder. "You should try."

I turned around and smiled. "Trust me Alice, there's no way Rosalie wants to hear about _my_ matters of the heart. Besides, you know what it feels like to be madly in love."

Rose picked up the Cosmo lying on Alice's bedside table and began paging through it. "I just don't get why it's always life or death with you two."

I laughed. "Mostly it's just death."

"Jasper says it feels different to him," Alice spoke quietly.

"What do you mean?" I asked, sitting in her desk chair as she sat on the edge of the bed.

Alice smiled softly. "Well it's no secret that it takes a lot out of him to be around you and Edward. It's nothing for you to feel guilty about. Jasper has learned to deal with his gift the best he knows how…but your connection threw him for awhile."

I shook my head. "I didn't know it was that bad."

Alice shrugged. "He hid it from Edward well and it's certainly getting easier on him, but ever since Edward realized he was in love with you, it fills my husband with such an overwhelming intensity. Sometimes it overtakes him…envelops him with so much emotion he feels like he could burst. He controls it after awhile…with a little help from me of course."

"You ask me to explain it," I whispered, shaking my head in awe. "But I just don't think I can."

"I don't mean to pry, Bella. But the connection you and Edward have fascinates me. Not only because of what it does to Jasper, but because of the way you can _feel_ it in the air around you. You must have so much bottled up inside…it might not hurt to let some of it out."

I breathed deeply, glancing in Rosalie's direction to gauge her reaction. She was watching me closely. "Oh please, Bella. I won't mock you, not about this. I may be a bitch but even I know where to draw the line."

I ran my fingers through my hair and prepared to discuss everything that had been inside of me since the moment I met Edward…for the first time. I'd experienced it every day and fought to explain it to him time and again. But never had I taken the opportunity to just _talk_ about what we were together. Alice was right…there was no doubt in my mind that it would help with the constant heaviness I harbored inside me.

I smiled reverently and looked up into Alice's warm eyes. "He's like…"

*****EPOV*****

"He's like air," she whispered gently. "When he's by my side I inhale him like my life depends on it. It's easy to breathe him in and just like the breeze, he feels so fucking good on my skin. But when he's gone…it suffocates me. My lungs can't find the air I need to survive because he takes everything with him when he goes. And I try to be…normal. I try focus on anything but the fact that he isn't there, but there _is_ nothing else. I don't know…"

Alice stood from the bed and knelt next to my human girl. "It's got to be hard to feel like that all the time."

I pressed my hand over my still heart, fighting to stay upright as the love of my existence spilled her soul to my sisters. The second I had concluded my hunt I was rushing towards the house, frantic to be near my Bella after hours apart. I knew she was still feeling on edge about her nightmare, and I was practically unhinged from the necessary distance we put between one another. All I had consumed in terms of blood was Bella's in the past few days and while I had been tasting her more than normal lately, it wasn't enough to fill me.

Alice's thoughts practically barreled me over as I approached the outside steps leading to the front door.

_Listen, Edward. You need to hear this and she needs to release some of this pent up emotion. It wouldn't be a bad idea to find a confidante for yourself as well._

I quietly let myself into the house and began walking the stairs slowly as if I were in a daze, observing Bella staring out the bedroom window through Alice's mind. My heart lurched anxiously as my sister suggested that Bella tried explaining to them what we were.

It was one thing to try and put it into words to each other. It was an entirely different matter to hear her speaking about me to others. I felt as though I was invading her privacy, but as soon as I started backing down the stairs, Alice was mentally stopping me.

_She won't mind, Edward. Listen to how much she lives for you. You know that she loves you but I don't think you realize how much. Whatever you feel for Bella…it's just the same for her. You deserve her love…you need to embrace it._

Now here I was, listening to my purpose as she compared me to the air that kept her living, and attempted to describe the ache that only we could truly understand.

"I probably sound like a lovesick idiot," Bella chuckled softly.

Alice shrugged. "I don't think you do…you sound like a girl who wants to talk about the man she loves."

I clenched my fists tightly as Bella gave my sister a bright, wide smile. She looked so happy as she dropped her gaze to the floor and searched for the right words to say. "While I'm lying there at night, trying not to fall asleep…sometimes I just close my eyes and attempt to concentrate on what he makes me feel. I can't do it for long because it's like my skin is cracking. I can't hold all the love I have for him inside me, which only furthers my point that I have no business being human when I'm capable of craving so desperately like this."

Rosalie scoffed. "That's precisely why human-beings should fall in love with other humans. Being with Edward is practically tearing you apart at the seams!"

Bella stood from her chair and began pacing in front of the bed, her heart stuttering then racing as the blood sped through her veins. "But isn't that the way it's supposed to be?" she chuckled humorlessly, her hands gesturing for emphasis. "Why would you want to be _kind of _in love when you can be with the one person that's literally the other part of you? It does fucking hurt…it hurts like hell to feel like this all the time. But for every bit of pain, oh God, is there pleasure. I'm not just talking sex or whatever. I mean, his hand in mine…his _hand_…" Bella swallowed thickly and I suppressed a moan as the tears formed in her eyes. "Just holding his hand makes me feel like I belong in this world…he's all I ever…"

She trailed off again and I knew it was becoming too much. It was always too much and yet I still found myself needing more.

There was no fucking way I deserved this type of love from a miracle such as her.

Alice took her hand and smiled at her. "Oh, Bella."

"I guess I'm not so good at the _talking_ part, but the pausing and stuttering, I'm an old pro at," Bella chuckled shakily.

I couldn't wait another second to be connected with her, the stairs disappearing beneath my feet until I was leaning against the doorframe, the power of her words making it hard to remain standing as I struggled to inhale the air I truly didn't need. Her head shot up and we instantly met, a world of relief swimming inside her mahogany eyes.

I was beaming at her with a tranquil adoration that I couldn't accurately define, at peace with our intensity and eager for more, despite the constant aching and desperation. Bella stood and moved toward me as if she were mesmerized by my presence, my unwavering stare leading her until she was standing centimeters away from me.

I inhaled shakily as I drifted the back of my hand along her heated cheek, feeling a tingling hum of electricity slide throughout every inch of my body.

_I was home._

Her little hand covered mine against her face, and the exhale I released trembled violently. "Ladies, if you don't mind, I need to steal my beautiful girl away." I refused to take my eyes from hers as I addressed my sisters, the heat prickling along my spine as she twisted my shirt in her grip.

I didn't wait for them to reply as I scooped her up in my arms, her legs instinctively wrapping around me as I ran to my room in a blur. I shut my door behind us and leaned her against it, pushing her by her inner thighs until she was spread wide around my waist.

My fingers curled around her legs and my fingers trembled not to hurt her, but I knew it was too much. Every inch of my body was quivering uncontrollably, her previous words affecting me more than I ever could have imagined. Alice was right when she said I needed to hear the extent of Bella's feelings. Because no matter how immeasurably I knew she loved me, deep down I was convinced she could never feel as ardently as I.

I had been a fool, because everything about us was mutual…

…except for our strength.

God I needed to hold her so fucking tightly.

I pressed my forehead against hers and whimpered as my hands squeezed her thighs. I groaned agonizingly at her sharp intake of breath, and I pressed my lips against hers. "I'm so sorry, Bella…"

She buried her fingers in my hair, moaning into my mouth as she shook her head minutely. "No, Edward…please don't apologize for this. Do anything…do _anything_, baby."

My eyes burned with thick venom as I scrambled against her, pushing until I could feel her - soft and hot - pressing back against me. I gripped the waistband of her jeans and ripped the fabric like it was nothing.

I tore at her like a wild beast until there was nothing keeping her skin from my eager hands. I kissed her until she begged me to breathe, letting her take the air from my lungs until my lips were sliding slowly, reverently against hers. I was so fucking hungry for her taste.

She pulled at my shirt with frantic fingers until I discarded my clothing haphazardly. Our heavy breathing rang out together like a synchronized melody. It was so loud and disorienting, so all-consuming that I felt like we were drowning in it. Her breath on my tongue and her hands fighting like hell to push into my flesh…it was all I could feel, all that existed.

Bella reached between us and grabbed me so gratifyingly hard. I cried out loudly as her hand twisted and squeezed my achingly solid cock. I buried my face in her neck as I reveled in her touch, my mouth watering for a quick taste of her sweet crimson. I swept my tongue across her bite mark, feeling it pulse against my wet skin as I sucked the venom loudly from my teeth.

"Am I everything to you, Bella?" I moaned, slamming my palm against the door as she pushed the head of my cock against her hot, slick entrance.

"You know…you _know_," she cried, shifting her hips against me as I cradled her ass in my hands, pulling her tighter.

"Tell me," I begged erratically, sliding the back of my fingers down her sticky abdomen and between her legs until they were buried in her sweet pussy, pumping and twisting inside of her agonizingly slow.

She burned me…God did she burn so fucking good.

"You're everything. You are _everything_…do you understand me?" she held my face tightly in her hands as she searched my eyes hungrily. "Please tell me you know…"

I closed my eyes as she fought to hold onto sanity when we were like this, groaned at the feel of her chest rising and falling against mine. I slid my fingers from her immaculate heat and wrapped them around her hand that was stroking me. I spread her juices between our fingers until they were covering my cock, our eye contact never breaking as our fingers entwined around my hard skin.

Slowly I pulled her hand away and pinned it against my chest as I entered her in one fluent motion, living for the moment her eyes would widen and then become heavy-lidded as she took me inside her. "Why do we let it hurt us when we know we'll have forever?" I asked her softly, swallowing heavily as I swept a strand of hair away from her cheek.

She smiled softly and brushed her lips against mine. Back and forth our mouths caressed, never kissing but joining together passionately. "It's not something we let happen, Edward. There's simply no other way."

I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her chest tight against mine as I pushed her hips against the door. The wood creaked beneath us as we made love like we'd never have another chance to. It was loud and it didn't matter. Nothing mattered…because I finally understood.

Back and forth I rocked her against the door, filling her until I couldn't move any deeper and slowly sliding back out. So slowly…until eventually something feral released inside me.

I felt my eyes darken to pitch black, my insides quivering like jelly as I pinned her hands above her head. Something akin to fear and arousal and pure possession came over me. "I love you," I growled forcefully, pushing forward against her until there was nothing but our skin pressed firmly together.

"I love you," she gasped as I released her hands and lifted her legs until her knees were pressed against her chest. My movements were fast and it startled her but in that moment I just couldn't suppress my true nature.

I was still a beast after all, even if I was unequivocally hers.

Our bodies slapped loudly as I gradually picked up my pace, her eyes wide with arousal and a hint of fear as I bared my teeth at her. "I'm not a man, Bella," I whimpered in a deep grunt, spreading her knees wider as I pounded into her faster.

"I know what you are, baby," she whispered, wrapping her fingers around my forearms where I had her pinned against the door, slowing our movements infinitesimally. "Don't feel like you're doing something wrong. And don't think I have some false pretense about who you truly are." Her eyes ran hungrily up and down my body as she slid her finger into my mouth. "I want you just like this," she breathed.

Bella cried out loudly as I hit her deep, my teeth coated with venom as I moaned loudly. "I still worship you…I'm not _only_ this," I begged her.

She resisted my hold beneath her legs until I released them, allowing her to wrap her thighs around my waist and bring us so desperately close together. We let the silence consume us as I pounded her so viciously I could almost feel her skin bruising from my fervor. I couldn't stop. She didn't want me to.

Bella growled loudly as she wrapped her arms around my neck, our noses sliding together as she worked herself up and down on my cock at a slower pace. "Why are you always at odds with yourself, Edward? Man or beast…do you think it fucking matters to me? You're _both_ and that's what I want…you don't need to pick a side, baby. There's nothing to feel ashamed of because soon enough I'll be like this too. Christ Edward, I already _am_, and I can't wait for the day when you'll feel my strength. Now fuck me, love me, _please_, just let it all go."

I buried my face in her neck and ran my hands up and down her heated body as we worked together, embracing who we were and what we would forever be. "I heard you," I confessed against the tender skin of her bite mark.

"I was hoping you did," she breathed, pushing her teeth against my shoulder and trying like hell to make me feel it. "Didn't you know before?"

I sucked her skin fully into my mouth, causing her walls to pulse tightly around me. "I did but…watching you try to put into words what they will never fucking understand? It meant more than anything. You love me like I love you, Bella. I didn't know it was possible."

Her tears were hot against my flesh as I reached between us, rubbing her swollen pussy in heavy circles where I entered her. "Did you doubt me, Edward?"

"Of course not, baby," I groaned, feeling my balls tightening and knowing I couldn't last for much longer, not with the significance of this moment. "It just never occurred to me that I could be worthy enough of that kind of devotion from you."

Bella moaned in frustration. "Edward, I love you," she whispered heavily into my ear. "Do _you_?"

I exhaled shakily and grabbed her by the hips, thrusting into her frantically once more as our mouths pressed loosely together. "You make me…you make me feel like I could."

I reached down and stroked her clit between my fingers, catching her just in time as she exploded around me in frantic cries. Every inch of her burning walls enveloped me entirely until I was shuddering violently and falling so deeply…

Falling until we were limbs and breaths and fucking _eternity_ as we cradled each other with shaking bodies huddled on the floor. We were becoming undone again, succumbing to the ache and the overwhelming need for _more. _I wanted to tell her how much I loved her and how desperately I wanted to be worthy of her adoration. But words had no place in this moment…they couldn't do justice like fingers dragging along flesh, or frantic whimpers into open mouths.

Our painstaking need was becoming more familiar to me by the second. I recognized it like her heartbeat and her gentle voice whispering sweet words into my ear.

"It doesn't have to hurt us, Edward…it's what makes us thrive," she breathed.

I kissed her hair and stroked each expanse of her gorgeous body I could reach. "I know, beloved."

"When will you see how amazing you are?" she pleaded softly into my chest.

I couldn't answer her, not now. Instead I kissed her lips and surrounded her body with mine as we tangled ourselves on the floor, completely content, completely satiated…

And exactly where we were destined to be.

**x**

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**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

**Love to my beta Isabel….like serious freaking love.**

**Love to my readers, reviewers, twittererers…follow me if you don't. Brits23.**

**And review, cuz I love it!**

**Later, my lovelies!**


	20. Happiness and Shame

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Hey guys! I'm so freaking sorry for the delay. It's safe to say that I'm overworking myself, with RL and writing two and a half fics. Ah well, things will slow down after the summer, so bear with me until then! :)  
**

**Isabel is my amazing beta and lifesaver, but by now I'm sure you all know that! Thanks, hon!**

**Okay, so as you can see down below, I had to pull an SM and throw in a POV from Jakie. On the bright side, my Jake is cooler. So there.**

**Let's roll!**

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*****Jacob-POV*****

It's kind of fucked up how quickly your life can change.

One second you're this irresponsible kid who dabbles in less than savory shit, but life is good nonetheless. The next you're the biggest part of some kind of master plan. I've never been worth much. I'm the skuzzy rez kid who messes with cars and imbibes in the illegal substances that make this life a little easier to endure.

No one ever saw me as anything other than a member of Sam's crew. The kid with the crippled dad who's on food stamps and lives in that broken down shack on the corner between the Clearwaters and the Atearas.

I accepted all of that though. There was no one on the rez to judge me because we were all poor, and we were all looking for an escape one way or another. Mine was slinging dope, chilling with my boys and the one girl who was way to fucking good to be hanging out with the likes of us.

Originally I was torn on where the turn of events had brought us. On one hand, I felt something deep within me that told me I needed to kill the Cullens, no matter how good they were. Another part of me was thankful they took Bella out of this crap-ass life, because she deserved so much more.

When I first found out that the whole vampire, shape-shifter thing wasn't just something the elders made up when they were hitting the rez shine too hard, I wanted no part of it.

I knew I didn't have a choice in becoming what our ancestors concluded we were destined to be. But I sure as hell didn't want to be the leader of that shit. Sam loved power. He loved having a group of people looking up to him, hanging on his every word and following his orders to a T. He made a damn good dealer with his hard-ass leadership skills, so it was no surprise when he happily took over my position as Alpha.

Sam was an angry person. He was a sucker for violence and giving him a wolf gang to cause destruction with was right up his alley. His hate for the Cullens ran very deep, and not just because of what they were. Bella was a major pawn in this cluster-fuck of hate. I couldn't deny the fact that I felt it too, somewhere deep inside. Seeing the Cullens for _who_ they were rather than _what_ they were was a hard thing for me to overcome, but I did nonetheless.

Quil and Paul were more laid back with the whole wolf thing. They had instincts that even they couldn't deny when it came to vampires, but they maintained the mentality of "I won't fuck with you unless you fuck with me."

But tearing up the vamp with the dreads gave each one of us a taste, and as the days went on, I realized just how much they enjoyed the game of death - I did too.

I always had a hunch that Sam had a thing for Bella, which made everything so much more complicated. He regularly hit it with a few random girls on the rez, but the way his eyes lingered on Bella made his feelings obvious and also a little disturbing. I knew what he wanted for her. He wanted her smoking and drinking, tucked beneath his arm in the garage in a little skirt. No schooling, no morals…he wanted to complete her transformation from the bright girl with a future to just another hood rat.

It was a situation that I always monitored, because there was no way in hell I would let that happen. I constantly made passes at Bella and pretended to be a nasty pervert, partly because it was funny to fuck with her and partly because I knew Sam wouldn't swoop in and make a move on her if he truly thought I wanted her like that. Bros before hos and all that shit.

I never would have turned that girl down, because she's sexy as hell, but Bella meant more to me than just a fuck. She was a damn good girl, and I lived with the guilt every day that I was the one who introduced her to this shady-ass life and my shady-ass friends.

But when I was in wolf form I felt free from every burden in my life. The growl in my chest and the ferocious power I held while I phased was like nothing I could describe. It made me feel stronger than any drug ever could. I found it easy to become addicted to feeling my skin turn to fur. But that addiction wasn't shit compared to the adrenaline rush of taking that first kill.

Our numbers were growing. We had twelve wolves now, learning what it meant to be a fearless warrior, thanks to the presence of the fucking Cullens.

The night we tore up that pony-tailed vamp was the point where everything nearly fell apart.

As soon as Dracula called me from Bella's phone and his silence hung heavily through the receiver, my instincts kicked in. I fucking knew something was wrong, so I called Sam and told him we needed to suit up.

His reply was, "fuck that."

After five minutes of reasoning with him that we needed to get there for Bella and not for the vampires he despised so much, he finally gathered up the crew and we ran over there to throw down.

When we arrived, I caught that sleazy fucker in the air, watching as Bella fell from his grip but unable to do anything other than tear him to pieces like I was born to do. I later learned that Dracula caught her, but I still felt guilty because I was entirely lost to the kill. It felt natural to tear and growl and demolish. It felt fucking _good_. Once we came down from the high and that fucker was nothing but ash, things took a turn for the worse.

Edward couldn't take the vamp on his own. He was strong, there was no denying that, but the hostile vamp was stronger. Because of the fact that he couldn't keep Bella safe in a shitty situation, Sam viewed his unsuitable protection the same as Edward being a threat to her himself.

Sam would have killed him that night. And I knew our girl like no other. She would have jumped all up in there for the sake of her vampire. It would have been a fucking blood bath and I couldn't understand why it was so vital for us to be murdering machines if it wasn't warranted.

So I manned up and took Alpha. Sam tried to fight me but there really was no point. The position was rightfully mine, and the night I took it back was the night Sam Ulley became a person I could no longer trust.

He hated being under someone else's reign. He kept his thoughts controlled while we were in pack mind, but my instincts had never been stronger. Something wasn't right.

Sam had been bitter since the second the pack began sharing each other's thoughts, learning that Bella was fucking Embry. And once he found out that Bella was hitting a vampire, he flew off the deep end.

But ever since that night on the Cullen property, I felt his animosity heavy in my bones.

Back when Sam was Alpha, there was no denying the fact that we weren't strong enough to take the Cullens down. While Sam was in control, he had every intention of letting our numbers grow and building up our strength until we could erase them from this earth.

I was all for it, until I waited for Bella on her stoop several nights after I realized my new fate, and talked to Edward like a man instead of an enemy. He was a good fucking guy, no matter how much I didn't want to believe it. And say what you want, but I've never, _ever_, seen anyone look at another person the way he looked at my girl. If you didn't realize after two seconds that they were the real deal, then you were fucked in the head.

I soon realized that the rules of the tribe that we were required to follow weren't so cut and dry.

Before I took back my birthright, I always remained in the background, monitoring the situation carefully. I knew that it was against everything I stood for to attack the Cullens just because of what they were and the fact that they took the girl Sam wanted for himself. I was prepared to intervene if he took things too far.

And that's exactly what I did the night Sam put our girl in danger by attempting to murder the people she saw as her family.

In the weeks after I took my position as Alpha, I pleaded my case to the elders. I explained that the Cullens just weren't a threat to us; that they never were to begin with. I used my grandfather as the perfect example. He was the one who brought the treaty to the table, realizing just like I did that not everything is so black and white in this world. The tribe council was torn. Some of them valued everything my grandfather stood for. Others were just as hungry for destruction as Sam.

In the end, I came out on top. We renegotiated the treaty with the Cullens, still upholding the rules that would never be bent, but opening up the opportunity for our clans to work together if push came to shove. After we all signed the agreement, I realized that becoming a peacemaker felt just as satisfying as raising hell and tearing flesh.

Sam had gone to the council several times since, telling them that I was a leech lover and that before they knew it, I would be an enemy rather than their leader.

I was straddling the line between doing the right thing and upholding the values that my ancestors instilled inside us. It was one hell of a burden to bear.

Bella started coming around while Dracula left periodically to deal with the aftermath of the vamp we killed. It was nice to have her back to chill with from time to time, and even though she wanted to reconcile with Sam and Embry, I was glad they were keeping their distance.

When Bella showed up on her birthday and we had our little heart to heart, I honestly believed that maybe she could be the one to fix all this. Sam had become a lot more mellow ever since he imprinted with Emily, a girl on the block, the week before. He was still a pissed off motherfucker and was angry that he was expected to play nice with the bloodsuckers, but the tension had lessened somewhat.

Bella invited me and Q to her birthday party and while I knew I would be uncomfortable as fuck in a houseful of vampires, it was important that I showed my face. I knew that one day the bubble would burst for her. Maybe it would be when she got her first gray hair and Dracula was still a seventeen year old punk-ass. Or maybe when that biological clock started ticking away, or when she started craving warm skin and a beating heart.

Either way, it was her life and her decision to love whoever she wanted. Hell, most of the time it's not even a choice when it comes to matters of the heart. Just because I hadn't "imprinted" with Leah, I was being told that it wouldn't last. That pissed me off to no end, which made me sympathize with Bella and the situation she was in. She was my friend for life, and when the time came for her to realize that a lifetime with a vampire just wasn't going to work, I'd be there for her when things ultimately fell apart.

The night after Bella's birthday, when Q and I were toking and chilling, he asked me what I would do if they turned Bella vamp. I laughed my ass off, which turned into a hardcore coughing fit.

After everything I'd sacrificed for them, after everything I'd done to keep them safe…there was no way in hell my girl would do me like that. I rewrote that fucking treaty for them. I practically moved mountains for them. I knew Bella appreciated it. There was no way she'd betray me like that, and really, why would she want to? The Cullens were noble, especially Edward and Carlisle. It would go against their nature to agree to a treaty that they had every intention of breaking.

I brushed Quil's comment off my shoulder and didn't give it a second thought.

Because Bella wouldn't put me in a position like that. Our friendship meant more to her.

Until suddenly it didn't.

Q and I showed up on the vamp doorstep awhile after the sun had set. Loud booming music was coming from inside as the little vamp with black hair answered the door. "I smelled you coming from a mile away," she grumbled.

I smirked at her and told her to stop flirting with me, because she definitely wasn't my type.

There were a lot of kids from Forks there to celebrate Bella's birthday, sprinkled with a few vamps to add a little variety to the mix. Quil and I grabbed one of the bottles we brought along and made the effort to get to know the people in Bella's life. It was awkward at first and maybe even a little forced. But one minute I'm giving Q the side-eye, and the next we're participating in a decent conversation with the big guy, Emmett.

And then we're playing cards, drinking and smoking and chilling with the best of them. And Bella was so fucking happy, there was no denying that. She clung onto Dracula for most of the night, but she drank and joked with us just like the old days.

I could tell when she was beyond buzzed, the moment the dark brown of her eyes was no longer visible and they were reduced to nothing but slits. Goddamn, I missed that sight.

I was pretty fucked up myself.

It became late into the night and we were still partying like we meant it. The Forks kids had gone home because they clearly couldn't hack it, and Q and I built a fire in the back, jokingly promising that it wasn't to throw the vamps in.

Things were good, and I felt more confident than ever that I had done the right thing in allying my tribe with the Cullens.

I started giving Bella shit, throwing her over my shoulder and ripping on her because she was all feeble and no match for me. I knew her head must have been swimming. By this point she was drunk as fuck and there was no one more fun than a drunken Bella.

And in her carefree, joyful mindset, she let slip the one secret she clearly never had any intention of telling me.

"Just wait until I'm a vampire, Jakehole. I'm so gonna beat your ass."

Everything stopped.

The vamps remained frozen to the spot, looks of horror in their eyes. "What the fuck did you just say?" I growled as I set Bella down.

Watching realization wash over her face as she understood what she'd done, I began shaking uncontrollably, recognizing the familiar need to phase. But I reined it in, the strong feeling of betrayal overshadowing all else.

Immediately Edward was behind her, talking to me all soothingly, like he was trying to talk me down from the edge or some shit.

"Jacob, we can talk about this."

_The fuck we could._

As I stood in the backyard of the people I thought I was right in defending, I had never felt more alone.

I let my rage unleash, the vibration starting in my toes and stretching out to every limb as I busted out of human form and became the beast I truly was.

I'm sure Dracula tried to pull her out of the way in time, but I couldn't deny the cracking of a fragile bone I felt against my side before I took off.

I ran into the woods with Q flanking my side. Guilt, anger, sadness and shame wracked through every inch of me.

The one person I trusted in this world had made a fool out of me. She and the natural enemies I stood up for when I had every reason not to had taken advantage of every single thing I'd ever done for them. And now, I had no fucking clue what my next step would be.

**x**

*****BPOV*****

**x  
**

I was completely and utterly spent. Somehow I ended up lying on Edward's bed in a towel, bathed and numb from head to toe. My eyes were beginning to hurt from being clenched so tightly, but I couldn't seem to open them for the life of me.

If I thought about it hard enough, I could remember Edward lifting me from the floor after he took me hard and fast against his bedroom door. Apparently hearing me tell his sisters how I felt about him had brought out more of his passion than I knew was possible. It still bothered me that up until now he didn't believe I loved him like he loved me, but it only proved that our connection wasn't just an easy fix for his years of misery.

I heard him whistling from some distance away, so clearly he wasn't that distraught over his issues of self-worth. As far as I was concerned, we had a lot to be happy for; the rest of the bullshit could be dealt with once my transformation was complete.

I groaned and tested out my limbs. I could barely lift my arms, each of them seeming to weigh a hundred pounds at least. I didn't even have the energy to test my legs. I was overcome with the memory of Edward and I in the shower. I was so exhausted and numb with the pleasure he'd given me that he simply held me in his arms, washing every inch of my body with care as he whispered sweet words into my ear.

And once we were clean and his fingers were working frantically over my body, he got down on his knees and fucked me with his tongue and his mouth until I was coming so violently that irrepressible screams were escaping my lips.

Two more orgasms from his skilled tongue and I was reduced to a quivering mass of Jell-O as he lifted me from the shower floor.

I raised my head slightly off the pillow and forced an eye open, my vision clearing only to find my vampire standing in his closet wearing a pair of dark jeans.

"What the hell did you do to me, vamp boy, slip me a roofie?" I murmured groggily, running my fingers lazily through my wet hair.

The next second he was leaning above me, smiling the most beautiful smile. "Are you okay?" he whispered, sliding his index finger along my bottom lip before leaning down and kissing me softly.

"I can't move…God Edward, you are downright lethal with the pleasure. Don't get dressed, just come here." I pulled him down until he was lying beside me, our legs tangling as I pushed my face into his neck. "Stay with me right here. No clothes, just love and talking and junk food and movies…let's just have a night."

I moaned deeply as his cool hand slid up my outer thigh. "And what would I have for _my _snack, beloved?"

I grabbed his hand and slid it up my side to the bite mark on my neck. "This…" I moved his hand down my body until it was resting against my inner thigh, where he had taken my blood in the past. "Or this. Whatever you want."

He groaned deeply and rested his forehead against mine. "What are you trying to do to me, Bella?"

I smiled hazily. "I want to make you feel like I do. Lost in a euphoric haze because of multiple life-altering orgasms from the person you love. I just want you to be this happy, baby."

"I am, I promise you," he whispered against my lips. "But we definitely can't spend our night barricaded in this bedroom, no matter how badly I want it."

I looked at him in confusion and he chuckled heartily. "Are you suffering from memory loss through post-coital bliss, love?"

I scoffed. "Probably. You've given me four orgasms to your one. I need to even up those numbers, immediately."

Edward hissed as my hand went to the bulge in his pants. "Bella, you just say the word and I will personally call every person invited to your birthday party and inform them that it's canceled. And then you can play as much catch up as you'd like."

"Aw fuck," I groaned, pulling my hand out from between us and wrapping my arm around his shoulders. "I forgot."

"I see that," he smirked.

We were quiet for a moment as we gazed at each other. "I want you again, already. Will this feeling ever end?" I breathed.

Edward hummed deep in his throat. "Do you want it to, Bella?"

"No, never."

His eyes never left mine as he slid my ring off of my left finger and replaced it on my right. He flinched the moment it was taken from where it was meant to be; I hated removing it just as much as he did. "I want you to have fun tonight, beloved. Enjoy the company of your friends and live the remaining moments of your humanity to the fullest."

I kissed him slowly as his fingers ran up and down my abdomen. "Are you telling me to get my drink on, play cards and listen to ghetto music like I used to back in the day?"

He smiled crookedly. "Yes, if that's what you want to do."

"Thank you," I whispered gently, looking at him with an immeasurable amount of emotion in my eyes. "I like the idea of saying goodbye to my past with one last hurrah. And the best part is that I can share it with you. Although I should warn you, I get really touchy-feely when I've been drinking."

His eyes darkened, making the coil hidden within me start to constrict. "And who exactly will you be touching and feeling, Isabella?" he questioned darkly, lifting my wrist and licking the line of veins beneath my skin.

"Only you," I whispered, sliding my fingers into his belt loops and pulling until our hips were pressed tightly together. "You know it's only you, baby."

With a growl he sucked my tongue into his mouth, his hands traveling urgently up and down my body as we struggled to get closer to one another. "I want to feel you cum, please Edward. Come up here," I begged him, undoing his pants and pulling them down to his knees before removing them the rest of the way with my feet.

He looked at me questioningly for a moment before realization hit him. "Like that? Are you sure?" I hated the doubt in his voice.

"I trust you…come here." I pulled at his thighs until he was kneeling above my chest, his hard cock just inches from my lips. My mouth was watering, I wanted to taste him so fucking badly.

"Bella," he groaned, gripping onto his headboard and gazing down at me. "Don't let me hurt you."

His eyes rolled back as I kissed the tip of his cock wetly. "Just let me make you feel good, baby."

And then there was a knock at the door.

Edward growled, snapping a chunk of his headboard off in his hands. "Go the fuck away!" I yelled in aggravation.

"I don't care what the hell you two are doing in there, I will pound down this door! Isabella Marie, the party I'm throwing in _your_ honor begins in less than a half an hour! Get your fragile ass down here immediately, or I swear the wrath of Alice will be like nothing you've ever seen in your life!"

Alice was scaring me. And she also referred to herself in the third person.

That couldn't be good.

I looked up at Edward and his expression could only be described as murderous. "We're coming," he growled through gritted teeth.

"You better not be!" Alice barked. "Ten minutes, or I'm busting down this door!"

With a deep sigh, Edward climbed off of me and I whined in disapproval. "Ten minutes, I can make that happen," I defended, reaching for his throbbing cock once more.

He stopped me before I got the chance.

"You're insatiable," he smiled crookedly.

"You are too," I accused.

"I am, but ten minutes isn't enough time, trust me." He leaned down and pressed his lips to my ear. "There's no doubt you could have gotten me off in seconds, beloved, but I never said I was done making you scream."

I moaned as his thumb circled my hard nipple. "This sucks," I groaned.

"Indeed," he murmured, pulling away from me with a kiss and tucking himself back inside his pants. "But next weekend is ours. The family will be in Alaska, and we'll have this entire house all to ourselves. We'll never have to leave the bedroom if you don't want to, love."

"Mmmm…I can't wait," I murmured, leaning up to kiss him softly before he stood from the bed.

He walked around to my side, helping me up and holding on tightly until I was steady on my feet. "Can you walk?" he smirked arrogantly.

I elbowed him in the gut, even though I knew he could barely feel it, and glared at him. "I can walk easier than you can with that enormous bulge in your pants, vamp boy."

He adjusted himself and kissed the top of my head before dragging me towards his closet. "I can suppress my need for you tonight, Bella. As long as you're happy, that's truly all that matters to me."

I smiled, brushing a few wet locks away from his face and wrapping my arms around his neck. "Edward, I've never been happier than this moment right here, right now."

The joy on his face mirrored my own, and even though I couldn't hole up in my vamp boy's room like I really wanted to, there was nowhere else I'd rather be tonight. I was excited to combine the people in my life from every spectrum, and enjoy them while I still had the chance.

Everything was going to be so incredibly good, and that knowledge made me more content than I ever thought I could possibly be.

**-x-x-**

"Oh my God, Quil! You are such a fucking cheater!" I squealed, starting to climb across the table to slap him, but Edward caught me in time.

"Easy, baby," he chuckled, kissing my neck languidly.

He was driving me fucking crazy. Or maybe I was especially buzzed up. Either way, life was good. "Hey," I whispered, pulling his hair until my mouth was on his ear. "What do you think my blood would taste like with alcohol in my system?"

My vamp boy's eyes had been pitch black for the last half hour. It probably had something to do with the hand job I was giving him through his jeans beneath the table. "I have every intention of finding out, beloved."

"We're going to get so fucking dirty tonight, baby," I breathed into his ear, taking his lobe between my teeth. "You can do everything to me…I want _everything_."

Edward groaned softly and went to whisper another devious promise into my ear, until I was pelted in the side of the head with a poker chip. "Are you two about done dry-humping? I'd like to smoke your ass sometime this century, B."

"Screw you, Jakehole," I chuckled. "You're going down."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," Jasper grinned from the other end of the table, eyeballing his cards.

"So much for your pokerface, Jazz," I teased.

"So what's your deal, Dracula? Why aren't you playing?" Quil nodded in Edward's direction. I smiled at Jake's nickname for him that had obviously caught on.

Edward shrugged. "It wouldn't be fair of me to play, considering I'm far more skilled than any of you."

Jake scoffed loudly. "Give me a fucking break, you're just too busy playing with Bella beneath the table."

I looked up to meet Edward's dark eyes as he smiled down reverently at me. My heart started beating in double time as I reached up and pressed my lips to his. "I love you," I breathed.

The adoration in his eyes said it all.

"Bella…"

I turned to Jasper who was smiling at me widely. "You're killing me with all the happiness, hon. I'm going to start giggling soon."

I winked at Jasper and took a swig out of the patron bottle, passing it to Jake. "All right, intermission is over, bitches. Let the spankings begin."

My smile never left my lips as I tucked into Edward's side and played poker with my friends and family.

**x**

*****EPOV*****

**x  
**

I may be resentful of a lot of things in my existence. Instead of accepting my vampirism all those years ago, I'd made myself the victim. My unworthiness reared its ugly head when I took Bella against the door after hearing her confess her love for me to Alice and Rosalie.

And all of my insecurities seemed so fucking minuscule now that I really saw what life could be.

_She was so happy tonight. _

I knew that for some miraculous reason, I was the main source of it. But my human girl thrived on having the people she loved around her. She was even cordial to Mike Newton, which astonished me. Not that he deserved her graciousness. I watched as she joked and laughed with her classmates, each one of them genuinely enjoying Bella for who she truly was. It had been months since she'd abandoned the good girl act, but with my selfish need to occupy her for the majority of the time, they'd yet to spend time with the girl I fell in love with.

Jake and Quil had shown up at our doorstep several hours after the party had started. I had suspected that it would be awkward not only for them but for us, which it was at first. But somehow the evening took a turn when Jasper walked straight up to them and held out his hand, saying, "The name's Jasper. You smell God awful and we're immortal enemies…but that's no reason to be uncivilized, gentlemen."

Everyone started conversing in different areas of the house. Vampires, werewolves and humans alike were getting along and actually enjoying it, all for the sake of my beautiful girl.

What better reason to put aside your differences than for someone as amazing as she?

After the humans decided they had had enough, we were left with the two shape-shifters as we bellied up to the poker table. Esme and Carlisle had made themselves scarce for the majority of the gathering, seemingly not wanting to be the parents who "crashed" the party.

Once the kids of Forks were gone, Jacob immediately began feeding Bella shots of tequila. I had no real issues on the matter. She seemed to be enjoying herself and it was only a matter of time before she abandoned all forms of intoxication. Believe me, I would have willingly joined her if given the option. Sadly, nothing had the ability to alter my reality.

Apart from Bella, of course.

She was literally killing me. Her little hand beneath the table was touching me in a way that should be illegal…at least in the presence of others.

I felt the predator inside me demanding to take over. My eyes were dark as night and my fists began to clench with the raw pleasure she was causing to wash over every inch of my skin. If she insisted on continuing her ministrations, it wouldn't have been long before I had fucked her on the table, no matter who was there to witness it.

But apart from the painful ache in my groin, I had never been a happier being. They began playing cards while I busied myself by reveling in my girl, shining with happiness and buzzing with inebriation. She was perfect. There were several jabs made at me for not joining in their game. I would have none of it. As far as I was concerned, I was simply there as a spectator, watching the smile upon her face and listening to the blood whizzing through her veins as she laughed.

They didn't need to know that I was complete shit at poker.

Thankfully as the night went on and the alcohol continued to affect their fine motor-skills, the card game became obsolete.

"Let's build a fire," Quil said lazily, folding his hands behind his head as he stretched. "I don't know what you vamps do for entertainment, but where we come from, we have a bonfire and drink until the fucking sun comes up."

"But hey," Jake added, standing from the table. "I swear we won't use that fire to burn your asses up. Scout's honor."

"You weren't in scouts, Jake," Bella accused, pointing a finger at him.

"Okay fine, how about my ass is too damn drunk to think about taking on a bunch of, vamps, cool?" He winked playfully and I knew no matter how many threats he vocalized, they were all in jest.

"It's a little cold," I murmured in concern, glancing in Bella's direction.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm the only one that it will affect, so I'll put on a coat. Let's make this happen!"

"I'll get some wood," Emmett offered.

I took that moment to steal away my human girl.

I grabbed her hand and backed out of the room with her walking in front of me. "Where are we going?" she whispered, even though the gleam in her eye told me she was fully aware of what was going to happen.

"You've been torturing me all night, Isabella. Where do you think we're going?" I smirked.

She pushed her soft body against mine and pulled my hair, her teeth dragging along my chin as she purred. "Well it seems to me that you look awful vampy right now, Edward. I'd like to think you're going to take me to some dark corner and fuck me senseless."

My girl was so incredibly perceptive.

It wasn't five minutes later that everyone was outside preparing the campfire and I had her relieved of every shred of clothing. I lost myself to the moment, pushing her roughly into the closest room I could find, which happened to be the laundry room.

I pushed her against the dryer and she scrambled to climb on top of it, her clumsy movements causing her to bump her head on the shelving behind her. I couldn't help but chuckle, rubbing the spot gently. "Are you all right?"

"Shut up!" she laughed, placing her hand against my chest and turning to examine the dial of the dryer. "Aren't you supposed to make this thing shake to give us some extra vibration?"

"Uh, I believe that's the washer, Bella." I smiled at her so brightly that I felt my eyes crinkle tightly on each side. She was adorable when she was slightly less inhibited.

"Oh, well should we move?" she asked like she was inquiring about the weather, shoving her warm hand down my pants and giving my cock a hard squeeze.

"Believe me, I've got plenty of vibration," I murmured, sucking the skin of her bite mark between my lips as my hands swept along her inner thighs, spreading her legs farther.

"Fuck," I groaned loudly as she pressed her fingernails against the skin of my cock and dragged them down my shaft languidly. With her constant teasing all night, I was already past the point of any sort of control. "No, we're certainly not _moving, _Bella. I'm tearing your clothes off and I'm fucking you _now_, and I'm not waiting another second."

Her eyes widened as her bottom lip came between her teeth. "Yes, sir," she murmured, leaning back on the dryer on her elbows as she gazed salaciously up at me. "If you want me so badly then you better fucking take me."

Believe me, I did.

We were loud, we were uninhibited, and after we had both climaxed with an overwhelming intensity, we collapsed to the floor.

"I guess I had that coming," she whispered wryly, kissing my chest.

"You certainly did," I exhaled. "Should we go back?"

"In a minute," she murmured softly. "I just need you like this."

I closed my eyes and held her tightly to my chest. "Do you know how much I love you, beautiful girl?"

I felt her lips curve against my skin. "I love you too, Edward. Thank you for this."

My hands slid down to squeeze her ass. "Anytime."

She attempted to pinch my side. "Not _this_, jackass. Well yeah, maybe this, but I was referring to the party."

I swept her hair away from her shoulder and kissed her neck. "Alice organized it, Bella. I merely showed up on time."

I suppressed a groan as she slid up my body and straddled my stomach, lowering her head until our noses were pressed together. "Everything I have is because of you, baby. You've put aside all of your natural instincts for the sake of my happiness. Do you know why I'm so freaking cheerful tonight that it's almost sickening?"

I chuckled. "Because you're surrounded by the people you care for?"

She shook her head from side to side. "No, because I know this is one of my last moments with them, and I'm not scared or apprehensive about it. It's because I get to hang out with them while I can before you take me into a world I know I belong in. And I know that the people I'm leaving behind will be just fine without me."

I sat us up and pressed her to my chest, kissing her hair. "You're unbelievable," I whispered, stroking up and down her delicate spine slowly. "You've still got months with them, beloved. It's not like this is goodbye."

"I know," she whispered softly. "But I'm ready for it to be."

I had no words for her gently spoken confession, but the fact that she was prepared to become immortal that very second made me ache for the moment I could make her mine forever, and my heart soared for the life-altering good fortune I'd been given over finding a woman such as her.

**-x-x-**

It took us about ten minutes to drag ourselves from the floor, only to find that I had destroyed her shirt in my haste to get it off of her. Apparently we were lucky that I had pushed us into the laundry room, because one of Alice's sweaters was hanging behind the door.

"Holy shit," Bella muttered as she pulled the sweater over her head. I followed her eyes and took in the room around us. We had completely destroyed it. Clothes were scattered all over the floor, a bottle of detergent laid tipped on its side and pouring, and the hamper was broken in two.

I couldn't help but chuckle heartily. "Just wait until Esme finds this. You'll be in a heap of trouble."

"Me?" she squeaked, slapping me as she shoved me out the door. "You're the one that did it, vamp boy."

I swung her around and held her by her hips, my front to her back as I kissed her ear. "I think we're equally responsible, love."

"Hmm, in that case you better let me do the talking. You know how Esme likes to coddle me," she smiled, stumbling slightly as we rounded the corner.

I moaned as she pushed her ass against my awakening cock. "I think I like having you under the influence, Bella," I whispered as I brought her tighter against me.

She attacked me once more in front of the stairwell until we were staggering and breathless. As tempted as I was to drag her back to the laundry room, I had to remember that there were several people outside waiting for her to arrive. I reluctantly wrapped her in her coat and kissed her nose, promising that as soon as the party was over, she would be coming in every way imaginable.

She smiled wickedly, and I decided that maybe it wasn't so bad, enjoying certain aspects of the life of a human.

Especially when they put the love of my life in such a euphoric mood.

**-x-x-**

We arrived in the backyard where my family and the wolves had constructed a makeshift fire pit in no time flat. It looked as though someone had taken down a few trees in order to make benches around the fire. For being made in a matter of minutes, it truly wasn't a bad set up.

The moment Bella and I arrived amongst the others, we immediately became the brunt of their jokes. We realized that it was no secret what we were doing, and we certainly didn't care who knew it. Bella got it worse than I did considering she was wearing a different shirt, but I just held her tighter and whispered my apology.

She turned to kiss my lips and told the others to "shut the fuck up."

My love for this girl knew no bounds.

She was quickly ripped out of my arms as my brother lifted her up over his head. "You are so awesome when you're drunk, Bella! I'm starting up a petition demanding that you stay intoxicated whenever you're around me, sound good?"

"Put me down, Emmett, unless you want me to hurl on you," she chuckled. Once he set her down and she adjusted her shirt, she looked up at him with a hurt expression. "So are you saying you don't like being around me when I'm sober, asshole?"

Emmett put his hands up in submission. Nah, little sis, you're cool regardless. I just like seeing you stumbling and even more outspoken than you usually are. It stirs shit up."

Bella smiled and wrapped her arms around my waist. "So you want me to be more of a bitch?"

Emmett shrugged just as Rosalie came up to nestle underneath his arm. "What can I say? I'm fond of demanding women."

"Or a glutton for punishment," Bella muttered under her breath.

"Maybe a little of both," I whispered into her ear, leaning further down to kiss her neck. "The next time the opportunity presents itself, ask Emmett about his bondage pants."

Bella looked at me with wide eyes and I chuckled. "Come on, love."

We took our seats upon the improvised wooden benches and immediately Bella was handed a bottle. She lost herself in conversation with Jake and Quil, so I kissed her forehead and walked over to Carlisle and Esme, who had recently made their return.

"So who's responsible for destroying your backyard?" I chuckled.

"I don't know Edward, who's responsible for destroying my laundry room?" Esme countered with one eyebrow raised.

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open. "How did you..."

Carlisle cupped his ear playfully. "If I try, I can still hear the dripping of the laundry detergent as it spills all over Esme's brand new tiling."

I glowered at him and he chuckled as Esme rushed into the house to assess the damage. "Well, now I feel rather bad," I cringed.

Carlisle waved his hand. "It can be replaced next week if need be, Edward, you know that. How was the party?"

"I can honestly say, better than I ever expected it to be."

"Bella seems to be enjoying herself," he observed, nodding over to my human girl as she talked to Emmett and Jasper animatedly.

"She's incredibly happy," I murmured, watching her closely.

"And that makes _you_ happy."

I nodded. "But still, it's like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, Carlisle. I can't understand how I'm worthy of having her, of feeling this way. Of looking forward to a new day instead of despising it. This is all so foreign to me but it just keeps getting better."

Carlisle clapped my back and smiled at me reverently. "So you see that becoming a vampire doesn't have to be deemed as a curse or a sin? In truth, it can be one of the most consequential blessings of your existence, if you choose for it to be. Ever since Esme and the rest of you have come into my life, I've been incredibly joyful. But Edward, recognizing that same joy inside of _you_? I can honestly say that I now know what it means to be truly happy, for the very first time. My family is complete, blissful, and loved. I couldn't ask for anything more."

We were interrupted when Bella threw her arms around Carlisle. "Hey, I caught the last of that," she said, out of breath from running across the yard. "You're going to make me cry."

Carlisle chuckled and ran one hand up and down her back before they separated. "Don't cry, sweetheart. This is cause for celebration. And I see you've already begun," he smiled as his nose crinkled. "Is that Patron?"

Bella smiled sheepishly. "Am I busted, _Dad_?"

Carlisle rolled his eyes. "Come now, Bella. I've consented to ending your human life and sending you into a world that revolves around bloodlust. How can I possibly admonish you for partaking in a drink or two?"

Thoughts of guilt started clouding his mind, so I immediately spoke up, pulling Bella into my side. "Carlisle, you know there's no choice in the matter when it comes to her. She's a part of us…we're changing her because she's my mate and she's incredibly loved. You can't allow yourself to be overcome with the negative aspects of this."

"They should still be recognized, Edward."

We stared at each other for a long moment as he silently spoke to me. _You need to realize what we'll be putting her through._

"And I do, every day. But there's no need to discuss this now." I turned to Bella and smiled, who was looking between us with a concerned expression on her face.

"How many shots have they given you since we've gotten out here, love?" I asked her in an amused tone.

Carlisle chuckled and the mood immediately lightened amongst us. "I dunno," she slurred, gripping onto my shirt. "But I'm feeling pretty damn good. Where's Esme?"

I dipped my head and smiled to the ground below. "Uh, I believe she's tidying up the laundry room."

"Aw, fuck!" Bella groaned, slapping her forehead with her mitten-covered hand. Carlisle and I broke out into laughter because, like I said, she was absolutely adorable in her current state.

"Miss Isabella."

Esme came up behind us and Bella drunkenly threw her arms around her. "I'm so sorry, Esme. It's Edward's fault…" She leaned in to whisper very loudly into Esme's ear. "I'd tell you why but I really don't think you'd want to hear about it."

Esme laughed. "I suppose I'll let it go…just this once." My dead heart clenched at the pure love in her eyes as she gazed at my human girl.

My attention was pulled toward Jake as he lazily staggered over with a bottle in his hand. "B, your boy Emmett over there is trying to tell me that his vamp-ass is stronger than my ruggedly handsome, wolf self. Care to set him straight?"

Bella tapped her chin. "Hmm, I think I need a demonstration to determine who's stronger."

Jake threw his hands in the air. "Make up your mind, woman! One minute you want us all to get along, the next you want us to throw down? What the fuck?"

Bella chuckled and stole the bottle from his hand, taking a swig as she leaned back heavily against my chest. "Not real fighting, just pretend. You could give Edward a try. Maybe with some oil or Jell-O or some shit."

I cleared my throat and tickled her sides. "Excuse me?"

She laughed hysterically. "I'm kidding, baby. Settle down. I know a big old fur-ball like Jake couldn't take on my sexy vampire anyway." Her eyes became hooded as she stared at my lips and moved in to capture them with hers.

I pulled her tighter as her tongue slid along my bottom lip, alcohol heavy on her breath but it didn't stop me from devouring every inch of her. Until she was abruptly pulled from my arms.

"Fur-ball? That's it, B. I'm taking you town." Bella squealed and laughed as Jake threw her over his shoulder, swinging her around as if she were nothing more than a rag doll.

I smiled and looked on, the muscles in my face clearly not used to being used so often. Carlisle broke me from me reverie. "Is she prepared to let them go?"

I nodded, watching as she struggled against Jake. "Trust me, Carlisle. She's ready."

Jake slapped her ass and I tensed as the jealousy boiled up inside me. I somehow reminded myself that it meant nothing. I had no doubt in my mind that things were completely platonic between them.

"You talk so much shit, baby girl. Are you forgetting that you're just a feeble little human amongst a shitload of monsters? You should be shaking in your boots!"

Bella began punching Jake in the back as she tried to retaliate, but her laughter cut off her words. "Put me down!" she yelped, reaching for Quil to help her. He immediately jumped out of her way.

"You're on your own, Bella," he chuckled, shaking his head.

Alice came up beside me and linked her arm with mine. "Something's…off."

My usual panic set in. "What do you mean?"

"No idea," she sighed. "I get that they're Bella's friends, but I can't stand not being able to see what's coming our way. My stomach's twisting. I don't know…"

"Look at her, Alice. Isn't _that_ worth one night of clouded vision?"

Alice looked on fondly. "I suppose so. I still don't like it though."

I raised my eyebrows as Quil tried to feed her a drink of tequila while she was upside down, still heaved over Jake's shoulder. "I should cut her off," I chuckled.

"I'm sure she's fine, Edward," Alice reasoned.

"Still…all the blood's rushing to her head. I think I'll rescue her," I smirked, ignoring Alice's eye roll.

"God damnit, if you don't put me down I'm gonna kick you so hard in the balls they'll be coming out of your throat!" Bella growled.

"Ooh, scary," Jake laughed, adjusting his grip on her. "It's not my fault you're such a weak little girl!"

Bella was still laughing, but I could tell she was becoming tired of being upside down. "Just wait until I'm a vampire, Jakehole. I'm so gonna beat your ass!"

Silence.

Not a sound, not a word, not a thought infiltrated my mind as she spoke that fateful sentence. Panic crept up my spine as I observed Jacob's entire body freeze, with Quil gazing up at Bella in complete shock.

"Fuck!" I cursed beneath my breath. I didn't know what was going to happen. Anger, acceptance, or unadulterated rage. Either way, my human girl was still in his arms.

Suddenly the silence became abuzz with thoughts and words and trembling in the air. Carlisle was immediately by my side, a look of apprehension and shame covering his face.

"What the fuck did you say?" Jake growled in a menacing, trembling voice as he set her down. I took notice of the way his clenched fists were shaking, rage seeping through his pores.

Immediately I was behind Bella, moving her several steps backwards as I wrapped my arm around her waist. "Jacob, we can talk about this." I tried to be calm, tried to act as if this wasn't a big deal when in actuality, it very well could have been the trigger that catapulted us into the destruction of everything I held dear.

Jake had stopped shaking as Quil came to stand beside him. He was composed for the moment, but he wasn't attempting to conceal the look of disgust on his face.

I looked down to see Bella in a state of pure devastation. Her lip was quivering, but not from the cold, and the paleness of her skin rivaled my own. There was no doubt she had come out of her intoxicated state and realized the error she had made. I leaned down and kissed her ear. "It's okay, beloved. Just breathe."

Seconds went by as the shape-shifters stared at us in disbelief. Rage, betrayal, hurt and anger filling up the awkward silence between us. I couldn't blame either of them for feeling such a way. After everything they had done for us, I suddenly realized how despicable a thing it would be to break the treaty they had rewritten especially for us.

Bella pulled away from me slightly, heavy tears pouring down her face. "Jake," she whispered, reaching out her hand in a desperate attempt to fix something that very well could have been permanently broken.

He looked at her with pure disgust, and before I knew what was happening, he was tearing out of his human form into a raging beast.

I tried so fucking hard to move her in time.

Even with my vampire instinct and the ability to read minds, I still couldn't register the rapid movements of Jacob phasing until it was too late. And I was crippled with the loud, resounding crack of my beautiful girl's fragile body.

I cried her name loudly into the night, pulling her into my arms and frantically pushing her hair out of her face so I could properly take her in. In the distance I saw Jacob and Quil retreating in wolf form.

Her arm lay limp to the side, with the white of her bone peeking out beneath porcelain flesh that was tarnished in blood. "Bella, please," I whispered, begging for her to look at me.

But her head remained turned to the side, her eyes opening and closing slowly as the tears came rushing out. She was conscious and aware of her surroundings, but she wouldn't even look at me.

In my peripheral I saw Jasper clasping his chest.

_Shame_, he thought sadly. _The only thing she feels is shame_.

"This isn't her fucking fault!" I bellowed, turning my head in Jasper's direction and meeting his eyes. He immediately looked away, but it didn't matter to me. I drowned out all the frantic thoughts from my family members, because all that existed to me was her.

"Baby, you have to look at me," I murmured frantically, pushing my hand beneath her hair until I cradled her neck. "Are you okay? Where are you hurt? I'm so fucking sorry, Bella."

Nothing.

Not a word, not a look.

Just my love, drowning in her pain and regret as she lay despondent in my arms.

As the sun began to rise behind the heavy cloudbank, I held her tightly in my arms and sobbed dry tears as I rocked her. I begged her to respond to me and forgive me for not pulling her away in time.

And still, there was nothing. No movement, no sound coming from my human girl but the tears rolling down her cheeks and the pain in her eyes that spoke volumes.

Carlisle worked frantically to assess her wounds while the rest of my family huddled around us. We silently existed together, frozen to the spot outside our home and frantic with worry over Bella…and the repercussions of her words.

Nothing would ever be the same again.

**X**

**X**

**x**

**-x-x-**

**Oh, man. **

**Now, don't deny it. We've all been a little drawnk and spilled something we shouldn't have. Maybe not to _this_ magnitude but….yeah.**

**So how was the Jake-POV? Not too painful, I hope?**

**There's one way to let me know, and that's in the form of a review! :)  
**

**So where do we go from here, my lovelies? What's next for Bitey and his human girl? Cant wait to hear your theories.**

**Follow me on Twitter! Brits23**

**All right, ya'll, I'm going on vacay! Hold down the fort while I'm gone and send me yummy Robp0rn and PFach p0rn! :D**

**Oh yeah, and review, review, review!**


	21. Lucky

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**-x-x-x-x-**

*****EPOV*** **

Time passes in an ebb and flow of obscurity when you're faced with the unknown. Minutes and hours held no merit any longer. Just the shadows in her eyes as she gazed out my bedroom window, and the stillness of my family as they contemplated our next step from the lower level of the house. My eyes absolutely refused to tear away from my human girl.

I still had her warm, succulent taste in my mouth. It made me feel guilty, but more alive and alert than ever. She had begged for my teeth in her body, and who was I to deny her? Anything to calm her…anything to reiterate the fact that she belonged to me, and no matter what, we would make it through this situation unscathed.

I took a deep breath and ran my tongue along my bottom teeth, searching for more of her sweet crimson to sustain myself with. Drinking my human girl was like the perfect drug, but seeing the contentment in her eyes was far more addictive.

I would do anything to make her remember that her rightful place was beside me. And so I did whatever she asked of me. She shifted in my arms and I pressed my nose into her hair, inhaling her deeply as her breathing fluttered. She was fucking _everything _to me, and we had found ourselves in a very precarious situation. It didn't matter…she was still mine.

As she finally began drifting off to sleep, I let my mind wander over the past few hours of my life.

**-x-**

_I had never seen her so broken._

_It took her until we left the hospital for her to respond to me. She was in pain, groggy from lack of sleep and medication, immobilized by her cast and sling; with huge tears in her eyes, all she wanted was me. _

_I wrapped her in my arms and held her as she sobbed, careful not to jostle the arm that Jacob impaired. I was murderous that he had harmed one hair on my girl's head. His anger was understandable, but how dare he be so careless with his restraint? How could he be foolish enough to phase so close to Bella? Here I was, expected to be hopeful for peace when all I wanted to do was start my own war for the sake of Bella's well-being._

_But for now, it seemed as though everything was at a standstill._

_Carlisle, Bella and I had driven silently from the hospital back to our home, with Bella clinging to me desperately in my lap. Carlisle's thoughts were jumbled and unending in his mind. He struggled with himself to keep them guarded in order to give Bella and I some semblance of peace, but I knew he had so much he wanted to say. It could wait, because my human girl was falling apart in my arms, and that was all that mattered to me. Only one phrase seemed to calm her trembling body._

"_I love you."_

_I said it so many times that the words began to meld together and finally, she managed to calm down. "Take me home," she begged me._

_And I knew exactly where she wanted to go._

_I carried her from the car just as the late morning sun began peeking out between the filtered clouds. I saw nothing but her small fingers tracing the glistening facets of my skin until we were in the confinements of the house. I walked up the stairs and shut the bedroom door softly behind us, setting her on the edge of my bed. Trailing my hands up and down her thighs, I knelt in front of her. Her whole body exuded defeat. "Talk to me, Bella."_

_She shook her head from side to side as more liquid seeped from her swollen eyes. She grabbed my hand with her good one and linked our fingers. "Talking hurts. Everything hurts."_

_I delicately scooped her up and sat her in my lap, letting my body wrap around her entire frame. "Your arm or your heart, love?"_

"_Both."_

_I winced because her pain was palpable and it stung me like a fire. I remained silent because I knew she needed it. Before long, her quiet words were ghosting the air._

"_Look what I've done to you and your family."_

_I hummed in acknowledgment, attempting to bring a little levity to the moment. "Indeed, Bella. What an unspeakable act, showing me what it's like to be in love and completing a family that could never quite get their shit together until you came along."_

_I heard her chuckle shortly and I smiled as she tried to twist my nipple. "Sarcasm is very unbecoming," she murmured._

_I kissed her face until the fallen tears were gone, and gazed at her with only a fraction of the love I had for her. Raw emotion such as this couldn't be defined by a simple look. "Bella?"_

"_I have fucked everything up so royally," she whispered._

_I shook my head adamantly. "There's no point in beating yourself up over what happened last night, love. They would have found out eventually, it's really just a matter of bad timing. It won't change anything. We both knew that this was a sacrifice we would have to make in order to be together forever. You can't torture yourself over what's already in the past."_

_A sob built deep in her chest. "That's just it, Edward…I'm not."_

_I looked at her questioningly and she finally found her voice, her words pouring out of her faster than she could speak them. "I mean, I feel bad for betraying Jake after everything he's sacrificed for us, and I'm pissed off at myself for having no verbal filter while intoxicated. But being with you is a decision I will never regret, and therefore, besides the shitty timing, I don't really feel guilty about lying to the boys. It sucks that my big mouth has put us in this situation at the worst possible time, but I'm more concerned about what it means for _us _rather than how I've hurt Jake and the others. I can't be remorseful over the path we take to get to our forever Edward, no matter the destruction we may cause along the way. Nothing will keep me from being with you for eternity." _

_I watched my human girl for one long, studious moment, from the pain etched in her eyes to the feminine curve of her jaw to her soft pouty lips. And then I searched deeper. Months ago when she yearned for me in such a primal way that it seemed to go beyond human need, when she first showed me how she loved tasting her blood on my tongue, and the way she blended so naturally with my family. I'd known all along that she was meant for this. There was never any question. _

_I kissed her through my words because I couldn't suppress the need to feel her against my skin. Like every other moment in my very long existence, my need for her consumed me entirely. "Bella, don't you realize that you are so far beyond capable of merely looking at this situation from a human perspective? For months now you've shown me how similar you are to me, how ready you are to abandon your human life in order to enter the one you belong in. You shouldn't feel guilty about this. Even if you've made the innocent mistake of revealing our plans before we'd hoped to, it still isn't going to change our fate. You'll be mine forever and there won't be a damn thing anyone can do to prevent it. Jacob may feel betrayed now, but it would have only been a matter of time before he figured out our intentions. The timing has changed, beloved, but the end result will never be."_

_She reciprocated with her tongue sliding along my bottom lip before sweeping it along my own. It only reiterated the fact that nothing mattered but this. "I love you," she whispered, shifting in my lap until she was straddling me. Every movement she made was one that I calculated. I wouldn't let her arm become more damaged than it already had been._

_She parted from me with one chaste kiss, and I watched the pain in her eyes fighting to break through the calmness we felt when we were together. "Tell me, Bella."_

_She fumbled with the collar of my shirt as she spoke. "It's going to take me a little while to come to terms with what I've done to the boys. But putting the whole "wolf" thing aside, the truth is that I can barely stand myself because of the situation I've put us in. Rosalie was right, I've only ever caused problems for your family since I've been here."_

"_Honestly Bella…do you really believe that?" I heard the iciness in my tone and it was enough to startle her. No matter if we were in a heated debate or I was demanding that she ride my cock, I'd never used such a heartless tone with her. But how could she say something like that to me?_

_She looked up at me with wide eyes and they immediately filled with tears. I cursed beneath my breath and kissed her forehead, feeling like the scum of the earth for being the cause of them. I wasn't used to her being so emotionally delicate._

"_After last night, I do feel that way. And I know the source of every piece of drama I've brought into this family. The wolves. I have no one but myself to blame for that."_

_My voice lowered as my lips brushed against her temple. "Your intentions have only ever been noble, beloved. No one can fault you for that. We all understood what you were trying to do. It's the same thing that Carlisle has been fighting for throughout his many years on this earth. To bring peace, to go above the stereotype and prove that we can be something other than bloodthirsty killers. So we've had some trouble along the way…all that's waiting for us is an infinite amount of years to forget it. It's so minimal in the grand scheme of things."_

"_Yeah?" she whispered timidly._

_I smiled and kissed her lips tenderly, running my fingers along her bite mark. "I wouldn't lie to you, beautiful girl."_

_She shook her head, seeming to try and work through her frustrations. "Everything is so clear now, Edward. It was a nice idea to attempt to make vampires and werewolves be civil, even social with one another. And last night, it was working for a while. But when it comes down to it, it's just too unnatural for either one of you to exist together. You don't necessarily need to rip each other's throats out or anything, but trying to merge our two families into one was inevitably impossible and a childish notion on my part. I'm sorry I tried to push them onto you and your family. Permanently separating myself from the boys is just like every other thing I'm leaving behind. They are just another chapter to be closed, and I'm ready to do it. I'm ready to let them go."_

_I smiled at my sweet girl and pressed my lips to her forehead, letting them rest there as I stroked the skin around her offending cast. "It _was_ a nice idea, Bella. And everyone made the effort to get to know the Quileutes because they were once a big part of your life. No one could possibly look down on you for trying. And Rosalie is nothing more than a jealous shrew who doesn't know what the hell she's talking about."_

_I bit back my smirk as I heard a distant growl from the level below us. This caused Bella's lips to turn into a smile, a flood of warmth washing over my body in the process. We were going to be all right._

_She shifted in my arms, pressing her forehead into my neck as she sighed deeply. "The last twenty-four hours have been such a wake-up call for me, Edward. One that I think I needed. I've always known what I'll be leaving behind, and essentially what lays waiting for me in the future. But I'm always so far lost in you, baby, and this is the determining factor of my life. I need to try and find a way to balance my need for you with all the aspects of my change."_

_My arms tightened around her. "This is a monumental thing to come to terms with. Of course you're going to need time to think about the life you're leaving behind, and especially the one you're entering into. All this time I should have been preparing you, but I can never quite seem to focus on anything other than the need I feel for you, beloved. It's difficult when we love each other like this. It's nearly impossible to let anything else in."_

_She nodded solemnly. "I know…you're right. We've both been too distracted with one another to focus on the big picture." My eyes fluttered closed as she stroked my cheek lovingly. "I still plan on being distracted by you thoroughly and often, but maybe we can spend a little more time talking about what we'll be heading into. I want everything about my change to be something we experience together, even the elements I'm leaving behind."_

_My fingertips trailed down her body, sliding beneath her shirt until I was rubbing her back languidly. "We just need to slow it down, sweet girl. Take it one step at a time and just breathe. We'll get through this, and in the end, every bit of heartache caused by us will have been worth it."_

"_Yeah…but apart from all that, I've still put each one of us in danger. We can't pretend that things are going to be sunshine and fucking daisies from here on out, Edward. We have no idea what the wolves are going to do with this information. We haven't broken the treaty yet, but maybe that won't matter anymore. We may have to leave tomorrow."_

"_How do you feel about that?" I questioned hesitantly._

_Her deep eyes met mine and I saw nothing but honesty in them. "Just let me grab my favorite pajamas and a picture of my parents and we're gone, baby. The only thing I'll ever need is in this room with me. Everything else just falls into the background."_

_I trailed my fingers slowly across her throat. "We may have to take drastic measures in order to protect our family, Bella. Do you understand that?"_

_There was fire in her eyes as she gazed up at me, her fingers sliding through my hair before they wrapped around the back of my neck, holding me firmly. "Edward, if they even attempt to cause anyone in this family harm, I'll kill them myself. No matter how hurt Jacob is over this entire situation, it's really none of his business. He needs to realize that."_

"_I don't want you to worry about that right now, beloved. You need rest." I ran my hand across the plaster that covered her mangled arm, a strong wave of guilt washing over me as I did so. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm furious with myself for not moving you out of the way in time. My job is to protect you, and I've failed again."_

"_Please don't," she begged me. "Seeing all that pain in your eyes hurts so much more than any broken bone, Edward. Please…"_

_I cradled her carefully and settled us in the center of my bed, our bodies pressed chest to chest. "Try not to think about the Quileutes, Bella. We'll figure it out in due time. Get some sleep, I won't leave you."_

_I felt her body begin to tremble as she tightened her hold on me. "I think I'm going to be somewhat of a basket case for awhile, Edward."_

"_You mean you haven't been this entire time?"_

_She glared and smirked at me simultaneously; it sent me soaring. Every moment I could replace the unease in her eyes with happiness was a moment I cherished. "No, jackass," she smiled softly. "I'm just saying that I'm going to be in my head a lot. I have to figure out a way to compartmentalize all this."_

"_Will you talk to me about it?"_

_She nodded. "I promise I will. But my guilt over what I've done isn't going to just disappear. I still feel like shit. I still feel remorse over betraying Jake and I still feel like I'm ruining everything for our family. I know you don't want me to feel like that, but for now I need it. I need to feel like I've done something wrong, because I have. I can't pretend that I haven't."_

_I felt a growl start to rumble in my chest. Immediately her hand slid beneath my shirt and rubbed my skin where it was forming. "Just let me feel it for awhile."_

_I looked at her for a long moment, disparagement etching every one of my features as she spoke again. "I know it's got to hurt, to know that I'm letting myself feel this way. If the tables were turned, it would drive me crazy. But I need it now. I just need a little time to spend with the pain I've caused before I can let it all go. Can't you understand that?"_

_I rolled my eyes. Of course I could. No one could brood in their own self-pity like I could. It didn't mean that I wanted her doing it. _

_My thumb trailed slowly along her bottom lip as my expression softened. "Don't let it take you under."_

"_I won't, I've got you to pull me back," she whispered, smiling softly. It fell just as quickly, replaced with the furrow of her brow as she pushed herself closer to me. "Can you do something for me?"_

"_I'll do anything for you, Bella."_

_She shifted until we were face to face, our lips nothing more than a whisper apart._

"_Make me feel like I belong to you, Edward. I need to feel connected because right now I feel like I'm falling apart." Her words trailed off into a sob and my face contorted. Her emotions were so up and down and I begrudgingly understood her need to stew in the mistakes she had made. I would have handled it in the same exact fashion. But I'd be here to save her from her own misery, and I'd do everything in my power to make her realize that she would never, ever be alone._

_The atmosphere around us suddenly became stifling, her eyes were lidded and my fingers were trembling against her skin. Her body told me what she had in mind before her lips had the chance._

_I sat up the moment she shifted in my arms and crawled into my lap. She pulled me by the back of my neck until my mouth was at her pulse point. "Tether me to your world, baby. Bring me home. Show me where I belong…please, I need to feel you." Her tears burned me like drops of lava as they fell onto my skin, and I knew there was no way I could ever fathom denying her this._

_I took one slow, thick pass along her bite mark with my tongue, closing my eyes as her sweet flavor assaulted my taste buds. She moaned in approval, her hands fisting in my shirt as she attempted to pull me closer. Even in the face of the unknown, it took literally nothing for me to become consumed in the anticipation of her blood in my body, and desperate for that first immaculate taste. Drinking from her was the closest I'd ever come to a purely spiritual experience, and somehow she craved it as much as I did. My mouth was watering and my eyes were dark as night as I prepared to satiate our need to be connected. All she wanted was to feel like she belonged._

_And she would always belong to me._

_Bella shifted until she was seated farther up in my lap, bringing her hot center into contact with my throbbing cock. I froze as she winced as a result of her sudden move, her eyes closing tightly as she rested her injured arm heavier against me. With slow, calculated movements, I lifted her until she was lying flat on her back, a pillow nestled beneath her broken limb. I knelt on either side of her legs, staring down at her in concern as I rubbed her sides slowly. "I feel your pain more intensely than I've ever felt my own," I whispered sadly._

_She shook her head and motioned for me to come closer. I hovered over her body, letting our eyes connect as she ran her palm up and down my cheek. "You take it all away, baby," she breathed._

_I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead against hers, letting out a shaky breath as our noses slid together. "God, I love you, Bella…"_

_I barely finished speaking the words before her lips were moving rapidly with mine, one hand sneaking beneath my shirt as I gently pinned her down. "Don't move," I demanded gently. "We can't do this if it causes you pain…I won't be able to stand it."_

"_I won't," she nodded dutifully, licking her parted lips as she gazed up at me in anticipation._

_I was about to lean down and taste my human girl, but a precipitous change in her deep eyes stopped me. Suddenly I was desperate to know. "What are you thinking about, beloved?"_

_She chuckled breathlessly and looked away for a moment before meeting my eyes once more. "I'm thinking that I crave this so badly it scares me sometimes. That I fucked up beyond the point of return last night but all I can think about is your teeth in my body. That I love you and I don't want to be in this life anymore. I want my skin to feel like yours and I want you to let go of your restraint when your hands are on me and I want…I just want this to be over with. My change won't fix the majority of our problems…but being a vampire with you will make us _whole._"_

"_One step at a time, my beautiful girl. We'll get there. And everything you want…I want just as badly." My lips ghosted back and forth over hers before sliding down her chin and across her jaw until they were pushing against her bite mark. I felt her blood vibrating against my tongue as it slipped out, and with one final reminder that this girl was my purpose and my light, I sunk my teeth effortlessly into her silken flesh._

"_I love you, Bella," I moaned against the flowing crimson, kissing her skin through the laps I took of her blood. "I love you…"_

_And I was home._

_**-x-**_

She mumbled softly, breaking me from the rampant thoughts in my mind. I probably should have been contemplating our next step, but all I could think about was her blood on my tongue.

"I need to call Charlie," she muttered.

I kissed the back of her neck, letting my lips move against her skin as I spoke. "You wanted to wait, love. In the car you said you weren't ready."

She turned in my arms and nestled her forehead against my neck. "I know, but I can't keep putting it off. Besides, I have to go home tonight."

My stomach clenched uncomfortably. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy being in her small room, engulfed in her scent. But my bedroom had become our safe haven. I was becoming accustomed to having her in my bed with me. But as always, I would take her anywhere I could have her. "I know, Bella. Just tell me when you'd like to call him."

"I need to call Jake, too."

I tensed up as soon as his name left her lips. "So now you feel as if it's your responsibility to mend what's been broken?"

She looked up at me with a furrowed brow; even I could hear the bite in my tone. "Edward, we need to figure out what the hell they've got planned. I doubt he'll even talk to me, but I've got to try to smooth things over before they come over here and attack us."

"We've done nothing wrong."

"That might not matter anymore," she whispered quietly. "Why are you all snippy about me calling Jake?"

I studied our linked fingers as I shook my head. "He hurt you, Bella. I don't care if it was an accident, or how angry he was. He broke you. You shouldn't be expected to go crawling back to him, groveling for forgiveness."

"Hey," she murmured, squeezing my hand harder until I met her gaze. "It's not going to be as much about me making amends with Jake as it will be covering our asses. We need to find out where we stand, and I'm the best way to do that at this point. It's just a phone call, baby. He can't crawl through the connection and go angry-wolf on me."

My lips twitched in an attempt at a smile, but I wouldn't allow it. "Let's go downstairs, Bella. We need to talk to the others before you decide to contact anyone."

Her eyes widened before she shook her head. "What…right now?"

I narrowed my eyes in confusion, helping her sit up from the bed. "Yes, I suppose so?"

Her body noticeably began shaking as she turned her head, looking out the window as tears welled in her eyes. I was at her side immediately. "What is it, love?"

"They must be furious over the danger I've put them in."

I knew there was no point in arguing with her, given the self-deprecating state she was in. Instead, I kissed her forehead and took her hand. "I think that's ridiculous….and there's only one way to find out. Come on."

**-x-**

*****BPOV*****

**-x-  
**

Edward gazed at me with such confidence, as if there were never any doubt that his family would welcome me with open arms after I had destroyed everything around them.

I wasn't so sure.

That morning at the hospital Carlisle had told me that I was lucky. That with my type of fracture, there was a high risk of infection that typically led to surgery. I was in pain, but I was lucky.

He kept saying it and smiling at me. I saw the concern in his eyes and I watched him as he forced himself to be cheerful in a highly stressful situation. But there was something else buried within Carlisle's caring eyes, and I was terrified to know what that something was. Because if the most compassionate man in the family was pissed at me, I never stood a chance with the rest.

I was lucky…

But all I felt was remorse and embarrassment, because what I had done that night was out of pure stupidity. Watching Jake as he processed my words, as he let the betrayal sink into his mind was something I'd never forget. His pain was caused by me and _my_ lies, _my_ deception.

_Jake, support my decision to love your immortal enemy. Like him and his family. Become their friend. Go against your band of brothers for me and the sake of what I want, just so I can fuck you over in the end._

That's what I should have said. I owed it to him to be upfront this entire time, and instead I was full of deceit. And still, I felt bad for causing him grief. But it was the same kind of sorrow I felt for leaving my father behind, or ditching my friends. It was just another necessary step in order to become what I was destined to be.

His.

But putting Edward's family in this predicament was something that plagued me more severely than all else. Esme had always told me that I was the missing piece. That I completed her children and their lives. Edward and Carlisle spoke like that as well. But how could someone like _me_ bring them completion? Since day one I'd ruffled Rosalie's feathers and as a result, drove a wedge into the family. I'd attracted negative attention from the ghosts of Edward's past, forced their immortal enemies on them so we could play "party time with the shape-shifters and vampires" and opened my big fucking mouth to the wolves I encouraged them to accept. It had been nothing but fucking drama since the moment I walked through their front door.

And they still wanted me?

I couldn't understand why.

"They must be furious over the danger I've put them in," I whispered to the one constant in my life. My veins still burned like a soothing, rich inferno from when he drank me slowly, his love for me seeping into my skin as his hands ran over my entire body. I felt a constant sharp, tingling feeling now, for hours after his teeth had been inside me. Each time it was stronger. Each time I needed more. I never wanted these new sensations to end.

I wanted him to drink me and love me in order to ignore the realities of life that I so ardently wanted to hide from. Even though Edward had the power to take away the pain, I knew I had to face my fate sooner or later.

He smiled at me calmly and took my hand, staring at me with the utmost confidence. "Well I think that's ridiculous…and there's only one way to find out. Come on."

And I followed my vamp boy, because God help me, I would follow him anywhere.

We took the stairs at a sluggish pace. He was so attuned to my every movement, waiting for the pain to show, and conscious of every sound of discomfort I made.

There weren't words to describe what it felt like to have your bone bust through your skin. Nor were there words to describe the realization that you'd single-handedly destroyed nearly all the people you cared about. Two different pains that were both wreaking havoc on my body. I learned quickly that if you succumb to the constant ache instead of fight it, it slowly becomes a part of you. I wore it as a heavy weight on my shoulders now, reminding me that I'm not invincible, and that for every action, there is a consequence.

I was just so terrified of being rejected by the family that I had come to love as my own.

Edward held my hand tightly and kissed my temple as we rounded the last set of stairs, whispering words of encouragement. "Nothing in this world would turn them against you, beloved."

I prayed that he was right.

We walked into the kitchen where each one of them was seated around the table and the center island. None of them moved as we approached, just studied me with an array of expressions on their faces. The silence was deafening.

Before I knew what was happening, I burst into tears. I hated feeling so vulnerable. I hated feeling like the meek little girl that needed to be reassured and comforted and dependent on others. I was supposed to exude confidence and have an overzealous attitude. When the bad shit arose, I prided myself on keeping a level head and handling it the best I knew how. But now, when it felt like the whole world was crumbling around me, I needed to be that weak person. I needed to know that I still had a place in this family, or if I would succeed in tearing them apart even further. Because Edward would never leave me, and I knew that. If his family abandoned me, they'd abandon him as well. I didn't know if I was capable of shouldering that kind of guilt.

My waterlogged eyes barely made out Esme's blurred figure as she rushed to my side, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and holding onto me as if I were made of nothing but eggshells. Edward's fingers disentangled with mine and I felt his absence immediately; I turned to search for him almost frantically, needing his strength in that moment.

He nodded in encouragement and gazed at me with an expression so full of love that it nearly made me fall to my knees. I would never get used to the power we had over one another. _Never. _

I turned away from my vampire and let the overwhelming emotions take me under, sobbing as I pleaded with Esme. I hugged her as tightly as I could with my good arm, and begged for forgiveness. "I'm sorry, please…I'm so sorry I did this to you..."

She was crying too. No tears fell from her eyes, but my mother - _my mother _- was sobbing along with me. After everything she saw me through, the dark abyss she pulled me out of when Edward had left me to save Victoria, no one could tell me she wasn't _mine_. "Stop, Bella. Stop begging me like this when you have nothing to apologize for. _Nothing_. You're ours now, and we'll get through this just like we've gotten through everything else. Just calm down, sweetheart."

I felt the presence of the remaining family members as they gathered around us, and I began mumbling to them into Esme's shoulder. "I didn't mean to tell the guys. I was just having fun and I wanted him to put me down and…and I just said it. I didn't even realize it until it was too late. Please know I'd never do anything intentionally to hurt any of you. You're all my family and I love you. I didn't mean for this to happen."

Esme began rocking me from side to side and, before long, I felt a cold pair of lips press against the top of my head. "Enough, Bella," Carlisle spoke softly, wrapping his arm around his wife and smoothing my hair in a comforting gesture. "Just because you've made a mistake doesn't mean that we love you any less. I want you to try to calm down so we can talk about this, all right? Can you take a few deep breaths for me?"

I did as I was instructed, recognizing the doctor as well as the caretaker of this family shining through. Once I settled down and my tears stopped falling, I slowly pulled away from Esme and Carlisle. Edward was immediately behind me, pressing my back against his chest as he kissed my ear. "I love you, sweet girl," he whispered.

Esme never let go of my hand, and I still couldn't figure out how I could feel so fucking warm with all these cold bodies surrounding me. And then I realized that the love inside of them was far stronger than any impermeable, frigid skin.

I looked over at Alice, who walked over swiftly and kissed me directly on the lips. "If I hug you right now, I'll squeeze you too hard. Just know I love you, and that I'll always have your back, because that's what sisters do."

I smiled and nodded, fighting off the tears as they threatened to fall once more. Emmett walked towards me with nothing but concern on his face, before taking my chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Hey…remember last night how I said I liked you better intoxicated? Maybe we'll just have you lay off the liquor for awhile, Miss Swan."

He smiled brightly, his dimples indenting his cheeks. I recognized his attempt to make me laugh and was thankful for it; no one could lighten the mood like Emmett could. I chuckled softly and rolled my eyes, agreeing that it was probably a good idea.

Jasper remained some distance away, but his deep eyes connected with mine for several moments. "Have you ever heard the phrase 'This Too Shall Pass,' Bella?"

"Yeah," I sniffed.

His lips twisted into a crooked grin and he winked at me. "Well then, you best embrace it. We're not letting you go now that you've come all this way."

"Thanks, Jazz," I whispered, leaning farther back into Edward.

"Why don't we go into the living room and talk?" Carlisle suggested.

We began walking into the other room when I noticed Rosalie standing in the archway with her arms folded over her chest. Her expression was neutral, as it usually was.

I watched her for a moment, wondering what she would say and knowing it couldn't be good.

Finally she rolled her eyes and huffed. "Well it's not like you take a dog out back and shoot it when it shits on the floor."

I couldn't help it…I laughed. "Um, is that some sort of messed up way of telling me that you aren't entirely pissed at me?"

"Well yeah I'm pissed at you…I'm always pissed at you. But it's not like you're going anywhere. If you don't like my metaphor, then stop begging for my approval with your sad little puppy eyes." Her words were harsh but she was smirking, and I knew this would be the best I would get from Rosalie.

I'd certainly take it, regardless.

Now that I knew I had the support of Edward's family, I was ready to dive into the discussion ahead, and figure out what our next step would be.

**-x-x-**

Three days had passed.

Jake never answered his phone.

Charlie seldom left my sight, convinced that my lack of coordination now had the potential to kill me, considering it was "responsible" for maiming my arm. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

I had never felt more connected to the Cullens after what took place on Sunday. It started out with a remorseful trip to the hospital and ended with the promise that regardless of the situation, the eight of us were unwaveringly united.

I still wasn't back to normal. I'd cry at night, I was quiet and soft spoken, and I wore sweat pants and hoodies to school. All I wanted was comfort…and Edward. I stopped taking pain meds for my arm because I liked the burn. I liked how it reminded me of my mistakes, and pushed me to be more conscious and aware of my actions.

On Sunday night when we discussed what our next step would be after the unfortunate events of Saturday night, it was decided that for now, all we could do was wait. The last thing Carlisle wanted was a confrontation. Everyone agreed, even though the boys were reluctant. Edward wanted revenge on Jacob for injuring me, and Emmett and Jasper were always ready for a fight. But we agreed that it wouldn't be worth it, especially with the wolves' numbers on the rise.

We would be ready to depart at a moment's notice, and none of the Cullens would stray too far from the others. Their best bet was to remain together in the event of a confrontation with the wolf pack, so it was vital that they stuck close by. Carlisle would be at the hospital as usual during the day, while Esme would remain at the museum she occasionally volunteered at. The rest would attend school because it was highly doubtful that the Quileutes would try anything in public. At night they'd come home and stay together…apart from Edward, of course.

He refused to leave my side. But as long as he was in my house, I knew he would be safe. And if for some reason the wolves attacked his family when he wasn't with them, he was confident that Alice would lose her visions and contact him in enough time for him to be there for the confrontation.

The family agreed that I should attempt to get ahold of Jacob, but to not go any further than that. Edward still wasn't thrilled about the idea, but he reluctantly concluded that he could see where we were coming from. Carlisle said that there would be no point in putting myself in additional danger for the sake of this situation. Nothing would change the fact that we betrayed the wolf pack, and nothing would stop me from becoming a vampire.

So we would wait. Alice would watch diligently, waiting for the first sign of dark clouds to erase her visions. And then we would do what we had to in order to stay together.

We would go immediately, and worry about the repercussions later.

I tried not to think about what would happen if we had to leave suddenly. There would be no doubt that I would go with them. Edward and I had attempted to distance ourselves in the past, and it wasn't something that either one of us could bear.

Leaving with them suddenly meant I'd have to cook up a story for my father, and from there we'd have to fake our deaths. All of us, some of us, just me...nothing had been worked out yet. But if something happened this week, we had the Alaska trip for our cover.

If no trouble arose and we were able to find out where the wolves stood, the Cullens still wouldn't be traveling to Alaska. Leaving Edward and I behind while the rest of them went to Victoria's party was out of the question at this point.

Needless to say, the tension was high for every one of us. Not knowing what tomorrow would bring was incredibly stressful. I just wanted to know what would happen and when.

Wednesday found us at our lunch table, quieter than normal as the rest of the kids rambled on around us. The occupants of my old table had decided that we should start sitting together after they were invited to my birthday party. It was nice to have them there to distract us from the situation I had put us in, even if the majority of them were douche bags.

I rested my head on Edward's shoulder and linked my good arm with his, not saying a word. Angela kept flashing me worried looks, but Ben took up most of her time these days. Not that I minded. She was really happy with him once she took that first step, and there was no point in getting attached to her when I more than likely wouldn't be around for much longer.

Edward wordlessly picked up the fork from my tray, urging me to take it and eat the slop that this school called food. I just wasn't hungry. All I could do was think.

Edward sighed and wrapped his arm around my waist, bringing our bodies closer together. I snuggled further into him when he laid his cheek on top of my head. "I wish you'd come back to me, beloved."

I lifted my head and we looked at each other for a moment before I pressed my lips to his. "I'm here, baby. I'm only ever with you."

I knew that wasn't what he meant, but I didn't feel like dealing with it at that moment.

"Second thoughts?" he murmured so quietly I barely heard him. He was looking down at the table top, his brow furrowed.

I yanked on his hand until he looked at me. "Never, Edward. I know what I want. You have to trust me."

"I do, Bella. I just need you to be sure, especially now."

I ran my fingers through his hair, grabbing a handful until our foreheads were pressed together. "No matter what, okay? No matter what…"

He sighed and took my top lip between his, kissing me delicately. But there was something so erotic about it that I had to suppress my moan. Edward and I hadn't been together since the night of my party. We'd both wanted to, but any sudden movements with my arm caused me a lot more pain than I cared to admit. There really wasn't a way for me to remain stationary when we were connected like that, so for now, we'd love each other with sweet words and gentle touches.

But I still felt empty without him inside me.

I made up for that emptiness with his teeth in my body. Ever since the first night we had spoken in the woods and we had given into our need for one another for the first time, I'd been addicted to the feel of him drinking me. I knew that with giving up my humanity meant I'd be giving up that aspect of our connection, which was obviously worth it to me. I'd miss it, but it didn't define who we were as a couple. But now, with the guilt weighing down on me and not knowing how much longer I would be human, I needed it even more.

He'd tasted me every night since I'd broken my arm. I knew he was worried about taking too much, but I also knew that he was so attuned to my body. We both recognized at what point he needed to stop, so it wasn't even an issue for us.

The way he looked at me when I asked him to drink me…there were no words. He just loved me so fucking much that it was difficult for me to breathe. This beautiful, desolate vampire had once upon a time told me that he didn't know how to feel, or how much of himself he could give me. And here he was, giving me _everything. _

When he drank from me, it was just as intimate as sex, if not more so. It was the ultimate connection for us. I trusted him, he worshipped me, and with heavy breaths and sweet touches, we merged together just as meaningfully as if we were making love.

I had always hated that phrase. It was sappy and whimsical and just not my style. But there was no other way to describe it, because that was just what my vamp boy and I did.

We were love.

I lived for the moments after he had taken as much blood as he could and we found ourselves curled up together in the darkened room. It was like having the very essence of Edward whirling through my veins, and mine in his. His venom made my skin tingle, but the effect it had as it infiltrated my body was unlike any other. Oftentimes I cursed the fact that his venom was sterile and that he couldn't be the one to change me. But look how much we had gained from his one flaw. It was beautiful, and I wouldn't have changed it for anything in the world.

Especially when it made me feel like this. I couldn't deny the way his venom left his mark on my body in every area, as if millions of tiny pieces of glass had been pushed into my skin at all at once. But underneath the sharp sting of pain was this miraculous, numbing smoothness that made me feel like I was so much more than this feeble human being. I was his…and eventually, it would be forever.

I broke away from my thoughts and gave him one last chaste kiss before smiling brightly. "That was hot."

He chuckled, leaning down to whisper in my ear. "You're just hard up. Now will you eat something, Bella?"

I looked up at him from beneath my lashes. "You could feed me, and I might consider it."

He looked at me exasperatedly.

"With your teeth," I added, bumping his shoulder playfully.

"I think we would make a spectacle of ourselves, love," he murmured, kissing the top of my head.

"Yeah, you guys are already all over each other enough as it is," Jessica grumbled from across the table.

"Jealous?" I questioned, smiling arrogantly.

She rolled her eyes and smirked. Jessica was a bitch but she wouldn't mess with me. Ever since she was invited to the Cullens house via my birthday invitation, she considered me one of the 'cool kids.'

It was too bad, because I sort of enjoyed starting shit with her.

I began picking at my food, earning me a crooked, smoldering smile from my vampire, which did nothing for the ache between my legs. I wanted him, but the pain was too much to bear, even for me.

I just looked up to ask Alice a question when two things happened simultaneously. Alice's eyes glossed over and she gasped, immediately meeting my gaze. Secondly, my phone beeped, indicating that I had a text.

I slowly looked down at my phone and read the incoming message.

_Billt and Jaake r comn 4 diner 2nighte. Ill by pizza u donot hafta do anythinh._

My heart stopped, but I still couldn't help but smile at Charlie's texting skills. It took me three hours just to get him _that _far.

I looked up at my family surrounding the table, remembering that we had an audience. "I just got a text from my dad saying that Billy and Jake are coming over for dinner tonight. That should be interesting. And my dad totally blows at texting. Look at this, baby," I smiled, handing my phone to Edward.

He hummed and nodded, meeting my eyes instantly. His entire body tensed against me and I instantly took his hand in mind, attempting to calm him down. "Easy," I murmured quietly.

His growl was soft but menacing. "I won't be far."

"Jake will smell you."

"I don't fucking care," he whispered frantically.

I wrapped my arm around his neck, hugging him so I could whisper directly into his ear. I knew the vampires at the table were more than capable of hearing me. "What if this is a trick? What if he sends the rest of the wolves to your house? He'll know that you'll be with me."

Just then the bell rang and we reluctantly broke our embrace. "We'll talk about this later, love," he smiled, kissing me as he stood from the table.

I gave Alice a one armed hug and she kissed my cheek. "After school, parking lot. We'll figure it out."

I nodded, taking Edward's hand as he dumped our trays and we began walking to Biology. My blood was pumping quickly through my veins, and as worried as I was about tonight, I was happy that there was _something _happening. "Is it wrong that I'm kind of excited about this? That makes me a horrible person, right?"

Edward smiled warmly and leaned down to kiss my forehead. "No, beloved. That makes you a vampire."

**-x-x-**

My palms were sweating as I sat in the living room with my father, staring at the clock on the wall. He had just returned with the take-out pizza, which meant that the arrival of the Blacks was mere minutes away.

I wondered what was going on in Jake's mind at that moment. Did he stage this whole thing so the rest of the wolves could destroy my family? Did Charlie convince them to come here and hang out, not giving them a choice in the matter? Was it another reason entirely? Apparently it didn't matter, but I had a feeling I'd find out soon enough.

My phone rang, indicating a text message and I jumped a foot in the air, wincing as a sharp pain shot up my arm. "Damnit," I muttered, reaching for the phone that had fallen to the floor.

"You all right, Bells?" Charlie questioned, muting the TV to assess my pain. He had been so goddamn accommodating ever since I had broken my arm. It scared him and I knew it, which made me hug him even longer every second I got the chance. I was ready to leave him, but it didn't make me love him any less.

_I hate being away from you right now, Bella. I'm losing my mind. Call me if you need anything, do you understand me? I never should have left your fucking side. I love you._

Edward was freaking the fuck out.

After school we had assembled in the parking lot, Esme and Carlisle on speaker phone as we recounted what had happened at lunch. I stressed the fact that Edward needed to be home with them in case Jake was setting us up. There was no way Jacob would do anything to me with both of our fathers sitting right there. Everyone readily agreed, apart from Edward.

I understood where he was coming from. His place was beside me and I knew that, but at that moment, he needed to be there to protect his family. I wasn't in any immediate danger, but the rest of them possibly were. He finally conceded, but didn't like it one bit. So much so that his precious Volvo no longer had a rear-view mirror.

If I didn't feel so badly about Edward's frustration, I would have laughed.

I quickly typed out a reply.

_I'll be fine, vamp boy. Just keep everyone safe for me. I'll keep you posted, and stop worrying! I love you too. So much…_

As I hit the send button, the unmistakable rumble of Billy's old truck began barreling down our driveway, and I knew that it was time.

"There they are," Charlie sighed, finishing off his beer and standing from the couch with a grunt. "Good thing, the pizza's probably gonna get cold here pretty quick."

I nodded distantly and walked out behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder. He turned around. "You okay, kid?"

"Yeah, Daddy," I nodded, smiling. "I'm just…happy to be spending time with you."

His cheeks turned rosy red and he smiled, throwing an arm around my shoulder. "Come on, Nemo."

I chuckled at the recent nickname he'd given me, considering I had a gimpy fin and all. Who even knew my dad watched Disney movies? When I had asked him about it, he just grumbled something about catching it on ABC Family when there wasn't anything else on.

Imagining my father jamming out to Dory singing _Just Keep Swimming _was enough to have me in hysterics. My dad was pretty cute for a gruff, middle-aged fisherman. I prayed he'd find a good woman so he didn't have to spend the rest of his years by himself. But even if he didn't, my dad was just the kind of guy who was content in being alone. I envied that about him.

I watched through the parted doorway as Jake pulled Billy's chair out of the back of the truck and helped him in it. He looked pretty pissed off to be here, so I was hoping he was just dragged here by his dad and that he wasn't plotting against us.

They reached the door and Billy and Charlie bumped knuckles. "Hey Bella girl. Your old man told me that you broke your arm. I told him it reminded me of the time you fell out of the boat and hit your head on the side." His voice lacked enthusiasm, and the way his dark eyes watched me carefully told me that he knew exactly what was going on. Obviously he would.

I rolled my eyes at myself. "Yeah, I'm a klutz." I looked up at Jake who was staring at the ground like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. "Hey Jake."

"Bella," he said shortly.

"You two in a fight or something?" Charlie questioned. "It's just like you're twelve again. Watch out Jake, Bella's got a mean left hook."

"Yeah, that's _all_ I've got," I mumbled, gesturing towards my left arm that was immobilized by the cast.

Jake looked at my arm and I saw the remorse in his eyes, but it was immediately replaced with anger as he focused on the ground once more.

I wiped my sweaty palms on my yoga pants as Charlie and I stepped aside so they could enter. I felt like my entire future was riding on this night. With my phone firmly clenched in my hand, I prepared myself for dinner with the person who could potentially destroy everything - thanks to me.

It couldn't get any more complicated if I tried.

**-x-x-**

Nearly an hour had gone by and so far, nothing much had changed. I had no messages from Edward, indicating that all was well on his side of the fence. Jake wouldn't look at me let alone talk to me, so that wasn't going anywhere. All we could do was eat pizza and ignore each other as our dad's talked animatedly to one another.

"Yeah, Bella's going up to Alaska this weekend with her boyfriend's family for some birthday party. She's gotten pretty comfortable with this kid - she's lucky I like him." Charlie winked at me playfully as I felt the blood drain from my face.

Billy and Jacob looked absolutely horrified and outraged at this piece of information. I let myself cringe for a moment before sitting up a little straighter in my chair. "Yeah, Edward's great. There's no better proof of that than having my gun-carrying, over-protective father give his seal of approval."

I stared down both men sitting across from me, and I didn't back down for a fucking second. "Well hopefully the old man hasn't lost his touch," Billy concluded.

"He hasn't," I assured him.

Charlie sighed and rested his arm on the back of my chair. "Yeah, I hate to admit it, but they're downright smitten with each other and Edward's a great kid. No one's gonna be good enough for my daughter, but I can't ask for anyone better for her than the Cullen boy."

I silently cheered my father on.

Almost instantly after that, Billy stated that they ought to get going. We stood from the table and I felt a mixture of emotions. On one hand, I was glad they were leaving. On the other, I still needed to talk to Jake and see where the hell we stood. I decided that he wasn't leaving without hashing this shit out with me.

Luckily, Charlie was on the ball tonight. "Billy I'll get you set up in the truck. Why don't we let our kids kiss and make up. I hate seeing them all pissed off at each other."

Billy nodded, eyeing Jacob wearily. "Don't be too long, son."

Jake nodded and just like that, we were alone. I wasn't afraid. He was still my friend regardless of the recent events, and with our fathers outside, I knew he wouldn't do anything to me.

I started talking before I lost the opportunity. "Look Jake, I'm sorry about Saturday night. Actually I'm sorry about every single fucking thing leading up to Saturday. I never should have been hiding my intentions with Edward, especially after everything you've done for us. I just - "

My words were cut off when he stepped so close to me that I could feel the heat radiating off of his body. His heightened breathing sent my hair fluttering around my face, and the rage in his eyes was only overshadowed by his pain. His hand came down hard against the wall beside my head, causing me to shiver as I stared up at him.

"You listen to me right now. You fucked me over, and that was something I _never _thought you'd do. As far as I'm concerned, you're a selfish little bitch who thinks of no one but herself and her fucking _vampire_," he spat, his fists shaking in the exertion to stay calm. "I'll tell you one goddamn time, and don't you ever come near me again. You've made me the laughing stock of my tribe, and there's only one thing left for us to do about it. I won't be made a fool of again."

I immediately began to scramble for the right words to say. "Don't attack them, Jake. They haven't done anything wrong!"

"I don't give a shit what they have or haven't done, Bella." He leaned down closer until his scorching mouth was pressed against my ear. "Tell them to get the fuck out by this weekend. They can go to Alaska, and you can fucking disappear with them for all I care. Just get the fuck out of my town, my state, my _life. _Take the fucking bloodsuckers that you chose to betray your goddamn _family_ for and leave - _forever_. And realize just how much fucking better I am than you. I'm still looking out for your spoiled ass after you've beat me into the ground and never looked back. _Fuck you_, Bella…you make me sick."

His words stung so viciously that I fell to my knees, the tears streaming steadily down my cheeks as I struggled to catch my breath. "It's where I belong, Jake. I know it in my heart and you can't fault me for fighting to be with my soul mate. People tell you that you shouldn't be with Leah because you haven't imprinted with her, but you don't listen to them. Just like I can't listen to you when you declare that I shouldn't be the same as the love of my life!"

The anger in his eyes faltered for just a moment before it came back in full force. Only this time, it was joined with tears. "Whatever, Bella. It doesn't matter, I didn't even want to come over here to begin with. You didn't trust me enough to tell me the fucking truth. Maybe things could have been different if you hadn't been lying to me since day fucking one. But now there's no fixing the damage you've created. Just get the fuck out of town before it's too late, and say thank you for yet another fucking favor I'm doing you."

My sobs were louder and more hysterical as my body shook uncontrollably. "Thank you…and I'm sorry."

His tears were falling steadily down his face, his fist connecting with the wall hard enough to leave an indent before he fell to his knees in front of me. "God damnit, Bella!"

He scooped me up in his arms and hugged me tightly, sobbing into my hair as I cried into his shoulder. He was squeezing me too hard and it hurt like hell, but it didn't matter. I needed this.

We were two friends saying goodbye.

"You're my best friend, I never meant to screw you over."

"It doesn't matter, B. You fucking did it anyway."

"I'm sorry," I wailed once more, pulling myself against his overheated body and begging him for forgiveness. "We would have told you eventually. It just wasn't the right time."

"Yeah, well, it never fucking would have been." He sniffed once, then wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve before letting go of me and standing.

"Just tell them to leave, because if they don't..." he paused, his jaw clenching as his hands began to tremble. "…Just make sure they leave before the weekend. I'm sorry I hurt your arm, but you hurt me too, Bella. Far worse than any fucking flesh wound. I hope you don't regret this decision and I hope you don't kill people. We're done, B. If you value your precious vampires at all, then tell them to get. The fuck. Out."

The last thing I saw before closing my eyes was Jake's retreating form as he walked permanently out of my life.

I took a few deep breaths, trying to think rationally. I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but he had confirmed my biggest fear - they were going to attempt to kill my family. But Jacob had given me the heads up. I realized right then and there that Jacob Black was the most noble fucking person I had ever met in my life…and I would always love him as a friend and a brother.

It made me wish that I could be a better person than I was.

I heard Billy's truck fire up and I immediately stood from the ground, walking up the stairs as quickly as I could. I dialed Edward's number as soon as I had my bedroom door closed behind me, pacing frantically as I waited for the call to connect. He answered it after one ring, and I finally released all the panic I felt collecting deep inside of me since the moment I exposed our situation to the shape-shifters.

"Edward…"

"What's wrong, Bella?" My vampire hastily demanded.

I closed my eyes and held my phone tightly, speaking my words very slowly and clearly.

"We've got to leave before the weekend. We've got to go."

I barely had the words out before I was met with a disconnected call, and I was relieved to know that he was currently on his way towards me. I needed him so badly, and I knew that if I weren't careful I'd fall apart at the seams.

Because this was happening _now_. We were leaving…_I_ was leaving.

And there was no going back.

**-x-**

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**-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

**Changes are on the horizon, it should get interesting!**

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	22. A New Day

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**-x-x-x-x-**

**x**

**x**

*****BPOV*****

I didn't sleep the entire night. Instead I watched the clouds move over a large, rounded moon above the line of trees adjacent to my father's house. I rested my cheek against the window-sill as Edward wrapped himself around me, silently supporting my restless mind in the middle of the night. I had so much to work out inside myself, and just as the birds began welcoming the early morning, realization had hit me like a ton of bricks.

I was so completely and utterly over this shit.

Suddenly I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin on account of this depressing, morose situation I had found myself in. I didn't have an ounce of tolerance left for the insufferable amount of drama that had taken over my life. Lying to Jake had turned me into a crying, bumbling whine-ass who couldn't even get it on with her own vampire. I wasn't a crier, goddamnit, and I sure as hell never let anything keep me off of my boy. So where had I gone? And why did I let the emotional aspects of this situation pull me under?

It wasn't like I didn't have a heart. Crying and feeling remorseful toward Jake and the Cullens was totally necessary, but droning on about it for days? I just didn't do that shit…it wasn't _me. _

Letting my emotions overtake me when it came to Edward was something I yearned for, but it didn't mean I had to transfer that to other facets of my life. _He_ was the only thing I wanted to be desperate for.

I sat up quickly and turned to look into Edward's eyes. I was exasperated and he could tell, slowly sitting upward and reviving the fire in his own steady gaze. Maybe we'd both lost that spark amongst the sea of guilt and anger and bullshit emotion. I looked back on the last week and all it did was piss me off. I was angry that my arm was broken, that the drama had overshadowed the happiness I found with Edward, and that I had allowed the past few days to make me forget who I truly was.

He took one look in my eyes and knew. I watched his lips turn upward into a smirk as he leaned toward me. "You're back."

"I'm sick of this shit," I grumbled. "I feel like a fucking caged beast or something. I just want out, Edward. It's driving me crazy!"

"Out of what, exactly?"

I stood from the floor and paced the length of my room, attempting to control my breathing as the frustration began to pour out of me in waves. "Out of _this_! I don't belong here! I'm not close enough to the kids from Forks to give a shit about them. Last night sucked but Jake and I pretty much said our goodbyes. I know there's no point in even attempting to contact the rest of the boys, so that's over and done with. I don't care about this fucking drama anymore, Edward. Let's just go! I was ready for you to take me away months ago!"

"Hey, come here," he whispered, holding his hand out toward me as he stood from the floor and sat on the edge of my bed. I crawled into his lap and instantly felt calmer the moment we were touching, but not entirely at ease. "We're almost there, sweet girl. We're so close."

"Not close enough." I heaved a sigh and pushed my hand flat against his chest, attempting to make some kind of impression against his skin and knowing he couldn't feel a fucking bit of my strength. "I belong to you in every single way…and you can't even feel me touching you."

"Oh, Bella," he chuckled darkly. "I can most definitely feel you."

"I'm sick of you having to hold back. I'm sick of wanting more from you and feeling guilty about it later. I know how much effort you put into keeping me safe, Edward, and I do everything I can to push you farther past your limit. I just can't help needing so much from you when we're together."

"You haven't pushed in awhile, baby," he murmured against the shell of my ear, two of his long fingers sliding down my abdomen and beneath my t-shirt and panties until they were rubbing slow circles around my clit. "How much longer do you think we can go on like this before I can't help myself? How long before I bury my cock deep inside you?"

I moaned at the seductive tone of his voice and the slow, torturous ministrations his fingers made. The mood shifted so quickly and in the blink of an eye, having him inside of me was the only thing I wanted. "I don't care if it hurts my arm…I need you to fuck me," I begged him.

He removed his fingers from my body and watched them as he slid my arousal across the bite mark on my neck. "Hmm, is that so?" he murmured distantly, locking his eyes with mine before stroking his tongue slowly across my neck. "Well, I don't know if I can wait any longer to _fuck_ you, beloved."

"Then don't," I demanded hastily.

"Do you really believe yourself capable of not moving while I'm taking you?"

I ran my teeth along his neck, wishing I could bite into his skin like he was able to do with mine. "Once, not too long ago, you didn't think I was capable of being quiet while you fucked me against the wall. I think I proved you wrong…what's stopping me from holding still?"

I felt our fire, our spark burning in the center of my body as his fingers slid over my skin - where had we been all this time?

Edward hissed quietly, nipping at my earlobe as his hands slid over the curve of my ass. "Apparently we'll have to wait in order to answer that question."

I heard Charlie's bedroom door open down the hall, and then the bathroom door closing softly. I had completely forgotten that my father was working the morning shift.

Edward carefully laid me back down onto the bed, taking slow, sweet passes with his tongue against mine, sharing my flavor with me. "I know we need it, Bella. It's been nearly a week since I've watched you come undone from my touch. But today is the last opportunity you have, my love. Tomorrow I'm taking you with me and we're never coming back. So don't let me consume you right now. Pay your respects to the man that brought you into this world; I can't bear to take that away from you."

I nodded shakily, letting it sink in that this was actually it. I was leaving Charlie and I was ready to do so, but I needed it to mean something more for my father and I. Either way he would be devastated by my "death," but it was important for me to leave him with the right words, for both our sakes.

Edward searched my eyes, looking for the slightest bit of hesitation. I kissed his chin and smiled teasingly. "You won't find any, baby. My _God_, you're paranoid."

He grinned at me before leaning down to suck my nipple hard into his mouth through my t-shirt, causing my squeal to turn into a breathy moan. "Evil, evil vampire."

"You haven't seen anything yet, _Isabella_," he promised darkly.

I stroked his cheek and stared at him intently. "I'm just sick of this emo bullshit, vamp boy. Can't we let it all go?"

He kissed my lips and aligned his entire body with mine, gazing at me with a gleam in his reddened eyes. He'd been drinking me so often lately that there was barely any gold to be found. It made him look dangerous and did nothing for my control, especially when his hands were wandering leisurely all over my body.

"As far as I'm concerned, it's gone, Bella."

I groaned and crashed my forehead to his as he pushed the length of his fabric-covered cock against me, causing my hips to thrust frantically against his. "Fuck baby, you really aren't going to give me that are you?" I whined petulantly, pulling at his boxers.

He smirked like the beautiful, dangerous creature he was, giving me one more thrust of his hips before standing from the bed, searching for his clothes. "Today belongs to your father, beautiful girl." He pulled his jeans up his long legs and leaned down to press his lips against my forehead. "But after that Bella, all bets are off the fucking table. You're _mine _first and foremost…don't ever forget that."

I grabbed his hand as he started retreating. "Are you leaving me?"

He ran his lips across my knuckles, back and forth as he gazed at me hungrily beneath his lashes. "If I stay here a second longer, I'll be banging you right through that headboard, beloved."

God, he was killing me. I had missed this intensity, the dark edge to our relationship that we had seemed to lose, overshadowed by the turmoil of our own situation. "Where did we go?" I asked him quietly.

He hummed, smiling at me wickedly. "Our needs may be dark and sinister, Bella, but no matter what, we're always lovers. I think sometimes, we just need each other to be gentle. And other times…" he trailed off, moving our linked fingers down my body until he stilled them right below my belly button. "Other times we need to give into our more basic needs. We show our love for one another in many different ways. And soon enough I'll be showing you repeatedly, right on the hood of my car." His darkened eyes gazed up at me from beneath his lashes as he drifted his fingers along my skin.

I smiled widely in anticipation. Maybe he was right. We had been so preoccupied with struggling to come to terms with the vulnerability of our need for one another, not to mention my regret over Jake and the position I had put the Cullens in. Maybe on some level we had needed to go slow and be worshipful while we worked through those issues, rather than frantic and heated. Or maybe we just needed to figure out an easier way to balance the two. And that was exactly why it was a good thing we had eternity to figure this shit out, because clearly neither one of us were experts.

"Anyway," he continued, "I need to talk to Carlisle before school, and I figured you'd want to take your truck?"

Aw, I had to leave behind my busted old truck. I wasn't as heartbroken about it as I thought I'd be. "Yeah, okay. Well I should probably make Charlie breakfast anyway…"

I sat up and stretched, bringing me eye level with his stomach. I leaned forward and wrapped my good arm around his waist, pressing kisses into his abdomen. "I love you, Edward," I whispered against his cold flesh.

His fingers tangled into my hair and massaged my scalp as he sighed deeply. "I love you too, Bella."

**-x-x-**

I heard the sounds of my father getting ready for work upstairs over the sizzling bacon. He would be leaving about an hour before me, so there was plenty of time to cook him breakfast and share the last morning we had together. The last morning. I was incredibly sad, but above all else, I was so fucking ready.

I felt like a kid on the first day of school - heartbroken that summer was ending, but excited and hopeful to embark on the unknown journey of the new school year. My hands drifted over every surface of the kitchen as I took it in for one of the last times. I was saying goodbye to everything, because nothing in this house would ever be a part of me again…except for the memories I was taking along.

As I began preparing our omelets, I let my mind wander to the previous evening. After Jake had left I barricaded myself in my room, feigning a stomach ache. My minutes were numbered with Charlie but my mind refused to process a fucking thing until I was surrounded by Edward's arms. Once he came to me, I cried out the rest of my annoying goddamn tears. At least _they_ wouldn't be following me into immortality.

I told Edward everything that had happened and we knew what needed to be done. After Alice had seen me recount the situation to Edward, she informed the rest of the family and soon after, Carlisle had called. We needed to work out the logistics of our impending future, from top to bottom. I couldn't go to their house, considering Charlie was adamant on checking up on me every half hour. So with both Edward and Carlisle's cells on speaker phone, we discussed our next step together - as a family.

It turned out that the Cullens had "people." These people, for the right price, would work quickly and discretely to adhere to whatever their elite clients requested of them. I was past worrying about the monetary aspect of things. They'd been around for centuries with a psychic and a mind reader at their disposal, so as far as I was concerned, their wealth was inevitable. I chose to think of it as an added perk to being a member of the undead.

I still felt twinges of guilt over uprooting them like this, but one night not too long ago when the boys had gone hunting and I was tucked into Esme's side, she had made a confession to me. She'd said that in a world that's never ending, a little excitement was something they _lived_ for, so to speak. "It can get so monotonous, Bella, day after day, enduring the same existence. Of course you're surrounded by your mate and family, which makes it all worth while. But the thrill of what's to come, the excitement of something _different_…that's only one of the many wonderful aspects you'll be bringing to this family. I can't wait to see what you'll become, sweetheart."

I tried to imagine what it would feel like when the days and nights had no meaning any longer. To have an infinite amount of time to read books and to study whatever subject I so desired, to ravage my mate and bond with my family and to remain permanent in a world that's always changing. It felt so right to me, to be able to watch the world grow and wither around me while I remained forever young. I wanted to walk every inch of this Earth with my vamp boy by my side. I wanted to learn languages, and travel across lands that no mere mortal could touch. I wanted everything. But more than anything else, I just wanted Edward for eternity.

Now that the time had come to reach out and grab everything I was destined to be a part of, there was no going back; I sure as hell didn't want to. And after once more confirming with utmost certainty that this was what I wanted, we put our plans into motion. Carlisle would call his "people" and we would become nothing more than memories to the ones who once knew us. All of us would "die." The private plane en route to Alaska would crash and there would be no survivors. There would be nothing but bits and pieces of the carrier that held us. When you had "people" like the Cullens did, you didn't have to worry about the logistics of a believable story. If you wanted to fake your death, you did so. Flawlessly. I had no desire to know the details of our departure. As long as it granted us our reprieve and gave me the opportunity to become a permanent part of their lives, it truly didn't matter.

Once we were gone, we would spend our days at the cabin in the middle of nowhere, and when I was ready to take that monumental step, I'd become one of them. I'd be kept safe in the uncivilized land of rural Wyoming, learning to control my hunger and getting a handle on my new existence. We'd all work together through my transformation until I was fully transitioned into my new world. We'd lounge, and study, and ravage. We'd watch the stars twinkling in the sky and appreciate this world while it was still circling around us.

And some day, when we were ready to rejoin humanity, we'd find a new home far away from the likes of Forks, Washington. We'd begin another journey. And another and another, until those twinkling stars burned out.

That sounded like the perfect heaven to me.

So that was our plan. Our plan to remain together, to escape the life I had once known and the enemies who I had once called my brothers. My heart was heavy for my father, but everything else about me was alight with excitement and anticipation. This was what I had wanted, even before I met Edward. I wanted to go someplace where I truly belonged…and it was time to take my leave.

My vampire was finally taking me home.

**-x-x-**

"So you're leaving tomorrow morning instead of Friday after school?" My father questioned between mouthfuls of his breakfast.

I nodded, ignoring the twists and turns inside my stomach. "Yeah, Edward's dad called you last night and okayed it with you, didn't he?"

Charlie nodded, drinking from his coffee cup. "Yeah, he did. I was just double checking, kiddo, not interrogating."

He smiled at me warmly, and I couldn't help but smile back. I was suddenly catapulted into a memory from my childhood. I fell off of my bike in the driveway and Jake started laughing hysterically. When my dad came over to check on me, I told him that Jake pushed me. I was pissed off at him for being a dick so I wanted him to get in trouble. "Did you push her?" Charlie questioned.

Jake began rambling a mile a minute, insisting that he didn't touch me. Charlie chuckled and put his hand on his shoulder. "Easy kid, this isn't an interrogation," he had said.

That entire summer Jake called me an "interrogation," thinking it was some kind of insulting name.

"Bella?"

My dad pulled me out of the distant memory, only further proving that some things never lasted.

And some things did.

"Yeah, Daddy?"

"Are you excited for your trip?"

I smiled but my entire body began to shake. "Yeah, I am," my voice cracked. "I really am, Dad. I'm…I'm just so happy with Edward. You know that right?"

He wiped his mouth with his napkin before setting it down on the table and picking up his fork. "Yeah, Bella, I know that. Hell, you'd have to be some kind of invalid not to see it. I can't say I was thrilled about it at first, but you're an adult now and even I know how important it is to find the person you're supposed to be with."

I tore apart my pancakes as I lost myself in thought. "Are you happy, Charlie?"

He watched me for a moment before he started chuckling. "What's not to be happy about? I've got a great kid and a decent life."

"I know but…what if I never came here to live with you permanently?"

He patted my arm awkwardly. "Are you trying to ask me if I'm gonna be lonely when you take off for college, honey?"

I nodded, unable to speak any words in that moment.

"You can't waste your time worrying about me. I love having you around, but I like living alone too. If I find the right woman then so be it, but if all hope was lost when your mother left…then that's okay too. I'll be fine when you go, Bella."

I disregarded the fact that too many hugs made Charlie feel uncomfortable and wrapped my good arm tightly around his neck. "Just because I won't be here doesn't mean I won't be with you, Daddy. I'll always love you, okay?"

He wrapped one arm around me slowly, and then another, tightening his grip as I tightened mine. "I know that, honey. I'll always love you too. Are you all right?"

I pulled back until I could look at him properly and smiled, nodding my head. "Yeah, I'm good. You know how it is, kids getting all _emu_ these days."

Charlie rolled his eyes at me for blatantly making fun of him. Not too long ago he mistook the word "emu" for "emo" and I hadn't let him live it down since.

My dad shoveled the rest of the food on his plate into his mouth in 2.1 seconds and stood hastily from the table. "I've gotta get going, I'm gonna be late the way it is. What's on the agenda after school, you going over to the Cullens?"

I shook my head. "No I was thinking I'd cook dinner for us and then we could just chill out for the rest of the night."

"Don't you need to pack?"

I swallowed thickly, busying myself by clearing the table. "Yeah, I'll pack before I go to sleep."

"Okay, Bells, well thanks for hanging out with your old man before you go jet setting across the continent," he smirked.

I rolled my eyes, almost in unison with my stomach. "The little private plane we're taking is hardly a jet, Daddy."

Charlie smiled with warm eyes, running his hand over my head before walking briskly out of the kitchen. "Have a good day, kiddo. See you after school."

Once the front door closed, I immediately received a text from Alice.

_It's okay to cry, human. Just because you're sad doesn't mean you're having second thoughts._

I smiled and typed out a reply.

_Thanks, vamp girl. There isn't a doubt in my mind, but it's still hard letting go. I'm ready though…it would hurt whether I left now or twenty years from now._

My phone beeped thirty seconds later, and I seriously wondered how the cheap plastic of her phone could handle her rabid texting skills.

_Keep your chin up, we're going to have so much fun together. And you aren't waiting twenty years, Bella, you'd be all wrinkly and oooold…_

_Alice_, God I loved her.

I cleaned up after the breakfast I had made and went upstairs, still running my fingers along every surface I walked past. Everything seemed different in the light of this final day. I wandered around my room aimlessly, exploring every aspect and determining what parts of my life were meaningless enough to leave behind. I really didn't need to bring much with me, only solidifying the fact that I was ready to take the next step in my life.

But no transformation was easy. Thankfully I had the support of an amazing family to see me through the hardships until there was nothing but clear skies.

This was my beginning.

**-x-x-**

School isn't as tedious when you know you'll never have to return. It wasn't that I never planned on furthering my education, but high school was more of a social experiment than anything for me at this point.

I could have graduated at the end of my junior year but instead decided to stay with the kids I had gone to school with since I was twelve. I was more than ready to leave this place.

I had been extremely quiet all day, eager to study every single detail of the world around me, knowing that it would never look the same again. Edward sat by my side and held my hand, drawing patterns across my skin as he watched our surroundings through my eyes. It had been an extremely peaceful day, and by the time the final bell had rung, I wore a beaming smile upon my face.

I walked out the double doors of Forks High for what would be my last time, and found Edward leaning against the brick building with his hands in his pockets. I would never get over how fucking stunning my vamp boy was.

"Hey gorgeous," I purred, jumping up to plant a quick kiss on his lips before pushing myself into his side. He grabbed my hand and twirled me around in front of him, smiling crookedly as he gazed.

"Look at that smile," he murmured, pulling my hand behind his back until my arm was wrapped around him. "Happy to be free from the clutches of high school?"

I shook my head and chuckled. "No, happy to see you. Happy to put this in the past…just happy in general."

Edward groaned quietly and pulled me in front of him, his lips on my ear as he walked behind me. "You don't know what it does to me, knowing how eager you are to begin our life together." He slid my ring from my right hand to my left before kissing my neck wetly. "Don't take it off, baby."

I wouldn't have dreamed of it.

**-x-x-**

I pulled into my driveway and turned off my truck, studying the patterns on the old seats and inhaling it's aged scent. When I was certain I had committed the little details to memory, I got out of the truck and sat on the tailgate. My father would be home soon and it was an unseasonably warm November afternoon.

I smiled widely when Edward pulled up unexpectedly. And then Alice. And then Emmett. Apparently the whole crew was stopping by. "What the hell is this, the Cullen Brigade?" I questioned, looking at them with a furrowed brow.

"Get used to it," Alice sang, doing several back flips until she was perched on top of the cab of my truck.

The rest of the Cullens piled into the truck bed, apart from Rosalie who stood beside it with her arms crossed over her chest, and Edward who came to stand between my legs. I hummed as he ran the back of his fingers along my throat, closing his eyes as he whispered my name against my lips.

"What are you doing here?" I murmured, pulling him by the collar until his body was flesh against mine.

"It wasn't me," he smiled, kissing my forehead. "They wanted to say goodbye to Charlie before we left tomorrow."

I turned around to look at the others, who were smiling widely. "You guys really wanna say bye to Charlie?"

Emmett shrugged. "Yeah, your dad is cool as hell. I wouldn't eat human food for anyone else, not even you, Bella."

"Thanks," I said dryly, bumping Emmett's leg in silent appreciation. Emmett stared at me a beat longer and gently ruffled my hair. "No seriously though, I know it's gonna be tough on you, leaving your old man behind just to go traipsing around with a bunch of creatures of the night. But you're one of us now, B, and if Charlie is important to you, then he's important to us, too."

My eyes began burning at the sentiment my soon to be brother had just let loose. "Aw Emmett, you're killing me with the sweetness here," I groaned, leaning into him briefly as he reached down to give me one-armed hug. I looked around at the group, and nodded my head. "Thanks guys, it means a lot."

"Bella_, you _mean a lot…when will you realize that?" Alice asked quietly from behind me, and I turned to meet her impenetrable stare. There was something more hidden within her golden umber.

Just then, Jasper cut in. "Don't worry about it, Bella. Rose thinks your dad is extremely attractive, so Lord knows _she _wouldn't have missed her opportunity to say goodbye." I looked over to Jasper who was smiling widely. I waited for the onslaught of Rosalie, and let his playful diversion distract me.

"You're so full of shit, Jasper," Rosalie rolled her eyes, turning away from us.

"Seriously, Bella, when Charlie came for dinner, you should have felt the waves of lust she was throwing at him. It was obscene!"

I groaned in disgust but couldn't help but laugh at her expense, smiling at her over Edward's shoulder. "Well, well…look who's crushing on a human. I thought you didn't approve of such behavior, Rosalie."

Emmett cut in. "I think it's the mustache, honestly. Remember that one time when you made me wear a fake one, babe? Shit, come to think of it there was a police uniform involved as well. You really do want on Chief Swan, don't you?"

Rosalie jumped up and wrapped her arms around Emmett's neck, pulling down until he landed flat on his back in the driveway. "Emmett Cullen if you ever want me to touch you again, you will shut your mouth right fucking now!"

I smiled and locked eyes with Edward, gazing at him as chaos ensued around us. "So this is what it's like, huh?"

He shrugged. "It seems to be. You have to remember, love, I've distanced myself from them for so long. We're doing this together, every step of the way."

"I want this cast off," I whined, tightening my legs around his thighs.

Edward smiled, running his hands up and down my legs. "It's roughly six weeks before the cast can come off naturally, unless…"

"Unless Carlisle gets a little bitey ahead of time?" I teased.

"He's not touching you…no one touches you but me," Edward growled.

"Easy, killer. You know what I mean." I ran my tongue slowly along his bottom lip, and just as he was about to grant me access, my father pulled into the drive.

Somehow I didn't mind.

Charlie smiled as he approached the six of us, fingering his gun playfully. "Is this some kind of party I'm going to have to break up?"

Emmett snorted. "Yeah Chief, I think Rose wants you to try out the handcuffs on her."

I pressed my forehead hard into Edward's shoulder to hide my laughter as Rose growled quietly from the other side of the truck.

Luckily my dad was never one to catch on quickly, so he sailed right over Emmett's comment. "Do we have enough food to feed all these kids, Bells?" he smiled.

I shook my head. "Hell no, I'm not feeding these big oafs. No offense girls."

Alice glared at me before kissing the top of my head. "I just think you need to give yourself more credit, human," she murmured, referring back to her previous comment, before Jasper distracted us. "You need to understand that you will _never _be a burden to us, no matter what. Got it?" With that, she jumped down from the truck, walked over to my father and kissed him on the cheek. "We just wanted to say bye Charlie."

He patted Alice awkwardly on the back and crinkled his forehead in confusion. "It's just the weekend, kids. Is that _emu_ thing contagious or something?"

"I think it might just be," Jasper drawled, jumping down to shake Charlie's hand. "We'll see you soon, Chief."

I thought about Alice's words as each one of them shook my father's hand, realizing then that she would play an incredibly important role in helping me through my change. I wanted to be completely at ease with myself and who I was now, before I abandoned my human self for my new life. I decided to talk to Alice as soon as we left. It wasn't that I couldn't ask Edward anything I wanted to know, but sometimes, you just needed a woman's perspective.

I couldn't help but look on in awe at the family of vampires that typically avoided human contact. It was difficult to comprehend just how much my presence had changed them, nor could I express how much it meant to me that they were willing to alter their way of life just for my sake.

Edward lifted me from the tailgate and took my hand, kissing the top of my head. "Come on," he whispered, placing one more kiss on my temple as we approached Charlie.

**-x-x-**

**EPOV**

**-x-x-**

When my siblings had all informed me that they wanted to go over to Bella's to bid Chief Swan farewell, I barely knew what to say. Year after year I had withdrawn from them, unwilling to open up and crawl out of my own misery to become a part of the family that wanted me. And now, with open arms, they were inviting my mate and I into the dynamic that had been waiting for us all along. Only now, with Bella by my side, everything about this experience was so much sweeter.

The four of them departed after saying goodbye to Bella's father, leaving me and my human girl in the driveway with him. I took her hand and kissed her gently, internally recognizing the other needs I couldn't deny…the frantic and rough yearnings that I had never abandoned but somehow dismissed ever since bone had torn through her flesh.

Thankfully, Bella and I had managed to awaken from our fog of discouragement, and remember the other parts of our relationship that were just as vital as our gentle, quiet moments together.

The beast was reminding me that he hadn't gone anywhere.

With her hand cradled inside of mine, we approached her father. "Chief Swan, I'll still see you tomorrow morning when my parents and I pick up Bella, so I won't say goodbye just yet," I smiled.

Internally, he was alight with happiness for his daughter and…a woman? Perhaps a date? At times, his mind was difficult for me to read properly. But if he was actively pursuing a woman, it would make Bella more at ease over our departure. Not that she was overly devastated about it to begin with, much to my surprise. I knew how much she loved her father, but in that same token, she continually made it known that her place had always been beside me, and that she had no reservations about joining me for our eternity.

The path we had taken was rocky indeed, but the ending result was turning out to be pure and utter bliss.

"No problem, Edward," he assured me. "Are you sticking around for dinner?"

Bella smiled up at me widely. "Yeah, we've got some venison in the freezer, Edward. Deer…your favorite." She bumped my hip and I tickled her side at her mocking tone.

"I'd like to, but I don't want to intrude on your time together. Plus, there's much to be done before we leave tomorrow." I nodded at Charlie and ran my fingers beneath Bella's chin. "Thank you for thinking of me though, _Isabella."_

A shiver ran through her body as I spoke her full first name, and I winked at her before stepping away. Charlie put his arm around his daughter, waving goodbye as Bella smiled reverently. "Come on, Nemo," I heard him murmur, steering Bella towards the front door as the distance grew between us. Normally it pained me to watch her walk away from me, but I knew how important these last few moments were with her father, and I wanted her to cherish them.

And then I would never let her leave my sight ever again.

**-x-x-**

Hours later I stood in the center of our living room, listening to the sounds of the household. Normally I kept my gift to myself as much as possible, for obvious reasons, but at this point I needed to know what my family was thinking. It still amazed me that none of them felt inconvenienced or angry about our abrupt need to move. But I couldn't deny the fact that none of them particularly liked to stay in one place for long, not only to conceal our identity, but also because it was vital that we kept things interesting in a world that's never ending.

Carlisle was in his study, picking and choosing between certain medical journals he'd be taking along. All of our belongings would get back to us eventually, but these things took time. I searched his mind for hesitations or doubts, but was only met with the confirmation that this was undoubtedly the predestined step for our family. Bella belonged with us and he couldn't dispute that, nor did he want to. He loved her like his own child, just as he loved each one of us.

We only had to fake our deaths once before, when a human had discovered what we were in the late fifties. That time it was a house fire, and this time it would be a plane crash. The details were still unclear to me, but the Jenks family had been servicing us for generations. I was certain our payments over the years had been enough on their own accord to make the Jenks financially set for future generations to come. Anything in this world was possible for the right price, and when you had as much to hide as we did, discretion was everything. Carlisle had just enough compassion and intimidation inside of him to make his relationship with Jenks cordial…but frightening.

It had seemed to work well for us so far.

Alice and Jasper were lying on their bed, discussing with excitement our new destination. They were eager for the isolation, the varying game to feed on, and the new addition to our family. "I hope she doesn't wait long to be changed, Jasper. She's been the missing piece; I've known it all along."

I smiled at her comment warmly, thankful that in finding the person I was meant to be with, I had also found a best friend for Alice. Even though we all preferred to keep our distance, her inner dialogue was a constant reminder that she needed someone who was more similar to her. She adored Esme, but more as a mother, and Rose was her friend, but not in the way she needed. Bella had been the answer to her prayers, as well as mine.

Emmett and Rosalie were…engaging in their normal activities, so I immediately tuned them out. But just the fact that they weren't acting out of the ordinary was proof enough to me that they openly accepted our move, as well as Bella.

"Edward Cullen…you're reading us."

Two soft arms wrapped around me from behind as Esme chuckled, resting her chin on my bicep.

"You caught me," I smiled.

"There's nothing to worry about, sweetheart, you know that right?"

I turned to face her and was met with the woman who I never thought I deserved as a mother and a friend. "I've asked an awful lot, Esme," I murmured.

She squeezed my hand tightly as she observed me for a moment. "You still don't realize it, do you son?" When I made no attempt to answer, she continued. "Not only do we love you so incredibly much, but we love Bella too. Everyone, even Rosalie, has wanted you to open up and become a part of this family. We'd move mountains to have you with us, Edward. This is not a sacrifice…as far as I'm concerned, we've all been given a gift."

"I'm trying to comprehend that, Esme, but old habits die hard," I murmured thoughtfully.

My eyes widened when she playfully smacked me upside the head. "Well, believe it, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!" she smirked, raising her voice an octave higher.

"Always using all four of my names," I muttered teasingly.

"Only when you deserve it," she pointed a finger at my chest and in the next instance was half way up the staircase. She turned and smiled at me like the mother she was destined to be. "Tell Bella I love her, and that I've been looking forward to tomorrow for months now."

"What about tomorrow, exactly?" I questioned.

She smiled wryly before turning to walk up the stairs. "Being able to keep her forever."

My dead heart fluttered as Esme departed, and despite the late hour, I needed my human girl so desperately in that moment. I was out the door and half way to her home before I even registered my movements.

**-x-x-**

As I perched upon the tree that I had knocked over all those months ago, I felt a strong wave of déjà vu. It felt like only yesterday that I had toppled that tree over jealousy of Embry climbing up her drain pipe. It all seemed so minimal now; even then she belonged to me.

It was a quarter past three and her bedroom light was still on. I smiled as she hummed a Pixies song, the sound of clothing ruffling in the background as she packed. I loved this girl. With everything inside of me, I loved her. The next twenty four hours would be the defining moments of my existence. My death, my transformation from man to beast, the years of solitude…each hardship in my life had led me to this moment, this girl, and our life together…

I was so unbelievably blessed.

When I could no longer take our unneeded distance I was at her window, lifting it slowly to avoid the creak it tended to make in the quiet of the night. Without turning away from her closet, she began chuckling. "I was going to call you soon, vamp boy. This isn't the night before our wedding. You're allowed to see me, you know."

I slid quietly behind her, wrapping both arms around her waist and pressing her tightly to my body, just breathing her in. "Why, you don't wish to marry me tomorrow?" I whispered heavily.

She turned in my grasp, gazing at me with sparkling chocolate eyes as we held onto each other in the dead of the night. "I'll marry you tomorrow, baby. I'd marry you right now, if I had a priest hiding out in the closet…which I don't."

I ran my nose along the curve of her neck, appreciating the sweet scent of the blood that flowed through her veins. I was in agreement with Alice - hopefully she wouldn't wait long to become my vampire. "Carlisle has been ordained, shall I call him?"

She looked at me in surprise and I chuckled. "He married Rosalie and Emmett…he was still a newborn and much too ravenous to be around humans, and as I'm sure you very well know, when Rosalie is impatient, she tends to get what she wants sooner rather than later."

"I'll bet," she murmured, pressing her lips gently to mine. "Well that settles it then. You and me, with every star in the sky shimmering, on the top of a mountain, surrounded by our family. Just us, just the beauty of nature and _this…"_ She pressed her hand to my chest and then to hers, leaning up to kiss me again. "Just us. That's what I want."

"You'll have it," I murmured breathlessly, emotion and need bubbling up inside of me rapidly. I pushed her against the wall beside her closet, my tongue sliding eagerly into her mouth as our moans mixed together between us.

"Please," Bella whimpered, fisting my shirt as she pleaded with her eyes.

I grabbed her coat from the desk chair and put it on her, kissing her with heated passion before carefully throwing her on my back. "We're going now, love."

We were out her window in a flash as I ran steadily toward my home. I knew exactly where I was taking her, because when I made my promise to her this morning, I had no intention of breaking it.

I slammed the side garage door loudly behind us as we entered, making sure no one would dare interrupt us. Even though I was certain Alice wouldn't allow it. The room was shrouded in darkness, apart from the dim light being cast from the large LCD clock hanging above Rosalie's workbench. I set Bella on the hood of my Volvo and stared at her darkly from beneath my lashes, my palms coming to rest on either side of her on the car.

My breathing was labored and I was shaking violently, overcome with such a need for my love that I could barely contain it. My eyes rolled back as she wrapped her legs around my waist, pulling me closer by their grip until I was hovering above her. Apparently I wasn't the only one who couldn't harbor our uncontrollable desperation; my human girl was trembling violently as her eyes burned into mine.

With slow precision, I slid her coat from her shoulders, never taking my eyes off of hers as I disrobed her inch by inch. Faster than she could register I dropped to my knees, grabbing her by the thighs and pulling until she was perched on the edge of the hood. I inhaled deep, pushing my nose against the seem of her jeans and breathing in nothing but the intoxicating arousal of my Bella.

My hands slid under her ass and I tucked my fingers into her back pockets, pulling hard until she was pressed tightly against my mouth. I could almost feel the pitch blackness forming in my eyes as I smoldered up at her, pushing my teeth against her covered heat and applying enough pressure to make her cry out loudly and spasm in my grip.

"Rip it," she begged me, pulling my hair with all of her might as I ran my tongue up and down the denim covering my salvation.

I smiled and placed a gentle kiss on her inner thigh. "I told you I'd be taking you on the hood of my car, beloved, didn't you believe me?" She moaned in response, undulating her hips in a silent plea for more. "Do you know how long I've waited to suck this little pussy dry, Bella? Tell me I'll never have to go this long without you again."

"Never again," she cried as my teeth tore through the fabric of her jeans. I growled like a beast as I ripped the barrier remaining between us, casting it aside and gazing hungrily at the see-through pink lace covering her wet center. "God, I want you on my tongue," I murmured darkly, pushing my thumb against the soaking fabric in slow strokes.

Bella let out a slew of profanities, making my cock throb even harder against it's denim confines. I wanted everything at once; it was nearly unbearable to have to take my time. It was worth the build up however, because she was going to cum the fucking second my tongue touched her burning skin.

I placed a soft kiss against her wet underwear and rose to maneuver her shirt around the offending cast inhibiting her. I couldn't wait until she was free of this monstrosity. Once her shirt was off, I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my cheek against her breasts, sighing deeply. "I love you, Bella. So much..."

Her breathing wavered as she buried her fingers in my hair, leaning down to kiss the top of my head. "I know, baby. I love you too."

I looked up to meet her dark brown eyes and found everything I held dear inside them. I slid my hands around to her back and let my fingers trail up her spine until I met the clasp of her bra. "How long will you make me wait, my beautiful girl?" I murmured softly, struggling with my patience as I managed to relieve her of her bra without damaging it.

I swirled my tongue around each of her nipples delicately, groaning deeply at the way her body would arch and then shudder from my touch. "I won't make you wait at all. I want to be your vampire as soon as possible, Edward. I want all of you, every piece of you."

"You already have it," I insisted as I kneaded her white, silken flesh.

"But I want you to lose control with me."

"One day I will," I promised as I released the button of her tattered jeans. "One day we will destroy every single thing standing in our way while we take each other. I want to watch you crumble brick and splinter wood, all because you need me so fucking badly that you can't even think."

"Yes," she whimpered, wiggling her hips in assistance as I relieved her of her last bit of clothing.

"I can lose control right now, if you'd like," I growled, dragging my tongue between her breasts and down her stomach until I was sucking the sweet skin above her clit into my mouth.

"_Motherfuck_," she growled, slamming her hand against the hood of my car as she lost her breath entirely.

I ran my hands up and down her legs, admiring the artwork that was her naked form. I would never get enough, touch enough, feel enough, have enough, _fuck_ enough…God, every piece of this girl existed solely for me.

I took two fingers and ran them slowly around her swollen heat, but never touched her where she needed me most. I was fascinated with her sex, her desire for me glistening along her pink, fragile skin. She was so fucking beautiful I could barely comprehend it.

"Edward," she moaned unevenly, her fingers trembling as they curled into my hair. "If you think you're doing the 'cum without touching' thing, you're sadly mistaken. Lick me, baby…"

My nostrils flared as those two sensuous words drifted seductively off of her tongue. _Lick me_, she commanded. I gladly complied.

I pushed my top lip hard against her clit as my tongue penetrated her sweet body. She cried out loudly in delight, a sound I had been craving for far too long. I closed my eyes and hummed as her hot skin pulsed against my mouth, her liquid coating my tongue and setting my entire body on fire. "Fuck, Bella," I growled frantically, sucking her harder than I should have and sinking my fingers into her soft thighs.

Every gasping breath was a cry of pleasure as she thrust against me, pushing and pulling in ecstasy as I ravaged her sweet pussy. Her pulse was pounding against my tongue, taunting me with it's scent and steady rhythm. I felt the urge to tear through her delicate flesh to get to that sweet nectar, but I never would…not like that.

She knew exactly what I needed.

Her hand slid slowly down her body until two fingers were pressed against the fading bite mark on her thigh. "Take both. Take it all…"

I moaned loudly and sucked her fingers into my mouth, letting my teeth gently graze them before she slid them out. I nearly fucking lost consciousness when she began swirling them tantalizingly slow around her clit. "Perhaps _you'll_ be the one making _me_ cum without touching, Isabella," I growled darkly, pushing my palm against my raging erection to alleviate some of the pressure. "Mmm…such a good girl, playing with your little pussy for me."

She moaned eagerly in response.

I ran my tongue along her bite mark and circled my fingers around hers once before sliding them into her smoldering body, moaning deeply as her slick walls clenched down around me. Bella began whimpering in short, frantic breaths, and I knew she wasn't far from another climax. "Put your teeth in me, put your _teeth_ in me," she rambled almost incoherently, her eyes clenched tightly as our fingers worked together against her throbbing skin.

I groaned and curled my fingers inside her, my brow furrowing with unadulterated need as my teeth tore through her pale flesh. I was immediately met with the warm flowing miracle that was her blood, pouring into my mouth and satiating me so entirely. I would miss this, but I was ready to sacrifice it in order to have her for eternity. Every sacrifice we had to make would be more than worth it in the end.

Her orgasm hit her forcefully as I sucked her blood into my mouth, a scream releasing from her lips as she flailed frantically against me. I immediately worried about her arm. I didn't want an ounce of pain caused because of the senseless injury she endured nearly one week ago. "I'm okay, baby, don't stop. God, don't stop," she begged me, holding my wrist as my fingers pumped in and out of her.

I hummed against her thigh and closed my eyes, drowning in her thick crimson and becoming thoroughly intoxicated from being surrounded by Bella so entirely. My other hand trembled around her thigh as I held her to me, letting her blood pool on my tongue. I removed my fingers from her body and slid them up her abdomen and between her breasts until they were in her mouth. She moaned as she greedily sucked her flavor from my fingers, not missing a drop as I lost myself to her taste.

Once my tongue was coated in her blood, I pressed my mouth against her glistening heat, moaning desperately as her two decadent flavors combined, leaving me weak and impossibly light headed. It was almost more than I could take. I held her wound with my hand so no blood would spill, and drank my human girl in every way possible. I was so close to release that I had to stop; the only place I'd be cumming was inside my beautiful girl.

I took one last swipe of her blood before sealing her wound, immediately crawling up her body until our tongues were swirling around one another. "Tell me how incredible you taste, beloved," I whispered, leaving a smear of blood across her lip as I moved down to lick the column of her throat.

She gasped as my teeth grazed her skin, her arm wrapping tightly around my neck as she cried out wildly. "So good…I need you inside me, Edward, right fucking now…"

I lifted my head and pressed both hands against the hood of my car on either side of her, sucking her earlobe into my mouth. "Get my cock out, Bella," I demanded, licking the shell of her ear before looking between us and watching as she fumbled with the button of my pants.

She struggled to release it with one hand, and I reached between us to circle her nipple with my thumb. "You can do it, beloved. Get it out, stroke me hard…I'm fucking throbbing for you."

She whimpered and finally released the button, sliding my zipper down and pulling on my pants until I sprang free. She gripped me in her fist and I groaned loudly as she squeezed me, her little hand shaking from the force she was using on my cock. The harder she stroked me, the more I felt it. I was so fucking close, I wasn't sure how much longer I could hold out. "Where do you want it, _Isabella_," I growled through gritted teeth, thrusting my cock into her grip as I hovered above her.

"Inside me," she insisted breathlessly, slamming her forehead against mine as she jerked me frenziedly.

I grabbed her hips and pulled her toward me, moaning as the tip of my cock pressed against her burning heat. "Put me inside you…put me inside baby," I gasped, holding my breath as she guided me forward and pushed against me until I was completely sheathed in her body.

"Jesus Christ," I growled, pushing my forehead into the crook of her neck as she circled her hips against me. Two more thrusts and I came violently, slamming into her sporadically as she milked every inch of me.

I stayed inside of her, losing myself in the sensations of our bodies combining and the pleasure she continually provided for me. I kissed every inch of her skin I could reach as I rested against her, moving slowly in and out of her as she whimpered through heavy breaths.

I slid my fingers over her abdomen and closed my eyes at the feel of our bodies trembling together. "Mmm…do you want more, my sweet girl?" I murmured, pushing inside her body and pulling out painfully slow. "Can I give you more?"

She nodded shakily and kissed me with abandon, our lips moving sensuously and rapidly together as I pulled her tighter against me. "I love you, Edward, I'll never stop needing you like this."

I kissed her forehead, her nose, and finally her lips before I stood upright, gazing at her with pure adoration as I stroked her body slowly. "Turn around, love," I whispered, pulling out of her completely and assisting her with the movements I required.

I reached around and tucked her coat beneath her disabled arm, kissing the curve of her shoulder before standing up and studying her delicate spine and the breathtaking curve of her ass. She was absolutely stunning.

I curled my fingers around her sides and watched as my thumbs met in the middle of her back, sliding them down until they were kneading the soft skin above her thighs. "We can spend weeks, months, _years _learning every inch of each other's bodies, Bella. Forever, if we want."

I ran my thumbs between her legs and spread her apart, allowing the tip of my cock to slide against her swollen skin. "You make me feel so alive," I whispered breathlessly, slowly pressing my way inside her until we were connected once more.

"Closer," Bella breathed, the salt of her tears suddenly permeating the air. I slid my arm beneath her body and hooked my hand around her shoulder, resting my front against her back as we moved together languidly.

"Don't cry, Bella," I murmured, kissing her shoulder blades and sliding my lips to the curve of her neck. "Please don't cry, beautiful girl."

"I just need you so much it scares me, Edward," she whispered brokenly, arching up into my embrace to close the imaginary distance between us. "I love you, like…"

"Like air," I murmured, pulling her tighter. "I know…I _know_." I groaned in a mixture of frustration and pleasure. It was heaven being inside her body, but my skin was crawling with the urge to explain to her how ardently I loved her. There was just no way I could put it into words. So I touched her, I worshipped her…and I loved her with all of my fucking heart.

I slid my hand down her arm until our fingers were entwined. The only sounds around us were our heavy breathing, and our wet skin sliding slowly together. We watched the sun rise as we made love to one another, and as one ray of light ghosted across our intertwined fingers through the small garage window, I couldn't tell where the shimmering of skin began and ended. In that moment, it was as if we were both reflecting that radiant light.

With our cries of pleasure, we greeted the new morning.

The first morning of the rest of our lives.

**-x-**

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**I'm REALLY excited to write the next chap, just sayin'! :D**

**Thank you to my girl Isabel. As always, you can see exactly what this story is missing. I mean it when I say I couldn't do this without you! Love ya! :D**

**I need everyone to gather around and do me and yourselves a giant favor. My twin, lazykate, has just started a new fic! And let me tell you, it's downright amazing. Here's the summary:**

**Make Your Own Kind of Music by: Lazykate**

**Summary: Surely love can conquer all...but can Edward handle what Bella has chosen to do to support herself and those she loves?**

**I know! Intriguing, right? Gah! Go check out this fic immediately! You may just be in for a surprise! Here is the linkie****: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5443485/1/Make_Your_Own_Kind_of_Music **

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**Now, would you mind sending me some reviews? I sure could use the pick me up, ladies. I appreciate each and every one of you! :)  
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**Until next time!**


	23. Until We Meet Again

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Holy crap, could I have taken any longer with this chapter if I tried? Probably not…and for that I'm very sorry. Get your read on and I'll see you down below! :)**

**-x-x-**

*****BPOV*****

"You better hope the clouds come out soon," I smirked at Edward, taking one last look around my room to be sure I had everything I needed.

"It will, it's still quite early," he smiled crookedly, pulling a pair of sunglasses from his shirt pocket and slipping them on. Goddamn, my vamp boy looked good.

I walked toward him where he was lying on my bed and climbed over him, straddling his stomach as I beamed down at him. "You're so cocky," I accused.

"Mmhmm," he murmured, lifting his hips off of the bed and proving to me just how _cocky_ he was.

"You're happy, too," I whispered, lowering myself onto him until we were chest to chest.

He cradled my disabled arm with his, lifting his sunglasses with his other hand until they were perched on top of his head. He stared at me with endless red eyes. He drank from me so passionately last night, and as a result there was no golden left in his depths. Reddened eyes were supposed to be a threatening attribute for your run of the mill vampire, but on Edward it was beautiful. On him, it was nothing but the accumulation of our love. He drank me because he was in love with me, because I was in love with him; because we both needed to be lost in our consumption. He wore it proudly in his eyes, just like I proudly wore his marks on my skin.

I could still feel his teeth in my body, hours later. The burn of lightning continued to swirl through my veins long after I treated my vamp boy to his most favorite delicacy. My skin felt as if it were electrically charged, sharp crackles and pops mixed in with the smoothest, most pleasurable feeling. That was Edward and I…we were the blood I eagerly gave him and the consumption he felt as it slid down his throat. Soon, we wouldn't have it any longer, but the gratification I felt while watching him take blood from my body would be something I'd never forget.

"You don't know how happy I am, beautiful girl," he murmured, running his fingers through my hair as he gazed up at me. "You simply have no idea."

I felt my need for him clenching in my lower abdomen, my love for him threatening to explode in my chest right along with it. Today was going to be so incredibly emotional for me, and I knew he was my only chance of staying grounded. My hand was shaking as I fisted it in his shirt, my body shuddering in nerves and anticipation. I pressed my nose into the crook of his neck and breathed steadily, needing him so desperately all of a sudden that I could barely force air in and out of my lungs. "Edward," I whimpered, pushing my body tighter against him as his arms came around me.

"What's the matter, beloved?"

I shook my head, pressing my lips against his neck as I clamored to get closer, to be held tighter, to fuse myself to him entirely. "I don't know, I need you. I just need you," I whispered softly.

"You have me, baby," he soothed gently yet urgently, rising until he was sitting on the bed with me in his lap. "We don't have to let go after today. Just take a deep breath, Bella."

I felt that familiar overwhelming ache as I struggled to steady my breathing. The one that made me feel like I would burst at every seam from the love I was harboring in my body for him. The need to touch him and the emotion that threatened to suffocate me with its intensity, fuck, I could almost feel it start to pull me under. Maybe it was anxiety over my upcoming departure from the only life I'd ever known, but I was downright frantic for my vamp boy.

"Hold me tighter," I begged him, tears welling up in my eyes as I quietly cursed my broken arm for furthering the distance between us.

His lips were soft and sweeping as they covered every inch of my face, his arms sliding beneath my own and wrapping around my waist until I was encircled by nothing but my vampire. "Tell me when, beloved."

Ever so slowly he increased the strength of his hold, gently rocking me back and forth. The tighter he surrounded me, the calmer I felt, bit by bit, breath by breath. The slight pain of his constriction was something I burned for, like his teeth in my skin and my blood in his eyes. "Right there," I whispered breathlessly when he was holding me just right, my chest pushing against his as I took deep, steady breaths.

"I love you, Bella, and so does my family. From here on out, it's just you and me. I know it's hard…but it means so much that you're willing to sacrifice everything just to be with me. I don't deserve you, baby, but I'll spend every moment I have left on this earth worshipping you, proving to you how ardently I adore you." Edward's voice wavered in intensity, his fists curling against my back as he battled with his strength.

"I want you more than anything," I whispered, leaning back to meet his gaze, our noses pressed delicately together.

The emotion in his eyes, the contortion of his features as he released a heavy breath of overwhelming need. This would forever be my life…a forever I'd cherish every day of my existence.

"I know you do, my beautiful girl. God…I know you do." His lips met mine forcefully as he exhaled through his nose, losing himself entirely as our tongues mingled intricately together. "The world…it's ours, Bella."

I raked my fingers back and forth through his unruly hair, staring into his crimson eyes. "I'm ready, Edward. I was ready the moment you took my blood in the woods for the first time, before we'd ever spoken a word. I've wanted this from the moment we sat in my window sill and gazed at each other for hours. From that first night…you could have taken me away and I would have begged you to take me farther. My need for you doesn't fit in this body, baby. It crawls along my skin and it burns my heart and I feel like it could destroy me altogether. I don't want to be your human girl anymore, Edward. I need to be your equal so you can let loose on me, so I can be infallible enough to fit this love I have for you inside me. No more holding back, for either of us." His eyes fluttered closed as my palm slid along his cool cheek, his forehead crashing to mine as he whimpered my name.

I felt us becoming almost fatigued as the fresh wave of overpowering need washed over us, but there was no time for this. He had to go and then return with his parents so he could take me away from here. I had to hug my father goodbye and let myself forever be haunted with the conjured image of him finding out that his only child had died in a plane crash. I was certain I'd be able to feel his pain, no matter how far apart we were. But then I would take one look at Edward and know that it was just another step toward a truth that could never be denied. Edward and I were meant to exist together as mates, as immortal beings - as each other's.

Maybe I was a horrible child, worse than the snarky girl who drank tequila and smoked weed with her criminal Indian boys. But I needed Edward, and if I were to go on loving him in this breakable body, it wouldn't be his hands that destroyed me. It would be his love.

I couldn't contain this energy any longer. It was like a ticking time bomb beneath my skin. Taking one look at Edward, I knew the feeling was identical for him. Only he couldn't contain the need to hold me tight, to fuck me hard, to show me just how desperately I belonged to him alone.

Both of us needed my immortality to survive, otherwise we'd both be taken under. That was worth any sacrifice we'd have to make. Worth betraying Jake and screwing over the boys and breaking my father's heart. Worth absolutely fucking everything.

"Bella," Edward rasped, his fingertips sliding up and down my back beneath my shirt.

I needed him inside. He needed to be inside.

But we were running out of time.

"We need to go, baby," I smiled, tears streaming gently down my cheeks as I stared into his unfathomable eyes. "Come back with your parents and take me forever, take me as yours, okay?"

"I'm bruising you," he breathed, his tightening fingers trembling against my delicate skin.

"Bruise me," I pleaded, kissing his neck as I struggled to cling to him with that stupid fucking cast in my way. "When the last breath leaves my lips, I'll have your marks all over me, Edward."

"I love you so fucking much, Isabella," he growled, kissing me heavily on the lips before we slowly began the painful task of untangling our bodies from one another.

I couldn't even bring myself to stand; my legs were impossibly weak and the rest of my body burned with an aching arousal that couldn't be soothed just yet. His breathing was strained as he walked to my suitcases and zipped them up, setting them next to the door and appearing before me again in a blur.

He gazed at me for an immeasurable amount of time, his fingers sliding along my jaw as he took me in. "The clouds rolled in," he murmured, leaning down to sweep his bottom lip along mine.

We remained like that, our mouths caressing but never diving in to take that first step toward our perfect kiss. "I love you," I breathed into his mouth, running my hand along his cheek and missing the sensation of feeling his body on mine.

He didn't speak again; he didn't need to. His eyes said more than words, more than touches ever could.

In an instant he was out my window, leaving me aching for more and desperate to disappear with my vampire and his family.

I belonged to them, and soon we'd never have to be apart again.

**-x-x-**

*****EPOV*****

**-x-x-**

I could barely make one foot move in front of the other as I disappeared into the forest outlining Bella's home. Everything seemed as if it were coming to a head; our intensity, our connection, this daunting means to an end that was approaching so incredibly fast, yet not fast enough.

It was clear to me that we both realized at the same moment that this was slowly eating us alive. This morning after I'd taken her on the hood of the Volvo, she had just shivered in my arms for nearly a half an hour. Violently trembling, every muscle in her little body tight and alert as she whimpered my name and clung to me like it was the last time we'd ever touch.

I was about to question her, but quickly realized what was happening. It was taking her over. The power of _us_ was completely consuming her fragile body. She couldn't take it, it made her ache, and as she fell apart in my arms, I feared that maybe there wasn't much more that she _could _take.

As I finally found my bearings and ran full speed from my salvation and toward my family, my mind became frantic over the similar condition I had just left her in.

One minute she was teasing me about the sun, the next she was crying and begging me to hold her together. My anxiety about this day had been building, fearful of the pain she'd be subjected to when she would inevitably have to leave her father. I wasn't naïve enough to still believe that she would one day regret this decision. Our union was written in the stars, as obvious as the color of the grass or the sun in the sky. Isabella Swan belonged to me, body and soul, and I unwaveringly belonged to her.

Day in and day out I had worried that something would take her from me while she was still human. A car crash, an illness, my eager hands…but the love she felt for me? The need that washed through her when we just couldn't get enough? How could I have ever possibly imagined that it could physically harm her? God, the way her body shook in my arms. The way she ached for me and cried for me, how she looked as if she would combust from everything boiling up inside her…

I had to talk to Carlisle.

My mind was fucking frantic, on the verge of hysteria as I bolted up the front steps and into the living room, my chest heaving with fear as my overactive mind conjured up the most tormenting images. My human girl lifeless, dead, gone, because of _me_. Whether it was by my hand or a result of our overwhelming love - what if I was the one to destroy her? How much love could a heart honestly take before it surrendered? So many times when my human girl was clinging to me and desperately trying to get me closer, her pulse would fly almost erratically and her heart thundered rapidly against her chest. How much more of _us _could she realistically handle?

I fell to my knees at the foot of the stairs leading to the second level, my hands fisting in my hair as I let my fear and paranoia take me under.

In an instant Alice was kneeling by my side, one little hand on my shoulder as the rest of my family thankfully gave me the space I needed. "Oh Edward," Alice soothed. "I don't doubt you're right about Bella's need taking its toll on her body, but there's no reason to let it upset you…not anymore."

I let out a jagged breath, my chest heaving as she continued. "You're so close now, Edward, don't you see? After we've had a bit of time to settle in Wyoming and Bella decides she's ready, then she'll be ours _forever. _She'll be indestructible…then you can let yourself breathe again."

I swallowed thickly, letting my hands fall to my thighs. "I know I'm acting irrationally, Alice, but I can't…_fuck_…I can't be without her. I can't _exist_ without her. If I ever let anything happen to her…" I trailed off, shaking my head as anxiety and nausea twisted in my deadened body.

I felt myself begin to tremble as Alice rested her chin on my bicep. "Today is going to be emotionally charged, for every one of us - especially Bella. You can't let your biggest fears overtake you now, not when she needs you the most. Trust your psychic sister, we'll get her changed in time."

We fell silent for a moment as she granted me fleeting images of Bella - eyes golden, skin pale, and feisty as ever. "Really?" I whispered quietly.

"Yes, Edward. There was never any doubt."

I nodded, chuckling dryly to myself. "Loving like this can drive a person crazy."

Alice hummed in agreement. "Well if love is insanity, than sign me up for a straight jacket, big brother. It makes the world go round, you know."

"Yeah," I whispered, shaking my head. "It's taken me a hundred years to figure it out, but I know."

"Such a small price to pay though, isn't it?" she murmured thoughtfully, standing to kiss the top of my head. "A century of solitude, in turn for the love of your existence."

"You make my self-loathing former-self seem so frivolous," I smirked.

"Can you remember it?" she questioned.

I shrugged a shoulder. "If I wanted to I could. There's certainly no need to, however."

"Then it _is_ frivolous, Edward. The second you gave into Bella, everything began to _mean_ something. And that's what your immortality should mean to you. Forget the black shadows of your past and live for the moment you first heard her heartbeat. Let it go, brother. Be what you were always meant to be. My family, and her mate. Our vampirism is so far from a curse, Edward. So far from it."

I looked at her a long moment, rising to my feet. "Have you always been so spectacular, Alice?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course I have, you've just been too self-absorbed in your own misery to notice it. Now cheer up, you get to keep your human, starting today."

I smiled widely, feeling a surge of excitement rather than terror shoot through me. "Yes, I do indeed."

She gave me a hug, squeezing tightly. "Go talk to Carlisle. Jazz, Rose, Emmett and I are going to take the Jeep to the airport. Afterward I think we'll go for a nice jog…maybe to, I don't know, Wyoming?"

"Hmm, perhaps we'll see you there," I smiled crookedly. "So do you know the logistics of this whole thing?"

Alice shrugged. "I don't ask questions, nor have I really been paying attention. You know how it goes; Carlisle demands, and Jenks complies. That's all we really need to know, isn't it?"

I readily agreed. I'd been so absorbed with Bella, always by her side, that I hadn't really discussed the details of our impending fake "deaths." But Alice was right, as always. None of it mattered, as long as it meant I got to keep my love for eternity.

I ascended the stairs with a new level of clarity, thanks to the sprite of a vampire I considered my sister. This day was the beginning, not the end. I was eager to collect my human girl and embark on our journey into the unknown. We had both been ready for this for so long.

The time was now.

**-x-x-**

*****BPOV*****

I knelt in my bedroom, studying the wooden flooring as my palm pressed flat against it. I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds around me as I traced the B carved subtly into the floor, absorbing this moment entirely and promising myself I'd never lose it, regardless of the transformations I would soon be undergoing.

"Bella, the Cullens just pulled up; you ready to go?" I heard my father walking up the stairs as he called to me, two hot tears squeezing from between my closed eyelids.

"I've never been more ready," I whispered to myself.

I brushed my hand along the worn brown flooring once more and rose to my feet, wincing at the sharp pain of healing bone in my arm. Edward was here, and that mere fact devastated my body in the most beautiful way. I needed him. I needed him so fucking desperately that I could barely stand. I also needed to throw myself in my daddy's arms and pray that he understood how much I loved him, and why I had to leave.

"You okay, kiddo?" my father questioned from the doorway, reaching down to grab my suitcases. "You look like you've just seen a ghost."

I shook my head, smiling warmly. "No I'm good, Daddy. I'm so excited to go…I'm just going to miss you."

Charlie's brown eyes softened as he stared at me a moment, nodding his head toward the stairs. "I'm going to miss you too, Nemo. Come on, they're waiting for you."

I took one long last look around my room, committing to memory every aspect I could grasp before turning on my heel and walking away. My chest was fluttering, my eyes were burning…and I was walking steadily forward without one single fucking regret.

**-x-x-**

I reached the bottom of the stairs and saw Edward standing in the entry way with his parents. Relief poured through my body and I rushed to him, knowing our reunion would be emotional and not caring who was there to see it. His hands ran frantically up and down my sides as our foreheads crashed together. I buried my fingers into his hair and held him to me as I exhaled a sigh of relief, the destined feeling of our bodies pressing together giving me the calm I needed to get through this.

"Are you okay, my love?" he murmured softly, eyes clenched as he swallowed thickly.

I nodded, my brow furrowing as I stood on my tiptoes to get closer to him. "I just needed you, Edward," I whispered quietly. "I always need you so fucking much…"

His cold lips pressed against my forehead in pillow-soft brushes, his fingers twisting in the fabric of my sweater as he breathed my name against my skin. "Feel me, sweet girl, I'm right here."

Our fingers tangled and I took a deep breath, lifting his sunglasses to look into his eyes. I smiled at the brightness of his red orbs, his lips twisting into a crooked grin as he kissed the tip of my nose. "I love you," I whispered, pressing my lips chastely to his as he brought our entwined fingers up to stroke my cheek.

"Every single day of forever," he vowed breathlessly to me.

And I knew it was time.

I looked up to see my father conversing with Carlisle and Esme, his eyes breaking to me and Edward with every other word spoken. I smiled widely at him, unashamed that he had surely witnessed the love Edward and I had such a terrible time suppressing.

We walked toward our parents, Edward's large hand rubbing soothing circles on my lower back. "So, this is it," my voice wavered, tears brimming in my eyes and my heart positively beating out of my chest.

I looked to Carlisle and Esme, who were gazing at me with such love and steady resolve that it took my breath away. I knew what they were trying to convey through their unwavering stare. They loved me, they knew it would be hard, but each one of us couldn't deny where I belonged.

I nodded to them and smiled so widely my face ached, excitement and loss pooling together in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know it was possible to feel such contradictive emotions at once, but for as much pain and exuberance this experience simultaneously caused me - I had also never felt more alive.

I looked at my father who had genuine happiness written all over his face. For me. He was the best dad anyone could ever ask for. Carlisle needlessly cleared his throat before extending his hand. "Charlie, please know that while Bella is with my family, she will be protected and cared for. I give you my word." His sincere golden eyes burned into my father's, leaving no room for doubt.

"I appreciate that, Carlisle. There's no one I trust my daughter with more than you and Esme. I know she loves you both."

Edward's hand tightened around my waist as he pressed a soft kiss to my temple.

Esme took Charlie's hand. "We love her too, Charlie, just as if she were our own." The emotion in her voice was obviously taking it's toll on my father, and I couldn't help but chuckle as he began pulling awkwardly on the collar of his shirt.

"We'll just wait outside while you say goodbye," Carlisle spoke softly. He squeezed my hand as he walked by, winking at me in reassurance. Esme kissed my cheek and whispered that she loved me before they disappeared out the front door.

"I'll be right outside, beloved," Edward murmured as his fingers slid beneath my hair and his thumb drew soft circles across my cheekbone. My eyes widened in anxiety but he shook his head minutely. "You need this, Bella. I won't leave you…but take this moment to say goodbye to your father." I nodded and he kissed my forehead, whispering his love for me before pulling away.

My father looked at him with mischief in his eyes. "What's up with the sunglasses, Edward? It's not very bright in here."

Edward chuckled, his perfect white teeth exposed as he extended his hand to my father. "Oh I don't know, Chief. It seems as though all the cool kids are doing it these days."

Charlie shook his hand firmly and clapped his back. "If you say so, son." The mood turned serious as he folded his arms over his chest. "You love my daughter, Edward?"

My vampire was silent as I watched him struggle to put what we had into words. "Yes sir, I love her. More than words are capable of expressing." I reached out to take Edward's hand and he smiled softly back at me, giving it a squeeze.

"When did you get so happy, Bella?" my father asked quietly.

I shook my head, wiping my tears as I chuckled through them. "He's…the other part of me, Daddy. As long as Edward is by my side, you'll never have to worry about me. Ever, okay?"

I released Edward's hand and faintly registered him walking away as I strode to my father, wrapping my arm tightly around his neck as he embraced me. "I love you, Dad. I'm so lucky to have you as a father."

"Hey…Bella…" he pulled back, searching my watering eyes. "I'll see you when you get back, kiddo, don't look so bummed out."

"I'm not bummed, I'll just miss you while I'm gone," I whispered softly.

My father pulled me in for a hug once more, kissing the top of my head. "Promise me something, Nemo?"

I nodded, sniffing back the tears.

"Promise you'll tell me everything," he continued, running his hand down my back. "Everything you get to see and do while you're gone…I want to hear about it."

I nodded, pushing my face into his shoulder as I inhaled the woodsy scent of his shirt for what would be the last time. "I promise, Daddy. I promise."

We hugged for several moments longer as I shut my eyes and memorized everything about this moment and the best father I had ever known. "I'm not gonna worry about you while you're gone, Bella. It's pretty obvious that as long as you and Edward are together, you'll be just fine."

I nodded against his shoulder, hugging him so hard my muscles ached. "One day…one day I promise you'll understand," I whispered so softly, I didn't know if he even registered my voice.

Slowly we pulled apart, and he rested his hand on my shoulder as he walked me to the door. I noticed my suitcases were gone, and there was nothing left to do but leave this human life behind me. A life I surely didn't belong in, but had a hell of a time visiting up until now. "Dad, can you tell Jake I love him?" I asked softly, pleading with my steady gaze.

Charlie's eyebrows furrowed, but he nodded. "Yeah, I can do that for you, kid. I noticed there was some tension between you two at dinner the other night. You guys in a fight or something?"

I nodded, fingering the locket that hung around my neck. "It's nothing we can't work out," I regretfully lied.

Charlie opened the door for me and I saw Edward leaning against the wooden beam of the front porch, my chest lurching at the sight of him. I hoped that feeling would never go away, even if it were a million years from now.

One more hug.

One more I love you.

And I let my father go for the last time.

I leaned on Edward as we walked to the vehicle, my breaths coming out in wracking heaves as I struggled not to break down in front of Charlie.

"Remember, Bella, I want you to tell me everything."

"I love you, Dad," I called, unable to turn around and look him in the eyes, knowing that in several hours time his world would be destroyed because I loved my vampire so fucking much.

No. I would never regret this. And I fucking meant it when I said he'd one day understand. I had to have faith that he would.

"Love you too, honey. Have a safe flight," my father murmured before I heard the door close behind me.

Edward scooped me up as I crumbled where I stood, his solid body holding me together while I fell apart entirely. I was hysterical as I fisted Edward's shirt in my hands, wailing for the father I'd never see again, the human life I was forever abandoning, and the agony I was inflicting upon the loved ones of my past. "Edward, Edward," I stuttered, gasping between breaths as I instantly began hyperventilating.

He pulled me tighter against his body as he held me bridal style, shushing me as he murmured into my hair. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so fucking sorry. I love you, I promise everything will be all right."

"I know," I sobbed uncontrollably. "But he's my…" I broke down again as Edward slid us into the backseat of the car.

"I know, beloved. I know what he means to you. I'm so sorry, love…"

I mourned my father as Edward surrounded my entire body, reminding me why this was happening and not letting me forget that there was never any other way.

He was right, and I welcomed our destined path with open arms, despite the agony it sent spiraling painfully through my body.

But as our car traveled toward an airplane we would never get on, I breathed in every ounce of pain and remorse over breaking my father's heart, and held onto that one simple hope that he would survive losing his only daughter.

I stared blankly out the car window, the woods nothing but a blur as Carlisle sped further away. I let my tears flow freely as I prayed for my father to be strong without me, and begged any higher power that would listen to let him live a happy and healthy life, even without me there to witness it.

**-x-x-**

*****EPOV*****

"Carlisle…"

"She'll be fine, Edward. Just don't let her go."

I felt my jaw clenching tightly as I pulled Bella further against my body. As if I'd ever fucking let her go.

My frozen heart was ripping into a million pieces as I watched her fall apart. For a moment I was certain I had somehow obtained Jasper's gift, because I _felt _my human girl. Every heart-wrenching sob, every ounce of anguish…it was my own heartache to endure.

Chief Swan was a good man. He loved his daughter more than anything, accepted our relationship when most fathers would take the gruff and intimidating approach. Charlie was mature enough to accept things when he saw them, and he wasn't even going to attempt to deny what Bella and I were. There was sadness in him, as he silently passed his only daughter over to me without a word spoken, but his sorrow was quickly overshadowed by the pure joy Bella exuded when we were together. He was so perceptive, and wasn't one to sweep things under the rug when they weren't to his liking.

He knew something was different in the air around him, as Bella tearfully said her goodbyes. He internally reminded himself that he was just overreacting, but every so often a flitting thought that this would be the last time he saw her kept passing through his thoughts. He chastised himself for even thinking that way, his mind running a mile a minute as he fought to dismiss it.

Finally he deduced that this feeling of dread meant that something might happen to him. _I'm the old one_, he had reasoned. _I'm the one who has lived a fuller life, not Bella. _When he smiled and pulled her in for a tight hug, he conceded to his worried mind with one final thought. _If something happens to me, I'll never have to worry about Bella. She has the Cullens, she'll make it through. I'm probably just being paranoid anyway._

In my unending number of years, I had grown to detest the majority of the human race. So many vile thoughts, nearly all of them selfish and even cruel at times. But then there were those rare instances when the good outshined the bad, the noble was stronger than the perverse. Charlie was an honorable man…a man that I would forever be indebted to.

His understanding of my love for his daughter was what ultimately allowed me to keep her forever. True, we would have left together whether Charlie was supportive of us or not, but the fact that we were taking our leave on such good terms would make the separation much easier for Bella to endure.

Even if at the present, it felt like her whole world was falling apart.

I watched her intently as she shook in my arms, despondent eyes gazing out the window as she pushed tighter against my body. I softly reminded her of how much I loved her, and recounted how glorious our life would be, now that we had been given the gift of forever.

She didn't say a word to me, but judging by the way her body relaxed as I whispered my words, I knew they were calming her infinitesimally. There was nothing more I could do for her, and I knew she needed this time to mourn her father. I simply continued to hold her, soothing her in every way I knew how.

The car was dead silent as we continued on the path to our new life. Carlisle was lost in thoughts that he didn't necessarily want me to hear, and as I met his eyes in the rearview mirror, he internally began to explain himself. _Son, you know how thoroughly I believe Bella belongs with us. She is quite frankly the final piece of our family that has been missing for so long. When you hear the sadness lacing my thoughts, please understand that I'm regretful of Charlie's pain, not of the fact that we're taking Bella as our own. I don't know what I would do if I lost any of my daughters, including Bella, and the fact that we're taking away Charlie's only child, despite our justification, pains me deeply. Please tell me you understand, Edward. We're blessed to have Bella, but It would be cruel not to feel regretful over what we're so blatantly taking from Charlie. _

I swallowed thickly, nodding my head as Carlisle held my gaze through the glass. "I understand, Carlisle."

Esme turned and studied me carefully; it was almost as if she knew exactly what Carlisle and I had been silently communicating. _I'm so happy she's a part of us now, Edward, but my heart simply aches for Charlie._

I took Esme's hand and squeezed, smiling at her sadly. "I know."

Slowly Bella lifted her head from my shoulder, eyes red and puffy as she smiled tiredly, kissing my lips. It was as if she sensed every single word that went unspoken between our family and I. "Carlisle, Esme, thank you for this. For as sad as I am about leaving Charlie, I've got so much else going on inside me. Most of it is a general sense of belonging and a whole lot of excitement. I love both of you, and don't feel bad about taking my life or whatever; I wasn't living much of a life before your family came into my world, anyway."

I smiled widely and pressed my lips to her temple, her words only further proving that she irrevocably belonged with each one of us. It seemed as though she knew exactly what to say to ease Carlisle and Esme's pain and regret.

Esme glanced at her mate, both their smiles wry as Carlisle looked back at Bella through the rear view mirror. "I won't deny that I feel a great sadness for your father and what he has lost, Bella, but I no longer feel any guilt whatsoever over ending your young life. I think, for as much as the eight of us have discussed your transformation in the past months, that denying how badly we all need you in our family would be doing you a great disservice. We are your home now, Bella…and you are ours."

She nodded, laughing through her tears as she wiped her face. "Yeah, you're pretty much stuck with me now."

"And vice versa," Esme added, reaching back to take Bella's hand. I watched in quiet awe as they gazed at each other, engaged in a silent conversation that no one else could truly understand. It still amazed me how close they had become while I spent my days in Alaska attempting to heal Victoria. My stomach twisted with regret that maybe I hadn't expressed to Esme how much it meant to me that she kept my Bella safe when our distance was threatening to destroy her. Esme was her friend, her mother, and her confidante…how could I possibly begin to explain how grateful I was?

"I love you, Esme."

I said it without thinking, without a single hesitation and before I even registered that the words had poured from my mouth. Everything seemed to stop. Because I had only ever said those words to Bella, and once to Carlisle after he had broken down my walls after our brush with James. If I truly thought about how many times over the years Esme had reminded me that she loved me, to realize how important I was to her and our family, it made my head spin. She was a mother, pure and simple, and I was the ungrateful brat who never gave back an ounce of the compassion she so steadily brought upon me. What a cad I had been.

She gazed back at me with eyes full of emotion, her trembling hand coming to rest against her throat as she stared at me in surprise. If she were capable of producing tears I knew they would be sliding down her cheeks. "I know, Edward. I've always known, even when you couldn't say it. I love you too, son."

And suddenly things were so overwhelming in the tiny confines of this car that I could barely think, could barely breathe. Bella hugging me tightly, my adoptive parents gazing back at us with love and approval. Sorrow and pain mixed with love and a brand new hope of forever, and it was fucking stifling.

And beautiful.

I understood now why Alice and Jasper chose to run to Wyoming with Rosalie and Emmett. The atmosphere around us would have driven Jasper mad. But still, as much as I constantly needed Bella alone with me, I couldn't help but acknowledge a new feeling. One where I needed all of us to be together as well. One that confirmed to me that I was ready to join my family officially, one that told me I wouldn't have to experience solitude or depression another moment in my long and now bright existence.

Bella wasn't the only one to gain a new beginning, and as I let the overwhelming emotions flood through me, I decided that maybe belonging somewhere, belonging to a life that was initially created for death and mayhem, wasn't so bad after all. Especially when you had the power to take the desolation of vampirism and turn it into a love that few would ever come to know.

Maybe it was a secret form of Heaven that only the blessed could obtain…or maybe Isabella Marie Swan _was_ that Heaven.

**-x-x-**

We pulled up next to Emmett's abandoned jeep as we parked in the tiny parking lot of the even tinier Forks Airport. You could barely even call it an airport, which served our purpose even more so. Less people, less questions. I truly didn't care, I just wanted this part to be over with. Jenks was nothing if not thorough, meeting us before we could even get out of the car.

As Carlisle and Esme conversed with Jenks, I tucked Bella into my side, shielding her from the sharp wind that blew across the open parking lot. "Cold, baby?"

She shook her head, smiling softly. "No, I'm good." She paused as she slid her palm across my cheek. "I'll be fine, Edward, I promise." It was obvious to me that she was no longer talking about the wind.

I gazed at her for a long moment before leaning down to capture her lips with mine. She moaned and leaned into me, dragging her teeth along my bottom lip before her tongue came to tangle with mine. I chuckled; it never ceased to amaze me how swept up we could get in one another, despite where we were.

"What's funny?" she glared at me playfully.

I shook my head, bringing her hand to my lips and kissing her knuckles. I watched her carefully from beneath my lashes as I slid her ring off of her right hand for what would be the last time, replacing it on her left ring finger as my chest swelled with pride and an unending amount of love.

I leaned down and swept her lips against mine, pressing my forehead against hers. "Don't ever take it off again, beloved. Never again…"

We lost ourselves to one another, incognizant to the fact that there was anything else in this world but us. "I love you baby…I really can't wait for you to do dirty things to me," Bella sighed happily.

I removed her hand from around my neck and slid it down my body, pressing it against the bulge in my pants before releasing her. "Soon."

When I looked up again, Jenks was nowhere to be found and Carlisle and Esme were walking toward us. "So what's the game plan?" Bella asked with a sigh.

"Apparently we're getting on the plane."

"We're getting on the plane?" I questioned.

"Jenks' pilot will be dropping us off at a remote location where a car will be waiting for us. We'll go from there," Carlisle informed us.

"Don't planes have those box things so that when they crash, people can go back and see what went wrong?" Bella asked him.

Carlisle smiled wryly. "Don't worry, sweetheart. If there's one thing I've learned in the years I've been dealing with the Jenks family, not a single detail will be missed. He has assured me that we will disappear undetected, and I have no doubt in my mind that he'll deliver. He seems rather afraid of me…I wonder why that is exactly?" Carlisle flashed his teeth and grinned, tugging on a strand of Bella's hair playfully before walking to the trunk and unloading the luggage.

Bella looked at me and chuckled, shaking her head. "He's so badass." I slapped her ass, causing her to yelp as she continued. "What? You are too, I'm just saying!"

"Uh-huh," I nodded skeptically, looking at her from the corner of my eyes. I groaned as she jumped into my arms and attacked my mouth.

"Maybe you could hunt for me again, baby…you know, give me a little reminder of just how deviant a vampire you are?"

"I'll hunt for you," I murmured, my hands sliding down until they were cupping her ass. "And when you're changed, you're going to hunt for me."

She nodded, biting her lip as her eyes became hooded. No sooner was I about to take her up against yet another car, when she let out a huge yawn. I suddenly realized that she had barely slept at all in our past two nights together.

"Shit, Bella. I need to start letting you get some rest."

She rolled her eyes at me, kissing me chastely. "Soon you won't have to."

"I want you to sleep for the duration of our trip, Isabella. I need you alert when we arrive at our new home," I growled.

She hummed and sucked my earlobe into her mouth. "Ooh, is that an order?"

"It's an order," I murmured, squeezing her ass harder before we sunk into yet another heated kiss.

She sighed forlornly against my skin as we parted, choking back a sob as her eyes met mine. Her dark brown depths were swimming in unshed tears, and her pain was so palpable inside my body, it nearly broke me as well. I knew she hated feeling so vulnerable when who she was as a person was anything but. "What can I do, beautiful girl?" I questioned softly, kissing her jaw as she leaned into my embrace.

"You're doing it. Just stay with me, that's all I need," she smiled sadly. "I'm all jumbled up right now, Edward. I think about Charlie and I get so sad…and then I think about you and I'm thrilled, you know? So apparently my emotions are going to be all over the fucking place for awhile."

"That's natural, Bella. This is a lot for you to take in all at once."

"_You're _a lot for me to take in all at once," she purred suggestively. She winked at me before pulling me back down for another taste, squealing as I lifted her completely off the ground and kissed her madly.

My God, I loved this girl.

We tore our mouths from one another long enough to realize that the rest of the family had joined Carlisle and Esme while Bella and I were consumed with one another. I regretfully slid Bella down my body and took her hand as we walked over to join them. "I thought you'd be long gone by now," I said to Alice.

She shook her head. "Nope, I saw that Jenks would be having us get on the plane after all, so we grabbed a bite to eat while we were waiting for you!" she smiled.

Alice then proceeded to steal my human girl away from me and hug her tightly. "Oh Bella…I just love you," she sighed.

My heart clenched painfully as I turned to the others. "Well, is it time?"

Emmett beamed at me and nodded heartily as Rosalie rubbed at a spot of blood on Emmett's sweatshirt. "I'm as ready as I'll ever be," she mumbled, trying to hide the slight smile on her lips.

"You know we're all ready for this, Edward." Jasper clapped my back and took deep breaths; by now I knew it was one of his coping mechanisms for dealing with the emotions that Bella and I brought upon him.

"I'm sorry, Jazz," I murmured sincerely. "I truly am."

He smiled widely. "No worries, my brother. Alice informed me that it was a lot more intense earlier. This I can definitely handle."

I nodded, meeting everyone's eyes briefly before we headed toward the small, unmarked plane that would ultimately be sealing our fate. Bella tucked her self into my side, burying her face in my shoulder. I quickly assumed she had started crying again, but when she looked up to meet my eyes, she was smiling brightly. "Are you ready to go home, baby?" she whispered lovingly.

I ran my thumb along her bottom lip, my eyes burning into hers as she beamed up at me.

"I'm already home, beloved."

**X**

**x**

**x**

**-x-x-**

**Awwww…so now what's going to happen? Hopefully you won't have to wait long to find out! :)**

**Big props to my superstar beta Isabel…I'm nothing without you chica! And of course to mah twin, lazykate, for prereading and giving her very important seal of approval. Love you, you dirty Pfach hoor!**

**Speaking of love….I'd like all my readers to get in a single file line for some boobie gropes and french kisses, because you guys are amazing, for the following reasons:**

**-You're patient with my slow ass.**

**-You leave me fuckawesome reviews.**

**-You pimp me and I like it. **

**-You support me and my writing.**

**So yeah, you guys are the shizz! I'd love it if you could leave me a review! I'm curious as to what you thought about this chappie…thanks for your feedback! **

**Follow me on twitter, Brits23, and I'll see you next time around! :)**


	24. Something More

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**~xxx~**

*****BPOV*****

I pretty much passed out the minute I was settled into the small private plane.

The emotional turmoil I endured while abandoning my human life forever, mixed in with my blatant disregard for sleep over the past two days more than likely had something to do with it. I vaguely remembered being removed from the plane and deposited into the new-car-scented vehicle, but that was the extent of it before I was dragged beneath the veil of unconsciousness once more.

My dreams were nothing short of magnificent, filled with visions of my vampire and of a life I had been destined to find. I dreamt of running faster than Edward, of leaping over bodies of water with no effort whatsoever. In my dreams Edward had slammed me against a tree so violently it toppled to the ground behind us, where he took me with reckless abandon on top of it. Fast, hard, fervent, desperate…I even remembered my dream-self making a mental note that the sleeping me must have been producing some embarrassingly wanton noises as I occupied the car bringing us to our new home.

This knowledge only encouraged dream-Bella, who was screaming like a wild banshee as dream-Edward pounded her mercilessly into the splintering tree behind her.

When I finally blinked my eyes open, only to find Edward's darkened onyx fixed upon me, I could tell that dream-Bella had been right. "So the question is, do I remain unashamed for the blatant sex noises I was no doubt making in my sleep, or do I blush and bury my face into your neck in embarrassment?"

Edward smiled wickedly, pulling me tighter against his body. "What exactly was I doing to you?"

"I'll tell you later," I murmured, yawning widely as I kissed his throat and inhaled his scent greedily.

"I think you've stunned Emmett into silence…I didn't know such a feat was possible," Edward whispered into my hair.

"What the hell do you expect when she's whore-moaning like some sort of porn star on crack?" Rosalie growled from the front passenger seat.

I grumbled, snuggling closer to my vamp boy. "Whatever, Rosalie. I could so kick your ass in a whore-moaning contest, my porn-fu is strong."

Emmett finally found his voice, the steering wheel bending in his grip. "I'm completely on board with a whore-moaning competition; Edward and I will arbitrate." I looked up to see my vamp boy rolling his eyes at his brother in the rear view mirror, but smirking in amusement.

I loved seeing him so happy.

I sat up and squinted, looking around the car in a state of confusion. "Weren't Carlisle and Esme going to be the ones accompanying us in the car?"

Emmett smiled, turning to wink at me wryly before focusing on the road. "They decided to run with Alice and Jasper, luckily enough for me."

Rosalie twisted Emmett's right nipple through his shirt viciously, hard enough to induce a womanly-shriek from the burly vampire. His pansy-ass reaction and the look of sheer pain on his face made Rosalie and Edward chuckle.

"Fuckers," Emmett mumbled, rubbing his abused nip with a sheepish grin on his face.

"Call me a fucker again, Emmett Cullen, and I'll snap it right off next time," Rosalie smirked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"So violent," I murmured, running my fingers lazily through Edward's hair. "I sure hope she's talking about his nipple."

"Don't even feel sorry for him, Bella. I couldn't have done _that_ much damage to such a big strong man, isn't that right handsome?" Rosalie pinched Emmett's cheek as she drifted off in antagonizing baby-talk.

Emmett continued rubbing chest, pouting unabashedly. "Feel sorry for me, B. My woman is freakishly strong, even for a vampire." He winked at Rosalie, murmuring something about nipple-clamps and a ball-gag before resting his hand on her thigh. Apparently they thought they were talking too softly and quickly for me to detect, but unfortunately I was subjected to every sordid and downright _kinky_ word they spoke.

Their playful banter interlaced with underlying sexual - _and bondage? _- type innuendos quickly faded into the background as I met Edward's heated stare. He leaned down and pressed his lips gently to mine. "How are you feeling?"

"Good," I nodded. "Really excited actually, I can't wait to defile our new bedroom."

Edward smiled deviously. "That's certainly something to look forward to. I'm anxious to see what you think of the cabin, as well as the land surrounding it."

"It's going to be completely extravagant and breathtaking, right?" I smirked, my brow furrowing slightly as a sharp pain shot through my abdomen, accompanied by an errant thought of my father. I pushed my hand against my stomach, while Edward's hand quickly slipped beneath my shirt.

"Ah, cold," I murmured, resting my hand against his above my sweatshirt. "Feels good though."

"It's rather extraordinary, beloved, you're correct. Carter Mountain and the Absakora range set the backdrop behind the expansive cabin. We own roughly 4,000 acres, close enough to Cody, Wyoming in case of emergency, but far enough away that when you are a newborn, you'll be safe from temptation. There are three additional ranch homes on the property, for privacy purposes, the Meeteeetse Creek cuts directly through our property, and the wildlife is plentiful, anywhere from elk, antelope, mule deer, bear…"

"Shut up, you're making me hungry, man," Emmett grumbled from the driver's seat.

I smiled when Edward rolled his eyes at his brother once again, his fingers making soothing passes across my belly button as he continued. "The main home itself sits on a bluff overlooking the creek valley. The sun will be plentiful but we are so far from civilization that our…_iridescence_ won't be a problem in the slightest. There's a barn for horses, as well as an extensive grazing area for cattle - "

"Yeah, Bella, that's our version of fast food," Emmett snickered.

Edward smirked at Emmett's comment but shook his head in exasperation. "As I was saying, there is a barn for horses and a grazing area for cattle…but I certainly have no intention of becoming a vampire rancher anytime soon, so livestock is simply out of the question. I think I've covered everything, now what's going on here?" He gazed at me in concern, his hand covering my entire stomach. "What hurts, baby?"

As if on cue, my insides twisted sharply in anxiety once more. I was trying not to think about what I had left behind in Forks, especially my dad, but his memory seemed to be assaulting me like a knife to the gut every so often. "It's nothing major...all of a sudden Charlie will pop into my mind and it feels like I'm getting stabbed or something. I'm really excited to be in the middle of nowhere with you, Edward. I need time to think, time to process everything and to just _breathe_. I need the quiet now more than ever, so I can sort out the mess of crap that's running through my mind."

"I think you'll find the peace of mind you're searching for, beloved," he murmured against my jaw, his lips sliding down the column of my throat until they drifted along my collar bone. "In fact, I believe you'll find a lot of things you've been searching for."

I wrapped my good arm around his neck, humming in contentment. "I can't wait to play vampire with you, baby."

A rumbling growl formed deep in his chest, his fingers flexing against my flesh as he shifted me closer. "We won't have to _play_ for long," he whispered softly.

I moaned as his large hands flanked my sides, sliding down until he was clutching my ass forcefully in his grasp. I squealed as he lifted me and set me in his lap faster than I could process, his eyes deep and blood-red as he gazed hungrily at me. I lowered my mouth to his ear, biting his earlobe with all my might, wishing he could feel more of my strength. "I'm going to suck your blood Edward, and then I'm going to fuck you. I think I'll be the ravenous vampire for a change, and you'll be the sarcastic, fragile human. What do you think?" I purred quietly into his ear.

"Mmmm…I think the last time I attempted a submissive role, I failed miserably. But I'm certainly willing to try again, beautiful girl."

"We're here," Rosalie barked flatly, snapping me away from my vampire and all his dirty promises.

He kissed my temple softly three times, pulling me to him tightly. "I love you, Bella. I'm going to do whatever it takes to make this transition as easy as possible for you."

I looked into his eyes for a long moment, my heart clenching at the sincerity in his voice and the promise in his gaze. "I love you too," I whispered, kissing him softly. "I'll miss my dad, but I need _you_ to survive. I promise I'll be okay, baby." I pressed my palm flat against his cheek and he leaned into me, letting his eyes drift close as he exhaled languidly. "Edward, I promise…"

He turned his face without opening his eyes and pressed a soft kiss to my open palm. "Then that's all I need to know, beloved."

I cursed as I struggled to get out of the car, the awkwardness of my stupid cast making even the simplest of tasks difficult. With a grumble I freed myself from the sling, letting my arm hang loosely at my side. I felt a few pangs of pain shoot down the outside of my arm, but otherwise it was tolerable.

Edward looked at me disapprovingly. "Should I even bother attempting to make you put that back on?"

I shook my head. "I'm sick of this fucking thing, vamp boy. It's driving me insane."

His fingers drifted along the cold plaster, examining it carefully. "It was an extensive injury…you shouldn't be healing so quickly."

"Maybe your venom still has the power to heal, but not the power to create sadistic monsters," Rosalie grumbled as she strolled past us, breaking out into a run seconds later.

**~xxx~**

*****EPOV*****

I tilted my head and thought carefully about Rosalie's sharply spoken words.

My tongue across Bella's bite wound had the power to seal it, maybe Rosalie wasn't that far off in her assessment. Carlisle and I had yet to discuss many things when it came to Bella and me. The past several weeks had been a whirl wind, and I had been reluctant to leave her side, what with her injury and Jacob's reaction to the fact that she would one day become like me. When I saw Carlisle though, all he would do was look into my eyes. The red eyes of a killer were now the reverent eyes of a lover…the eyes of a being that belonged solely to the source of his sustenance. Everything about Bella and I had changed a longstanding view of what we were as a species. Most of the time he looked at me with a grand sense of pride…but other times, there was fear. He tried to keep his thoughts hidden until we could actively discuss the evolution of Bella and I, especially how I had been consuming her blood so frequently as of late.

I had known Carlisle long enough to recognize his concerns. I was taking too much blood, we were being careless, and just because my venom had been sterile all this time didn't mean that something could change. His trepidation was valid, and I knew that, but he had to know that I would _never_ hurt Bella. I would never drink so much from her that it had the potential to end her life. Her safety had me exuding more discipline than I had ever known I was capable of.

I felt her need for my teeth in her skin escalating. She asked for it so often now, and I rarely denied her. Partly because I needed it just as badly, because I knew we wouldn't always have that experience, and because it was just so fucking impossible to deny my human girl. But more than that, I felt as though I were attempting to make up for everything I was taking away from her. Time and again she had assured me that this was what she wanted, and I believed her, but denying her of something that felt so perfect for us just seemed cruel. It wasn't going to hurt her, and if for some miraculous reason my venom began to induce a change in her body from human to immortal, then we would let it happen. It was inevitable that she would become one of us anyway; I knew that Bella and I would welcome it.

Even so, with everything that had been taking place in such a short amount of time, we had neglected to discuss that next step. The amount of blood I had recently been taking from her was satisfying for both of us, but it still needed to be addressed. Why did she need it so often? And why did I constantly find my teeth in her body whenever she said the word? As I looked out into the open expanse of earth, nothing but plains and offset mountains and peace, I knew we would have our time now to sort things out, and decide where to go from here.

I felt Bella shiver beside me and reacted without thinking, removing my coat and wrapping it around her shoulders. "Let's get you inside," I murmured, kissing the top of her head.

"No," she whispered eagerly, pulling her sweatshirt hood over her head. "the cold air feels nice. Let's look around for a little while before we join the others." She smiled up at me so brightly, pain outlining the dark brown orbs that I continually found myself lost in. I hated the fact that the descent into our eternity had to be so bittersweet for her.

I held her at my side as we walked, fingers stroking along the side of her neck as she leaned into me, silently taking in the land around her that would be the birthplace of her vampirism. Every so often she would giggle and then bounce in excitement, and we felt so right here together, surrounded by nothing but nature and us. Even though the events leading up to this moment weren't planned, I knew this was the way it had to be.

"I want to learn everything at once, Edward," she whispered once we reached the edge of a bluff overlooking miles of flatland.

I pulled her tighter against me and looked down. "Tell me what you mean, Bella."

She shook her head, struggling to find the words to explain herself. "I mean…I feel liberated here. I want to read every book, learn about who I really am as a person, memorize my new body until I'm comfortable in it. I want to spend every second I can tangled up with you, screaming your name and crying in the sake of our intimacy…and yet I want to run so far, I want to feel the wind pushing against my skin and the muscles in my legs burning in exertion. I want so much, Edward, all at once."

I gaped at her. Words failed me. She was talking as if she had already been changed, had already experienced the need to have _everything_ at the same time. Even though we were given forever in this existence, the need to do everything _now_ has the power to overwhelm any one of us. Most newborns didn't have the ability to revel in this newfound need for everything, because the call for blood was far stronger than that. Blood was the sun, the earth at your feet, the wind that propelled you and the world that contained you.

I had only been around a handful of newborns in my life, but it was fascinating to crawl inside their minds and experience their beginnings as a vampire…and to realize just how different they were from me.

Blood was a meager pull in the back of my throat, a reminder that I needed it in order to survive. But it didn't own me, nothing did, until…

"What is it?" she whispered gently, fingertips drifting along my jaw as she stared up at me with so much love and admiration.

"How can you feel this way when blood is still pumping through your veins, beloved? I'll never understand how it's possible for you to be so incredibly destined for my world." I spoke breathlessly, enamored by my not-so-human girl and all that she would be capable of once she was turned.

She would have a gift, I was convinced of that fact. Whatever her talent would be, I had no doubt that it would be magnificent.

"I don't know, Edward. Just being here…I can barely remember anything I've left behind. Already it's blurry. I love Charlie, I miss him and he's in my memories as my loving father, but here, right now…I'm my own person, you are my mate, and the people waiting for us back at the house…they are my family. I can't explain it…I feel so differently already."

I moved to stand behind her, linking our fingers together as my lips rested at her temple. "Look out there, love…tell me what you see."

She closed her eyes and listened, lips parted as the cool wind whipped around us. "Snow…a light dusting. I think there should be more this time of year but I can't be sure. The land goes on until it runs into the creek, past that, the mountains. There…" She opened her eyes, bringing our linked hands out in front of her as she pointed below. Two deer running around the bend, into the small gathering of trees there. I felt that, why did I feel that?"

I swallowed thickly, pulling her back against my body until she relaxed completely. "Come, beloved. Let's go home."

**~xxx~**

*****BPOV*****

I loved the quiet.

For several contemplative minutes I lost myself in the recesses of my mind as I gazed out the window, watching the thick flakes of snow drift to the ground. My chest ached. Edward had left me to go for a hunt with his brothers and to familiarize himself with the lay of the land once more.

I closed my eyes and briefly imagined what Charlie was doing at that moment. By now he was well aware that I no longer existed. I shook the thought from my mind and focused on the bigger picture. My death was inevitable. Charlie was sacrificing his daughter in the sake of her own happiness. I was absolutely positive that if he knew just what he was giving me by letting me go, he would happily do it. But still, his pain was like a constant hum in the back of my mind.

Fuck, why did I feel so different now?

It wasn't a bad thing, far from it in fact. I just felt…alive, acute to my surroundings and itching for more. It was so hard to explain.

"Bella?"

I turned to smile at Carlisle warmly as he set a cup of coffee down beside me. "Are you certain you want all that creamer, sweetheart?" he chuckled.

I crooked my head to the side. "Worried about my health?"

"I worry about all my children." He became serious and I sighed in return.

He didn't need to say anything, because I knew what he wanted to talk about. "I'm going to be fine," I promised.

He smiled, nodding his head. "I have no doubt about that, Bella. Everything has changed so rapidly, I'm just anxious to know how you're holding up. This has been a big day for you…for all of us."

"I feel like a completely different person, just being here with all of you. But at the same time it's all wrong, too."

His eyes widened in alarm and I chuckled at him. "No, I mean…okay first of all, this freaking cast! My arm aches, but it doesn't hurt and I'm so over it and I want it gone, like, _yesterday_. Secondly, I have never been more a part of this family than I am right now. I fit here…you know it, I know it; hell, even Rosalie knows it. But me sitting here, in this moment, needing sleep and food and being continually trapped in this weak body…it's not right. You know it's not right."

Carlisle sighed. "We would take you in any means possible, Bella. You were meant to be with this family."

"I know, Carlisle, but not like this."

He gazed at me a long moment, golden eyes contemplative but alight with something more. Wordlessly he arose from his seat, rummaging through a cabinet beside the door before he returned with a plastic case. He took out a small saw, sliding his seat closer to me and gesturing for the arm covered in plaster. "You shouldn't be this far along in the healing process, Bella."

"Yeah well…I'm chock full of venom," I grinned teasingly.

Carlisle didn't return my jest.

"I realize that. Edward's eyes have been pure red for days now."

I sighed, looking him directly in the eyes. "Defective venom, remember?"

He shook his head. "Sometimes I'm not entirely convinced of Edward's defectiveness, Bella."

Neither was I. His venom made me feel different; it had since the moment the pure lightning started forming in my veins when he tasted me. It didn't happen automatically, but once I started begging him to take more and more…I lived for that pain and life he fed me by feeding _on _me. With its frequency came my need for even more, my need for the fire that mingled with my blood and the icy sting that enraptured my body. It hurt, and I knew his venom in my bloodstream was doing something more to me than I could explain. Deep down I'd known it all along, and I secretly begged any higher power that would listen for its strength to kick in. I was ready for his venom to have a more potent effect on my body; I needed it to be strong enough to make me his vampire.

For nearly a month now he had drunk from me every day. Every single day. And with every pull of crimson he took from my body, it felt like it was working up to something bigger, something monumental. I wanted him to take as much as he safely could, to inject me with his smooth, smoldering venom until I was screaming from the inside out and transforming into the creature that _he_ was. I wanted it…and now more than ever, I felt like I had the power to get it.

"I'm not convinced either," I spoke louder over the hum of Carlisle's saw, eager to be free from the cast that had me bound. "At least, that's what I'm hoping for."

"Was this your plan all along?" he questioned.

I shook my head. "Not a plan at all, really. Just wishful thinking, more than anything."

He remained silent until the plaster was cut entirely down the side of my arm. With a crack, he broke it apart in two solid pieces, effectively freeing me from it's clutches. My arm ached dully but I was thrilled to have the monstrosity off my body. "How does it feel?" Carlisle questioned.

"It feels perfect," I smiled.

He grinned slightly in return, but as his cold fingers gently examined my recently freed arm, he began to speak in a very business-like tone. "I've conducted numerous experiments on Edward's venom over the years. None of the results have been conclusive, but you should know better than anyone. You're far more familiar with his venom than anyone else ever could be. So why don't you tell me…what _does_ his venom have the power to do to you?"

"He has the power to do whatever he wants, Carlisle," I whispered intensely. "I feel like I'm so close to something…I just need more."

"And what if it's too much?"

I shrugged. "You won't be far from us until it finally happens, right? I can tell you're worried about how much blood he's been taking but we have you to rely on. I know you won't let anything happen to me Carlisle, and I'm so grateful for it. You're like a security blanket, our breath of fresh air. You'll protect Edward and me…even if you end up having to protect us from each other."

"What a great amount of faith you've put into me, Bella," he smiled forlornly.

"I've taken so much from you, you've sacrificed so much in order to bring me into this life. Edward and I will both spend a lifetime, or ten, attempting to make this up to you."

"What exactly have you taken from me?" he asked in surprise.

"Your profession, your home in Forks. You've been forced into hiding because of _my_ 'death.'"

He stood from his seat and discarded my cast before turning to wink at me over his shoulder. "Trust me, Bella, I've been long overdue for a vacation."

"I love it here," I said sincerely. "I need you to know that this house, this land, is so beautiful to me. Normally I'd be all snarky about the snow and the fact that we're in bum-fuck Egypt but honestly…this is everything I've dreamed of. This is where I'll start, where we'll all start."

He approached me once more and took my hand in both of his. "You don't know how pleased I am to hear that, Bella."

"The anticipation for more is killing me. I want it all _now_," I whined.

He chuckled at my petulance. "And you could have it now. I could change you at any time, but I have a feeling that you don't want to make any plans for your transformation just yet. Why would you rely on my venom to convert you when you suspect that your mate can do it in the same exact fashion?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "I do want it now but more than that, I need to give him a chance, I need to know if he's capable; I'm positive he is. It's all I want and I swear…I _swear _he can do it. I just need a little more time…and a hell of a lot more patience, but it's so incredibly important that I see this theory through, I just have to."

"And your so-called theory is that his venom is not defunct, just weak?" He lost himself in his thoughts for a moment. "So the more he puts into your body…"

"…The sooner he'll transform me. I'm hoping that's exactly it, yeah." My hands began to shake and my smile couldn't be contained. I was so eager to talk about this. For so long I had kept my wishful thinking to myself, basking in the joy I felt when Edward's venom coursed through my veins and praying for the impossible to happen some day. Wishing that one night when my vampire was buried deep inside me and his teeth broke my skin, the change would begin because of his love for me alone, and nothing else.

Carlisle scratched the back of his head. "I've always suspected that to be the most likely explanation for Edward's inability to change a human to a vampire. Even when he attempted to change Rosalie, he gave her as much venom as he could produce in one span of time. But perhaps it takes more…much, much more. For your sake, I'm hoping it's true Bella. In the beginning I was very concerned about the fact that he was drinking from you. But once the both of you made it clear just how permanent you were going to be in our lives, I stopped worrying about it so incessantly. What will be, will be. One way or the other, you will become one of us. If Edward has the power to change you, I know it will make the descent into vampirism all the more meaningful, for both of you."

Tears were forming in my eyes. "And if he can't, then it will still mean just as much. But it's like…I _need_ him to try; I want him to _want_ to try, he just needs to believe in himself enough to do it. For so long he hasn't cared about himself at all. I know that's changed since we've met but, I also know a part of that desolate vampire still remains inside him."

"He's come such a long way in a short amount of time, Bella. It's only natural that a portion of his self-doubt still lingers."

"I know," I murmured softly. "I just want him to see himself in the same light as I do. He's so amazing, everything about him is so beautiful and _right_. I wish he would realize that fact, just like the rest of us have."

"Edward has always been very special to us," Carlisle smiled reverently. "And everything you wish for, is our wish as well. Bella you need to understand how vital you have become to this family. Not only because we love you, but because you have given us our son and our brother back. He's been brought back to life and it means so incredibly much. For so many years we have missed him terribly, and we have you alone to thank for making him come alive." I snorted at his choice of words and he rolled his eyes at himself. "Well, you know what I mean. Perhaps we've never even truly known who he was as a person until now. The path to your transformation is just as exciting and important to the rest of us. It's all we've ever wanted, to be complete as a family. To be loved and happy in spite of an existence that was created for hate and destruction."

I flew into him with all my might and hugged him tightly, overwhelmed with the intensity of this moment. "We'll get there. I swear we will."

He returned my embrace, squeezing me tightly in his comforting, strong arms. "That we will, sweetheart. The boys will soon be returning from their hunt, Bella, and I think it's imperative that you discuss this with Edward. If you want him to believe in himself, you need to make it clear just how unwaveringly _you_ believe in _him_. Tell him everything you've told me, see what comes of your determination, and know this: I'm honored that you've put so much faith into me. No matter what, I will make sure that no harm comes your way. You _are_ my daughter, and it is my absolute pleasure to keep you safe…you and Edward both."

As the tears slid down my cheeks, I told yet another vampire that I loved them, because he had managed to remind me that despite everything I had left behind in Forks, I would still have a father to care for me. And he didn't do it in spite of Charlie, he protected me _because_ of him…in honor of _him_. Carlisle kept Charlie's spirit alive when I no longer had him physically in front of me, and soothed the pain in my heart from leaving him behind.

It was amazing how perfectly Carlisle was able to put everything into perspective for me. Now I knew exactly what I had to do.

My first step into forever.

**~xxx~**

*****EPOV*****

I watched her with an immense amount of amusement and adoration as she sat on our bed, cross-legged, talking so swiftly that there was barely room left for her to breathe. Her eyes were filled with excitement, her body clad in shorts and a tank top. She was brilliant sitting there before me, our knees touching as we mirrored each other's position on the bed.

I hung onto every word she spoke. Words of my worth, of what my venom had done to her ever since I let it course through her bloodstream. She confessed to me when it had started, what she had felt, and the changes that were made inside her because of what _I_ had done to her. It was awe-inspiring. On and on she went, no room for me to comment because she needed to say everything _now_. I was mesmerized as she spoke, because all I could do was look at her in this new light. Ever since she described things to me with her senses rather than her eyes, gave up her family so she could be _mine_…my God, all this time I had been anticipating her transformation, when in truth, it had already begun.

She wanted my teeth in her body because she believed that I could change her. She believed that there was nothing ineffective about me. "You're too fucking perfect to be sterile, vamp boy," she told me, twisting her fingers with mine. "I know you can change me, and I know all it will take is more of your venom. This is what's perfect about you and me and our forever; we get to take the round-a-bout way, loving each other and touching each other until one day, it's started and there's no going back. That's our prize…that's our blessing. It's got to be true, Edward. I feel it coursing through my body and pounding inside me with every beat of my heart. _We can do this_."

I closed my eyes and without processing my movements she was beneath me, my teeth tearing through the fabric of her shirt. I growled in her ear and licked the shell, grabbing the waistband of her jeans on each side and tearing them straight down the seams. "Are you telling me to keep fucking and biting you until you become like me? Is that my challenge?"

She moaned against my neck, her teeth pushing and fighting to break skin she could not yet penetrate. "Don't you feel it, Edward? Close your eyes…you know there was never any way."

I did just that, concentrating on the hum of her blood and the venom coating my teeth as she undulated against me. "I love you, Isabella," I whispered breathlessly. "And I promise you, if I am capable of turning you into my vampire, then it will be done by _my _venom, by _my_ teeth, and by _my_ fucking love for you."

"I love you too," she gasped against my skin. "I love you too, it's all I want."

I entered this world thinking I was a beast. A beast that had no desire to kill, a monster that wasn't capable of doing what he was put on this earth for. But what if that was all bullshit? What if, from the beginning of this existence, all it took was a little bit _more?_ Suddenly it was so blaringly clear. I was destined to meet a human girl that had blood specifically designed for my body. In return, my venom was designed for hers, and in the end, we had the power to bring each other _everything_.

I thought back to weeks ago, a dream my love had, and the wise words that Carlisle had spoken in that dream.

"_He is water and you are fire. He is the darkness and you are the light. He is your heart and you are his soul. He can listen to everyone but you, and he is the only thing you can hear. He is the mind and you are the body….but together you are everlasting."_

Was I the heart of the girl who couldn't decide who she truly was in this world? Was she the soul I was convinced I didn't have?

"Bella." I whispered her name as she pulled at my clothing, her newly freed arm weak but insistent on ridding me of them anyway. I made them disappear as quickly as possible, pulling her back into my embrace as she hummed in pleasure against my shoulder. "Could it honestly be possible…for every single part of us to complete the other? My heart, your soul…my venom, your blood? Could anything as destined as _us _truly exist?"

We looked at each other for minutes or hours, I couldn't be sure. Staring inside the deep brown eyes that defined everything for me, I realized that I had already found my answer. Her soft palm slid along my cheek as she beamed up at me. "Edward…that's what I've been trying to tell you all along."

With a strangled moan I aligned every inch of our bare bodies and buried myself inside her, fighting with everything I had not to break her feeble bones with my passion. Because now I knew what I was capable of…and now, I knew that there could never be any other way.

**~xxx~**

**This chap was a little shorter than usual but it was kinda transition-y, so that's why. Next time we'll delve into life on the ranch, as well as life in the bedroom, in the guest house, on the kitchen table, in the woods, against the wall...uhhhh, what was I saying again?  
**

**Oh yeah, I had writer's block for awhile, but we really don't need to talk about that! :D**

**Thanks to the usual culprits (Isabel and mah twin). Love you girls!**

**Lazykate and I have been nom'd for a Golden Lemon Award for our co-authored story, Dirty Little Secrets. We are nom'd in the "Lemon With the Pairing that Made Your Jaw Drop" category! If you have a moment, would you mind voting for us? We'd really appreciate it! :D http:/www(dot)goldenlemonawards(dot)com/**

**I'm not sure if you know this or not, but Lazykate and I are hosting a PFachWatchalong tomorrow night 8pm EST! It's going to be sooooooooo much fun! Full-body cavity searches will be administered at the door. You're all cool with that, right? I thought so. **

**For more info, you can send either one of us a DM on Twitter (Brits23 or Lazykatevamp) or you can PM us on ffnet as well! We will be watching a movie Pfach starred in entitled _Arc, _and it is readily available online for your perving…uh, I mean viewing pleasure! Here is a link to the details, as well as the rundown/summary of _Arc_. Come hang out with us tomorrow, Tuesday January 18th at 8pm EST! It will be a blast! :) Link: http:/pfachwatchalong(dot)wordpress(dot)com/2011/01/16/pfachwatchalong-arc/**

**Don't forget to follow Pfachwatchalong on Twitter as well.**

**Okay, the business portion is out of the way, so now it's my opportunity to fangirl over each and every one of you. I love you all, seriously. I can't stress it enough! Thank you a million times over for the lovin', the pimpin' and the support. Oh and if you've PM'd me in the past few weeks, I've been having internet fail, so sorry about that! I'll be replying soon!**

**In the meantime, send me a lovely review won't you? I've got the next chap all planned out in my little brain, so hopefully the words will come easier to me this time!**

**Love, love, love! Drop me a line in the form of a review, and I'll see you next time! :)**


	25. The Beginning or the End

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Attention: There is bloodplay in this chapter...cuz it's a vampfic, ya know?**

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-  
**

*****EPOV*****

I leaned against the windowsill, watching my human girl sleep for what had been the better part of an hour. It was still fascinating to me, how fragile she was, how feeble her bones were and yet she had the power to cripple me with nothing more than her words.

It had been three weeks since we abruptly left Forks, her father, and the wolves that could have possibly been our allies had circumstances been different. There was nothing for us to feel regretful about when it came to Quileutes. They had always deemed themselves our enemies, and even though we tried to remain as neutral as possible in our opinions regarding the shape-shifters, we certainly had no qualms with them continuing to be our enemy.

Bella and I had been well aware that the life we were living in Forks was only temporary. Our passion was wreaking havoc on her body, and her destiny to become a vampire was becoming as much of a need as a want as the days went on. That night, weeks ago when she came to me with her theory, so incredibly convinced that I could be the one to change her…I had never felt more a part of this universe than in that moment.

At first I was disbelieving of the possibility. My mind wandered back to years ago when I had attempted to change Rosalie and failed miserably. But the fact that Bella was being injected with my venom daily was an intriguing thought. If my venom was merely weak as Carlisle and Bella had suspected, then maybe Bella and I could have everything we dreamed of after all.

As much as I wanted to be the one to make her unbreakable, the waiting game was becoming unbearable. If either one of us would have been willing to let Carlisle change her, she could have been a vampire by now. There would be no threat of me ending her life by breaking her bones or taking too much blood; our biggest challenge as a family at this point would have been to support Bella as she endured the hardships of a newborn.

But to know that for the rest of my life, I could gaze upon _my _mark on her neck and know that she was _my _mate forever because of _my_ venom…well, we both desperately needed it to happen if it was realistically possible. And judging by Bella's enhancements within the last few weeks, I had more and more hope that it was.

The first development happened about a week after we had first relocated to Wyoming.

_We were…vehemently fucking…there's truly no other way to describe it. Something snapped in both of us, and we needed each other so fucking badly we couldn't contain it. I was ready to destroy…and so was Bella. We were growling and desperate and I was barely hanging onto my self-control by a thread. I was plunging inside of her harder than I ever had before, and the taste of what it would be like once I could finally let go had me irresponsibly testing my limits with her body. The ignoble part of me reasoned that even if I took it too far, Carlisle was there to save her._

_Thinking back, it was a shameful idea to even entertain, but honestly, we had never been that far gone before._

_She screamed uncontrollably and begged me to drink from her; I was more than happy to oblige. I clumsily attacked her, my teeth dragging up the column of her neck and opening her for me wider than ever before…her blood was rushing out of her so fast, so fucking fast and we had never been more self-destructive than in that moment. I took a deep pull from her artery and then gripped her neck as tightly as I safely could, pressing against the wound with my fingers. My mouth was covered in blood as I hungrily attacked hers._

_She had always loved tasting her blood, and this time was no different…she tasted it slowly, enjoying the warmth and the pleasure it gave her. I let her take her flavor from me, transferring it to her by our heated kiss and frantic, tangling tongues. I nearly came right then when her eyes met mine._

_They were almost foreign to me as she stopped undulating above me, frozen to the spot as I watched her swallow down the warmth of her own blood. She shook, her eyes becoming unfocused and entirely dilated as she began whimpering my name. She crawled up my body and fought desperately to remove my hand from her neck, pleading with me to give her more as her enjoyment quickly turned to obsession._

_I was so far gone that my rationality barely fought its way through the monster's red haze. But as she frantically pleaded with me to let her feed on her own blood, I knew there was something more happening in that moment. "I need to fucking drink, Edward! Please let me drink…fuck, please!"_

_If she had the strength of a newborn, I would have been flung across the room in an instant. The bed would have been destroyed and the sheets nothing more than scraps. It was bloodlust in its purest form, and it was frightening and fascinating all at once. I was too unhinged to try and bring her back, considering it was downright impossible to even bring myself back. Instead I grabbed the back of her neck and let her suck my tongue, giving her remnants of the blood that resided there moments ago._

_When that no longer satisfied her, I held her to me until she looked into my eyes, willing myself one more moment of control until I could once again fuck her like the vampire she craved. "Bella, you'll get one more taste and then we're going to figure out what's happening. It feels different, doesn't it?"_

_She swallowed thickly and nodded, sliding her dripping pussy along my cock with a languid swirl of her hips. God, I needed to get back in. "I need it almost as much as I need you. I have to taste it, you have to give it to me, Edward."_

"_One taste, beloved," I whispered against her lips, her tongue reaching out to lap my mouth. "One more taste and that's it. Do you understand? One more taste and you get my cock. I'll fuck you so good that blood will be the last thing on your mind, Isabella."_

_My teeth found Bella's neck one more, and I moaned as her warm succulence filled my mouth. Knowing that it was for her to drink only heightened the experience, making me feel exhilarated and impatient for what was to come in our hopefully immediate future. I fed her more than I ever had before, and she eagerly took her last indulgence from my mouth as I let it pour into hers. Somehow she had managed to suppress her need thereafter, letting our desperation for one another take over her mind and body entirely. Hours later, after we had the will to resurface from the spiral we had surrendered ourselves to, we knew it was something we desperately needed to discuss with Carlisle._

Bella began stirring, breaking me from my memory of that night. As my human girl so loved to put it, we had been getting cockblocked quite regularly over the last few weeks. It was truly no one's fault. I had changed so drastically in a brief amount of time, my family was nothing short of ecstatic that I had found my place in our world. No longer was I the self-deprecating shut-in that rarely said more than one sentence a week to my family - they all wanted to _know_ me, as a man and as a vampire. The people who I had lived day in and day out with didn't really have that option up until this point. I very much wanted to clue them in, because now that I had Bella in my life, I finally realized the blessings I'd had the entire time leading up to my purpose, my light…

I had been waiting so incredibly long to become the person she made me be.

So with our family's excitement over my participation in our close-knit group, mixed in with the joy they found in Bella's companionship, it was difficult to find a moment where we could be alone. Bella and I had no hesitations when it came to making love whenever we desired. She was very rarely embarrassed, and I had been subjected to my obnoxious siblings' carnal sounds for decades. But as much as we let ourselves go, there were times when we just wanted it to belong to _us_. It wasn't as if our family was sitting around and listening in for fun, but considering how filthy our mouths could get, it was only natural for them to take notice.

We had quickly delved into a relationship so intense it was difficult to comprehend…time spent alone together was imperative, and we simply weren't getting enough of it.

With our family's joy also came their protection. Because of Bella's unorthodox evolution into vampirism, Carlisle felt like it was just too dangerous for them to venture off at such a pivotal time in her journey. As our frustration grew, however, Carlisle was internally conceding that leaving Bella and I alone would be highly beneficial to everyone.

_Just don't bite her when I'm not nearby, Edward. _His silent and playful chastising had made me smile wider than I was used to and I'd merely ducked my head, nodding in acquiescence.

"What are you thinking about over there, vamp boy?"

And suddenly everything was just fucking perfect again.

I was hovering above her in a flash, my dick hard from reliving the night my human girl was crazed with the taste of her own blood. I wanted her so badly I was shaking, and my control was getting more difficult to sustain with every moment spent with my love.

I felt a warm tingling sensation in my chest as Bella stretched her arms while laying beneath me, smiling so brightly that I couldn't help but smile in return. She bit her lip and lifted her hips, coming into contact with my straining cock. "Good morning to me," she whispered sinfully.

"It's about to get better," I growled, grabbing her by the ass and flipping us over until she was on top of me.

She squealed as her hands came down with a slap against my chest. My girl was horny and in love with me simultaneously, _every second of the day. _I just couldn't get enough of the feelings she elicited inside me.

I bunched her underwear in my fists on both sides of her hips, growling as she reached behind her to stroke my cock through my boxer-briefs. "Why are you doing this, baby, you know you have to hunt with them this morning. You've ditched them the last five times."

"The last four times…and why would I need to hunt when I can have my fill of you?" I slid my hand up over her breast above her tank top until two of my fingers were massaging her bite mark.

Her eyes rolled back and her nostrils flared at the mention of tasting her blood. She hadn't had as strong of a reaction to it since the night I unintentionally fed her more than she was accustomed to, but now the anticipation nearly destroyed her when it was time to break through her skin. "Jesus, Edward, I want you to fuck me in so many different ways, I don't even know where to start."

I sat up until she was straddling me and we were face to face. I felt my expression shifting from loving mate to depraved vampire. The night before I had made love to her so slowly, telling her how much I loved her and connecting with her on a level that validated my purpose on this Earth. But this morning I needed to _own_. I needed to hear her scream my name and beg and cry until she was damn near _seizuring_ beneath me.

I licked her bottom lip and pressed my palms against the mattress, lifting my ass up off the bed and grinding my cock firmly into her fabric-covered pussy. My movements made it so all of her weight rested on my dick; she felt hot and soft and perfect pressed so firmly against me. Bella whimpered as she ripped her tank top over her head and prepared to be taken hard and fast by her vampire, just as she fucking liked it.

"My vampire," she whispered with a smirk, burying her fingers in my hair and lifting up on her knees so I could get rid of the last barrier standing between us.

"Edwaaaard…"

_Goddamn Motherfucker._

Bella groaned, pressing her forehead firmly against mine as we heard Emmett call up to me from the bottom of the stairs. "I told you," she whimpered in aggravation. "For being such a bad-ass vampire, your listening skills are pretty much equivalent to the typical human _male_."

I smacked her ass, my eyes involuntarily closing at the sound it made and the way her creamy skin shifted beneath my force. Fuck, it was just so hard not getting wrapped up in her.

"We've given you enough free passes, brother. I'd say we've been more than generous. Cover up, B. I'm coming in whether you're decent or not, and you know that's the truth." Emmett began running up the stairs, sounding like he had ten elephants trailing behind him. Bella haphazardly threw her tank top back on, and I just barely had us tucked beneath the blankets before the door flew open.

"Damn, vamp boy, you were going to do _that_ to me and you didn't even have the door locked?" Bella's voice rose an octave higher as she slapped my chest, making me smile ridiculously.

"I forgot."

"Bullshit, vampires don't forget," Emmett pointed out, tapping the side of his head. "The faster we leave, the sooner you two can finish getting all freaky-deaky. Jasper's outside waiting impatiently."

"Is he still pouting like a five-year-old?" I questioned with a smirk.

We heard Alice reply with a distant "yes," causing us to chuckle.

It was all in good fun, but I knew Jasper's bitterness toward Bella's newfound development had her feeling a bit guilty. I kissed her temple and held her tightly. "He's not really mad, beloved. He just doesn't like not having the upper hand."

She kissed my shoulder and rested her chin against it without saying a word.

One week ago, Alice and Jasper's gifts had very abruptly stopped working on Bella. It made Alice nervous and Jasper aggravated, since he was in the middle of attempting to mess with her when we discovered her immunity to their talents. I was beyond excited to know what this meant for Bella once she was changed…I'd been certain since day one that whatever her talent was, it would be extraordinary.

At first Jasper's irritability was comical to all of us, but I could tell it was starting to upset Bella. Luckily for me, I had a morning-long hunting excursion where I could discuss the matter with Jasper as much as I'd like.

I sure as hell didn't want to leave Bella, though.

She kissed my shoulder once more and wrapped an arm around my waist. Her playful demeanor had disappeared shortly after Emmett had entered our room, and it had me concerned. "I'll be down in a minute," I murmured to Emmett.

"Dude, if you even think about starting that shit up again-"

"Emmett," I interrupted him, shooting him a furtive glance. "Give me five minutes."

He winked at Bella before walking out of the room with his hands on the back of his head, relocating to the kitchen to violate Rosalie as she began making breakfast for Bella.

I was shocked that such an act was taking place, but every part of me was soon focused on Bella and her sudden quietness. I shifted until I was lying on my side facing her, reaching out to wrap my fingers around the curve of her hip as I searched her eyes. "What is it, baby?" I whispered.

She gave me a half-hearted shrug, losing herself in the redness of my eyes like she so often did. "It's stupid."

I tipped her chin with my finger. "Isabella, don't you dare…"

She dragged her fingernails across my chest lazily as she organized her thoughts. "I just…feel disconnected from you. I know that since we've come here we've spent more time together than ever before but…in Forks, it was always about us and what we were and how we were going to get to this point. I'm so happy being here with you and our family, but…we need time when it's just us, too. I wouldn't trade being with the family for the world, but I miss our intimacy, I miss the privacy we used to find because we _had_ to. That probably doesn't even make sense…"

I pulled her against my chest, kissing her hair as my arms wrapped around her waist. "I know exactly what you mean, Bella. When I return from hunting, we can figure out a solution to this. I don't think there's any harm in getting away for awhile, someplace where we can be completely alone. We'll discuss it with Carlisle."

"Well I don't want to be a big baby about it…"

I rolled my eyes. "You aren't being a baby when I need it just as badly. Besides, you won't let me do the really dirty things to you when the family is in listening distance."

She laughed lightly and wrapped her arms around my back. "I know…I need you to do _very _dirty things to me, baby," she whined quietly.

I kissed her forehead and squeezed her ass, pushing against her with my hips. "I can stay…"

"Mmmm, you can't stay, vamp boy. Get your hungry vampire on and then come back to me. Carlisle wants to go all mad-scientist on me anyway." Bella crawled on top of me and tangled her tongue with mine, the hot wetness of her mouth making me lose control all over again. "Go, I love you," she whispered.

I gathered her hair in my hands and tossed it behind her shoulder, sucking the skin where I typically drank from her into my mouth. "I love you, Bella," I murmured sincerely against her soft flesh, placing gentle kisses there as I crushed her to me once more. "I wish you knew how much."

She pulled back and smiled, cupping my face in her palms. "I do, Edward. Go, before I chase Emmett away with a match so I can keep you longer."

"You can keep me forever," I murmured deeply, letting our noses brush delicately together before I kissed her once more. "And ever, and ever…"

"Please go, it's starting to hurt, baby…"

I sighed despondently, kissing her softly before dressing in a flash and disappearing from our room as quickly as I could. With every step I took away from my Bella, my chest twisted even further in discomfort - I knew she was experiencing the exact same sensation. Even now, with nothing standing in our way, the complexities of our unyielding bond were still a mystery to me.

A mystery I would have an eternity to discover.

**-x-x-**

*****BPOV*****

My arms stretched languidly over my head as I yawned, kicking my feet toward the corners of the bed and stretching my legs as well. I could still smell my vamp boy on the sheets, the pillow, my clothes, my skin…I missed him already, but honestly I had no reason to bitch about a single thing. My emotions had been all over the place lately, with leaving my father behind and dealing with the changes my body was going through. Because damn, there were changes.

Every day I felt closer to Edward, but in the same token, I missed him ridiculously. I wanted it to be about us again, and even though everyone was paranoid about leaving us alone, it was something we desperately needed. With a sigh, I breathed through the pain in my chest that Edward's absence caused me, and then I smiled…just like I did every morning I awoke, every night I fell asleep, and all the fuck-awesome space in between.

It had been nearly a month since we had relocated to the snowy seclusion that the cabin in Wyoming offered us. And calling it a cabin was a fucking joke because oh my God, it was gorgeous. Hardwood everything, rustic yet modern, bedrooms the size of Charlie's house, and equipped with everything you'd ever need to hide away from the rest of the world.

My favorite feature was the hot tub. It was surreal to feel Edward as warm as me, but I was thankful that I could still feel the hardness of his skin. I wanted to enjoy the way he felt against me before I changed and we were the same. Don't get me wrong, I'd been nothing short of a petulant toddler when it came to being impatient. But I typically kept that shit to myself because I knew Edward's venom would take effect at the most perfect moment. Not to mention I didn't want to discourage him just because I was being a whine-ass.

Even though I was essentially still human, there weren't capable enough words in the dictionary to explain the transformation I'd already undergone in these weeks I had spent tucked away with my family.

First it was the blood thing…that happened about a week or so after we first arrived. I'd always enjoyed tasting my blood on Edward's tongue, more for the eroticism of the act than anything. It never tasted bad to me, but I wasn't about to run down to Starbucks and order a Grande Type-O Frappacino. Well, that all changed drastically on a typical Saturday evening. Edward and I were going at it - naturally. When he slid his teeth out of my body and connected with my mouth, something snapped inside me. This time, when that first taste of warmth and copper touched my taste buds, absolutely everything began to spiral into a haze of intense _need._

I wasn't ready to kill for it or anything, but I wanted it bad enough to grip onto the sides of Edward's head and lap at his mouth like a starving fucking kitten on crack. It was good. Like, chocolate and whipped cream and strawberries kind of good. We were so far lost in our passion, but luckily he talked some sense into me, giving me one more mouth-watering taste before cutting me off. The next day we were seated in Carlisle's study, watching his golden eyes sparkle with wonderment and a deep fascination of what the fuck I was becoming.

I suggested that perhaps I should try munching on some deer blood like the rest of them, but Edward and Carlisle quickly shot that down. Something about it being unsafe for me to digest animal blood in my delicate human form; but honestly, just how delicate could I be at this point?

In the end, they laid down the cockblock on my hunting career until I was all sparkly and hard. I wasn't too distraught about it; I still got to sneak a taste off of Edward's tongue daily, and that was enough for me.

The next oddity occurred about a week ago, and even though I was perplexed as to what the hell was going on inside my body, it was kind of amusing to see my siblings so frustrated and pissy about it.

If Jasper wasn't trying to fuck with my emotions like the douche-nozzle he was, it might not have been discovered so soon. Now that we were mostly sheltered from danger, Alice rarely got all up in my business. But Jasper just had to attempt to make me angry for the sake of his own amusement. Later on he claimed that he had wanted to see if he could get me to bitch-slap Edward. Apparently it would have been some sort of grand feat to get me to smack up the vampire I was head over heels in love with. So when he sent me his rage-vibes and I continued to hug up on my vamp boy while I ate my Lucky Charms, he knew something was up.

But Jasper never took rejection easily, so he'd spent another ten minutes throwing everything he had my way.

"_Jasper, what the hell are you doing?" Edward finally questioned him, clearly amused at whatever had been going through his brother's head._

_Jasper's nostrils flared as he glared at him. "At what point in time did she learn how to block me out?"_

_Suddenly Alice was there, as if she had materialized out of thin air. "Jazz," she spoke quietly, walking toward me and running her fingers through my hair. "She's not blocking you, she just can't feel what you're doing to her."_

_I looked up at my sister and best friend with wide eyes. "What?"_

"_Bella, let's go talk to Carlisle; I can't see you anymore. And Jasper can't sway your emotions so…" she drifted off, a smile playing on her lips before she met my stare. "You're going to be so amazing, even though this will most certainly drive me insane."_

I'd squeezed her hand and turned to meet Edward's eyes; what I saw had taken my breath away. I had never seen them more alight. Pride, adoration, excitement, love…he was finally realizing that his venom and my determination would be the final factors in my transformation. Everything was exhilarating and brand new and kind of scary, but one thing was for certain, I was ready for more. Every morning I wanted to wake up and be one step closer to being his vampire. I wasn't entirely convinced that I'd have a special power like some of the members of my family did, but they had never been more sure of anything in their very long existences. And that made me so incredibly happy.

Carlisle had no medical explanation for my sudden ability to block out their vampiric gifts. All he could chalk it up to was that I was undoubtedly getting closer to my change, and that this new development could very well have something to do with what my future gift might be. I let him do "experiments" on me weekly, but he knew I hated feeling like a lab rat so he never pushed for more, as much as I knew he wanted to. For hours I would rest my head against Edward's chest as he and Carlisle spoke for eons about prokaryotic cells and eukaryote cells and the nuclear material of them and…yeah, eventually I asked them to dumb it down for me. Apparently the cells in my body were morphing, but Carlisle wasn't sure what that meant for me just yet.

I didn't really care, I just wanted to be Edward's vampire.

Nevertheless, I was an anomaly, and as much as I was Carlisle's daughter first and foremost, he couldn't help but view me as a fascinating case-subject as well. I didn't hold it against him, but I wasn't going to let him turn me into some sort of Franken-bitch either. He tried to apologize excessively for his obtrusive interest in my unconventional change, and I did everything in my power to convince him that he had nothing to be sorry for.

Having Carlisle as such an amazing father figure made me miss Charlie very much, and I tried not to think about his life now that he was a grieving parent. Guilt weighed me down constantly, considering I was happier than I had ever been and his world was no doubt falling apart around him. I wanted to be miserable because of what I had done to him, and a significant part of me was. But living with Edward and learning his family and existing in a world I felt so natural in…I couldn't allow myself to feel obligated into depression. So maybe I was a selfish brat for embracing my joy, but I reasoned with myself that Charlie would have wanted nothing less for me.

There wasn't a day that went by where I didn't think about him, or Jacob, or my boys. I expected it to hurt a lot more than it did, but once I absorbed myself in the new life the Cullens and I had created, it was difficult to remember a time before this.

So I laughed with my siblings, loved my adoptive parents, and lived for my mate - all while waiting for my day to come.

I swear to God, I could almost taste it on the tip of my tongue.

"Get out of bed, Bella, I'm slaving over a hot stove for your spoiled ass," Rosalie murmured from the kitchen below me. Oh yeah, apparently my family suspected that my hearing was heightened as well but honestly, I was pretty fucking positive I'd always had stellar hearing. But if they wanted to chalk it up to Bella becoming a vamp, I'd sure as hell take it.

I kicked the covers off my legs and groaned, suddenly popping up from the mattress. "Rose, why the hell are you cooking for me?"

"Don't say thank you or anything, _Jesus_," she grumbled.

I stumbled over to our closet and threw on some clothes, smirking as I slammed the door shut. "Whatever, Rose. I'm not entirely sure that rat poison would kill me. Aw shit, Carlisle's gonna have to run more tests."

I heard Carlisle chuckle from his study as I bounded down the stairs.

"They're spiked with Pine-Sol, bitch," she smirked, setting my plate of deliciousness on the table as I took a seat. "Now eat before they get cold."

"You'd have to dose me over time in order for that to work, genius," I mumbled through a mouthful of pancakes, suddenly realizing just how famished I was.

Before Rosalie could sneak in another offensive comment, Esme and Carlisle entered the room. "Hey guys, want some pancakes?" I extended my fork to them and they crinkled their noses, shaking their heads. "I don't get how _anyone_ couldn't like pancakes."

Carlisle sat down at the table, pulling Esme into his lap. "I have eaten them in the past actually, although that was long ago. To us, Bella, I would liken them to what pure flour would taste like to you. Not incredibly enjoyable."

"That's tragic," I shook my head, watching the syrup fall from my fork before shoveling it into my mouth. "Although, I would think the worst part would be hacking it back up."

"I don't understand why you're complaining about the food thing. You're the one who wants to become a slaughtering monster, you should probably just get over it."

_Oh Rosalie, what a delicate flower she was._

"Pshh, why do you think I'm mowing down on these pancakes? I'm going to enjoy delicious food while I can," I smiled.

"Or you'll just make yourself fat."

I shrugged my shoulders. "More cushion for the pushin', sis. That's what the kids are saying these days, anyway."

Carlisle and Esme laughed, shaking their heads and exchanging an amused look as Rosalie walked out of the room with an eye roll.

"What?" I asked through a mouthful of pancakes.

Carlisle smiled warmly, running a hand across the top of my head. "Nothing at all, sweetheart. Will you be ready to attempt our next so-called experiment after breakfast?"

I groaned, shooting him an exasperated look that caused him to chuckle once more. "I want to test your speed, Bella. That's not so bad, is it?"

I sighed in relief, shaking my head. "No, that's doable. What did you have in mind?"

"Well, basically I'll have you run as quickly as you can and compare it to that of a typical human woman your age."

I stood and took my plate to the sink, rinsing it before placing it in the dishwasher. "I can handle that for sure. Hey, have you guys seen Alice?"

"She went with the boys, sweetheart. Apparently she needed some male-bonding time," Esme smiled wryly. "It's rather mind-boggling that someone so wrapped up in fashion and beauty could be such a tom-boy."

"Alice is one of a kind, there's no denying that," I chuckled. "So what's up Esme, you want a piece of this? Let's race. Winner gets to eat the rest of the pancakes, yeah?" I lifted my hand for a high five but she left me hanging with a disgusted look.

She rose from Carlisle's lap and squeezed my shoulders, kissing the top of my head. "I'll race you, but if pancakes are my prize, I'll most certainly be letting you win. Or I'll just make Carlisle eat them. Come on, darling."

And _that _was why I loved Carlisle and Esme Cullen.

**-x-x-**

*****EPOV*****

I was exercising great strength as my siblings and I walked at a leisurely pace toward home. If I listened closely enough, I could just make out Bella's laughter and the soft thumping against concrete as she and someone else ran along it. I was so anxious to know whether or not Bella's speed had been advanced as well, but I also knew this stroll I was taking with the others was rather important. They needed to feel connected with me individually, not just Bella and I as a couple.

We walked along silently for a moment, Alice on Jasper's back as we traipsed through the snow-covered hills. I began to open my mouth to speak, but Alice, as always, was two steps ahead of me.

"Believe me, Edward, I've tried. I can't see her at all. And this time it's not black clouds covering my visions like it was with the wolves, it's like they're just _gone_. A white, empty space of nothing. I can't stand not being able to see what's coming for her." Alice sighed before continuing. "But to answer your question, I have no idea what speed she is reaching at this point."

"Do you think she'll be a shield?" Jasper questioned, jumping up onto a tree branch and skipping from tree to tree rather than walking on the ground below.

I shrugged my shoulders. "It's hard to say, Jazz." I hoped for her sake that whatever gift she attained once she was a vampire would be easily manageable. I could remember the first time I'd discovered my talent upon waking up as an entirely different being. It was quite a daunting feeling to not only be bum-rushed with all these new thoughts in your own mind, let alone processing those of others as well. It took me years to properly compartmentalize the thoughts I'd heard around me, and even still, as useful a tool as it sometimes was, it was a burden to constantly have a cacophony of ideas in your head that didn't belong to you.

"It's crazy how she keeps changing little by little, as if she's building up to her transformation. I wonder if it will be the typical three-day pain-fest, or if she'll just wake up one morning and be one of us," Emmett added.

"There's just no way of knowing, especially now, when that infuriating girl has blinded me," Alice grumbled.

Emmett and Jasper chuckled while I smiled softly, looking up to find Alice amongst the trees. "It's not her fault, you know."

"I know," Alice sighed. "Honestly Edward, couldn't you have chosen a more typical human to fall in love with? Instead you pick one who's best friends with shape-shifters, and beholds all these vampire attributes while she's still very much a human girl."

I shook my head and smiled, feeling my legs shaking in the need to run to my not-so-human girl. All this talk of her was making it more unbearable by the minute. "You don't fool me for a second, Alice. You wouldn't trade Bella for the world."

"That's true, but I still wish I could see her," she murmured despondently.

Jasper landed next to me gracefully, twisting his neck until his lips met Alice's. "I think Bella has made it clear that she's more than capable of taking care of herself. I have no doubt it will transfer into her vampirism right along with her."

Emmett wrapped his arms around us and sighed. "Well this has been an enlightening chat, but I'm gonna go race a vampire-human-hybrid-girl. Catch ya later!" He took off through the trees, taking out a few that stood in his way for the fun of it.

I took that as my cue to hurry to Bella's side, but hesitated briefly, meeting Jasper's eyes. "You'll lay off of her about being able to block you out, right?"

He nodded solemnly, golden eyes against bright crimson. "I've only noticed her guilt-ridden emotions the past few times I've made mention of it, and I honestly never meant to make her feel badly about blocking me. At first it made me feel, I don't know, like less of a vampire? But once I realized it was just another step toward what she'll become, I gave her grief about it for pure sport. I realize I've taken it too far, Edward, and I'll definitely apologize to Bella. I never meant any harm."

I clapped his back and started walking backwards ahead of him, smiling crookedly. "I know you didn't, Jasper. I'm going to collect my - what did Emmett call her? Vampire-human-hybrid-girl? Either way, I can't stay away from her anymore…and you two are finally getting your wish, an enormous forest entirely to yourselves."

I turned and began running at full speed, already hearing a large branch crack from something I fought desperately not to envision in my mind. It amazed me how conversations with my family almost always came back to Bella. For the entirety of our hunting trip this morning, we had been discussing things from the past, moments I'd missed out on and all the things we had to look forward to now that I had, in a sense, been given a second chance at immortality. But our discussion ultimately segued to Bella and the mystery of what she was becoming.

Everyone was just so excited about the unknown factors of her new developments. In a never-ending life that tended to get monotonous, someone as refreshing as Bella was a godsend to us. It wasn't just the way in which she was joining our family, it was the dynamic she brought to our group as a whole. Carlisle had never been more right when he said that Bella was our missing piece. It felt so fucking incredible to actually feel like a part of something now; I had battled my own demons for so long to distance myself from them, and only when Bella entered my world did I realize just how preposterous of a notion that was.

With every step I took, Bella's delicious scent became more heavy on my tongue, driving me insane with the need to have her wrapped in my arms. I knew our bond would only strengthen once she was one of us, and while it was slightly unnerving to think of how we could be even _more_ intense than we already were, I was quite anxious to experience it.

When I crested over the top of the hill, I immediately searched the yard for Bella, my eyes finally landing on her sprawled out across the front porch of the ranch. I then pillaged Carlisle's mind for a glimpse of my girl running, to which he readily complied. He showed me a vision of Bella starting at one end of the paved driveway and racing down it until she reached the garage. It was difficult for me to judge her speed from a memory, so as I took a seat next to Bella and pulled her into my lap, I immediately asked her how it went. Her heart was racing frantically as she rested her cheek against my collarbone, panting to catch her breath. "I think I should try out for the Olympics." She looked up at me a long moment, her smile becoming shy as she tightened my shirt in her fist. "Hi," she murmured gently.

I sighed unevenly and pulled her body entirely against mine, placing slow kisses against her neck before finally resting my lips against her ear. "I missed you. Even in that incredibly flimsy amount of time…I could barely stand it."

"Mmmm, me either, vamp boy. Come here, tighter." I wrapped her up and put more force in my embrace than I typically would, letting us surrender to a reunion that was well over due, regardless of the time we spent apart.

I ran my hand from the curve of her hip down the length of her leg as we kissed ardently, breaking apart with a heavy sigh. "I am ridiculously in love with you, Isabella Swan."

"Hmm, you're going to love me even more when I'm running circles around you." She beamed up at me, pressing her lips delicately to mine as her eyes shined in excitement.

I chuckled, adjusting her position in my lap so I could see her properly, and asking for more details.

"I just raced up and down that insanely long driveway and passed out on the steps about five seconds before you got here. Emmett lapped me a few times because he thinks he's cool, but then he took off with Rosalie. I felt like I was flying, though! What's the verdict, Carlisle?"

He came to stand in front of us, his smile wry as he consulted his stopwatch before slipping it in his pocket. "Bella, you have an average speed of 32 miles-per-hour."

She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "How fast can you guys run?"

Carlisle shrugged. "It varies. Edward is the fastest…we've clocked him at just over 100 miles-per-hour. But essentially, the rest of us can run anywhere from 50 to 90 miles-per-hour."

Bella's lips twisted in frustration, but I had no idea why. "Bella, you're running over twice as fast as the average female human, that's certainly an advancement."

"Yeah, but it's nowhere near as fast as you guys," she frowned.

Carlisle crouched in front of us, tucking a strand of hair behind Bella's ear. "You have no reason to feel discouraged, sweetheart. I'm absolutely shocked that you've reached the speeds you did. I'm sure if we give it a try in a couple days, you'll be even faster than before. You're remarkable, Bella, you both are. What you and Edward are giving each other, it's as fascinating as it is beautiful."

Something in Carlisle's quiet words of approval affected me deeply, and when Bella's eyes met mine, I had to choke back the emotion that was building in my chest. She sensed it immediately, sliding her small hand beneath my shirt and rubbing the skin above my still heart soothingly. I sighed and rested my forehead against her temple, closing my eyes and breathing deeply in and out.

I heard Esme come to stand beside Carlisle before he unnecessarily cleared his throat. "Later this evening, we'll be dispersing for a night or two. I think we could all use some time alone with our mates. Do either one of you have any concerns about that?" he asked us.

Bella looked up and shook her head vigorously. "We'll be fine, there's nothing to worry about."

Carlisle smiled at Bella before turning, mentally addressing me. _"We won't be incredibly far, son. If anything were to happen, we could be back within the hour. We haven't been intentionally hovering over the two of you, but with the uncertainty of how exactly Bella will transform into one of us, it's been important that we remain nearby."_

I nodded, and Bella groaned in frustration. "You're doing it again!" she accused.

Carlisle apologized and reiterated everything he had said to me out loud, grinning sheepishly.

"That wasn't so hard, now was it?" Bella smirked, obviously teasing him.

Carlisle shook his head, pulling Esme closer to his side. "Old habits die hard, sweetheart. I don't intentionally strive to keep you out of the loop, please forgive me."

"It's okay, I'm just nosy," she admitted, kissing me on the lips before standing and taking Esme's hand. "All this running has me famished, should we make some human food and watch a rom-com before we all go into hiding for the weekend?"

Esme nodded, kissing Bella on the cheek before they walked up the front steps of the porch. Bella leaned down and ruffled my hair before kissing it. "Come with us," she whispered softly.

I took her hand, kissing each knuckle before meeting her dark eyes. "I'll be right there, beloved."

She sighed and swept her fingers through my hair once more, turning to look at Carlisle. "32 miles-per-hour, huh?" When he nodded, she continued. "I guess that _is_ kind of fast, I could pretty much outrun my old truck any day of the week."

"It's fast, Bella," I agreed.

As I watched the women walk into the house, talking animatedly to one another, I had never felt so much pride. My Bella was yet again surpassing the capabilities of a typical human, and I just knew that we were getting so close to the moment I had been waiting for since the first day I'd met her.

**-x-x-**

The sun had just begun to set as the family prepared to leave Bella and I alone for the next two days.

I could focus on nothing but her.

Ever since Carlisle informed us that they would be leaving, Bella played her sexy, coy little game that she continually loved to torture me with. She wouldn't touch me unless it was an innocent and altogether on purpose brush against my body. She fucked me with her eyes from across the table, she'd whisper something delectable and promising in my ear as she walked past me, and she always thought she had the upper hand.

But not this time.

In the background, Emmett was rambling on about the house rules while "Mommy and Daddy" were gone. Alice was practically dragging Jasper out the front door, and everyone else was close behind them. It suddenly occurred to me that maybe Bella and I weren't the only ones desperate for some time alone.

It was amazing how she gazed so deeply into my eyes, making promises with nothing other than the sinister gleam amongst darkened brown. Everything faded away but Bella, her back leaning against the opposite wall and her body shaking for me alone. I knew she was keeping her distance on purpose, tempting me with everything I couldn't yet have while our family remained standing around us.

I hazily heard Carlisle telling us to enjoy our weekend, and I stood from my resting place against the back of the couch, taking one step closer toward Bella. I barely tilted my head, forcing a smile and wishing him the same. I looked at Bella once more, my nostrils flaring as she shifted her position and assaulted me with the agonizingly sweet scent of her arousal. They needed to leave before they got a very real, very detailed show of just how badly I needed to fuck my mate.

I took another step forward and Bella mumbled her goodbyes, her fingernails pushing into the drywall behind her as she took in my heated gaze. The second I heard the front door shut behind my family, I was pouncing, the wall indented with my hand prints as they landed loudly on either side of her head.

"Do you have any idea what I'm going to do to you?" I murmured, watching her pale skin turn a delicate pink as she licked her lips. I pushed my forehead against the wall next to where her head was resting, breathing heavily as I shifted my hips and let her feel just how hard she made me. It was the only part of my body that was touching hers, and I could feel her squirming against the wall in her need for more. "You teased me all day, Bella."

She whimpered deep in her throat, her hands trembling to reach out and touch me before she thought otherwise. "I'm not sorry," she whispered breathlessly. "I wanted my vampire, and I knew exactly what I needed to do to get him."

I snarled beneath my breath, resisting the urge to cover her body with mine. "Oh you've got him, Isabella…you've got him. Down, _now_. Make it up to me with that little mouth of yours."

She dropped to her knees instantly, meeting my eyes from beneath her lashes as she bit down as hard as she could on my groin, causing me to involuntarily thrust against her mouth. She could be as rough as she wanted to be with my cock thanks to my infallibility, and her increased force only gave me that much more pleasure.

When she released me from the hold she had on me with her teeth, she licked my length through the fabric of my jeans. I moaned loudly and she replaced her lips with her hand, squeezing me viciously in her grip as she knelt up to release the button of my pants with her teeth.

"Fuck…" I cursed as she kneaded me firmly in her grasp, releasing me with one tight squeeze as she dragged my zipper down with her teeth. She pulled at my jeans until they were halfway down my thighs, stopping to stare at the cock that only ever belonged to her. She ran her fingertip across the wetness that had formed against my boxer-briefs before leaning forward to suck it into her mouth. We moaned simultaneously as my fingers dug further into the wall, not giving a shit about the damage I was inflicting.

Once she was done sucking me through my underwear, she pulled them down until they joined my jeans. She began stroking my cock languidly in her fist as she gazed at me as if she were mesmerized. "Shirt off," she whispered, leaning forward and lifting me until her tongue was dragging hotly down the underside of my shaft and across my balls.

I ripped my shirt over my head before reaching down, cupping Bella's jaw in my hand while pushing the hair from her eyes with the other. "Open," I quietly demanded.

I slowly slid my dick into her mouth, carefully letting her adjust to my firmness. I always had to remain in control when she sucked me, conscious of every thrust and movement on my part. I wasn't going to hurt my love, but I needed to feel every inch of me buried inside her soft, wet throat. My fingers drifted up to stroke her cheek, to trace her closed eyelids and then sweep across her bottom lip. She opened wider, her fingers gripping my ass firmly and attempting to push me farther into her mouth. "No, I need it slow, baby. You don't know how far you're going to be taking this cock…we need to take it slow."

She moaned around the head of my cock, releasing my ass with one hand to pull desperately on her nipple that was protruding against her shirt. I lifted her hand and pressed it against my abdomen, my words strained as I pushed a bit farther inside her. "Concentrate, Bella. You worked so diligently on getting me this hard, now it's time for you to fucking do something about it."

She tilted her head back and elongated her throat, making it easier for me to slide down it. I grabbed the base of my erection and squeezed, guiding myself into her mouth until she had nearly all of me inside. I ran my fingers along the back of her throat as she struggled to sustain me, pushing farther and not stopping until every inch of me was deep inside of her.

"Oh _fuck_, Jesus Christ, Bella…" I groaned breathlessly, slamming my fist into the wall and biting down on my lip as she slowly began bobbing up and down on my cock. I rested my forehead against the arm I had leaning against the wall, staring down at the glorious sight of my girl taking so much of me into her throat. I reached down with my other hand and clumsily tore her shirt from her body, scrap by scrap.

She finally came up for air, taking a few deep breaths before tightening her lips around the head of my cock like a suction and running her tongue forcefully along the bottom ridge. I was going to cum soon, and then I was going to take her to our bedroom and fuck her until she lost her fucking mind.

I ripped her bra off of her body and forcefully palmed one of her breasts, pushing her head back down on my dick with my other hand and setting her pace. I laced my fingers through her hair and held her head against the wall, thrusting inside her mouth frantically as the pressure began building inside my body. I felt her cheeks hollowing around my cock as she sucked me, using her teeth as much as she could to intensify the sensations of pleasure spider-webbing throughout every inch of me. My cock jerked violently and it caused me to thrust hard, too hard, into her throat. She cried out softly around me and I pulled back, looking down to frantically meet her eyes.

"I'm fine, keep going. Please keep going," she whimpered.

I dove right back in, tightening my fingers in her hair as I pulled her mouth up and down my rock hard shaft. I was going to come so fucking hard, every inch of me tensing so rigidly that I was shaking violently. "Drink every drop, beloved, I want to feel you swallow every drop of my cum."

She moaned and pulled me closer, sucking me furiously as I began thrusting unevenly into her mouth. I cried out loudly and stilled as I found my release, my girl swallowing urgently around my cock to take everything I gave her, just like I had demanded. My climax lasted so incredibly long, the jerking pleasure making me spasm repeatedly as I continued to push slowly in and out of her.

I felt the strong urge to collapse, my legs feeling somewhat unstable as I fought to recover from a very intense, all-consuming orgasm. Before I could even contemplate it, however, Bella had jumped into my arms and wrapped her legs around my waist, grabbing my hand and shoving it down her pants.

"Holy fuck," I panted as I came into contact with her hot, completely saturated skin. My girl was gushing for me, and I wasted no time thrusting two fingers inside her pussy and curling them tightly. She pushed against my hand as I carried her up the stairs, my fingers working her so frantically that our combined sounds rang out loudly between us.

Bella grabbed two fistfuls of my hair and pulled violently as she plunged her tongue into my mouth, moaning wildly as I brought her closer to climax with every twist of my fingers. I abruptly tossed her on our bed, grabbing my now hard cock with my fist and stroking myself firmly as I watched her bounce against the mattress. My pants still hung off my hips as I watched her climb backwards on the bed until she was leaning against the headboard and her legs were spread wide.

My mouth instantly filled with venom as she wiggled her perfect ass until her pants came sliding down her legs, along with her lacy panties. Just like that, she was completely naked and dragging her middle finger up and down her gloriously pink pussy. I clenched my fists at my side and closed my eyes, ceasing to breathe as I fought for control. "I'm going to hurt you, Bella. If I get on that bed with you, I'm going to fuck you harder than you can take."

"Edward, take your pants off."

I groaned and pushed a hand through my hair, frustrated at the roadblock that was constantly put between us. Sometimes I felt so out of control that there was no way I could trust myself, or her when she continually egged me on. "Do you think I'm fucking kidding right now?" I growled, shoving the remainder of my clothing off and taking a step closer to the bed. "Do you know how fucking painful it is to need you so fucking badly and yet I constantly have to worry about ending your life? Bella…I _have_ to touch you, but I'll break your fucking bones if I do."

She knelt on the bed and crawled toward me, tentatively reaching her hand out to wrap around my hip and bring me closer. I didn't resist, walking forward until we were chest to chest. Without a word she wrapped her arms around my waist, laying her ear over my heart. "I still feel it beating, you know. Especially at times like this, when you're so far gone that you don't know what to do with yourself. I hate seeing you so upset, but I love seeing you so alive, baby."

I clenched my fists against her back and rested my chin on the top of her head, flexing my jaw and trying like hell not to harm her. "I love you too much," I whispered shakily.

Bella kissed my chest and smiled against my skin. "You're stealing my words now. Come on, Edward. Lay with me, I need to feel you. I need you to love me and ravish me at the same time; I know you can do it. Trust yourself like I trust you."

Maybe it was the fact that we were entirely alone, but I didn't trust myself in that moment. She needed me to love her though, and that was something I would never _ever _deny her.

I knelt onto the bed and crawled over her until her back was flat against the mattress. I remained there, just hovering above her, staring down and attempting to figure out how anyone as magnificent as her could love someone like me. I studied every inch of her…the curve of her hips, her pink nipples, her plump bottom lip, the sparkling eyes that told me she loved me every second they met mine…I felt so fucking much for this girl that it overtook me completely.

Suddenly I wasn't worried about hurting her any longer - I was worried that I was incapable of showing her just how much I loved her.

I rested my forearms on either side of her head, aligning the rest of my body with hers until we were skin to skin, chest to chest. She kissed me chastely, taking my bottom lip between hers and sucking it slowly, sweetly, sensually. I could taste myself on her and it made me throb in achingly perfect pleasure. Once again we had gone from urgent and rough to slow and loving, in that amazing way we had of combining the two. We always knew exactly what the other needed, and this time was no different.

The room was completely dark apart from the large, bright moon that shined in through the window, casting her creamy skin in the most breathtaking light. "Bella, I don't know…I just don't know how…"

She silenced me with her lips, kissing me deeply before wrapping her arms around my neck and bringing my face to her shoulder. "I feel it too, baby," she whispered, dragging her nails soothingly along my scalp. "My heart feels like it's going to break, it can't hold all of you inside it."

I slid my arm beneath her body and pulled her against me, holding her too tightly, too fucking tightly and yet I couldn't stop. Her breath caught as I crushed her to me but she didn't protest, pulling me against her and hugging me in just the same way. "Sorry it didn't stay dirty," I chuckled hoarsely, releasing her just enough to move up her body and realign us. My eyes fluttered closed as the head of my cock slid against her opening, coating me with her juices and confirming just how ready for me she was.

She laughed softly and rolled her eyes, kissing my lips. "Are you kidding me, vamp boy? I love our intensity…it doesn't matter how we show it, as long as we do. I told you I was feeling disconnected and now, I've never felt more a part of you than I do right now. Don't ever apologize for this, Edward, because this defines every choice I've ever made and every path I've ever taken to get to you."

I felt the ring on her left hand slide along my back, making my dick jerk violently against her soft skin. Her existence overwhelmed me, her love nearly destroyed me. "Put us back together," she begged, not releasing her grip on me for a second.

I ran my hands along her muscles that were shaking with exertion, pressing kisses along her arms, shoulders, chest and neck. I smelled the salt of her tears before they fell, her eyes gazing up at me unblinking as she loved me by sight alone. My hand slid between us, her breathing picking up every-so-slightly as I reached her clit and drew firm passes along it, reveling in the way her blood raced through her veins in exhilaration. As much as I loved hearing the proof of her life and coveted tasting her blood on my tongue, I was so eager to give it up. It was such a small price to pay when the result would be her forever…_our _forever.

I wrapped my fingers around my erection and dragged the head of my cock up and down her slit, our breathy moans pouring into each other's mouths as we lost ourselves in the sensations of pleasure. Slowly, ever-so-slowly, I carefully pushed inside her, stopping once the head of my cock was nestled just inside. Our foreheads pressed tightly together as I slid both hands behind her back, crushing her to me and leisurely sliding the rest of the way inside her body.

"Edward…every time," she breathed, wrapping her arms tighter around my neck and kissing me with a blinding passion that always seemed to take away the breath I didn't need. I shifted my hips back and slid inside of her once more, memorizing every inch, trembling with every movement we made against one another. I lived for the moments when it was wild and unpredictable, but there was nothing like connecting with my mate. Absolutely fucking nothing.

I felt her pulse thrumming rapidly from where I was buried deep inside her, reluctant to leave her succulent warmth when it was the only time I truly felt complete. I abandoned thrusting in and out of her, and instead swiveled my hips against hers so I'd never have to leave it, I'd never have to leave her as long as we existed on this earth.

Bella grabbed my hand and laced our fingers together, dragging them up her body until they were stroking along her neck. I knew what she wanted, and not because she got off on the pain from my teeth or the taste of her blood. It was because one day soon we'd never have this again, not exactly like this, and being connected by feeding off of her as well as making love to her…it was unlike anything I could possibly describe.

I kissed her passionately, our tongues slowly dancing together and tasting like they'd never have another chance. My lips slid to the corner of her mouth and then along her jaw, panting heavily against her skin as I made my way to her bite mark. "You give me everything, beloved," I whispered heavily, quickening my swiveling hips and moaning as her legs tightened around me.

I kissed her repeatedly against the mark on her neck that fed me, worshipping her and the act that continually brought us closer together. I slid my palms up and down her sides, letting my open hands explore every inch of her I could find. One day she wouldn't be this soft, but she would still be mine. She cried out beneath me and I knew she felt it too, her fingernails attempting to push against my back as she found my mouth.

"I want it so badly, baby," she cried, speaking frantically against my lips between kisses. "I want to be yours, I want you to make me yours."

I sighed, kissing her fervently in return. "Oh Bella, don't you see that you already are? You're mine…and it's going to happen when the time is right. Just give me a little more time, beloved, I promise it will be _me _turning you into my vampire."

"Hold me tighter," she begged me, her voice suddenly fragile and needy as she clung to my body with every ounce of strength she possessed. I held her too tightly, just as she liked it, and continued to press inside of her, our movements slow but heady and more intense this way. "I don't want this to end," she whimpered.

"Bella, just because our family is here doesn't mean we can't connect like this."

She searched my eyes as the tears rolled down her cheeks. "I know…but I don't want this part of us to belong to anyone but you and me."

"God baby, even if they heard this, even if they had an idea of what was happening right now, they'd never understand it. No one can have this but us, don't you get that? Bella this will only ever be ours…when that bedroom door shuts, everything else in this world ceases to exist. Don't let their proximity stop you from expressing yourself…we can always give ourselves to each other like this, regardless of who's surrounding us."

She nodded against my forehead and moaned breathlessly, pulling me tighter and shivering in my embrace. "I'm sorry I've been holding back, Edward. I'm so sorry…"

I silenced her lips with mine, unable to stomach hearing her beg forgiveness of something that she didn't even need to apologize for. "Don't you dare apologize to me, sweet girl. You've done nothing wrong. You have no idea how amazing you are. You don't know how desperately I strive to be a better man merely because you're _mine._"

She cried out loudly, struggling to bring our bodies closer together. "Please take it, baby. I need you in both ways. Please..."

I ran my thumb along her bottom lip and searched her eyes, stilling myself inside her body as I gazed at her. "Bella, I'm so in love with you…tell me you understand, because I can't find any other way to show you and this isn't enough…I love you, _fuck_, I love you…"

I felt us approaching that fine line as my words made her tremble so violently it began to alarm me; our descent into loving each other so much it was terrifying was well on its way. I hadn't felt exactly like this since we'd left Forks, but then again, my love had just admitted to holding herself back all this time. As much as I regretted that, maybe it was a good thing…this was the kind of love that had the power to destroy us both.

She repeated her love for me in slurred declarations, becoming fatigued from the heavy emotion mixed in with the overwhelming pleasure. "I'll bring us back, beloved," I whispered, kissing her bite mark once more before gently scraping my teeth back and forth along it.

It wasn't enough to break her skin, but as soon as I started she began clenching around me, her orgasm seconds away from unleashing on both of us. I could smell her thick, warm blood just beneath the surface, begging for me to indulge. In truth, it was calling for both of us, because it sustained Bella just as much now. And I was sharing her perfect blood with her tonight. With a heavy inhale I broke through her skin, her rich liquid coating my tongue in warm spurts. I drank from her incredibly slow, savoring the moment and letting the venom that was filling my mouth surge into her bloodstream. Everything about us was give and take; I loved knowing that while her blood was infiltrating my body, my venom was coating every inch of hers. Give and take…that's all we ever were.

I let the venom pour from my mouth, intermingling with her blood just like it was always meant to, as destined a pairing as we were. I could have gone on like that forever, putting my life into her body and vice versa, until she called out a silent plea from beneath me. "Let me taste it, Edward," she cried ever-so-softly.

I pulled her blood from her body until my mouth was full, covering her wound with my palm and leaning down until we were mouth to mouth. I breathed raggedly as I let her blood slide from my mouth to hers, feeding my human girl and gaining just as much pleasure as she from this indescribably intimate act. She swallowed and groaned in hunger and indulgence, seeking my tongue again and pulling more of her flavor off my skin. "I feel your venom in me, Edward. It's like lightning…it always makes me feel so fucking alive. God, I love you."

I groaned and quickened my thrusts as we moved together, my orgasm quickly approaching with her words and her blood and the irrevocable way that she trusted me with her body. Once she licked my mouth clean I went back for more, knowing that I would take from her until the last possible moment, because I would never fucking threaten the safety of my purpose, my light…

I gave her more of my venom because I wanted to claim her, I wanted her to feel me in her body like I always felt her. I took one more mouthful of blood and gave it to my love, pushing steadily in and out of her body as she undulated beneath me. She swallowed down her blood hungrily, gasping for air and shivering on account of her impending climax. "So close…so close, harder please, go harder…Edward, I need more!"

I growled desperately as I began thrusting in and out of her at vampire speed, diving my teeth into her neck once more even though I knew I was getting too close to a very dangerous point. I held the blood inside her body but let it sit against my tongue. I was so painfully aroused and fervently hungry for her that my venom was sliding down her neck, past her collarbone. I couldn't stop. I was lost, I fucking needed this girl more than anything else in this world and I just couldn't. Fucking. Stop.

And then she came suddenly, violently. She tore my orgasm from my body, her pussy clamping down on me and her body flailing as she clawed at me desperately. I groaned viciously against her bite mark, continuing to thrust fervently into her even after my climax had passed. I needed more, and so did she, begging for more blood, for one more taste, just one more taste…

And then she stopped moving.

Fear like I had never known before rippled throughout my body and I quickly sealed her wound, frantically looking into her wide, shocked eyes the second I was through. She was frozen in place, silent tears sliding past her eyelids as she stared up at me in a mixture of fear and excitement. "I don't feel right. Edward, I don't feel right," she murmured through barely-moving lips.

A dry sob tore from my lips and I began to panic, not knowing if I had hurt her, killed her…or if I had finally managed to begin her transformation. "I have to call Carlisle, Beloved," I choked out, running my hands along her sticky skin and praying to God I wasn't selfish enough to end my human girl's life. Not like this…I vowed from the beginning that our love wouldn't kill her, and I was so fucking frightened that it had done exactly that.

Her arms were weak as they wrapped around my neck, her expression suddenly terrified as she searched my eyes. "Don't leave me," she cried. "Please don't leave me, baby, I think…I don't know, I'm scared but it feels…wrong. It hurts so bad. Shit Edward, don't leave me."

Going against every bone in my body, I tore myself out of her embrace, ripping my jeans apart at the seams until my phone came flying out of them. I dropped it twice in my haste and shaking fingers, frantically dialing Carlisle's number before covering her body with mine once more. "I'm right here, Bella. I'm right here, baby. This has to be it…you're going to be my vampire now. This has to be it." My voice wavered as I begged for it to be true, that this was just the beginning of her transformation, and not the end of life for both of us.

Carlisle picked up immediately and I completely lost it, dry-sobbing into the phone like I didn't have a prayer on this earth. "Please come back," I choked, pressing my face into her neck to muffle my cries. You have to come back, Carlisle, I don't know what I've done…"

In mere seconds our call was disconnected and my human girl's future was flashing before my eyes. "Bella…" I whispered brokenly, pushing her hair out of her eyes and desperately trying to get her to look at me.

Her eyes bounced around a bit until they found mine, her bottom lip trembling as her hand reached out to stroke my cheek. "It's like a fire. I love you, Edward. Just hold me, okay? Don't let me go, I need you…"

Her heart began racing fast, too fast, and as I crushed her to my chest and sobbed desperately in the dark of night, I knew that this moment would either be the beginning or the end of our existence.

**-x-**

**-x-**

**-x-x-x-x-x-**

**Hopefully the length and content of this chapter made up for the lack of a timely update. :)**

**I'd like to thank everyone who PM'd me, checking on the status of LB. I had a big month last month, good things and bad things happened. It's nice to know that you all still care so much about this story. Please believe me when I say that I will _never_ give up on one of my stories. Never, ever!**

**Thanks to Isabel for being an amazing beta and friend! She always knows exactly what my stories need! :)**

**Feel free to follow me on Twitter, Brits23, and if you really want to be in for a treat, check out the blog that Lazykate and I have created! If you love yourself a little PFach now and then, you'll definitely want to check it out! Here's the linkie: http:/pfachwatchalong(dot)wordpress(dot)com/**

**Don't forget to follow PFachWatchalong on twitter as well! We'd really appreciate it!**

**If you have a moment, please send me a review? Big things are on the horizon for our Bitey and his beloved. I'm excited to hear what you think! Thanks again! **


	26. Lost and Found

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Welcome! We left off with Bella writhing in pain after Edward drank her blood all sexy-like. Could this be the big transformation, and did our boy Bitey really have it in him? Let's find out!**

**~xxx~**

*****BPOV*****

I couldn't fucking hear myself think. My eyes were open, but I couldn't see past the film that covered them. The room was silent apart from my vamp boy's desperate pleas and yet I was struggling to hear them over the blaring silence. The fire was scorching my skin from the inside out, but I wanted to laugh at it; as if I'd let something as insignificant as pain take me over at a moment like this.

It was almost as if I was on some sort of hallucinogen, completely checked out of reality, yet utterly aware. My thoughts were floating around frantically inside my mind but I couldn't quite catch them; I just knew that Edward was touching me and that he couldn't fucking stop.

He let go of me and I whimpered, hating that I was showing weakness when I was so damn determined to dominate my transformation. His murmured words sounded as if he were speaking under water, and I began shaking as he pulled itchy fabric over my skin. I didn't want it. It made the fire in my body transform into a raging inferno, the panic I was harboring now bubbling over and above the surface. The mere suffocation of clothing did this to me, and I felt so fucking trapped I could have screamed.

Instead I fought through the fog and confusion and murmured quiet words through tight lips. "I need it off, Edward." Did I say that out loud? My mouth was moving but I couldn't hear it…I could barely hear anything.

I managed to make out the stuttering fragments of his deep voice and groaned in frustration when words and syllables refused to piece themselves together in my mind. My hands were tightened fists as I pushed them against the mattress. "Closer!" I screamed, or maybe it was merely a whisper…it just wasn't making any sense.

I felt ice cold lips against my ear, causing me to take a deep breath of something resembling relief…or as close to it as I could get. "Carlisle's nearly here, beloved. Just let me cover you until we're alone again, okay?"

He was so scared, my vampire. His voice was trembling, so unsure of what he'd done and what was happening to me because of his actions. Whatever was taking place tonight, and whatever would become of us as a result of it, I knew it was meant to happen exactly this way, exactly like this. Even if I died and he followed thereafter, I could still take my last breath knowing that it was because we loved each other so fucking much, and that was worth everything to me.

I ignored the way the clothes rubbed against my skin and dug into my pores, instead focusing on the sensation of my heart thundering like a stampede and his cold lips sliding across my cheek. I wanted to look at him but even though I was sure my eyes were wide open, they refused to find anything but darkness. Feeling his lips on my skin wasn't enough, I needed him to surround me, I needed the coolness of his body to smother the flames that I was still intent on defeating.

_They were no fucking match for me. _

I attempted to speak but my throat instantly revolted. Tears slid past my unseeing eyes and rolled down until they met his hard lips, frustration swirling in my veins. I hated not having control of my body, even more so not being able to tell Edward what I needed.

I blindly reached for his hand, gripping it tightly when I found it and sliding it frantically across my body. He caught on quickly, hovering above me and touching me so gently until he soothed the ache that was so intense, my brain couldn't comprehend it. I immediately thought about the movie _Hostel_, the torture inflicted upon unsuspecting people and comparing it to the pain I couldn't quite grasp. Maybe this was what it was like. You screamed because you needed to have that outlet, but agony like that wasn't something you let yourself acknowledge. Instead of giving into the state that my body was in, I kept my mind constantly moving, focused on Edward and struggling to take one millisecond at a time.

I wondered why I couldn't be unconscious for this. When I was little and had the flu, I'd just sleep through the worst of it and usually when I awoke, everything was better. Edward's words were far away, but his touch was the most vibrant thing in my world. My fingers still slid back and forth over his arm, but nothing else would work for me; it was like the pain had calcified me. My legs, my arms, my eyes…they all fucking refused me, and it was almost more than I could stand. I concentrated on mentally talking through it in my mind, never stopping with my frantic thought process because if I stopped, I'd fucking lose my shit and I could _not_ let that happen.

Nothing scared me more than my lack of communication with Edward. The pain could go fuck itself and the semi-paralysis I seemed to be experiencing was just another temporary sacrifice until I could be immortal with my mate. But there was no fucking way in hell I could do this without him, and if for some reason I stopped being able to feel his skin on mine…

I screamed then, the mere thought destroying me and making me slip in my resolve to ignore the havoc that was tearing its way throughout my body. He was speaking to me again, in a despairing voice that told me he'd be sobbing hysterically if he were capable. His jumbled words sounded like pleas, and all I wanted was to promise him that everything would be okay.

I tried to close my eyes but the lids felt like they were made of stone, frozen in place and yet they still weren't allowing me to see. I tried to remember the events that had led up to this moment. Having Edward inside me, pumping, lips frantic, teeth breaking through flesh and blood and venom…God, he did this to me. The happiness and excitement that truth brought me intermingled with the fiery pain, surging my frantic heartbeat from rapid to nothing more than a fluttering vibration. I had so much fucking faith in my vamp boy, and no matter what would happen from this point on, he had done exactly what I always knew he could do.

He made me _his._

I couldn't understand how it was possible to feel so much while trapped in this paralyzed body. Even though I had no proof, I knew for a fact it wouldn't last forever. I could feel my muscles bubbling beneath the surface of my skin, aching to be used, bending and molding until they had designed a being of agility and permanence.

A long moan left my mouth, and I didn't know it was there until it was already reverberating in the air, causing Edward to pin me tighter to the bed. I swore I could feel the dust particles in the air swirling around me, landing on my skin and turning to ash the second they came into contact with the fire that consumed my body. The room shifted and I knew we weren't alone, the sudden distraction making me veer away from my rampant train of thought. I suddenly had a vision of my insides shrouded in fire. It was a scene straight out of a horror movie…my heart, my lungs, my kidneys doused in flames and boiling, shriveling, dying while I laid idly by and watched it happen.

I felt it then. I really let myself consume what it was actually doing to my body for the first time since it all began. It was like an explosion; I was so positive this was what it felt like to have your body ripped apart at the seams, separating until you were nothing but pieces of flesh and a distant memory. I felt like I should have been screaming but it was beyond that. There was no way of expressing the sensation of my flesh tearing away and burning in tiny fragments. I vaguely acknowledged the way my body began to shake, as if I were having a violent seizure.

Their voices were frantic, my family, my Edward. Hands held me down, all over they held me and there were more than the two familiar ones that knew my body inside and out. I was unraveling, my resilience against the pain dwindling to nothing as I soon discovered that I had no choice but to accept this. I had no regrets, but I was so fucking sad because I knew now that this would kill me. Nothing made sense to me but the fact that I was falling, the parts of me that remained tumbling into the black abyss before I disappeared inside it. I gasped and dug my nails into someone, whatever had me, because not being able to kiss Edward goodbye before I left him was so fucking devastating to me.

I began whimpering, needing to express myself before it took me, my restless mind conjuring up images of my skin being ripped off of me in strips as the fire ran across my exposed flesh underneath. Panic was breaking through the paralysis, my back shooting up off the bed and my head shaking frantically from side to side in one last attempt at protesting the inevitable end. I still couldn't see but I knew it was close now, the desolate conclusion that I was too weak to refuse, the darkness, just a life with nothing, and without him. It was building like a crescendo, like a climax, like a grand finale…boiling, bubbling, screaming, and this was it now….the explosion, the ending of who I was, what Edward and I had become. Two trails of fire fell down my cheeks and I assumed they were tears. Somehow I found the strength to give him the only thing I had left…

"I love you…"

I managed it with a whimpered last breath, a gust of air that I put everything into producing for my Edward. My eyes couldn't bring me his perfect face, but my mind would never deny me the pleasure. I heard him…and he was crying.

"Bella, _don't_," he pleaded, it was like an echo bouncing off the walls of an empty hallway.

I failed him, I failed him. I wasn't strong enough to take it, he had given me everything and I was just too fucking weak to withstand it. I felt my body begin to break, my back arching until I was as straight as an arrow, my head slamming back into the headboard until the splinters were cracking and breaking around my skull.

This was it…

His voice, telling me he loved me.

The memory of our bodies moving together in one tandem, destined movement.

And the crimson eyes that made my life worth living.

Another rip across the center of my abdomen, the abrupt halt of my frantically beating heart, and then I was swept away.

It was nothing, and I was gone.

**-x-x-**

*****EPOV*****

My surroundings seemed to close in on me as I hovered over her lifeless form, my knees on either side of her slender waist and her hand clasped to my chest.

The moment she stopped breathing was right around the time I had officially checked out. My trembling fingers brushed away the remnants of the headboard, destroyed by a human girl that shouldn't have possessed such strength.

And now she possessed nothing.

A steady vibration of terror let loose inside my body, my hands gripping her too tightly as she lay limp in my grasp, my legs giving way because there was no point to this existence any longer. I suddenly collapsed, the crack of her bones sounding out beneath me because I didn't even have the strength to catch myself from falling right on top of her. I hurt her, even though she couldn't feel it. I broke her bones…and it wasn't because I was holding her too hard or loving her too much or fucking her too forcefully.

It was because I had given up on fucking _everything_ with the last gasp of air that left her lungs. I wanted to shake her, I wanted to do anything to bring life back into her body. Instead, I simply begged her.

"Please," I whimpered, resting my ear over her breastbone, listening to a heart that was just as dormant as my own. Not a sound, not a flutter…and even the warmth seemed to be draining from her body at a ridiculously rapid pace. Nothing about this was real. One moment we were joined together, in love and need, like we always were. And then sheer panic…and then nothing…

Fuck, there was nothing to fight for any longer. I was always so determined to remain strong for her when the world seemed to fall apart around us. But she was gone now, and with her, she took the only thing that ever resembled my soul. "You weren't supposed to go, beloved. Not without me, you have to wait…you have to _wait_…" I began choking for the air my lungs didn't need; the world that I now existed in was lacking my Bella and for that reason alone, it was suffocating me. I needed help…someone needed to take this inconceivable pain away.

In the blink of an eye I was airborne, my back crashing against the far wall of our bedroom. It bent and gave way beneath me, and as I slumped against the drywall that couldn't withstand my force, I barely had the urge to move my eyes upward to see who had sent me across that room.

My bottom lip trembled as reality threatened to make its way inside my psyche. A reality without her, the need to make plans now, not to wait another second to join her wherever she may be. If I was condemned to hell, then I'd crawl my way back out again, because I refused to be a member of the damned when my purpose, my light was waiting for me elsewhere.

"Edward!"

My eyes rolled from side to side in crazed desolation, reluctant to look up and meet the fiery black of the man who had been my father but never my confidante until Bella came into my life. "You need to be the one to do it," I murmured weakly, my fingers dragging frantically back and forth against the hardwood flooring until it frayed away beneath me. "Please…you need to end me now, because I made her go away, Carlisle. I made her go away."

I had never seen him so angry as he grabbed my shoulder with one hand and dragged me to her bedside. "You claim you love her? You claim she's your soul mate, Edward? Then how dare you give up on her now! Stop wallowing in what you think you've lost, and do everything in your power to save her! This isn't about you! This is about bringing her into eternity like you promised her you would!"

I stared down into her empty eyes, her unmoving body that was still so fucking breathtaking even after the life had been sucked out of it. I had no time to loathe myself for how quickly I had given up on saving her life. All I could do now was attempt to fight against the all-consuming anguish and realize that I was willingly letting something take her from me, and I was barely putting up a fight. God, the notion was fucking sickening.

I stood beside the bed, touching every inch of her clammy skin I could reach. Rage bubbled up underneath the surface of my skin, a feral yell barreling from my lips as I grabbed Bella's vanity and splintered it against that wall. "What the fuck do you expect me to do, Carlisle? I killed her! I fucking killed…the only thing…oh my _God_…" I fell to my knees, my hands pulling on my hair so forcefully that I felt the moment the follicles were pried from my scalp. My vision blurred with venom and I fell to my side, watching as Carlisle gave up on resurrecting my honor and rushed to my human girl's lifeless body.

He looked so utterly distraught as he brushed her matted hair away from her face, searching for a pulse, for any sign that this was just a part of her unconventional transformation. But the room was empty of its glow, didn't he feel that? Did he really think he could bring her back when the very essence of my love had dissipated in the blink of an eye?

He leaned down and repositioned her until his teeth were hovering over the back of her neck, a rushed, silent prayer falling from his lips. I watched silently, my body unable to move as my father found the bravery I never possessed, and the hope to save the girl that had quickly become the final piece of our family. He was doing everything I was supposed to do, everything a man was supposed to do for his mate. I failed her…death wasn't enough for me. Death wasn't enough.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling, unable to watch the moment his teeth sunk into her skin. It was just another way I had failed her, and bearing witness to it was more than I could endure. The terror and defeat was so violent inside me that it wouldn't allow me to cry out in its sake. I would remain there forever, because there was nothing now. My eyes fluttered shut and I saw her smiling face…human, breakable, and alive. I punched my thigh like an obsessive tick, harder with each silent moment in the room, my head turning from side to side as her smiling image turned to the lifeless girl that lay in that very room. The one I didn't have the courage to save. Why was I in such a hurry to take her life? I never should have done this to her, coming into her world, making her mine. I'd only brought devastation wherever I went, why would this be any different? My selfishness disgusted me, and Bella was gone.

Oh my God…my Bella was gone.

"Do you remember when I killed Rosalie?" I chuckled to Carlisle, madness officially washing over any semblance of sanity that remained. "And then there was Victoria. Her life ended because I was so consumed in my own quest for sexual pleasure. You saved Rosalie from me. You saved Victoria from herself. But who will save Bella? Who will save the girl I murdered because I thought I deserved to be loved?"

Carlisle ignored me as he tended to Bella, which he had every right to. He was trying in vain to bring her back to me, and that was more important than my pathetic rambling would ever be…and far more than I deserved. I made no effort to fight off the small hands that heaved me from the floor, my eyes falling shut as I ignored everything around me in that dark and empty room. The arms that lifted me soon deposited my defeated, limp body onto the bed beside my Bella, her glorious scent causing me to inhale instinctively and my eyes to flutter open.

"Oh, Jesus," I whispered brokenly, my eyes burning so painfully that I could barely see.

Alice curled her body behind my own, her arm wrapped around my shoulders as she rested her chin against my temple. "No one will save Bella, dear brother. She never needed saving to begin with."

Her body was still unmoving, and her heart remained remarkably silent. But her eyes…dark red and vibrant and _aware_…they were everything anchoring me to the earth below in that moment. They danced along the ceiling, back and forth, as if she were learning every bump and crevice it possessed. Jesus Christ, she was there. It was faint, but I felt her…

I rose up on my knees, leaning over her with my palms on the mattress. I pushed the hair out of her face and ran my hand along her cheek, feeling the rigidity and coolness of her skin. "Bella…come on, baby, look at me…"

A slight vibration shuddered through her body and I was rejuvenated from my mournful state in an instant. She responded to me…her heart was silent but we both knew that ultimately it would be. Perhaps she was dead, but she sure as hell wasn't gone…

A cry tore from my lips as I fell to my side and held her as tightly as I could without jostling her too considerably. My panic was almost as insurmountable as my hope, and my lips frantically kissed her immobile mouth, her jaw, the apples of her cheeks. I couldn't calm down, the idea of my love coming back to me setting forth a hysterical panic inside me. She couldn't leave me now, I'd thought I'd lost everything but she was here now and nothing would take her. She had to stay. I kissed her ear and cradled her face in the palm on my hand, trembling so heavily that it was shaking her unmoving body. My lips swept across her earlobe, and then I begged her with everything I had. "Stay with me, beloved. I've got nothing if you go. You're my light, Bella. I'll follow you anywhere but I need you here now. We've got so much to do, baby. Promise me you'll stay…"

This time she made no acknowledgement of my voice, which sent my heightened emotions to the other end of the spectrum. I was so unbelievably frightened. Was this a fluke? Just a lingering effect left behind cruelly by the venom that was still coursing through her lifeless veins? "Carlisle…" I groaned, needing his reassurance now more than ever.

He was already at her side, hand on her forehead, at her pulse point, searching for any sign of familiarity. The frustration was evident on his face and dominant in his thoughts, even though he was trying to suppress it. She was no longer a human he could treat with medication or plaster. I knew from his mind that he'd never seen a transformation such as this. He didn't know what to expect or how to protect Bella if something went wrong; he had never been more frustrated. Carlisle's entire being was centered around his ability to help and heal. He just didn't know what to do for her, but he kept his voice calm and authoritative, for my sake. "All we can do is wait, son. Her body has shut down but…she's here, there's no denying that. She doesn't appear to be in pain, which is a good sign. She also seems to be quite far along in her transformation. Her heart stopped beating quite early on, which is not typical during the change, but honestly, nothing about this has been run-of the-mill. We'll wait, we'll pray, we'll love her." He put his hand on my shoulder and looked at me intently. "That alone holds more power than you'll ever know, Edward. It will be enough. You have to have _faith_."

His last spoken word struck something inside me, and I was taken to a time, months ago, when I'd asked Bella to have that very thing. Faith. Faith in me. Not that I deserved it now. A million lifetimes worth of repentance would never make up for the injustice I caused the love of my existence. I felt revitalized by her awareness, by the knowledge that I could go on worshipping her for years to come. But everything felt different inside me now…jaded, dim. When the time had come for me to be strong for her, I'd done nothing but fail her.

It was the greatest sin I had yet to commit.

I owed it to her now to have the faith she needed, the strength to keep her here with me. If it was the last thing I did, I would give her that.

Alice hugged my shoulders from behind, kissing my cheek and holding me extremely tight. "I still can't see her future, Edward, but I can _feel _her there. I can feel her _everywhere_, she's going to be so beautiful."

She squeezed me once more and exited the room, her quiet, dry sobs breaking my heart further as she dove into Jasper's arms outside the room. "Everyone needs you, Bella," I whispered brokenly, still staring at the closed door before taking her in once more. I touched her skin carefully, reverently, treating her like porcelain because at this point, I didn't know how much she could take. "I need you. I love you more than anything, Isabella. Hold onto it, love, and know that above all else, _you_ are my faith. You're my _everything."_

Carlisle backed away from the bedside, and I quietly requested that he not leave the room. I needed his strength to brace my own, because everything inside of me was a roller coaster. My emotions, my sanity, my resolve…I didn't trust myself to possess the strength that Bella needed in the following hours to come.

My cowardice made me sick.

As the darkness of night turned to morning, I held on securely to the woman I was created for, and softly begged my love to forgive me for abandoning hope so effortlessly.

**-x-x-**

The sun was out in full force as time moved on mercilessly, shining brightly through the parted curtains and yet she still didn't move. The room remained perfectly silent as we waited for something, anything. Carlisle sat in the chair across the room, his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. His pain was palpable, but my mind refused to hone in on his thoughts, _my_ every thought invested in the perfection that lay beside me.

I was still too frightened to hold Bella as tightly as I'd wanted, not knowing what the hours of stillness had meant for her. I was constantly touching her everywhere, gauging her progress and the remnants of life that still held onto her fragile body. She was fascinating, a breathtaking miracle with her frantically moving red eyes and her still heart and her nearly transparent complexion. I marveled at the way her skin changed consistency with each passing moment she lay there, and with her progress, I felt myself getting stronger. But not strong enough to gaze into her eyes.

No, my all-encompassing fear kept me from looking directly into her dark crimson as they moved hastily back and forth. I was terrified of what I'd find there, so instead I studied every other part of her that owned me. Somehow the disgust I still felt for myself didn't stop me from letting my eyes feast upon her rapidly changing features. The rest of the family waited outside the door, desperate to come in and check on the girl who meant so much to us. Thankfully they understood that it just wasn't the right time yet. Not when I was so close to the edge, not when her very immortality hung in the balance. The room was so thick with tension and fear that I couldn't inhale the air even if I wanted to.

I had no idea if she could hear me. Even though I knew she would have wanted me to keep on talking to her, to cover her with my body until we were cognitively together again, I couldn't bring myself to move. A movement could take her away, the wrong words could leave me in a world without her again. My thought process wasn't making sense, but I couldn't risk her life again, she was too delicate and if I fucked up, if I fucked it up again and lost her as a result of it…

"Edward?"

Carlisle's deep, quiet voice broke the silence, and I swallowed thickly. "Thank you for bringing her back," I croaked in a haggard whisper.

"I didn't, son. My teeth never broke through her skin."

Something stirred in my stomach, maybe it was relief, but I didn't have the right to feel it. Carlisle continued. "Everything that's taken place up to this point is because of you, Edward. I understand your fear…but we knew there would be risks. Your venom and its potency, the way in which Bella became infused with it, everything about her change is a first. We'd hoped to know what to expect, but the truth is that we never had any idea what this transformation had in store for Bella."

"She's going to come back," I pleaded with him as if he had the power to make it true.

"I know, Edward. But I want you to put yourself in Bella's place right now. Think of the love she has for you, how long she's waited to be your equal. Would she want to come back to you like this? Your sorrow is understandable, but the hatred you have for yourself has swooped back in like it never diminished at all. You can't let that take you under again, not after you've found so much happiness in your mate."

"When she's talking, when she's touching me-"

"-You'll still be drowning in it. Son, I know you considerably better than you think I do. You have to find a way to let this go."

"I killed her."

Alice opened the bedroom door and walked in determinedly, a fierce look in her golden eyes as she stood at our bedside and buried a hand in her hair. "Stop it right now, Edward. Of course you killed her! You made her a vampire! Her heart stopped beating and you thought it was the end of her life, but it wasn't! She's not done, look at her!"

I did look at my purpose, still and breathtaking but her eyes would confirm a truth I wasn't ready for, and I just couldn't meet them. Alice groaned in frustration, reaching over Bella and physically moving me until my face was hovering above hers. "Edward, look. At. Her. Just let it go and _look at her_!"

I let out a staggering breath, my palms coming to rest on either side of Bella's body on the bed. Alice let go of me once I held my weight, my eyes drifting along Bella's smooth skin and her red lips and the gentle slope of her nose. Once I looked into her eyes, I'd know exactly where she was. Here or there, life or death, saved or forsaken. The now blood-red depths would reveal everything to me, and the idea of knowing the truth wrecked me with its potential devastation.

I shut my eyes tightly as a violent shudder of fear ran through my body, my lips parting as I softly pleaded. "Bella…"

Somehow I finally gathered up the strength to meet her moving eyes...and I found her; I found her in her motionless, extraordinary beauty...and she found me too. As soon as I looked into her eyes, they stopped searching the air above, now focused on nothing but me and the matching deep red she saw in my own. Her breath hitched in her throat and we were frozen there, taking each other in, hearts still, bodies dead but together, we were fucking _together_ and she was here…

Her entire being was a steady vibration, too much energy to be contained in her slight form. I took some of it into me, letting her life fuel me into having enough _faith_ for the both of us.

And then she smiled…

And I was reborn again.

"Where is your light?" she whispered in a voice that was now crystal clear and just as breathtaking as it had always been. She lifted a shaking hand, her palm sliding along my cheek as she searched for the fire that once burned brightly inside my eyes. "Where is it, baby?"

I collapsed above her, holding her so tightly to my body as I sobbed, gasped, begged for everything and nothing in particular. She didn't bend or break beneath me. My shoulders ached from her force as she wrapped her arms around them, and I knew we'd done it. We'd survived this. It hurt to feel this much promise inside me…

"It will come back, beloved," I whispered into the crook of her neck, crushing her against my chest. "Don't leave me again, and I promise I'll be everything for you."

I winced as Bella squeezed me tighter, a breathless laugh escaping me as I relished in her strength. Her permanence. Her forever. And then her sweet mouth slid along my jaw, whispering the words that had the power to revive me from my overwhelming fear, and replace it with a resounding sensation of hope.

"Edward, you already are…_everything_."

And she was everything to me.

**X**

**X**

**x**

**~xxx~**

**ZOMG, _now_ what's gonna happen? Can you believe how uber-emo our Bitey got? Eh, who can blame him, he killed his mate and all. Hopefully he won't wallow for too long so we can enjoy some hot vampy lovin' in the near future!**

**Do any of you read MasterPerv Theatre, the place in which Lazykate and I let down our hair and write dirty, kinky things? Well if you do, you'll remember my most recent submission to MPT, entitled Red Light Special. Link: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5952744/4/Masterperv_Theatre**

**Well I've donated Part Two of this one-shot to Fandom For Sexual Assault Awareness, and I'd love if you guys would check it out! A $5 donation to the sexual assault charity of your choice gets you a fabulous compilation of outtakes, one-shots, etc. from some of the most amazing authors in this fandom! It's for a great cause, ya'll! Go here for more info: http:/fandom4saa(dot)wordpress(dot)com/**

**Follow me on Twitter for a good time. Brits23  
**

**Leave me some love in the form of a review, I read and cherish every one, just like I cherish my readers! :) **

**Until next time!**


	27. Brand New

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Hi guys! When we last left off, Bella had just opened her eyes as a new vamp! Enjoy!**

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

*****BPOV*****

My body felt heavy, but at the same time I could have sworn I was as light as a feather. I was lying on a bed that felt like it was made of tissue, and yet it was holding up the heavy bulk of my body. How did this make sense? There was clothing clinging to my body, but I knew they'd wipe away like pencil lead if I rubbed against them with my finger. How did they remain intact?

There was no longer pain, just an endless stream of questions. I felt them in the room…my family, and my vampire. They were distressed and I knew it was imperative that I showed them I was okay, but…there was just too much to take in.

I felt the air, and I heard it too. Everything was so distracting to me, my mind was racing, my body was afraid to move because it would be too extreme. I watched the ceiling in wonder, trying to straighten out my endless thoughts. There were so many indentations on the ceiling above me, so many crevices and cracks that I'd never seemed to notice with my feeble human eyes.

I heard the others talking some distance away, but it was so crystal clear that it was nothing more than a hum in my over-sensitive ears. I knew that didn't make sense, but that's how everything was for me. So crisp, so fast, so effortless that I couldn't comprehend it.

Instead I stared at the ceiling.

Edward.

His deep tenor distracted me and I stopped examining the space above me.

_Calm down, Bella. One sensation at a time._

I took a deep breathe but it felt…hollow inside my lungs. There was no life in me anymore. When I was alive, I couldn't remember actually feeling the living organisms inside my body. Now that they were gone, it was clear to me that I had felt them all along. As dormant as my body now was, his somber tone still made my stomach twist, still made my heart so heavy that I felt as if I'd burst if I didn't touch him.

Alice's presence suddenly dominated the room like a bull in a China shop. The air swirled around her tiny form, made room for her shaking limbs and ferociously sweet voice as she yelled at my vamp boy. Yelled at him…when he was already so upset.

_Back off, vamp girl. Leave him alone._

Did I say that? Did my lips move? Shit, even though every one of my senses was heightened, I was still burdened with the process of relearning how to use my body. I had to concentrate on _everything_; speaking, moving, fighting the distractions…I felt like a goddamn two-year-old. I was starting over entirely.

I felt his hand on my arm and it made me tingle there, his fingertips soft and warm as they stroked my skin. I began working it out in my mind, separating each new sensation instead of meshing everything together. _The air, the bed, the room, the house, the world. Alice, Carlisle, Edward…Edward_. I breathed through my nose and focused on him. He barely breathed at all. I felt his pain, vibrating in his chest almost as violently as his love for me. I wanted to feel it. _Edward, Edward, Edward_…I repeated his name in my mind, gearing myself up to move, to learn, to show him just how successful he had been in creating his permanent mate.

I held my breath, which did absolutely nothing for me. I refocused my eyes and there he was, above me, searching me, so desperate to be reassured of my safety that he looked as if he were seconds away from perishing.

"Bella…"

The beauty that came from his lips was astounding. The sound was deep and rich and perfect...it was, infinitely _more_, and I was so angry that I had missed out on what my vampire had truly been all this time. I looked at his perfect lips, a pale shade of pink, round, made for my own.

I was so proud of myself for looking away from the ceiling. Taking Edward in and absorbing him with my new senses gave me a greater purpose to excel at this vampire shit. It was suddenly easy to separate each overwhelming element. Well, maybe not easy, but necessary. He was the most important thing to me, he was _everything_. The particles in the air had always been there, and just because I could see them now didn't mean they were any more significant than they ever were. But Edward…my God, how would I survive him now, with these eyes, these ears, these strong hands, this durable body…he was more than I ever could have dreamed of. I never thought he could ever be more magnificent than he was before. How could I do this now? How could I handle more love, more need, more belonging inside my heart?

His eyes were deep and red because of the life I gave him, a shade that would never exist there again. I mourned it, but more than that, I praised it for being a factor in my transformation. It would be gone, but it would never be forgotten. My boy was so unbelievably sad. Scared. Hopeful. He was too beautiful to look at with a simple glance. I knew then and there that I would have to donate an entire day to memorizing his face with my new eyes. Every inch of his body would take a significant amount of time to relearn, and the fact that we had an eternity together nearly made me cry out with joy.

But with my newfound joy, was the sudden realization that I was so far ahead of my vampire. He didn't know yet. He didn't know that even though I was a basket case and I couldn't stop my frantic rambling thoughts, and I was constantly trying to figure out what the hell to do now that I could see and feel _everything_…I was okay now. We were both okay.

_Bella, move your lips. Slowly. Feel them form the words._

I opened my mouth to speak…and I smiled.

Everything about today was so beautiful.

"Where is your light?" I whispered slowly, reverently, trying to convey with the look in my new bright eyes that this was everything we'd ever fucking dreamed of. "Where is it, baby?"

He looked down at me with all the love he possessed, and my chest expanded to make room for it all. In an instant all of his weight was on top of me, all the air leaving his body as he sighed in relief, gasped and crushed me because he knew I was all right. He was so heavy on me but I could have taken more, so much more. I was his equal…hell, I was even a little stronger.

I couldn't help but laugh about that fact, concentrating on my arms as they moved to wrap around him, holding him to me and toying with the levels of my strength.

He groaned when I squeezed too tight.

He was laughing, too.

Beautiful.

I listened carefully as he talked slowly, carrying on and on. I had a feeling that had I been hearing his rant of love and thanks and praise with my human ears, he would have been talking a mile a minute.

He pressed his lips against my neck and a surge of pleasure shot through my body, starting between my legs and webbing out through every inch of me. Holy shit…holy fucking shit. "It will come back, beloved," he promised against my skin, peppering kisses between his words before continuing. "Don't leave me again, and I promise I'll be everything for you."

He seemed so apologetic, like he thought he stopped being everything I needed him to be. It didn't matter, nothing but this. We made it here, safe and sound. I was overwhelmed and confused and fascinated with fucking _everything, _but the fact of the matter still remained. I was here. With him.

We made it.

I closed my eyes and hummed in contentment at the way his hair brushed against my cheek and caused so many more intense sensations to run through my body. It was like every inch of me was electrified when a new part of him touched my skin. We had so much to learn together.

I focused on my hands as they cradled his face, watched with awe as I physically moved him until he was looking into my eyes. We remained there, gazing at each other, mesmerized as I practiced showing him how unbelievably much I loved him with just the look in my eyes. He was trembling so violently against me. "Edward, you already are…_everything_."

There was so much I wanted to do in that moment. Kiss him, feel his bare skin on mine, but my eyes…they weren't done feasting on his beauty, the deep meaning in his eyes and the love that was even more intense than it had been a handful of hours ago.

Cradled in the silence of our bedroom, we simply stared.

And it was perfect.

**-x-x-**

*****EPOV*****

There was no possible way for me to describe what was going on inside me as we eagerly gazed at one another. Carlisle quietly slipped out of the room at some point, the others hovered on the lower level, patiently waiting for us as we settled into our new reality, and Bella and I…

We stared.

The absolute horror the previous night had caused me was no longer hanging over me like a foreboding cloak. Yes, I still felt that disappointment; I still harbored the knowledge that even for the briefest of moments, I wasn't strong enough to be her mate. It was something that I'd never forget. But now, with her eyes so bright and her arms so unbelievably strong, I just couldn't bring myself to waste another minute on it.

Because she was here.

And she was mine.

Everything about her awakening was surreal. The joy that etched the features of her face, her calculated movements, her struggle to take in one thing at a time. I'd always figured that Bella's transformation would never be run-of-the-mill, but I was mesmerized by the way she was so careful with everything she did, how thoroughly she thought about each action, each word before she released it. Like she wanted to savor it, protect it, and not screw it up all at the same time. I only wished she realized that she was allowed to make mistakes during this time; she was allowed a million of them. And even though everything was new and bright and fascinating in the safety of our bedroom, what lay outside of these four walls _would_ cause her strife. It _would_ make her struggle. And I would be there for her _every_ fucking step of the way.

It had been hours since she first looked into my eyes after she awoke, and I learned her new body right along with her. I watched her fingers flex, watched her experiment with her strength and agility while lying quietly in our bed, as if to pay respect to her fate. She had always been meant for this, destined to exist as this perfect being. We were so gentle as we studied her new movements together, as if we didn't want to scare them away. As if we were determined to show just how thankful and astonished we were by the gift of her eternity.

I drifted my fingertips along her cheek, still reveling in how it was possible for her to feel so incredibly different, but entirely familiar at the same time. "Do you feel like sitting up, beautiful girl?" I murmured quietly, studying her vibrant eyes as she focused on what she would do next.

I barely had time to move out of the way before she was upright, her hand grabbing mine and squeezing unbelievably tight as her eyes went wide. "I just…thought about sitting up and I did it. That was…fast." She chuckled breathlessly as my thumb made anxious passes along her knuckles, smiling at her widely as she took it all in.

"It will take a little while to get used to your movements, beloved. Your muscles will react a completely different way when you use them."

She turned to face me, and the crystal clear definition of her beauty washed over me in an instant. I'd never been able to get over how beautiful she was when she was my human girl. Now that she was my vampire…I simply had no words. I slowly let my fingers slide beneath her hair, cupping her head in my grasp as I stared at her in awe. "How are you mine? How did I get so lucky?"

Before I could blink, her face quite literally crashed into mine, sending us tumbling backwards and off the bed. I chuckled, rubbing my stinging mouth as she looked at me with adorably wide eyes. "Too much, I think," she smiled sheepishly, looking down as she fisted my shirt.

My smile couldn't get any wider as I felt the material rip in her grasp, my fingers moving to release hers until they were laced with mine. "I think it was just right," I whispered, moving slowly towards her, letting our bottom lips slide together before we were kissing gently, my Bella's body trembling in determination not to overdo it. Didn't she know she was perfect?

I sat up with her straddling my lap as our kiss intensified, my arms wrapping around her infallible body as her tongue slid between my lips. She tasted like my human girl, but now she felt like my endless future, moving with me at a quickened pace, moaning in pleasure at the desperate force of my hands rather than breaking beneath them. I practically whimpered as I used force with my mate for the first time in my existence, holding her tight, kneading her body, making her mine. "Oh, God, Bella."

"Harder, baby," she whispered against my jaw. "You've been waiting for so long."

I pulled back, holding her face in my hands as I stared at her intently, swallowing thickly. "No, this is about you. Let's do this together. We have so much to discover about one another, now that this is forever."

"It always was," she murmured against my lips. "Forever."

Before I knew it, my back was slammed so forcefully into the hardwood floor behind me that I heard it crack. My giddy laughter refused to stop falling from my lips.

Bella groaned as she pushed her forehead into my chest, running her hands up and down my sides as she did so. "When we have sex, I'm going to hurt you, seriously, vamp boy."

I smiled crookedly, linking both of our hands once more. "Maybe, but I can promise you with utmost certainty that I'll like it."

Her nose touched mine, her smile as bright as my own as our lips brushed together. "You are _so_ mine," she breathed, holding me tighter.

"Probably not yet, though," I murmured, tracing her spine as she hovered above me. I knew she felt me pressed against her, hard…needing to be inside her body where I belonged.

"I want to…but I think I'll die."

I laughed even louder than before. "I hate to break it to you, baby, but that's impossible."

She smiled and rolled her eyes, pressing her palms against my chest. "I know, but…right now just _moving_ kinda blows my mind. What's going to happen when you're bare against me, beneath me, above me…Edward, just thinking about it, I can't even…"

"Hey, it's all right, Bella." I sat up once more, brushing her silky hair from her face as I looked into her eyes to examine her carefully. I'd seen many newborn vampires over the years. Unstable. Crazed. Usually violent because of their heightened emotional and physical state. But aside from a little confusion and her worry over just how she'd be able to handle the intensity of our intimacy, Bella harbored none of these characteristics. I was desperate to know if she was lusting for blood at this point, but I also knew how difficult it was to experience the pain and hunger that came along with it. At this very moment, she seemed so unbelievably happy. I wouldn't bring up the blood until it was absolutely necessary.

"What are you thinking about?" my love questioned softly, bright red, inquisitive eyes searching mine.

"I was just thinking that we've got all the time in the world to process how you feel, beloved. Let's work up to it…we'll talk, I'll answer your questions because I know you have many of them, and we'll see the others, because I know they're desperate to make sure you're all right with their own eyes."

"Okay, but first, I want one thing."

Silly girl, didn't she know that I would give her anything? I circled my arms around her, kissing her forehead, her nose, and finally her lips. "Tell me," I murmured.

"Show me how you had to hold me, Edward. Show me how tight." There was such an intense vulnerability laced within her words, a love so certain that I could hear it in her chiming voice as she begged me to show her what we used to be. I kissed her forehead repeatedly, running my fingers through her hair until my arms slipped around her waist and hugged her like the human girl she would never be again.

"Oh, Edward. Baby, how did you do this? I'm so sorry…" I knew she barely felt me as my arms hung loosely around her, showing her how I had to hold her when every ounce of love inside me demanded I crush her to me.

"It was worth every second, beloved. Every second." I held her infinitesimally closer, reveling in the fact that we'd never have to be that distant again. "Remember when you'd ask me to squeeze tighter…to hold you together during the moments when it became too much?" She nodded and I kissed her cheek, holding her just an inch closer but nowhere near enough.

"Was it like this?" she breathed, kissing my jaw and running her fingers slowly up and down my back.

I nodded, my Adam's apple bobbing as I struggled with the intensity of the moment. If it were possible, I had no doubt tears would be streaming down both of our faces. "This was all I had, Bella. But it was more than I ever could have asked for. Don't ever say you're sorry for giving me this."

She gasped and pushed her body into mine, grabbing my biceps and pulling until my arms were further around her. Bella's entire being was abuzz, her brow furrowed and her eyes fervent as she looked into my eyes. "I love you, baby, I had no idea…I mean, I knew you couldn't hold me like you needed to, but…this isn't fair. This wasn't fair to you, Edward."

I shook my head, kissing her passionately, pulling her closer than I was ever allowed to. "Don't, Bella. Please don't. You have no idea how much just being able to have you, even like this…how much it meant to me. It was perfect, beloved. You need to understand that."

We were both trembling as she hugged me, pressing her lips against my neck as she cried the tears she'd never be capable of producing again. "Please," she begged me softly, slowly beginning to rock us back and forth. "I need it tighter. Put me back together."

I moaned softly, my eyes clenched tight as she spoke the words she'd asked of me a hundred times before. Only this time, she was asking so much more. I breathed unevenly against her skin, my fingers tightening and releasing as I prepared to do something that I had only dreamed of.

Hold her.

Really fucking hold her.

Slowly I strengthened my embrace, breathing heavier each second she was more secure in my grasp. I stopped when my arms were shaking in exertion. I was fucking crushing her to me, and while it would never be enough, it was so unbelievably close. "Bella," I whimpered, kissing every piece of her I could reach as she trembled against me.

Suddenly, it was her turn. My eyes opened widely and my body vibrated as her arms began tightening around me, making me feel something that I never even realized I'd needed so badly. She didn't stop. She held me until it was impossible to take useless breaths, until I was so tightly embraced in her arms that it ached in the most unbelievably perfect way. For the first time in my life, she was crushing me to her. I was crushing her to me. We were in an embrace that nearly showed just how entirely we loved one another.

It was almost more than I could take.

"Edward, I'm scared. It's too much. Fuck, it's too much." She was tearlessly sobbing into my neck, and while she was the newborn attempting to learn an entirely new world, the truth of the matter was that I was just as terrified as she was.

Because I was brand new, too, thanks to her.

"I love you so much, Bella. God, I love you." I regretfully began loosening my grip, trying to give her some relief of the overwhelming sensations that were becoming too much for both of us.

"No!" She immediately panicked, holding me tighter and causing me a great deal more pain than I would ever admit to anyone as she squeezed me harder.

"Okay, love. It's okay." I resumed my hold on her, stroking her back and silently encouraging her to ease up a bit in her strength.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, kissing my ear as she snuggled further into my grasp.

I silenced her with a kiss to her shoulder, my fingers playing in her hair as we simply held each other.

"I love you…"

"I know, beloved. I know you do." The room was dead silent as I rocked her, soothed her, lost myself in her in a new, yet familiar way. After a significant amount of time had passed, I moved to look her in the eyes, neither one of us loosening our grip as I smiled softly at her. "I have so much to show you, sweet girl."

She grinned happily, kissing me as she beamed. "I can't wait."

"It won't all be easy."

She shook her head. "I don't care. I want it all. I want everything that this life entails. It doesn't matter how hard it's going to be."

Silence enveloped us as we gazed once more, words unnecessary as we studied one another. "You're so soft," she whispered, trailing her fingertips across my forearm."

I winced as if she insulted me, my smile refusing to leave my lips. "I beg to differ," I chuckled, pushing my hips up into her.

Her eyes fell shut and a small moan elicited from her mouth, the underlying heat surfacing once more as we touched one another. "Jesus Christ," she breathed.

Just then, her bite mark caught my eye, a nearly silver scar against her pale skin that, while still very prominent, looked entirely different to me.

I swear to fucking God it made my dead heart beat.

My fingers stroked the scar slowly before I leaned in and pressed my lips to it, feeling the skin I'd worshipped thousands of times before, but was now experiencing for the first time. Because she let me drink her. Because we connected in a way that no one ever had before. Suddenly I was so thankful for the gift she had given me that the words were tumbling out of my mouth.

"Bella…thank you. Thank you so much for what you've given me. Despite what I am and the darkness I've brought into your life, with James, with the wolves, you've still blessed me with this. You gave me the very essence of you and allowed me to create our eternity. You believed in me when I was positive I could never make you unbreakable. You've given me everything and I'll never, _never_ be able to make that up to you. God, Bella…I don't have the words. I don't have the words, baby."

I gasped jaggedly as her fingers dove into my hair, stroking soothingly as she lifted my head until I was looking into her eyes. She was so fucking beautiful, it ached deeply inside my chest. "Hey…" she whispered softly, letting her palm slide down my neck and into my shirt until it was pressed over my heart. "We're the same now, Edward. Do you feel us? We're the same in every way. Soft skin, warm to the touch, the way we hold each other…we're equal, baby. It's because of both of us…this isn't just a gift I've given to you. We've given this to each other. It's so perfect."

She watched intently as her hand pressed against me, my skin giving way to her touch, moving beneath her, warm skin to warm skin.

She was my equal…

I held her tightly to me, struggling to control my breathing and my rampant mind as it fought to keep up with the enormity of what we had become in such an insignificant amount of time.

It didn't matter though, because this was entirely about her.

"How do you feel, love?"

"Um…" she laughed shakily, straightening her thoughts. "I'm overwhelmed, like, crazy overwhelmed. And I know we have, well, forever for me to figure it out, but I want to know everything _now_. I want to be done struggling to grasp it so we can just go about our lives, you know?"

I smiled, nodding against her shoulder. "I know, baby. We'll get there. There's a million things we can do, that we can experience together. What's the first, Bella? What's the absolute first thing you want to do with our forever?"

She was silent for a long moment, her fingers slipping into my hair as she pressed her lips to my neck. "I want you to marry me," she murmured ardently, kissing me again and again while I processed her words. "I want you to make me your wife."

I had nothing to say. I couldn't even if I tried. Instead I pressed my lips against the diamond that was securely placed on her left hand, and promised with nothing more than the look in my eyes that I would absolutely make her my wife.

Because there was nothing I wanted more.

**-x-x-**

*****BPOV*****

I remembered an errant thought I'd had once not too long ago, while I was still all human and alive. I had so naively assumed that when I finally became a vampire, it would make it easier to contain this love I felt for my vamp boy. Obviously that wasn't the main reason I was looking forward to being like him…_obviously_. But I thought it would be easier to take, easier to love him and need him when I was a hell of a lot more durable.

Well, that was bullshit.

It didn't matter how indestructible I was…our passion, our need…I now knew that it could never be contained.

And I was so thankful for that fact.

I watched him as he stood in the open doorway of our closet, dropping his towel and finding a new set of clothes to wear for the day.

In the shower I kissed his skin. It tasted like it usually did, but it felt different against my tongue. Warm, familiar, but new and so real. Like he was meant to be mine, even more than before.

Despite my new speed, we had taken everything very slowly the entire day, except for when I tackled him out of bed. Other than that, it was at an ironically human pace. He helped me from the floor, held my hand as I walked around the room. It felt like we were moving at a snail's pace, but Edward assured me that to a human's standards, that wasn't the case at all. After I became more steady on my feet, he walked me to the bathroom, undressing me slowly, letting his fingers drift across my skin like he was touching me for the first time. His eyes were so loving, his hands so intent on feeling me…when he dropped to his knees and kissed my stomach, I could feel my heart nearly beat out of my chest.

Figure that one out.

Once I was completely undressed, it was my turn to relieve him of his clothing. I ripped them to shreds, my own strength getting the best of me once more.

Well, that was my excuse at least.

We stepped under the spray of the water, and the sensation of the beads of moisture hitting my skin were so strange to me. It was refreshing, but I couldn't feel the temperature of the water. Judging by the clouds of steam billowing around us, I knew it was hot, but the obviously scalding heat didn't feel like anything to me. It was the oddest thing.

I was pleasantly surprised to know that feeling Edward's wet, naked body against mine was just as pleasurable as it had ever been, if not more so. I was so fascinated with touching him, watching my fingertips press into his skin, feeling his body give and take just like mine did. Exactly the same. He worshipped me with his hands, cleaning my body and loving me so fucking much that I could barely comprehend it. It was so easy to forget the millions of thoughts bombarding my mind when he was touching me this way.

Being so close to him, bare with him, made us both want more than simple touches and caresses, but there was just so much going on inside me. I couldn't explain how intense he made me feel by just _existing_. I was almost frightened of how good, how _much_ I would feel when he was inside me. We silently both decided to wait until we weren't in the shower and our family wasn't a mere floor below us. But still, I wanted him.

"What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?"

I looked up to see Edward sitting on the bed beside me, fully dressed and kissing my temple.

"I was thinking about the shower," I smiled.

His eyes darkened as he toyed with the towel that was wrapped around me. "So was I."

I shuddered as he ran one finger across my collar bones, a wave of pleasure shooting through me as he slid closer to me on the bed. Holy shit…it was so fucking much.

"Edward, still going to die. You have no idea."

He chuckled and bent down to kiss my collarbone before effortlessly scooping me up and placing me in his lap. "My apologies, beloved. I was thinking…maybe later, when you're ready, we could spend some time in one of the guest houses. Things might be easier in our own space. What do you think?"

"So what you're trying to say, is if we destroy one of the other houses, it won't be that big of a deal, right?" I smirked.

"You see right through me, beautiful girl." He kissed me once more before standing, helping me up and wrapping his arms around me from behind as he walked me toward the closet. "Not that I want you to cover yourself up, but I think we should go downstairs. They're quite anxious to see you, love."

I thought about my family, and although spending almost the entire day with Edward was a need and want, I was suddenly desperate to see the others. I was a vampire now, something that I had wanted for so long, and something that they had wanted for me, too. Something that they had been a part of from the very beginning. I loved them. I wanted nothing more than to share this with them.

Edward helped me dress, rubbing my fingers soothingly as he showed me just how carefully I had to handle the fabric. "This is annoying," I grumbled in frustration, tearing a small hole into the shirt I had just put on. "Whatever, it's not that noticeable, I don't want to change again."

My Edward smiled warmly, kissing my nose and rubbing my arms. "You'll get the hang of it, love. It won't always be so challenging."

"So you keep saying," I sighed, entwining my fingers with his as we walked out the bedroom door.

The house looked different with my new eyes. The feeling in the air, the scents invading my nose…everything was mindnumbingly intense. I literally felt like I didn't have enough time to learn all these new sensations, despite having an eternity. There was just so fucking _much_, I couldn't figure it out.

We took the steps one by one, Edward squeezing my hand tightly as we descended toward our family.

They were waiting for us at the bottom of the stairs. Carlisle looked proud. Esme would have been crying if she could. Alice was bouncing. Jasper was smirking. Emmett was beaming. Rosalie was examining her fingernails.

God, I loved them all.

I came to stand before them, not saying a word as I allowed them to take me in for the first time since my change.

When the silence stretched on for a beat too long, I held out my hand. "Hi, I'm Bella. It's nice to meet you, what are your names?"

Carlisle turned green. Esme gasped. Jasper and Emmett gaped at me. Rosalie looked at me like I was on drugs. And Alice tackled me.

"Liar!" she squealed, crushing me in her tiny embrace. She slammed into me so hard that Edward had to steady us, chuckling quietly as he ran his hand across my lower back. "She's lying, don't even listen to her! Bella, Oh my God!" She hugged me tighter, and I half expected her to wrap her legs around me by the way she was practically molesting me.

The sound of the others laughing in the background made my insides feel all warm and fuzzy, and I hugged Alice back with all my might as I chuckled in her ear. "Damn vamp girl, do we need to get a room?"

"Ow, you're hurting me with your big muscles, newborn! And we might just have to get a room because I swear, I'm so happy. I've never been so happy!" She pulled away, holding my face in her hands as she smiled at me. "You're okay…you're really okay. I didn't know…I couldn't see you, but Bella…I can see you now! Ever since you said your first words to Edward, I could see you again. Everything's going to be all right." Her giddiness was infectious, and I was giggling right along with her. Everything felt so perfect.

Alice finally climbed off of me, giving the others a chance to show me some love. I hugged each one of them with as much strength as I could muster, enjoying every groan of pain I inflicted upon them, because goddamn, I was strong enough to do that, and it was awesome.

Rosalie came up to me after the others had their fill of the Bella love, punching me in the arm before hugging me tightly. "You're a bitch," she grumbled accusingly.

I hugged her back, smiling widely as I made my snarky comeback. "Dude, do you really want to talk shit when I'm like ten times stronger than you? Didn't really think that through, did you?"

"Oh please," she rolled her eyes, struggling to hide her smile. "I could take you." Her actions contradicted her shitty attitude as she pulled me in for another bone-crushing hug. "For one, you're a bitch for ruining my weekend get-away with Emmett by going vamp at the wrong time. Two, you scared me, and that pisses me off. Three, the whole amnesia thing was not funny. So yeah, you're a giant, vampire bitch."

I smirked, rubbing her back before we broke our embrace. "I bet you're glad you aren't the only vampire bitch in the house now, huh Rose?"

"Maybe," she smiled, tucking herself back into Emmett's side.

We all stood at the foot of the stairs, talking adamantly and joking like the happy family we were. Something struck me, like maybe we should be sitting while we celebrate. Normal people sit, but vampires don't. Vampires stand in one place for hours on end because they don't _need_ to sit. They just exist.

There was so much I had to get used to.

I turned back to Edward, smiling happily at him as he kissed my hand. He looked like an entirely different person. Not only because my eyes picked up on so many things that made him so much more beautiful, but because I had never seen him so euphoric. He was finally happy. He finally had everything he'd ever wanted.

And so did I.

Finally, we were complete.

**-x-x-**

It began to snow just as the sun dipped below the tree line, the air smelling entirely different to me on account of the precipitation. The eight of us were sitting around the table, because the standing started to freak me out; we were laughing, smiling, and discussing all the opportunities the future might hold for us.

"Bella, in a few years, once you're able to desensitize yourself to humans, we can travel the world. We can go places that humans can't even reach because of their fallibility. There's so much for us to experience," Esme beamed, holding my hand tightly in between both of hers.

Which led Carlisle to his next question.

"Are you hungry, Bella?"

I pondered his words, leaning into Edward as he pressed his lips to my temple.

Was I?

There was something going on in my throat. It was a little tight and made me speak in a raspier tone, but truth be told, it made me sound infinitely hotter, like that one episode of _Friends_ where Phoebe got sick and it gave her sexy phlegm.

"I don't know, Carlisle. I'm not fiending or anything, but it feels kind of weird. I could give it a shot, if you think we should go hunting." I looked up into his golden eyes, alight with wonder at what kind of vampire I would be.

"We can wait until the morning, if you'd like. Bella, I must say, you are not acting like a typical newborn in the slightest, not that I ever expected you to be _typical_." He took the hand that Esme wasn't holding, squeezing tightly as he smiled warmly at me. "You've done so remarkably well. I'm proud of you, sweetheart."

My eyes felt like they were welling up, but with what, I didn't know. "Well, I'd probably be cowering in the corner, growling at all of you if it weren't for our conversations leading up to this, and of course the mad scientist experiments you performed on me."

Carlisle chuckled, shaking his head. "I hope you don't think they're going to end now that you've completed your transformation," he teased.

"Pshh, that's what you think. Why do you all keep forgetting that I can kick your asses now? I'm going to enjoy that gift while I can, so each one of you can expect a thorough beat down in the near future."

"Speaking of gifts…" Jasper cut in, looking pointedly at me. "Now that we've proven the fact that I can affect your emotions again, and Alice can see your future, what do you think that means?"

I looked to Carlisle and then Edward, who were observing me quizzically. "Well, as far as I'm concerned, we don't need to worry about any of that until Bella's more accustomed to her new life," Edward murmured, pulling me closer. "This is overwhelming enough for her, she doesn't need to feel uneasy about that on top of everything else."

My hand found his beneath the table and I squeezed tightly, leaning in for a kiss before addressing Jasper. "I don't feel like I have a gift, but then again, I don't know how to find it either. Maybe I have to work for it, I don't know. Either way, like Edward said, let me get a grip on this vampire thing, and then we'll see if I can do anything special, cool?"

Everyone nodded their agreement, and in the next instance, Alice was at my side. "So…do you want to know some stuff?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "What kind of stuff?"

"Well, tomorrow we're going to take you hunting…"

"Yeah, about that," I interrupted, tapping my chin. "Since I'm not your average vampire, I was thinking about switching things up a bit. Like, instead of munching on blood, I could eat brains or something. A vampire-zombie, wouldn't that be bad-ass? You guys can be all like, 'blooooood!' And I can be all, 'braaaaaains!' I mean, I'll still do the vegetarian thing, obviously, but I'm thinking that should be my niche. Bella Cullen - the vamp who eats brains, yeah?"

Esme and Carlisle shook their heads.

Jasper and Emmett busted out laughing.

Rosalie scoffed, mumbling, "Glad to know your twisted sense of humor survived the transformation."

Alice said, "Um, that's gross."

And Edward laughed the most beautiful laugh I'd ever heard in my life. "God, I love you Bella," he chuckled, wrapping his arm securely around my shoulders.

Oh yeah, this was where I was meant to be.

**x**

**x**

**x**

**-x-x-x-**

***sigh* I kinda love them all.**

**LB is back, baby! WOOOOT!**

**Thanks for all the support/inquiries over WTF was up with Laid Bare while I unintentionally fell off the face of the earth. You all mean so much to me, and for what it's worth, you will NOT be waiting that long again for an update.**

**Follow me on Twitter, Brits23!**

**And all hail my fantabulous beta, Isabel, for fixing my shizz and loving my Bitey! :)**

**I would love a review or two, won't you leave me one? Next chapter we'll explore more of Bella's new world, and let's face it, BxE won't be able to stay off of each other forever, right?**

**Right!**

**Review! See you soon!**


	28. Newborn

**I don't own Twi.**

**I'm going all drabble ficy to break through this writer's block fail. Hopefully this is better than nothing!**

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

*****BPOV*****

Everyone had an opinion on what they thought the next item on my agenda should be. Mainly they wanted me to hunt before I ventured out into any other newfound vampire adventures. Becoming one with the forest and the creatures who would bring me sustenance was apparently supposed to be quite high on my priority list.

But there was only one way I wanted to make the animal inside me come alive, and it had nothing to do with furry woodland creatures.

His eyes were following me.

Like a predator. Like my lover.

Eyes that were still bright red with blood that would never pump through my veins again, and yet I already felt the need to have him break my skin.

My overactive brain was clouded as I took my first steps across the crisp snow. Even though the sensation was new, I couldn't concentrate on things like textures and sharp crunching sounds that I'd never heard at such a decibel.

Not when every inch of his body was ready to spring, attack, own, ravage, possess.

He took a step closer, looking at me in a way that was so fucking familiar but sent a whole new level of excitement and arousal coursing up my spine.

His index finger slid up and down the inside of my wrist slowly. One warm touch, simple in its gesture, yet sparking so much more inside my body.

"What would you like to do now, beloved?" His voice was rough, full of promise and danger…and if I was being honest, bullshit. He knew _exactly_ what I wanted to do, he certainly didn't need to ask.

"Let her hunt Edward, or there won't be anything left of that cabin," Alice warned from somewhere inside the house.

He shook his head once, nostrils flaring as he took a step closer, leaning forward until his bottom lip was resting against my ear lobe. "I want to know what_ you_ want, Isabella. Nothing matters but what _you_ need…"

I exhaled heavily as my hands fisted in his shirt, tearing the fabric until I could press my fingers against his chest, skin to skin. Something was growing inside me, building, erupting…I felt like I would explode from pure unadulterated _need_. The fucking _need_ to have him inside me and take me. Just fucking take me _now_.

"Edward…" His name on my lips was half growl, half plea as he answered me with his own rumble deep within in his chest.

He took my hands in his and pulled me forward, smiling devilishly as he furthered the distance between us. "Run," he whispered. "Run with me, and then have your way with me."

Before I knew what was happening, I was flying across the snow covered plains. Edward was behind me a significant distance and even though I wanted him closer, I just couldn't make myself stop running at full speed.

My legs carried me to the destination I needed, and even though I had no conscious plan to step foot into the farthest guest cottage away from the main house, it was obvious that on some level I knew exactly where I needed to be.

The second he entered the building, I couldn't stop the feral sounds that rose up from my belly and grew louder in my throat. I didn't feel threatened, more like overwhelmed and desperate for his touch as they left my mouth rapidly. He made me want to feel _everything_. He made me want to stop trying to figure out what this all meant and just _feel_ _him_. He was the most familiar thing in this world to me. Being with Edward wasn't stressful. It wasn't unnatural. He was my home. He was my everything. And if I wasn't bare with him soon, there was no telling what I would do.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Bella. Hearing you growl like that is driving me absolutely insane. You have no idea."

I closed my eyes as he approached me from behind, his chest to my back as he inhaled my scent deeply.

"Do I smell the same?" I whispered breathlessly, my fingers twisting behind me and sliding inside his front pocket, pulling until his hips were pressed against me.

His hands ran up and down my sides at a maddeningly slow pace, moving leisurely until they pressed against my abdomen. "It's a little different, baby. But it's you…and it's so fucking perfect."

I moaned as his hands slid beneath my shirt, moving higher until both of his hands cupped my breasts. His tongue moved down my neck, strong and warm as he sucked and tasted, the sensation so electrifying that it was almost more than I could take.

"Where do you want to start, Bella?" he murmured against my shoulder, biting down as he gripped the cups of my bra and tore it away from my body in one fluid motion.

It was so difficult to fathom how soft and warm his fingers were as they slid across my nipples, and even though he felt new to me, it was the same touches my body knew inside and out.

"I…um…what do you mean?" I murmured, trying to make sense of his previous words. I just couldn't think straight.

Who said vampires couldn't get flustered?

He chuckled low and soft, gently nudging me forward until the front of my legs hit the foot of the bed. "Do you want me to take you on the bed? We're going to break it, Bella. We're going to destroy everything inside these four walls…I just need to know where you want to start, because I won't be able to wait much longer."

Faster than I could even process, I turned in his grasp, grabbing him by his tattered shirt and throwing him until he landed loudly on the bed. He looked at me with fire in his eyes, his chest rising and falling in desperate breaths he didn't need to take. He looked like pure sex staring back at me, with his feral eyes and his ripped shirt and his fingers tearing through bedding, just itching to drag along my skin.

My hands began to tremble, the need bubbling up and boiling over until words were difficult to form. "I'm going to hurt you, Edward."

And then…just when I thought he couldn't destroy me any further, he said a handful of words that pushed me over the edge, made my unmoving blood simmer, all because I needed to have him buried so goddamn deep inside me…

"Hurt me. Break me. Do whatever you need to do, beloved. But if you don't get over here and fuck me right now, I'm going to come over there and _take it_."

Thankfully, just like Human Bella...Vampire Bella didn't need to be asked twice.


	29. Love

**I don't own Twi.**

**You guys are seriously awesome. I love you. **

**This is unbeta'd starting last chapter and going forward. I love my Isabel with everything I've got, but I feel like I need to get this stuff out to you guys the second it hits the document, lol. :) So...forgive me any errors. I'm a hot mess with out Isabel. **

**Ah well. Let's do this.  
**

**-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-**

*****EPOV*****

She was an absolute vision of animalistic need and my undying forever.

My entire body was trembling as she stood at the foot of the bed, gasping for useless air as she gazed at me with hunger, red eyes blazing and intense and all fucking mine. Talking was a chore. Breathing was a chore, and even though I didn't need them, I swear to God my lungs were aching for the air I was pulling into them. I was alive. Every inch, every piece of me...brought to life by taking hers.

I wouldn't wait another second to take her as mine. _As my mate._

Along with the violent need bubbling up beneath her skin, I could see the fear that outlined it all. The hesitance in her body, the shake in her hands, the trepidation in her eyes.

"I'm going to hurt you, Edward."

Her voice rang like crystal chimes, beautiful, but no more beautiful than any other time I'd heard her speak in our time together. While she was different in many ways, none of them made me love her more or less. She was mine. Whether she was the delightfully sinful teenage girl I'd become infatuated with at her window sill, or the agile woman that stood before me today, she was still my Bella. She was still my purpose, my light...and for that, I'd endure any amount of pain, as long as it was from her skin against my skin, her body heavy on mine.

"Hurt me," I rasped breathlessly. My body was sprung tight and ready to pounce, but I needed her to take the lead. I needed her to realize and _feel_ exactly what she was. "Break me, do whatever you need to do, beloved. But if you don't get over here and fuck me right now, I'm going to come over there and _take_ it."

I didn't even have the final words out of my mouth before she was above me, fingers on either side of my head, tearing the pillow beneath me into three separate parts as she panted and searched my eyes. "I love you," she whispered ardently, her face falling and struggling with the emotion pent up inside her.

I moaned as she settled down on me, pressing herself right where I needed her to be. Her hands were clenched into fists around the scraps of fabric and feathers that once resembled a pillow. I slowly lifted my hand, letting my palm slide up and down her cheek. My eyes were soft and full of everything I constantly tried to convey to her but never really succeeded in doing. "Don't look so frightened, my beautiful girl. It's me...it's _us_. You know what to do. Just feel me, baby. Take it slow or fast, whatever feels right. You know me better than I know myself...please." She let out a quiet sob as her hand released the tattered pillow and slid along my chest until it rested over my heart. She experimented with her strength, watched my skin move with the force she provided. I had never felt more delicate, and while that was never something I ever really desired to be, it felt so fucking perfect beneath her fingers.

I watched in rapt fascination as she studied me, watching every movement her hands made as they cleared the torn shirt from my body. My cock ached so fucking viciously as she took her bottom lip between her teeth, her nails dragging slowly down my abdomen and to my belt which was straddled by her long, toned legs. With a tenderness that left me gasping with shock and arousal, she undid my belt, the metal clinking as she took it slow. She watched everything she did quietly, sweetly, reverently, managing to slide the button through the fabric and the teeth of my zipper down without damaging myself or my clothing.

And then she smiled.

And I swear to God I could have cried in that moment.

I couldn't wait any longer. I sat up and pulled her toward me, my lips fused to hers and my hands pulling, frantic, needing as she lost herself in our kiss, smiling all the way through it as she wrapped me up so magnificently tight.

I laughed with her, eyes welling with venom and love and just the fucking significance of a moment I had been waiting so many decades for. So many..._so_ goddamn many...

"Bella..."

"I know, baby." She licked my lips and lifted up on her knees on either side of my thighs, yanking my jeans and boxers down with only a slight tear of material and pulling them down as far as she could before I kicked them off.

I groaned, gripping her tighter around the waist and biting her nipple through her shirt, my bare cock pushing up against her fully covered body. Everything was coursing through me. Utter joy, need, arousal, completion, fear...but more than anything, I just wanted to bring us back together again. She pulled my hair so tightly in her fists as I dragged my tongue flat over her covered nipple, my eyes clenching shut as I tried to calm down, tried to remember that while I was in my own monumental moment, she was in an even bigger one.

I breathed out slow, my hands sliding beneath her shirt and up her back as I kissed her chest, her throat, her neck, her ear...and when I met her eyes, I had never felt more privileged in my entire fucking life. "Baby..." I said the word and it ached, my face crumbling, my voice breaking, my need surpassing anything I'd ever felt up until this point. I pulled her shirt over her head, thankful that I'd already torn her bra off of her body earlier on. I kissed her pretty nipples, pink and soft and the same. She was the same in all the ways that mattered most. "Bella, please..."

She gripped the back of my neck and buried her face in my hair, whispering kisses and love, holding me close and holding me together, because that's what she did. Even when she was brand new. Even when she was confused. Even when she was struggling. Her number one goal was to keep me safe.

In ways, it made me ache in the pit of my stomach, knowing that in her time of need, I seemed to always need more.

But a bigger part of me knew that my vulnerability was hers to take. No one saw me like this. No one knew that I crumbled and fell and cried and begged all because the love of my entire existence made me burn so bright and white fucking hot.

My clumsy hands clawed away her jeans, and I couldn't believe how quickly the tables had turned. I was ripping clothes, shaky and altogether unstable while she was quiet and calm, leading me home. Words were too much. And the way she looked at me...Jesus, it was so incredible. With my fumbling hands and her strong and careful passes, we were finally one-hundred-percent bare together, our skin equally warm, equally impermeable, just equal. In every single way. The look on her face was indescribable as she held my face between her palms, her bright crimson eyes searching mine with a gentle tenderness that made tremble even more violently than I had been.

Her nose touched mine, the tip of hers sliding slightly back and forth, her lips upturned in a smile, her eyes promising me that nothing,_ nothing_ could make her more happy than this. Than what I'd given her. She waited until I was immersed, lost lost lost in her eyes so deep I knew I would never find my way out again, nor did I want to. "Thank you," she breathed, a heavy wave of emotions emphasizing every word. "You don't know what you've given me. How blessed I am because of you. You make me feel so safe, and _so_, so complete. Can we...?"

She drifted off, my mouth agape, panting, wanting more of her words and more of her taste on my lips. "Tell me, love," I begged her.

She shook her head, meeting my eyes from beneath her lashes. "I just want to _love_, I just want to hold you so tight, baby. We can break and destroy and fuck so good, but right now, I need to just fall and cry and breathe you. I need to fall inside of you or I swear to God, I'll lose it. Please, Edward."

I closed my eyes tight and laid back, quickly flipping us over until I was over her..._on_ her. Really on her. All my strength, all my weight, every part of me covering every part of her. I pushed my forehead against hers and gasped, trying to gain my composure. I felt the tickle of our eyelashes fluttering together, and I kissed her cheek, dragging my palm down her belly until I was throbbing in my own hand...and then into where I was meant to me.

We were so far gone.

I couldn't move, couldn't breathe, just let myself feel engulfed in everything that was my perfect, beautiful vampire girl. Because she was no longer human, she was mine, and now...it was honestly and truly forever.

Her eyes were clasped so tight. She wasn't breathing, her arms wrapped around my torso so firmly she was shaking. My elbows were at either side of her head but I needed more skin, more Bella. I moved until her beautiful body was surrounded by my arms, and still, I wouldn't move from her hot, wet body. "Bella, open, baby." My index finger fluttered along her closed lids before I kissed them both gently, her eyes blinking open slowly until she was gazing intently at me. Once I had her with me, open mouths balancing together, eyes hazy but so utterly aware, I moved my hips slightly, unwilling to pull too far away from my love. I buried myself so deep, our bodies swirling, sliding, the most exotic, sensual movements I'd ever felt or made, but never, _never_ disconnecting where we were joined.

I inhaled her heated cries, tasted the desperation on her tongue as she whimpered and sucked and pushed. She bit my lip hard and then licked away the pain, her nostrils flaring with the need for more as her fingers dug into the back of my neck and she thrust back into me with every movement I made against her. She begged me beneath her breath, half moaning, half crying, half desperate delirium as we slid, tasted, and loved. I kissed her lips, carefully moving the hair away from her forehead and watching every beautiful emotion pass through her eyes. "How do you feel, beloved?" I breathed into her perfect, warm mouth.

**x**

*****BPOV*****

**x  
**

How did I feel?

There was no easy answer. Jesus Christ, there wasn't even a difficult one.

I felt like after months of wanting, needing something so fucking badly, I had finally gotten it. My wish was granted. My dream come true. My life complete.

Edward.

He was the only answer for any of the good in my life.

He was my answer for everything.

I shook my head from side to side, connecting my eyes with his to show him that it was more than words could articulate. His tongue in my mouth was so warm, so sweet and loving and obvious in the way he loved me. My body was alive for the first time in my entire life, and it only took my death to give me this feeling. His muscles clenching as he squeezed me, the course but somehow amazingly soft hair on his chest, his stomach his thighs as they moved against my body. I'd felt this all before, but now it was magnified by a million.

Even more.

He moved so smoothly inside me, yet didn't dare pull out, which I was so thankful for. At this point, I wouldn't be able to take it. We weren't going anywhere. It was this. For days, months, years...whatever it took. We had that option now, and if I had it my way, he wouldn't leave my body. I clenched so tightly around his cock, stealing his breath away as he pushed deeper, held tighter. He couldn't leave me. He couldn't.

I moaned and whimpered and shook as he sucked my chin, kissing down my throat and chest until his tongue was sliding and tasting my nipples again. I was going to come, and I felt like once I did, I wouldn't stop. It was so good. So fucking good, my brain was mush, the million scents and sounds that had bombarded me since I had awoken a vampire no longer existed. Just like always, the world faded away when he and I were together like this. I tried to say his name, but I couldn't seem to voice it, no matter how desperately I was screaming it in my mind.

I was lost in him, my hands grasping everywhere I could reach, dragging up his back, pulling through his hair, my teeth against his neck as his tongue slid across my shoulder and his lips sucked hard. My bones were reduced to jelly as his nose slid up my jaw, and his deep groan sent shivers throughout my body as he stopped moving inside me. I held him tighter, knowing it was probably too much but I needed to know he was all right. "Bella..._God_." I shivered violently, grasping onto him because I felt like he was the only thing tethering me down. His voice, so crystal clear and so deep, right in my ear and desperate for me. Christ, I was so fucking close. "I love you. I love you so much," he panted, kissing behind my ear and beginning to swirl his hips against mine again. I could almost feel the urgency beginning to crackle and spark beneath his skin as he buried his face into my neck. "So beautiful. You're so beautiful...let me do it baby. Please, I don't need the blood, I need my teeth in your body. Please, Bella. You have to let me, _please_..."

My eyes widened and I gasped loudly as I felt his tongue slide along my bite mark. Somehow I was too far gone to realize that he was right there, mesmerized by the way he marked my skin and all that it had brought us because we needed it so much. I was starting to unravel. The knowledge of what he was about to do and the way it made him crazy was scaring me and exhilarating me to the point where I didn't know how I would handle it. I was already so overwhelmed with how much _more_ he was...the way he felt and tasted and moved against me, it was all too much and he was going to..._fuck_...he was going to...

"Take it. I need you to take it." I let out a desperate cry, burying both hands in his hair and pushing his mouth closer to the scar that would always be engraved into my skin. I wouldn't have it any other way. I was so close to climaxing_ hard_, my pussy pulsing around him as he slid and moved and pushed. His name was a prayer on my lips. Where once it was too much to form the words, now I just couldn't stop.

He enveloped me with his body, pushing me against the mattress with his weight and sliding sinfully in and out of me in languid, barely there thrusts. He cradled my head in his hand, kissing and licking the length of my neck before dragging his teeth along my bite mark, making me clench around him even tighter. "Fuck, Bella," he groaned, his fingers curling and tearing through the mattress as he held still against me. He started thrusting harder than before, letting are bodies separate for mere seconds as we began to pick up the pace. "Gonna come...gonna fill you up, beautiful girl," he mumbled, biting my neck again. "Love you, Isabella. The second my teeth are in you, you'll come. You'll come so hard. Promise me. Say the words."

I clawed my fingernails down his back until my hands were on his ass, pushing him down into me as I was pushing up. Things were getting messy, frantic, hot as I whimpered and cried, feeling like I was seconds away from exploding. "I promise," I breathed. "I love you too, so much."

With a growl, he sunk his teeth into me, where I was used to them, where I had begged for them every day. Stars formed behind my closed eyelids, he slammed me hard as I clenched and came and gushed around him. Wood splintered behind me and he growled and raged as he filled me up, pounding and taking and ravaging as he came for what seemed like forever. It was too much, I couldn't think. He made me scream, he made me desperate. He couldn't stop. I wouldn't let him.

He slowed down, licking my bite and sloppily sucking my neck. His venom dripped down until it was sliding between the valley of my breasts. I wanted more.

I was taking it.

I felt vicious, enraged, like the killer I was supposed to be, only every single ounce of fire inside of me was only ever fueled by my love for him. I flipped us until he was beneath me, his cock inside me still as hard as ever, his eyes glazed and his chest rapidly moving up and down as he stared up at me.

I barely noticed the splinters and pieces of wood from the headboard that he crumbled when he came inside me.

But I had only just begun.

I slid back and forth on him ever so slowly, biting my bottom lip as he laid his palm flat against my stomach, covering my belly button. His eyes slid lazily up my body, a heated smirk on his face as he finally met my eyes.

His, while not as red as mine, were just as feral.

"Time to break things?" he questioned, challenging me with the thrust of his hips as he lifted up off the bed and slammed into me.

I narrowed my eyes, grabbing both of his hands and pushing them down into the mattress on either side of his head, so fucking fast that even I was impressed with my speed.

His eyes were wide.

His cock was so fucking hard.

"Yeah," I whispered, leaning down and biting his shoulder until my teeth sunk in, making him wince and growl and tremble beneath me.

I smiled wickedly, anxious to test out my newfound strength and dominance.

"Time to break things, vamp boy."

**x**

**x**

**-x-x-**

**Review me! More to come... hehehe...**


	30. Snowflakes

**Stephenie Meyer owns any Twilight characters and Twilight plot lines that may appear in this story. The remainder is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization. Don't steal, it isn't polite.**

**Yes, it's been forever, but let's not dwell on that, k? We last left off with lots of vampire sexin', which is always a good time, in my opinion...**

**-x-x-x-**

**BPOV**

Everything in this cabin was broken.

Tarnished, demolished, crumbled to dust from our days spent there, going from passionate and slow to frantic and fast, to violent and desperate to loving one another in the sweetest sense of the word.

Days.

We adored one another so ardently, we tested our strength, we learned our bodies that were familiar yet foreign to us now that we both felt brand new to one another.

And we laughed.

Because nothing was hindering us now.

Snow was everywhere. I don't know how the hole in the ceiling came to pass, but it had been there long enough to cover us in the purest feather-light snowflakes, reluctant to melt on our cold skin. I wrote 'I love you' on his belly, realizing only then that we had been laying there together in the same position for hours, gazing, connecting, long enough for a soft dusting to cover my vamp boy from hips to sternum.

He smiled and kissed my hand after I wrote in the snow on his body...and he proceeded to lick every bit of it off of mine.

Yeah...this was what euphoria truly meant.

This is what my life was created for.

My vampire licking snowflakes off my skin...

Feeling him warm, feeling him soft, feeling him just like the first time he hovered and gazed through my window sill.

This was everything I had been waiting a lifetime to feel.

**x-x-**

"You need to hunt, beloved. It's been days and you've had nothing."

"I've had plenty," I smirked, gripping him hard in my first for emphasis.

He winced, and I hugged him with my whole body on top of his, whispering apologetic kisses into his skin until he was chuckling. "I forget sometimes, vamp boy. I'm so fucking tough, it's kinda scary."

He dragged one finger up and down my spine as I tried to control the strength of my embrace. He continued to laugh, whispering in my ear. "You might want to handle that particular part of my body with more care, if you tend to make use of it for the rest of your existence."

I pushed my hips down into his, rubbing slowly against him. "I promise to cherish it for the rest of my days," I smiled.

He brushed two fingers along my throat, his brow furrowing. "Does it hurt?"

"I literally feel no discomfort," I shrugged. "Well, there's some...when my mouth isn't on yours. And when you aren't doing other, dirty, dirty things to me."

It was another hour before we were done kissing, playing, laughing, wasting time because we had hours upon fucking hours of it.

I met his eyes, my smile falling and the moment turning suddenly very serious. I watched him for a long moment as his thumb ran back and forth along my bottom lip. "If I hunt...will you get out of this busted, broken bed and marry me already, Edward Cullen?"

His eyes were so soft, and it took me a while to realize I'd been studying the different speckles of gold and fading red inside them. I could see so much more now that I was his vampire. "Can't I ask you?" he murmured so softly.

I smiled, kissing the ring on my left hand and then kissing his lips. "You more or less did, baby. This is on my finger, isn't it?"

He flipped me over rapidly, hovering over me and making me tingle from head to toe from the sheer magnitude of love in his eyes. His fingers brushed back my wild hair until every strand was laid across the pillow and out of my eyes. "Let me say the words," he whispered.

"Edward..."

He slid off of the bed until he was kneeling beside it, grabbing each of my thighs and sliding me across tattered sheets until I was sitting on the edge. His arms were wrapped around my torso, his cheek resting on my breasts, his body trembling, his breath uneven as he squeezed me like he'd wanted to for so long. Tight, with all his strength, with all the love inside him.

"I walked straight up to you, in the middle of the night. We hadn't said a single word to one another before my teeth broke your skin. Not a word, and you knew. From the very first instance, you knew."

My eyes were stinging but tears weren't falling. It was the oddest sensation, but it didn't make me _feel _any less. I was overwhelmed, I was full to the brim, and Jesus Christ, did my vampire have a way with words. I dragged my fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead as he continued.

"Bella, you know what I'm feeling. How I can't put this into words. How I can't touch you enough, show you enough, be inside you enough. Even now, when we have forever, it burns because I want to push this into you. To make you feel it inside so you know. Love...is a mere shadow of this overwhelming passion that has enveloped me from day fucking one. Baby..."

I shushed him and swallowed the lump in my throat, entangling our fingers on both hands and holding them against my face.

"I love you isn't enough...it's not enough. But promising to be yours for an eternity, to devote my life to you, to protect you, to be your _mate_...I'm praying to any power above that it's enough. My purpose, my light...my _wife_...that's what you are destined to be. You know you are..."

I kissed his lips and pulled him closer, unable to wait until the words were out of his mouth. I needed his taste and his skin and his words rumbling against my lips.

"Please marry me, Isabella. Please allow me that honor..."

I nodded frantically between kisses, my arms so tight around his neck that he was grunting from the pain and laughing because he'd wanted it for so long, and now he finally had it.

I don't know how many times I whispered yes, but I didn't stop until he was inside me, until the snow was falling around us once more, and the sun had disappeared rapidly over the hill.

Hunting would have to wait for another day...

my vamp boy and I had an impending wedding to celebrate.

**-x-x-x-**

**I love you all...and please know I'm sorry for the delay. I never meant for this to happen, but I will finish every work in progress I have, no matter what. Review if you want, see you soon! :)**


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